Anon, you said your people knew the ways of war, Correct? Well the Griffon Imperium has invaded Northern Equestria and the Crystal Empire. We are asking you to be Shining Armor's adviser. Will you accept?
>>21516500
Does it look like I'm from /k/?
>advisor
Make me the General, then I save your empire
>>21516500
sure.
ok faggot, heres what you need to do. first off, get better helmets for these faceless guards. seriously, a fucking infiltrator could capture a single guard and wed never know about it. assign them into squads so they can watch over each other.
First step: Surround horse cocks in bladed armor
Second step: Make horses have a fetish for griffin warriors
Third step: Use some magic pheromone on horses
Fourth step: Watch as the horses mercilessly >rape
>>21516500
Don't worry, I've played plenty of RTS games.
>>21516500
Yes, step one, we invent the most holy of my people's artifacts given to us by the saint of saints, the child of the murdercube itself.
>>21516500
Of course!
Now, first and foremost, I'm gonna need a few battalions of these...
>>21516602
>Well, first send this squad of... 600 earth ponies? to their deaths as a distraction, then throw a nuke on the field.
>>21516608
>Mosin-Nagant
I like how you think
>>21516608
>Mosin-Nagant
I like how you think
>>21516500
>You kneel in front of the Royal Diarchs.
"Of course you majesties. It is my pleasure to serve my new home.
>You rise and look over to Captain Shining Armor.
>"We are glad you accepted. We ponies do not know the ways of war."
>You nod curtly.
"Okay. Here's what I'll need. The total number of pegasi we have, the entire Canterlot Mages guild, a book on how weather control works EXACTLY, unlimited access to tea - milk, three sugars, not too hot - oh, and a spiffy uniform. Something with a cape and HUGE pauldrons."
>Shining Armor looks at you dubiously.
>"You better be worth this, Anonymous of Earth."
>You give him a grin which distorts your green mask into a creepy rictus.
"Oh, trust me Captain - this is my element. This is what my race is known for. This is what we DO."
Keep going?
>>21516500
You know, as I'm looking at the picture, it would be fucking neato if someone actually filmed an actually good movie about humanized MLP. Like, they wouldn't be ponies and the whole "pony" thing wouldn't be mentioned anywhere in the movie, but it would still be about the same characters, with the same personalities, same world setting. It would just be, you know, more realistic, with real world problems to solve, like was, social problems, and so on.
Now, which actors do you think are fitting for the respective characters?
>>21516564
B-but that is the traditional armor. We have used those helmets for centuries!
>>21516718
Yes!
>>21516752
>spodermeme
>>21516500
I can give some advice on how to restructure your forces.... but I think for strategy and tactics it would be best for you to just read On War by Carl Von Clausewitz and The Art Of War by Sun Tzu.
I have some annotated copies if you'd like them. They've worn a bit thin over the years, but they're still good.
>>21516895
Maybe I failed to make that clear, but I was talking about an actual motion picture with actual, live actors, not yet another animated piece of crap, and definitely not anything like any of these chinese cartoons that barely have 10 FPS most of the time.
>>21516718
Writefag, where are u?
>>21516500
Why do they look like there from dark souls
>"Come on Anonymous, I'll take you to the planning chamber."
>You nod and fall into step with him.
>While he's got four legs, yours are longer, so you keep pace with him.
>He leads you through the halls of Canterlot, up and down some stairs.
>Eventually your internal map fails as you enter a more disused section of the palace.
>Your path terminates with a wall after you climbed some stairs that felt like it took an hour.
>Well, guess you'll be skipping leg day.
>He points his horn at the wall, both of which begin to glow, and the wall just folds into itself.
>A spacious chamber opens up before the two of you.
>That's the first thing you notice.
>The second thing you don't notice because the dust makes you cough.
"Captain, when was the last time this place was used?"
>Shining Armor is coughing too, but still manages to do it in a more polite way than you.
>"Ah. The last conflict was over 400 years ago."
>What
"What!?"
>He looks away.
>"Anon, we're a peaceful species. I only got this job because I'm strong in defensive magics and have a mind for strategy and tactics."
>You nod again and look around the room now that the dust has settled.
>A bunch of small bookshelves, a giant table, a chandelier, a couple of stools shaped for a pony, a bunch of smaller tables, and a giant window.
>Not much to go on.
"Okay, Captain? First question - do you have an adjutant?"
>"A what?"
"An assistant. Some kind of lieutenant that you and I can boss around, tell to fetch stuff, and coordinate things?"
>He thinks about it for a moment.
>"Yes. His name is Comet Blaze."
"Good. Can you summon him here?"
>"Yes."
