Anon, when you were called to serve Equestria in a time of war, we didn't mean to kill innocent soldiers! You killed five of their troops and permanently injured 8 others with that "ghun" of yours. You now face trial for your crimes against nature. How do you plea?
>>25454563
I didn't realize my cum was poisonous
>>25454563
Not sure how it's a crime against nature since I didn't have sex with any of them.
Then again, a true soldier would've plundered and raped the villagers. If anything I outta be arrested for not doing my duty.
>>25454563
You're making a mistake..
>>25454563
Not guilty by reasons of insanity.
>>25454597
Guilty
*shocks*
>>25454597
Horses are behind times, you'll probably get a lobotomy for that plea.
>>25454563
And to think you could have made it all about anon's sexual depravities instead. Or thought crimes.
Bitch, you called me to fight a war, not settle a playground dispute. What was I meant to do when they came at me with blades and cries of retribution? Hug them?
>>25454563
Diplomatic immunity.
>>25454563
I plea that this is a shitty prompt and OP is a huge retard.
I didn't break the law, I AM THE LAW!
>>25454597
>>25454667
Noice
Also
>inc US Army/Wehrmacht in Equestria revive?
>>25455052
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdyEu5XTChk
>>25454563
I am a robot there for I have no free will so I have not committed any crime >>25454563
SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED
>>25455056
>Tanks v. Ponies
I wonder who'd fucking win
>>25454563
Well it's not MY fucking fault the ponies wouldn't clear the fucking back-blast! I told them to fucking move but noooo- "what's a little AIR going to do!?"
>>25454563
"...you mean, you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes... I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight... till it burns your hand, and you say this... No one else will ever have to live like this! No one else will ever have to feel this pain! Not on my watch!"
>"Ok...and what does this have to do with what I asked you?"
"STOP SPOILING MY FUN! YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!"
>>25455386
>"Couldn't you just tell me the truth, for once?"
"You can't handle the truth! Princess, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Twalot? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for those ponies and you curse anon. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that those ponies' death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at galas, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
I use words like clop, meme, plot...I use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a horse who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"
>"...are you trying to look insane?"
"I-is it working?"
>"Kinda, but still no dice."
>>25454563
Just did my duty, you should be judged instead for giving me the order.
>>25454563
It's my culture
Check your privilege
![Bang[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LrRJzk9.jpg "Bang[1].jpg")
>>25454563
Bang.
>>25454589
>a true soldier would've plundered and raped the villagers
I like you anon
>>25454563
A war in my world is about killing and eradicate the enemy or at least make sure that said enemy doesn't come back with revenge.
And in fact a war is in certain way a BATTLE, so this can sometimes occur.
I don't call myself a hero nor i have the right to be called as such and neither i'm proud of killing and crippling concious beings, but as a human i'm merely protecting his friends and maybe family in the only way they have teached me to do.
and you didn't stop and explained me how "war" worked here, it is like you wanted me to kill them...but you didn't like the way i did it.
So now...how do YOU princess plea?because you're the one who ordered me to fight even if i don't wanted to do it.
>>25457311
I like me too
>>25454563
You said dont let the changlings into town especially sense it was cadence and shineing armor wedding second I buried most of them just out side of town those two sticks that made a cross marks where I buried them a a normal in my home dimension
>>25454563
Well what did you want me to do, stand around with my thumb up my ass like all your guardsand your sisterduring the Canterlot Wedding?
I'm the one keeping the populace safe, and so long asdeus vult,I will continue doing my duty.
Its not pronounced "guh-uuuuuhhhhhnnnnnn" it is pronounced, "a bottle containing three years worth of my own farts." And I will not apologize for lighting my own farts.
Although, I am very sorry for killing those guys. Really thought you had stronger constitutions than that.
>>25454563
THEY WERE HERETICS! THEY CHOSE THIER FATE!
>>25459998
YOU WERE OFF BY ONE
"I plead guilty...
...of not giving a fuck."
>is banished because they don't believe in the death penalty.
>>25460429
>bannished to the moon because they don't believe in the death penalty.
FTFY
>>25461161
>bane-ished
And make sure nobody else fixes it. You don't get to bring friends.
I plead not guilty on the grounds that I was removing kebab.
>>25461189
>crashed into the moon with no survivors because they do believe in the masterplan
I bet you thought you were in charge here.
>>25461506
I shoot men before throwing them out of planes. I feel very in charge.
>>25461506
>thinking that such a big guy could be contained on the moon
shaking my head to be honest family
>>25454563
I plead not guilty on the grounds that I have a gun and you don't
>>25461575
You think the memes are your ally, but you merely adopted the dankness. I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn’t see episode discussion until I was already a man; by then, it was nothing to me but shitposting.
>>25461462
Oh god KEK!!!
>>25461781
It wasn't even that funny you faggot.
>>25454577
>this
and then it got 4chan'd
>>25454563
Time to use my extensive legal knowledge to get out of this one. "I plead no contest!"
>>25454563
"I still have the gun?"
>You unload two rounds into the air.
>All the ponies scream.
>"Why did no one take that from him?!"
>Celestia looks to her head guard.
>"He had a gun!"
>You chuckle.
"They tried asking nicely. When I said no, they just said okay and left. I think one of them even left a donut on my porch as a peace offering."
>Celestia facehoofs.
>"Eugh. So, he still has his gun... Guards, retrie-"
>You unload two more rounds, causing the ponies to panic again.
>"STOP THAT!"
"Heheh, not sorry."
>"That thing is a WEAPON! Not a toy!"
"It is to me!"
