"Hey Sugarcoat, how come I always strike out with the ladies huh?"
>"Because you always go for the ones way out of your league and you have no game, it doesn't help that every fourth word is an 'uh'."
"Yeah but it's not fair, if I were a woman-"
>"Your self deprecating humor is a transparent facade to mask your insecurities ironically brought on by your loneliness."
"But-"
>"Then you go home and post on 4chan for hours claiming how much easier your life would be if you were a woman when all the while it's just an excuse because you're too lazy to go out and do anything with your life."
"But how.. How did you figure all of this out about me?"
>"I'm observant, also you forgot to delete your browsing history."
>This is Sugarcoat, your roomate who goes to Shadowbolt University.
>You're a bum rolling in the NEETBUX and striking out with women when you aren't shitposting on 4chan.
>Don't worry, you've already asked out Sugarcoat, she turned you down and said she wasn't interested.
>What a surprise right?
>You always go to vent to her, at least shes good for that.
>Even though she doesn't seem to pay much attention, it's about like screaming into a pillow.
>You'll never make it with her because of all the autism you've revealed about yourself, but it's nice to have someone to talk to.
>Even if you wouldn't technically call her a 'friend'.
>>25721482
>You stumble in flinging the door open.
"Dumb bitch wouldn't even kiss me!"
>You vomit all over the floor.
>"Nice, you're cleaning that up by the way."
>Sugarcoat snaps a photo of you with her phone.
"H-hey.. D-don't go.. Taking pictures."
>"How many was it this time?"
"4, 4 women, and they all, didn't want anything to do with me.. I tell em I get NEETBUX, and they think I'm a fuckin loser!"
>"I wonder why."
"Haha, you're sooo funny, you wouldn't know what it's like to be alone all the time. To be a man is the worst torture ever. Man if I was a woman all I'd have to do is spread my legs.."
>"So if you were a woman, you'd want to be a basic bitch?"
"H-hey, I didn't say that."
>She snickers at you.
"*hic* Well, I mean, maybe.."
>"You're pathetic, I'm seriously surprised you haven't killed yourself."
>>25721483
>Some time goes by, you're shitposting on your computer.
>Sugarcoat is on her bed across the room kicking her feet and playing on her laptop.
"So Sugarcoat, what sites are you browsing?"
>"I've got a few tabs open, facebook, reddit, pintrest."
>She browses Reddit, time to tell her what a pleb she is..
>You look over at her, violet eyes.
>Bare feet, socks laying on the floor, shoes off..
>That sweet curvature..
"Y-you're a pleb."
>"What?"
"I-it's like, you want to be a pleb or something. F-facebook, what a normie site.."
>"Is that a 4chan term? I've never heard anyone talk like that, ever, you should seriously stop."
>You intended to burn her, but..
>She fucking destroyed you..
>You really are a pathetic loser..
>A goddamn pathetic failure..
>Blabbing to your roomate who's probably hates your guts..
>>25721486
>Sugarcoat comes into the apartment, snow blowing against her back.
>She has a small tree under her arm as she closes it.
>Theres bits of snow on her fluffy little boots.
>She puts the tree in a corner taking out boxes of bulbs and lights.
>"Hey nerd, come help me set this up."
"O-ok.."
>You want to say no, after all why should you have to help her, what are you, her fucking slave?
>You grab a box.
>"I used to have Christmases like these with my family, I just wanted something festive like what we used to have back home."
>Like her family, what does she mean?
>You're pulling out these strings of lights.
>Is she, smiling at you?
>Nah, shes probably just mocking you in her head.
>You're such a fucking tool helping her like this, why are you such a beta loser?
>>25721489
>Its Christmas eve.
>The lights on the Christmas tree give the dark apartment a festive glow.
>But it's cold..
>And these blankets are shitty.
>All this time all by yourself..
>Sugarcoat is making something of herself..
>Meanwhile you're just a pathetic loser..
>A failure..
>No matter what you do, you can never find happiness.
>You just shitpost on 4chan, and follow this fucking cycle..
>You try sometimes to meet women, but they don't want anything to do with you..
>Theres a woman sleeping right in this room, and even she thinks you're fucking pathetic..
>It hurts so bad, you cry into your pillow.
>You try to cry quietly so she won't hear..
>She looks like shes asleep anyway..
>>25721493
>The smell, it smells, really good.
>Wait a fucking minute, are those..
>You open your eyes.
>A nice plate of gingerbread cookies.
>Sugarcoat in a sexy santa outfit with stockings and a little santa hat.
>Probably so she can post it on her Facebook.
>G-geez gross, what a slut..
>"Merry Christmas or whatever.."
>Shes looking at you.
"O-oh, M-merry Christmas.."
>You sit up on your bed rubbing your eyes.
>"You can have one of those cookies if you want, they're made from scratch."
>There is some serious detail, with little peppermints, sprinkles and frosting on these guys.
