PREVIOUSLY ON THE CRIMES AGAINST NATURE PROGRAM
>>25387279
>What is this thread about?
Half human and half pony/other Equestrian species offspring.
>What are the rules?
There are no thread specific rules, do what you want.
>What is the continuity (world/characters/attributes)?
Whatever you want it to be. Everything is a variable, there are no absolutes. Characters, names, genders, personalities, relationships, backgrounds, writing style, genre. If you want to know the common headcanons of certain characters, read some stories or ask the thread.
Searchable Archive:
http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/search/?tags=satyr
Story by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/qFf46ep5
Author List:
http://pastebin.com/RFgtrECq
Satyrs by Parent:
http://pastebin.com/uBqbm6eq
Dropbox
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/d94jlx7pgl5gg34/AABM4w-okI70GyrbCsVNee9Ga?dl=0
Need some proofing done? Or want to throw ideas around?
Add one of the Skypes below!
[NEEDS UPDATING]
>>25437734
Less Awkward Title Edition
>>25437750
Hey, I tried!
In an attempt to lessen the saturation of shipping stories, why not make a story based on these points?
>How is a satyr's family life? Not just their relationship with their parents/siblings, but what goes on in their day-to-day lives.
>What are their aspirations? Even little things can be teased out to become something exciting and beautiful.
>Are they living a full life? Not just a happy one, but one filled with adventure, fear, tears, joy, scraped knees and the occasional busted nose.
>What do I think would look really cool/awesome/cute/sweet?
Would people prefer four or three post stories on a less regular basis, or one or two posts on a more regular?
>>25437847
... Ehh, either or.
>>25437847
Depends completely on the stories really.
Often one or two-post "stories" can be very nice and provoke discussion by being suggestive rather than explicit.
>>25437808
Oh hey, that's my list.
>>25437847
Yes.
As another source of inspiration:
Oh no! Your satyr's life plan has fallen through, and there's absolutely no way they're possibly going to achieve their lifelong dream! Crushed, they're forced to turn to a way of life they never would have seen themselves taking before.
What is it? How does it go?
>>25437847
The former. One or two posts is usually too few to allow for anything more than joke stories with a hasty set up and underwhelming payoff.
>>25431308
>>25436597
>Normally seen as masculine satyrs make sexy girls.
>Utah, Hotshot, Icarus, Timber, Radiance, Rory, Muddle, Presto, Maverick, Clef, Jay, Fraise, Cashmere
>As well as the usual traps
>It was just as the whinefags warned
>Now everyone is a faggot>Implying they weren't already
>>25438142
>Mudpie with a baseball bat
What did she break?
>>25436597
What if their half pony ancestry really kills their testosterone production?
>>25438221
Welp, that would explain a lot of in show stuff. All the stallions that look like mares, tranny big mac, the constant "girl power" and "matriarchy is perfection" messages... Just like Faust wanted
>>25438182
A Jar of Fly Honey.
In the house.
Momma is NOT happy.
>>25438165
>>25438221
>want feminine traps
>several hardbodies included in there
I don't get this inclination.
>>25438237
>want feminine traps
I don't actually, I just enjoy joking about it from time to time. Just like incest.
I've been fighting asthma and bronchitis for the past month now
Requesting something cute with pony mom trying to soothe their satyr kid's cough
>>25438165
>>25438237
I'm assuming he means before most of them go through their muscle gaining.
>>25439046
Any intended length? I might write up a short little story just to try and get my writing groove back.
>>25439198
I'm not looking for anything in particular
A delivery at all would make me all smiles
>>25439234
I'll see what I can do, anon. Being sick is awful, and I'd love to help.
>>25439234
>>25439255
Any preference on Satyr? I know you just want a delivery, but I like making it special for the person requesting it.
>>25439320
I'm totally anEventideguy
>>25439343
>Aaron
Ah. >>25439320
I'd say to make sure it's heavy on the dad. Fatherly feels.
>>25439372
>requests pony mom
>someone butts in demanding dad feels
>>25439343
Eventide, eh? That'd be interesting for me. Never got involved with Sunset or EQG stuff before. I think I have an idea to work with.
While >>25439388 does raise a good point, I think I can find something to compromise with >>25439372.
It may even seem familiar to those reading it.
>>25439388
Wasn't demanding. Figured it had to be Aaron, so made a suggestion.
>>25437808
So what aboutFriendships?
>>25440147
... A what?
>>25440181
Friendships
You know, the entire point of the show these little miracles are based on?
>9 posters
Lol satyr
Give me a satyr and I'll try and write something about them. The less content, the better
>>25440181
I think anon is referring to Friendshipping. You know, when two characters are paired in a way that is entirely platonic. It is also known as Phillia, and is one of the four great loves, alongside Storge (familial love), Agape (Unconditional Love), and Eros (Romantic Love)
>>25440193
What is that, some sort of food? It sounds Asian.
>>25440423
Plate tectonics?
>>25440779
Oh what I wouldn't give for that Disgruntled Pogo right about now.
>>25440922
... That's disturbing
>>25440932
>>25440946
That's WHY it's disturbing
Satyr, who would you think has latent telepathy? I was thinking Kaos or Selene.
>>25441018
Well Glimmer apparently made it to Farseer status, so that's gotta be a pretty big indicator she's god mad telepathic powers.
>>25439108
>stealing shotas
That's not going to end well.
>>25439046
There's an idea. It's a bit huge though, so I'll have to trust the other guy to deliver.
>>25440147
We aren't allowed to say that word anymore.
>>25441683
Mau and Kaos are friends. So are Dynamo and Stormwalker. And I always thought Rory and Simmer would bond over fellow woobiness.
>>25438235
>a lot of in show stuff
The show does have simple character design in general. A template that has allowed innumerous fan creations based on the simple concept that it is.
But something else to note, horrible headcanon is horrible headcanon.
>Satyr gets drunk for the first time at a party hosted by Jay and Dionysus. What type of drunk are they and what happens?
>>25442183
>Desirae: She's party drunk; she hits on some dude, then some chick, then throws up
>Pogo: Happy, light drunk; Hooks up with Garret for the night
>Laika: Uncontrollable drunk; humps legs, eats food, leaves in a mess of limb and slur
>Tonsils: Drunk and High; Yeah, she ended up stuck on the couch
>Volupia: Horny Drunk; Nothing happened. None of the guys like her that way.
>Annie: What even is this drunk; totally drank everything she saw and somehow didn't die. Yaegar bombs, irish whiskey, four loko...
>Broil: Party drunk; she clings to Glimmer all night and kills it in Beer Pong
>Icarus: Vulnerable drunk; quickly loses himself, a game of beer pong, and the ability to top. Ambrosia, bring the strap-on.
>>25442234
More?
>>25442234
Ha, nothing like a drunk virgin... As in, someone who doesn't drink, not- you know what I mean.
Gay, but that's kinda the point.
DAMN. Down, girl!
... Huh.
Aww, that's sad.
Daaaaamn. Girl is like a steel drum.
Aww. Drunk pets and cuddles.
... I like where this is going.
>>25442302
Suggest more for me. I like surprises.
>>25442337
>Orion
>Tonbo
>Muddle
>Golden Harvest
>Mudpie
>Ace
>Amelia
>Oliver
>>25442353
>Rory: Wasted: Never knew his limit, never had a chance
>Tonbo: Touchy Drunk: Timber, Run.
>Muddle: Soft drunk; Ever expected Muddle to be down to Earth? Put a few beers in him and he slows down, even talks good about his brother Gargle.
>Golden Harvest: Can you even get this mare drunk?
>Mudpie: One too many jello shots; Her and Trimmings laugh until the final minute of consciouness for the night. Them spins.
>Ace: Touchy Drunk; Look, Timber ran from one babysitter right into the other.
>Amelia: Love drunk; totally talks to everyone as if they're her closest buddy
>Oliver: EXTREME DRUNK; Who?
>>25442383
Expected. Look who his mom is.
Touchy as in emotional or touchy as in gropey?
So Muddle is a nicer drake drunk? ... No, that would be unethical.
Survey says: MAYBE!
Aww, drunk buddies.
Same question as above.
Haaa, she's "that girl". The one who annoys everybody by butting in.
... Dude, someone call him a cab.