>He walks over to the window, hoofs it open horn glowing, and conjures up a trumpet, which he then blows in a particular pattern.
>He then throws the trumpet out of the window, where it explodes in a red flare.
>You walk to the window and peer out.
>You see a red-white pegasus flying towards you.
>He hangs mid-air and snaps a salute.
>"El-Tee Comet Blaze reporting for duty SAH!"
>>21516500
>Alright, Shining, first we move our southern forces here, and here..that should open things up for allied Zebra and Dragon forces right here.
>"..Anon, what does 'Monopoly' mean and why is it on this 'map' of yours?"
>FOOL, ONCE WE TAKE PACIFIC AVENUE AND BOARDWALK WE'LL BE UNSTOPPABLE!
>>21517069
Sorry, 4chan is being very slow.DAMMIT MOOT
>You and Shining Armor exchange glances.
>You feel an grin spread over your face and are pleased to see one reflected in your co-commander.
>He nods at Comet Blaze.
>"We have recruited the human Anonymous as our plurpotent war advisor. I hereby promote him to rank of Captain. He is to be shown the same respect and afforded the same authority as I am. Is that understood?"
>Comet Blaze snaps another salute.
>"SAH YES SAH!"
>He then turns to you, salute still in place.
"SAH, waiting for orders, SAH!"
>You nod at him.
"Okay. First off, at ease."
>He relaxes a bit, mid-air, and his hooves go slack.
>Heh.
>That's pretty cute actually.
"Now, I'm gonna need a lot of stuff. I'm also going to need this stuff FAST, y'know. So. I need maps. Maps of the Crystal Empire, maps of Northern Equestria, maps of the Griffon Imperium. Let's see. I need the results of the pony census, I need-"
>Shining Armor taps you on the shoulder.
>"Anonymous? That's HUGE. Maybe you'd better hold off on that, and just go down there yourself."
>Right, that makes sense.
"Okay, belay that last order. I need a beautiful serving mare who will pour me tea. I need a uniform, so if you could run over to the postal office and shoot a message to one Rarity, in Ponyville, and ask her to come here on behalf of the crown."
>You rub your chin.
"Okay. Next, I need you to summon whichever pony is in charge of the Canterlot Magic Academy, the Royal Historian, and the head of the Weather Patrol team for Canterlot. Got all that?"
>He snaps another salute.
"SAH! Maps of Northern Equestria, the Crystal Empire, and the Griffon Kingdoms! Message to Rarity of Ponyville, regarding matters of the crown. Find the head of Weather Patrol, the Archmagister, and the Royal Historian, SAH!"
>You raise an eyebrow, but then rememeber that you're wearing a mask, and lower it down.
"And the beautiful mare to serve me tea?"
>Shining Armor coughs pointedly.
>>21516500
>"Princess, what does the engraving on my breastplate say?"
>"We do not sow."
>You nod.
"We do not sow."
>"But what does that even mean?"
"It means relax, I've got this."
>>21516500
nigga, some of my paople may know about them wars, but all my strategicall experience comes from a videogame I haven't even beaten yet
>>21517367
>"Anon, the military cannot conscript ponies into service. Especially service that isn't integral to the war effort."
>You spin and glare at him.
"Yeah, well, if you want to win this war, you're going to have to. Ponies are NOT fighters, you said so yourself."
>You pull up one of the stools and sit down on it and raise your finger.
"Back on Earth, there were really two types of conflicts. Ones where large armies would crash into one another, and whomever would have more soldiers standing at the end of the battle, would win. Equestria would LOSE that kind of war."
>You lower your finger.
"The other option is technological and tactical supremacy. Since Equestria doesn't have technology but has magic, then that's what we're going to use. THAT kind of war, we WILL win."
>Shining Armor and Comet Blaze look at you with strange expressions.
>You stand up.
"Okay. Belay the order about the mare for now as well."
>They continue staring.
"NOW GET MOVING! DIS-MISSED!"
>This seemed to have an effect, as Shining Armor jumps back, and Comet Blaze fires off another salute, and flies out of the window.
>Shining Armor watches him leave and then turns to you.
>"Anon, I want you to understand something. Our military is pretty much all decorative. We don't give orders to civilians, they give orders to us."
>You shrug.
"But you have one. And that's the important bit. And I'm banking on something that you ponies are good at."
>You point to his cutie mark.
"Highly specialized talents."
>You gesture towards the door.
"I think it's going to take some time before he gets back. Before we lock ourselves inside Command and Control - that's what we're calling this room now - we're going to the Census Bureau."
>He trots and you walk out of the room.
>"Funny enough, Anonymo-"
"Stop. Call me Anon, just like my friends do."
>He flashes you a smile.
