Thank you for shopping with Hassenfeld Brothers Bio-Engineering Specialists!
Congratulations! Your new My Little Pony© is sure to bring you years of joy!
Please, carefully read the instructions before opening the patented Cryo-Box containing your pony.
-Allow at least one hour of uninterrupted time in a secluded, quiet area free from distractions. Your My Little Pony© is designed to begin imprinting upon release from its Cryo-Box. Place the Cryo-Box on the floor, carefully open it, and sit nearby. Your pony may sniff, nuzzle, and lick you as imprinting begins. Do not leave the area. You may gently touch your pony.
-Your Cryo-Box doubles as a comfortable nesting bed for your pony!
-Each pony comes with a 6-week supply of Xtreme grade nutrient paste designed to accommodate the rapid growth process. After the nutrient paste is used, your pony may switch to a normal diet (see Appendix A for recommendations)
-Your My Little Pony© begins its life as a wonderful little colt or filly! You may allow your pony to grow naturally, or you may use the provided Rapid Growth Accelerant to mature your pony to stallion / mare age in a matter of weeks!
-Your pony is engineered to love and support you. Please allow 3-4 weeks for colts and fillies to age before engaging in sexual activity. If rapidly aging your pony, sexual contact may begin after 2 weeks. Be gentle with your pony!
-Every night, place the Language-Assistance headphones on your pony for at least 30 minutes to teach your pony proper speaking skills.
-DO NOT REJECT YOUR PONY. REJECTED PONIES MAY HAVE VIOLENT TENDENCIES. IF YOU FEEL YOU MAY HAVE UNWITTINGLY REJECTED YOUR PONY, PLEASE CALL BIO SUPPORT AT 555-PONY-4ME IMMEDIATELY!
>>25377703
How much would one of these cost, anyways?
>>25377719
920,000 dirham
>Please allow 3-4 weeks for colts and fillies to age before engaging in sexual activity.
What I'd hate is that there will be people that will rape and abuse a very young pony who came out from the box.
That's why I kinda don't want to see stuff like this happen in real life. Seeing a pony get cold heartedly abused just saddens me.
>>25377703
what about the looks or the character?
they come whit a guide or catalog?
>>25377812
Yep
>>25377703
Its the fluffy ponies all over again
>>25377792
I would love to rescue one of those, just to rape her senseless when she thinks everything is okay
>>25377828
what kind of feel is that?
>>25377835
Spiral.
>>25377873
you have it in hate version?
>>25377703
Dear Sir,
I have received my little pony two weeks ago. I am very pleased with my filly, and we're having lots of fun together. She's been doing a great job in learning things, language, she's curious about everything, and most importantly she is always happy, overjoyed from the smallest of things. I will never thank you enough for this gift.
However, as we spend more time together, I cannot help but wonder: what's the point? Don't get me wrong, I am extremely satisfied, and so is she. She loves learning, and I love teaching her and showing her new things. But I wonder what will ever come out of it.
Will she ever get to be a famous artist, even if she spends years learning arts and music?
Will she ever find her special talent, find the job she wants, and make a living out of it?
Will she ever become independent, buy her own house, buy her own food, pay her own bills?
Will she ever find a nice stallion who will love her as much as I do, and give her a new family to love, when I'm no longer here?
How long until she gets old and tired? Will I have to watch her die?
Have I been blessed with a child who will grow up and be accepted in society,
or did I buy a pet?
Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you again very soon.
Best Regards,
Anonymous.
>>25377703
>Bio-engineering
fuck that, I'm building my own silicon based pone.
>>25377973
Anonymous,
Thank for contacting Hassenfeld Brothers Support Team. We are pleased to hear how much you are enjoying your My Little Pony©.
Your Pony will require your care and attention for a minimum of two years, until they reach adult maturity, unless you use the Rapid Growth Accelerant. It is important during this time period that you are not separated from your Pony for more than an 8 hour period. Your Pony will need to spend time with you each day in order to reinforce the bonding process and ensure that his or her learning processes proceed smoothly.
Your Pony is capable of many things! Your basic instruction and language-assistance modules will help your pony fit in to society, but if you desire more than that, we offer a number of optional, specialized modules that can guide your Pony down a path that pleases you. Many talents are available, from the artistic to the scientific to utility.
