>"And with that, we conclude your orientation and introduction to Equestria, Anon. From here on, you are free to explore our land as you see fit."
>"Princess Luna and I both have a gift for you before you go. I give you this Royal Seal - present this to any pony and they should offer you whatever assistance - within reason - that you need, be it a hot meal or a comfortable bed for the night. Sister?"
>"Yes. I gift you this medallion - wear it around your neck, against the skin, and will help you discover what any pony is feeling. 'Twill only work for one who does not know the effect of the medallion, however!"
>"So there you go, Anonymous. The royal chariot is available to take you one way to any location you desire."
>>25627034
>messes with chariot
>chariot runs both princesses over
>Proceeds to expand Celestia's cunt as it drives straight into it
>>25627034
Can I fuck Nightmare Moon?
>>25627034
>gets into chariot
Um yeah, take me to my car. It's parked around the other side of the castle.
>Are you sure there's nowhere else you would like to go? I could take you to the grand Crystal Empire, or explore Manehattan, or-
Nope, I'm all set. Thanks.
>>25627034
Straight male. Lets go
>>25627034
>"..Mom, this isn't a medallion, it's a coaster you put glitter on and tied a string to."
>'YOU NEED TO GO OUTSIDE, ANONYMOUS.'
Take me to Robot Pirate Island!
I wanna arm wrestle with cowboys! On the moon!
>>25627034
I have no idea what good have I ever done to deserve your kindness, but I'm not going to be a fool now and refuse your gifts, so I accept them and thank you both with my whole heart.
Now, without any further ado, I bid you adieu, my princesses. I am going to explore the unexplored, the lands, hills and valleys, deserts and forests, and mines and caves, should you know the meaning of my words.
>>25627034
Why does the medallion look like a yellow sonic?
>>25627034
Take meto Church
>>25627034
"Brinsess Celestia- I want you to take me to...The Zone."
>>25627034
>And then Anon used the medallions in Las Pegasus to cheat at card games and make a shitload of money.
>Until he was discovered by gangsters and got his dick cut off.
Thank you your majesties for these gifts. i shall use them well.
>Prepares for raping time.
>>25627339
Here he is!
>>25627034
What is Luna's gift?
>>25628126
the medallion
>>25627034
Take me to 4chan
>>25628259
Celestia says she and Luna BOTH have a gift for me.
> "I gift you this medallion."
Celestia's gift is the Medallion.
Where the fuck is Luna?
>>25628571
>"Princess Luna and I both have a gift for you before you go. I give you this Royal Seal - present this to any pony and they should offer you whatever assistance - within reason - that you need, be it a hot meal or a comfortable bed for the night. Sister?"
>"I give you this Royal Seal"
>"Royal seal"
>>25628571
Celestia gifts the Seal, then turns the conversation over to Luna, who gifts the Medallion
reading comprehension
>>25627034
So... how do ponies feel about Anon as he struts around Equestria?
>>25628839
They're wondering why his medallion says "RETARD" on it.
>>25628594
>>25628715
>"W-why are you giving me a fucking seal? I don't have a fucking beach in my backyard for this thing."
>>25627034
Damn OP, I really, really like this prompt. Can't do it right now unfortunately. If the thread dies and no green is provided for you man, start another thread next monday. I'll be there.
>>25627339
I got that reference
>>25628888
>Anon makes his way slowly to the lonely cottage in the forest, hauling the 500 pound beast on a leash behind him as best he can.
>Knock knock
>The door opens, a confused pony peering out.
"The seal says you gotta give me a hot meal."
>"ORK ORK ORK!" the seal agrees.
>SLAM!
>>25627034
How does Luna expect that medallion to protect anyone? Is she counting on Anon's empathy and compassion?
>>25627265
You make me laugh.
>>25628715
My bad. I didn't read very closely.
In that case, Luna's gift is the Medallion. There should still be two gifts. Where is Celestia's gift?
>>25630313
The fucking blubbering butler with ultra high authority. The seal with celestia's approval.
>>25627184
"But Fartlight Barkle is always lurking outside the castle...Just waiting"
>>25627265
>>25628868
The medallion is actually just a note pinned to his dirty shirt that says "Be kind to me! I have autism!"
>>25627034
>le everything is perfect meem
>>25630469
The thread quickly destroyed that you spastic.
Take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the beer is shitty.