Mind doing some more?If so; Mumble, Timber, Kaos, Glimmer, Cider, Utah, and Alex?
>>25442383
>Golden Harvest, Annie, and Oliver all have a drinking contest. Everything goes fine until Emma breaks out her mom's Griffonstone vodka.
>Drunk Tonbo and Ace molesting a sober Timber when?
>>25442423
Add in one or two more that aren't so main focus types
After that, I'm heading to bed, AnonJust for you
>>25442445
>Not main focus
Cashmere, Venus, Selene, and for shots and giggles; Groot
>>25442423
Oh man, now I'm getting feels with wallflower Amelia getting drunk and trying to forget about her troubles. She tries to socialize with people but they tell her to but out since she's talking as if they knew them. So she just stays silent and goes back to her corner seat and thinks maybe coming to this party wasn't a good idea.
>>25442472
>*They keep telling her to butt out because she keepsvtalking as if she knows them.
>>25442472
Then a few other wallflowers who had too much drinky come up to her. They all chat, smile, eventually get asked to leave because they're practically yelling, but fuck it! They're gonna go get pancakes!
>>25442423
>>25442457
>Mumble: Sad drunk; getting drunk brings out the real Pinkamena in her
>Timber: Timber drunk; Like, he literally fell over. Ace and Tonbo tried to help him, but it turned more into a passed out gropefest. Ladies, the boy is down.
>Kaos: Extra chaotic drunk; break out the best visual gags ever!
>Glimmer: Talkative drunk; If you want to never get back to the party, ask Glimmer anything when she's drunk
>Cider: Apple Family Drunk; Classic brand of plain ol' redneck.
>Utah: The Sipper; Never got drunk, but played everything everyone offered and had a great time. He even motorboated Candy.
>Alex: Competitive drunk; "What do you mean you can do a lap quicker than me? Let's go, right now!" Bad end.
>Cashmere: Fancy drunk; never deviates from his high end liquors, speaks to everyone like they're inferior, ensuing fight with Garret
>Venus: Matchmaker drunk; She starts liveshipping, dog. Liveshipping.
>Selene; I should go to bed drunk; For the night owl, getting drunk makes her sleepy, dizzy, and touchy feely. The sheets are usually a little damp after drinking.
>Groot: WHOA; She rips the guitar, she dances, she sings, and then... she's stuck. Everyone's confused seeing the excited timberwolf suddenly sitting in a chair with a glazed look on his face
>>25442506
>his
Yup, bedtime
Whoaaa, we on page 9 already?
>Your satyr kid gets to that age and you find porno magazines of horses under his or her bed.
>What do?
>>25438235
>the constant "girl power" and "matriarchy is perfection" messages
Lol? The show focuses it's screentime on the female characters more often than not, but it's never portrayed them as superior or any of that nonsense. And Equestria isn't a matriarchy, it's gender-egalitarian, we've seen nothing but things that indicate gender-equality, and there are plenty of mares AND stallions who do all sorts of various things in the show. Both genders have been shown as equal in standing and potential, there is no 'dominant' gender, no discrimination, etc.
And before someone mentions "muh imbalanced gender ratio" or something else to that effect, I don't buy that one, considering the crowds of ponies in the show tend to be copy pasted with tons of clones and inconsistencies. It would be madness to take them seriously, and you certainly can't use them to determine anything, much less something complicated like population statistics. The gender ratio is most likely even, and we just don't always see it because DHX doesn't have the time or money to hand place every single pony. One thing that's for certain is the ponies are primarily monogamous.
>>25440922
...Context? No, really, what brought you to draw something like this. Recently played Old World Blues?
I'd reinstall New Vegas, but damn if I don't spend hours setting up all the mods, not to mention strange performance issues lately. A lot of work. Especially when you use TTW and have to stack on all sorts of compatibility patches.
>>25440922
I like it, though the legs bend wrong and I can't quite tell which satyr it is.
>>25442935
Because some time ago, I slapped this >>25440946 picture down during a hypothetical "what picture would you like to see satyrized?"
>>25443374
Let me help you.
>>25442433
"Mumble, come on; let's go home."
The flat-haired girl pulls her eyes away from her drink and scowls. The lanky boy beside her offers a gentle smile, but that does nothing to lighten his friend's mood. After a moment of glaring, Mumble brings her drink back to her lips and responds, "I don't want to. Life sucks. Just want stay here and drink it away."
Her words are a little slurred, of course; this isn't her first round. Or even her second for that matter. Point being, she's been slogging her way through drinks all night, and really is in no position to be doing much of anything right now. With a sigh that sounds far too much like his mother's Timber reaches out and places a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Mumsy, that's the liquor talking." The pink-haired girl pouts a little, casting her eyes to her glass as Timber continues, "You've been in a funk ever since we got here. Come on, we can sneak into the bakery and make some waffles and that's sure to help your mood."
A thoughtful scowl rests on the pale girl's face for several seconds before she shakes her head. "No." Standing on unsteady legs, she brushes off Timber's hand as he reaches for her. "No, maybe I like being depressed. Maybe I want to hate the world and everyone in it every so often."
Timber sighs, "Mums-"
"Don't call me that!" Mumble grumbles, shooting a halfhearted glare at her long-time friend. "Just, just let me be miserable for a while. Just a while," and with that, she wobbles off into the crowd of ponies and satyrs, still muttering those last three words under her breath.
Timber watches her until she disappears and then sighs. "Great. Now what?"
Not to be entirely rude, but Timber is a bit of a stick in the mud. Straightedge isn't a thing in Equestria, but had he spent time on Earth, the naturalistic lifestyle would probably have a very strong appeal to him; especially the bit about alcoholic abstinence.
>>25444000
But, for better or ill, Timber is stuck as the dry-guy at a party full of inebriated teens and twenty-somethings. The pink-haired boy gets to his feet and glances around the party again, considering going after Mumble when a delighted gasp reaches his ear.
"Omigosh, Timber!" The boy has time to glance up right as a lavender haired teen lunges through the air at him. Tangled together, the pair stumble and collapse onto an overstuffed sofa. Timber groans and the girl on top of him giggles. "Whoops, guess I slipped."
"I guess so," the boy mutters, glancing up at Tonbo's bright smile. It takes a moment more, but as reason returns to the seated boy, he realizes that she's pinned his hips to the sofa with her knees on either side of them. Not to mention the red tinge around her cheeks, either from alcohol or embarrassment, seems to, no, is getting closer as Tonbo finally bumps her forehead against his. "Uh, could you-"
"God, you're cute," the waifish girl murmurs, placing a finger on Timber's lips in order to silence him. The well-maintained cuticle drags down to his chin, then his neck, and to the top stitching of his shirt. Tonbo's eyes follow the descending digit, wetting her own lips as she hooks her finger and tugs his shirt away from his neck before trying to peer down his front.
The red-faced boy squirms in discomfort. "T-Tonbo."
"Shh," she chides him again, biting her lower lip as she bobs her head in approval. "Oh yeah, you grew up nice. I remember when you were shorter than me, stuck with those chubby cheeks." Tonbo pats his face playfully before smirking. "But you're all grown up now. Maybe not as built as some guys, but there's nothing wrong with a slim build."
Tonbo strikes a pose and smirks, her small, soft frame hardly imposing but still causing Timber to sweat. "Y-Yeah, that's great and all, but, I need to find Mumble and go home."
>>25444010
Almost immediately, Tonbo's gentle grin disappears. "Mumble? The depressed girl?" Timber nods, earning a tired sigh from the topping teen. "Timber, you can't just say stuff like that when you've got a pretty girl in your lap; it's very rude."
The boy gulps. "But, you're not on my lap. Technically you're pinning me to the-"
Another strained "Shh," has Tonbo's finger on his lips again. "Just listen to me, Timber. Forget about Mumble for right now and let her stew. Besides, why waste your time with cowtits when a flat girl can hold you so much closer to her heart?" Without warning, Tonbo wraps her arms around the younger boy's head and pulls it straight into her chest.
The flowery scent of lilacs and orchids, accompanied by a fresh scent of rain overwhelms poor Timber as his cheek crashes against Tonbo's flat plains. He squirms a little, which only causes the lavender haired girl to clutch his head tighter. "Do you hear it, Timber? Do you hear my heart and how excited I am?"