>"Great! You can call me Shiny then."
Heil fucking Hitler
>>21516500
>You look at Celestia with a huge grin
"Heil fucking Hitler!"
Anon is austrian, agreed ?
because Führer ...
>>21517609
Dude, this story sound really great.
10/10 would follow into another thread
>>21517753
This.
>>21517609
>You stop suddenly and extend your arm towards him.
>He looks at you quizzically, then goes "oh," gives a laugh, and pounds his hoof into your palm.
>You grab it and shake it instead.
>You cough awkwardly.
"Yeah, let's keep moving."
>"Yeah. And we never speak of this again."
>You almost slip on the spaghetti that spilled out both of your pockets.
"So..."
>"Yeah?"
"Does your Census actually keep track of cutie marks?"
>He nods.
>"Sure. That's how we know if a specialist is needed. But I don't know what you're thinking. Nopony that I know of has a cutie mark related to tactics or combat. I'm one of the few, and my talent is more magical than cerebral. Unlike my sister, heh."
"Oh yeah, congratulations on that, by the way. A Princess! How cool is that?"
>He laughs and you actually hear how happy he is for her.
>"Yeah. She's an amazing mare. You were friends back when you lived in Ponyville?"
"Still are. We exchange letters often. Remind me to tell you the time when I tried fighting Tirek for her."
>You laugh grimly.
>If it wasn't for healing magic, you'd be in a wheelchair right now.
>He nods.
>"She told me about that actually. Your idea -was- sound. You forgot that he got Earth pony strength."
>Wincing, you hold the door for him, and follow out into the courtyard.
"Yeah, well. Which is why I have a bunch of ideas and we're going to pursue all of them."
>You are lost in thought for a moment.
>Twilight Sparkle...
>She was pretty smart.
>And she frequently fights badass threats to Equestria.
>And..
>Well...
>You miss her.
>She has her Princess duties, and while you were more of a layabout, than a pluripotent ambassador of the humans, Princess Celestia was nice enough to give you a job managing and cataloguing pieces of Precursor human technology.
>What you wouldn't give for an archeological find that has an IS-2 tank or a B-2 bomber...
>Shining Armor pokes you with a hoof.
>"Anon? You're a million miles away."
>>21517829
>>She has her Princess duties, and while you were more of a layabout, than a pluripotent ambassador of the humans, Princess Celestia was nice enough to give you a job managing and cataloguing pieces of Precursor human technology.
>What you wouldn't give for an archeological find that has an IS-2 tank or a B-2 bomber...
What?
>>21516720
>>21517829
Lurking and waiting. Good read so far
>>21517829
lurking and waiting. Good read so far.
>>21517753
>>21517779
D'aww, thanks you guys. It's good to be back.
>>21517829
>You give a sheepish grin.
"Sorry. I was just thinking... Twilight fights threats to Equestria. She's pretty much five-for-five, right?"
>He nods slowly.
>"Anon, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not? Hell, she's a genius. We wouldn't send her out to fight. She'd be safe here in Canterlot."
>He thinks a bit.
>"I'll send her a message. Technically, the hierarchy is Princess Celestia, then Princess Luna, then Heartfl-, er, Princess Cadance, and only THEN Princess Twilight Sparkle."
>You fix him with a stare.
"I would point out that Princesses Celestia and Luna already know. And how's the Crystal Empire doing? Oh that's right. It's already been conquered."
>He growls at you.
>Literally.
>"Take that back."
"I'm sorry Shining Armor. That was a low blow."
>He nods and holds a door open for you.
>"Census Office is this way."
"Thanks. But I am right though. We need to view the world as it is. The overall gist is to recapture the Crystal Empire and the lost North. Then we push back - hard. So that they don't think about doing this for another 1000 years."
>He grumbles a bit.
>"Fine. Apology accepted and you're right."
"I really gotta admit, Shiny - if we're gonna keep being this awkward around one another... let's go for a beer in the evening?"
>He rears and whinnies.
>You blink.
>Oh right.
>Extreme approval.
"I knew you'd approve."
>The two of you walk into the Census Bureau.
>Lots of ponies are scurrying about, forms in mouths, while others are sorting them.
>The sound of rustling papers and voices shouting about names and addresses fill your ears.
>The two of you walk up to the front desk, with Shiny flattening his ears against his skull.
>You envy him right now.
>You ring the bell.
>The Earth pony receptionist holds up a hoof at you as she's talking to a co-worker.
>"One moment please - yes, so you'll need twelve Bee Bee El You forms. Then run them over to Corrections."
>>21518179
Patiently bumping
>>21517512
But the Griffins also had an otherworldly general...