>>25630218
>>25628888
>Celestia actually intended to give anon the royal seal (object conveying authority), but he didn't understand
>he went down to the royal zoo and handed over the royal seal (object conveying authority) for a seal (animal that eats fish) that happened to be owned for the royals
>on his first night with the seal, it ate the medallion
>the mind-reading seal must now struggle to keep its idiot master out of trouble
>>25630689
I want this
>>25627034
>knowing how they feel
>seal that can grant assistance within reason (or lack thereof)
So thinly veiled estrus thread?
>>25631088
Make the world you want to live in, anon.
>>25627076
this
>>25627034
"Thank you, but I'd rather not take from others just because you gave me permission to do so."
>anon take the two items and hands them back
"And I value my personal thoughts enough to not want to pry into others"
>and with that, he walked out of the castle and past the chariot, waving to the driver and tossing him a bit for his trouble.
>these shoes were made for walking...
>>25627034
>immediately take off medallion
>punch it up Sunhorse's ass
"There, how does that make all the ponies around here feel?"
>>25632280
Then Anon cemented his status as the ultimate bro to everyone.
>>25627265
God dammit Anon!
>>25627034
So I get to be a thane of your court? Do I get my very own housecarl?
>>25627548
>DO YOU FEEL THE NEED, ANNON?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58QOBqAWNzE
>>25632280
>Anon then tips his fedora and rides a wave of shit -exploding out his anus- into the sunset.
>>25630689
This, please.
>>25630689
>It's been two weeks (fourteen days) since you were gifted the royal seal.
>Little did you know the seal has mind reading powers.
>Who knew...
>No wonder he cried loudly at night when you fapped.
>Or when you looked at him wondering where to locate a seal plothole.
>But eventually he did speak up, well kind of beamed his thoughts to your head.
>Even since then he's been a right bro.
>Pulling the mares has never been easier.
>The hardest part is trying to explain why you brought a seal to the date.
>You hear Sealbro's thoughts in your head
>"Anon! please! stop it! my mind cant take it anymore!"
"I'm not doing anything!"
>"You thinking weird shit again Anon!"
>You watch the CMC pass on by.
>"Oh sweet Celestia! I'm going to vomit! you should be locked up!"
>You watch Sealbro head towards a royal guard.
>"ORK ORK ORK!"
>"*I tell you! he needs to be put away*"
>"ORK ORK ORK!"
>The guard stares at him blankly before looking up at you.
>"Oh hey Anon."
"Hey...errr..."
>"Ugh, Loyal Shield...I guarded you back at Canterlot Castle..."
"Oh right, sorry you all look the same."
>"ORK ORK ORK!"
>"No worries I'm used to it....Say I think your seal is trying to tell us something."
"Him? Oh he does that just ignore him."
>"Heh, reminds me of my old dog, he was always barking, I had to take him to the element of kindness to see what he was trying to tell me. Apparently Little Pip fell down a well or something. Couldn't make heads or tails of it."
>You see Sealbro glare at you.
>"HOLY BUCK! WELLS CANNOT BE A FETISH! BUT HERE YOU ARE! THINKING OF THIS SHIT! GUARD! GUARD! LISTEN TO ME!"
I want a sonic medallion.
>>25627034
>Opens portal
>1st Marine division comes in from vietnam
>Destroys pony land
>It ain't me start playing
>>25627034
"That's fine and all, but can I get a ride home? I think I left the stove on."
>>25634542
Even you can't handle that kind of autism.
It's for Chris and Chris only.
>>25630419
>"Ah, good morning Prince Anonymous, m'sir."
>>25634882
Fuck off Nerdlight Neverlaid
>>25630689
HILARITY AND HIJINX ENSUE THIS FALL ON TBS WHEN 'ANON & THE SEAL' BRING THEIR ONE OF A KIND ANTICS TO OUR MUST SEE LINE-UP!
>>25634085
Plz continue
>>25634085
My first order of business would be to avoid Lyra like she had the plague. Who knows how she'd feel seeing a human in Equestria
>>25627034
>I give you this Royal SEAL - present this to any pony and they will be wiped the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Equestria, mark my fucking words.
>>25632280
3eu4ic5me
>>25627034
bumb
>>25627034
>You leave
>The drivers/pullers/pilots of the chariot ask you where should they take you
>You say Ponyville
>The chariot takes off
>You're lifted and en route to Ponyville
>You enjoy the landscape for a few minutes
>"Hey"
>The medallion grew a fucking little mouth
>"Hey look at his face"
>The medallion also grew a pair of little arms
>It points one of them to the right pegasi
>"He seems kinda...."
