PREVIOUSLY ON THE CRIMES AGAINST NATURE PROGRAM
>>25536231
>What is this thread about?
Half human and half pony/other Equestrian species offspring.
>What are the rules?
There are no thread specific rules, do what you want.
>What is the continuity (world/characters/attributes)?
Whatever you want it to be. Everything is a variable, there are no absolutes. Characters, names, genders, personalities, relationships, backgrounds, writing style, genre. If you want to know the common headcanons of certain characters, read some stories or ask the thread.
Searchable Archive:
http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/search/?tags=satyr
Story by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/qFf46ep5
Author List:
http://pastebin.com/RFgtrECq
Satyrs by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/uBqbm6eq
Dropbox
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/d94jlx7pgl5gg34/AABM4w-okI70GyrbCsVNee9Ga?dl=0
Need some proofing done? Or want to throw ideas around?
Add one of the Skypes below!
[NEEDS UPDATING]
>>25561921
First for doomsaying.y u no bamp?
This is Bella's fault somehow.
>Generalized Questions For Satyrs:
>Are alicorn satyrs (and Pluma) immortal?
>Can drakes age to be hundreds of years old, if not a few thousand?
>Do changelings satyrs lay eggs? Are they dependent on love for food as well?
>Can pegasi satyrs molt?
>How powerful are unicorn satyrs relative to regular unicorns?
>Do diamond dog satyrs and sphinxes go into heat?
>>25562063
I'd like to think unicorn satyrs are like sorcerers to unicorn's wizards.
>>25562063
>No, they have a combination of eternal youth and longevity
>A few hundred years. They lack the eternal youth of Alicorns, but age is a lot kinder to them
>No on both. We don't even know how Changelings reproduce, and while Changeling Satyrs can eat normal food to survive love makes them healthier/feel better
>All Satyrs molt/shed to some extent. It's usually on their equine parts that it happens.
>It all depends. Some Unicorn Satyrs are strong and others weak. Really just a genetics/luck thing
>No. Satyrs ovulate like humans, but there are times when they want to fuck like an angry woman
>>25561953
Who?
>>25562363
The first satyr of /emo/.
Screw it, I'm doing this now.
Seeing as he's grown up in a world of plenty, I don't imagine Radiance would care much for the acquisition of money. Perhaps he just takes it for granted and it bores him.Some may say, however, that the more you have the more you want, and that would mean Radiance would desire to amass more and more personal wealth.
As for worldly power, I think he'd see it as being thrust upon him without him having much say in the matter. Thus, while he fulfils his duties to the best of his abilities, he has little love for them and finds little satisfaction in being in a position of authority. I also don't see him as wanting to be an inspiration to others. I think he'd dislike having others looking up to him as a role model, wanting instead to just be left alone to do his duty as best he can without needing to worry about whether or not he's setting a good example.
As far as fame and renown go, I think that while he'd like to believe that he'll be remembered as being a good and just ruler one day, he's unwilling to take any unnecessary risks for the sake of leaving his mark on the world. His desire for friendship is somewhat tarnished by the fact that he's never entirely certain if others are just trying to get close to him in an attempt to gain his favour and influence him for his power.
He does desire respect, wanting others to recognise the sacrifices he makes in the name of being a fair and just future ruler.
I can't be bothered to write any more.
>>25563797
>Da Booty is his highest desire
Kek
>>25564031
Well the way I see it, after a long day training with the guards, sparring with his dad and being taught by a myriad of private tutors, Radiance just wants to relax and spend some nice intimate alone time with either Mistake or that one Prench maid that he's always been so fond of.Protip: The maid is just Mistake in disguise.
I mean seeing as he's rich, powerful and pretty damn good looking, I imagine he isn't hard up to find willing partners to share some good old fashioned debauchery with.So great is his love of excess and the more carnal pleasures that he even got a Slaaneshi symbol tattooed on his scalp, hidden by his hair.
>>25564031
His sister's booty?
>>25564142
Fuck off
>>25564151
>>25564131
I thought Mistake couldn't shift in other species?
>>25564131
Radiance confirmed for being Equestria's version of Fulgrim.
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Fulgrim
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/FulgrimHe still has to pay Dawn a monthly bribe to keep her mouth shut about the time she walked in on him snorting a like of cocaine while his nipples were hooked up to a car battery and his horsecock was being serviced by a trio of identical twins.
He's a great guy really, so long as you remember to knock before walking into his room.
>>25564131
Your headcanon differs from mine, then, because I imagine that he never trains with the guards or spars with his dad, and that he really sucks at any sort of combat.
>>25564142
No, Dawn's too young and hasn't filled out yet. I sort of picture her being roughly seven years younger than her brother, while Selena is more or less the same age as him. I don't really acknowledge the existence of Sirius, but that's just because I don't know how to write him.
Also I sort of prefer the idea of Selena, Dawn and Radiance being half-siblings.
>>25564142
Well my headcanon for Dawn is that she's two years younger than her older brother and was convinced by Celestia that they should marry and continue the royal bloodline someday, so she tries to get in his pants early and comes on a bit too strong. Radiance hasn't done snything, but he has fapped to the thought of her before.
>>25564262
>I sort of prefer the idea of Selena, Dawn and Radiance being half-siblings
That's my headcanon as well.
>my headcanon for Dawn is that she's two years younger than her older brother and was convinced by Celestia that they should marry and continue the royal bloodline someday, so she tries to get in his pants early and comes on a bit too strong. Radiance hasn't done snything, but he has fapped to the thought of her before.
>>25564462
>and was convinced by Celestia that they should marry and continue the royal bloodline
And that was why Anon filed for a divorce.
>>25564509
>implying Anon ever married
>>25564509
He doesn't really divorce her, much less competes with her to make Dawn see sanity. It's an uphill battle but he believes he can snap her out of it before she does the do with him.
>>25564262
I pictured Selena about a year younger than Radiance, Sirius about three years younger than him, and then Dawn five years younger.They're born on the Summer/Winter Solstaces and the Autumn/Spring Equinoxes, respectively
As for Sirius I always saw him as the loner type. He usually does jobs around the castle that go unnoticed until they're not done. He's stick-up-your-ass serious about pretty much everything, which usually turns off most who would encounter him. He's not a bad guy per say, just really set in his ways and doesn't enjoy them disturbed.