As Tonbo's love muscle pounds against his face, Timber gulps. He stops fighting just long enough for the inebriated pegasus satyr to relax her arms before thrashing his way free. Tonbo squeals, landing on the couch with a POMF as Timber leaps to his feet and quickly charges off into the party.
"Mumble," he says to himself, "gotta find Mumble and get out of here."
But to no avail. The bodies of the party goers simply don't want to move, and while Timber himself is not a small satyr, it's difficult to force his way through the throng. He needs help. So he turns to the biggest satyr near him and tugs on their sleeve.
"Hey, can you give me a hand? I'm looking for a friend of mine."
"Yeah, sure," replies a familiar voice. Timber trembles as the satyr turns to face him, moreso as her bright green eyes light up. "T? Is that you?"
>>25444017
"Ace?"
The boy doesn't even have time to panic as he's quickly scooped up by his still larger senior. Hooves dangle a fair distance from the ground as he kicks and squirms, unable to get free. The muscled girl laughs, holding him a short distance away and shaking her head.
"Of all the folks to run into, it would happen to be you. It's been ages since I saw you."
"About three years, more if you count when you stopped babysitting me," he says in agreement. "Could, you put me down?"
"Hm? Yeah, sure," the former sitter does as she's told. Taking a moment to size the boy up, she smirks. "You've really filled out though; I hardly recognize you next to the skinny little boy you used to be. Still a little small, but cute as ever."
Timber nods, glancing around. "Right, so, do you think that you could help me find my fri-" the boy stops suddenly, his eyes widening as he feels an unfamiliar pressure on his crotch. "A-Ace..."
"Hang on," the amazonian girl mutters, her calloused fingers deftly groping their way around his crotch. Her smile slowly grows as she finds what she's looking for. "Well then, it seems some part of you is still absolutely monstrous. "
The boy gulps as the red-haired girl licks her lips. "And since you're such a big boy now, how about I show you some tricks that I've learned on the road? I've got this one that will absolutely blow your-"
"Hey!"
"Oh no..." Timber groans, glancing off to the side as Tonbo finally catches up with him.
The small girl's eyes flash as she snarls, "Get your mitts off my Timber!"
"Your Timber?" Ace smirks, raising an eyebrow. "As I recall, he was my charge before he was yours."
"That's because you're an old, busted hag!"
"Better a hag than a dwarf!"
The two girls square off, Ace dragging Timber behind her as they continue to snap and insult each other. The pink haired boy groans.
>>25444021
"Girls, can't you just, I don't know, work this out somehow? I really need to find Mumble."
"Ugh, Mumble again; I told you that you should know better, Timber!"
"Wait, who's Mumble?" Ace asks with a frown.
Tonbo rolls her eyes and holds her hands out from her chest in an exaggerated fashion. "Depressed girl, great big knockers?"
"Oh." Ace glances down at her own not-quite small chest and smirks at the slight girl. "Well, I guess that's another mark for me if T likes bigger breasts."
"Sh-Shut up! Small boobs are the best!"
"As if, they're called man catchers for a reason!"
The two drunk girls square off, glaring at one another. Tonbo practically spits as she responds, "I hate you."
"I hate you more."
Timber whines, still struggling to pull his arm free from Ace's vice grip. "Mumble, help..."
"Small girls are best, and I'll prove it!" Tonbo finally snaps, lunging at the amazonian satyr. Ace stumbles back a half step, but can't pull her face back quickly enough. There's an ominous clack that rings through the entire house and causes everyone around to stop and stare.
And continue staring as Tonbo's small hands cup Ace's face and she slips her tongue into the larger girl's mouth.
A rumble of approval makes its way through the crowd as the fiery girl responds in kind, small delighted sounds escaping both satyrs as they engage in a tremendously sloppy makeout session. With one hand already on Tonbo's neck, Ace is quick to release Timber and cup the smaller girl's backside, pulling her closer in the process.
With both girls thoroughly distracted, Timber makes his getaway. Or, well, he would, were it not for the fact that two very attractive girls were making out in front of him. That and he hadn't exactly been prepared for a three-legged race. But as he gawks at the whimpering satyrs in front of him, he feels a small hand wrap around his.
>>25444024
"Come on," Mumble says quietly. "I've had enough of this party and I'm really wanting those waffles."
And so Timber is once again dragged away, stumbling over himself as the dour satyr leading him storms off towards Sugar Cube Corner. He continues casting his eyes back, even after the house party is out of sight, perhaps hoping to catch one last look of the two girls.
For their part, Tonbo and Ace don't notice he's gone until it's far too late. But, to be honest, he's more or less been forgotten by both of them. It's probably better that way.
Just another round of nightlife in Equestria.
>>25444024
Since when does Mumble have great big knockers?
>>25444026
R U after a giggle m8?
Cuz u got 1
>>25444026
You used my characterizations...
I love you anon
Requesting another prompt to fill with satyrs. Really makes for a lot of fun for me.
>>25444203
Alex getting irked with Pogo who has no idea how to use any of the machines or freeweights in the gym, and has no idea about any gym etiquette.
>>25444153
Since puberty :^) but reallyI don't pay too much attention to the Satyr Seventeenso I was just going off what little I remember about them from the early days.
>>25444181
Good.
>>25444198
Aren't they pretty general characterizations though? I will take your love tho
>>25444236
Nah, brah, more like >>25442183
>>25444203
>>25444203
Utah and petunia drunk together.
>>25444026
This was really good. You should pastebin this.
How did each satyr get their very first injury?
>>25444566
>Muddle: Hit on a girl the wrong way, black eye city
>Darcy: Being clumsy in the orchard, she sprained her ankle pretty bad
>Garret: An unfortunate poke with a needle whilst making an order of dresses with his mother
>Steel Cage: Mother-inflicted wound, courtesy of The Knife
>Baelnum: Slipped into the spa and swallowed much too much water, ended up in Ponyville Hospital for days
>Salai: Her forearm was sliced in battle, leaving a bit of flesh hanging out. She still won
>Thistle: The most unfortunate of all, a stubbed toe.
There has to be some grand irony in me choosing to oblige a sick anon's request to do a story about being sick, and the morning after I take the request, I get a fucking cold.
>>25444977
You're probably cursed. Consider sacrificing a goat.
>>25445042
Not many goats around, sadly. Or virgins.
I must find some way to appease the Old Gods before winter comes.
>>25444408
Sure:
http://pastebin.com/SytPsDzE
Also, collected the Spitfire stories from last thread:
http://pastebin.com/t1YR5GWu
>>25444026
>Slowly building up to drunk three way in my mind
>Sigh of relief and disappointment when Timber gets away
I both wanted it and am glad it was avoided. Also...
>Flat girls canhold you closer to their hearts
That made me d'aw.
>>25446173
Nah dude, he's practically an accessory in this bit. I honestly might try to write him like that more often; 'beleaguered boytoy' is more amusing than 'gets all the bitches'.I considered it but it's incredibly hard to write lavish cockworship first thing in the morning.
>>25444026
Ey, mind if I do some alternate interpretations? Won't paste them or anything, just feel like delivering some sexuals.
>>25446269
As I said before, as long as it's done intentionally, I don't rightly mind much of anything. Just be genuine with it.
>>25446321
>Intentionally
Mind rephrasing? It would have to be done with intent... Unless someone could somehow accifentally mash their keyboard in just the right way to produce green.
>>25446350
Purpose. Passion. Presence. Take your pick, just let theLOVEshine through.
>>25446387
Ahh, so you don't want a C-grade porno of
>They started mashing their genitals together
>The moans were loud
You want substance. Something with feeling.
>Holding the pink haired boy close to her bare chest, Tonbo sighed happily.
>Her cheeks were red from more than the drink.
>>25446434
I just want to know thatit mattered to you and you had fun with it.That's all.
>>25446571
Oh, easy then. Anything I write matters to me...which might explain my lack of stories lately
>It's been a rough day and satyr just wants some time to relax. Suddenly, someone disturbs them and says that they need their help for something. Who is it, how urgent is the task, and what is it?
>>25447079
>"We're out of sugaaar"
>>25447212
Which satyr enjoys showing off their battle-scars the most?
>>25444634
Can you do a few more satyrs?