>The medallion didn't grew a pair of eyes to look at you eagerly.
>Fortunately its tone and body language was enough to suggest you that it was expecting you to complete the sentence
"OHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTEHFUCK!"
>And you throw the medallion off the window - NOT.
>"Not quite...sad. Sad would be a possible answer."
>You mummify it with your tie.
>"Mmmmph!"
>Holy fruck. So much for helping you discover what ponies feel.
>You'll ask Twilight if you have to feed it 'cause going back so soon after that speech would be real awkward.
>Wait
>You take out the royal seal
>It grew an arm
>And a knife
>And it immediately jumped and positioned it below one of the drivers' neck while aggressively whispering things to his ear.
>Motherfucking princesses...
>>25634085
kek
>>25634085
I demand more.
>>25627034
i wanna go to the nickelback concert
>>25627034
you walk to that old white horse and say with a proud texan voice
>Thanks, m8. I'll be in one fine ol' pickle if I didn't have 'is 'ere Medalion
>The princess stares at you, but than she asks luna what you just said
>after storming off and luna apologizing to you via a note, you embark on your very texan journey
>The only problem, the damn chariot ain't a truck. so you seal it to some nice ol' gal named trixay or somethin'
>You use the left over bits, and mug some nigger. Using the new truck, you drive off to Ponyvill-eh
>You shoot a deer on the way, and notice some little ol' hippie in your way. her hair is pink, and that yellow coat is full of dust... you pray to jesus that you don't throw up
>You open your mouth
Ah ya dam hippie, get the got damn hell out of the road
>the medallion suddenly glows and a voice in your head tells you that she is in shock of that bitching head shot.
>you drive around her, and run over some weed shed or shit. Animal cries can be heard but you turn up the radio to play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf7GfUORHtw
>you hand the hippie a Confederate flag, even if her hoof's are shacking and her eyes have gone glass eye'd, and than do some purrty wheelies around her
>>25643285
>her hoof's are shacking
Please, Anon, this is not that sort of greentext.
>>25643129
I'm through with standing in lines to clubs I'll never get in
>>25641127
Underrated post.
>>25627076
I would like to think so.
Would you still like an adventure green on this OP?
>>25627265
At first I didn't get it. Then I got it.
>>25647723
Fug it, It's a legit prompt and not a half assed one. I'll make something outta this anyway.
>>25644847
>checking this thread again
>1 reply
Thx bro.
Saved my self-esteem
>>25627034
Princess Celestia looks so nice in that pic
>>25627265
lost hard.
>>25627638
Figuratively peed a little
>>25627034
STOP MANUFACTURING GENERALS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>25632790
>Here you go
>>25627034
Alright OP, Going to give it a shot.
> You flick your eyes back and forth between the mares.
> Hmm...
> You shakily take the gifts and pocket them in your pajamas.
> You had a rather rude awakening...
> Celestia beamed brightly, her warm smile basically lighting the entire room.
> Luna shared a smile as well, hers with less gusto.
> You felt a smile tug at the corners of your lips as you nodded to the girls.
"T-Thank you... even though we haven't known each other long girls I'm glad we could do this..."
> You play with the objects inside of your pockets.
"I promise to make you two proud..."
> You turn around and glance at the rigid guards.
> They were like statues...
"I'm ready."
> You turn to the two and wave one last time.
> The two guards at the door suddenly stepped to the handles and pulled them open.
> Blinding sunlight flooded in...
> Too think...
> Boom!
> You let out a yelp and leap over a log, ducking under some lower hanging branches.
> "After him! It's the Wanderer!"
> Que?
> Is that what they're calling you now?
> It's been so lon-
> Boom!
> An explosion of green to your right, followed by blue, purple, and yellow.
> The four colors seized all around you as you moved in a full sprint, barely avoiding the brunt of the thick shrubbery.
> Your overcoat flapped in the breeze behind you, a flurry of angry shouts and explosions filling the night sky.
> Speaking of which the moon was really prett-
> “He's got the artifact!”
> Oh right, this thing you were doing.
> Your shoes crunched the dry grass before you.
> A ball of yellow energy zipped right by your head.
> Suddenly...
> Boom!
> You let out another shout as you found yourself being propelled forward.
> The world became a blur of green and neon green as you threw your arms out.
> You slammed into the ground with a grunt.
> Pause...
> You should explain why you're here first...
>>25627265
Someone spoon feed me
>>25649087
Look up Chris chan
>>25649050
> You were an adventurer of sorts.
