>"Congratulations, Anonymous. You've defeated the Royal Guard."
>"And now what do you intend to do?"
>"Kill me?"
>"Ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
>"Try it! I dare you. Bring your worst."
>"What do you think you can even accomplish?"
>"Death... I would welcome death. I long for it. Do you think I have not tried? Oh, but I have. Many times. Over a thousand years I have walked amongst the ponies. I did not know just how different I was for a long, long time."
>"The first time I tried was 4 years after Luna's banishment. I didn't want to go on living. I tried to drown. But I couldn't."
>"Within me burns a flame so bright that nothing - nothing! - can extinguish it, no matter how hard I wanted it to."
>"I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. And every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent... I am an immortal."
>"So come then, if you think you are good enough..."
>>25495578
>TFW when enslavement and sexual torture are my fetish
Thank you for telling me exactly what you can handle, Sunnybuns.
>>25495578
For fuck's sake, I'm not roleplaying with you.
>>25495578
So you're like R63 Jack Harkness?
"Celestia I intend to do what no Pony has done before"
>And what is that Anonymous?
"I intend to have your Sister"
> Royal Canterlot Voice "REEEEEEEEEEEEEÈÈE"
>>25495578
Welp, nukes are always an option.
>>25495700
Nuking the avatar of an immense nuclear fusion reaction. That's gonna work. Sure. You go there.
>>25495578
You know, you could just erase your memories.
You could take turns with Luna. She could wipe your mind, you live a new life for a few centuries, then you could return the favor when she's ready to "die."
It'd be fun and less messy.
>>25495700
bad idea
>>25495578
"I'm sorry, but why have ponies done all of those things to you?"
>>25495725
>>25495775
As far as I know in nukes atoms are falling into pieces, thus emitting energy. It's the literal opposite of fusion. I'm sure it would work.
>>25495578
>"No...I have other plans for you"
>Anon confuses Celestia and grabs her hoof
>"Wh-what are you?"
>"Are you ready?"
>Anon and celestia fly off into the clouds, past beautiful scenery and come across something beautiful
>"Welcome to your new home"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6YTXjOwSL8
>>25495578
It was just a game of Hopscotch, Celestia. What the fuck
>>25495578
Kill you?
No, we'll just wipe everything that made you Celestia away instead.
*BZAM*
Infanto-ray one, immortal filly needing her diaper nothing.
>>25495836
>>25495578
>Get mad
>Flip my shit
>Drop my guns
>Tear off my pants
>Run up to her
>Crouch down in front of her
>Take massive fuckhuge shit
>Chocolate fountain of all flying fucking rancid stench
>Scent wafts into her nose
>She gags and throws up
>Chokes on her own vomit
>Dies
>Become new ruler of Equestria
>Get in the floor everybody walk the dinosaur
>>25495807
>nuclear fusion doesn't emit energy
>>25495862
Where did I say that? Both emit energy, yes, but fusion is not fission, m80. If she would gain power from fusion, fission should weaken her.This is some abstract way of thinking, I know.
>>25495578
Relationships like this have worked in the past, but usually end up rather wonky.
>>25495578
You act like it isn't fun!
>>25495857
>>25495672
I destroyed your guards in a drinking contest, bisssshssshsssheeyurrrrrrrrphhshshshshsuuuuuurrrrrrrphhshs ... wah?
Oh, yes, and as soon as I vomit I will vomit again. Lot of vomitting. Vomit on you and your shoes. Vomit vomit comet vomit voooooo ...
Anyway! Afterwards, I will destroy you. With drink. I hope your livers are immortal, because mine hasn't died yet. And I'm ready to die! Yeah! You ...
Do you you know that guitar riff? It goes dun-dun-dun-dun-dunduhn. It's like ... I can never get the key right ... dun-dun-duuhn-dundunduuuuuuhhhn.
>>25495578
Celestia please, we don't need another Caius Ballad on our hands.
>>25496330
>>25496365
>>25496365
The only way to redeem this edge is to drown it in sexual tension
>>25496330
>>25496365
This is shit
stop
>>25496387
1 vote Nah.
