PREVIOUSLY ON THE CRIMES AGAINST NATURE PROGRAM
>>25691786
>What is this thread about?
Half human and half pony/other Equestrian species offspring.
>What are the rules?
There are no thread specific rules, do what you want.
>What is the continuity (world/characters/attributes)?
Whatever you want it to be. Everything is a variable, there are no absolutes. Characters, names, genders, personalities, relationships, backgrounds, writing style, genre. If you want to know the common headcanons of certain characters, read some stories or ask the thread.
Searchable Archive:
http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/search/?tags=satyr
Story by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/qFf46ep5
Author List:
http://pastebin.com/RFgtrECq
Satyrs by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/uBqbm6eq
Dropbox
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/d94jlx7pgl5gg34/AABM4w-okI70GyrbCsVNee9Ga?dl=0
Need some proofing done? Or want to throw ideas around?
Add one of the Skypes below!
[NEEDS UPDATING]
>>25738819
Make a satyr do something you think is awesome. You have five minutes.
>>25738819
Next edition..."We can do better" OR "Be Excellent to Each Other"
>>25738917
Satyr is dared to skateboard for the first time. Instead of beefing it, the end up accidentally doing an aerial 360 into a grind, eventually landing in front of Sugarcube Corner without a scratch.They head inside to throw up from the hardcore adrenaline and fear rush.
Where do satyrs identify themselves on the lgbt spectrum?
>>25739193
Ponos and Vagoo
>>25739731
>"Laika, are you going to dress like that everytime we play 40K?"
>>25739744
>40k
... Get out.
>>25739754
Nuh
Satyr wants you to help them build a snowman and maybe a snowfort.
Remember kids, incest is alright but only if it's with a parent and a child.
>>25739950
What if I'm just a crusty old Anon like the one in this repost?
"Daddy, please come outside. The snow is beautiful."
>"Desirae, it is barely 20 degrees out there. I could possibly catch hypothermia and lose a finger. My fingers are valuable."
"But daddy--"
>"No. No buts, young lady. I am a busy man, as your mother is a busy mare, and you a striving businesswoman. If an authority figure tells you no, you either change the paradigm or accept fate."
>He stares at you, your winter coat bloating your figure
>"And take that damn thing off. You look like you've gained thirty pounds."
>He closes the door to his study, pushing you out, leaving you speechless and numb
"D..."
>>25739950
>Pegasus Satyrs can use clouds instead of snow
>Unicorn Satyrs can use magic to help them
>Earth Satyrs got nothing to help
Man it sucks to be an Earthie.
>>25740008
>my short got reposted already
I'm honored. I'll keep up with these bits then.
>>25740814
They have hands. And high strength. That's all you need, really.
>>25740814
Using clouds just wouldn't be the same. How are their non-pegasus friends gonna be able to play with them?
>>25741260
>being friends with ground pounders
Nah.
>>25741310
Don't be racist.
>>25741336
If they're stuck to the ground? Don't hang around.
If they've got a horn? They're only good for porn.
If they've got wings? Let wedding bells ring.
PEGASUS PRIDE. WORLDWIDE.
"So, Prism, wanna hang out later?"
>Silence
>"...I'm sorry, why?"
>More silence
"...I... have some new recipes I need someone to try?"
>"What about Pogo? Or Fiddle and Faddle?"
>The girl pushes past, scoffing
>"Fucking earth ponies..."
>>25741509
>If they've got a horn? They're only good for porn.
So what about ones withlower horns?
>>25741547
In a perfect world...
>>25741548
One is okay. But if they've got two dicks? Don't trust their tricks.
"Hey Herc!"
>"Listen, not tonight."
"Aww..."
"Maverick, buddy!"
>"Flying practice, gotta jet!"
"Broil, I hear you have a sweet tooth~"
>"And I hear you have a fat ass. No wait, that's pretty true!"
"I-is that a bad thing?"
>*snrk!*
>Sitting alone with tears stinging your eyes, the bell rings to the shop mom and pop own
>You don't bother giving much emotion to your customer
>Even if she was kind to you
>The dark-skinned, purple scaled shortstack placed a ticket on the counter and smiled, bouncing on the balls of her claws
>"I-I'm here to pick up my order, Shortcake."
>A pause.
>"How are you doing today?"
"Absolutely shitty. I've never felt so alone. Nobody wants to hang. It's almost like nobody wants to be my friend."
>The little drake smiles kindly in response
>"I used to feel that way when I was a baby dragon. My dad would always be away with Glimmer's mom, and Glimmer would always be studying this or that. But I always had Rory."
>You bite your lip, holding back
>"You just gotta find that special guy or girl that always wants to hang, y'know? The one that you could, uh, let shove food down your piehole and not feel bad about it!"
>Even if she did just call you fat, she had a nice and settling point
>You place her cake on the counter and force a smile
"Thanks, Thistle. I'll remember that. But who around here even wants to be around a girl who likes to eat and be wild at the same time?"
>The dragon ponders a moment
>"Well, there's always Green Peace, Tonsils, and Trimmings! They're all /about/ food."
