Your waifu has been sent to spy on you.
What does she report.
>>25410397
That OP is a faggot.
>>25410397
That I'm a massive faggot who sits at my computer all day.
>>25410397
>rape
>>25410410
>*Gasp*
>It's worse than I imagined, who know's what vile things this OP'S planning.
>>25410397
>faps to ponies, avoid at all costs
>>25410397
>Moondancer
She catches me...
>Eating a bunch of shit food
>Shitposting on this site
>Building LEGO
>Stepping on LEGO
>Playing LEGO Dimensions
>Playing Midnight Club 3
>Playing Need for Speed Undercover
>Playing Burnout Paradise
>Contemplate what I'm doing with my life, and how I'm perfectly happy with it
>>25410397
I love technology and a bit of astronomy
>>25410444
>love
What a faggot.
>he's fairly boring, no threat at all to the mission. >content to simply give belly rubs
>only a one-mare team will be needed to run distraction
>soooo...when do i go back to run "surveillance"?
>>25410397
>"He really needs to clean up his fucking desk"
>>25410397
>Anon, despite his abundant computer use, is an excruciatingly slow typer.
>Anon will sometimes use the same napkin with dinner that he used to wipe up his ejaculatory fluid earlier that same day.
>Sometimes Anon will generate life stories for his ejected fecal matter, before sending them on "the Great Journey".
>Discord has persuaded Anon that Granny Smith is flirting with him. Anon claims this makes him "moister than an oyster".
>From the beginning of every February to the end, Anon only greets his peers with terms like "Nigger" or "Nigress". He claims it was an important aspect of Nigger History Month on his home planet.
>Furthurmore, Anon also states that "Nigger" is another term for royalty. Anon has been permitted to address Princesses Celestia and Luna as "The Royal Niggers" to make him feel more welcome. However, ill-hidden giggles escape Anon whenever he says it, which is strange.
>That's all I have to report for this week.
>>25410549
>The Royal Niggers
>>25410549
>Moister than an oyster
FUCKING KEKELEY KEK
>>25410397
>"The faggot needs to go lower when he squats."
>>25410397
Anon spends nearly every waking moment either on his computer, playing video games, or watching TV.
From the looks of it, he has no friends and rarely if ever leaves the house.
Sometimes he drops whatever he's doing and just stares off into oblivion. I swear that when he does this, his eyes seem moist.
What sounds like muffled sobbing can be heard emanating from his room late at night, no doubt the sound of him crying himself to sleep.
In conclusion, Anon is a truly pathetic specimen and poses no threat to the crown, only to himself.
>>25410397
>"He's got somewhat radical beliefs, but doesn't seem very interested in doing anything violent or otherwise subversive."
>"He has weapons, but rarely uses them."
>"He seems to spend most of his time working, occasionally getting with various companions or doing common leasurely activities."
>"Friendly enough to me."
>"Conclusion: low threat."
>>25410912
So he's the average Joe Shmo?
>>25410985
I think that's pretty much how most people's report would go, so yeah, looks like it.
>"He refuses to make eye contact with me."
>"I caught him mumbling something about 'coming inside' in his sleep."
>"He seems to have a strong attachment to a patch of scruffy facial hair."
>"Despite 'wanting to go fast', he rarely exercises."
>>25410805
This hurts to much.
Unfortunately my waifu no longer recognizes me. Fortunately for me however she no longer recognizes those who sent her either.
>>25410805
Why you do this?
>>25410397
>"Why won't he just stop touching himself for 5 fucking minutes?"
>>25411390
Why can't you stop falling down every 5 seconds.
>>25410484
The horrorFor them
>"Um, Fluttershy reporting. From my observations, Anonymous spends most of his time sleeping and lounging around in an unwashed state until he is called to do something. He busies himself with pornography and posting angrily on the Ponynet. Strangely, he is obsessed with, um, fitness, namely lifting heavy objects, in pursuit of an elusive force known only as "gainz", the origin of which I have yet to determine. He is, um, an accomplished cuddler, and has a strange obsession with my anus, an interest that may take many years of field study for me - er, for the crown - to fully understand. It is for these reasons that I am, um, requesting that my assignment be extended indefinitely... i-if that's okay with you."
>>25410397
Day 3 in Anon's closet, still haven't learned a damn thing. Except he masturbates quite frequently... and he owns an Applebloom Plushie in er likeness. I, as her brother should be very concerned.