Interaction between your Pony and other Ponies is highly encouraged! Owning more than one Pony, or introducing your Pony to the Ponies of other owners can soothe your Pony while you are away at work, and teach your Pony how better to interact with others!
Although your Pony is engineered for rapid maturity, Hassenfeld Brother's Patented Equine Health Genetics will ensure that your Pony enjoys a bountiful lifespan of 60 years or more!
Our Pony Reclamation Habitats are endowed for life-time care and living space for your Pony in the unfortunate event of your deceasement with your inheritors being unwilling to assume the responsibility for your Pony.
We have attached a copy of the manual and supplemental materials in case you have further questions.
Thank you!
>>25377792
that won't stop sick people from doing sick things
and many anons and ponies would miss out on some very rewarding experiences
>>25378195
This. Sometimes, people do good things for the sake of doing them because it's awesome.
>>25377703
Did anyone actually try to call the number?
>>25377703
Dear Sir,
I have received my box a week ago, and instead of a My Little Pony what I got was Big Boss. As in, a living, breathing Big Boss. What gives?!
All the best,
Anon.
>>25378339
Addn: forgot pic related
>>25378339
Whoops, looks like you got the wrong package. Our Big Boss© product line sometimes crosses over due to both using cardboard boxes as shelter.
>>25377703
From: Anonymous
To: Hassenfeld Brothers Bio-Engineering
Subject: Special request
Attachments: none
I would like to start off saying how happy I am with my young colt (he's just adorable), but I'm concerned that he would be less cute as he ages and I was wondering if your company makes anything similar to the rapid growth accelerant but with the opposite effect or a product that could stop the aging process entirely.
~Anonymous
Hey! Someone should use this as a prompt for greentext!
>>25378339
>>25378365
>Mean while at mother base.
"Osalot."
"Yeah."
"Why is there a pink pony smoking bosses cigar?"
>>25379513
I think that's the Big Boss I ordered
must have been some bad facial reconstruction
>>25379458
And then turn it into a daily thread!
>>25379458
>>25379583
good ideas
>>25379458
>>25379583
I like it just being a thread where people roleplay correspondence between the company and a user, personally.
>>25379513
>>25379555
Someone should make a comic of this
>Meanwhile, at Anons house
>''Keept you waiting huh?''
''Sure, but I wasn't waiting for you. I ordered a pony, not-''
>''A demon''
>>25379663
Should have gone with Adam Jensen.
>"Kept you waiting huh?"
>"I never asked for this."
>>25379513
And for god sake's Miller spell my name right
Would you prefer Adamska? or Shalashaska?
>>25377703
How do I deal with their poops?
>>25379980
They're completely efficient, they eat all of their own poop.
>>25380009
Can I eat it too?
jackie chan poop tulpa
>>25377703
How many dollaryroos? Where can I buy?
>>25380965
I imagine they'd be pretty expensive.
A few thousand at minimum, likely much more.
>>25377703
From: Anonymous
To: Hassenfeld Brothers Bio-Engineering
Subject: Product question
Attachments: none
I originally aquired my mare roughly five years ago, custom-ordered, when the 'product' line was first getting popular. Since then, she has both fully matured and grown incredibly attached to me, going so far as to desire a permanent relationship (I am fully aware that I cannot marry a product). However, she has pointed out that there are voids I cannot fill as a partner, namely procreation. I cannot afford (nor does she desire) a stallion to do the deed, and I myself cannot naturally provide her a foal. Adoption is also out of my pricerange, and would not satisfy the role of being a parent.
Is there a product or treatment that would give me the ability to give her foals? Some sort of magical potion, perhaps? I'd like to know ASAP, as estrus is just around the corner.
Best regards, Anonymous
>>25385336
Anon.....make green you fucking faggot
>>25385902
fuck that, I don't want Gentoo.
Hey Hassenbros,
I want a really big stallion for extra cuddle power. How much more will it cost to order a couple extra weeks worth of the nutrient paste?
Regards,
Anon
>>25386385
>>25386466
what, no
not like that
This kind of thing raises so very many ethical questions. I'm glad we'll be experiencing robotic weirdness a bit before bio-engineered weirdness... Mainly because even though AI's may achieve behavior something very much like real life, at least they'll have the resiliency of technology.
And hell yeah I wouldn't mind having a robot or two around in various form-factors. A bio-engineered pony? That one would require some serious ethical consideration first.
>>25378144
I noticed you didn't specify whether the ponies are pets or people. Hasselhoff bros confirmed for villain.