Duly noted.
>>25496407
One vote for
>rape
So... I have no fucking clue.
>>25496413
>>25496365
>>25496330
Nah, nah, nah, nah. There is an easy way to salvage this into something great. I just can't say what it is exactly or anon will have to rip it off and it won't be organic.
>>25496413
>being so weak you delete your own writing
>>25495578
i came for your horn.
it will make a lovely ivory flute.
>>25496250
Is that "iron man" by black sabbath?
>>25495578
wait guys I have an Idea.
>>25495889
>implying refreshing the hydrogen to helium cycle by fissioning it back down to H vs HE isn't going to do more than top off the ol' alicorn fuel tanks
>"Congratulations, Anonymous. You've defeated the Royal Guard."
>"And now what do you intend to do?"
>"Kill me?"
>"Ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha!"
>"Try it! I dare you. Bring your worst."
>"What do you think you can even accomplish?"
>"Death... I would welcome death. I long for it. Do you think I have not tried? Oh, but I have. Many times. Over a thousand years I have walked amongst the ponies. I did not know just how different I was for a long, long time."
>"The first time I tried was 4 years after Luna's banishment. I didn't want to go on living. I tried to drown. But I couldn't."
>"Within me burns a flame so bright that nothing - nothing! - can extinguish it, no matter how hard I wanted it to."
>"I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. And every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent... I am an immortal."
>"So come then, if you think you are good enough..."
>Celestia sits upon her throne of light
>The room is made of platinum, her mind was broken once more
>And twilight stands at your side. with a red painted boombox
>Celestia Smiles lovingly
>Twilight looks to you
>"Are you sure this will work?"
"Trust me, I am the professional."
"Just play be playing the music."
>"Okay..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U06jlgpMtQs
"OF COURSE I CAN BE TO DEFEATING YOU! I AM THE GREAT ANONSKY, GREAT BEAR WRESTLER FROM MOTHERLAND."
>Anon produces a bottle of vodka from his underwear, downs half the bottle, than dowses his body with the rest and tosses the bottle.
"WE ARE TO FIGHTING!"
>The bottle slams against the wall
>"SUCH BLATANT DISRESPECT! YOU INSOLENT WELP!"
>She flies from her throne and charges The Great Anonskey.
>>25497474
>But The Great Anonsky is to quick
>He steps to the side, and wrap his arm around her neck.
>"AHH!"
>He quickly twists his body and slam's her onto the floor with all the mighty body weight of an angry Russian man.
>"LET ME GO YOU SMELL LIKE PISS AND BEER!"
"NET! I AM THE SMELLING OF THE THE GLORIOUS MOTHERLAND!"
>She flails about and struggles to break free, but The Great Anonskey is to strong and maintains his glorious grip.
>Twilight is watching, jaw wide open, and switches the Casset
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kr3qMORtM5M
>Sensing an opportunity Anonskey mount's her back. and straddles her.
>She begins to flail her more violently now.
>And she has began to buck at the air, but she is on her side so it does nothing.
>"WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET OFF!"
>The Great Anonskey ignores her, and wraps his mighty legs around her torso, than with his free arm, wraps it around her throat.
"THIS IS TO BEING!!!!THE MIGHTY GUILLOTINE OF SOVIET PRIDE, AHHHHHH!!!"
>Anonskey begins to pull with his arms and legs in oppesite dircetions with all his might.
>"AHHH, IT HURTS STOP STOP I YIELD! I YIELD!"
"NET, NOT UNTIL YOU BE DECLARING ME KING!"
>"YOU KING?!?! OVER MY DEAD BODY."
"THIS IS TO BE ACCEPTING!"
>>25497491
>He pulls even tighter and feels tendons beginning to snap.
>"AHHHH!"
>He eases up and than maneuvers to her legs.
>The Great Anonskey than wraps his hands around one of her hind legs, and wraps his thighs around her head.
>She is loosing strength. Anonskey knows this.
>He Than performs a mighty arm bar on her leg.
>And pulls with all his strength in opposite directions. on her joints.