>>25740008
>The ground is covered in newly fallen snow, and the sun is shining
>Not a single cloud in the sky
>Today is a perfect day to go for a walk with your family
>While you're walking through the park with your wife and child, you spot a young satyr girl sitting on a bench all alone
>You recognise her
>Desirae was her name
>It's one of your friend's kids, the one who married Harshwhinny, and she looks mighty sad
>You thought about simply ignoring her and focusing on having a good time with your family, but your kind-hearted child had another idea and asked her why she looks so down
>All of you heard her short story about her parents who seems to care more about work and business than spending time with their own flesh and blood
>You don't know how to react
>No parent should ever put work before their own child
>You kinda feel like walking over to your friend's place and telling him a thing or two
What would you do?
>>25741633
I'm very nonconfrontational, so I'd just bring Desi along for my family adventures
"Well, come with us then. There's a snowball fight scheduled, and the kids were looking outnumbered."
>"But there's only one of you, sir."
"Kek, but I'm best snowballer this side of Equestria."
>>25741651
>I'm best snowballer this side of Equestria.
Kinky.
>>25741651
Who's the best snowballer on the other side?
>>25741689
>snowballer
Is that some sort of double entendre?
>>25741700
Hope.
>>25741704https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowballing_(sexual_practice)
>>25741591
I want you to continue.
>>25741894
I was hoping for a
>I suggest X!
>>25741934
By "X", do you mean shipping? Or becoming friends?
>>25741959
Friends. Definitely friends.
>>25741969
Then I'm gonna vote Tonsils.
>>25739754
Better than AoS
>>25743637
Norman and Hope make a cute couple.
>>25743642
Huh, never actually thought about it like that... They really do.Not really, they look more like a brother and sister.
Reminds me of the idea where Hope ends up in the EqG universe.
>>25743840
>magical anomaly happens
>satyrs end up in Canterlot High
That could be interesting.
>>25744114
WAH! Petunia!
>With no udders
Aw... Still cute.
>>25744182
>With no udders
Two sets of breasts (especially Two different types of breasts) is some /d/ leveled shit man.
It ain't for everyone.
>>25744114
Kawaii!
>>25744114
>my shitty art is reposted
This is what it means to be alive
>>25744244
Not exactly ironic, but if >>25744280
Is telling the truth... I mean, /d/ is in his name.
>>25744280
That's cute though. You should draw more.
>>25744280
See >>25744402
Shit's cute mang
>>25744402
He does draw fairly regularly.
>>25744529
Cider and Utah being sleepies?
>>25744114
I want Candy and Petunia to have a lactation contest.
>>25744541
Or she's pegging him and they're both enjoying it immensely.
>>25744563
>They try to invite Mumble.
>She doesn't want in... And she doesn't lactate!
>The girls don't believe her, have to see for themselves.
>Whacky shenanigans ensue where they try to see Mumble's bewbs.
>They always fail, exposing themselves i the process.
>>25744608
No, they're just sleeping together.
>>25744640
Phrasing, boom
>>25744627
>Kaos enters the fray and inflates her bust to legendary proportions before squirting milk all over the other girls
>Mau comes along and is just filled with absolute bliss
>>25744723
>Bandages and ripped pants
Why
>>25744723
>dat cameltoe
unf
>>25744733
What, would you prefer it without the pants?
>>25744723
You have winrar!
Continue?
>>25744733
Because Discord is a sick bastard
>>25744739
I never noticed that... Yosh
What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to your satyr recently?
>>25745034
While trying to fix her dress, she accidentally let off a loud and proud fart. It lasted four whole seconds. When people looked, her little brother took the bullet for her.He wasn't as popular with the girls for a couple weeks after that, but he did it for his sister.
>>25744771
I always saw her wearing tight t-shirts and short shorts.
>>25744402
I do post a bit, I just don't namefag often.
>>25744344
I don't mind drawing more, even some /d/ stuff. I know it's hard to fill a request that's halfway between boards.
>in your cottage, things are quiet.
>you sit on the outskirts of town, where ponies pass by, but nothing ever happens.
>over the years since you wound up in equestria, you've been working on applejack's farm.
>you've saved enough over time to get this village, small and not-too-pricey.
>everything other than work and bi-weekly shopping was serene.
>you could almost pretend it was your normal world again.
>you ease into your custom made recliner, staring at the rain pattering on the window outside.
>you reach for your glass of apple family whisky, a perk of working on the farm.
>you finish off your fourth glass, and feel the warmth seep into your body longer.
>eyelids heavy, sleep settles into you, and you let out a quiet yawn.
>a loud bang wakes you up, and you groggily pull yourself from the chair.
>your head goes light, and you knock the empty glass off the table looking for balance.
>another bang, the door, goes off, causing a ringing in your head.
>a scowl crosses your face.
"who the fuck would even come here.."
>you look again at the heavy showers, even hearing faint thunder in the distance.
"especially in this shit storm."
>you open the door cautiously, peering around the area.
>a small figure is on the ground, cowering slightly.
>you squint in the dark, making out the dark green mane of somepony.
>weird, their back legs almost look like.. wood.
>>25745403
What about nothing at all
so is there any good porn stories? I really wanna jack it.
>>25747395
Uh, there's stuff by Nude Anon and a bit of stuff from Gatorbait in the link in the OP.
>>25747395
There's a paste on That_Happy_Guy's pastebin with a bunch of smutty shorts
>>25744344
>>25744244
http://imgur.com/avgXQyz
cow tits
>>25748078
... Anon, I love you for this.
???
another blacklister
http://imgur.com/AB7vYHA
>>25748347
Oh dear. Either someone's going to jail or someone's cheating on Lyra.