>>21518179
>She turns to you.
"Oh, Captain! Good to see you. And you, Mister
Anonymous. What can we do for you."
>The two of you exchange glances and then Shining
Armor speaks up.
>"Well, we'd like a copy of the Census."
>She beams at you, reaches down to pull a drawer open,
takes out two forms and pushes them over to you.
>"Here you go! Though I must admit, you picked a
rather odd way of going about it! You could've just filled it out at home."
>The two of you exchange glances again.
"Uhhh. No. I already sent mine in. No, you misunderstood us. We want THE Census. Like, the whole thing."
>She gives you a blank look.
>"The results of the Census? The completed information? You know."
>She looks fixes you with another blank stare and then nods with determination.
>"Right. Please follow me."
>She swings the door open for you and gestures for you to follow her.
>The two of you do so as she leads you through the maze of cubicles, filing cabinets, and ponies running around with papers.
>Eventually she leads you to a large door, which she opens for you.
>"You'll need to work in here for a bit. I'll grab Cipher Roll for you."
>With that she bolts out.
>"Huh. That was weird."
>You hold out your fist to Shiny who bumps it with his hoof.
"Duuude I was just thinking that."
>The two of you chuckle for a bit and then look around the room.
>It's... intimidating.
>Giant filing cabinets, twice your size, and maybe 3-4 the height of a pony.
>Shining Armor looks at you.
>"So... Anon. I'm guessing you want cutie marks that are war related? Shields, armor, spears, muscles, that sort of thing? We pretty much have all of those in the guard. Also we generally have cartographers, organizers, and so on and so forth on retainer."
>Heh.
>You sit down and pull your mask off.
>"Whoah. Dude, you look... whoah."
"Heh. Yeahhhh. Rarity broke it down why my face tends to unsettle ponies."
>You see his flanks tremble as though he wants to kick you.
"Yep, and you just saw my canines. Sorry."
>>21518387
Possible idea since you're already doing this. Ponies should play to their strengths fighting griffons and you're doing this already, but they should also avoid the griffons' strengths.
The most obvious is air supremacy. Even with pegasi, they're still going to win on that because they can ALL fly.
So using underground fortifications (earth ponies can dig) and forcing the griffons to fight indoors and in tight areas neutralizes their advantage there.
I'm having dinner, so I'm gonna take a 15 minute break.
>>21518483
Yeah, I thought about that. But there are gonna be time skips in the story, because I don't think it's necessary to detail everything out. Basically, Anon is gonna give out orders, some stuff happens, and then resolution. I do not know enough about warfare to actually detail everything down.
>>21517902
Ehhh, it's a thing I have. My headcannon is that humans are basically Precursors in equestria, and the reason why the ponies tolerate Anon is because he can actually understand what a hair dryer is for vs a tablet or something.
>>21518387
Bump
>>21518387
>He shakes his head.
>"No, keep it off. You don't need to hide your muzzle from me."
"Face."
>"Right, face. Sorry."
>You start to grin at him, but then turn it to a polite smile with less teeth.
"I'll put it back on when Cipher Roll is about to come in. I'm sure we'll hear him. ANYWAY. No, we're looking for something else. Let me tell you the codenames we're going to use, and what we're looking for."
>You look around and find a convenient piece of paper, quill, and inkwell.
>You jot down two symbols.
>He looks at them and looks at you.
>"Y'know. It could just be me, but I got a bad feeling about this. These symbol look off."
>You nod.
"Yeah. The thing is, back on Earth, I was really not anything special. Just another person. But I always had a theory, that if war was to be waged, it should be waged to WIN."
>You tap the paper.
"And these two symbols basically prevented any sort of conflict from arising, ever since they were deployed."
>He frowns.
>"Anon, Equestria is a peaceful place-"
"That is now at WAR! You don't get a silver medal being in second place!"
>He shrinks away.
>"I don't know if this is a good idea."
>You frown.
"Okay, tell you what? These will be "last resort" things."
>He shakes his head.
>"No. No. We shouldn't have gotten a predator from another world to do out planning for us! What were we thinking?!"
>Is this bitch serious?
>You smack him across the muzzle.
>He stares at you in shock.
"Now listen to me Shiny. You can't be second-guessing me all the time. I told you, you don't get second place... okay, hold on."
>You pull the mask back on your face.
>Shining Armor takes a couple of deep breaths.
>"Okay. Okay. I'm all right, sorry Anon."
>You nod at him, but give a wince that you hope he won't notice.
"Yeah, null sweat. Now, let's finish these off, and go to some of the other ideas."
>You tap the first symbol."Project Detrick."
>You tap the second one."Manehattan Project."