If the ponies were as intelligent and complex as humans, buying them, and fucking with their development is really fucked up. The mario bros were talking about them like they are machines. Dynamic but predictable, with superficial intelligience and complexity.
Personally, i don't want a glorified robodog. The whole thing is very unpleasant for me, a brainless thing which seems real.
I'm infertile, with a maternal instinct the size of the moon. I can't get pregnant, and the idea of adopting a strange child freaks me out, so the option of buying a foal is kind of appealing. But only if they are a real person, genuine thoughts and emotions and not aging drugs or other weird bullshit.
The morgandorfer bros seems like creepy fucks, they're catering to creeps with too much money, not children.
>>25386862
I don't give a shit about ethical questions, to be honest.
>>25386862
Normally I'd agree, but in this case...
I mean, I imagine the whole "purchase an intelligent species as a wife/daughter/pet" thing would only last until they start complaining.
>>25377703
SCP-4628: Hassenfeld Brothers Bio-Engineering Specialists
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Any instance of SCP-4628-A is to be obtained by the foundation as soon as it appears. Any involved individuals are to be administered a Class-C amnesiac. If any SCP-4628-B instance appears, it is to be obtained and involved individuals administered a Class-B amnesiac.
Item Description:
SCP-4628 is an ordinary shipping slip for a "Custom Bio-Engineered My Little Pony©". The slip itself has no known origin, as there is not record of the Hasenfeld Brothers ever existing. When filled out to completion and placed in a shippable container along with any object with the approximate value of?????USD, it will anomalously dissapear in synchronization with the nearest postal schedule. After 4-6 weeks, an instance of SCP-4628-B will appear. SCP-4628-B is a sentient equine. 4 varieties of SCP-4628-B exist: Unicorn (A bone-like protrusion at around the forehead area matching coat color), Pegasus (Wings matching coat color on sides, Earth (Visably increased muscle mass), and Alicorn (Combines characteristics of all of the above). SCP-4628-B instances with horns can perform "Magic" such as telekinesis and transformation. SCP-4628-B instances with wings can perform flight regardless of wing size or weight. All SCP-4628-B instances have a visible mark on the flank area. SCP-4628-B instances can perform tasks related to this mark with high ability, even if said ability would require high amounts of dexterity not possible with hooves. SCP-4628-B instances mature naturaly in a 6-month period, but will mature within weeks if fed the included nutrient paste included with the packaging of SCP-4628-B. SCP-4628-B instances are able to clearly speak the language of the country they were ordered from at the end of maturity.
>>25378144
>we offer a number of optional, specialized modules that can guide your Pony down a path that pleases you. Many talents are available, from the artistic to the scientific to utility.
Maid pony harem, here I come!
>look up "hassenfeld"
>hassenfeld brothers is the original name for hasbro
Neat
>>25388252
>mfw Hasbo is equivalent a name to Brony
>>25388166
Okay, you got me there anon, i keked.
>>25388166
>New, from Doctor Wondertainment...
>>25388779
>tfw hasbro is a front for Wondertainment
>tfw all hasbro toys have been anomalous for years and we haven't realized it
>>25388252
the more you learn
>>25390858
The more you want to kill yourself?
>>25385336
Fill your prostate with stallion semen
>>25391102
Seminal vesicles.
Can we get some green of this please?
>>25392254
>this
>>25392254
I would if I had time.
Writefags pls.
Screw the horse, I want that cardboard box. It looks fucking awesome.
>>25392739
>screw the horse
that's the idea
>>25385336
Wait.
Would any foals coming from these bio-ponies also mature in 6 months? Or would they mature normally?
>>25392739
Dear Hassenfeld Brothers,
I recently ordered a pony, but after its arrival, was unable to be around long enough to bond properly. It was a stock "Pinkie Pie" model. When I first opened the Cryo-Box, I was pleased to find her in peak condition. But recently, I have noticed a few changes. For one, her mane has lost its "poofiness," one of her distinguishing features. Her coat also appears to be a slight shade darker, and I sometimes get the feeling of being watched. Even so, she still acts the same when I am present, still the cheery, bouncy pony I had always dreamed of.
My question is: should I be worried? I've never heard of this happening before, so this is new territory for me. Please, message me back ASAP.