>"AHH, LOOK ANON, I'LL MAKE YOU A DUKE, A DUKE JUST STOP!"
"NET, IS TO BEING KING OR NOTHING"
>"I ALWAYS HATED YOU!"
>Twighlight, begins to understandably get a little worried and chimes in.
>"Anon, I think we made our point, you can stop."
"NET, THIS AM TO BE PERSONAL! WE MUST BE DOWNING THE BOURGEOSIE! FOR GLORIOUS PROLETARIAT!
>"THIS IS WHY PEOPLE THINK YOUR A FAGGOT! ANON!"
>But The Great Anonskey hears none of it, and instead tightens his armbar on Celestia.
>Twighlight is distressed and paceing about the room.
>"Oh Celestia what have I done, I created a monster!"
>"FINE FINE YOU CAN BE KING, OH GOD JUST STOP!"
"fantastika!"
>Twilight has curled into a ball on the floor now. Whispering to herself over and over.
>"Oh Celestia what have I done?"
>On that day, celestia learned that there are more horrifying things than life.
>The mighty thighs of The Great Anonsky
>And thus the great Anonskey became lord of equestria
>Toppling the capitalistic scum and incorporating soviet society into equestria.
>He sat upon his throne made of iron and on one side, on a chain leash was Celestia.
>On the other twilight as his accountant.
"Life is to being the good!"
>He would rule for a thousand years before his liver failed. He Died like a true soviet.
>>25497507
>>25497507
The Soviet sky burns bright tonight
>>25495578
Tfw I read this in Pat's voice. Goddamn 2snacks.
this was so funy lol
>>25495578
>"FALL"
The entire world fades to black as Celestia falls to the ground.
>"You are strong pony."
You take a few steps towards her, raising your palm each time she twitched, trying to recover her footing.
>"Yet I am beyond strength."
Each step echoed through out the halls of Canterlot Castle, a deafening pitter patter within the throne room.
>"You come beset with your armies and your toys."
A cold air hangs in the stillness of your capture.
>"And I have bested them all."
You stand above her, her lips quivering, eyes fluttering in sheer terror as flaps of flesh fall from your face.
>"And I will make use of them all."
You crouch down, your words a harsh whisper, crueler, colder than icicles on a blackboard.
>"And with them, conquer numerous kingdoms, spreading my death and filth across all the corners of the globe."
You outreach your arm, flesh falling with every centimeter it stretched.
>"And when all have become like unto me."
You stretch your bony finger and run it across her opalescent mane.
>"We will take unto the stars, and do unto the entire Universe."
As your gnarled pointer etched across her mane, the ones beautiful colors faded, turning to a dark grey, before vanishing into ashes.
>"You are indeed strong, but I am beyond strength."
You grasp her muzzle and force her eyes to stare into your abyssmal sockets that radiated only death.
>"AND YOU SHALL MAKE FOR AN EXCELLENT QUEEN OF MY UNDEAD ARMY!"
You unleashed the putrid forces of necromancy from your skeleton carapace and it cascades into her horrified maw. Patches of flesh dissolving into nothing, leaving nothing behind but bone. Celestia screams echoed conjoined with your cackling bellows throughout the Halls of Canterlot Castle.
And that my child.
Is how the Dark Age began.
>>25495578
>Then your punishment must be more severe
>When your country is ashes, then you have my permission to die
>>25495578
>Celestia is immortal
People need to stop reading fanfiction.
>>25498151
I like it
>>25498151
loved it.
>>25497621
The dankest shit this side of /mlp/ nigga.
>>25497422
Fissioning helium is a net loss of energy. Fissioning massive elements is what releases energy. Not to mention the fission products of say, uranium, are barium (and some other large element).
>>25498261
Still better than canon, i mean, she is a background pony now.
"Oh don't worry sunshine I intend to teach this place how to have a good time. In the meantime I'll be watching you."
>>25495578
>"Kill me?"
"Oh shit, I thought it was a breeding sire contest."
>>25495578
Well, I guess we're in this together then.
>>25497507
Fucking Kek