>>25447614I'm not really good with injuries, but if another good prompt pops up, I'll happily use any satyrs you suggest
>>25447321
Alex, Salai, Dawn, Sirius, maybe Utah, and Cici
>>25444566
>Pogo was a little too eager to take out a cake that was in the oven, and burnt his hands
>>25444566
>Flora tried to pet a bumbleblee as it worked the flowers in Fluttershy's garden
Simple things satyr can't do
>Eventide can’t stick a spoon on her nose. Her dad always loves to tease her about how it’s ‘human magic’ that he uses when it works for him.
>Ace can't fly a kite to save her life
>Lil Mac can’t one-smack hammer a nail.
>Pear can’t tell a pony’s talent from their cutie mark no matter how blindingly obvious it is.
>Jay can’t do ANYTHING right without at least one retry.
>Gumdrop can’t put a condom on an erect dick.
>Snap can’t see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch
>Steam Boat can’t do plate math. He always ends up lifting more or less than he’s supposed to.
>>25448655
>Oliver can't squeeze ketchup and musturd bottles
>Venus can't whistle
>Ivy can't remember her password off the top of her head
>Lola can't put on pants
>>25448655
>Gumdrop can’t put a condom on an erect dick.
>Can't
Don't believe her, she just wants to have her dads incest baby.
>>25449503
she's never gotten close enough to having safe sex to have had to, so she's never learned
thanks dad. for ruining another child's life.
>>25448655
>Ace can't fly a kite to save her life
I bet she gets her brother to keep it in the air for her.
>"You know this is cheating, right?"
"You know poppa would kill you if he knew you had those Playcolts under your bed, right?"
>Hotshot grumbles under his breath while holing the kite in place
Why are we so dead today?
>>25450397
I blame it on Cold and Flu season, anon. Which reminds me; I still have deliveries to make.
>>25450397
>today
You're funny
>>25449592
Hey, how many satyrs do you think own home electronics? Television, computers, etc.?
>>25450532
Random question, but I like to stick with Zero
>>25450397
Been busy with >>25450481 and trying to finish a story.
>>25450532
I imagine a few of them get gaming systems in their mid to late teens.
>>25450557
I might do a different style this time. Greentext is fine, but I haven't finished a proper narrative story in a while, and for this kind of subject matter, I think proper paragraphs would work so much better.
>>25450532
I figured satyrs on the high end like Glimmer and Sapphire own a laptop or computer. Television and game consoles are pretty common though, but that doesn't imply everyone owns one.
>Satyr unwittingly gains telepathy and can now read people's minds. What do they hear throughout the day?
>>25450803
>"Damn, filly! Just ask your dad to fuck you already! You OOZE HFAS!"
>>25450803
Lots of naughty things. Lots of selfish things. Lots of secret things.Lots of selfless things.
>>25450818
I bet it'll be more like...
"*YAWN* Mornin' Mom."
>"Good morning, sweetie. Fancy some pancakes for breakfast?"
"Sure Mom, thanks. Uh, say, have you seen Dad by any chance?"
>"He left for work early today. Something about a big sale that he wants to close."
"Oh, okay-"
>'Typical. I knew she'd think I wouldn't find out.'
"...Mom?"
>"Yes dear?"
"Did you say something?"
>"No, not a word. Hey, do you want chocolate chips in them too? I just got a whole batch of them yesterday."
"Um, yeah. Okay."
>"Alright then, breakfast will be ready in a few."
>'I wonder if she slept comfortably last night. Her father didn't get a wink of sleep after she tried to get into his pants. He even left the house early that's how much he didn't want to face his own daughter when she woke up Without a word too.'
"..."
>"Hmmhmhmm~"
>'No matter, girl. You tried telling him that it's not his fault, or we didn't raise our child like this. Still didn't change that look of shame he had. Ugh. He probably went to go get a drink.'
"H-hey Mom?"
>"Hm?"
"Do you think I can call Dad while he's at work?"
>"Ooo, I don't know honey. He was really anxious about this deal, I don't think he'd want to be disturbed today."
"O-oh."
>'I bet she's going to stay this clingy on him throughout her "period". Shit, now I wish I read that pamphlet on how long this was gonna last. "Ride it out," it said, "Humor the child," it suggested in order not to damage them.'
>'Pheh, it's sad, really, if she honestly thinks he'll humor despite the fact that he's a married man. I just hope darling would just let her down gently and leave it at that.'
"O-on second thought, I...I don't think I-I'm feeling all that hot. Can I have some later?"
>"Oh. Well yeah, of course. Go get some rest."
"Thanks...and Mom?"
>"Yes?"
"I-I love you."
>"Aw. I love you too champ."
>>25451249
Always about incest
Always.
>>25451313
I was responding to >>25450818, so yeah.
What does Satyr want for Christmasdespite it not being fucking Thanksgiving yet?
>>25452498
Thistle
>Rubies
Gargle
>Teeny Weenies
Volupia
>A boyfriend
Eventide
>A sober dad
Laika
>Chewing bone
Reuben
>Bright, polka dot ties
Asha
>A new wolfskin poncho
Dynamo
>Lightsaber
Sterling
>Survival Knife
Sirius
>Helmet polish
Home Run
>Leggings that bring all the dads to the yard
>>25452498
Big. Honking. Gemstones.
>>25452549
>Sirus
>Helmet polish
Is that a fancy way of saying "lotion?"
>>25452567
No
>>25452575
So one of the princes has a masturbation problem, big deal. He has to channel his frustration into something that's not completely destructive in order to be a semi-functioning being.
His biggest worry is ripping off his dick due to his freaking Alicorn strength. And knocking a hole in the wall.
>>25452623
You disgust me.
>>25452632
I say that to the mirror every morning.
>>25452623
I thought Alicorns were more magically gifted than physically gifted.
>>25452623
Sounds retarded
>>25452646
Luna cracked the ground in Luna Eclipsed when she stomped. That's literally the only thing I'm basing that off of.
Plus I always saw Sirius as being the tallest, broadest, and strongest of the four while being the weakest magically.
>>25444000
Are there any other satyrs that are melancholy and sad underneath the surface? Mumble seems like the front runner.
>>25452667
Shouldn't Icarus or Prism be as strong, with Pebble argurably being the physically strongest satyr of all?
>>25452967
Thorn tries. Kaos seems the type to actually have feelings underneath her chaotic side. Pebble, maybe?
>>25452984
>Tfw Kaos just wants to cuddle with Timber
>Tfw it doean't even have to be atimber, just a guy that won't brush her off as a lolsorandom girl and actually listen to her thoughts
>Tfw she keeps giant plushies to hug each night and imagines it's a different satyr hugging her to sleep
>>25453298
Kaos, to me, seems like the type who would fall for anyone if they're even halfway nice to them.
I can see why people wouldn't trust her, being Discord's daughter and all.
>>25453350
I factored that in my headcanon why she would be into polyamory. She wouldn't care who someone officially ended up with as long as she was getting her fair share of loving too.
>>25453380
huh... You don't say...>Tfw you O3P Kaos with Timber and Mumble
>Tfw you imagine her in the middle of a cuddle pile
>Tfw you remember that O3P baby, Connie, and imagine she gives herself kitty ears and other fuzzy animal parts
>>25453451
That's adorable and all and I'm gonna steal it, but why Connie?
>>25453474
Because her birth was Connie (voluted). I imagine either she gave Mumble a dick (r63 or futa) and had both of them creampie her. You know, no playing favoritism, she loves them both equally and wants her child to have the love of all her parents.I also imagine Connie is more "pure and innocent" than any of the Chaos spirits, so her 2/3rds big brother has to keep her safe from bullies.
>>25453501
>I imagine she either
>Only one option
Fuck. Was gonna say or surrogate mothered.
>>25453501
>>25453525
What would she even look like? Pony legs with a serpent tail and nubs for horns?
>>25438132
I had this idea where Simmer gets gored by a particularly nasty monster and has to retire early, much to his dismay. As for what he'd pursue afterwards, he'd probably just get started on his hoard to fill the boredom and loss of purpose until he finds something.
>>25453723
Good question. I imagine a mix of animals, like her mother and grandfather, but more cute and fuzzy than "grr, nature". Guys mind if we work together to create this cute monstrosity?Actually getting ideas for a story...Was thinking bunny or cat ears. A teddy bear arm and either a cat or dog paw.