Reroll>>21518863
Oh fug
>>21518863
>ponies with Nukes
>check HOI mods
>two
>both abandoned
Damn it. And everything else is too early.
>>21518906
Shit wrong thread
>>21518863
>He looks up at you.
>"Why Manehattan? And what's the other word."
"Well, in case the griffons have spies. We now refer to these things by their codenames and if they spies, they won't know what the hay we're talking about."
>Hay.
>You just fucking said "hay" instead of "hell."
>You've been here too long.
>You shake your head and continue.
"So, what we need for Manehattan is ponies with that as their cutie mark. Any sort of glowing rock, anything that looks like multiple orbits around a center, and anything that looks like a wave made out of energy."
>He nods.
"For the other, we'll need ponies that have that as the cutie mark, anything that looks like an inverted onion bulb on spider legs, a hairy potato. We'd also
want doctors."
>"Okay. Now what were your other ideas?"
"Now, griffons are on average stronger than ponies, and they can all fly. Only some Earth ponies would be stronger than griffons and only a third of ponies can fly. How is griffon magic?"
>He thinks about it.
>"Not sure. I haven't heard about it, to be honest."
"Fine. We'll assume that unicorns aren't our ace in the hole. We also have the alicorns, so that's good. What about navies, do any of the races have those?"
>He shakes his head and mouths the word slowly.
>"No. What are those? We don't have one, and we would've heard if the griffons do."
>You sigh.
"Ships."
>"Oh, well, everypony and uh. Everygriffon has those."
>You shake your head.
"No, Shiny. Warships. Ships that can sink and or neutralize other ships."
>He thinks about it.
>"Nnnno, I don't think so. And you said it yourself, griffons are flyers. I don't think they could sail their way out of a paper bag."
>Evil laughter bubbles from your chest.
"Excellent! So! There were three components in human warfare - air supremacy, naval supremacy, and ground supremacy. And each one makes the other easier."
>He nods slowly.
>"And because the griffons have no ships, we pretty much have naval supremacy."
>You nod.
>>21518863
>Attempting to create nukes and bio weaponry in Equestria
The official projects took years to complete, and that was in the 1900's. Imagine Equestria, a land devoid of all tech and possibly comparable to the BC times, if not at least the 1800's. Just imagine how long it would take for them to even scratch the surface on how both these weapons work.
>>21519033
Boom.
>>21519033
"Yes. Almost. We'd need it to actually do something. But that's for later. Also, since this is a land of colorful equines, griffons, dragons, and all the rest of the sentients on this place, you all have magic. So we need to establish magical superiority as well. I mean, wouldn't it be terrible if we were winning, and then the griffons slap us with a Wrath of God or something?"
>He looks at you blankly.
>But your head feels like it's on creative fire.
>Visions of pegasi, unicorns, and Earth ponies dance in your head.
"Assuming you're matched-"
>You cut yourself off as the door opens.
>A beige pegasus walks in, with a cutie mark of a red scroll on his flank.
>"Ah, Prince Shining and Mister Anonymous. So good to see the two of you in our archives! What do I owe the pleasure of this visit."
>You wish you were better at reading ponies.
>You're not sure whether this guy is mocking you or not.
>Glancing over at Shiny, you notice that he seems at ease.
>So probably not insulting.
>SA:"Good day to you as well. I'm sure you've heard of what happened over in the north."
>He nods slowly and sadly.
>CR: "Yes. My apologies, Prince Shining Armor, for the loss of your homeland."
>He nods curtly.
>CR: "Though I must ask, how come you're not there, leading the charge? I would think someone with your magic prowess could turn the tide of battle all on his own."
>He gives a forced laugh at that.
>SA: "You do me too much honor. I'm a candle compared to the bonfire of my sister. And besides, the Royal Sisters decided to use the unique talents of the resident human. He'll be doing most of the planning."
>He smiles and nods vehemently.
>CR: "Of course, of course. Magic resistance, height, and excellent stamina should prove to be quite advantageous on the field of battle."
>You smile politely and incline your head at him.
"I'll risk repeating my counterpart - you do me too much honor."
>He laughs politely.
>It's like he and Rarity were separated at birth.
>>21519071
Shhhhhhhh
>>21516720
>>21516500
>JJ
>>21519302
>CR: "Nonsense, nonsense. Now, what can the Census Bureau do for you?"
>Shining Armor launches into an explanation of what you need.
>You would make the joke that Cipher Scroll's face keeps getting longer and longer, but you'd feel bad.
>He is a pony after all.
>Also, Shining Armor is a smart motherfucker.
>He never mentioned what he needed this for, or what your plans are."
>Still...
>Flickers of doubt flicker through your skull.
