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>>25214236
FulLR3tarD pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/XLSGi77f
Summary:
>Applejack starts hitting on Anon one day
>Rainbow gets jelly and mouth rapes Anon in the school closet then blackmails him
>Anon goes on a date with AJ and gets a haymaker in the face after Rainbow texts her
>Principal Celestia overhears Anon yelling at the M6 about it, but keeps things quiet
>Anon and Shimmie are together-ish now, maybe friends with benefits, maybe more
>But now a grueling homecoming game versus Crystal Prep is coming up
>And afterwards a dance that Anon isn't planning on going to, because he and Sunset are gonna do things instead
>But if he does, he promised Trixie two dances, and Applejack still wants his dick, as might Fluttershy... and Nurse Redheart's chaperoning, so we gotta dance with her too
>And bang Sugarcoat under the bleachers after the game too while we're at it
nice
just gotta wait for full retard to come over
>>25355378
He'll be back guysone of these days.
>>25355378
>>25355421
If we chant long enough, maybe FR will return.
bomp
bemp
Last time on "Homecoming Anon"
>you grab one of your dad's watches that he left behind and put it on your wrist
>frantically brush your teeth
>find your wallet, house keys and the Beast's keys
>put your phone in your pocket and put on your suit jacket
>look around
"What am I missing?"
>the tickets to the dance; Celestia gave them to you
>you facepalm so hard it hurt
"FUCK; REALLY DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!!"
>you search all around your room and the house
>turn off the music while you're at it
>you spend at least 5 minutes losing your mind looking for these tickets
>a lightbulb goes off in your head
"Sunset has them... right? I gave them to Sunset."
>hands slightly shaking from adrenaline, you text Sunset
[Hey, you have our tickets right??]
>in 30 agonizing seconds, she responds
>[Yeah, I have them.]
>check time
>5:50
>so much for being early
>you run to the bathroom mirror and check yourself
>fix your tie, now you look good
>but you don't have the time to admire yourself
>it's time to go
>you make sure the iron is off, and turn off any lights that you had on
>walk out of the front door; lock it behind you
>speed walking to the car; you check the time on your phone
>5:53
>you could make it to her house in less than 5 minutes
>start the car, and rev it up
>shift to reverse
>it's not like Sunset would be mad if you were a few minutes late
>but it was the principle of being late to something important that just didn't sit right with you
>>25356211
Also, the actual pastebin is here: http://pastebin.com/wnBmVqHw
>>25356239
Oops my bad.
>>25356428
If you are OP, don't worry about it. Previous OPs have messed it up several times to the point to where it's practically another one of this story's memes. In a way, it would be weird if that changed. Thanks for making the thread.
>>25356211
>as you pull onto the road, you suddenly feel the need to go the speed limit
>giving you a few extra seconds to mull over some thoughts
>in this moment, disregarding everything unimportant
>you are going to pick up Sunset Shimmer for a date
>a girl you have already mentally decided, is out of your league
>she will be wearing a dress; most definitely looking at least a bit 'warmer' than usual
>you will dance together, a minimum of one time
>you will eventually go home; regardless of what good or bad happens
>anything else is up to you, Sunset, and any number of possible players in tonight's game of fate
>you remember what you decided this very same morning
>if she doesn't want any more of you: take your hits like a man and go home with your balls intact; knowing you tried
>and in what seems like a moment of a strange mix between self-awareness and mild nihilism
>add in the fact that you nearly lost your life today, twice no less,
>you come to one conclusion
>you control absolutely nothing except your own actions
>and if that applies to anything; it applies to tonight
>you could only sway Sunset's feelings so much with a car you don't own and a decent dinner
>and worrying about how the night will end would only take away from the experience
>no
>you're not going to worry about a damn thing tonight
>if you and Sunset aren't meant to be; you're not going to act like something you're not to try and keep her
>and if by some miracle she still likes you when you drive her home, then you'll go from there
>as this thought process ends, you feel lighter
>seemingly ready for whatever chaos might confront you before you fall asleep tonight
>the nerves and slight anxiety seem to melt away
>a very natural and soft grin appears on your face
>as you pull onto her street, you feel like a new, albeit adventurous, man
>if 17 year olds can be men...
>>25356609
>you were about to park the beast in her driveway, but another idea presents itself to your mind
>you drive a few houses down and park on the street
>before you kill the engine, you replace the CDs in the player
>putting the 'Her' CD in
>before the first track can play, you hit 'Stop' on the player and turn off the car
>you would check your phone for the time
>but at the moment you didn't care anymore
>you exit the car, locking the driver door
>and begin walking towards her house
>instead of nerves and anxiety filling your bloodstream
>a sense of calm anticipation filled your soul
>you didn't quite 'swag walk' over to her house
>but you were almost positive there was an ever-so-slight lightness in your steps
>maybe you were walking funny..
>who cares?
>you turn onto her driveway and make your way towards the front door
>as you approach, you take out your phone and turn on the camera
>set it to self-facing mode so you can see yourself
>it's mostly to check and see if your tie still looks presentable, but you check the rest of yourself while you're at it
>from what you can see, everything looks fine
>you clear your throat, place your phone in your pocket, and make a light fist
'Here we go."
>knock on the door; ring the doorbell
>tonight started... right now
>>25356772
>and they all had sex.
>the end
>>25356813
I'd rather not put trips on. Pls refrain from doing this.
>>25356844
Will make sure m80 :^)
>>25356888
I don't know which one is real, but this one has trips...
>>25356888
Nice trips. Also, if you're done I'd like to continue with the story.
>>25356772
Didn't want to use tripcode but oh well. Here's [pic] proof I am the real R3tarD. Check the URL if doubt arises.
Also
>>25356813
>>25356888
https://youtu.be/oAKG-kbKeIo
>>25357513
Dear God, please continue with the story.
>>25356772
>as you knock on the door and ring the doorbell, you hold your breath to hear what's going on inside the house
>so far; nothing
>you wait a few seconds before doing anything
>it's not like she can teleport to the door
>and what kind of person just sits next to the door waiting for someone to show up?
>you wait for what feels like a minute
>by now, if she heard you, she would have opened the door by now
>you knock harder, ringing the doorbell a couple of times
>again, you slow your breathing to hear what is happening inside the house
>would she have left last minute to do something else?
>no, she wanted to go to this dance far more than you did
>a couple of seconds go by after you're done ringing the doorbell again
>you hear
>"OH NO."
>and the faint sound of a pitter-patter of light footsteps moving quickly across a room
>behind the door, Sunset's voice talks above an average volume to penetrate the closed door
>"Anon!? Is that you!?"
>you look around, in case she can see you through the peep-hole of her door
"Um... yes. Roger that."
Brain: Roger that? Did you turn into a moron during the last 10 seconds?
>>25358008
>without knowing, you say "fuck you" quietly out loud in response to your brain
>Sunset hears this
>"What!?"
>oh shit
>think quick
>you said that out loud
"Oh.. Sorry! I was responding to a text!! ... From Flash!!"
>there's silence on her side
>say something to make her believe you!
"We joke around all of the time like that!"
>after all; it is true
Brain: YOU JUST RUINED YOUR CHANCES BEFORE THE NIGHT EVEN BEGAN
>quietly you hear the same voice behind the door
>"Oh, uh... okay."
>there's still silence as the door isn't opened
>not knowing what to do, you improv what to say next
"Umm, Sunny? I'm still outside..."
>a few more seconds go by
>no response
"Sunset??"
>immediately after you say this, she responds
>"Yeah!! Sorry. Umm okay, so I'm actually not ready yet."
>you look to the side
>you planned for this
>women are never on time
"Hey that's okay. Can I come in though, and sit down? I mean, I can help you get ready if you need anything, or I can just sit and wait for you... either one is fine. Standing at the door is kinda weird though..."
Oh Brain, we love you.
>>25358241
>"Ohh, of course! Yeah, come in! Just... just close your eyes, okay?"
>close your eyes?
>what the hell?
>"And... put your hands over your eyes too."
>something is really weird about this...
"Uhhhhhh, Sunset, are you okay?"