Your loyal customer,
Anonymous
>>25377823
If only. Those were the fun days.
deer hasbo
da pussy game bomb tho
yo nigga,
Anonizzle.
Hello, brothers Hassenfeld.
Last week, I was diagnosed with leukemia, most likely due to my smoking habit that I had kicked a year ago. Specifically, a month before I received, if I'm being grammatically correct, a My Little Pony(not sure how to make Copyright symbols, sorry) of my own. I have been raising her as I would my own blood-related daughter, and I have been stalling on giving her the news that I have half a year to live, god forgive me for that. Considering that she found me lying on the floor yesterday(I didn't faint, I just stumbled and couldn't be bothered to get up, so I slept, which is a bad sign), I doubt she'll dodge the subject for long.
My sob story aside, are there any arrangements I should make, other than who she lives with? I've been scouting some candidates, and my best options are a friend who lives in a secluded, but by no means lazy lifestyle, and a friend who has her own pony that, and I'm not going to mince words, seems to be the target of my pony's hatred. I have heard stories of ponies working out their problems in miraculous fashions, but I'm not going to put all my hopes there, especially given that she's good friends with my once-wife.
Are there any resources I can consult, especially on the subject of breaking the news to her? She knows the basics of life and death, but I never once discussed my death, even before being diagnosed. I'm not entirely too keen on pony psychology, but if she imprinted on me, then i don't know what will happen when I die, if that's not narcissistic to say.
For what it's worth, here is a picture of my pony. I named her Trixie. I just want her to be able to live.
Thank you for your time.
-Flud
>>25379663
"...So, Big Boss, huh? How come you're-"
>"Look, the title wasn't my choice. I guess they wanted to compensate on my behalf? Still, I'm sure I used to be bigger..."
"People shrink in comas."
>"True, but this was cryogenic stasis, unless you just threw that container I was in on a glacier during a coma."
>>25396149
>>25396149
>>25396595
Oh god, I know I'm going to get someone killed via suicide, but.Wr-writefags?
>>25396768
I smell quality green in the near future, provided this thread doesn't die
Bump.
Thread awaits greenies.
>>25377736
What about in América dollars?
>>25397550
Just over a quarter million.
>pony in a box
Isn't this a bit likeMy Little Dashie? Except for the sex
>Open box
>Hewwo! Be nyu-mummah for fwuffy?
>Close box
>Shake box
>Repeat
>>25398128
>Open box again
>fwuffy wan sketties
>close box
>throw into fire
Bhumpe
Can someone write actual green pls
>>25398667
actual green
>>25398697
T-Thanks anon :3
pg 10 and no green
damn shame
>>25377719
One fistful of shekels ripped from the hands of a pureblood hebrew
>>25377703
This is how fluffy ponies were created in the time before /mlp/. First, it was Hasbro's labs experimenting on ponies. Then, is was Hasbro making and selling pony biotoys. Then came varieties such as limbless and boneless ponies. And then the fluffies who are currently banned on this board.
>>25398608
>throw into lake of fire
>fluffy pony drowns
>>25399779
so a few pennies
>>25395338
"Otacon, my position has been compromised!"
>"Who found you? Liquid?"
"No, it's a squid that has some sort of subsonic frequency emitter in the shape of a clarinet!"
">Are you sure that he might just be bad at the clarinet?"
>>25392739
huh, i was wondering if this thread would ever come back
might post some green tomorrow
>>25392254
>>25392739
>Anon stood at the door with a nervous smile on his face
>The delivery was due any second, and with this sort of thing you couldn't just leave it at the door
>Every passing car was a target for Anon's wandering gaze, until it settled on the one
>The UPS truck
>It was here
>Anon sprang up and bursted out of the door, running with autistic mirth at the truck as it drove by his house
>His soul crushed, Anon fell on his knees and stared at the sky
>Before he could let loose the cries of his people, another truck came
>This one was a FedEx truck
>This one stopped at Anon's house
>Once again filled with mirthful glee, Anon leapt up and waited for the delivery
>The truck came to a slow stop
>Anon was in a frenzy at this point
>Like a lazily written story, he seemed to leap from thought to thought until he had the box inside his house
>Now was the time
>He was gonna open this shit
>Cutting the tape and pulling the flaps, Anon opened his box, the happiest manchild in the world
>But all was not well
>There was something in his box
>It looked like a really small horse thing
>In his cool box
>This wasn't a horse box!
>This was a cooler box!