>>25411585
>anon goes about his life as normal, only occasionally hearing a strange "squee" noise
Rocks.
he's a faggot, end of report.
>"Tricia finds anon most interesting. He tends to be involved in many things that would make the simple non unicorn pony would struggle do yet he has a lot of free time. Trixie notices that he seems to live 2.5 lives as he keep certain social groups with a different type of personality. He both introvert and extrovert. Trixe has also notice a certain... Sexual overdrive as well, he pleasures himself in the morning and at night, both resulting in a load that is larger than what is believe to be anon's species. T-Trixie has also gotten involved and is surprised by his.... Likes. On a final note Trixie finds anon to be only a threat to those who hurt his family or friends.
>>25410442
>Midnight Club 3
>Burnout Paradise
>>25410397
>"Pinkie Pie's mission log: day one! Anon spends most of his time swearing at video games or computer code. All food so far has been observed to be thoroughly drenched in hot sauce. No cupcakes have received this treatment yet, but I remain hopeful!"
le bump
>“Thinks he's /much/ smarter than he actually is.”
>“Hmm?”
>“Oh no. He is smart, but he seems to labour under the delusion that he is the smartest person in the room, regardless of who is in the room with him.”
>“Some low-level military job, seems to pay well though.”
>“Two double wardrobes of clothing. Now humans /do/ wear clothes normally, but even by human standards that's excessive.”
>“Now, granted, some of it he made himself so it would have been cheaper.”
>“Not my style, darling. To many gears and fiddly bits.”
>“No, we're still talking about clothing.”
>>25413370
is that hot sauce thing of hers really cannon?
>>25415084
Season 1 episode.
>>25415224
Eh? How did I fuck that up? Season 1 episode 1.
>>25410397
>He wakes up and turns on his computer to shitpost on a site called 4chan, either about us, or something called pol
>He plays games for most of the day, when he's not fapping to us, or eating
>He reads books on the internet!
>Oh, should have known its porn
>"Only leaves home to pick up cigarettes and groceries."
>"Masturbates first thing in the morning, what a creature of habit he is."
>"Spends 12 - 16 hours 'shitposting' on an internet image board dubbed 'the chun', simultaneously depresses him AND brings him joy."
>"Sufficient data obtained, will attempt to collect a semen sample once he's passed out later."
>>25410397
Day One, I already hate every article of what anon calls clothing. They are full of holes, beer stains and cheetos. He occasionally browses a site called 4chins. He smokes some kind of magical green herb through a glass flask he calls a bong, smoking this herb causes him to smile, be extremely lazy and laugh at random stuff. I should investigate this further. He has friends that also partake in this ritual. What he is planning in this ritual or us right now is unknown. And not to mention his clothes are just terrible, TERRIBLE!! I am going to rearrange his whole wardrobe without his consent and fix this travesty to fashion right away! I will observe him further to learn more about anon, in disregards to his horrid sense in fashion. This is Rarity, signing out.
>>25410397
He just saved a ton of pictures of Toriel, I suspecr infidelity
>>25410397
>She knows what you fap to.
that i'm a nigger.
>>25410397
>Applejack
>This anon is horrifyingly lazy
>And a compulsive liar to boot
>He needs reforming.The main reason I love Applejack is how much she represents everything I don't have in my personality, especially honesty and work ethic.
>Reporting in, Anon has been confirmed for having a large phallus.
>Repeat, big dick confirmed.
>Attached with current log are more photos to study.
>There is no secual attraction from this agent though.
>None.
>An all stallion mind of mare.
>... If only there were more stallions around.
>All the god damned good ones are taken.
>Agent is not mad, though.
>Current surveillance shows-
>HE'S GONNA FAP!
>I can't allow such a rare opportunity to get a semen sample pass me by!
"Uh..."
>Looking down, you see Bon bon with your dick in her mouth.
>"Hai Abwon."
"Hey."
>"Soo... You woubn't miwn if ah suck yah dick, wight?"
>You shake your head and the mare smiles.
>"Bahnk you."
>She repositions herself and starts sucking.
>Every day with this mare...
>Not that you mind, you just wish she wouldn't run off RIGHT AFTER you blow your load!
>You're a cuddler.