>there's a bit too much of a pause to keep your comfortable
>"Yeah! I'm just not ready yet!"
>on the off chance that this gets kinky before the dance even starts, you do as she says
"Okay Sunset; eyes are closed, and hands are over eyes!"
>"Okay, you swear you're not looking??"
"Yes Sunny, I swear."
>you hear the door open very slowly, but out of respect, you don't open your eyes; nor do you open your fingers to allow your eyes vision
>"Okay, come on in."
>you take a step forward to go inside, still completely unaware of what's going on
>but the step wasn't high enough
>>25358441
Ecchi tier fall anon. Bravo.
>>25358441
IT'S JUST LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES
>>25358441
>inb4 Anon falls and hits his head, worsening the concussion into a coma.
>>25358441
awwwwwww shithopefully they remember to close the door quickly after the fall :^)
>>25358826
NOOOOO!!
For the fucking love of God no!
Anon must live, and get ALL the pussy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VgUZPR9v-o
Bump again
Bump me baby one more time
>>25360992
here you go
>>25357513
I'm not saying I doubt you're the real FulLR3tarD, but one can easily inspect element and add (You).
>>25361179
Or really?
>>25361179
I know, but that and the pastebin is really all of the proof I could think of, and I was itching to write.
>>25361190
I'm namefagging to tell you all this is the real R3tarD
>>25358441
>you take a step forward, but the step isn't high enough to clear the higher-than-normal door frame on the bottom
>fugg
>as your body quickly makes the emergency descent, your reactionary movement is to shoot your palms forward and brace for impact
>your eyes open in time to see the floor of the house approaching rapidly
>you fall into an awkward pushup position, unscathed
>"Oh my god! Anon, I'm so sorry!"
>you hear her voice, still behind the now opened door
>you get the feeling that she's either naked or 'indecent'
>"Are you okay?"
>which, seeing her being 'indecent' would be perfectly decent to you
>but the last thing you need to be is pervy before the date starts
>especially if kinky isn't what she had in mind by doing whatever is happening
"Don't worry; I'm good."
>crisis avoided
>you get up, careful not to look to your left towards the door
>close your eyes again and cover with hands
"Okay, I'm back to blind. Now what?"
>there's a pause on her end
>you get the feeling like she's embarrassed over what just happened/ is still happening
>this isn't getting kinky...
>"Umm, okay. Walk forward a few steps."
>you do so
>without tripping again
Yay for early green
>>25361367
>you hear the door close behind you
>and all your mind can think of is what Sunset would look like naked
>those big fun-bags
>that little ridge between the top of her hips and the top half of her torso; accentuating her hourglass figure
>her majestic, flowing hair
>those sweet, glistening thighs
>as these thoughts continue, you feel some action going on downstairs
>fuck
>a boner isn't something you need right now
>you silently pray that your semi doesn't go any further as you try to think of horrid thoughts to get the arousal to leave
>"Okay, please don't open your eyes."
"I'm won't; I swear."
>you feel her hand softly grab your own left hand off of your left eye
>your right hand positions itself to still cover both eyes
>she leads you to somewhere like the blind man that you currently are
>you're taking small steps to avoid falling again
>it's kinda adorable that she's not ready for you to see her yet
>but you could have done without the initial baller-move of literally falling into her house
>as she leads you to wherever you're going, you realize that she's in front of you
>your mind pictures what her ass would look like
>round, firm
>begging for your hand to smack it
>fuck
>gotta stop that...
>your hand is let go
>"Okay, you can sit down here."
>as you start to bend your knees, you place your left hand behind you to feel where you're about to place your body
>you feel the couch behind you and drop yourself into its comfort
>then your ears her the pitter-patter of bare feet on the floor, going away from your position
>the sound stops as the creak of a door is heard
>Sunset shouts behind another door
>"You can open your eyes now!"
>you do so
>in front of you is the TV,
>this is where you sat on Wednesday when you and Sunset were talking
>>25361486
>"I'm won't; I swear."
Here we go again!
>>25361788
Dammit, fixed for paste
>>25361189
Oh yeah?
>>25361213
I'm namefagging to tell you that he is namefagging to tell you that this is the real R3tarD
>>25361934
You might be onto something
>>25362041
>>25362187
>I'm won't, I swear
Laughing so hard that I'm snorting
I never snort-laugh
Thank you anon
>>25362259
This one is somewhere a bit below the level of
>"I don't actually balls, you idiot."
Nothing can top Adagio.
>>25362041
>Implying that this joke isn't dead already
>>25363498
>>25364203
>.mp3
Someone needs to write a song about this now
>>25361486
>sitting on the couch, you look to where her voice was coming from
>as soon as you do this, the door to the room she was occupying clicked shut
>you take the moment to look over your suit; making sure you didn't rip it anywhere from falling
"Hey, not to rush you or anything but when do you think you'll be ready?"
>"15 minutes..!"
>15 girl-getting-ready minutes measured out to around 25 real minutes
>but you planned for that
>you sit back and put your arms across the back of the couch
>"Anon, I'm so sorry about being late! Rarity wanted me to help the girls with their hair right before I started getting ready."
>you wave your hand to dismiss, even though she can't see it
"Don't worry about it; it's fine."
>"We won't miss any reservations, will we?"
"Nope; we're good as long as we can leave in about 20 minutes."
>you actually had more time than that, but she might be inclined to take her time if you tell her this
>a few seconds go by and you grab the remote to turn on the TV
>set the volume to low
>"Anon..."
"Yeah?"
>"You look good in a suit."
"Aww, thanks Sunny.."
>you smile and bite your bottom lip
>you shouldn't say what you're about to say
>but you absolutely have to
"..you looked great from behind a few seconds ago."
>"ANON!!!! YOU LOOKED!?!?!?"
>her voice practically echoed in the room she was in
>you burst with laughter
"No! I'm kidding; I'm kidding!"
Saving the thread! Don't you dare dying on me
>>25364770
anons a cheeky little cunt
>>25358241
These talking brain and thinking out loud gags remind me of writemook's greens. Reference or coincidence?
bumpy time
>>25366158
Coincidence. I haven't been here too long so I didn't even know who writemook was until Vampon told me.
>>25366444
>"Waiter? Cheque please."
>>25365584
Do not bump gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the thread
Can you bump it, sucka?
i need to know how it ends
>>25367227
someone said bump?
Humpity Bumpity!
hoping 4 fr to come back
>>25364770
>"You're hysterical, Anon!" she says in a very snarky tone
>you're still laughing
>she's not; apparently
>but you have an idea that even she thought it was a little funny
"Aww c'mon, it was kinda funny."
>you say that, trying to get her to admit it was funny
>you imagine she's probably pouting
>"Whatever. If giving me a heart attack is funny, then by all means."
"I might give you one for Christmas, but then again the wrap jobs for those things are a nightmare."
>you can hear her scoff at your dumb joke
"Hey, you laughing at me?"
>her voice starts to sound a bit more playful
>"MMMMaybe."
>you smirk, looking back at the TV
"Keep it up princess, you'll get yours."
>she's definitely getting a bit more playful now
>good
>if she's having a good time; you're having a good time
>"Remember Anon, I'm not a princess. Now I'm Queen Sunset Shimmer."
>that one caught you off guard as you let loose a guffaw
"Yeah, and I'm King Anonymous."
>you couldn't hear her, but behind the door Sunset whispers to herself "yes you are"
>>25369444
>a few minutes go by, and you're getting bored
>time to pester her some more
"Hey Sunny, chop chop. The reservations aren't for next month."
>"I'm sorry, did you just say 'chop chop' to me?"
"Correct. I could cure cancer in the time it takes you to get ready."
>you hold back the laughter
>"Not that you would know, but putting on makeup takes time and effort."
>yeah, like she needs a lot of makeup...
>not
"Sunset you don't even need makeup! You look fine."
>she gets back to snarky
>"You're right, Anon. I should just go to the dance without any makeup on. In fact, why don't I just show up without my dress to really drive it home?"
"Actually.."
>"DON'T EVEN ANSWER THAT, ANON."