>You feel this sort of flushing in your cheeks as you grab one off the plate.
>You taste the warm soft cookie as it feels like it's dissolving into sweet bliss in your mouth.
>You frown looking at Sugarcoat..
>Fucking bitch is practically rubbing it in..
>It's like shes mocking you, torturing you with how much she'll never be yours..
>Wait what?
>Oh it's true.. You do like her, she's so honest, and cute..
>You're trying to tell yourself not to fall for it, but..
>"Aren't you going to check under the tree?"
>You look at her.
"There aren't-"
>You spot a little red gift under the tree.
>>25721498
>You walk over.
>You pick it up.
"Y-you, got me a gift?"
>She's watching you.
>You shake the box.
>It doesn't feel like theres much inside..
>It could be empty..
>Another fucking tease by Sugarcoat..
>Or it could be something shitty like a keychain, something that'll constantly remind you of her and torture you even more about her not being yours.
>You unwrap it opening the box.
>Theres just one small piece of paper inside.
>She just got you a card, is this a fucking joke?
>You sigh pulling out the piece of paper.
>Your eyes feel like they're about to fall out of your head.
>Written cutely in black sharpie,
>'Good for one round of sex'
>You look over at Sugarcoat, shes smiling at you.
>Your heart thumps as you hold the piece of paper.
"S-sugarcoat, I-i.."
>Your heart is thumping so hard it's messing with your vision as you rather autistically stumble toward her.
"Are you serious? You're not messing with me right?"
>"It expires in a week so you'd better use it soon."
"W-well wait a minute.."
>>25721502
>You look over her adorable slender body in her stockings and little santa outfit.
"C-can I.. Does this, come with cuddles, can we do that first?"
>She sighs.
>"I offer you free sex and you don't even jump at the chance. So you want cuddles instead?"
>She pats her bed beckoning you to sit there.
>You sit next to her and she leans her warm body against you.
"C-can't, I get both?"
>"Both? You're so greedy, but, it is Christmas.."
>She nuzzles her face into your arm.
"So, do you, like me?"
>"I always liked you, I was just making you feel insecure so you'd feel more inclined to stick with me."
>That manipulative bitch..
>But hnnng those purple eyes through those cute little glasses.
"Y-you're good.."
>She smiles.
>"I know."
Happy end.
>>25721482
bump
>>25721482
bump
>>25721506
I like this story. It was funny, cute, and hit a little too close to home. Thanks for the nice read.
>>25721506
Seriously? Happy end? She quite literally manipulated him and made this loser feel even worse. We see no inclination that she's interested in him, no buildup or chemistry, then "free sex"! You gotta be shitting me. I don't feel happy for Anon. Because he's now in a toxic relationship
>>25721753
>toxic relationshipAt least he's in one.
>>25721636
>>25721718
>>25721746
>>25721753
>>25721763By popular demand
>Its snowing hard outside in a picturesque white Christmas.
>You're snuggled next to her on the bed watching Christmas Specials drinking hot cocoa and eating the Gingerbread cookies she made.
>Snuggled under her warm plush blankets.
>You've never felt more happy or at ease.
>You'd do anything to keep this moment here, forever.
>The day fades and eventually the night comes.
"Hey Sugarcoat would it be ok if we slept together?"
>"Yeah, by the way, you smell much better since you showered, It was gross cuddling with you this morning."
"I.. Didn't really factor that in, but thanks for telling me I guess."
>You all too hastily climb into her bed.
>The room is dark only lit up by the Christmas tree.
>Mmm geez her bed is so much more comfy than yours.
"Hey, uh, Sugarcoat?"
>"What?"
"I want to thank you, for today. It meant a lot but.. I know I probably shouldn't say this but.."
>"You've vented to me before and you're going to wimp out now? I know that you've shit in the shower, pretty much nothing you're going to tell me is going to offend me at this point."
>Shes holding onto you.
>You sigh.
"Well, its just that, you manipulated me.."
>>25721944
>"Anon listen, you're a pathetic loser, you have no job, no plans to go to school, and you're just a mess. Even your hygiene is awful on most days."
>You wait.
>Shes still holding onto you sweetly.
>Still waiting..
"But?"
>"Theres no 'but', all of that is true."
"Oh.."
>"I know you've got a good heart, when you come home to me, and pour your heart out to me, and tell me how much you want a girl.. How much you're trying and you want things to get better.. Well, thats something I like about you. I heard you crying the other night when I pretended to be asleep. It was pretty sad.."
"Ah, so you, heard that?"
>"It's not hard to hear from across the room. Anyhow, if you want this to be more than a one time thing, you're going to need to put in more effort."
"Wait, what?"
>"If you don't want to change yourself, you can feel free to go back to your own bed after this. But if you're tired of being alone, and want someone who sincerely wants to help you, I'll be there for you."
>Her eyes say it all.
>She really does seem to mean it.
>Shes holding your hand now.
>>25721947
>It's so warm and cozy here..