>>25748347
Hawt/10
>>25748078
>>25748347
Holy moly, these are good. Thanks benevolent Anon.
wtf im retarded and forgot my namefagging immediately
http://imgur.com/0F1bGCl
>>25748852
Is this a Diamond Tiara satyr? Looks nice!
>>25748922
No, there's a horn. Tiara is a filthy earthy. Who is>>25748852
/d/?
>>25748994
is supposed to be a moondancer child. its hard to tell.
>>25749040
Someone made a picture of a Moondancer satyr. She's a little on the orange side, but pretty adorable.
>>25749040
To be fair, any character who isn't closer to a shade of white is pretty hard to tell in a sketch/lineart
The evening gloom has begun to gather when Spitfire finally makes it home. Working a desk, while not as physically intensive as flying, sure manages to take a whole lot longer. And she's always so stiff afterwards! The mother of four does a limbering stretch after touching down on the ground, working her way from the tip of her tail to the base of her neck, ending in a rather inviting snout-down, flank-up position.
"I'll have to have my darling check out tight I am tonight," she murmurs with just a hint of lewdness behind her smile. After shaking her body out, the yellow pegasus pushes her way inside. "I'm finally back! Sorry about the delay!"
Nothing.
The stillness strikes Spitfire as truly bizarre; having a smattering of children and a busybody husband means that there's always someone doing something but now there is only silence, filled with a sense of tension. Trying her hardest to keep her hackles from going up, the former Wonderbolt Captain quietly slinks her way down the hall.
"Kids? Sötnos?" she manages to whisper out. But still nothing. Gnawing on her lower lip, the increasingly anxious mare peeks around the corner. And then she sighs and smiles. "Boys..."
With a shake of her head, the mare trots over into the living room to better survey the scene. There is her husband sunk deep into his chair; perhaps not as imposing as he was in his youth, but still an impressive size all the same. Eyes closed, jaw slack, breathing steady, with the edges of a book still caught between his thumb and forefinger.
Nestled in his lap are the twins, the hairs on their heads thick and dark as ever, like rich red earth turned over and ready to be tended to. Ratchet has very nearly buried himself in his father's chest, while Rocket clings to his brother's hand as though it were a blanket.
Biting back a motherly coo, Spitfire leaves the scene with a shake of her head and a small smile on her lips. "They'll be up all night. Good thing he's rested up too."
So it was...
So what are some talents of the lesser talked about Satyrs?
>>25750157
One of them has the power to make you shit yourself with their mind. Only humans though... They aren't even a Unicorn satyr.
>>25750193
>Satyr discovers the brown note
Christ I can hear the theme to Always Sunny now.
I wish my parents were as cool as you guys in this thread!
>>25740960
oh fuck off, attentionwhore
>>25750157
Dynamo can hold his breath underwater for two and a half minutes
>>25751179
Big deal. Maxie can hold his breath for almost an hour underwater!>"But... He's-"
"Just let him have this..."
>>25749822
This is just too cute.
>Satyr sings in a local battle of the bands show. What does their singing voice sound like? Which song did they sing? How does it go?
>>25748347
u-unf
>>25751604
Satyr is for sweetness
>Still on the prowl, you search for Tonsils, the local medical student looking to follow in the hoofsteps of her mother
>Thistle had long since gone home with her order, even after you asked if she'd hang with you sometime
>"O-oh! N-no, Rory always needs help back home, y'know?"
>It kinda felt like everyone was avoiding you for some obtuse reasoning
>Another biped walks by you, one with white legs and her hair in a bun
>You stop and wheel around
"Hey! You!"
>The satyr stuttersteps, but then continues after not hearing a response in the first two seconds
>Growling, you follow
"C'mon, I just wanna talk to you!"
>"Ma'am, I'm quite busy and don't have time to diagnose whatever problem you think you have."
>She closes the folder she was looking over, stroking her chin while continuing to walk straight into a small store
>You grunt but follow
>She stands at the cooler, trying to decide between kefir and gogurt
"Listen. Tonsils, right?"
>With incredible exasperation, the girl turns to you
>"Fine, fine. What's the problem?"
>You shake your head at her
"No problem. I'm just trying to make a new friend."
>There's a pause from the girl as the cashier leans over the counter just a little, trying to eavesdrop
>"What are you playing at? Free checkups? I don't cover that. I'm not even part of book keeping."
>AGH!
"You aren't listening! You're like everyone else in this damn town! All I want is someone cool to hang out and the drake in the area told me you might be my style!"
>You brush a stray hair out of your eyes
"Apparently, she was wrong. There's nobody chill around these parts."
>>25752876
>Maybe you could ask mom and dad if you could move to Fillydelphia or something...
>The pink maned satyr walks past you slowly, paying for both the kefir and gogurt before returning to you
>She holds out both yogurt drinks with a flat expression
>"Pick one."
>You blink and stare at the choices
"H-huh?"
>"Grab one of the damn drinks because I can't decide. If you wanna hang, let's hang. Just, come on. I'm sorta busy-ish."
>You gulp and laugh shakily
"Y-you really mean it?"
>"The longer you take, the more I'll consider changing my mind."
>You grab the kid's choice and clap your hooves mid jump
"Yyyyyyes!"