>>25419547
This made me kek. 10/10
>Applejacks logs
>Reporting in for Anon
>Anon appears to be rather good at fancy mathematics. Drawing all sorts of fancy city folk symbols on his paper
>Every week he turns them into some special box with a hole in them at this big place with all sorts of fancy folks who all look very tired all the time.
>Anon likes to head out of town at least three times a week.
>While he's gone I rummage threw his belongings.
>Anon appears to have allot of pollo shirts.
>I smell them often so I can keep better track of him
>Oh celestia do they smell good.
>I have uhh, borrowed one for special study.
>I began to try and discover the source of his abilities
>While he is out I lick all his spoons.
>For umm trace evidence of performance enhancing substances.
>I've also taken to rubbing his undergarments on me, in a non sensual way of course.
>This is to brain wash him, uhh yea.
>Anon appears to not masturbate often, this is important because umm that's when he's most vulnerable, yea.
>I have only seen him do this a few times
>My I wish he did it more often.
>For research purposes of course.
>I uhh think that maybe a more hooves on approach to attaining additional info is needed.
>Will attempt to obtain semen samples
>For genetic testing of course/
>Apple out will report as situations develops.
Nothing because she doesn't exist.
>"Hehe, I am meggin da spy on Anenome :DD"
>>25410549
>From the beginning of every February to the end, Anon only greets his peers with terms like "Nigger" or "Nigress". He claims it was an important aspect of Nigger History Month on his home planet.
>>25419547
fucking kek/10
>>25420162
>Applejack lusts after Anon
I always imagined she wpuld be the least interested.
>>25416952
>implying that wasn't my plan
>>25420162
>>25422142
>Applejacks Log part 2
>Reporting back in on Anon
>In response to the whole 'lust' myth
>I am a proud Apple, I only want stallions as Celestia intended
>I mean who would want that monkey....that muscular, tall, fine smelling monkey man....
>You know, why arn't there ever enough stallions in ponyville?
>The only ones are either gay or already taken
>I wish that whole Apple incest thing was true
>My own brother is bucking tranny. I swear that boy was never right.
>Was that part of your plan too Celestia, take all the Straight Colts for yourself?
>Cause you can't join the guard if your into that funny business.
>I digress, I looooove celestia and her mandatory 'male service' policy.....
>I learned more about Anon today
>It appears Anon cares allot about his family
>Maybe he could be a good family man...
>You know i've been needing someone around the farm......
>You know he's started going to the gym
>Tarnation if these humans an't stronger than ponies
>I swear I think anon could lift a house.
>I wonder if Anon would let me feel his muscles...for spy stuff reasons...of course.
>I....I have to know how strong he is right?
>Oh my, I think he's finishing up another session at the gym.
>I better take pictures
>So...we get an idea of what where dealing with.
"Hey johhny, can...can I tell you something?"
>"What Anon?"
"I think someones taking pictures of me showering."
>"Not this shit again. Look, what makes you think anyone would want to see your dick?"
"Yea....yea I guess your right."
>Anon goes into the gym shower
>Various camera knows can be heard
>Along with muffled horse noises.
>it seems like Anon most of his time at his home!
>he doesn't ever go to parties, he just talks to his friends over "Sky puh"
>he does go to a big fancy school for drawing stuff though!
>anons drawings are super duper good, and he's trying to make cartoons or comic books with them!!
>maybe i should ask him to draw me...
>anyway! Anon doesn't seem dangerous, he just needs some excitement in his day!What I love about Ponk is that she is the polar opposite of my day to day life. She's random and happy while my life is just mechanical and boring.
>>25423218
Oh sexualy frustrated applejack
Why are you so cute
>>25423395
>>25423218
>Applejacks logs part 3
>In response again to the crowns accusations
>I am not sexually frustrated
>I rub my apples out same as any mare form town.
>Why of all the rude things high command could say to me.
>I've had plenny a stallion in my life.
>Well I mean I hadn't, but....that's no reason to make accusations.
>I digress again though
>I have decided to take the next step in our investigations and interrogate Anon personally
>I'll be wearing a wire in order to keep a log of the conversation.
>Location of meeting is at a local restaurant....to lower his guard of course. Can't have him going and thinking i'm spying on him or nothin
>"Hi Anon, how have yooou~ been?"
"Fine, you said something about an investment opportunity on some farm land over the phone?"