I don't know who the fuck Sirius is, seriously? Has there even been any art of the guy?
>>25564719
Yes. He's Luna's satyr. He gets talked about, though not as much as Celestia's satyrs. We have about three pieces of art for him. He's not new.
>>25564509
... If only the faggots in here would let that Anon be a normie. If only.
>>25564719
Luna's dream autism son. Apparently she got dream pregnant and had a dream baby.
>>25564719
>>25564766
I've never heard of that, and it may be a prefered headcanon for someone, but I'd rather have him conceived normally.
>>25564754
Anon is whatever we want him to be, unless he's a self-insert. Either way, more power to ya.
>>25564212
>"Radiance, what are you doing? You're over an hour later for dinner and mother's furious. Radiance... you okay?"
"Dawn, help! I was coming to dinner but I caught sight of the most wondrous thing, like the very personification of perfection and majesty made manifest."
>Dawn glanced between her brother and the mirror into which he was staring.
>"That's just your reflection, idiot. Stop being so full of yourself and come eat your cold leftovers."
"I can't, don't you understand! I can't look away. Those eyes, that jawline, that nose... such transcendent beauty... it's like I'm looking into the face of god."
>"I can't believe you ever managed to get a girlfriend. I'd have thought you'd have just preferred to jack off to pictures of yourself all day."
"My skin. Has there ever been a person with skin more flawless than mine? Can it be that I ~AM~ god?"
>Rolling her eyes, Dawn made her way over to her brother's bed and snatched the sheet off of it before marching back to the mirror and casting the blanket over it.
>Radiance blinked, seemingly dumbfounded before a moment later clearing his throat.
"Uh... thanks, I guess. I'd have stood there staring until I passed out from dehydration if you hadn't come along."
God damn he's a handsome motherfucker.
>>25564719
I ask myself that question everytime someone mentions Sirius, and everytime I just answer myself that he does not exist.
>>25564749
>He's Luna's satyr. We have about three pieces of art for him.
He said while posting a pic of Nightmare Moon's kid.
>>25564826
For all intents amd purposes, that's a pic of Sirius. Says so on the dropbox.
>>25564826
Sirius is Equestria's one man version of the world's most secretive special forces. Nobody's sure if her even exists and his mother will neither confirm nor deny it.
>>25564856
>Says so on the dropbox.
And what does the picture itself say?
>Nightmare Moon satyr concept
>Nightmare Moon
The one in charge of the dropbox isn't exactly the smartest.No offence to the guy.
>>25564858
Wouldn't it be obvious to the castle servants and Celestia if she was pregnant?
>>25564926
All servants have had their memories wiped and Celestia isn't saying anything.
>>25564911
Then just take it as Sirius sperged out in his Nightmare Moon form, dang. It's not like they're two seperate people or it's implausible to make them the same guy.
>>25564953
Or you could just simply accept that the one in that pic is not Sirius at all. But then again, everything is a variable, so bitching and arguing about this is pointless.The only way to solve this forever is if the artist himself shows up and answers whether or not that might be Sirius.
>>25565008
Yeah, okay. I think you're making this way more complicated than it has to be, but it's not like I care and both can be simultaneously "right".
>>25565044
>I think you're making this way more complicated than it has to be
How, exactly? It's not like I'm the one who's saying that Nightmare Moon's kid is also Luna's kid.
>>25565103
Because nowhere in the show do we hear that Nightmare Moon is an entirely seperate entity. We always hear how it was Luna's jealousy and angst that festered inside of her, transforming her into Nightmare Moon. It's an evil persona of her transformed from her negative qualities, not someone else. Without Luna there is no Nighgmare Moon.
>>25565151
As much as I hate to say thisbecause someone will always start a rant/spoiler], the comics says otherwise.
>>25565187
So? Who cares? I don't have to take it as canon, it's not from the main branch of the show.
>>25565203
>So? Who cares?
The ones who doesn't believe that >>25564749 is Luna's kid?
>>25565304
Again, so? If they want to disregard the canonity of the show for the comics, that's their problem. The dropbox says it's Sirius, there's no seperate folder for Nightmare Moon satyrs, and they're the same person according to the show. If they want to create a whole 'nother headcanon for this one pic, then hey, nothing's stopping them.
How did Satyr's thanksgiving go?
>>25566662
The Apples do what they do every year. Get wasted to various degrees and argue about who's Hoofball team is better.
It's going to get worse once the young ones are able to finally drink.
>>25566662
The Spitfire family split time between the traditional Wonderbolt's Family Day Air Show and are currently out along the fringes of Ponyville territory. The stars are out in force, casting a cold glare across the sky. Ace is singing a story around the campfire while Poppa cooks the day's bounty, Hotshot watching the process intently. The twins are trying their hardest not to drift off to sleep as they rest their heads against his mother's side, wrapped up snugly in her wings.
The mouth of a stream burbles nearby and the still alert lakefish burst from the water with sporadic splashes. A sizable tent sits nearby, filled with thick blankets and sleeping bags, waiting to wrap the entire family in a snug embrace. Just another thing to be thankful for.
>>25566662
Icarus and Rainbow were playing some good 'ole hoofball.
>>25569295
I bet her horns come in handy when she's giving blowjobs
>>25569857
Has Hope ever had a threesome?
If each satyr had a television show about them, what would it be about?
>>25571302
SATYRS IS FILMED ON LOCATION
>>25572180
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEmyonfpsgI
>>25566662
Fluttershy went to go visit her family with Ivy while Flutterdad and his kids who eat meat had a big ol bird. Before the meat massacre, they stopped by the Apple farm, booked it before the drinky time was upon them, picked up some pies from Sugarcube Corner, and stopped by Zecora's to A) pick up some medicine and chow for Gizmo and B) drop off a pie for the family. All in all, was a good day. Sad Fluttershy always goes to her parent's for the day, but you can't force her to stay... That'd be a dick move.