>you realize that you should probably take this a bit more seriously, but pushing Sunset's buttons is just too much fun
>be Sunset
>sitting on a chair, looking at a mirror applying mascara to your eye lashes
>Anon can just really push your buttons sometimes
>sometimes you couldn't explain to yourself why you liked him
>but you knew that you liked him and that was what mattered
"You know, you seem awful relaxed. You're not even a little bit nervous about this?"
>there's a pause on his end
>"Not really. The only thing I'm worried about is making sure you have a good time."
>you hear this and stop applying makeup
>you can feel your cheeks flush as a warm smile creeps onto your face
>oh right
>that's why you have feelings for him...
>>25369444
Dammit these two are cute
>"Remember Anon, I'm not a princess. Now I'm Queen Sunset Shimmer."
Two things
1) we need a drawfag, or a shitty photoshop of Sunset with a crown
2) we need an obligatory "SUCK IT TWILIGHT" since Sunset surpassed her in the royal hierarchy, if for tonight only
>>25369758
>you resume applying makeup
"I'm... I'm a little nervous," you say a bit too quietly
>"Speak up, I can't hear you."
"I said I'm a little nervous."
>"Why? You think I'm going to embarrass you or something?"
"What? No, of course not! I... I don't know. I'd rather not say.."
>"Well you already brought it up! Might as well spit it out."
>your shoulders droop as you realize that you dug your own grave by asking him if he was nervous...
"I.. I'm not that good of a dancer. What if I trip and fall in front of everyone? What if someone thinks my dress looks ugly? What if I say something stupid that embarrasses you? What if I keep you from having a good time tonight?"
>after finishing, you realize how pathetic that sounded
>the night hasn't even started yet and you sound pitiful
>and to make it worse, you just did another emotional dump on Anon
"...sorry I'm being such a downer, Anon."
>"No, it's okay. Look, I'm already having a good time and I haven't even seen you yet. It can only get better from here. You're not going to say or do anything stupid, and even if you did it would probably just be.. uhm... cute."
>you know him well enough to understand that he's not good with what he calls 'feels'
>he pauses a bit after the last part before he continues
>"There's literally no way you could embarrass me; I do dumb shit all of the time and I rarely even embarrass myself. If you fall, for whatever reason, I'll help you back up. And screw anyone who says you don't look anything other than amazing."
>there it is again, Sunset
>there's your heart fluttering..
"You haven't even seen me yet, Anon.."
>"I've seen you a few times before. No complaints over here."
>you can almost feel him having that cheesy grin of his in the other room
>"And about the dancing... I'm probably the worst dancer on this planet, so you're in for a good show tonight. If someone makes a mean comment about your dancing, just point to me and they'll have something way funnier to laugh at."
>>25370321
>be Anon
>damn well just dodged a bullet with that one
>the wrong response to any of that could have been disastrous
>after a few seconds you hear her voice, a hair quieter than before
>"Anon, I.. I'm glad we're going to the dance together."
Dick: Good show, ole' chap.
Balls: My nigga, that was tight.
Brain: Keep it up, bud.
"Me too, Sunny; me too."
>you go back to watching TV
>smiling at a job well done
>a minute goes by
>"Okay, I'm almost ready! I think I left my nylons on the table; can you hand them to me?"
"Yeah."
>you walk over to the table and find a pair of black nylons
>out of pure curiosity you put them to your nose and have a whiff
>they smell like... fruity?
>Strawberries, maybe?
>whatever it was, it smelled good
>her door cracks open only wide enough for her to reach her arm out
>you put the nylons in her hand, and she pulls them in
>then she closes the door back
>"Thanks, almost done."
"Sweet."
>you stand behind the couch, not wanting to sit back down if you were going to leave soon
>you couldn't wait to see how hot she looked
>>25370532
Vote time bois.
First song played in the car:
>Dank beat
>Moar Rock song
>EDM
>>25371041
rock song senpai
>>25371041
While I like dank beats, imma say rock to get the juices flowing.
>>25371041
Renegade by Styx to start things off. Yes, this is the 1970s
>>25371041
I can't think in other song...
Maybe this?You're BeautifuL - James Blunt
I feel like some savage garden is going to need to be played sometime tonight.90's love songs are bomb
>>25371041
I say EDM, with dank as my backup vote if EDM fails.
Or spoopy skeltons because we can pretend it is a week ago in this thread :P
>>25371041Slayer - War Ensemble
>>25371041Smash Mouth - All Star
>>25370532
>still looking at the TV
>you feel... cool, and collected
>this is going to be a good night
>you hear her door open
>a second passes
>"How do I look?"
>you turn your head to look at herpic; basically just imagine Sunset wearing what KP has on, in the same pose
>she's wearing a tight, short black dress
>or rather; the dress is practically wearing her body
>her red high heels are giving her a few extra inches in length, but also shape her legs to be even hotter than previously thought possible
>they also match the red streaks in her hair
>the bottom part of the dress barely covers the top half of her thighs
>which leaves a fantastic view of her delicious nylon'd legs
>the top part is low cut, showing a bit of cleavage
>but it shows enough to remind you that Sunny here possessed a sweet, sweet rack
>she does a little twirl to show you what it looks like from behind
>it's practically hugging her plump, luscious ass
>overall, the dress goes well with her slender midriff and the blessing known asass 'n' titties
>hair down, but a bit more 'flowing' than usual
>in short, a goddess walked out of that room
>she places her hand on her hip as she does a pose for you
[spoiler ] >that was the final straw before you lost you fucking mind
>>25371788
I swear I didn't screw up that last spoiler...
>>25371750
Here ya go, anon. https://youtu.be/z48NmdWbquw
>>25371788
Oh damn, Sunset in a LBD
*whistles*
Also good reference image.
>>25371788
>you look at her for a few seconds
>and completely lose control of yourself
>cool and collected both fly right out of the damn window
>you see her and immediately, every alarm in your body is going haywire
>there isn't even a DEFCON level low enough for this
>you feel your brain short circuit and turn off
>your knees go weak and you feel like you might fall, but you are unable to move
>someone most definitely just lit your face on fire
>your eyes feel like they popped out of your face
>you start uncontrollably mumbling and muttering nonsense in tongues you don't even know
>are you about to fart??
>probably
>you can't tell
>the boner
>no, boner
>but it's too late
>the fire rises too quickly to stop it
>she's starting to smile in embarrassment
>THAT ISN'T HELPING THE BONER, LADY
>spaghetti doesn't fall out of your pockets>clones of Chef Boyardee himself are fucking flying out of your pants
>the way she looks right now; your body wants nothing more than to split her in half where she stands
>and your mind plays audio of her crying out your name while performing the coitus
>>25370532
>Dick: Good show, ole' chap.
>Balls: My nigga, that was tight.
>Brain: Keep it up, bud.
why did this catch on
i cringe every time i see it
>>25372153
why were you born
i cringe every time you post
>>25372026
Next voteBecause I can't decide
Does Anon
>go full retard and slightly embarrass himself only to recover soon after?
or
>get a hold of himself immediately and play it cool?
>>25372424
full retard would be funny. DO IT
>>25372424
PLAY IT COOL
DO NOT LOSE YOUR SHIT
>>25372424
>Have the name full retard
>Doing anything but going full retard
>>25372026>>clones of Chef Boyardee himself are fucking flying out of your pants
oh my fuck, I'm fucking dying. Forget my sides, I think my entire body seized up reading this
>the way she looks right now; your body wants nothing more than to split her in half where she stands
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS JUST__ __!
>>25372424
you never go full retard. I'm in for half retard! Though if that doesn't work, then I guess we can make an exception and go full retard this one time. Because you ain't going to just "play it cool" with something hotter than the fucking Sun and the princess who moves it.
>>25372424
This one is a bit more important, so I'm going to see what the thread says tomorrow morning and go from there. GN bois.
>>25372611
good night you legend
>>25372269
so you cringe at yourself
because we share the same name my friend
>>25372424
go full retard and recovery.
>>25372589
This anon gets it.
>>25371229
Good taste Anon!
FR use this song in the car!!!!
>>25372424
Don't go full retard! Just a little bit, then recovery!Don't say dat ass...Don't say dat ass...SAY DAT ASS...