>"Ohh it's more of a time share, you know we could share some time together~"
"What?"
>"I said it's an apple farm, and you could double your profit."
"mmkay."
"Say, I didn't know I was supposed to dress up for this. That's a nice dress though."
>"You like it? I wore it just for you."
"mmmhmmm."
>An akward silence begins
>"You have nice eyes."
"Just tell me what kind of share this is."
>Applejack begins to rub Anons hand.
>"Well sugar it can be anything you want."
"I think where done here."
>"No wait come back!"
>Applejacks logs
>Anon appears to be pretty savvy with matters of business too.
>I wonder if he noticed my dress.
>>25423744
Moar lusty Appul
Is cute
>>25423744
Need more about Apples 'taking one for the team'.
>>25411597
big mac am not prwesd
>>25410484
>9gag watermark
Come on, Anon.
>>25410397
probably that Im very boring.
I barely leave my room these days.
I work from my room, even.
>>25410397
Tfw designer but for the entertainment industry.
Rarara would probably hate how I sit at the desk in some kind of t-shirt and no underwear just in case I want to jerk off on a lunch break when I get a freelance gig.
>"All he does is play video games and... masturbate..."
I kicked Amon's ass, can't figure out mastery pages, and I cum; many times.
>"This Anon is... Wierd. All he does is go to some place where they teach him very few useful things, and he endures constant mental onslaughts by 'staff' who run the place, while the others there are crude, lewd-mouthed, and speak of drugs. He's tired when he gets home, he's sleeping early and waking up early, and he clings to me like a child."
>"Either he's a massive bout of edgy or Anon, at least the one I'm with, needs a real partner for once."
>>25424593
>"But he's been obsessed over PCs. The magical devices known as 'Computers' that can run "Windows, Linux, and Macintosh" are all familiar to him, with their expansive and vast placement with knowledge and utility along with availability."
>"I recommend we bring his talents over to Equestria, even if he seems extremely edgy or lonely. He can be a great asset to our technological development. I, in the meantime, am continuing to soothe this tired Anon with my music, and he seems to enjoy such a thing."
>"I think we have gotten closer, and I fear it could jeopardize the progress made thus far."
>"Sincerely, Octavia Melody."
>>25424573
what?
>>25411265
amnesia waifu green when?
spends most of his time dowloading music
and posting "dank memes"
has been searching online about pot
has 4 friends
>>25424915
Amon - Legacy of the Void SC II
Mastery Pages - League of Legends
Cum - When I touch my peepee
>>25411390
because that bubble butt is too good to resist
>Survailence log, 11/13/2015 Earth Time
>Subject spends most of his time on a computer, on a "site" called "Four Chins" I have yet to figure out what this means
>While not on Four Chins,subject occasionally visits a small group of chickens. When they misbehave, subject mumbles something about punting to the moon.
>Subject spends much time while on Four Chins stroking a small clay statue of what looks like a ruffed grouse crossed with a brontosaurus
>Further survailence required.
>>25426000
>a ruffed grouse crossed with a brontosaurus
what?
>>25424516
>"And I've never been more turned on in my life."
>"He masturbates and cries a lot."
>>25410397
Hidden Love letters.
Forgotten pictures.
>"He has a lazy eye! He looks just like me!"
>"Oh...he stutters a lot and other people make fun of him for it...Like how no one wanted me to talk."
>"Oh...he hides away a lot and talks to himself."
>"He hides behind juice that makes him act funny and refuses to go outside a lot of the time"
>"I think he needs a hug">"At least he has his white privilege."
>>25426656
Word's that kill, will you speak them to me.
>>25410444
Them trips have been witnessed
>Super Spy Pinkie Pie's reporting!
>Anon seems to be a really lazy guy
>Like, he woke up on a couch, then went upstairs to sleep in a bed.
>Then he woke up again just to fall asleep AGAIN
>In his care are currently two snuggly dogs that seem to really like him
>They seem to make him a grumpy-grump-grumppants despite all his petting and babytalk, the smaller one especially.
>He watches a lot of moving pictures on his foldable box he calls "Lappy"
>His current interest seems to be about a stocky skeleton from something called "Undertale".
>From what I can tell he's a very punny character, I wanna meet this Sansy guy, sounds like we'd have a great time!