>this whole damn thread
>>25753181
>mfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdRWGMyeSYY
>>25752882
>>25753181
I hope she finds a great friend.
>>25753181
This is why I hate parties.
>>25753181
Earth pony go home
>>25753357
Earth ponies are the fucking best. Better than the unis up in their ivory towers or the pegasi with the 'Gotta go fast' mentality.
>>25753181
Also this is cute, nice MT
Can someone turn this mothpony
>>25740779
into a satyr? Figured it'd be a little funny because of the post she quoted.
>>25753540
But the only moth pony satyr we have looks like autism personified, and moth ponies are a completely fictional race where as bat ponies have atleast a semblance in the show.
http://imgur.com/3HIUWkM
was gonna post last night but i was fucking OUT
>>25753502
Earth pony why don't you just
HOOF IT
O
O
F
I
T
>>25753834
You'd like that wouldn't you, horn scum. Ready to get wrecked by our superiorly muscled stallions and mares?
>>25753962
>you just a brainy dummy!
>we're really strong!
>really!
That's why the earth ponies were the great warriors right? Oh wait...
YOU CAN'T TOUCH WHAT YOU CAN'T REACH,
STUCK ON THE GROUND WITH JUST YOUR FLOWERY SPEECH
WE RULE THE HEAVENS, WE RULE THE SKIES,
WHEN YOU HEAR US COMING, BEST SAY YOUR GOODBYES!
OTHER RACES WE CANNOT ABIDE!
PEGASUS PRIDE, WORLDWIDE!all right, I've had enough of that.
>>25754043
>"Boys, boys! Why all the hate? We're not living in Pre-Equestrian times, we're all good ponies here! Pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies should all get along!Then we could direct our hate to the ones who actually deserve it, those filthy fucking scaley beasts I mean who the hell let these dragons in my backyard holy Celestia
>>25754186
Irrationally racist Fluttershy is the only Fluttershy i like.
>>25754205
Racist What do you mean she's racist? She's friends with a dragon! Just the other day she let his half-breed daughter hang out with her children. They're practically pony!
>>25754281
I prefaced it with the word irrationally for a reason, mate.Fluttershy a stutter butter
>>25748347
Mmm, good old father-daughter incest. Yummy.
>>25754319
It was supposed to be taken as Flutters not being racist because she has a token friend who's a dragon.
>>25754361
Sorry, I guess I already see Spike as the token male, so the token minority is just too much.
>>25754411
I always saw Big Mac as the token male.
>>25754411
>Not the token shota
Do we have a token shota, /satyr/? Do we have one that we could tease and bully? I'd suspect it would be one of the CMC satyrs. Heck I'd even settle for a token loli.
>>25754543
Orion/Rory
Sterling
Little Mac
Those three come to mind immediately.
>>25754571
Is Sterling a shota? I just assumed he was a dwarf. Also we are woefully short on prime bully material.
>>25754624
Nothing says he can't be both, especially as he just stops growing and becomes easy pickings.Also we tried some bullying for a bit but somehow it tended to turn into underdog stories every single time.
>>25754624
>Also we are woefully short on prime bully material
Simmer, Snapshot, anyone >>25754571 listed.
>>25754656
But I want Alex picking on Rory on his first day in 8th grade highschool. Or maybe Maverick teasing Trimmings about her gut.
>>25754682
>Simmer
Many problems stated in the many posts above
>Snapshot
He gets bullied because he's too desperate for the D.
I think Clef or Driftwood would make it on the list though.
>>25754776
Is there a reason he looks like Mr. Tummnus from Chronicles of Narnia?
>>25754814
Mostly the scarf. Thickette calls him Tum Tums because of it.
>>25754686
Or you could pick onPresto because he lives in a trailer with his mom
LAME
>>25754949
I'm sure she and her husband upgraded after they got married, or atleast had a kid.
>>25754949
YOU LIVE AT HOME IN A TRAILER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkcMz624Qhc
>>25754987
Not if she wants to stay in show business.
>>25755004
SUPER LAME
>>25755052
This might possibly be my favorite sketch of Alex. I love Nobby's art style, I wish he came back. And Turtle. And Boron. And Fuschs. And Paladin, Daily, Sterks. Fuck, we have a ton of drawfags in cryogenics.
>>25753715
I'm in love with everything you've put out
May I make a request?
>>25753181
Aw, poor Shortcake...
>>25755947
Shortcake is for cuddlesand 'mirin that ass
>>25756058
>tfw never much cared for her, Venus, or Dagger because their pony parents are married
The donkey Satyr I can give a pass because you could argue artificial insemination.
>>25756173
I still stick with that all their dads ( except Venus, because tragedy is her thing) are their mom's pony/donkey husbands who got experimental with a de magic.
>>25755676
Shoot. It'll be later when I'm off work tho.
>>25756260
Something cute of Lola here
She hates wearing pants and loves basketballAnd dem freckles
>>25756173
Just have them before they were married. Or atleast have it individualized. I say that Dagger's mom had sex with Shining after a nasty break-up with Cadence. He left eventually, both on good terms, but then she found out she was pregnant. She was gping to contact Shining for support, but once she found out he was a prince she decided to raise the kid on her own.
>>25756322
Remind me to use that excuse if you ever find a woman who'll touch you.
>>25756375
Well if you're gonna be a bitchabout it then by all means, please do.