>Disgusted, Anon throws away the little horse thing
>He sees a little tube of what looks like apple sauce
>It tastes alright, but "Nutrient Paste" is a really bad name for an applesauce brand
(Later that night)
>As Anon prepared for his slumber, he couldn't break the thought of that box from his mind
>His cooler box was great
>Made of the highest quality cardboard
>Filled with the highest quality cushions
>Also, apparently, filled with a horse
>What a weird thing to send in a cooler
>Sighing, Anon thought no more of it
>You can imagine his surprise when he heard the "Clip... clop..." coming from down the hallway
>>25403398
>implying Squidward wouldn't be a perfect Solid Snake, with his no nonsense attitude and refusing to learn karate/CQC
>>25404269
You have my attention.
>>25404269
>Anon focused his hearing
>The clips and the clops were coming to his door
>The level of the sound grew and grew
>Then, once whatever was making that sound was directly outside of his door, it stopped
>Anon breathed a sigh of relief
>It was the wind or something
>He didn't know, he didn't really care
>Turning his mind back to happier, more cube-shaped pastures, Anon quickly lost interest in the spooky noises
>Then his door opened
>Spooked, Anon immediately took action to defend himself
>In a matter of milliseconds he was hidden beneath his covers
>Nothing would find him here
>But something was amiss
>The box
>It was coming for the fucking box
>The very idea filled Anon with rage
>That some filthy little plushy, vaguely equine-shaped monstrosity would dare touch his box drove Anon to make a bold and dangerous move
>Slowly and carefully he peeled back his covers to reveal one eye
>With this monocular peek, he gazed towards his most prized possession
>There was a little horse ass sticking out of it
>Anon was infuriated
>That little bitch had done it now
>It went and touched it
>Anon's pride and joy
>The box
>Inhaling a great volume of air, Anon found his target
>Then he let loose hell
>With a great battle cry, he shot out of bed and stormed toward the box
>At least, that's what he meant to do
>Instead, he whimpered, flailed in bed a bit, got tangled up in the covers, fell off and nailed his head on the end table
>As the blackness encroached, one lone thought occupied his brain
>Unaware that visitors were coming, his brain panicked and started to vigorously clean up the room
>Unfortunately, this cleaning managed to catch Anon at a time when all of his facilities were in use
>Without even being able to recognize the thought, Anon let the cottony blackness of unconsciousness overtake him.
All for tonight. Might do more tomorrow but by god do I have to sleep right now
>>25404476
This is almost like I'm playing a crappy CYOA haha
bumping with accidental neglect.
>>25404269
>>25404476
jej
>>25404269
>>25404476
You have expertly captured my love of cardboard boxes.
>>25406105
who?
>>25377703
Dear Hassenfeld Brothers Customer Support,
I recently ordered the My Little Pony© product, but upon arrival, it appeared that my genetically-engineered Pony companion underwent some kind of mutation. The hooves were gnarled into thorn-like protrusions, and the hips and spine were terribly warped into an ascending position. Some of the teeth were deformed and much sharper than what was advertised.
The posterior vertebrae were elongated to create a thick and muscular tail instead of the flowing hair tail characteristic of ponies. In addition, the vertebra were elongated vertically, causing spike-like growths along the spine and up to the crest of the skull.
Finally, the skin appears to have lost all hair, instead keratinizing into a scaly, hard surface. I can only diagnose that the My Little Pony that I ordered appears to have a case of Harlequin ichthyosis. I have provided a picture to give a visual representation of the unfortunate creature given life. If at all possible, please respond with the steps to get a refund and either send this product back or euthanize it to put it out of its misery.
Thank you and have a nice day,
Anon Y Mous
>>25407165
>I can only diagnose that the My Little Pony that I ordered appears to have a case of Harlequin ichthyosis.
You would make a terrible doctor.