>Like most other investigated Anons, this one seems to Jerk the Boneless to stories and pictures somewhat resembling us.
>Yeah, I know how they got our images before we did, but I Pinkie Promised not to tell~
>Ooh ooh! I almost forgot he also communicates with others through his "Lappy"
>One of his favorite methods is through "OOC and IC Chat" where they apparently act out scenarios with characters they made up
>And I'm one of them! They gave me a wizard boyfriend, it's all pretty silly.
>Nothing else seems very impressive though, will keep investigating though!
>*click*
>The ponies around Pinkie stare at her like she did something very wrong
>"What? I spied on him like you all said!"
>"Pinkie, you didn't ONCE try to seduce or interact with him?"
>"WHAAAAAAT? Twilight, that's LEWD! Don't make me get the spray bottle I use on Gummy when he's being naughty!"
>Everyone else present groans in disbelief.
>>25427881
>Log #2
>I can currently see Anon, sitting down on his bed with some long metal thingy!
>I've thought about what Twilight said, and decided to try saying hi today!
>I've been watching in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike and be friends with him!
>-Ooh, ooh, he said something!
>What'd he say??
>Stealthy Pink mode!
>"...No friends, no future... why even live?"
>Huh, that's a silly question!
>And how does he not have friends?
>EVERYPONY has friends!
>OOH, maybe I could introduce him to MY friends!
>He's putting the metal tube thingy in his mouth.
>Is he trying to eat it?
>It doesn't look that tasty...
>Maybe I can bake something for him back in Ponyville!
>"...I'm coming, Equestria..."
>Ooh, is he going to TRAVEL to Eq-
>*BANG*
>>25427881
>>25428114
I didn't ask for this feel...
>>25426000
> no one checked the trips
>>25428114
>"Anon seems... conflicted."
>He has thinks he likes to do, but nothing that he has a passion for.
>He likes to type new stories on his com-pew-tur.
>He likes to talk.
>He likes to play the video games.
>He likes to pet ponies.
>A lot.
>I see him frequently pat a pony's head or scratch their neck or behind their ears.
>He just seems to do it instinctively.
>Could humans be naturally inclined to pet things?
>I will try to experiment with this idea, but how?
>For now, I watch him have lunch.
>He is quick to join if invited by others, but otherwise keeps to himself unless he has a question.
>Surprisingly passive for a meat-eater.
>Does this mean humans are more like ponies than we thought?
>Lily made a flirt with him, but he didn't realize it, or maybe he was just playing dumb?
>I sent Daisy to sit with him and Lily and he still didn't pick up on a single hint.
>We left the diner talking about stories from his home before parting ways.
>We will continue observation throughout the next month.
>Keeping watch on sweet, innocent Anon.
>He wanders around without significant purpose.
>It must be frustrating not having a cutiemark.
>Do all humans lack a sense of purpose?
>I will have to try to find out.
I like this thread.
>>25430635
any thread with green is a good thread.
>>25410397
Me jacking off 4 times per hour, continuing even when I get no pleasure from it because I have nothing better to spend my time on
>>25429868
She wants a kissy
>>25431093
Are you me from the future?
>>25410397
>"He just... doesn't do anything... at all."
>"His life appears to be completely void beyond video games, the internet and porn."
Why are so many of these depressing?
>>25434821
Where do you think you are?
>>25434821
>>25434821
It's just a prank, bro!
>>25429868
>Do all humans lack a sense of purpose?
B-bruh...
>ponies meet up and compare research
>"T-then I watched him masturbate to me for a while, oh it's so hot hearing him say what he wants to do to my flanks."
>"..Why are you all looking at me like that? That's 'research', isn't it?"
>>25435994
Who is that semen demon?
>>25436046
Batoria. Don't know the name of the show she's from, just that it's german and never got an english dub.
>>25436085
School of vampires, made in germany, italy and luxembourg
>>25437016
>school for vampires
Ftfy
>>25434821
>Asking why on 4chan
Do honestly think everyone here is telling the truth?
b
That I'm a shy and socially awkward manchild that masturbates twice a day and pretends to be a girl when playing online games and that during ERP sessions on said games I tend to do a bit of method acting over the voice chat (I have a very good voicechanger application) involving bottles of Neuro.
>>25438546
>that during ERP sessions on said games I tend to do a bit of method acting over the voice chat (I have a very good voicechanger application)
Is it wrong to ask about this kind of thing? How do you even get into doing this?