>>25453736
Mmn, cat ears, bunny tail, horse legs, dog paw, bear paw, ram horns, and humming bird wings
>>25453884
... Fuck, that's cute. Horse coat/hair color?
>>25453934
Hair is a mix of white and yellow. Her pony coat is pink, her eyes are probably red like Kaos'
>>25453965
neat
>>25453736
>>25453884
>>25453965
Holy fuck, that sounds like complete shit.
>>25454815
>but muh armada
>>25454815
>opinions
>>25454815
I honestly agree.
>Connie is Kaos' daughter. She got the kid after she gave Mumble a dick so she could get creampied by both Mumble and Timber, so both of them are Connie's dads while Kaos is the mother
>This discussion about how she looks like
Seriously, what in the hell is this crap?
>>25455421
>>25437808
Cider I can see that she has to get up around six or so every morning for school to make the walk there Anon would usually accompany her there when she is in first grade and so on, however with the farm needing all the work it can get and Cider wanting to prove she's a big girl starts to walk to school. After school where she tries to do all her home work at school she comes home to do chores. Since she's still little that means she just helps in the kitchen, house chores and if that is all done she finishes offs the homework she might still have.
Science scores are good, but math gives her trouble and she gets frustrated when it doesn't make sense. English, sorry equestrian is funny as she will write with out periods. Try to tell her she needs to and she simply replies that she knows where it ends. Had to have a parent teacher meeting to actually solve that problem as Apple Jack had to explain that just cuz she knows where it ends doesn't mean Cheerilee knows.
Cider puzzles over it then nods, ok mom. Poor Cheerilee is flabbergasted as Cider had duh her hooves in about using periods.
>>25455483
>tfw no more girls kissing girls
>>25455483
Which satyr has the shittiest fetish that they always insist on inserting where it doesn't belong?
>>25455736
>>25455736
Either Snapshot or Simmer with traps
>>25455677
>Cider and Sapphire
>Broil and Glimmer>Possibly Ace and Darcy
>Thorn and Mudpie
>Dee and Treble
>>25455836
>>25455836
>And nothing of value was lost
> Walking inside the house you let Out a heavy breath as the air conditioning washes over your skin.
>"Howdy Sugar cube, you doin alright out there?"
> Turning you see your waifu, Apple Jack, resting on the couch with a blanket to cover her.
"How did you do the whole orchard by yourself?!"
>"Shucks Sugarcube, it not much but practice and hard work. Ah'd help ya but that darn doctor said not ta."
"It'll be fine hun, you just rest till you get your strength back alright?"
> Apple Jack scrunched her snout at you, "ah still don't like it darn it."
> Before you answer you hear a heavy clunk from up stairs.
"What was that?"
>"Probably Cider trying our her booties."
"Oh, are they supposed to be that loud?"
>"Course they are their mine old ones after all"
"Well, alright I'm going to see how she's doing."
> Walking over you rub Apple jacks head as you pass making the mare smile.
> soon entering Cider's room you look for your baby girl.
>>25455868
>no actual sloppy lesbian makeout from gator
Feels bad man
>>25455884
>"Pa!"
> Solid echoes of metal on wood thunder towards you before a small ball of satyr hits your stomach.
> Rolling with the blow you crouch and hug your baby girl with a laugh.
"Hey baby, hoe are you?"
> Cider wiggled her legs were you see the gloomy of light shining off brass booties that are held onto her hooves.
>"Un!"
"Yeah I can see that dear..."
> Setting her down you see Cider stumble with the boots and you frown, shouldn't be too bad she's only like one.
"C'mere baby lets get those booties off."
>"Yay!"
> grabbing the hoof you start to side it off the heavy horse shoe surprises you as it drops from her hoof to pin your hand on the ground
> How heavy is this thing?!
> Tilting your hand you manage to slide your hand free with a thunk.
> Helping Cider get the other shoe off you look at the two horseshoes, must be fifty pounds in there! How!?
CRASH
>"Uhoh..."
> You turn to see Cider standing with a hoof buried in the floor boards.
>"Dang nabbit Anon Ah told ya to leave those shoes on!" Apple Jack shouts out from downstairs.
"Crap, hang on baby..."
> Cider steps back again sending her other hoof into the floor.
> Christ it's like your kids is Hercules or something!
> leaping aft Cider you wrap her in a hug.
"Easy does it Cider, easy does"
> Your cut off with a yelp as Cider hugs you back crushing you with love, literally.
> You endure it and hurriedly grab the horseshoes after escaping the girls death grip.
>"Pa!"
"Yes baby, just hold still..."
> It was a listen to your waifu about raising children kind of day.
>Wood clatters to the ground from the hole
> It's also have to fix the floor kind of a day too.
>>25455929
>implying that would happen
>implying gator isn't 'no-ship' royalty
>>25455884
>>25456056
Good stuff, man, very cute.
Guys. I found a pic of Ivy with some huge tits.
Do you think ponies gossips about their friends' satyr kids?
What would you do if you heard that some pony was talking shit about your kid?
>>25457129
>putting in effort
>not simply intimidating the fuck out of ponies
Humans should have a natural bonus to bluff in ponyland, not to mention the benefits of being (at least) one size larger than the majority of the populace. It's practically a given that their DC is going to be shit too.
>>25457191
>Intimidate the fuck out of everyone who likes to gossip
What a great way to make many in Ponyville not like you.
>>25457265
I bet he's the human who rapes his daughter
I've seen her come into school in tears only to say she's had a terrible dream of hands carressing her.
The poor thing.
>>25457291
>I bet he's the human who rapes his daughter
That's a barefaced lie! Anon ought to wring their filthy little necks.
I do wonder if certain satyr's obviously affection and clinginess with their parents in public could be misconstrued.
>>25457359
>implying you can't break a child to enjoy it if done enough
Where do you think Gumdrop gets it from? If she doesn't fuck Anon, she loses her mind, thinking she'll be struck with a hanger or something.
>>25457265
They ran Gabby Gums out on a rail, I don't see why this is anything different. Gossip mongers deserve to have the fear of HFY coursing through their veins as they mutter the names of my family in anxious terror.
>>25457359
>could be misconstrued
That would imply that it wasn't what it looked like, so not likely.
>>25457499
Anon never raped his daughter, she was the instigator.
>>25457937
Exactly. This would usually be the case, because of HFAS.
>>25457937
>You will never wake up with your not so little girl lying with an arm draped over your chest and her head resting on your shoulder.
>She will never greet you with a half asleep "Hey daddy," as she slowly stirs beside you.
>She will never ask you what's for breakfast.
>>25452967
>Shouldn't Icarus or Prism be as strong, with Pebble argurably being the physically strongest satyr of all?
Physical strength is fucking wonky in the show. Big Mac was able to drag a house along with him in Hearts and Hooves, yet if I remember right he had trouble moving something much lighter in another episode (I for the life of me can't seem to remember when and what it was).
Then Maud was able to hurl a boulder single handedly in Maud Pie yet had trouble pushing Holder's Boulder up a hill in the last Christmas episode with the help of over half a dozen others.
It just seems kinda pointless to me ranking who is stronger than who based on their pony parents. Plus individual interpretations also makes it a moot point.
>>25457435
Gabby Gums printed everything on paper so exactly everyone in town could read about it. This is mindless chatter that passes from pony to pony.
Alright. What if they talk with their friends about real things that has happened that involves your satyr kid?
>"Did you hear what happened at the school today?"
>"Yeah! There was a big fight between a few colts and a satyr."
>"I heard that it was Anon's kid that started it, which wouldn't surprise me since that satyr seems to be a little short-tempered. The child must've inherited that from his father."
>"Really? Well, I heard that..."
>And so they chatted on for all of eternity
>>25452967
>Shouldn't Icarus or Prism be as strong, with Pebble argurably being the physically strongest satyr of all?
Only if you want the satyrs to be like copies of their parents.