>>25372820
This.
>>25372611
Sleep tight m8!
>stealing waifus
>>25371041
New vote for first song in car
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsZMbs5PC64
>>25371041
What you do is not be a faggot and play this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyNNqW-k950
I keep listening to "Don't let it end" by Nickelback, because it reminds of Sunny and Anon so fucking much.
As for the vote, she should try to keep his cool, and fail miserably.
>>25373904
HE! HE should try to keep his cool!
God fucking damn it.
Oh fuck it.
I don't even care how cheesy it is, I'm recommending this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKoZMke594A
>>25372424
>If the situation is going full retard, you can only go with it. If you go against it, or half-retard, you're fucking done for
I'll like to see him go full retard for a bit. Wonder how Sunset would react...Hopefully use that to her advantage
>>25375065
I'd love me some of that Sunny-D if you know what I'm saying wink wink
>>25375333
>Implying that Sunsetactually balls
>>25375465
>implying you can argue with tripsSunset doesn't actually balls
>>25372424
>FulLR3tarD
>"Does Anon go full retard?"
How is this even a question?
He's played it cool for long enough. It's time for a full blown spaghettimancer performance. I want her awed at Anon's pasta juggle skills. I want her nauseated at his alfredo sauce. I want her struggling to swim through his newfound italian heritage. You better not fuck this up by not having Anon fuck this up.
>>25372026
>"Anon?"
>the porno movie your mind was playing immediately shut down
>she's talking to you; this is actually happening
>in real life
>you need to say something
>try to make a joke to lighten the mood again...
>what you tried to say was "Holy shit, Sunset..."
>but what came out of your mouth instead was:
https://youtu.be/0GX0v1Ryj68
>she looks at you, confused
>"What?"
>fuck
>you need to try saying something comprehensible
>but again, what comes out is
"meheuhnugast... ahius mehangunstesh.."
>dammit
>try again
>you feel a click; the sound of your brain slowly starting up again
>coherent thought begins to return
"neuhuh.. need, minute.."
>close enough
>you need to do something
>you almost laugh at the fact that you just told Sunset you rarely get embarrassed
>then this happens
>you turn around and try to walk
>but your knees are currently out of order
>and you have to slightly bend your torso down so your boner doesn't rip through your pants
>you stumble to the front door and go outside, closing the door behind you
>shakily pull out your phonepic
>dial a number and put the phone to your ear
>[Hello?]
[H-hey, Flash?]
>there's some loud noise in the background
>[Anon, what's up?]
>you pull the phone away from your ear to look at the device>and scream
"IT'S THE MOTHERFUCKIN WATER, FLASH!!!"
>>25376145
Holy shit based R3tarD, I'm dying hereS-senpai, why are you doing this~
Page 9, really?
Is this also a thing now
>>25376145
Fucking kek
>>25376145
>click the red button on your phone immediately after screaming
>put the phone back in your pocket
>fart
>okay, got that out of you
Brain: Smooth, Fonz. Since you clearly just lost your shit in front of her, why not get yourself together and hope she, for whatever reason, still wants to go with you tonight? Maybe if you're lucky, she will think you just had a stroke and you're playing it off cool.
>you feel your brain slowly coming back to 100% function
>theBoyardeefountain has been shut off
>okay
>breathe in
>breathe out
>your brain was right, too
>you can't undo what has already been done
>but you still have a sweet dinner reservation
>a sick ride
>and she said you looked good in a suit
>maybe she thought that was cute...
>no
>that wasn't cute
>that was the opposite of cute
>but maybe this can be salvaged
>a minute goes by when you realize that you're still outside
>and Sunset is still inside
>fugg
>>25378649
>you straighten your suit jacket and check your pants
>boner has gone away
>good
>you promptly open the front door, walk in, and shut it behind you
>you walk directly over to Sunset
>who is giving you this facepic
>you get within two feet of her, and with every bit of normalcy you can muster in your voice, you say
"I'm sorry you had to see that. Had to get /that/ out of my system. You look amazing; beautiful, even."
>still smirking at you
>"So I really look that good, huh?"
>you calmly nod your head
"In short, yes. Very much so."
>she loses her smirk and replaces it with a warm smile
>reaches up to place her hands at the back of your neck, and pulls you a little closer to herself
>stands on the front tips of her heels and gives you a quick peck on the lips
>then simply says
>"I like you."
>your mind:
https://youtu.be/IvijW1MtMfM
"I like you too."
>you pause for a second
"...Obviously..."
>she lets out a little giggle
>maybe what just happened was a blessing in disguise
>maybe you had just poured out all of your stored autism in one fell swoop
>and if that was the case, you might even enjoy the rest of the night even more
"You ready to go?"
>she nods, still smiling
>"Yeah, let's get out of here."
>she holds your hand and starts to lead you to the front door
>6
>>25378166
I'd say that it's my thing only, but you deserve it for the dubs
Bumping from 9.
daily bump
>>25379081
>on the way to the front door, you are behind her
>your eyes shift to her backside
>apparently..
>the heels force her to walk in a saunter, swaying her hips just enough to remind you how good she looks
"So just wondering, how inappropriate would it be if I said 'dat ass' right now?"
[pic] = her face
>"I'll let it slide for now. You can look, but don't touch."
>as she turns off the lights to the house, you two exit the home together
>she locks the front door behind her and start off towards her car
>you check your watch
>6:35
>you got some time
>before she gets to the driver door,
"Hey, we actually got some time to spare before our reservation.."
>"I thought you said we would be late if I wasn't ready in 20 minutes?"
>you shrug your shoulders
"I didn't plan for you to actually be ready in 20 minutes."
>she puts on a fake pout
>"I'm almost offended, but.. that was pretty smart."
"I know right! You wanna go for a walk before we leave?"
>"Meh, sure. Why not? Let me just put my purse in the car."
>shit, you didn't think about that
>but you can't ruin the surprise
"No! I mean... what if you need your purse while we're walking??"
>she looks at you weirdly
>"Why would I need my purse for a walk?"
>you look at her... looking for an excuse
>wait, her dress obviously doesn't have pockets
"What if you get an important phone call?"
>she looks at her purse and puts it back on her shoulder
>"Yeah, I guess you're right."
>you two walk down the driveway, and you turn towards the direction of where you parked the beast
>>25380689
>nighttime was quickly approaching
>as you reach the sidewalk, you feel Sunset grab your arm escort-style as you two walk together
>"So, where are we going for dinner, anyways?"
>you grin
"Still a surprise, Sunny."
>"Anon, I'm driving us there. I eventually need to know."
>she's absolutely not driving tonight..
>and she's about to find out why
>and as you think of this, your grin gets even bigger
"I'll tell you when you need to know."
>she looks with concern
>"It's not too expensive.. is it? I don't have that much money.."
pic = your face
"What? Sunset, let's get something straight. You're not paying for dinner tonight. You're not paying for /anything/ tonight.."
>she tugs at your arm a little
>"C'mon Anon, you don't have to do that. I'm not poor."
"It has nothing to do with how much money you have. I have enough money for tonight, for the both of us. End of story."
>"Well... alright. But at least promise me this place isn't super expensive. Because if it is; we should just go... I don't know... get some burgers or something. I don't want you spending a lot of money on me."
>you break out in laughter
>then answer with top sarcasm levels
"Right, yeah, okay... Sunset, if someone saw me taking a girl like you to a fast food joint for a dinner date, an angry mob would form from thin air and lynch me. On top of that, though I haven't been on a date in a while, I know better than to be okay with doing that."
Brain: Did you just *not* screw up?
>she's smiling again
>sweet
"And to answer your question, it's not super fancy. Still, I think you'll like it."
>you look at her again
>then back in front of you
"Also, if you wore that dress every day you'd never have to pay for anything again... ever."
>she scoffs
>"Yeah, I wish."
>you chuckle
"You think I'm joking..."
>she gives a playful slap on your shoulder
>"Oh stop..."
>pause
>"...but seriously, thanks for paying tonight. I mean that."
"No problem."