>>25438620
My guess is desire for free shit and fetishes.
>>25438761
It actually started out because of the former and then as time went on it became the latter.
>>25438546
I am confused by the bottles of that stuff.
>>25438875
How does that equate to free stuff?
>>25410397
>w-what's he doing with the plastic phallus?
>don't tell me he's gonna put it inside
>o-oh my, it slid in rather easily...
>>25438893
The bottles are somewhat phallic-looking. I only use them when I'm sucking off another player though.
>>25438899
Players tend to be nicer and give you free stuff if they think you are a girl. I managed to get a nice set of armor and weapons on Mabinogi that way.
>>25438966
I hear it in the voice of that shit Fluttershy. Gah.
>Operation: Spy Anon reporting in
>Anon is monologuing about how his name isn't important but what he's going to do is
>maybe he's going to throw a party!
>>25438976
Got any tips? I might do this one day.
>>25439059
Pinkie Pie, get off the channel. It's for professional agents.
>>25423218
>[Muffled Horse Noises]
There should be a picture for this.
>>25439089
Well, first thing I would recommend is studying and imitating a girl or girls you know in real life and blending that with some of your normal personality. I was able to create a girl persona based on the two years I spent in my high school anime club, 90% of which were girls and all of whom were oversexed yaoi fangirls with a few other bizarre fetishes and the resulting persona was a shy yet hyperactive shotacon that liked to watch little boys eat ice cream.
The majority of tumblr users are much the same way so studying the posts of some of the few non SJWs might be a good starting point if you don't know any girls your age or younger IRL.
>>25439677
I was friends with SJW tumblr grills for highschool, they chilled after freshman year and became great friends. They were oversexual lesbians who loved yaoi.
I think I've got it.
>>25439738
Well I'd recommend ommitting the lesbian part, or at least say you're bi. Male players won't bother to give you any special treatment if you don't present yourself as romantically approachable.
>>25438546
>>25438976
>>25439089
>>25439677
>>25439846
>>25439846
Good point. Got a brother who I could pose as a sister couple with. We play a lot of the same games. What's this about a voice disguise though?
>>25439891
I use a voice changer program called MorphVOX to sound like a girl. It creates a fake audio receive device that you can set your game or VOIP program to use as the designated microphone.
It made my voice sound convincing enough to play a prank on my uncle by calling his wife via Skype pretending to be his girlfriend. She actually believed I was a girl up until I revealed my true identity and demonstrated the voice changer by switching voice profiles during the call.
>>25439977
Wow, that's pretty crazy.
>>25439846
Of course not a lesbian, but bisexual works very well. Nothing gets young stupid highschoolers harder than older college bisexual grills.
>>25439977
>Take interest in new software
>$40
Free link that won't cripple my computer?
>>25440160
They have a free version with limited functionality, but I recommend the paid version since it provides more settings you can tweak to make your modified voice sound more convincing. Unfortunately I don't know where to obtain the pirated version from.
>>25415313
>"Masturbates first thing in the morning, what a creature of habit he is."
Fuck you. Sincerely.
I've tried to masturbate of morning wood like thrice, and ended up with a conclusion it doesn't fucking worth it, as it takes over a hour and a half minimum.
>>25440212
Ain't that some shitfor you
>>25440194
How do I tell if I have the free or pro version? I might have just found a working crack.
>>25440484
The free version is called MorphVOX Junior and it's shown on the left. The paid version is called MorphVOX Pro and it's shown on the right.
>>25440212
Fucking this. Although, if I wake up at, say, 7 AM on the weekend when I don't have to be up at all, i absolutely love fapping then nodding right back off.
>>25440625
Looks like my crack worked then. Awesome. Now for a thorough virus scan.
>>25440212
I know that feel. That's why I bought me a pocket pussy. It does wonders.
I recommend you get horse pussy versions though. Gotta stay consistent.
>>25428114
Shit nigga.
>>25410397
>Ahnon never seems ta do much; he mostly sleeps. Weird ape's got as many critters as Fluttershy, but he keeps 'em on a farm, an' it's onleh a couple species, but with mul'iple breeds. There's even a couple rows of fruit trees, with three apple trees growin.