>>25756322
I think the idea someone had about Dagger's mom being one of Shining's teachers before he met Cadence sounded a little better.
>>25756850
A human teacher in Equestria...huh. We really should have more of those. Maybe have Thistle's mom as a teacher, cause fuck if I know what she's doing. But I like it.
>>25756913
Always thought Thistle's mom was around Spike's age when she first came to Equestria, then after a few years they fuck and have a child.
It's either that or something involving /ss/
>>25757013
I figured Spike would age up around roughly in his late teens. Is Thistle's mom one of the monster hunters? I could see some SS going around with that.
"Hey, Ratchet?"
Rocket's question catches the boy off guard. Sparing a glance down at the mug of hot chocolate in his hands, he turns towards his twin. "What's up, Rock?"
A curious light sparks life into the boy's eyes as he grins. "You ever feel like you're being, y'know, watched? Like someone's about to spring something on you?"
"On occasion," Ratchet responds, sipping his cocoa. Watching as his brother pulls the quilt tighter around them both, he raises an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I'm kind of feeling it right now."
The twins do their best attempt at a shifty eyed glance around the room, but their hooded heads can only take in a small wedge of sight before everything turns to fluff and stitching. Trying not to appear too anxious, Ratchet clears his throat. "You're imagining things."
Of course the declaration did little to make the quiet boy feel any better; or make the hairs on the back of his neck go down. Despite his words, Rocket continues to glance about suspiciously, his breath becoming ever louder. Or perhaps it's just Ratchet becoming ever more aware of it.
Behind them, a floorboard creaks.
They turn and shout, still blinded by the blanket.
So does the shadowy form flying towards them.
"CUDDLE PUDDLE!" Fiddle squeals, diving in between the two boys, quite a feat in and of itself. Cups clatter loudly against the floor, one half of the Terrible Two giggling as she rolls about on the quilt and sighs, her frizzy hair springing out in every direction.
Ratchet stares blankly at his spilled cocoa, watching as it seeps into the floorboards while his brother pounces on Fiddle in response to her surprise attack, the sound of their laughter drowning out the quiet breaking of his heart. Nothing will ever be fine again.
At least until Faddle comes by with Pinkie and she gives them all more hot chocolate.
Just another day above Sugar Cube Corner.
>>25757710
This is comfy to the max. I remember these four getting development in another story that was just as cute.
>>25757710
More unorthodox friendships would be nice. Twilight hung out with the rest of the Mane Six even though she had nothing in common with them. Some complimentary/contrasting personalities for each would be a good base. Like Pogo and Alex, for example.
>>25757800
I live for the comfy
Checked.
>>25757931
Ratchet's general detachment is one of my favorite things about him. Putting him (and his brother) together with high energy girls is a recipe for success in my mind.
>>25757931
Who else would be unlikely friends?
>>25759160
Glimmer and Eventide
I'm still a bit tipsy, I'm listening to Christmas music, and I may just have another drink or two. Let's draw some holiday cheer.
>>25760693
Satyr is very unhappy to be stuck wearing the elf costume this year. Bonus points for a venomous glare towards 'Santa'
>>25760693
Requesting Icarus and Ambrosia kissing under the mistletoe.
>>25760693
Pogo as Santa and Mumble as a VERY annoyed elf/reindeer? Not the sexy kind either. The kind people laugh at in malls.
>>25760716
>>25760968
This pleases me.
>>25760693
Leaf got into the grown-up eggnog!
Oh nooo now she's takinng off all her clothes in front of all the
>>25760968
Very nice. If I can throw another one out there, Satyr curled up under the Christmas Tree.
>>25760968
Sexy santa Candy?
>>25760877
>>25761087
Mumble is not a happy camper... Someone get that girl some adult eggnog and her Flutterbitch.
>>25761150
He really is, isn't he?"Timber, I had a bad day."
>"Yeah? Anything I can do to help?"
"Get that sweet ass in bed and strip."
>"GWAH! ... *sniff sniff* have you been drinking?"
"Clothes off."
>"Mumble, I-"
"Strip..."
>"... Okay."
"That's right. Nice and slow."
>>25756293
http://imgur.com/gS6NjW0
this took way too fucking long holy shit
>>25761216
... Muh + Dick = dat pic
Bravo, /d/, bravo.
>>25761031
>>25761264
If that doesn't quietly whisper merry christmas so that she doesn't wake up, I don't know what does.
>>25761216
Thank you a hundred times over
Wassup guys, ready to feel or be feeled?
Gimme an hour or so and it'll be worth it!to wet your face with tears
>>25761370
You can't force feels, you butt.
>>25761379
Oh, is that a dare? DO you really want to go there, anon?
>>25761387
No, you actually can't. Feels need to come natural to the story, else they appear edgy, cheesy, stupid, or just deus ex let down.
>>25756293
>satyr is just a carbon copy of Lola Bunny from Space Jam because her mother's name is Babs and some anon wasn't creative enough to come up with something original so he just went with something related to Babs Bunny from Tiny Toons
Worst named satyr ever.
>>25760968
>Sombra Clause
I never knew I wanted this.
>>25761406
You need hope, Anon. Ofcourse you can't force emotion but good story telling and shit is what gets people, unless you're a emotionless gut.
>>25761444
Trips cannot lie. Shit.
>>25761444
I disagree, though I will check your digits. Worst named satyr is Allegra.
