>"Anon!"
>"I-I swear, I-I d-don't know what that is..."
Twilight that's my dick
Don't worry Twilight,erotic fanfictionis nothing to be ashamed of
>>25700266
Goddammit, Anon, why is it always your dick. She KNOWS what a dick looks like; she's got a father, hasn't she?
This is fanfiction of me fucking your friends and you literally signed your name on it. Don't even try to play dumb desu senpai
Twilight, you can't hide this kind of thing from me.
Who gave you this, Twilight Sparkle?I won't STAND for this.
>>25700249
You know the full of what it is.
That's a cookie jar with ONE less cookie. And you happen to be standing next to the table littered with crumbs.
And is that chocolate chip on your lips?
>>25700453
>"I-Its not chocolate"
then what is on your lips?
>"uh--, I was eating ass"
...
>>25700778
>"Not again!"
>>25700249
Hey, Twilight? Where didyour wings go?
jej
>>25700778
OH yea? So you were eating ass huh?
So you won't mind if I take a little taste then huh?
>You approach twilight while licking your lips, she seems completely stuck in time, not fully acknowledging what's about to happen.
>You reach out and grab her into a tight hug, and press you lips to hers
>She moans as you take her chocolate lips and suckle on them.
>"a-anon, ohhhh, anonnn"
>That is until you smell something
Wait, OH FUCKING GOD, THAT ISNT CHOCOLATE
>"But, I told you, I was eating ass!"
>you vomit straight into twilight's mouth, who proceeds to vomit more shit and your own stomach contents onto your chest.
>The smell is horrifying, so you immediately try to distance yourself, but slip on the vomit and land face first onto the ground.
OH GOD, WHY! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! WHO FUCKING EATS SHIT! OH GOD *BLAARGH*
>Vomit and shit coats the entire room as you continue to gag and spit up bile
>"anon, i just wanted you to love me, so I ate the shit you left in the bowl, i thought thats what you wanted"
Thats my shit? OH FUCKING GOD NO.
>you vomit directly into her eyeballs and she starts screaming as the stomach acid burns her eyes
>"AHHH ANON WHY! WHY! I JUST WANTED YOU TO LIKE ME, I JUST WANTED TO *BLAAARRGH*
>Twilight vomits more shit into your throat as you scream
THIS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE *BLLALARRGGGH*
>Twilight passes out on top of you from sheer exhaustion. All you can feel is the chunky vomit and shit covering both of you. The last thing you remember hearing is spike scream at the top of his lungs.
>>25702310
>>25702310
holy shit my fucking sides
>>25702310
>not wanting to eat shit off twilight's face
What kind of normies are around here?
>>25702310
Haha, that purple nigga gonna have to clean this shit up.
>>25702310
don't you dare to stop you nerd
>>25700249
MAKE BETTER PROMPTS
>>25702310
The best.
h
e
b
e
s
t
.
>>25702310
continue you faglord!!!
>>25702994
Reasons?
>>25700287
Green, please?
>>25700778
kek
>>25702310
Family Guy did it/10
>>25703228
Yea they were the first people to ever do a vomit gag.
Their version was about using milk of magnesia, not literally eating excrement.
>>25702310
>Two days later
>Neither you or twilight has made an attempt to speak to one another.
>The memories of that day are still too fresh in your mind
>You cringe externally, dropping your quill onto the parchment strewn across your desk.
>You glance upon the half finished letter that lies before you.
>The memories flood back as you stand up from your work. There was no way you were going to finish this now. You were just too distracted.
>The smell of that day still permeates from you, even though you've scrubbed so hard your skin is chafed.
>All you remember is waking up outside the treebrary, spike pleading with while paramedics worked to revive you.
>You almost died from choking on vomit and shit, and you aren't even a rockstar. You can't decide whether to be proud or profoundly disappointed.
>By the time you came to, Twilight was already being loaded into an ambulance. All you saw was her head hung low and tears running down her vomit and excrement stained cheeks.
>The paramedics could barely breathe. Some of them were too weak to bear witness to the scene when they first arrived.
>Great, even more vomit to clean up afterwards
>You tried to vomit more but you could only produce a painful dry heave.
>When the paramedics arrived, you were so dehydrated that you immediately needed an IV. And a shower. Badly. But the latter wasn't something they could provide on short notice. The look in their eye as they finally loaded you into the ambulance spoke volumes.