>SA: "And we finally we'll defer to your judgment. You see what we need."
>Cipher Scroll frowns, but nods.
>CR: "Yes... this is quite the pickle Equestra is in. I'll get assistants in on this. I assume you want them not to talk and gossip?"
>What a perfect set up."
"Yes. And you'll be held personally responsible if anyone outside of you, the Princesses, Prince Shining Armor and myself... and of course the assistants."
>You lift your mask up and smile.
>Well.
>You show teeth.
>He backs away slowly.
>CR: "But of course - I understand completely. My lips are sealed. As are that of my employees."
>He winks conspiratorially.
>SA: "Good. Then we are in agreement."
>Cipher Scroll makes shooing motions with his forehooves.
>CR: "Very well then. Out, out, yon beasts of war! I shall send a messenger when this task is complete."
>You and Shining Armor exchange glances again.
"Yyyyyyesss. We'll talk to you later."
>SA: "Yep! See you around, Cipher Scroll."
>CR: "Roll."
>SA: "My bad."
>The two of you make your way out of the office.
"You know, I feel I could really use the beer now. Think we can take some back to Command?"
>He whinnies and rears again.
"You know, when my face freaks you out, that's fine and normal. When it's you about to kick me into next week, that's fine."
>He stands back on four hooves and looks a bit hurt.
>"Sorry, got a bit carried away. Anyway. Beer run?"
"Beer run."
-END PART I-
>Pastebin
http://pastebin.com/fYC1YNPK
So, I need to go do stuff, but I need a slightly longer break.
>>21516500
Sure.
>>21519071
>nukes
I agree with you on this one, they don't have the knowledge or industry to support that. However I would I would plan "Intel leaks" to make the Griffons think they do.
>Bio weapons
Bio weapons have been used in war for centuries, The unicorns could weaponise a plague meant for griffons, have a team of pegasi introduce it to the Griffon homeland (farm towns prefered), while having the Earth ponies work on entrenching the front. Wait for the plague to cause famine or kill them all. Either way the ponies could advance to reclaim their lands as well as cripple the Griffons by taking key locations.
>>21519071
>>21519406
Well, the way I see it, cutie marks (which means that fate itself wants you to do this) and magic (which nullifies the needs for centrifugation and conversion. Plus, alchemy.
Bioweapons are easier. I'm not saying the ponies are gonna have genetic engineering. Pretty much I'll answer stuff. Plus, there's other stuff that Anon is gonna do, that's more conventional.
>>21519071
The basic form of biological warfare consists of putting corpses in a populated area or its water supply. This was not a difficult concept.
Off the top of my head, the first record of biological warfare was from the 6th century BCE; the Assyrians poisoned water supplies with fungus as standard procedure.
>>21519406
>dat bio weapons strat
Makes us all wonder why the war isn't won yet.inb4 there wouldn't be any story
All this military strategy is making me hard.
>>21516500
AFFIX BAYONETS!
>>21517241
"THE GRIFFONS WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO GET THROUGH ONCE WE PLACE HOTELS THERE."
>>21516500
Idefect
>>21516500
I think you need this guy right here.
"Very well, show me to the Gryphon Princess so I may fuck your species into a truce."
I got this, Princess...
>>21520122
This guy gets it
Bumpin foe da green
>>21516500
Yes, I can help your ponies but it will cost you princess. Be prepared to get me what I need after the deed is done and all will go as planed.
We will have peace in these lands, and through power it shall be kept
>>21516500
>...Your...Your Highness...
>Are you...sure of this request?
Celestia looks to Luna, nervously, than back to Anon
>For you have no comprehension, nor understanding of what you just said.
Celestia grew worried. "W-what do you mean Anon?"
>We do not now the ways of war
She, and Luna, and Cadence, and Shining Armor turned confused. Celestia raised her finger to interrogate-
>We know the ways of TOTAL and UTTER STERILIZATION of ALL LIFE AND NON-LIFE
>>21521189
>>We know the ways of TOTAL and UTTER STERILIZATION of ALL LIFE AND NON-LIFE
How would you sterilize non-life since it's already sterile?
>>21521216
it was more for effect.
I couldn't figure out a way to dramatically explain Nuclear Fission to humanized horses
>>21516500
"Celestia, I don't think you understand what must be done. Your precious ponies will be changed by the knowledge I can give them. There will be no going back."
>"We have no other options, Anon." Celestia said solemnly. "Do what you must."
"Adviser won't cut it. I need power and authority. Declare martial law, make me the Military Governor for the duration of the Emergency."
>"M-martial law! What about the civilian government?"