>>25456212
Great, now I want to see Ivy as Ivy
>>25455736
Muddle with his constant obsession with licking and fondling asses and assholes. But God fucking help you if your ass is dirty in the slightest. He goes full "REEEEEEE!!" And throws a tantrum if it isn't spotless.He hasn't even done it but the idea gets him off and nothing triggers him more than people shit [hue] posting dirty buttholes
>>25458493
Lucky for him all the assholes in porn are bleached
>>25458472
But... Ivy is Ivy
>>25458493
>>25458502
>"Aw yea." Muddle groans slightly as he jacks it, firmly biting his lip as he clicks through picture after picture of mares, dragons, gryphons and Snapshot exposing their anal glands to the camera.
>Edging he quickly brings up his favorite finishing photos before noticing somebody posted a spoilered image.
>The thrill of something new called out to him as he clicks to image to see an amateur image of mare with some shit flakes on the inner ponut.
>Muddle sneers in disgust, letting go of his vice grip and furiously mashing on the keyboard "Oh cmon! Why the fuck would you post that you fucking troll prick! Why the fuck do mares not clean their assholes if they are gonna take a photo like that!?"
>He fills the Captcha and clicks reply as he sighs angrily before hiding the post.
>He then spent three hours arguing back and forth with other posters and didn't orgasm.
>Today was another day on HayChan
>>25458625
Yeah, Muddle would be the type to frequent imageboards. Probably /b/-type boards mostly, aside from porn boards.
>>25458625
>and Snapshot
Damn it, you let one guy photograph your asshole Just ONCE and suddenly it's printed in all the magazines and everybody thinks you're a massive buttslut! It doesn't matter if it's true or not, it's the principle of the thing.
>>25455756
>Not incest
>Not polyamory
>Not futa lesbians
>Not lesbians period
>Not gay stuff
>>25458974
As a gay man, I agree with all of these.
>>25455421
I just went with the second option with surrogate mother or just having the baby normally with Timber. But you have to admit, being the daughter of a chaos creature that disregards reality should give leeway to some weirdness.
>>25458760
>there could be a Satyr shitposting here RIGHT NOW and none of us would be the wiser
>>25460059
>he can't tell when a satyr's posting
Venus is on here ALL THE TIME
>>25460072
Yeah, who else is doing all the shipping around here? Some dude on a computer? Naw! It's all the princess of love!
>>25460072
Would Mistake also be an adamant shipper?
>>25460089
Obviously
>>25460125
Mistake posts aboutTimberandSimmerand gets off on the reactions.
>>25460208
>Changelings feed on love
>splice with human genes
>feeds on hate
Makes sense
What are some failed ships that you're sad they didn't take to threadcanon or they died out in hype?
>>25460357
>Ninja in some versions
>Feeds on hate
So she's scorpion?
>>25460373
>Garret/Pogo
>Laika/Snap
>Eventide/Alex
>Tonsils/Steel Cage
>Stormwalker/Starburst
And sadly each was mine.
In terms of not mine?
>Glimmer/Cider
>Thorn/Jay
>Kimmy/Anyone
>>25460373
There's the one that shouldn't be named because one anon will lose his damn mind.
Aside from that, I reallydon't care about shipping and think it's silly, but I do take mild offense to MMF partnerships being shit on when they're so few and far between as it is.
>>25460460
Which one? It can't be too bad
>>25460488
Even if dubs confirm, I bet it's the armada
>>25460506
Nevermind then
>>25460488
Nothing ever developed because I've tossed a couple over the years to test the waters but rarely got a bite. I admit they're mostly jokes, but I did a couple more in light of complaints about Timber being shipped with everyone, but the reaction was negative all but once. And that was probably because of the incest factor.
>>25460506
>>25460511
>shipping is silly
>must be the armada
pls
>>25460536
Yeah, incest shipping is kinda... Oddly enough, taboo. (And agreed. >that logic leap tho.)
>>25460373
I liked this one before it was solely about the abus. I just sort of took Blare as a relatively tough love sort of person that had yet to warm up to her friend. I still think this one was the betterand much more interesting outcome other than pairing with Ivy or his sister. Other than that, I really liked that Alex x Kai (Kimmy R63) fic. It's the main story that drove me to the thread.
>>25460436
>This one is still really talked about since Pogo doesn't have a concrete relationship
>This one was cute, but I never really got the connection other than they're both into gemstones
>I haven't seen enough of this one to form an opinion since it's rarely talked about
>I was never really partial to this one since I felt Steel Cage had a particularly weird concept as a character
>Again, I've never really seen anything substantially developed from this and wouldn't get the connection initially
All of the ones you mention after that I still see as good ships, but just aren't as talked about other than that one Kimmy x Anon guy. I think she and Bucky or Pear would get along during their apple pie deliveries to the swamp.
>>25460460
Is that that one ship with two of Flim and Flam's satyrs getting paired with Starburst?
>>25460619
I liked Simmer/Blaire because they are literal opposites of each other.
Yeah the abuse was shit, yet I saw Blaire as the girl who acts out for attention (I have a similar idea for Kaos as I can't characterize worth shit).
>>25460575
Thing is I would have run with any of the other ones for at least a story or two but, I don't care enough to do it for myself.
>>25460619
Nah, it was straight incest all the way through.Ratchet/Rocket/Ace with a Hotshot option
>>25460709
Tough girl on timid guy is my tame fetish. I liked how they always bonded over the occassional smoke and stout.
>>25460758
I'd pay money for a story like that.
>>25460998
I imagine you wouldn't be alone. It's just unapologetically smutty and I probably couldn't weave much of a narrative into it so it's always just, simmering.Plus it reinforces Ace as being a shotacon which, while amusing, got played up a whole lot and I sort of got burned out on it.
Additionally, your tame fetish is nice.
its been four years why wont you just -let go-
>>25461237
Thanks. Kinda sad we didn't get this with Simmer and Blare, but c'est la vie. As a side note, I've always had a warm nostalgic feel towards Buoy Belle. I don't know whether it's the innocent and unapologetic absurdity of her concept, or the fact the setting and feelings I associate with her, but I just get this really homely and comely vibe with Ding and cute freakish shark mutant daughter.
>>25461271
We love our daughterus and sonfus too much to let them go, anon.
>>25461271
See >>25461464
We are too determined. Yeah, we bicker and fight a lot. A small number even demand certain content be banned in favor of their own, but at the end of the day, there are too many of us who just want to see these little abominations. Even if the ones we enjoy are hated by others, we still love em.
>>25461463
>that image
Yes. Good dynamic there. It doesn't happen nearly often enough in this thread considering the sheer amount of girl-power Equestria has. But I'm sure that somehow, someway, eventually, we'll get something like that.
BB's a hoot though. And BitterGrandpaAnon is both amusing and feels worthy.
Bella and her stupid OC Kira "ColdSteel" AceKira is a OC of /emo/.... she's like the Sonic of thereand i hate her
also AAAAYYYY WE WANT SOME NEW DAY
>>25461627
AYYY WE WANT SOME NEW DAY
#BOOTY
You know, given the fact that we were talking about Unicorn Satyrs being potential ESPers, could we get some art of them doing that guessing game with the Cards? You know, like the one you see in Ghostbusters?
>>25461817
Ha. I'd imagine they'd be very juvenile.
>Inb4 they all have naughty words and phrases written on them
>>25461564
I've actually played with the idea of making Dagger, Shining Armour's satyr like this, a fitness instructor that likes to handle some of her clients a bit more intimately than others. Especially her new recruits. It's not her defining trait, but it's pops up enough to make note of it.
>>25461959
So Darcy, Dagger, Ace and Blare walk into a bar.
Twenty minutes later they're thrown out, battered, bruised and laughing their tails off.
>>25462314
Should we play the "mash a couple characters together and write about the outcome" game?
Because I honestly don't want to spend the next two hours play CoD.
>>25462327
Hold on, hold on. To clarify, I would love to do this.
>>25462327
>>25462335
I'm guessing the title's self-explanatory, but I've never done that. Sure though, I've probably got one or two.
>>25462314
Thus the legendary Thursday nights were born.
>>25462327
I'd like that if it's one or two posts.
>>25462327
I'm up for it.
>>25462361
>>25462362
>>25462406
Ok, so each of us will suggest one, and we pick what we like
Broil, Snap, Volupia, Cider
>>25462410
Lola, Alex, Orion, Asha
>>25462410
>>25462462
Okay.