>You still expect a bill from the hospital maintenance team any day now.
>>25703608
For some reason, this make me feel
>>25703608
>You sigh as you make your way over to the window.
>Look at them, all those ponies out there. None of them know the true horrors of wading around in a puddle of vomit and fecal matter. Well, maybe the plumber. But that doesn't count
>You look at your hands in the sunlight that shines through your window
>Your skin looks like you've just recovered from an acid burn. No amount of scrubbing could wash the memories from your mind.
>You might as well not even have fingernails anymore. You've cut them so short that its painful to even use your hands.
>Nonetheless, a letter to celestia must be written. From what you've heard, Royal guards arrived on the scene shortly after to assess damages and report back to Canterlot. What awaited them was the stuff of nightmares
>A trail of brown colored vomit lead into the foyer, just the beginning of the mess that became of twilight's library.
>Chairs and tables had been overturned in the rush to extract you two from the room.
>Books and important papers, once clean and smelling of ink and aged parchment, were littered with the poo. The poo was everywhere.
>The rug needed to be burned, the inner walls had to be stripped and painted over to seal away the smell. The poo and vomit had permeated the treehouse in ways not thought possible.
>No amount of magics could put an end to the incessant odors.
>The area was put under extended quarantine. An official narrative was manufactured to protect your reputations, but word spread fast around ponyville. You shudder to think what the rest of ponyville would think of you and twi now.
>Twilight. Your mind finally wanders to her again. You wonder what happened in the hospital. If she was ok. If she was holding up alright. As much as you'd like to never think of her again, the remorse in her face as they took her away was hard to process.
>Knowing twi, she was probably worried about you. She was always going out of her way to make sure you were accommodated and felt at home.
>>25703746
>Its possible this was truly a misunderstanding. You just couldn't believe that what happened was actually real.
>But why? Why would she think that was even REMOTELY acceptable. Where the fuck did she get the idea that you wanted ANYTHING to do with that
>The thought is too much to handle right now. That was something to deal with later.
>The matter at hand was finishing this letter to celestia, explaining yourself for this incident. You frankly had no idea where to start. Even after combing through the horrifically detailed report, you still have no semblance of what occured. It felt like you were the main star of some horrible greentext story that was prompted from a completely unrelated subject. But no, this was reality now.
>You forcefully push your palms into your forehead.
>Why was this so hard? What kind of fucked up situation is this? Why did you deserve this? You already had enough problems fitting in to this town and now this happened.
>But what of twilight? She had so much more to lose. So much reputation ruined for one stupid and horribly disgusting mistake.
>A part of you feels terrible for her.
>You try to think about her, the color of her soft fur, the pleasant smell of her flowing hair, the way her bangs fell upon her neck in just the right way. But soon the images turn to literal shit. The look of her discheveled vomit and shitstained fur. The putrid smell exhumed by her every pore. Her pretty eyes turn brown and pour out tears of vomit and shit. Out of her mouth shoots a torrent of fetid and unspeakable evils. She limps to you, crying your name, trying to grab at you with her filthy hooves. She tackles you to the ground, grasping for your neck as her cries ring in your ears
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>You wake up with your head on the desk, the half finished letter glued to your forehead from drool.
>Was it all a dream? No. It couldn't be. Something wasn't right about this though. Where did twi ever get the idea that you would enjoy that?
>>25700277
She's only had one daddeh until now
>>25703956
>Hours have passed since you first started writing the letter
>The sun was setting through your bay window now.
>The letter would remain unfinished for now, you had investigating to do.
>You put your coat on as you walk out your front door, remembering to lock it tightly. You don't want a repeat of last time. You don't feel like having another surprise party for something stupid like dropping a package off at the post office. Something tells you the lock wouldn't really stop it from happening either way. Fuckin pinkie.
>you stroll towards the center of town, trying to ignore the looks that most of the townsfolk are giving you. Looks like the whole damn town knows.
>Maybe you should move. But where would you even go? The guards in canterlot have surely brought the story back home. I'm sure its the talk of the town at the local watering holes.
>You finally reach twilight's library, attempting to ignore the thoughts pouring from the back of your mind.
>No, no more time for that. You're here for facts. You have to get to the bottom of this.