>When he gets off his ass and does anything, he moves in bursts and roars lahk a manticore on cave dust, but he mostly just lies around.>>25418575
mah nigga
>>25410397
B-but, I don't have a waifu
>>25442064
>I don't have a waifu
Get out.Unless you have a husbando, then you can stay.
I want to cum inside that Derpy stuttering man.
>>25442064
>no waifu
I feel for you mang
>"Lyra's Report Day 5 on Earth 10:31 PM local time"
>"I've been watching him for a couple of days now, studying his routine
>He doesn't do much other than work, going to school, and playing video games and seems to be content with just being mediocre
>He isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, often forgetting things and losing track of time
>My issue is that he doesn't really show much about himself, preferring to always keep his true intentions to himself and himself alone"
>Also he needs to fap to me more often. I'm his waifu no?
>I'll need more time to dig deeper. Lyra out"
>>25443774
Anon wakes up every morning with sticky hands and has no idea why.
>6 AM: Anon Wakes up, does shower, eat breakfasts.
>6.45 AM: Anon leaves for work
>9 AM: breakfast with his co workers, they talking about random facts that's clearly wrong.
metal isn't suppose to melt that way, though.
>11 AM: 7 minutes coffee break
>12.30 AM(?): Anon and four co-workers eating lunch. again,
>2 PM Anon makes a mistake and being scolded by his boss.
>4.30 PM: Anon drives him in his crappy little car
>5 PM: Anon reaches home, his flat is one giant mess with cardboard boxes everywhere, dirty laundry, and dishes that reaches the roof.
>5,10 PM > 9 PM: Anon is just lying on the sofa, crying, wishing, thinking he could do better.
>10 PM, he finally sleeps for a new workday tomorrow.
>>25443774
or alternatively, lyra could just suck his dick.
>>25443783
Perfect
>>25444028
Wow your life sucks
>>25441955
>"And I've never been more turned on in my life."
>>25444028
>Cardboard boxes
At least this Anon mastered tactical espionage action
>>25426876
Sheeeeet you broken mofo famm
bemp
He's still just sitting.
And he's still just masturbating.
>>25410397
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLO7tCdBVrA
>>25432717
Are you me
>>25454025
I think that is a lot of us.
>anon likes to wear buttoned shirts and shorts or tracksuits and long pants in cold weather
>anon usually only leaves the house to go to college, and grocery shopping
>almost everyday he spends sitting infront of the computer, watching videos, playing games, or looking at pinball machines
>collects Arcade game cabinets, andvinyl records
>anon tells me how much he wants to get into collecting and repairing pinball machines
>listens to music with satanic symbolism
>constantly tells me he wants to get revenge on someone who wronged him
>is otherwise very well mannered and kind
>knows how to make a mean pizza,and hamburger
>he's not a threat at all, but he needs to exercise more
>>25454025
>>25455244
>waifu's meet to compare research
>wonder if we're all possibly related because lives so similar
>>25410397
"Subject wakes at 10-11 AM every morning. After lying in bed for half an hour, subject then dresses for work and leaves. Subject has been spotted at his place of employment from as few as 8 hours to as many as 16, for 5 days a week.
He then comes home, takes multiple anticonvulsants, and relaxes on his computer until 3 AM. Witnessing one of these 'seizures' is a terrifying event, one I hope not to repeat in the future. Subject just shrugs them off, however. At 3 AM or after an 'event', he proceeds to bed to cuddle with me, call me his 'Little Star', and then fall asleep. Spike, redact that last statement.
His days off of his job, which from what I can gather seem to be random, are mostly spent taking walks around town. On weekends he is accompanied by his brother, otherwise he is alone. His 'range' is roughly 5 miles, give or take.
Subject is friendly and occasionally appears to have limitless patience, though there are points when his patience does become exhausted. Once this occurs, subject becomes visibly and audibly irritated. Once the irritant is removed subject cools down rapidly, though some biting sarcasm remains for hours.
He seems sad and distant at times, though quickly cheers up when someone catches him. I suspect he's hiding something, but what that something is requires...further investigation.
Subject is physically unremarkable, even a little on the weak side. He has a stubborn streak a mile wide when it comes to physical labor despite this, which has resulted in an injury at least once during my observations.
Overall, I deem him a non-threat to Ponyville in specific and Equestria as a whole for the time being. Further investigation is required, however, and I...look forward to carrying it out."