>>25381191
Bumpo
>>25381691
U BITCH
>>25381990
BAMP
Mfw waiting for green
>>25378649
>fart
>okay, got that out of you
>the Boyardee fountain has been shut off
oh my forking god. I think I'm about to have a siezure. kekking so hard
Bumpity
>>25381691
>>25383071
>>25384349
Goddamn you guys
>>25384716
>You guys
^:)
>>25384741
^:^)^
>>25384741
>>25385286
I already have a reaction series :^)
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
>>25381191
>the conversation had bought enough time for you two to be nearing the beast
>you didn't want to point it out too early, but obviously you couldn't walk past it before you said something
>but before you can finish solidifying your plan, Sunset says "Whoa.."
"Whoa what?"
>she lets go of your arm and walks a little faster towards the beast
>you hold in the heavenly feeling of 'this could not have happened any better'
>you feign ignorance
"What, that car?"
>she walks ahead of you to look at it
>clearly enamored with the vehicle
>"Yeah! Look at it! Old muscle cars are the best!"
>still feigning ignorance
"Sunset, I didn't know you were a car girl!"
>she looks back at you, almost embarrassed
>"I, uh... I know it's not very lady-like, so I don't tell a lot of people."
>as she says this, the excitement on her face falls
>as if she had realized she had just made a mistake
>she slowly walks back towards you instead of getting closer to the car
>"That's probably weird, right? Sorry, we can keep walking..."
>you look at her in surprise
"What's weird? I'm not really a car guy myself, but cool cars are cool. Let's look at it!"
>with a small glimmer of hope, she looks up at you
>"You really don't mind?"
"Of course not. Tell me what you know about the car."
>>25385393
>she proceeds to tell you the model, make, and everything she could tell about the car
>turns out she really likes cars...
>in fact, she knew more about this car than you did, and you had driven it the entire day
>she's practically the car's fan-girl
>she looked all around the thing, then peered into the interior
>after about a solid two minutes, she looks at you; happily embarrassed
>"I'm sure I've been babbling."
"I don't know, I learned a lot. What got you so into cars?"
>she continues looking through the window of the car while she talks
>"There weren't any cars where I was born, so when I saw them I wanted to know more about them. The idea itself is fascinating."
>cars had been around for a long time...
"No cars? Where were you born??"
>she stops looking at the car, and her eyes open wide
>"Uhhh... an island... off the coast?"
>you look at her weirdly
"Are you.. asking me.. if you were born on an island?"
>she's acting strange about this...
>"No.. no that wasn't a question. I was born on an island; so small that we didn't need cars."
"Wow, that's tiny."
>she rubs her arm
>"Yeah, it was super small. Anyway we should probably be going to dinner now."
>you give her an evil grin
"Don't you want to get inside the car?"
>>25385475
>Sunset becomes a bit worried
>but she lowers her voice in case someone nearby was listening
>"Anon! We can't steal the car! I mean, it looks cool but it's not worth going to jail!"
>you go along with her assumptions
"C'mon Sunny, live a little. This thing /does/ look cool, doesn't it?"
>"Yes but you can't just steal something because you want it!"
>you go up the passenger door; the side closest to the curb
>still acting like you're trying to steal the car
>you pull on the door handle, knowing you locked it from earlier
>you pull harder again
>turn to Sunset
"Do you have a crowbar at your place?"pic = her
>"No!! I don't! Anon, stop! I'm not getting in that car if you steal it!"
>you pull out the keys from your jacket pocket and unlock the door
>then you open it and step to the side
>look at her
>with a shit-eating grin
"Now will you get in?"
>she's frozen in shock
>the worried look she was sporting turned into a jaw drop
>it was her turn to mumble incoherently
>"Wh-w-what? But........ but how?"
>you think of Rainbow giving you the keys
"A friend let me borrow it for the night."
>she still hasn't moved
>she looks at the car, then at you
>this repeats a few times
>"Are... are you serious?? You have this for the night? We're riding in this!?"
>you simply nod
"Eeyup."
>>25385727
kek
gotta mess with her a little first right
GN bois.
>>25381691
>>25383071
>>25384349
>>25385211
>>25385371
>>25386123
Mein Fuhrer, Bumpfag on the post o7
>>25386123
Bump for the best retard to ever see earths surface
>>25385727
Oh my fucking God that was perfect!
I almost fell outta my chair I laughed so damn hard.
>>25385727
Fucking perfect.
Cluster bump
Bump
I wonder if Sunset will ever unveil to Anon who she truly is. She seems to be hiding her past pretty well.
>>25387951
Yeah, I think Anonwould like her to reveal her cock
>>25385727
>it takes a few seconds
>but eventually the shock wears off and is replaced by a look of unadulteradted, giddy joy beaming at you
>this is something you expected after she showed interest in the car
>what you didn't expect
>was her to run the few steps that separated the two of you
>and slam her body onto yours
>next thing you know, her head is on your chest; arms squeezing your torso
>as soon as it started, she was off of you, going around the door and preparing to get in
>she couldn't wait to get into the Camaro
>you pivot your body to be between her and the car
>before she lifted her hot.. sexy leg to dip her body into the beast
>you feel a temptation overcome yourself
>before you can even ponder if it's a good idea to do so,
>you reach your hand toward her and pinch her ass
>her hips thrust forward in reaction as she lets out a reflexive "YIP!!" in the form of a yelp
>another reaction of hers is to flail her arms behind her to swat your hand
>but you pull your arm back just in time to miss your hand getting smacked
>she turns her head around with singed cheeks, softly biting her lower lip
>"Didn't I say 'look, don't touch?'" she asks in a teasing tone
>you grab her hand; helping her into the low-sitting car
>still grinning
"I'm not a good listener."
>when she gets in, you close the door behind her
>you walk around the back of the car to get to the driver door
>when you get to the rear bumper, you stop>and fart again
>>25388194
>"Anon, before we... do it... I want you to know that I.."
"..."
>".. I have a penis."
>Anon quickly pulls phone out"Hey, Applejack..?"
>>25388302
>implying Sunset having a penis is a bad thing
Anon-kun, you're such a fucking faggot holy shit
>>25388258
>relieved of the held-in methane
>you open the door and slide into the driver's seat
>Sunset is looking all around the interior of the car, especially in places she couldn't see clearly from outside
"What do you think?"
>yeah, so you're fishing for compliments to the beast
>and it's not even your car
>but you loved seeing Sunset excited about something
>"It's so cool! It has an aftermarket transmission, because these originally came in 4 speed. They also didn't come with CD players, obviously... but a lot of this is original stock. Who's car is this?"
"Actually, Rainbow gave me the keys this morning. I think it's her dad's or something.."
>she looks out of the window for a second
>"Wow... that was really nice of Rainbow."
"Yeah, it was."
>as nice as it was for Rainbow to do that; it wasn't something you wanted to talk about to Sunset
>a nice mood was already set and bringing up the past week would ruin it like water in dog food
"You want to know what the best part of the car is?"
>the somber mood was quickly washed away as she turns to you in anticipation
>"What??"
>you start the car and it roars
>hen the roar turns into a rumbling arrhythmic chug
>you turn on the headlights because it's dark now
>and outside of your vision, a button next to the CD player lights up
>she looks like a kid in a candy shop
>but then she focuses on the lit button
>"What does this do?"
>you look at what she's pointing at
>you have no idea what it does
"No idea. Again, I'm not a car guy so I'm weary to do anything other than drive it."
>Sunset's finger gets close to the button, then she hesitates
>"Only one way to find out.."
>Sunset presses the button
>and as if the inside of the car was from Tron
>lines of red LED lights flip on and glow up the inside of the car
>they're on the floorboard and even both sides of the middle column
>you are her see this for the first time
>"No..."
"Fucking..."
>"Way...."
>>25389004
>after staring for a while, you look back to Sunset
"I have to make a quick stop at my place, but it won't take more than 2 minutes."
>"No problem!"
>you hit play on the CD player
https://youtu.be/5xbPFlwZc9A
"Here we go, Sunny."
>"No way! The music isn't loud enough!"