>>25704039
>Getting into the treehouse from an open window almost a story up was quite a challenge.
>Good thing spike didn't cut the vines near the balcony like he was supposed to.
>You make your way into the library apprehensively. You really don't want to, but you charge ahead.
>To your surprise, most of the smell is gone, of the mess that is. Powerful cleaning agents take over your senses. Its probably not too good to be in here very long. Time to get to work
>You comb over twilight's personal effects, looking for some sign, some omen.
>After going through her drawers and desks for quite awhile, you begin to lose hope. Maybe twilight was just a closet weirdo. This was a waste of time.
>Just as you are about to walk back out onto the balcony, something catches your eye. A corner of a lone piece of parchment stuck out from under twilights bed.
>You grab it and realize that its part of an even bigger stack deep under the bed. You only need to read a tiny bit before you realize what it is.
>Bingo.
>>25704129
>"Twilight? How are you feeling?"
>"Spike. I don't want to talk about it. I already told you how I feel today. Just... go. Please."
>"No way twi, I'm not going anywhere. I know you're embarrassed but we almost lost both of you, if you want me out, you'll have to use force."
>You sigh. You are now Shitlight Barfle, the laughing stock of the entire pony world.
>The doctors and nurses always speak around you with hushed whispers.
>You want to just crawl into a hole and die.
>Why would anon reject you? You really though that's what he wanted. You cringe when you remember the look on his face.
>You'll never live this down. You'll never get away from this.
>Its just too much to handle. You want to cry, but your eyes are so dry and there are no tears left to shed.
>What you're feeling is beyond words. To say you are embarrassed is an understatement.
>You hang your head low and stare at the cup of water spike poured for you.
>You sigh. "Oh spike, how could anon ever forgive me for this."
>"Twilight, you have to try to remain positive, anon will come around eventually. He's not the type to hold a grudge. Even if you did something that most in ponyville have even heard of"
>You glare at him with fury in your eyes
>"I mean, anon would never hate you, and I'm sure the town won't remember a thing this time next year, right?"
>Whatever, you're too depressed to care what spike things.
>Your eyes wander back to the cup. You take a sip and place it back down on the tray in front of you. The water sloshes from side to side as it begins to equalize, but for some reason it doesn't settle the way you would have imagined.
>You glance at spike to see if he sees the same thing.
>"Uhh, twi? Something wrong? Wait... whats that noise?"
>He was right, a strange vibration seemed to be rocking the hospital room.
>To your horror and surprise, the cup in front of you started jumping up and down of its own accord
>"Twilight! What the hell is happening, what's going on?!"
>Your eyes widen at the sudden sound.
>"SPIKKKKKKKKKKKE!!!!!!!!"
>An increasingly loud stomping noise could be heard throughout the hall.
>"Oh no! Twilight, you've got to hide me, quick! Anon's here! Cmon! Teleport me somewhere! ANYWHERE BUT HERE! PLEASE!"
>Spikes attempts at opening the window were in vain. They were sealed shut to prevent patients from escaping.
>The stomps get closer, distant yelling can be heard. "You can't go in there sir!" "Stop!" "Security! Call security!"
>The sounds of gurneys and wheelchairs being overturned echo down the hall.
>"SPIKE! WHERE ARE YOU? YOU LITTLE SHIT! I'M GONNA FUCKING SKIN YOU ALIVE AND WEAR YOU OVER MY DICK!"
>Suddenly it all makes sense. You glance over at spike. He's practically scared shitless (thank celestia). He gives you a pleading look as a smile forms on your face for the first time in 3 days.
>"Anon! He's in here!"
>The stomping hurries in pace until you feel the door slam open, almost ripping it off its hinges.
>Anon appears in the battered door frame with a stack of papers crushed in his hand.
>"Spike. SPIKE! GET THE FUCK OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED. GET OVER HERE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF"
>"Anon! Is that what i think it is?"
>He gives you a knowing glance before he turns his attention back to the horrified dragon.
>"Spike! What kind of fucked up stuff is this? Seriously! What the FUCK is wrong with you."
>"Twilight grabbed the shit from her asshole with her magic and stuffed it into anon's nostrils?" "He felt the warm shit invade his eardrums?" "She moaned as he took his poo and rubbed it onto her nubile body?" "She vomited the shit into a shotglass filled with vodka, lit a cigarette, shoved it up anons ass, and knocked it back with a grin on her face?"