>>25569889
No. She's had a onesome and a twosome though. Can you add them?
You catch your satyr kid playing with a Bad Dragon toy they ordered on the sly.
Which kid and which toy is it for you, and what do you do/say?
>>25573435
>Which kid and which toy?
Literally does not matter
>What do you say to them?
Nothing. Let them have their fun, divert friends and family, then when they are done we talk. Explain that alternative sexual satisfaction (toys) are perfectly normal and not to be ashamed of. Offer to get them lube/ky if they think it would help and only ask they keep it on the down low. Don't want their mom, brother(s), or sister(s) walking in on them. At worst, they berate and belittle them for it. At best, it is an awkward situation.
>>25566029
Pinkie's turn when
>>25574898
>That name
... They didn't
>>25574973
They did.
Hey, guys! I haven't added anything to this story in awhile, so I thought a short explanation is in order before I just dump the end in here out of nowhere.
I started writing this Eventide story with a clear ending in mind, and it was always supposed to have a happy ending (after a little trouble). Real life happened in a big way, and I'm not sure how much time I can spend on the thread anymore.
This story was important to me, though, and writing it and drafting it really helped me sort out myself after some problems in my own life. Because of that, it's sorta important to me to actually write out the end and post it. It shouldn't be too long, it just needs another edit. In the meantime, here's this.
Eventide turned the makeshift fan under the coal forge in the workshop, driving out a thin strand of flames around the screwdriver-like probe settled in it and bringing the metal's tip to a warm orange glow. Satisfied, she withdrew it from the fire and handed it back to her father, and turned her attention to his handiwork. He continued burning the digits '12' onto the surface of the thin wooden disk he'd cut from a tree branch earlier that morning. Eve turned her attention to the sobriety tokens Anon had retired to the wall, zero through eleven.
"These are all the same wood?" she asked, curiously, as she looked back to the first token. As her father had retired them month by month, he hung them up along the side wall of the shop, side by side above the working counter. Anon nodded affirmatively, finishing a serif off the tail of the '2', and taking a moment to contemplate any other ornamentation for his little one-year-sober trophy.
"Sure thing, scrub," he said. "Why do you ask?" Eventide leaned in and frowned at the first and second tokens, then straightened up and put her hands on her hips.
"These are darker," she explained, indicating the early ones with a wave of her hand. Anon smiled a little, then reached past her to put the metal probe back into the fire.
"Yeah," he said, with a slight edge to his casual tone. "That's patina." Eventide blinked, then looked to her father curiously.
"Skin oil and hand grime," he explained, as he moved past her to turn the fan a bit himself. "I would rub the face with my thumb when I wanted a drink." Eve kept looking at the tokens, thoughtful for a moment.
>>25575968
He completed the final disc in the set, the 13th token, marking a full year without a drink. He hung it on the wall in its proper place, and took a moment to admire the whole set. The '0' token was shaky and rough, showing in its wavy, uncertain lines that he was still drunk as he burned the numbers in place. After the third month, they began to take on some ornamentation, and at month 6 they started to become pretty.
The sound of the cover clanging into place over the forge startled Anon out of his retrospective reverie, and it took just one glance at Eve's eyes to know for certain what was on her mind. She always got those same eyes, excited but determined and competitive, when she had one more 'high score' of her father's to beat on her mind. He laughed to himself, and shook his head, soothed by the reminder that, regardless of what a broken person he thought himself to be, it was still his job to stand by a goal for his daughter to strive toward.
"Alright, scrub, alright," he said. He brought his hands toward his hips as if to face her and make a statement, but turned at the last moment and broke into an all-out run toward the archery range, calling over his shoulder, "LAST ONE THERE'S THE FLETCHING FETCHER!"
Eventide nearly knocked over the forge and half the work table as she scrambled to her hooves, damning herself for not anticipating her father's trick. Her voice was shrill with frustration as she yelled after him, calling back memories from better times, when being 'dad' was still the coolest thing anyone could ever be, and he could spend the day seeing the forest reflected in young Eventide's wide, innocent eyes.
"THAT'S CHEATING!!!"
>>25575822
And the board is moving like a bat out of hell!
>>25575871
>>25575968
>>25576024
Lovin' it going
>>25578142
>16 minutes later
>Page 8
We're on bump duty, people
Prompt Time! Satyr's working as a cart pusher at the local supermarket. Who do you think would be the best at it and why?Hardmode: They don't get to use the fancy electric cart pushers.
>>25579311
Icarus because he's speedy and I can see it as a low-level job for him.
>>25579311
Maverick would e the show off who got fired for hitting someone's wagon
Prism would beg to be a cashier again
Desirae would just be happy to be workingMinnie would be the best, flashing her brightest smiles as well.
>>25579780
I imagine his speed would let him be a good deliveryboy. Be it for the post or for pizza or something.
>>25579862
Flipped the pictures
>>25579862
>>25579873
That would be nice. His friends get pizza privelages and he gets the opportunity to act out bad porno movies
>>25579785
Kek, I could see all of this happening. Amelia probably has an internship or something instead of a traditional job for teens.
fuck I missed the last episode, how was it?
>>25581827
It was okay.
>>25581827
More of the same.Imagine EqG 2.0.
Really, back to using "=" again?
So why haven't we had any satyr stories that deal with finding magical artifacts in The Castle of the Two Sisters? Or ones that have an arch enemy like Daring Do and Ahuitzotl? It doesn't even have to be a canon species, it could be a weird creature from folktales. Aren't the Mane Six satyrs technically inheritors of the Elements of Harmony?
>>25582673
It's nothing bad, honestly.
>>25582937
Because all we do here is ship. That's all anyone wants except me.at least, that's how it feels sometimes.
>>25582967
Not all the time, if >>25576024 and >>25566662
and pic related can say anything about it.
>>25583187
>Timber
Shipping.
>Simmer
Shipping
>Shipping
...
>Traps
Ends in shipping.
>Incest
The result of shipping
>89% ship-based content
We may as well flood the thread, because we've traversed into the realm of the unsinkable.
>>25583266
Having a bad day, buddy?
>>25583283
No, just filling the necessary niche.