>she turns up the music for you
>"Now, let's do this!"pic = your face
>hell yes
>you shift to 1st and peel out to get on the street
>you look over again to see that the G-forces are moving her tits when you change the speed or make a turn
>too bad you would crash the car if you looked over too much...
>you flex the engine's power a little on the way, but not enough to go too far over the speed limit
>as loud as the music is, you and Sunset have to yell when you talk
>"Since when could you drive stick, anyways??"
"My uncle taught me before I was old enough to drive!"
>>25388302
>this is a problem
>>25389364
>>25388302
Just so we're clear, that's not a part of the actual story. I'm sure that's obvious but at least one person will think that's canon.
>>25389394
I can't imagine Anon being such a faggot though, canon or not.
>not liking some good old big D
>>25389923
nice meme
Do not bump gentle in to that good night,
Old threads should burn and rave at close of day,
Bump, bump against the dying of the thread.
Those wise men know bump is right,
Even though their posts had forked no lightning they,
Do not bump gentle into that goodnight.
>>25388258
>>and fart again
kek
>>25391375
animatedjames pls
Chef Bumpardee
Living in a bumpster's paradise
Dear God I want more!
Pizza bump
Bump-a-rumpa
The thread has gone to bed.
>>25396499
Nice bumpdubs, bruh
>>25396499
It's weird tho cause normally writefriend tells us GN, but he didn't tonight :C
>>25397074
d-does that mean writefriend is kill?
>>25397426
sory for bad englando i am russland
where were u when writefrendo is kil
i was sit in my basement bump threads about a kids show
when my bumpfriend is rang
"FulLR3tarD is kil"
no
calm down and bump on, there is still hope
>>25389140
>be Sunset
>Anon was really pulling this one off
>and that wasn't something you forgot to notice, either
>most girls probably wouldn't like his aggressive driving,
>but this was right up your alley
>in fact, you wouldn't say anything..
>but seeing him control this muscle car might or might not have been a turn on>it totally was
>which made it easier to forgive his occasional lewd comment,
>the rock music was a nice touch, too
>as he pulled into his driveway, he didn't even turn off the car
>he looks at you
>"I'll be right back."
>he quickly jumps out of the car and calmly runs to his door
>when he disappears from sight, you have a quiet laugh to yourself
>there were a lot of things you were still learning about Anon
>but looking at him drive the car, you learned another thing about him
>when he was having a good time, it was difficult to not share the feeling
>at first, you thought it was maybe because you could relate to him
>not having too many close friends, liking similar music,
>or maybe you had, subconsciously, kind of bought into the hype that he was cool now...
>but after thinking last night, another idea popped into your head...
>>25398446
>he wasn't a super hero; he wasn't some 'bad boy', or any other dream-guy stereotype
>he had good days and bad days,
>but he didn't pretend to be something he wasn't
>when he lost his mind, you knew it
>in one way, when you two were walking home on Monday; in a completely different way when he saw you with this dress on
>and when he was having fun, you knew it
>like when he won the game, and when he was driving the car... or seemingly any time you were with him
>he wasn't always worried about other people's opinion
>and though he... could... be an ass, he was really a nice person
>he was just Anon
>and he was genuine
>and you liked that... a lot
>you imagine what it would be like if Genuine could have been an Element of Harmony back in Equestria
>but before you even think to answer that, something else -more pressing- appears in your mind
>he asked you where you were from earlier, and you lied
>but you couldn't tell him your story tonight
>it would ruin everything, not only for you, but probably for him as well
>your mind imagines his shocked face as you tell him that you used to be this world's equivalent of a horse... in another world
>or that you're from another world in the first place
>or that you possess some type of magical power
>if you two ended up being together, you would tell him then
>but tonight definitely was not the night to tell him about your past
>before you can finish the mental trail, the driver door opens
>Anon gets back into the driver's seat
>"Sorry about that. Now, to dinner!"
"What did you forget?"
>"Oh, it's nothing."
>he pulls out of the driveway and begins down the road
>>25398506
>be Anon
>you didn't tell Sunset
>but the boner you had at her place reminded you of something
>you would soon be in extremely close proximity with not only Sunset, but probably a few other very good looking girls, wearing hot-looking dresses
>and popping a bone in the middle of a dance would be a nightmare
>your mind starts the picture show
>your doing a slow dance with Sunset
>everything is going great and you haven't screwed up
>she pulls herself closer to you, strengthening the intimate moment
>then pushes herself away from you
>"ANON!?!? DO YOU HAVE A BONER!?"
>the music stops and sure enough, your pitched tent seems more than ready to invite Sunset inpic
>she walks out; disgusted
>back to real time
>boxers wouldn't do
>so in the house, you switched them out for a pair of clean compression shorts you usually wore for football
>to keep the boner contained tonight
>now confident that you fixed a problem before it even happened, you focus on driving to the restaurant
"Sunny, are you cold? You can turn on the heat if you are."
>"Oh no, I'm fine. Thanks though."
>>25398590
>next song plays
https://youtu.be/gLM8J5Ife4U
>"Hey, do you know this song?"
"Yeah, why?"
>Sunset grins at you
>"Alright, so I've sung for you once. Now it's your turn to sing."
>you shake your head, still looking at the road
"No way, Sunny. You don't want to hear me sing."
>there's that snarky look of hers
>"Oh, but I do!"
"Trust me, you don't."
>"Alright, party pooper," she taunts
>she's baiting you
>but two can play that game
>you laugh
"Party pooper?? You just watch it, little missy."
>"Little missy?? I'm not some little girl, ya know!"
>you look over to her tits
>she sees this
"I can't argue there."
>she lets out a faux gasp and playfully slaps your shoulder
>"Watch it, bub."
>the shit-eating grin returns
"Oh yeah? Or what?"
>she puts on the bedroom eyes and leans over to you
>and seductively says "Or maybe I'll find someone else to have dinner with... what do you think about that?"
>oh she went there...
>but you weren't out of sarcasm ammo yet
"Maybe I'll just pull the car over and let you walk..."
>she leans back into her seat again
>"You wouldn't..."
>there is a five second pause of silence
>then you let loose a hearty laugh
>>25398842
and then this comes on:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJx3r90Cm0s
>>25398979
There's an entire album of this shit
Page 9 bump
RETURN FROM WHENCE YOU CAME MORTAL
>>25398842
>you will never have this much fun with someone
>>25398842
>you two ended up doing a duet to the song
>actually, you more or less did quiet backup vox for her
>because you seriously couldn't sing
>after the song,
>Sunset looks out of her window
>"Wait, are we in Summertown?"
"Yeah! This is where my family lived before we moved to Canterlot."
>she looks back at you
>"Tell me about this place! I've been here before but I've never lived here. What's it like?"
"How about this? I'll tell you all about it when we get to the restaurant."
>as you start getting closer your destination, you turn down the volume
>you look over to Sunset
"Okay, we're almost there. One of my old friends was working at the place earlier today but I forgot to ask if he was working the night shift as well. Anyways, I'm sure you'll like this place."
>"I'm sure I will too, Anon."
>about a minute goes by and you pull out your phone
>and then you hand it to Sunset
"Sunny, can you go through my contacts and call 'Thunder' for me?"
>she takes the phone
>"Sure."
>she uses your phone to find the contact and then hits the green button
>hands it back to you
>"Here you go; I already hit the call button."
"Thanks."
>you use your shoulder to press the phone to your ear, because you still need one hand to steer and another to shift gears
>>25399708
You...you looked into this?!?
Why?!!
>>25401450
>be Sunset
>after you hand the phone back to Anon, he uses his shoulder to press it against his ear
>"Hey, Thunder?"
>"Yeah, it's me, Anon!"
>"Nothing much, man. You working tonight?"
>"Perfect. Listen I got a reservation and I'm almost there. Can you check and see if there's still parking open?"
>"Yeah, no problem."
>a few seconds go by
>"Sweet. Thanks for the heads up. I'll be there soon."
>he takes his hand to hang up and put the device back into his pocket
>not knowing what was said, you ask
"Everything okay?"
>"Oh yeah. I was worried if there were any open parking spaces left at the place, but there's a few left. We should get there in time to snag one."
"That's good."