"Here by disbanded til the end of the crisis. There is a DAMN INVASION! I need authority to do what must be done! Homes are going to burn, families broken up, and ponies are going to die! Or would you rather your subject be slaves? You ponies are far to kind for me to let you condemn yourselves like that. This will take war will test all of us, we better not be found wanting."
Continue?
Yeah, couple of these and we'll be fine
>It made a stupid kind of sense, really.
>Ponies were herd creatures and they were quadrapeds
>Their non-magical combat naturally grew around tightly formed formations and momentum.
>Two groups charged at each other with sharp sticks, and the side that was more coordinated, had fewer weak spots, won.
>Sure, armor improved and the sticks got sharper, but...
>that was the sum of Equestrian ground tactics.
>jousting and friendship
>It worked well enough on the flat plains of their country but suicidal in the mountainous Griffon homeland.
>In truth, you didn't see any practical way to send troops in force deep within enemy territory
>that was until you remembered...
>ponies do stupid bullshit
bump to keep this thread alive
>>21519448
I don't think you understand how complicated refinement of uranium is. Ignoring all the machinery, just look at all scientists who died before we learned how to handle radioactive elements. Now imagine that the only pony with the atomic cutie mark dies. You are now without the only person who has the ability to work with elements or whatever.
This is why cutie marks are a curse in disguise. A human can be trained to do anything anytime within reason. A pony has to stick to a picture on its butt.
>>21522087
You a HAS member?
>>21516500
I don't know what to say, other than I humbly accept my new position. I promise you that I will help make those Griffon's pay for what they've done to our homeland!All my years of armchair general faggotry have led up to this point!
Praise Jeff Van Dyke !
GLORY BE TO THE MURDRCUBE!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
>>21522087
The specific bottleneck would be centrifuges that could separate out U-235. Also producing uranium hexafluoride gas in the first place.
You simply can't do work that precise with steam age tech.
So... Thread music?
Talvisota, sabaton. The USSR invaded Finland before and during ww2. Finns fought hard, and killed more commies than their casualties. But still lost.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_FaRAixpwIM
>>21522224
I don't understand what you're saying.
So instead, more /k/ shit.
>>21516500
Bitch please.
I won in Civilisation V on 8 level.
By cultural victory.
Griffons can surrender right now.
>>21522273
Just high school level science.
>>21522398
Oh I get it. I didn't know what you meant by bottleneck.
Yea precise centrifuges are a major problem, you you have other things to deal with as well. Finding uranium deposits, mining it, shipping it and getting it out of the ore form is harder than iron or other metals simply because of the radioactive nature. Not to mention building bombs and such needs high tech equipment too.
Wow I'm too drunk to be writing.
bumps
>>21521277
Do it faggot
>>21521277
>>21521277
Yes, please do.
>>21521277
Yes.
>>21517367
>You raise an eyebrow, but then rememeber that you're wearing a mask, and lower it down.
I liek you, writefag.
bump for writefags.
>>21521277
>The princesses seem shocked by your words, Shining seems pissed. "That is insane! The Guard has never-" You cut him off.
"Damn it Shining, do you want my help or not? I am not saying all this for fun. I CAN'T HELP YOU IF YOU WON'T LET ME! We are going to have to start a draft, seize supplies, rig the roads with traps, and a whole mess of thing ponies are going to hate us for."
>"Anon, what is a draft?" Luna asks. "What does alcohol have to do with war?"
"It means every able bodied pony over the age of majority is to conscripted."
>They just have a look about them that shows they don't understand.
"We are going to mandate they join the effort or face legal action, possible charged with treason."
>>21521277
>>21525000
I like this anon, taking more drastic measures to ensure a higher chance of victory, regardless of how unpopular it is.
>>21525075
This.
>>21525075
>>21525249
These.
>>21525000
>Three months later...
>You are in the "War Room", it was really a spare suite you ordered remodeled. Things are not well... while the Guard had managed to hold, the citizens are not happy. When your orders to place the griffon population in Equestria into detainment camps, riots broke out. Well more like food fights. You were going to execute the ringleader til Luna convinced you to have them imprisoned in stone til the war was over. Well on to current matters... Shining is informing you on how the draft is going, while you and Luna are planning strategy and tactics to teach the Guard. Celestia is still sulking, having been really down since you ordered the Guard to take no prisoners. There simply wasn't enough food. Not after you ordered the Princesses to go on strike. The sun has been out for the entire 3 months. You had order all food storage to be handed over, and were having teams set fire to the griffons food supplies.
"No we can fight them head on Luna."
>"Why is that?" She asks annoyed.
"Cause they will just take to the air, we will lose an airbattle. Let them continue to siege our trench lines. We will outlast them."