>>25378304
Don't know how common this knowledge is, but a number starting in 555 won't get you an answer. If you ever see a number in a movie or on tv, it most likely starts in 555
>>25406105
who is this semen demon
>>25404476
>Sweet dreams greeted Anon
>Dreams characterized by his favorite geometric figure
>The box
>How 12 lines could be so perfect he will never know
>The only problem is that these boxes weren't made of cardboard
>Or filled with apple sauce
>Apple sauce is alright
>In a flash, the boxes began to blur and disappear
>Within moments they were replace with the fucking horse
>Looking
>Watching
>Mocking
>Anon shivered in fear, turned tail, and ran
>Before he got far he felt the ground shake
>In front of him was the most majestic/disgusting thing he had ever seen
>A giant horse
>Made of boxes
>This one had a horn
>Neat
>As the box-hoof steps neared Anon, his running continued
>Why he thought he could outrun a 12 foot tall monstrosity is anyone's guess
>The real important bit is that no matter how hard he ran, the monster kept up
>At this point the box-hooves were nearing Anon's everything
>With a shrill cry, he was crushed underneath the pounding hooves...
>... an woke with a pounding headache
>Christ, he was pathetic
>Unable to even get out of bed to save his box
>Anon trembled in disgust
>And then heard a yawn coming from his head
>Anon hadn't yawned
>Anon snapped his head back and forth, looking for the yawner
>The source of the noise became apparent when the horse fell off of his head
BASED BOXFAG RETURNS
>>25411429
No, Anon, dont give up! Keep trying your best! The boxes believe in you!
Might also write something if thread stays alive.
I want to keep reading the feels ones.
>>25408325
I don't know, man...
>>25411429
Bumpin for green
>>25418164
sage
>>25406932
>>25410924
It was one of the speculated colors for wheaties over here.
>ten thousand years later i reply
Bum
P
Boop
Bed bump
>>25411429
>Anon couldn't believe it
>Not only did this... beast enter his house in Anons prized box, it had the audacity to sleep on his head!
>Disturbed, Anon stood up quickly
>His vision began to fill with red
>In a fit of rage, Anon began to scream and knock things around
>Sadly, all he was able to do was knock a lamp off of the end table and make his headache worse
>Neighing in fear the little horse ran away
>Anon wasn't having it
>Men don't let things enter their homes and get away with it!
>Either Anon did this, or he proved his mother right!
"I know you're there, little horsey..."
>Something under the bed made a clattering sound and scuttered out toward the door
>Just in time, Anon leapt forward and tried to grab hold
>Out of reach, but only just
>However, Anon was on the floor
>Not like it mattered anyway
>Coming through the door was the horse's savior
>Earth itself held its breath
>No one could have prevented this
>Anyone could read the first word of every line to figure out who it was, though
El Fin? I dunno, I have a shit ton of work to do and I don't even know that anyone is reading my shit (even though I don't know why they would).
>>25421818
>>25421818
GOD DAMN IT
Survive until the weekend, and I'll try to start >>25413402
Any specific requests for which pony?
>You filled out the form weeks ago.
>The unexpected demand for the first wave of Bio-Engineered My Little Ponies caused quite the delay in meeting orders.
>But you got yours in and after more than 10 years of waiting for this kind of technology to be affordable you could wait a little longer.
>You spent hundreds on the pony, but after re-purposing the spare room for her the total was well above that.
>You hope it was worth it.
>You sit on your old Laz-E-Boy recliner and look out at your street.
>All's quiet, leaving you with just your thoughts as the sun peaks through the clouds.
>The mail arrives precisely at 11, like always, but today the man carries a sizable box.
>You meet him at the door and sign for the package.
>You thank him and he leaves with a tip of his cap.
>Closing the door, you carry the box to the pony's new room and gently set her down.
>You open the box and lay eyes upon you new friend.
>She is curled up on a makeshift bed made up of a deep blue blanket showing the moon and the stars.
>Her eyes are closed and her body shifts slightly with breath she takes.
>She arrived intact.
>Horn on head.
>Tail on butt.
>Totally adorable.
>You breathe a sigh of relief.
>Maybe this time things will work out.
>You shut the flaps and let the purple pony continue to slumber.
>>25422283
>It's nearing noon and you're hungry.
>In the kitchen, you turn on the oven top and grab a pan to make up some grilled cheeses.
>The smell of butter wafts through your home captivating the other member present with its new aroma.
>She pokes her nose up through the box sniffing to locate the smell.
>She climbs out one hoof at a time, unsure of her self and her surroundings.
>The little pony begins to move and you return you attention to your cooking.
>You hear the soft trotting of hoofs behind you as she approaches but you do your best to remain fixated on your cooking.
>You feel a slight tugging from the bottom of your pants.
>The tiny pony barely reaches your calf.
>She looks up at you and lifts her head so far back she loses her balance and stumbles back a bit.