>>25573435
>Dingaling hums to herself as she taks away on the computer as Melody comes up "Ding?"
>"Yah?" She asks happily as Melody blushes a bit.
>"Can you look up if they sell massage kits for dragon tails? I wanna give Muddle a nice, relaxing tail massage for Christmas."
>"...Ok!" She smiles before quickly taking away "Found one!"
>"Oh, that was fast. Is it like Muddle's?"
>Ding squints at the screen and gives an unsure hum, "Not really, it's much more...veiny than his, and the tip is all wrong."
>"Oh, well I don't want to practice on the wrong one, can you find one that is?"
>"Ok." She shrugs before looking around, and silently clicking.
>Melody waits patiently with a smile before asking "So what kind of site is that?"
>"I don't know, guess it's some kind of health website like the one dad didn't let us go to in school, there are a LOT of peepees in here. But the have tails here too for some reason."
>"No horse tails?"
>"No, it seems to be just dragons. Oh, here's one, "Scorn the Wyvern" that kind of looks like his."
>"Oh great, they probably have it by breed. Can you order it?"
>"Sure, I still dads credit card saved on here. Want me to rush ship it?"
>"Oh could you? The more practice I get in the better."
>2 business days later
>Dingaling comes rushing up the steps excitedly holding a large red cock as she bursts in "Melody! Melody it's here!"
>"That was fast." Melody smiles "Well bring it here, I wanna feel it." She states as Ding jumps on the bed holding a small plastic bottle.
>"And look, massage oil." She smiles as the bottle clearly reads Lube.
>Downstairs, you find an open box on the living room floor as you pick it up.
" "Bad Dragon: Scorn the Wyvern.""
>You give a miffed snarl before walking to the hallway. Entering your room you look to Derpy.
"Derpy, I've told you a hundred times not to leave your opened bad dragon boxes out in the open."
>She looks to you confused "But I haven't ordered anything."
"...oh dear god."
>>25583741
>You rush up the steps and down the hall before opening the door to find Ding and Melody lubing a large red drake dildo on the bed as Ding smiles "Hi daddy! We're practicing for Muddle's gift." She innocently smiles as you vomit.
>Today was a you cut all your credit cards and threw the computer out the window kind of dayIn my HC tail massages are akin to back massages and a good stress relief for drakes as they usually can't reach their tails comfortably. If done well they knead like cats and lowly growl in enjoyment.
>>25580096
Nice. Chubby Yuzu a cute.
>>25583968
YOU'RE A CUTE! Ya faggot!
>>25583968
So who would be the one to tease Yuzu about having a bit of chub because she had a few too many mangos?I'm not saying girls with a bit of chub is a bad thing mind you.
>>25583187
>>25583266
I would make a chart, but the sites acting buggy. I think the satyr thread should be constructed like this:
>Family = 25%
>Feels = 15%
>Slice Of Life = 15%
>Comedy = 15%
>Action-Adventure = 15%
>Smut = 15%
>>25583741
>>25583807
This is a funny story and a cute headcanon.
>>25584525
>Mangos
Why.jpg
>>25584607
>Why.jpg
One of the few things I know about the Bat threads is that one of them has a thing for Mangos.
Though I don't get how you can get fat from eating fruit unless you binge on that shit.
>>25582967
>>25583187
>>25583266
Considering that shipping is essentially the very basis upon which these threads were founded in the first place, I don't really see the problem.
>>25584525
I always saw Hotshot as teasing the girl he currently has an eye for.
Though I always saw him as going after Earth Satyr girls myself, that's just me.
>>25585069
>I always saw Hotshot as teasing the girl he currently has an eye for
Ace?
>>25585069
>Hotshot/Yuzu otp wen?
>>25585136
It stems from his relationship with his sister. Just poke fun at her and laughor play pout/get madwhen she pokes fun at him.
He needs a girl with a good sense of humor.
>>25585136
>>25585188
If they're on the right side of the chart, that's a plus too.
>>25585215
I'd argue top right more specifically.He like shapely girls
Which satyr loves a good fight the most?
>>25585299
>Curwhibbles
RIP
>>25585411
We must have faith in Pyrefly. He'll be back when he's ready.
>>25585470
Sure, okay. Not like he left us waiting before
>>25585536
Yeah, exactly. He left us waiting before, and he always came back. He'll be back.
>>25585188
>>25585215
So Ambrosia?
>>25585299
Dawn.
>>25585611That's certainly an implication.
But really I don't have the original copy of that chart without the names on it. That might've been better, had I been able to use it.
>>25585643
Do you think she often playfully taunts her brother into fighting her for fun?
>>25585299
Cici, Dagger, or Alex
>>25585707
She hates her brother because he's all about diplomacy and all that shit their mother keeps preaching about.
>>25585751
I can definitely see Alex enjoying a good tussle.
So, are we allowed to headcanon what the little monsters are doing in various Bad End Equestria timelines or is that still a no-no since the episode just aired today?
>>25583968
drunken sketch time with DJ tonight?
>>25585299
Simmer and Broil like to fight monsters together, but they aren't into fighting other people. Their mom taught them not to fight ponies or satyrs unless they absolutely have to and without any major damage. You know, like that minotaur that pinned Simmer during that concert.
>>25586464
>>25586464
I say it's fair game. Wartorn satyr rebellion when? Princess Mistake when? Scorched earth Tirek apocalypse when?
>>25586550
>but they aren't into fighting other people
What about each other?
Not like a serious fight, but a friendly competitive fist fight until one of them surrenders or can't get up in a reasonable amount of time. Just for fun and practice.
>>25586536
Not for a while.With Christmas coming up, I don't have any booze money. Unless someone wants to take a commission.
>>25586720
Da link and rates? I'm interested
>>25586789I don't really have set rates and stuff, I just hear the request and come up with an estimate.Just send me a note on DA explaining (in great detail) what you want and I'll get back to you.http://dj-black-n-white.deviantart.com/
>>25586464
>Humans end up in Sombra's timeline
>Bring with them ideas from Earth
>Equestria proceeds to steamroll Sombra
>Humans end up in Nightmare Moon's timeline
"How are you guys even alive? Without the sun the world can't get heat, nor can crops grow."