>after you say that, you continue to look out of your window
>Summertown was fairly close to Canterlot but you always felt like it was very different from the city you lived in
>instead of a handful of very big and important things in Canterlot,
>Summertown seemingly was made up of things like malls, corner restaurants, and not many tourist attractions
>and while it wasn't the huge city that Canterlot was,
>it certainly wasn't a 'town' like its name might have you believe
>another minute goes by and he pulls into a strip mall parking lot
>he makes a left and continues down the little parking lot road
>as he reaches the corner, he makes a right
>as he does this, there is a large building separate from the strip mall in front of you
>with a bright red neon sign on top of the doors that say..pic
"Is that the place?"
>you look over to see him smiling at the sign
>"It sure is."
>>25401620
>took forever, but Anon finally found a parking space
>when the car stopped, and the engine's roar came to conclusion
>you unbuckled the seat belt and reached for the inside door handle
>but before your hand even touched the handle
>you heard Anon say, loudly
>"AH, AH, AH!! Nope! Don't you touch that door."
>your hand reflexes back towards your body before you look at him
>at first, your your face depicted fear
>like he might be upset about something
>but upon meeting eyes, he had only a smile to offer
>"You're not opening any doors tonight, Sunset."
>you caught what he meant, and smiled
>you might have be Homecoming Queen
>but he was really treating you like royalty
>it was something you weren't used to
>but something you really liked...
>it made your heart flutter
>it was so strange, really
>one minute, you two were joking about him having to find another dinner date
>and the next, he's sweeping you off of your feet without even putting forth effort
>he gets out of the car and walks around the front of the car to get you
>only halfway around, he decides to back up for some reason
>he takes a look at you, then grins
>he gets to his side of the car hood and then slides his body over the hood, rather than walking around the carpic
>but for whatever reason, when he lands his feet on the ground after the 'hood slide' he slips and falls right onto the ground
>it had been months since you laughed that hard,
>and that loudly, too
>>25402464
>your your face
Fixed for pastebin.
>>25402464
>might have be
Fixed as well.
Too many typos. I need some sleep. GN bois.
>after dinner they come out
>carfu has been wrekt by a minivan
>>25402678
Can confirm that doesn't happen. GG Angel.
>>25402464
I love it when Anon acts like a full retard.
Nightly bump.
>>25402464
Fucking kek
>>25402464
full retard
>>25358826
I kek'd
Meanwhile, the next morning...
>>25405292
>Meanwhile
>The next morning
wat
>>25405514
Temporal mechanics 101.
The past, present, and future, all exist simultaneously.
So.. today is my birthday. I'll be afk most of the day, but I'll still give you guys something to chew on. GG brethren, until Valhalla.
>>25405657
> 11.11
What a nice number. Happy birthday, tard.
>>25405657
hbd writefriend get rlly drunk and have fun
>>25405657
Happy bday nigga. Let me witness those sweet 11/11 quads
Happy Birthday Tard!
(Could this be the threads next big meme?)
>>25405657
Have fun. My birthday way yesterday.
I had a milkshake.
It was fun.
>>25405657
happy birthday m8, may thine penis be coated in pussy juice
>>25405657
>birthday is 11/11
>born with quads
Remove virginities, writefriend.
>>25401469
>"I am all for food"
>"I say let's eat"
>"Yummy is good, it tastes like a treat"
>>25398979
What the~
Is this a real thing now?
Please don't tell me that's a thing
>>25407145
>"Here we go"
>"Here we say 'yes'"
>"I'm full of nonsense and my shirt is a mess"
>>25407178
u wanna fite m8
>>25405657
>11/11
FulLR3tarD is born based, holy shit
>>25402464
>he gets up; dusts himself off
>he sees you almost keeling over with laughter
>and soon starts laughing himself
>opens your door and offers his hand to help you out of the low-sitting car
>"Laugh it up, Queen."
>you take his hand and gracefully swing your legs out of the car
"What could possibly make you do that??"
>he shrugs with a smile
>"I saw it on an old TV show and I had to try it while I had this car."
>you hold back a snort-laugh
>of course; because of some dumb TV show
"Maybe you need some more practice," you taunt
>you get out of the car and he closes the door behind you
>the chill breeze hit your legs as your heels touched the ground
>the cloudless sky is black with darkness, but the stars shine
>your nose detects a hint of cigarettes in the air
>apparently smoking is popular in Summertown
>but you put that aside
>"Maybe you need to watch it, Your Highness."
>he pinches the skin on your elbow
"Ow! Anon!"
>"You feel that? That's how my heart feels when you poke fun at me."
>he says this, trying to sound hurt
>he's joking, of course
"Well get used to it, loser."
>you grab his arm, escort style, and he starts walking towards the restaurant
>"Remember, we're both losers."
"And royalty, now!"
>he looks smug again
>you feel his idiocy returning
>he changes his voice to sound haughty and vain
>"That is correct. Thine King demands thou refer to him as such, henceforth. Backtalk shall be rewarded with demotion to a position of 'slave.'"
>you play along
"Of course, my lord. Thine Queen shalt remember such."
>he chuckles as you two walk
>"Shit, that felt super nerdy."
"Well, we /are/ a couple of losers."
>"Yeah, I guess we are."
>there is some silence after he says that; barring the sound your heels make upon making contact with the pavement
>you look to the sky again and take in how pretty the stars look
"It's a pretty night out tonight, Anon."
>without missing a beat, he responds
>"Yeah. A pretty night with a pretty girl."
>>25407383
Sure, rite after i finish fingerin ye nan
>>25407465Fuck you, I just spit my drink all over the place laughing at this.Also, thank you for the kek.
>>25407403
In flanders fields the R3tarDs grow
Between the bumpers, row on row
That mark his place and in the sky.
Pegasi, still being awesome, fly
Scarce seen among the keks below
>>25407465
i'll bash ye fookin head in mate 1v1 me
>>25407457
so cozy
>>25407613
u fockin jelly m8, if u fokin mess wiv me u mess wiv ma squad. stop sittin there wiv ya cheeky nando's yu feckin coont rag and fockin get on me level.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUMP
>>25407836
u fookin w0t m90 i have mah bois wi'h me ya cheeky ass cunt spit theyll fookin shit on yer
Oh fuck I give up. You win.I'm still the original Bumpfag though
>>25407945
I'm actually British, I can go on like this for as long as I like. You only have so much chav in you
>>25407979
Best git y'r spurs on, 'cause y'r 'bout to git an asswhoopin' from th' suthurn yanks.
>>25407979
Oh well, I'm only half British. Well played.
bump
>>25407465 kek
>>25355338
I went to the pastebin in the OP but no way that's it. It's just way too short for the amount of shit that hppened. Can any body post real link with full paste so far? Or maybe pastebin fucked up?
>>25408670
http://pastebin.com/wnBmVqHw
This seems to be the one he's updating.
>>25408825
>http://pastebin.com/wnBmVqHw
Yeah it seems that this is the real one. Thank you anon.
page 10 bump
Budump badrump
Where the fuck is R3tard.
>>25410860
Well it's his birthday, so he's probably getting laid.
>>25410888
Then why don't you write you twat?:^)
>>25410906
I am, just not here.
BUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMPBUMP
PAGE 10 HUT
One last bump before bed. Someone watch this thread in my stead
>>25410888
Trips confirm R3tarD is getting some right nowhe deserves it
Bumperino 8-pagerino
BUMP OF JUSTICE
Going to sleep bump. Bai guis
come on R3tard, thread wont be up forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMSTqKmYZjs
>>25415876
Dude he just had his birthday last night.
It's gonna be a while before he can find his way out of that ocean of pussy that his quad-born ass was undoubtedly drowning in last night.