>literally sniffles medicine
>>25761514
http://www.behindthename.com/name/allegraMy grandmother's name is Allegra
>>25761207
I love it when Mumble drowns her problems in alcohol. Are there any other satyrs that are substance abusers when they're faced with problems(other than that dank weed)? Do they smoke? Drink too much coffe? Pop pills?
satyrs in rehab
>>25762929
Sex addicts, alcohol anonymous, and encounter groups for depressives
You just found out satyr is about to kill themselves. What do you say to prevent them from taking their life?
>>25763386
They are loved. They will be missed. If they go through with it, they will hurt people they do not want to.
>>25763401
But what if satyr says that it hurts to much to live and they just want the pain to stop?
>>25745034
Source?
>>25761444
Wrong! The worst named satyr is Wheelie. That right there is some uncreative shit.
And I like the name Lola. Who gives a crap where it came from? It sounds nice.
>>25763699
>Wrong! This is the worst one and I like the one you said is worst!
... The amount of stupidity in this one comment got me to do a triple take. It wasn't even the subject matter, just how it was handled. God damn.
>>25761264
Love you DJ.only a little homo
>>25763386
"Can we at least fuck before you kill yourself?"
>"NO! Why would you even ask me that? The world is pain, and I want out!"
"Go on, just a quickie?"
>"I SAID NO, DAMNIT!"
"Fine."
>"Now help me tie the noose"
"... I wonder if I could finish before you cool off..."
>"What?"
"Nothing!"
So who is, in your personal opinion, the worst satyr? And why?
>>25764349
The Spitfire Twins because of the Spitfire Twinfag never shutting up about them.
>>25764531
>Hating on someone that actually provides cute stories sometimes
>Thinking that satyrs who gets some development instead of being clones of their parent are the absolute worst in this general because someone likes them a lot
Are you fucking serious?
>>25764349
>>25764531
Ditto with drake twins tbqh
>>25764531
>>25764620
I'm sorry your satyr(s) don't get content, Anon. I know it's difficult to take ten, twenty minutes out of your day to manage a single piece of content. But they're waiting on you. And I believe in you.Also, your satyrs a shit.
>>25764643
>getting this assmad that people don't like your satyrs
way to lead by example
>>25764349
blare and other special snowflake satyrs like her. They are all doughnut steel OCs and based off nobody from the show. Hell I may as well make my own OC then.
>Edgy Mc Edgeton
>Is friends with benefits with all the royal sisters
>Is super stonk and a monsta Hunta
>Also is really edgy and does drugs and stuff, but real drugs like heroine and crack but ain't messed up by it because he's half alicorn and dragon
>>25764643
So we're you the one who asked the question just to shitpost anybody who answered it? Is this some new form of trolling?
>>25764657
>implying I'm not sincere
The only thing I don't like is seeing people make satyrs and not do anything with them.
It seems like a waste of golden opportunities.
I do believe that you could do more, and that you shouldn't be made to feel small.
Therefore I believe in you and what you could be capable of.
>>25764684
>I believe in you
is this some ironic form of trolling? first off, I'm not >>25764531
I was pointing out how you stooped to his level of shitflinging, thus not making a point and only seeming like a shitposter yourself
>>25764704
>ironic trolling
Why would it be? Content is content, no matter if it comes from you or the other guy, or even someone who's not responding at all. You're all capable people and bring unique perspectives.
And really, if it bothers someone that I take less than half an hour a day to write about things I enjoy, then they ought to be able to respond in kind. I've made it clear who I like and I'm really not inclined to stop just because it bothers a few people who could change the flow of the thread, if they so willed it.
People get out what they put in, and if they feel overwhelmed with me making one post of content in the evening, and possibly a few responses, then I'm not really sure what else can be done aside from one of us leaving. Which I'm certainly not.
>>25764675
Why would I ask something I already know the answer to? It's always the same bunch anyway whenever the question comes up (drakes, royalty, Timber, Utah, Darcy, my kids, cheat babies) so there's not really any point. It's also not really conducive for me to hate on satyrs seeing as I have my primary kids who I adore, but draw on a whole lot of the others in the stable, including those I dislike.
They're all hella cute after all.
>>25764817
>I've made it clear who I like and I'm really not inclined to stop just because it bothers a few people who could change the flow of the thread
False
>Rounding the corner on his way to his parent's private chambers, Radiance huffed in annoyance and tightly clenched his fists.
>His little sister had really done it this time.
>This was above and beyond the typical younger sibling crap she usually pulled on him
>The occasional tantrum he could put up with with a benign and detached smile, and he didn't even mind getting roped into playing tea party from time to time.
>This though?
>No, this was a step too far and he would simply not stand for it.
>Pushing open the large set of ornate double doors, the young prince stepped into his parents personal living accommodations.
"Mother, I-"
>He stopped mid sentence, the sight before him truly knocking him for six and leaving him speechless.
>Before him stood his mother, Princess Celestia, presenting herself with tail raised towards the open door and dressed in what Radiance could only assume to be a very sexualized interpretation of a school filly's uniform.
>Hearing her son's voice, Celestia spun around, her eyes wide and her face glowing with a fierce blush.
>"Oh, uh, sweetheart.... I... I wasn't expecting you."
>Radiance could only stutter out a string of half mumbled gibberish in an attempt to apologise for entering without knocking.