>Banished to the moon
I don't have much else for the other timelines though.
>>25586671
Oh yeah, they spar with each other all the time. It's part of their training to see if both of them are in synch. Sometimes they use wooden swords. Sometimes it ends in good ole fisticuffs. Other times it ends in wrestling each other to the ground.
>>25587021
>Other times it ends in wrestling each other to the ground
>>25587304
It's supervised, mostly. So there's no funny business going on.But it does get them heated up from time to time. Especially with their training outfits.
>>25587021
I can't see Simmer as a fighter. He's too much of alovablewhimp.
Healer, yes. Mage, maybe. But not a brawler.
Broil? Maybe, yeah.
>>25585069
>>25585136
>>25585175
>>25585611
I'd be inclined to suggest Thorn as a possibility, knowing full well that might bring the wrath of the thread upon me.
>>25589184
Has Thron ever been shown to have an ounce of humor? Usually when a story mentions her I stop reading.
>>25589227
Nothing gut busting but I'm inclined to say she'd be top-tier straight girl though; incredibly dry in her delivery.
>>25588902
Well he's a wimp around people, yeah. He doesn't take as well to crowds like his sister, and had more trouble adjusting to Equestria than Broil. But he could fight monsters, he's comfortable with that. He doesn't have to worry about embarrasing himself, or his stuttering, or his looks when facing something that growls for communication and its only sign of displeasure is ripping mauling your body.
>Hotshot and Thorn
Shit bruv, if you want a cardboard cutout just go all in and say_Ivy_
>>25589374
Don't you meanUtah?
>>25589374
>cardboard cutout
Wait, which one is the cardboard cut out, or are you talking about the ship itself?
>>25589417
Yes.
>>25589390
Him too.
>>25589417
Hotshot isn't *that* much of a bland character. I liked the laugh he did in that last short with the Spitfire twins.
>>25589495
What about him is bland? While I have my own ideas for him, I don't really recall him being the star of the show (relatively speaking) like Ace has been.
>guys who don't have a stable of girls are flat
Okay.things were easier when they were the only satyr family in their Equestria.
>>25589557
I guess it's the fact that he hasn't gotten as much screentime as his sister, so we don't have a lot of material to gauge his personality or how he interacts with other satyrs.
>>25589751
No one said that. Muddle doesn't have a stable of girls, yet everyone can tell what he's a bit snarky, sarcastic jerk with a good heart. Hope doesn't have a partner and we all know that she's the bubbly optimistic satyr that carries the entire thread.
>>25589866
The biggest issue about him and other satyrs like him is that he is often not written interesting. He just kind of exists and nothing else. So he comes off as bland because nobody does anything interesting with him. And forgood reason, he's boring as fuck
>>25590008
>Not intersting because he isn't written often
>Doesn't want to write for him because he's uninteresting
Anon, that's circular logic.
>>25589866
>I guess it's the fact that he hasn't gotten as much screentime as his sister, so we don't have a lot of material to gauge his personality or how he interacts with other satyrs.
So for the same of discussion, here's my take:
Hotshot is an extremely friendly and outgoing half person horse. He barely has a malevolent bone in his body (he does like to irritate his sister every so often, though it's usually because he likes the reaction and not out of genuine spite). He's also talkative. Like "shut your fucking mouth," talkative. Usually this is what turns people off from him, or at least makes them have a tolerance threshold for him.
With being a motor mouth who doesn't think before he speaks, he sometimes says stuff that unintentionally hurts someone. When that's the case, he tries his damnedest to make amends. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
He's also somewhat impulsive, and has less self control than the average person. Combine that with his love for sweets and junk food, he has a bit of chub. Though he's not in danger of being overweight due to his parents drilling into his head to get out and exercise.
Though not as athletic as his sister, he does enjoy playing whatever sport people happen to be playing at the time (he doesn't really have a favorite. He enjoys them all). He also is a bit of a dork, enjoying comic books (capeshit), not Warhams, and the like. It's surprising that he's able to sit down and focus on that stuff because usually when someone tries to get him to stay still for extended periods of time he gets antsy.Rate me fagtrons
>>25589866
>halflings the thread avoids talking about
You're not really helping the case. And Muddle's still P.E.#1 in some folks eyes.
>>25590008
I get the feeling I should be rustled but I'm not.
>>25590175
People don't talk about Hope because of the reasons stated last thread, either they don't know what to write about that hasn't been done before, or they don't want to tarnish her perfect image. People probably don't talk about Muddle because people don't like drakes. The only reason Fizzle's children get discussion is because of annoying people who force them in every conversation. Like Exhibit A (>>25586550) and Exhibit B (>>25588902), and the shitposts that follow.
>>25590157
>Talkative
Icarus would probably hang out with him
>Likes Sweets
Pogo too, since he's the king of gab and works at Sugarcube Corner. Shortcake would talk him up whenever he visits during her shift.
>Impulsive
Almost all of the Wonderbolt satyrs are impulsive, so they'd get in a lot of competitions to one-up the other. I think Cider is as well, I'm not sure.
>Likes Comics
Thistle and Rory like comics as well.
>>25590413
>Icarus would probably hang out with him
Always swathe Bolts Satyrs as being fairly close, like their parents watch them for each other close.
>Pogo too, since he's the king of gab and works at Sugarcube Corner. Shortcake would talk him up whenever he visits during her shift.
Pogo is a Satyr I really saw Hotshot being friends with. Though I see them both as being fairly similair, almost to the point of being the same character. But that's a different discussion.
>Almost all of the Wonderbolt satyrs are impulsive, so they'd get in a lot of competitions to one-up the other. I think Cider is as well, I'm not sure.
The only Bolt Satyrs I saw as impulsive was Shot and maybe Maverick (Maverick's problem is he doesn't think stuff through).
>Thistle and Rory like comics as well.
Never really put those three together. I imagined Shot would also enjoy their version of D&D, so maybe they could all play some together.