Utah, Tonsils, Oliver
>>25462469
Ooh ooh, I like this one.
>>25461627
>>25461691
/r/ some /emo/ booty
>>25462410
Tonbo, Candy, Fiddle and Faddle
>You, Utah, lay resting on the grassy hill, your mother's hat shielding your eyes from the bright rays of the sun's set
>Beside you, a white-legged satyr girl kneeled quietly, not really sure what to say or do
>On the opposite side, your friend the owl, Oliver
>A breeze cruised over the grass and through the leaves of the tree behind you
>The girl scrunched her hands up tightly before clearing her throat as politely as she could
>"Utah, pardon me for being an indoor mare, but what exactly are we doing?"
>You smile and sigh lightly
"Relaxin', girl."
>"Who."
"That's right, buddy. Us."
>Oliver compacts into his feathers, cooing lowly as Tonsils held a questioning gaze
>"I really didn't expect this to be the type of thing you do when 'chilling out.' I expected some fake cowboys and indians type fun."
>Tipping your hat up, the sun making it's way below the last horizon line, you eye the girl kindly
"Momma says games like that are racist and not becoming of a youngin' like myself. Maybe a game of Battleship, though. Dad loves that one."
>"Who."
>Tonsils laughed at the harpy
>"He's never met your dad? Oh man, this outta be good."
>You eye the bird too
"Naw, he's met Daddy before. I almost wonder if all he can say is 'Who.'"
>"Now that's just pure nonsense, Utah. He's a smart, young man. If he has something to say, he'll say it. Right, Oliver?"
>"Who?"
>You jump up and pull up your trousers, then stretch a little
"Well in any case, last one home has to play my dad in the first round!"
>You jump to a start, leaving Tonsils behind you, stumbling on her hooves and rocks, Oliver cooing laughter behind her
>>25456707
This really should be finished.
>>25462462
"Rory, get ya kiester in geah!" Lola roars as she dribbles down the court. Far, far, far behind her, the son of Twilight Sparkle wheezes, his arms pumping in weak, uncertain spurts. Another two steps and he collapses on the ground, face first.
"Rory's down again!" Asha shouts, waving her hand over her head. "You two play half court, I'll get him back on his hooves."
Flicking a bit of red hair out of her eyes, Lola glares at the rather smug sphinx across from her. "So, it's jus' th' two of us."
"Again," Alex reminds her. "What on earth were you thinking dragging ol' Brain-Drain out here as your teammate?"
"He's good at math'n'junk," the plucky satyr says with a half-spit. "I figgered he'd be great at shootin."
"Yeah, well you 'figgered' wrong," Alex cackles, lunging for the ball with her wingtip.
"Ay! Tha's cheatin!" the redhead snarls, chasing after the whooping sphinx as she goes for a layup.
Hitting the ground with a thud, the larger girl grins at Lola. "In the wild, we call that survival of the fittest. But maybe you're familiar with this phrase instead: YOU JUST GOT SERVED!"
"Whateva, check me up."
As the two girls continue their banter, Asha squats down beside the still breathless Orion. Her dark hand rubs up and down his spine, earning a sputtering cough from the small boy. "Hate... Sports..."
"Oh come on, they're not that bad. Just those two are-" she pauses as Lola pulls off a rather spectacular jam on Alex's head. "-well, they're on a different level."
Rory grunts, resisting the urge to flop back on the cool wooden surface. He also manages to hold back the tide of bile roiling about in his stomach too, though who knows how long that will last.
Sensing his discomfort, Asha slides an arm under his shoulders and lifts him to his hooves. "C'mon, lets get you off the court for a couple minutes."
The tired boy's head bobbles as an irritated squawk rings out across the room. "What the heck was that?"
>>25462661
Standing over her downed opponent, Lola smirks. "My Dad taught me that one. Called it an ankle breaker." As Gilda scrambles to a standing position, the redhead lines up her shot and sinks it like a pro. Pumping her fist, she smirks. "Best three outta five?"
Alex is on her claws in an instant, snarling with a blaze burning behind her eyes. "I will CRUSH YOU, LITTLE PONY."
Manages the most unimpressed smile possible, Lola rolls her eyes along with the ball. "Feh, doubt it."
And so the game begins anew, this time a one-on-one as the two would-be-teammates watch from the sidelines. All in all, not a bad day, except for maybe Orion. But at least he's in good company.
>>25462661
>>25462672
Oy, thumbs up m8
A good work of their chemistries in whole
>>25462578
Who
>Satyrs have their first orgasm. How is it and how do they react?
>>25463376Garrett brays.
"So tell me, Anon, how can I help you today?"
>"It's not me we're here for actually. C'mon, Gumdrop, what's up?"
>His daughter fidgets in her seat, and mumbles under her breath. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, and pulls her towards his chest.
>"She won't tell me what's up, but she's been fidgety and uncomfortable all day."
>You sighs, and makes a few marks on your checkboard.
>Could've done anything, but you just had to become a nurse.
"Anon, I think... I think you should just head home. I'll have a few words with Gumdrop, and send her on after you when she's done."
>He looks down at his daughter, hiding a flushed face behind her fringe, and gives his arm a little wiggle.
>She grabs hold of his hand, gives it a quick squeeze, and nods her head shyly.
>"Alright, I'll catch you back at home. Thanks Red."
>He plants a quick kiss to her scalp, and leaves, shutting the clinic's door behind him.
"So what is it, Gumdrop? You were making lunch, naked, and 'slipped and fell'?"
>"...Was in the shower"
>You don't break eye contact.
>"...dad's vibrating toothbrush."
"Let me get the forceps."
>You turn around, and start rummaging in the cupboards
"fucking satyrs."
>>25463376
And that's Bonbon's kid.
>>25463376
>Expand image to fullscreen.
>Think of satyr.
>Close eyes.
>Randomly place finger on screen.
>See what you landed on.
>It's what your chosen satyr says during sex and/or orgasm.
>>25462410
Bump because I was excited to see this done
>>25462578
I really, really don't like the headcanon that Oliver can only say "who". You might as well just put
Owlowiscious there instead.
>>25463839
>After sufficiently scouting for a solitary cloud, the two Wonderbolt hopefuls eagerly watched their teammate zip down her uniform and reveal her heavily lusted after toned body.
>Stormchaser rolled her eyes at the gawking boys. "So what, are you gonna stand around like a couple of boozos or-AH!"
>Her complaints were immediately silenced once Icarus and Maverick lunged after their companion and started the festivities.
>"Shit bro, this-hng! This is not h-how I pictured my day to go."
>"N-neither did I-oh fuck..."
>"Hmhh..."
>Stormwalker scowls as Maverick's crotch slaps against her face once more, slick with saliva while smothered in between her breasts.
>Icarus, meanwhile, continues to thrust into her with the coordination of an epileptic chimpanzee.
>Meanwhile all she could do was quietly stew in her bitterness. It wasn't the fact that she was getting fucked by the most obnoxious couple of her high flying underclassmen.
>No, it was the fact that she had lost two consecutive bets in a row. The prize was initially just supposed to be a handjob, but she insited on having another wager after losing the first one.
>Sure, her cloud breaking skills might have rusted a little after that week long vacation, but never to the point where she would lose to two brats!
>"Holy crap Storm," Maverick pants while straddling ontop of her. "You don't know...how long I've jerked it to the thought of your tits! Aah, geez, y-you've got the biggest ones in the group!"
>Though more annoyed than turned on, the brash senior couldn't help but flush a little at the boy's quip, deciding to impliment her tongue on his cock more as a reward. The loud squelching sounds and gulping from her throat became even lewder as she bobbed her head faster and faster.
>"Sweet s-sassafras!" He struggled not to blow his load too early as he toppled forward, held up by gripping the fluffy ground of the cloud as support.
(1/3)
>>25464649
>"Dude! Fuck her boobs," the rainbow haired satyr says, grunting as Stormwalker feels the comfortable fullness throb inside her with every one of his thrusts.
>"I d-don't think I'm gonna l-last with how tight she is! Hoohoh man! Her abs!"
>Icarus' hand trailed up and down her stomach, slick with sweat, adoring the definition that only commited hard work can get you.
>Stormwalker blushed once again. Even though her looks weren't lauded over like a certain fireheaded female in their group, it was nice getting some recognition other than being the loud and brash one.