>You're not a sellout though.
>I mean, you're not just going to change who you are for some girl right?
"What makes you so interested in me?"
>"Don't get me wrong, I've got friends, but most guys my age are fucking douchebags, and I do a lot of studying which eats up a lot of my time. So at the end of the day I come home alone the same as you."
"Wow thats-"
>"But don't get me wrong, I'm not desperate, if I wanted I could probably get another guy, but I'm willing to take a chance because for the most part, I already know you. With the amount of times you've come and talked to me, I feel like we've really connected, and I could tell you liked me.."
"So why would you play these head games? Why not just come out and say how you felt?"
>"I wasn't really sure about it, but with Christmas coming around, I really missed the feeling of having my family around, and, then it hit me, I'm really all alone out here. I guess that's what drove it home."
"So, it was less of a headgame, and more of you being indecisive?"
>"It was a little of both. I'd been thinking about it for a while, but I was on the fence about getting into a serious relationship until a few nights ago."
>She pulls off her glasses putting them on the nightstand.
>She nestles her head into your chest.
>You wrap your arms around her, she seems so happy.
"S-so, does this make us, boyfriend and girlfriend?"
>"Would I be snuggling you like this if you weren't? Of course we are."
>You feel this warmth in your chest.
>She's given a loser like you a chance..
>A complete loser, whos told her about every bit of autism and spaghetti..
>And shes still here, accepting you..
>You feel so grateful.Happy end??
>>25721953
Fuck, mang. Super happy. Like, "I felt a huge pang of happiness throughout my being" happy.
The thought of someone so dedicated to someone, despite all of his or her fallbacks, on the chance that he or she will improve is beautiful.
Thank you, Anon.
>>25721944
Okay this makes no sense. She just basically backtracked on everything she originally said, and gave this starlight Glimmer tier excuse afterwards.
>>25722108
How big of a cockgobbler can you be? He didn't write it terribly, but Sugarcoat's motivations are contradictory and half-assed now instead of evil and manipulating.
>>25722139
Let's just cut to the chase:
what do you even want?
Is there any possible outcome that would have satisfied you?
>>25722139
I agree that the motivation was Glimmer-tier. I just have a huge problem with projecting myself as Anon and use nice, comfy greentexts like this to escape from reality for a little bit. I don't have a particular desire to be in a relationship, but I love the romantic idea of one. Hence why the ridiculous explanation for what she did is so nice to me: it would almost never happen.
Now that you mention it, though, the prospect of a manipulative Sugarcoat controlling a meek, self-loathing Anon and their relationship seems like a really cool idea for a green. Watching her slowly gain control of every aspect of his life, Anon only realizing the situation he has put himself in when it's too late, and now he has to dig himself out of this hole; that would be a fun read.
>>25722198
Now that would be the shit. This was just ham-fisted.
>>25722168
Sometimes, anon, you just can't please a crowd.
And sometimes,you just write a bad character and ruin direction and flow. There's nearly no reasonable excuse for them being together, period. Not even a pity fuck, she would be a bitch to him until he gets away from her. Her role should have stayed as comedic humor to play the straight man against anon being a dumdum.
>>25722262
RIGGIDYREKT#
>>25722217
>>25722262
Such a negative reception, surely I thought I would have gotten a bit better.
Alas it's more of my work that's been too rushed.
I really shouldn't have to write a phonebooks worth of greentext to convey something nice or comfy..
"Ah but my subjective opinion states that your character should have behaved differently!"
Forgive me, I am only human.
>>25722286
Don't get me wrong, I've fucked up a story as well and it took me a minute to figure out why.
It's more that characters have different opportunities granted by willing suspension of disbelief. By starting her off as a stone cold bitch who
>You'll never make it with her because of all the autism you've revealed about yourself, but it's nice to have someone to talk to.
>Even if you wouldn't technically call her a 'friend'
It's not a desirable relationship after a point. that and the Anon of the story was not a likable fellow. He didn't have to be a stud, but he was a bit more underwhelming than a lot of real people.
Had I started a story with this premise, Sugarcoat would have had some negative traits beyond being a stone-cold straighttalker. Either bring her some humanity or give anon a little slack and give him some redeeming feature.
Yes, this idea about reasonable character expectations, opportunities and actions is subjective opinion. But it's far from a bad idea.
Just try again on a different prompt I suppose.
>>25722352
this this this. Anon, I'd love to discuss anything with you. You're so articulate, and it's refreshing.
>>25721506
i did not like that.
>>25722352
So basically, your argument is, losers never make it in life. Ergo Sugarcoat wouldn't even bother.
A true loser with pretty much no redeeming features.
Yeah, well don't I know it?
Anyhow, your advice seems sound. Ive got like 12 other fictions I'm working on right now, this one was just a crazy bout of inspiration.
>>25722641
You aren't the only one.
bump?
>>25721482
>>25721483
Alright OP, time for your daily dose.