>>25590788
>Having to babysit the satyr child of their former Wonderbolt superior
Oof. Talk about nerves. Rainbow or Lightning Dust would fight over the opportunity. Soarin or Fleetfoot are probably go too options, though. Thunderlane, Cloudchaser, and Flitter would most likely be emergency or back-up dials.
>>25591000
In my mind Lightning Dust often has someone look after Maverick when he's younger becausehe's a bastard child and she's a single mother. Dust got knocked up after a show and it hit her really hard to hear she was pregnant, what with giving up her dreams and all. She strongly considered adoption but abandoned that once Maverick was born, and couldn't make herself give him up. So she took a job with the Bolts where she didn't have to travel all the time so she could be close to him. Sure they butt heads a lot, but that's due to the fact that they're a lot alike. But they love each other dearly.
>>25591087
Oh I know, I've heard it before.I just like Amelia too much to buy into the headcanon.
>>25591166I know I've posted that probably half a dozen times now. I just like how it's kinda bittersweet. No idea why I chose Lightning Dust out of everyone. Guess I like the idea of her not being a psychopath and her having a motherly/nurturing side.
>>25591228
Nah, it's fine. I like her portrayed like that, other than someone that's pretty self-centered.
>>25585646
I FOUND THE CHART. Now if only we had the version for the males. Probably how much muscle they have and how big their peens are.
>>25589751
What does each satyr wear kn a daily basis, and why? What's their fashion sense?
>>25580096
I really want to see more chubby satyrs like this. Not morbidly fat or huge, just slightly chubby. It's cute.
>>25591532
With length and girth being the two axises?
>>25589184
Why would that bring the wrath of the thread upon you?
>>25589184
I once thought Thorn would be a nice ship for Hotshot, but then people started shipping her with Utah, and now Mudpie. Honestly, I still think it would be cute, but now it's placing second in my thoughts. (That Thorn/Mudpie ship is cute...)
>>25594874
>not even mentioning Thorn/Jay
Art confirmed for more important than stories.
>>25595780
There is art of them though.
>>25595824
They still didn't get mentioned. Thorn/Hotshot or Thorn/Mudpie have only been discussed.
>>25595837
Thorn/Mudpie has art. Thorn/Hotshot was just brought up this thread... I think
>>25595852
Point missed
I'm saying Thorn/Jay has story back-up
Thorn/Mudpie is just something someone forced after a cute pic of Thorn and Mudpie hanging out was drawn
>>25595863
>My ship is better than these ships
And no one who matters gives ANY fucks.
This current discussion reminds me of this picture.
>>25596162
>/mlp/
>The comic
>>25594874
Honestly, I've never even heard Mudpie and Utah as a ship before, and Thorn and Mudpie just seems like a ship forced from a picture. It's not like I'm justifying the Thorn x Jay ship, but atleast it has authenticity going for them since both of the characters are into music. Even the less viable ships like Presto x Melody have something to tie the characters together.
>>25596162
>whatever wiggles your dick
>Skeleton
>dick
Guess that's why they call it aboner
>>25597084
CARLOS
>Satyr goes into the basement to get a tool, but finds something else instead. Something shocking, unsettling, and utterly disturbing! >It's...it's...!
>>25586550
>You know, like that minotaur that pinned Simmer during that concert.
Except he really is an innocent wimp in that story?
Good grief, why does everyone suddenly make Simmer out to be the most perfect badass fighter for? To the point where people say that he's not actually a wimp in those early stories, but a strong bastard who just didn't want to fight!
Everything is a variable, except when it comes to Simmer. It seems to be set in stone that he's a fierce monster hunter who fucks his sister every day.
>>25598790
Well I always pegged Simmer and Broil as meek, socially awkward, and very close to one another. So after a while they do develop romantic feelings for the other out of a mix of social solitary confinement and sexual confusion. The whole le epik monsta hunter! Thing always bothered me.
But just another bitch penny in the bitch jar
>>25598354
Her brother's fetish porn collection?
So which Anons are normally written as single parents? Or doesn't anyone really do that?
>>25599220
Always imagined Mistake's dad being single, as I doubt anyone sane would want to spend their life with a super villain.
>>25598790
What? I never said that he was a perfect badass fighter. I said he deals with fighting monsters. That doesn't negate the fact that he's got social anxiety and doesn't know how to deal with crowds or people. And the fact that his mom has something to do with it is pretty much stated in that story as well, or atleast hinted. That particular story, mind you, I don't know vouch for anyone else's interpretation.
>>25598871
I mean, that's how I pegged it as well. Just imbued with a bit more fantasy. Other than that, yeah, it's pretty dead on.
>>25598790
>suddenly
Simmer is the perfect war woobie with a sweet streak as long as his kill list, always has been. Nevermind that he's ottermode.
>>25599220
Yuzu's dad, Venus' dad, Mistake's dad. maybe Blare's mom.. That's not a whole lot.
Maybe Hope's father could also count. I think there was a short story once where Lyra and Anon divorced. Could be wrong, though.
>>25598893
I don't think Asha has a brother, =.
>>25599450
>She doesn't have a brother
Yet*
>>25599478
No.
>>25599478
But she barely gets any development now.
Is the guy who keeps making a ton of satyr requests in a row in the draw threads a shitposter who tries to make everyone hate satyrs? Or someone who likes satyrs but keeps forgetting the draw thread's unwritten rule about how it's not cool to make a bunch of requests like that?
>>25599450
Nor does Zecora's hut have a basement as far as I know. I got the impression that the post wasn't referring to any specific satyr.
>>25599779
Dude, I honestly don't know, but that really grinds my gears. Whether or not he's doing it on accident or intentionally, it's a douche move to keep on doing that.
Satyrs are cool
>>25599779
I don't really know.
I do know one guy here used to do requests from basically every artist on DA who had MLP pics and commission information, but he always paid for them.
But there's at least one guy who bombs every thread (not just drawing) that isn't a general with "satyrs are shit" when he's online. Don't know why, maybe someone had sex with his waifu.
>>25600223
>But there's at least one guy who bombs every thread (not just drawing) that isn't a general with "satyrs are shit" when he's online.
Really?