>"What kind of FUCKING DEMENTED SHIT IS THIS? YOU WROTE THIS DIDN'T YOU? DIDN'T YOU?!
>"Anon! Its not what you think! I didn't mean to leave that stuff out! By the time I realized twilight had already taken it, it was too late! Please don't hurt me!"
Oh god spike what the fuck did you do.
>>25704526
>"So it is true! Those papers weren't anons. THEY WERE YOURS! Spike! JUST WHAT THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"
>"I'm sorry twilight! Ok!? Its who i am!" "WOULD YOU HAVE ME DENY MYSELF"
>"Writing fanfiction about Twilight and I shitting into each other's mouths is WHO YOU ARE?" "ARE YOU FUCKING MENTALLY ILL?" "YOU KNOW WHAT? I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER, FORGET IT"
>Sirens could be heard in the distance.
>Anon let himself fall onto your bed with a loud thump.
>"God fucking damn it. I just made this whole thing much worse haven't I, Twilight?
>You could only nod at him as you heard hurried hoofsteps in the hallway.
>"Would you ever forgive me anon?"
>He sighed as he brought his hand over to pet your ear"
>"Yea, I could. But it might take a bit to get over this whole thing"
>You smile at him, right before you see him get wrestled to the ground by a huge group of guards and police officers.
>>25704636
holy shit.pun intended
>>25704636
>One week later.
>You arrived home shaken but determined after you got home from the jailhouse. It seems like somebody posted bail, but you have no idea who.
>You stare at the unfinished letter on your desk. Looks like its finally time to put this whole ordeal behind you.
Dear princess celestia, this week I learned that sometimes misunderstandings happen between good friends. But you should never let that come between a friendship. I learned that its better to forgive to forget. And I also learned that sometimes, enslaving your best friend's dragon to make up for his sick fucked up fetishes gone wrong, is ok too.
Warm wishes, Anon.
>You glance up from your letter to see twilight smiling at you. The warmth from her at your side reminds you how close you've gotten over the last week. In fact, maybe a bit too close. Definitely too close.
>We're never going to speak of this again.
>"Spike? Get over here and send anon's letter"
>Spike crawled out from your fireplace, covered in soot and ash.
>"And make sure you clean each and every crevasse with your tongue. I want it to be spotless by the time I get home tonight"
>"Ready to go twi?"
>"Sure anon."
>"Remember, don't eat too many hayburgers or you might upset your stomach.
>"ANON!"
>"Sorry. Had to"
Fin.
What the fuck did I just write that for. I'm going to go rethink my life.
>>25704819
>What the fuck did I just write that for. I'm going to go rethink my life.
Yes please, do that for all of us
I just want a story where anon stumbles across weird fetishistic stories written by twilight about him and her friends.
Preferably non-shit based fetishes.
>>25704819
Good story though.
>>25704839
Trust me. I will
>>25704874
Thanks.
You all asked for it. So I delivered. I don't know how I feel about it though. I feel violated.
>>25704819
That was a ride from start to finish. Bravo, Anon.
>>25705000
Thank you based trips-san
I realized that I completely changed tone from start to finish. (and formatting)
I'm still sitting here wondering what the fuck possessed me to write that
>>25705024
The story reminded me of the guy who wiped his ass with his friend's mom's bible.
What in the absolute hell did I read?
Why was it somewhat alright after that crazy ass opening?
>>25705103
Magic and poop jokes
I never expected that to turn into an actual story. It was quite a ride.
>>25702310
>>25700249
>"ANSWER ME, who taught you how to do this stuff?"
>>25705245
IT WAS MY TEACHER
>>25702310
Pastebin or cap?
>>25705245
It was you allright! I learned it from watching you!
>>25705350
I'm honored that someone would want to cap myshittystory. I actually wrote this while working, I've got some stuff to do now but I could make a pastebin later.
>>25705405
Fuck you carlos
>>25700249
Twilight, there's a Bad Dragon order confirmation page in your browser history. How can you use that giant horse dildo withoutsharing it with me?!
>>25705405
>writing this awful story while working
Holy shit, I'm employee of the year today.
>>25704526
Anyone else wondering if Spike is ribbed?
>>25705576
Spike. Ribbed for her pleasure.