>With her limited anount of motion, she tries to grind her hips up and down in an effort to make this ordeal pleasurable for the both of them.
>And it was starting to be, for the most part, until...
>"Oh crap, d-dude...h-h-ha geez! I think I-I'm about to blow my load!"
>"Mmnn..." Stormwalker couldn't help but make a moan of dissaproval (which illicited quite a few from Maverick) as she heard it. Sure enough, the sporadic jerking of his hips attested to the fact that he was indeed close to orgasm.
>"Heh, why don't we cum on her at the same time?" Maverick suggested.
>"Say, yeah! We're both bros after all!"
>Oh no way, not while she's still wearing her uniform!
>"Mmn! Hmmm!" As both of their thrusts increase in ferocity, Stormwalker helplessly beats her fist on Maverick's thigh in an effort to signal him to stop.
>"D-don't worry love! I'm...j-just about...there!" Maverick groaned as he humped into her mouth. "Right! O-On the count of three! One!"
>"Gghah! T-twooo!" Icarus strained his face in an attempt to prolong his orgasm.
>"Mnnnnn!"
>"Three!"
>Both of them exit out of Stormwalker's holes with a slick pop and stand above her, rapidly squeezing their cocks up and down as they pant with pleasure.
>"Wait, stop, you-AAURGH! AGH!"
(2/3)
>>25464657
>Before Stormwalker could even hold her hands up in defense, she gets splattered by hot streams of virile cum. Both of them cover her face and tantilizing strip of skin and breasts with their thick loads, pumping their members to coax out every last drop.
>"Gaaaah! You idiots!" Stormchaser fumed. "You got it over my suit!"
>"Don't, ha...ha. D-don't sweat it Stormy."
>"Yeah," Icarus chimed, "you...could just...hoof! Get a raincloud o-or something. Wash off like that."
>"I'll wash off your guts from my hoof if you don't get me that cloud."
>"H-hey, what the-!"
>"Dang girl, watch the material!
>She grabbed them both by their shirt collars and hurled them off of their floating stage.
>"Right. Now!"
>"Alright alright, sheesh! Come on Icarus, let's hijack one from Dynamo's."
>"Hey yeah! He'll totally get pissed and chase us."
>"I know, right! It's fun watching him get buttmunched about it."
>This two of them laugh and leave in search of Stormwalker's cloud, which left the girl in honor groaning from the mess she's in.
>"I betcha Ace never has to deal with kids like these. God..."
(3/3)
>>25464686
>Caring more about your dude bro getting off than the girl
>Wanting to cum at the same time as him
>Being "bros" in the afterglow
Those two are so gay for each other. Poor Stormwalker, getting rap-yed by a couple of queers.
>>25464686
I cheated and picked the one I wanted. I might do other golden phrases later on, like:
>'Little boy spotted'
>'There are two asses in ny face!'
>'WHO DARES GRAB MY PENIS!?'
>'Here comes a virgin shota dick! <3'
>'You should take these sweaty clothes off and do something naughty with me. Then we can take a shower and have some pizza.'
>'Oh my!! Have a look at that greasy, hairy, sweaty, beast of a man!! Be still my throbbing loins!!'
>'...Wait. Oh shit! I've been surrounded by raging lesbians!'
>'I've got some cursed ham melons right here.'
>'That's improper homosexual behavior'
>'Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my tits! What were you saying? Haha.'
>'Before I knew it, I had a dream to rape a bat.'
>'This is clearly a case of lewdness disease.'
>'This isn't...an esophagus anymore...it's a sexophagus!'
>'PINK HORNY OVER DRIVE!!!'
>'Yeah...this is so lewd. It's kinda turning me off.'
>'You're looking at porn when you could be using your little sister instead! You're unbelievable!!'
>'This is...ULTIMATE MASTURBATION!'
>'Today, many virginities were taken.'
>'Please insert y...your holy sword down here which is now soaking wet...'
>'LET SHE...WHO DOES NOT LIKE DICK...CAST THE FIRST STONE!'
>'Um...will you please...give me a hand on sex-ed lesson...?'
>'WHY IS EVERY SINGLE GUY IN THIS GAME GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!?'
>'With such cuteness, gender means diddly-squat.'
>'There's no way you could swim with a boner like this.'
>'But the chances of me being completely destroyed by your monstrous dick was a bit too high for my liking.'
>'Hey! Don't go calling my dick monstrous! It's perfectly normal!'
>'Oh shit...I just popped a boner...'
>'Holy shit! You're ten times the whore I expected!'
>'She's an angel! Fuck your opinion!'
>'Just relax and accept the fact that your being raped; it's easier for you that way.'
>'I-I'm supposed to take the lead...is this even rape anymore...?'
>>25465209
>'The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!'
>'Indeed, I just had sexual intercourse with mother, but don't you think calling me a motherfucker all of a sudden is a bit much?'
>'Her concious screamed for her to awaken and cover herself, but she felt as if she was in a hypnotic trance, fueled by a long suppressed desire to engage in INCEST!'
>'And the more I look at you...the more I fell in love with you! I raped you with my eyes! I fingered myself while thinking about you! I love you! I love you so much! I must have you!'
>'I know those hentai games I loaned you are amazing...but no matter how much you love them, those sisters won't come out of the screen! Open your eyes, man!'
>'Damn, I need to stick my dick in something.'
>'Goodness! You mean you're having sex with your little brother?'
>'I can stick three dicks in my mouth, and sing the national anthem!'
>'Patriotism like that turns me on.'
>'What? You mean you're getting boners unconciously?'
>'Be honest with me. I bet you have a cat tail buttplug laying around here somewhere, don't you?'
>'We're discussing penises. Do you want to join?'
>'Oh god, dick juice...'
>'*lewd blushy hand holding*'
>'I'm orgasming with my boypussy!'
>'If you look closely, this bitch's got great tits, dude.'
>'I just masturbated to the panties of some girl I don't know...'
>'This kid here is great rape material.'
>'I'll put my science in all of you!'
>'What is he, gay?'
>'And so, I came 38 times inside her.'
>'I'm not sure what's going on, but my asshole's in danger!'
>'I have an idea! Why don't you try popping a cherry!?'
>'D-don't get the wrong idea!! I didn't give up my virginity to you because I like you or anything!!'
>'Such a tsundere shouldn't exist! That's just too scary!!'
>'It's not like my hips are moving...because I'm feeling good, okay!?'
>'My boypussy feels good, right?'
>>25465214
>'I'm always saying this, but the goal of our club is to pursue the loveliness of traps, and to make known to the world the magnificence of crossdressing! Our objective is to be cuter than girls! With this theme as a basis, for now you two...make a begging pose on top of a desk and flash me you crotch.' 'On whose benefit?' 'My benefit.'
>'I had an itch down there and I just needed something to stick up in there.'
>'The second player slot is taken up by you giant brown tits. Better grow some fangs or something.'
>'I don't care if you're straight, or gay, or if you even like me! We are going to the Onsen, we are going to fuck and you are going to enjoy it!'
>'But...it's a sin to have tits this huge for a girl your age!'
>'Just shut the fuck up and let me fuck your ass!'
>'It felt like my entire insides came out of my dick...'
>'Okay then. Let me see that erect penis.'
>'No way! I'm not some kind of indecent woman who would tie you up so that I could do all sorts of unspeakable things to you!'
>'Bunga wunga! Bunga wunga! Rape rape rape hurrah!'
And the obligatory:
>'I have three size D batteries lodged inside my asshole as a defense mechanism. I call it The Shining Dragon.'
I think I'll take a satyr color request
>>25465237
>That last one
>Muddle gets caught doing his illegal mobbing (mistranslated from mopping) activities and goes to jail
>Scared of gay sex, he shoves three D batteries in his ass
>You told him it was pointless, because you thought he wouldn't get raped
>... Apparently there was a Minotaur there who REALLY likes the ease of drake ass
>Muddle screamed throughout the night as the Minotaur made him his girlfriend
>"THE BATTERIES! THEY DO NOTHING!"
>Thankfully, an Anon killed that Minotaur a week later
>Not so thankfully, it took a month and a half for all three batteries to leave his colon
>He had never appreciatted taking a dump as much as he did that day