>>25600297
He comes in here, says something like satyrs are shit, and then we get a bunch of people from other threads all popping in at once, telling us to contain it. I can only assume it's one guy, not a conspiracy
>>25598354
A spider nest.
>>25600005
>tfw they will never be real
>>25600005
Indeed.
"Our little girl's all grown up," said Anon. He ran his fingers through Sunset Shimmer's mane, as the two walked home from accompanying Eventide to her last day of school.
"No, she isn't," said the mare, with playful contention in her voice. "She still has to be in bed by eight, needs permission to have cookies, and better not have her door closed when boys are over." Anon laughed, and the pair walked on in quiet, taking in the day and thinking their own thoughts together.
". . . do you think I'm selfish, babe?" said Anon, thoughtfully, looking off into the distance. Sunset Shimmer shook her head, looking ahead down the sidewalk.
"No." Her tone was firm and certain. "No, Cadence's sidepiece was not right when he told you to 'fuck off back home'. Eve needs her dad." She glared at him half-playfully.
"Yes, you're a shitty drunk, hon," she said, voice softening. "But you're an amazing father, you're over a year sober, and you have no idea what she's like when you're gone. I do. I was there when you were 'lost forever', remember?" Shimmer let her eyes return to the horizon. Anon smiled a little, then sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I just wonder how she's going to solve her problems now," he said. "After seeing me . . . like that." Sunset Shimmer chuckled a little to herself, and perked up her ears, without looking back.
"If she's anything like her father," she said, "She'll do it by facing everyone she let down, accepting responsibility for her mistakes, and making a better person of herself." Anon smiled, a little taken aback. He wasn't really comfortable letting himself think of any consequences of his addiction, or its aftermath as 'positive'. It felt too much like 'getting away' with something.
She would know, though, he mused to himself. She just had the good luck of fucking up early enough that Eventide hadn't ever seen her . . . 'like that'.
>>25604675
"I dunno, babe," he said, putting on his best skeptical voice. "You don't really have context on this." Sunset Shimmer would have none of his shit today, though.
"Fuck you," she said, voice sweet and bubbly. She lifted up her chin and tail, and sped up in her very best prancing trot. Anon broke into a jog after her.
"But baby!" he cat. "I mean, yeah, you turned into a demon, you enslaved a school, but I said some very disparaging things about Alanis Morisette and you LOVED that album!" Shimmer turned her head, eyes closed as she trotted on down the sidewalk, calling out in a sing-songy tone back at her husband.
"Fuuuck Yooouuu-hooooooo~!"
>>25604695
* * *
Cheerilee smiled at the students as they entered, trying her best to contain her excitement. When the language teacher of the local high school fell ill just a week before the end of school, Cheerilee jumped at the chance to sub in and see off all those students. She set young colts and fillies on the beginning of their educational journey every day--it would be nice to see some of them reaching its end. She let them talk amongst themselves for the entirety of their last class, and just listened.
At the end of class, Eventide walked up to the desk, smiling at her teacher while the other students filed out of the room.
"Miss Cheerilee," she said, gesturing at the pile of essays, "I think I turned in the wrong paper." Cheerilee frowned, then tilted her head and looked down at the pile.
"Oh, no!" she said, sympathetically. "An academy admissions essay, perhaps? Here, let's..." She paused, then gestured with her hoof for Eve to go on, having learned by now to let the handed ones help. As Eventide pulled her essay, Cheerilee noticed the title, "The Most Important Lesson I've Learned". Before Cheerilee could open her mouth to comment that perhaps Eve hadn't mixed up her paper after all, the young lady produced another essay and dropped it into the pile. She smiled at her teacher, then hurried out of the classroom.
Cheerilee looked after Eventide curiously. Why would that young lady have two different essays? And why would she change her mind at the last minute, which one to turn in? Cheerilee picked up the paper, and began to read.
>>25604714
"The Most Important Lesson I've Learned (So Far)"
Before I was born, my mother did some not very cool things in another world. But ever since I can remember, she was the nicest, most wonderful lady you could ever hope to meet. She was my mom! I couldn't understand why Twilight didn't just forgive her. I understood how bad things were when she 'turned bad', but I had forgiven her before I even knew, because nothing bad had happened to me.
When Glimmer and I brought my father back from the human world, he'd become an alcoholic. It was a very bad time. It was very hurtful to be around him. I got numb inside, because it didn't hurt as much to see him drink if he was just some poor man, and not my dad. It didn't make the slamming or the yelling any quieter, but it helped me not care so much, I guess.
After he stopped drinking, I wasn't angry at him. I just didn't really care. I resented him, though, and I guess I hated him a little. The worst part was, that I saw everyone around me forgiving him, and I didn't want to. And that was confusing, because I forgave my mom for being a monster when I couldn't see her. Why couldn't I forgive my dad, just because he was a monster I COULD see?
>>25604731
When dad quit drinking, nobody around us expected much good from him. It was very hard, all the looks and whispers for awhile when we would go out. I remember that he would get home, and just fall into a chair and rub his face with his hands. Eventually, no matter how mad at him I was, I started to feel like he had suffered enough. I understood that things can't really be like they were before, not ever. But I love my dad, and he'll always be a part of my life.
I understand better why Twilight took so long to forgive my mom. And I decided to forgive my dad. I think the most important lesson I've learned, is that no matter how far down the wrong path you go, you can always always come back. I think I'm going to make some mistakes in my life. And I'm going to figure out how to fix as much as I can, and make myself better because of it--because I'm like my mom and my dad.
~ Eventide
>>25604742
itz zo beautivul
>>25604742
Great story as always, tenouttaten
anyone wanna give me cute satyr sketches ?
>>25605702
Like ideas?
>>25605702
Wow, you actually really like the satyrs, huh?
Art that isn't shit for Volupia. She's one of the spa kids.
>>25605702
Oh hey, love your style! Do you think you could do a drawing of Starburst here?
>>25605702
>>25605702
>>25605758
We have a better reference for them, you know
>>25605944
somethin like that ?
>>25606144
Something exactly like that, yeah
Love it
>>25606144
>Those hips
Y-yes, thank you very much
What about one of the thread mascot?