>When you're a prince you don't tend to need to knock when entering most places, but in this very moment Radiance decided that not doing so was a very bad habit that he really should try to get out of.
>Clearing her throat, Celestia did her best to assume the usual calm and collected demeanour that she wore in public.
>"Truth be told I was expecting your father. Lets leave it at that and never mention this again, hmm? Now, what was it that you wanted?"
>Radiance shook his head, seeming to partially snap out of his daze.
"Dawn, uh... Dawn used my political studies textbook as a colouring book and now it's ruined."
What's the worst thing [insert satyr here] has ever walked in on?
>>25764892
Nice of you to bring that up because it was that conversation (specifically pic related) that made it abundantly clear to me that I really shouldn't care how many people dislike them, or for whatever reason. I could jump through all the hoops laid out in front of me and it still wouldn't change the way they feel. So I changed things around.
Since I'm not leaving the thread, the only things I can encourage others to do is prop up the kids that thy like and make an effort not to discuss mine at length, both of which I have tried to do.
But I'm not going to stop writing about them. And I'm not going to stop encouraging you and others from making your own content for your own kids. Even if I don't like them.
>>25764817
I think that part of the problem is what some of the children have become.
>drakes
Mostly it's the Fizzle kids. They're badass monster hunters who fuck each other like rabbits. Blaire got hate for being an abusive cunt but the others seem fairly well received.
>royalty
People discussing interpretations from what I recall. Better than genuine shitposting.
>Timber
Mary Sue who was a wimpy kid to ripped as fuck and every girl wants to fuck despite being completely oblivious to it.
>Utah
Only one guy seems to talk about him. No one else seems to really care.
>Darcy
Flavor of the month who got her fifteen minutes of fame. I've described her as suffering from "perfect waifu syndrome," but she was never shitposted to death like Timber/Simmer.
>my kids
If I recall correctly, there are three people in this thread who consider the Spitfire kids their's, or whatever. Personally I don't much care for the twinsthough I totally get what you were trying to do with them early on.
>cheat babies
Personal thing there but they always make me uncomfortable. The notion of cheating is beyond me and if you put humans in Equestria earlier then it fucks with the timeline I've set up. So they don't really mesh well with my story.
But those are just my observations.
Is all the new art here gonna be uploaded to Derpibooru later?
Reminder to all Anons that hip and lumbar pain is the #1 medical complaint in satyrs, being especially common during puberty and adolescence. Be sure to schedule regular appointments for your sonfu or daughteru at your local GP so as to avoid the onset of otherwise preventable life-long medical conditions.
>>25765301
Are you gonna do it?
>>25765402
Me? No.
>>25765487
Then probably not
hey uh guys, is there a trick to naming satyrs?
>>25766019
Try to find something that fits with the pony theme wise.
Time Turner's kid is named Aeon, Celestia's are named Dawn and Radiance, Twilight's are named Glimmer and Orion, and so on. If you can justify it in a halfway decent manner people will go with it.
>>25766019
Only if you want there to be. I usually take a couple qualities of the equestrian parent and try to think of nicknames that might come out of that type of work/appearance/dream.
Some people use synonyms of the same parent, and other people do whatever they like.
>>25766019
I suggest that you post your name ideas and hear what others think about it so we don't end up with another Pollo/Wheelie rant, or at least think hard before you settle for a name.Wheelie is such a fucking stupid name.
>>25766292
It's better than Pollo.Not him but I ended up jotting down all the Satyrs I've created in my head and it turns out I have 18 of the bastards, including a few second generation ones. I really need to get a life or start writing seriously.
>>25766292
well its a dude, and its not related to a canon pone. thats why i only asked if there was a trick.
>>25766322
So who is the patent then?
>>25766353
A guard guy. so something guardy.
>>25766361
Potential names from the top of my head:
Scabbard
Aegis
Cross Guard
Javelin
Tomahawk
Sabaton
Pauldron
>>25766317
>It's better than Pollo.
That's your opinion.I prefer Ves.All this shit about her name makes me wonder if there are some artists or writers here who refuses to use Scootaloo's kid in their work because they think her current name in the name list is ridiculous.
>>25766391
these are good, thanks friend. would it help if gave you a personality/ general description or something i dont really want to distract the thread with my autism though.
>>25766418
We're all autistic here. Just go ahead.
>>25766418
There isn't much going on right now, so I don't think you'd be distracting anyone.
>>25766418
It could narrow some stuff down. Even saying what race he is would help some (I can see a Pegasus guard naming their kid Javelin but not an Earth Pony).
>>25765090
Never liked that fetish shit head canon. We actually could use some more "villainous" satyrs.
I liked it better when they were rarely discussed and it usually involved actual royal shit instead of "keeping the bloodline purrr."
Anime. You either like it or loath it, and considering this is /mlp/, I'ma guess most people loath it.
I think he's okay. Kinda like a background satyr who got some fame, like Lyra.
Can you imagine if she did? Imagine all the white knights trying to defend her then. Oh god, that'd be hilarious.
I can understand people referring to satyrs as "their kids", but would never say it out loud... Would feel dirty and autistic.
Oh my god, yes. Thank you. I thought I was the only one not okay with these clear results of kekolding. I'm actually starting to like the idea of magic hooman rp between the married couples, but still feels a bit cringey.