>There is a long silence between the two of you only broken up by the sizzling of your grilled cheese.
"Did you want something to eat?"
>No response.
>She stares at you a little while longer and then begins to investigate the rest of your tiny kitchen.
>She sniffs everything and keeps returning to you before giving another look of confusion and then repeating the process.
>>25422310
>After a bit your grilled cheeses are finished cooking.
>You triple check to make sure the oven top is off before sitting down to eat.
>The tiny purple pony watches you from the room by the front door and makes her way over to you.
>She sits down and quietly watches you eat your lunch.
>You eat the first of your two sandwiches while glancing over to see what your little pony is doing.
>She remains firmly fixed to her spot with the occasional blink to remind you she is still alive.
>You begin to dig in on the second sandwich when something stops you half way through.
>You look over again and the pony has her mouth wide open.
>After a moment or two she closes it only to open it again a moment after that.
>She make noise save for the sound of her teeth hitting together.
>She looks like some kind of freaky Pac-man.
>You finish your meal much more aware of your audience.
>>25422321
>After letting your pony get a little more acquainted to the kitchen you decide to show her to her new room.
>You grab the box full of all of her care supplies and pick up the pony.
>This must have surprised her because she lets out a slight gasp as you pick her up.
>This is quickly followed by her crying and soiling herself on you.
>Not even 20 minutes in and its already shit.
>You rush to the room and set her down.
>You wipe her bottom and set out her water dish while you leave to change shirts.
>She hasn't moved from where you left, but at least she stopped crying.
>You grab a toy, a ball, from inside her box and toss it towards her.
>She watches closely as the ball bounces by her and comes to a stop.
>A few more attempts with other toys produce the same results.
"Shit, she's probably autistic or something."
>She cocks her head to the side again and gives you and inquisitive look like the gears in her head are trying to turn, but are stuck.
>Oh well you can always call back Hessenfeld and get a refund.
>This is the first wave after all, there were bound to be a few hiccups.
>"Shhh-"
>The sudden noise snaps you back to your current situation.
>"Shhhhuuhh-"
>Ponies aren't supposed to be able to talk until day 3, day 2 at the least.
>You wonder what she's trying to say as the cute little pony continues to stumble over the word.
>Did she pick it up off of you?
>If they're really that impressionable, you'll have to be careful what you-
>"Shit!"
>Fuck.
>>25422327
>>If they're really that impressionable, you'll have to be careful what you-
>>"Shit!"
>>Fuck.
kek
>>25377703
To Hassenfeld Bio-Engineering Support Dept.,
I ordered a batch of 4 ponies two month ago, all from Series J, and gave them amongst myself and 3 trusted friends. To my knowledge, we all raised them properly as outlined in your instruction booklet; however, they all have experienced complications with raising their own ponies, with my own being no exception.
Friend 1's pony hasn't grown as stated in the growth chart, and is at least two to three stages behind the others physically. She also appears to be functionally blind.
Friend 2's pony arrived without any form on genitals, lack both reproductive organs or an anus. It died from sepsis within its arrival week.
Friend 3's pony did not take the language learning kit at all. As of today, she is still stuck on Tape 2.
My own pony has developed strange patches of discoloration on her skin, as well as becoming overly attached to myself, to the point of having breakdowns when I leave the house unless I take her with me.
I fear as though your latest batch of ponies may be defective, and am wondering about a recall, refund, or replacement policy in case of such developments.
Please respond as soon as possible.
Anonymous
>>25422730
Sounds like the beginning of a Resident Evil game.
>>25421818
WHY THE FUCK IS EVERY SENTENCED UNCAPITALIZED
Also what the fuck is a non, ither, and nyone?
>>25422781
>Also what the fuck is a non, ither, and nyone?
what
>>25422852He can't see it
This could be the next fluffy ponys. Except without all the ultra mega edgy gore.
>>25392739
Spongebob pls
Bamp
>>25421818
Holy fuck, amazing.
>>25423324
no, that's Snake
>>25377703
I can't tell if this is supposed to be Fallout propaganda or Little Inferno propaganda, but I like where this is going.
>>25426663
Me too
>>25421818
9/10. Could have had some more boxes. Maybe some metal boxes? But very good, very boxworthy.
Currently writing some green. If anyone cares.
>>25428325
I care
>>25428625
Thank you
>>25428325
Keep writing, senpai
Still awaiting pony-in-a-box greens