>>25606238
This is supposed to be Twilight's son if you had trouble recognizing it
>>25606340
Awesome. Do you have a moniker or a site of your work we could look up?
>>25606490
probsacat-art.tumblr.com is mostly. is nsfw, and some non pony work.
>>25568165
aand a twikid
>>25606799
Thanks a bunch, we needed more art for Twilight's bumbling magic kid.
>>25606799
>Dat Spike
>Dat Treehugger
>Dem pones
Niceeeeeeee
>>25598354
Old spoiledmemesfrom earth
>>25583807
Muddle's gonna have a surprise this holiday. Does anyone else think satyrs can produce animal noises? Like the equines can whinny and snort like horses, the sphinxes can purr and roar, the pups bark and growl, drakes growl and screech, and changlyrs squeek and chitte, etc.
>>25608026
They probably could try to imitate them with their human vocal chords, but not any better than humans can.
>>25598790
He doesn't have to be all that strong. He could just be a more agile and skill based monster hunter. Rather than relying on brute strength he doesn't have, he'd have great knowledge about the various types of creatures in Equestria (including his sister) and their weak spots. Combined with agility due to his petite physique, he'd be able to skillfully dodge attacks while still getting in hits exactly where it hurts the most. The heavy lifting, he'd leave to his sister.
>>25609056
They read up and study the monsters with their mother's Bestiary, which is just as important than fighting the blasted things. I'm not sure if I pegged drakes more as damage sponges than heavy hitting earth ponies. Their advantages are in their stamina and how big of a hit they can take, while making up for it with their natural claws, teeth, and breath weapon. Femanon got through her hunting career by chugging healing potions that she learns how to make first thing before they even handle a weapon. So in terms of strength, they're probably just a bit better than above average:
>Minotaur > Earth Pony > Griffon/Pegasus > Dragon > Diamond Dog > Changeling > Unicorn
>>25609244
I'm not sure about instant healing potions. The need to and ability to chug instant healing potions is usually a symptom of a poorly designed hack and slash game, rather than something that would fit canonically into a fantasy setting.
>>25609384
But potions have been shown to have regenerative properties in the show, since Apple Bloom used Zecora's potion to fix her chipped tooth.
>>25605702
>>25606144
>>25606340
>>25606799
Man, all of these are great sketches. If you're still taking requests, could you do a thing with these two?
>>25604742
Loved it.
Sure is dead today. Do any of you agree on this >>25584607?
>>25611928
Sounds okay to me.
>>25611928
Nope.
>>25611928
Feels seems a little high. Unless the thread is ruled by pussies who feel at a spider getting stepped on.
>>25612006
>>25612108
So what about
>Family = 25%
>Feels = 5%
>Slice Of Life = 25%
>Comedy = 15%
>Action-Adventure = 15%
>Smut = 15%
>>25612181
Eh, seems about right.
Spoilers relevamt to the new ep.That AshaxTimber ship is looking a little more believable now.
>>25612199
So how can we do this with as little shipping as possible?
>>25612263
>Implying
The very basis of the thread is built on shipping. I.e: Anon/Femanon x pony/equestrian species.
>>25612279
Then how can we cut back on threadcanon Satyr x Satyr ships and make them more pliable to the general 'nothing is canon' dynamic?
>>25612311
What if ships are just an aspect of a few stories instead of the main focus?
Like an adventure fic with two satyrs who grow close during their journeys together?
>>25612340
Bar's too high.
That would require people to actually write stories and not spitball ideas.
>>25612311
Oh, then that's impossible. The shipping itself is done by individuals. Unless you want to police content, the best you can do is offer and create content about alternative ships, but then you'd fall into hypocrisy. Your new ships would fall into threadcanon, people would complain about you, and this cycle would continue. Best you can do if you want to cut shipping out of YOUR (on an individual level) life is to hide the posts that revolve around it. Out of sight, out of mind.
>>25612311
There have to be stories that look back on satyr x satyr as a failed relationship.
>>25612340
I had a sorta story with Timber, Simmer, Leaf, Snapshot, Ambrosia, and Kaos travelling together through Equestria on random misadventures. But it didn't go anywhere.
>>25612237
>Their parents hung out
>That MUST mean that they're destined for each other
???
>>25612311
>Then how can we cut back on threadcanon Satyr x Satyr ships
How about this: Stop saying that all the satyrs must be fucking everyone they know almost all the time? It's like the aspect of simply being good friends is a mystery here.
>Satyrs being just friends? Impossible! They met once, so they must have sex! Or at least give blowjobs like the good friends they are.
>>25612390
That still involves shipping in some shape or form
>>25612390
There was one writer who did them. Three stories, if I remember correctly.
>>25612393
I remember that! Dude, why'd you stop?
>>25612420
I didn't really know where to take it, honestly. There wasn't really any good and reasonable incentives provided other thsn their parents got together and agreed to push them into groups and send them off on an excursion of the entire planet. I was planning on having them stop by an abandoned town to help an old stallion fend off some munsters (Timber gets the guy's axe afterwards), but then everything else after comes up blank.
Random Satyr Story Time
Pick a group of satyrs and write anything you want about them.
>Blare
>Blue Bonnet
>Muddle
>Icarus
>Prism
>Kyra
>Salai
>Sirius
>Daedalus
>Steam Boat
>Shortcake
>Tonsils
>Green Peace
>Thorn
>Starburst
>Stormwalker
>Dynamo
>Baelnum
>Annie
>Salai
>King Sombra
>Radiance
>Mistake
>>25612484
Ahh? A premise but no idea where to take it.
>>25612519
>Kyra
>Daedalus
Who
>>25612819
Kyra is Tirek's daughter
Daedalus is that random Iron Will girl MT made
I think Mumble would have the singing voice of Mazzy Star.
>>25611928
>>25612181
>I would make a chart, but the sites acting buggy. I think the satyr thread should be constructed like this
No, the thread shouldn't follow a set structure or feel like it's running on rail along a pre-defined path. It should consist organically of whatever people feel like writing and talking about at the time.
>"Sorry, Anon, you can't post your story that you've been working on for over a week this thread because it'll take us over the assigned and approved 25% designated for family content."