> It wasn't always like this, one moment you were sitting in your pajamas eating a bowl of rice crisps, the next you were suddenly in Celestia's chambers.
> She had helped you out..
> Fed you, helped you adjust to the crazy change.
> So you began to return the favor, picking up well...
> Oh wait, here comes some of the baddies now, their dialogue could explain things.
> The first order of business.
> You pick yourself up and shake your head clear.
> Hooves thundered all around you.
> You smile warmly.
"Hello boys."
> "Give it back." Someone from the multi-colored crowd growled.
> You pick yourself up and dust your suit and coat off.
"I've the faintest idea what you're talking about."
> "You know what it is."
> You reach into your coat and stick out your tongue.
> You suddenly pulled out a glowing blue orb, something akin to a crystal ball.
"This thing?"
> "Yes! Give it back!"
"Hmmm..."
> How to put this nicely.
"Nah."
> "What do you mean 'Nah?' You don't have an option here."
"I mean no, Nyet, Naddah."
> You shrug and pocket the orb once more.
"This is a special present for somebody close."
> "You-"
"Stop! Stop."
> You spin on your heel and scan the crowd.
> There had to be at least twenty of them surrounding you.
> So be it.
> You point to a young looking unicorn.
> Rather handsome fellow with a groomed quiff and a light purple coat.
"You there."
> You snap your fingers to catch his attention.
"Where are we?"
> You reach into your coat with a smile and pull out a small, leather booklet.
> Sort of morbid to have leather here so..
> You flip it open and point to the withered paper inside.
"I'd love to know."
> A feeling of annoyance quipped in the back of your mind.
> You were upsetting them, you would have to make this fast.
> The stallion relaxed slightly.
> "Uhhh... yeah, we're in the middle of the Ashy woods.”
“Closest town?”
> You heart hammered in your chest.
> One wrong move and it's over.
>>25649261
"Good, good."
> You flip the booklet close and pocket it once more.
> Many things in this world weren't as they seemed.
> One thing was back on earth, the show hardly captured the actual thrill of this world.
> Many, many dangerous things populated this place.
> As such you had to adapt.
> Especially when there were stuff like mad gods, Princess goddesses, and other crazy things like that running around.
> You adjust the pressure on your fore-head, pulling a pair of aviator-like goggles down over your face.
> So you adapted.
> You picked up as many whimsical, and crazy magical tools as you could on this planet.
> Where you lacked in raw power you made up for with little gadgets.
> You had also learned a thing or two about this world.
> And you used your brain above anything else.
> A green tint took your vision.
> You study the crowd slowly.
> Yup, twenty.
> Detailed readings appeared in your vision.
> Five Pegasi, Fourteen earth stallions, and one Unicorn.
> That was rather odd...
> "What are you doing?" Someone growled.
"Beating you all."
> This got a rise from the crowd.
> Whereas before they had been rather silent, they all shared a series of murmurs, laughter, or downright insults.
> An old earth-stallion stepped forward, a white beard over-taking basically any other slightly notable features.
> "And how are you going to do that?"
> You kneel down and scoop up the dirt.
> Multiple readings appeared in your sight.
> You pull up the soil and take a lick.
> You pull away and spit it out.
> Standing back up you dust your hands off.
"Yup... wet enough."
> The old stallion furrowed his bushy brows.
> "What are you-"
> You reach into your over-coat.
> So much stuff....
> With a grunt you pull out what was essentially a super-soaker the size of your torso.
> With another grunt you slam the heavy tool into the palm of your hand.
“Picked this baby up a month ago.”
>>25649412
> You lean down and scoop up some dirt.
"Watch this."
> You pop open the lid of the soaker and scoop up some soil.
> You cup your hand and pour it into the soakers awaiting cap.
> "Is he mad?"
> "What is he doing?"
> "I'm pretty sure he's autistic."
> Oh come on...
> That last one was just cheap.
> You just did your best to ignore them and continued scooping dirt into the soaker.
> It was like those movies where people would wait until last second to attack the hero.
> You glance around you, raising a brow.
"Well?"
> Another rise of murmurs.
> You roll your eyes and pop up.
> You begin to pump up the soaker with a look of annoyance.
"Oh for the love of-"
> You suddenly aim it down and pull the trigger.
> One of the pegasi surrounding you let out a yelp as a flurry of clumped soil slammed into his face.
> The stream had been so powerful it sent him flying backwards.