>>25407457
>as you get closer to the door, you start to imagine how different living in Canterlot is compared to Summertown
>Anon opens the door for you, and you walk in
>as you step inside the eatery,
>the smell of fresh, warm food invades your nose
>several people are waiting to be seated, standing against the walls of the entrance, or sitting in long benches
>the bustle of several conversations being had at once happens around you
>you can't help but notice two things
>the vast majority of the people in the restaurant are adults, 30-70 age, all wearing semi-formal attirepic
>and they're almost all speaking with a varying degree of an accent that you're not used tovariants of Brooklyn-ish accent; think of Goodfellas
>there's a guy at a podium talking to another couple, telling them how long they would have to wait for a table
>podium guy seems to be around the same age as yourself
>but as soon as the couple walks off to wait for an open table,
>Anon looks towards the guy behind the podiumAnon = A
>A: "Yo, Thunder!!"
>the guy looks up, and his face immediately brightens up to a nearly animated level
>"Ey, Non!!"
>he's speaking with a hard accent, same one you thought you heard from the customers; and did he call Anon, 'Non'?
>he runs over to Anon and they have what can only be known as a bro-hug
>when this happens, you take a few steps to the side, not waning to get in the way
>"Where's your ass been, huh?? You didn't forget about us Summertown bastards, did ya?"
>A: "Hell no, man. I've just been busy."
>there is clearly a friendship between the two
>podium guy speaks with a volume that does not care if other people outside of his conversation can hear his dialogue
>he swivels his head to look behind him, then holds up his index finger to Anon
>"Ey, lemme get the boys real quick."
>>25416120
https://youtu.be/2KEPvQMkN9s
>song plays quietly over the old ceiling speakers
>podium guy runs over to what you perceive to be the kitchen door, and opens said door
>"EYY, VITO, JOE; COME OUT HERE! NON'S HERE!!"
>the guy comes back towards you and Anon in company of two other guys this time
>one of them says "EYYYY, Non!" and walks up to Anon for a similar bro-hug
>you look to Anon, and see his genuine smile
>these must be some of his old friends
>A: "Joe! How've you been, man?"
>"Holdin' up, ya know?"
>this 'Joe' guy talks with a similar accent as the 'Thunder'/Podium guy
>the last guy steps up to greet Anon with a firm handshake and a one-armed hug
>"Anon, it is very pleasant to see you again."
>the last guy, 'Vito' talks with a very fancy Canterlot accent; one that the 'upper crust' would use in the rich district
>they all get to talking again as if it's a family reunion, without even looking at you
>they congratulate him on the win against Crystal Prep, update him on some important local news, and ask him how Canterlot is
>A: "Man, I tell you guys, Canterlot is just different. It idn't Summertown once you leave, ya know?"
>idn't?
>is he... talking a little differently??
>'Thunder' speaks up again, "Yeah but how different? Is it true that all of the girls over there are hot? Cuz I've seen a few and buddy... I'm thinkin' of moving."
>Anon leans in and lowers his voice to answer; you can't hear what he said
>but their guffaws after he finished his answer give you an idea of what the answer might have beenpic
>then the 'Joe' guy gets a look at you and says "You here with Non?"
>still not used to the nickname of 'Non' you take a second to answer
"Umm, yes."
>when you speak, the guys' conversation stops
>they all give Anon a thumbs up and a smug head nod
>>25416120
>>25416224
Senpai is back <3
>>25416224
>the 'Joe' guy takes a step towards you and extends a hand for a handshake
>which you return
>he's wearing a chef's uniform, with no hat
>he's tall and bulky, with a brownish hair
>he looks like he could play football>or kill someone with his bare hands
>but from what you have seen and heard of him so far,
>he sounds like he wouldn't hurt a fly
>and he seems very friendly
>"You'll hafta forgive my two friends here; these dumb guineas wouldn't know manners if it bit them in their marinara asses."
>you notice that these guys have no problem cursing at high volume in public,
>it kinda makes you uncomfortable, but if Anon is okay with it...
"Oh, no, it's okay."
>"What's your name, sweetheart?"
>you weren't sure how to feel about being called 'sweetheart' by this guy, but he seems really nice and Anon looks perfectly fine with it
>he's just being nice
"Sunset."
>"Ey, what a beautiful name. Mine's Joe."
>Anon chuckles a little bit
>A: "Hey Joe, tell her your /real/ name."
>Joe sighs and looks back at you
>Joe: "I got the nickname 'Doughnut Joe' because I make the brunch here on Sundays."pic
>A: "And because you eat half of what you make."
>another round of laughs from everyone except yourself and Joe
>Joe only chuckles with an embarrassed smile
>>25416299
>before you can say 'nice to meet you'
>'Thunder' bumps Joe out of the way, and says to him "Fuck yahself, you potato farmin' bastard. Who said you could call us 'guineas' anyways?"
>Thunder has a medium height for a guy, and a two-toned silver hair
>he's wearing the same as the rest of the floor staff: black pants, white shirt, red tie
>but his shirt is crumpled in several places, sleeves poorly rolled up his arms, and whatever knot he used on his tie looks terrible
>he definitely seems the most abrasive of the bunch
>he turns to you, lowers his voice, and offers to shake your hand
>which you do
>"Da name's Thunderlane, Sunset. Awful nice to meet ya."
"You too."Thunderlane = TL
>TL: "Ey Sunset, you wouldn't happen ta have any /single/ friends, would ya?"
>Anon laughs hysterically
>Joe: "See? No manners."
>Vito just shakes his head and facepalms, then says "Thunder, I say. That is a wondrous way to embarrass yourself."
>Thunder looks around at his friends
>TL: "Anon, back me up, will ya!?"
>Anon, still laughing, "Hell no, Thunder. You're on your own for this one."
>Thunder looks back at you
>TL: "Uhh, sorry. You don't hafta answer that."
>being severely uncomfortable, you search for a response
"It's uh... it's okay."
>Thunder looks and takes a step back towards Anon
>TL: "Eyy Non, she's with you??"
>he nods, "Yep,"
>TL: "Ey fuck you too then, she's a dime 'nd a half! Since when do /you/ pick up 10s??"
>he says as if you're suddenly not present anymore..
>Anon shrugs while snickering and says "This week, apparently."
>>25416431
>as the guys start talking again, the one you haven't met yet separates himself to walk over to you
>he too offers his palm
>"My name is Fancy Pants. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sunset."Fancy Pants = FP
>Fancy is also a taller guy, but not as tall as Joe
>medium build, with blue, slicked back hair
>his especially clean shave and pricey suit tells you that he isn't regular staff here
>his Canterlot accent and softer tone puts you at a little more at ease than the other two guys
>especially Thunder
"Thanks. I thought I heard Thunder call you 'Vito?'"
>FP: "Ah, yes. It is a nickname from a movie."
>the other guys still talking, are not paying attention to your own conversation
"Oh, okay. Your accent is pretty strong; do you live in Canterlot?"
>FP: "Why thank you, and no, I do not live in Canterlot. Would you like to know a secret?"
>you're not sure what that might entail, but you nod your head 'yes'
>he leans over to get closer to your ear
>and his accent changes to how Thunder and Joe talk, but much quieter
>FP: "This is how I actually talk, but since I'm the manager here I use a Canterlot accent; that way the customers don't give me shit."
>he backs up to a normal distance again
>you're honestly impressed
"Your Canterlot accent is /spot on./ How did you learn to do that?"
>FP: "Several trips to the great city and hours of people-watching. I plan on owning a business in the city one day. 'When in Canterlot...' you know."
"That makes sense..."
>he smiles and nods his head
>FP: "Well once again, it is a pleasure to meet you."
>you nod
"A pleasure to meet you as well."
>he goes back to the other guys
>you move closer to Anon
>and by doing so, you can hear their conversation going on
>TL: "... and the bitch wouldn't even put out. Can you believe that!? Six months, and nothin'!!"
>>25416485
My hopes and dreams for this ship have been completely destroyed forever.
>>25355338
Will we get any parts with the Sugarcoat?
>>25417710
We're lucky we got that small little Shadow Five mention during the Homecoming game. It was there to appeal to people who liked Friendship Games I'm sure.
>>25417739
Shame, i'd love to read about Sugarcoat trying to get Sugardaddy Anon.
page 9 bump
bamp.
>>25362041
>>25362095
>>25362187
>>25417958
We can't give up hope. Maybe R3tarD will provide.
>>25372026
>>clones of Chef Boyardee himself are fucking flying out of your pants
Jebus, FR you're too good at this