>>25766292
>>25766317
>>25766403
All of these are opinions.And that's a dumb reason. Very dumb. Like throwing away your plate and putting your scraps in the sink dumb.
>>25766499
>We actually could use some more "villainous" satyrs.
You mean like objectively evil Satyrs or more morally gray ones? I have in mind one that's the latter but I've got a lot of stuff to work on regarding him and the world before I feel comfortable really bringing him out.
>I can understand people referring to satyrs as "their kids", but would never say it out loud... Would feel dirty and autistic.
>Would feel dirty and autistic
>autistic
wheredoyouthinkweare.png
>I'm actually starting to like the idea of magic hooman rp between the married couples, but still feels a bit cringey.
I can see stuff like the Donkey Satyr (I can't remember her name to save my life) would be the result of artificial insemination. But Shortcake, Venus and Dagger is hard to justify in my mind unless it involves cūckoldery or an orgy, and both of those suck.
>>25766448
>>25766443
>>25766437
>"We're all autistic here."
>"Im not autistic"
>"Well you must be, else you wouldn't have come here"
well im thinking a punny, badass-adorable, glass cannon type rogue. His story is basically he's looking for his dad after he went missing, the rouge part coming from the fact that hes had to sneak about and be shady to get by.
>>25765090
But they don't fuck each other like rabbits, though. It's usually two, maybe three times a month if that because of surveillance. I thought Blare was okay. A bit abbrassive, but not abusive.
>>25766582
>Glass cannon
Does he have bravado out the ass, a boisterious laugh, and hair he cares way too much about?
>>25766605
No.
>>25766569
Or they were in a relationship with a human partner prior to canon. Shortcake, I could see the magic transformation potion happen. Deloras (donkey satyr) would actually be the product of artificial insemination.
>>25766610
maybe. meh.
>>25766582
So what If he's named Kris, but goes by Shank or Shiv because he thinks that sounds cooler/more badass?And the autism thing is a joke brah
>>25766596
>>25766620
... Cancer of the thread right here.
>>25766635
People who want all the satyrs and all the headcanons but none of the drama?
>>25766635
It really isn't my fault your foresight is so narrow.
>>25766596
Hide your headcanons about Simmer and Broil, lads! The "their love is pure and sincere and nothing can stop them from being together and having a relationship with each other" faggot is back to shit on all of it and make his own headcanon shine.
I sure hope he doesn't plan to go on for ten hours again on why Simmer and Broil should fuck each other whenever they can.
>>25766678
I've already got mine in my gun safe and my gun in my lap.
>>25766678
But I'm saying that they don't
>>25766629
I dunno. im not good at naming stuff.
>>25766582
>Looking for his dad who went missing
Hey, just like another certain satyr I know.RIP
>>25766782
How many satyrs' dads (or moms) have walked out on them? I know there's a few.
>>25766782
OP sure is late. How long has it been now? 3 weeks?
>>25766805
Too many.
>>25766805
Own personal head canon but
>Maverick is a bastard
>Mistake was dumpped on her father's doorstep when she was 5
>Kaos' mom is dead and Discord is raising her alone
>>25766805
Probably three at most. Ponies aren't that heartless
>>25766815
>"I'll be back on the weekend" he said. "I have a schedule now" he said...
>>25766629
May as well go all in if that's the case:
>"Who am I? I am the one who lurks in the night, who takes without care and disappears in a blink. I am the breeze that follows behind you on a still evening. I am the stink that wafts up from your gloves after you've been on the trail for a few weeks. I am, THE SHADOW! and now I am here to-"
>"Petard, time to go home."
>"MO~OM! I'M TRYING TO BE INTIMIDATING TO THE OTHER KIDS!"
>"That's nice, honey."
>"...Petard's a stupid name..."
>>25766932
how aboutfrisk? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q6sLjjSD9E
>>25766932
Pretty much what I had in mind.
>A petard was a small bomb used for blowing up gates and walls when breaching fortifications
Neat.
Though when the guy said "rogue," I imagined the D&D type.
>>25766815
>>25766839
I'm gonna guess that a ton of important stuff came upmaybe someone in his family died?, so we probably won't see him until after New Year.
If Pyrefly returns one day, then I really hope that he remembers to post that he's back in both this thread and the CYOA general 20 minutes or so before he resumes his quest.
>>25766985
I don't play video games, that means nothing to me other than bad times.
>>25767021
Well, he described him as a glass canon, so the explosive powerhouse part was a given, but also has to be handled with care. I don't know.
I just want his party members to find out and start calling him 'Pete' instead of THE SHADOW, or whatever he changes his moniker to as the weeks roll past.
>>25767049
How about Duncan? im thinking some kind of combination name between human and pone.
could, going with the punny trait make that part of like a shitty catch phrase
>Your party has won the turn!
>"Get Dunked on!"
>>25767037
I hope he'll be back. Curwhibbles is easily one of the best CYOAs.
>>25767076
That's good. Emery Errant sounded vaguley humanish and pony, so that could work for you.
>>25767037
I'm not saying nothing important came up. Just stop making promises if you can't keep them.
>>25767076
That's pretty great. It also works as a wonderfully terrible pickup line
>"Hey, why don't you come back to the Dunk Bunk?"
>>25767107
>>25767123
Okay so Duncan is now his first name. i like the idea of the shitty puns, that works to the character. now we need a pony name that begins with D for his last name, then his nickname can be DD.