> You had no idea how this thing worked.
> All you knew about it was that as long as there was enough water in something, it could be fired from this thing.
> With rather surprising force.
> You roll the trail over three or four more stallions.
> Oh.
> You briefly jolt.
> Heavy aggression coming from your left.
> You whirl to your left, aiming the stream down.
> A charging earth stallions was taking down instantly.
> Okay.
> Time to one-up these fools.
> You trail the stream to another charging stallion.
"Hoh boy! Hit em' up~"
> "Stop him this instant!"
> Stop him this instant.
> That was cliche if you heard it.
"Nuh-uh honey!"
> You whirl around, the stream of soil following you.
> How much had you loaded into this thin-
> Oh.
> There it goes.
> You slap the soaker twice in an attempt to get it working again.
> You look back up at the ponies picking themselves back up.
"Heh...."
> You push the soaker back into your over-coat.
> Magic coats man...
> "What exactly was the point of that?"
> You pocket your hands and shrug.
"For fun..."
> You pull out a purple gem wrapped in silver wire.
>>25649623
"Now let me tell you how we say goodbye on Ear-"
>*GAZZZAP*
>The general's pupils shrink when a giant flash of light makes his way thorugh the human's head
>"WHAT DID YOU DO?"
>>"He was showing off too much."
>>25649672
Funny you should mention that actually.
>>25649623
> Closest town huh?
> Time for a brief flashback.
> 'Hey mate? Where's that closest town man?'
> The stallion flicked his eyes between you and the others.
> Your heart hammered in your chest.
> One wrong move and it was over.
> You tap the paper.
> And he began to blink rapidly in a seemingly random series of blinks.
> Well, random to everyone except for you.
> You had learned two things, one recently.
> You learned morse.
> And you learned that this seal could also do a little more if you focus hard enough.
> P-O-N-Y-V-I-L-L-E
> You smile.
"Good, good."
> Back to reality man.
> You shoot them one last wry smile.
> Realistically this would hurt like hell.
> You throw the gem to the ground.
> A purple flash overtook your vision with a bang.
> ….
“Uhhhhg….”
> You shift in your spot.
> First you noticed two things.
> One was you were currently hanging from a tree… upside-down.
> And the second was the heavy feeling nausea in your stomach.
“Bruh...”
> You suddenly heaved, a warm liquid spilling from your throat and over your face.
> 'Now matter how much we come close to winning it looks like things go to shit in the end,'
“Shut ittt...”
> 'That was mighty' graceful of ya' heaving all over ya'self like a baby.'
“SHUT IT.”
> 'Just sayin… don't act cool when we're not.'
> Uhg…
> You reach up to free yourself.
> Yeah it was true…
> Things weren't as cool and glamorous in this life of adventure as you thou-
> Snap!
> You let out a shout as you fall from the tree and slam into the ground.
“Uhhhhgggg….”
> You pick yourself up and stumble to your feet.
> Okay…
> Where was the nearest pond?
> This vomit was going to dry soon and that wouldn't be fun…
> ….
> It wasn't fun now but whatever...
>>25649727
Damn I'm liking this. Got a pastebin?
>>25649808
I do, but it's fairly new. The last story I worked on I had run out of free time to finish and the thread's dead so.It was also taken by a wave of krautposters
>>25649727
"I try and be badass for a day..."
> 'Tryhard~'
> You roll your eyes.
> Push down those thoughts of negativity, they tended to slow things down.
> A lot...
> You mutter to yourself and sigh.
> Couldn't wipe the vomit away, you actually liked this coat.
> But still...
> You look back and forth.
> You seemed to be in an apple orchard, rows and rows of trees lining the area.
> Eh...
> From what you had remembered Canterlot wasn't too far from Ponyville so there was that.
> You look behind you, being greeted by another row of trees.
> Too bad you weren't able to pinpoint exact locations or anything...
> You were probably thinking you could.
> You can't.
> You wish you could but you can't.
> Instead you pull the goggles down and look around, examining the area.
> The only reading the came up was one-hundred percent apple.
> You pull the goggles from your face and glare at them.
"What rubbish is that?"
> Yeesh...
> This would be a long walk, especially with this vomit on your face.
> You reach into the coat and search around.
> After a minute or so of digging you pull out a black twelve inch flashlight.
> It had to be black.
> With a click a circle of light flooded the area and trees around it.
> Where to start…
> You tap your chin as you washed the light over the area.
> Okay, first was first.
> Take care of this vomit on your face.
> and go back to Canterlot.
> Seriously, it was like right there.
> If it wasn't for this vomit you would just walk there.
> You begin to head down the dusty trail.
> Welp…
> Might as well…
“Walking down a dusty old road...”
>>25649727
Thank god it wasn't real.
Too much anime-dram-cliche for me.
>>25649948
> What had it been?
> Hours? Days? Years?
> 'None of those. It's been five minutes.'
> Ah...
> You whistle a jaunty tune to yourself as you sweep the flashlight back and forth across the treetops.
> This was the boring part.
> You suddenly interrupt your own tune.
"Fixed now?"
> You pull the goggles back over your face.
> One-hundred percent apple.
"Uhg..."
> You flip them back up and pocket one hand.
> You aim the flashlight with the other.
> The vomit was already dryi-
> You pull a packet of wet napkins from your pocket.
> You had forgotten about them among the clutter in there.
> ....
> You sigh and open it up.
> There...
> You toss the used napkins behind you, stacking it in a pile of others.
> Your face was clean and felt fresh now.
"It's a win, win."
> You yawn and fan a hand in front of your face.
> You needed to get back to can-
> Woah!
> That was interesting.
> You shine the light a good few feet in front of you, a farmhouse being dully illuminated by the light.
> lol, that place was a dump.
> You would squat there until tomorrow morning and then it was off to see the girls you go.
> You click the light off.
> The silhouette of the house stood on the horizon.
> You felt like you were missing something.
> Something you would feel shame about later...
> You begin to head towards the house, tapping your chin thoughtfully.
> What were you forgetting?
> It was something about this field, something important.
> Oh well.
> It wasn't long before you found yourself at the farmhouses porch.
> You rattle the door lightly.
> Nothing.
> Locked.
"Hmmm...."
> Crash!
> You clear away the broken glass with a smile on your face.
"As Confucius said...."
> You scratch your head.
> You don't know what he said.
> You shrug and hop through the window with a grunt.
> Things seemed to be going smoothly.
> You reach into your coat and pull the flashlight back out.
> Silently you click it back on.
> A withered, green mare met your light.
>Royal Seal
>>25649727
> You reel back, jumping in your spot.
> The light fumbled from your grasp.
> You hiss a bunch of curses and scramble to grab it.
> It slipped again.
"Come here!"
> Once more.
"Shit!"
> Finally it flipped from your hand and slammed into the ground.
> A loud thud rung throughout the still air as you went rigid.
> ....
> A loud snore was your only response.
> Huh...
"Really?" You whisper.
> "Huh! Wuzzat! Who's there!?"
> ...
> Suddenly a pair of old, golden eyes focused on you.
> The mares eyes widened and she let out a shriek.
> Christ your ears!
> "Applejack! Big Mac! Help yer granny out!"
> Lights flicked on all around the house.
> Oh, so breaking in and your constant yammering they don't hear.
> But this they fucking do?
> What sense did that make?
> Oh wait, that one girl was screaming.
> What was it now?
> "Somepony help! Rapist! He's here to ravage me in mah sleep!"
> ...
> You don't even bother to act like you weren't going to hurt anybody.
> You simply let your hands drop and whirled around.
"I'm out."
> "Oh somepony help!"
"Nope, I'm done."
> You leap through the broken window.
"I don't play that."
> Ba-thump.
> What was that?
> You turn around just in time to catch a red blur crashing through the wall.
> The force of what felt like a train crashed into your chest.
> The world flew outwards in a darkened blur.
> With a grunt your back crashed into the ground.
> You bounced and rolled to an already bruised stop.
> You let out a string of hitched curses as you rolled back and forth on the ground, clutching your abdomen.
> You roll onto your crushed stomach and pound the ground a couple of times, kicking your legs out like a child throwing a tantrum.
> You finally roll onto your back gasping for air.
> A large red stallion glared down at you silently.
> You could still hear the raving mare in the background, graphically talking about how you would do things to her.
> Unspeakable things…
>>25650391
Seems as if my time for the night is up. Uhh, to be honest I had no idea where I was going with this, I wanted something that seemed like it was edgelord from the beginning, but then just gets whimsical and funny afterwords, IF anybody wants to take the effort to keep the thread alive for this shitty story, then I'll gladly work on it sometime tomorrow.
>>25634566
Did you mean Fortunate Son?
do want more
>>25643285
>you walk to that old white horse and say with a proud texan voice
>>Thanks, m8.