>>21519398
I demand that this story gets its own thread if it isn't finished by the time this one reaches bump limit. Welcome change to all the cloppy/relationship stories.
>>21516500
>And thus we got Total War: Equestria
>>21521277
Dubs.
>>21525000
Trips.
Checked
Only one request. I get to be the master of sieges or a monopoly over the technology and sciences of the empire.
>I'm already breaking out the hair tendrils and Mechadendrite.
>They all give me a worried look.
All of our great weapons will be of my approval.
Now this is only a prototype.
but our enemies will fear this great war machine
>>21519071
Bitch these horses somehow managed to build fucking trains and airships Not to mention there are a few scenes from the show that include Albert Einstien-esque charicter doing a crazy ass math problem Im sure they can manage to make a single atom bomb
>>21519398
WHERE ARE YOU
Where did the writefag go to this time?
bump boomp bamp
All the bumps!
Save the thread!
Up you go. Get over here writefriend.
Bumpan for excellence and green
>>21530086
Airships aren't hard. I could build a small one with a balloon and a motor.
Trains are comparatively easy compared to an atom bomb - just a boiler powering pistons with an exit valve.
Atom bombs require enriching uranium or plutonium, surrounding it in an inert shielding material, covering it in high explosive material and then transporting it to the drop site safely... All without letting it reach critical mass.
>>21530086
>He thinks building trains and airships are comparable to an atomic bomb in difficulty.
>He thinks maths is the only thing necessary in making an atomic bomb.
You need to be 18 and above to browse 4chan.
>>21516500
>Griffon Imperium has invaded Northern Equestria
Man, why's it always gotta be gryphons? Why can't it be, like, goblins or something?
>>21536030
Or canines.
Are Diamond Dogs the only group of their kind?
Surely, sleeper changelings traumatized majority of the pony population in Canterlot upon the revelation.
What stops them from doing a do-or-die invasion?
>>21536030
Because Griffons are all assholes.
Invaded? Lady, it's a field trip. Those are chickittens you're planning to ambush.
>>21536030
because Gilda gave off a poor first impression so surely they must ALL be like that.
>>21537476
Honestly, I think it has more to do with all of the early fanart and fanfics about pony/gryphon wars.
>>21536030
Multiple reasons:
>Gilda was the only one we ever sawnot counting the background ones that never spoke, and she was a dick
>Griffons are most definetly predators, which easily makes them an antagonist nation when it's all about herbivore ponies
>Griffons are the only other nationI think it was confirmed in that RD episode in cloudsdale with the wonderbolts? if not, it's still plausible as an intelligent race they have their own nation, with the exception of Saddle-arabia or whatever. Changelings would rather work in the shadows than do an up-front war.
The only other possibility would be diamond dogs
>>21537558
>Gilda was the only one we ever saw
True then, but not now.
>Griffons are most definetly predators
They could be omnivorous. The ones we've seen seem to be.
>Griffons are the only other nation I think it was confirmed in that RD episode in cloudsdale with the wonderbolts?
Not that I can find. If anything, I'd argue the opposite. They have their own flag and team at the Equestria Games. They seem to be a part of Equestria, like the Crystal Empire.
>>21537927
>they could be omnivores
I don't think that changes much.
>>21538308
I mean they may not need to eat other animals.
>>21516500
>"Will you accept?"
>Of course, you hadn't heard anything after the word invaded.
>Your people knew war. They knew it intimately.
>You find yourself falling into memories of your world.
>Of that beach.
>You can smell the ocean air, feel the cold metal of your seat, the wind blowing harshly.
>You remember.
>You remember all too well.
>"Anon?"
>The landing craft bounced across the waves, and anticipation raced through your veins.
>Your rifle was heavy in your hands, but still not heavy enough.
>Sergeant Jones was debriefing your craft.
>Your squad was going to make their way to a bunker and clear it.
>"Anon, are you alright?"
>The memory was your reality at this point, and you couldn't answer if you wanted to.
>The sound of bullets hitting the front of the landing craft drowned out what little chatter there was.
>It was time.
>Every soldier in the landing craft was standing, eager to rush out and onto the beach.
>The door popped open.
>And a hailstorm of metal became your world.
>"Anon, what's wrong?"
>Your eyes snap back into focus, and you find yourself in Canterlot once more.
"Peace has failed?"
>Your eyes are drawn out a nearby window. The Equestrian landscape is as beautiful as ever.
>"You know that we would never go to war willingly."
>You wrestle with the feeling in your gut. It's like a lead weight has taken up residence in your intestines.
>It would be so easy to walk away now, let the ponies fight their own battles.
>You glance over towards the small group of Equestrian royalty.
>Celestia's pleading eyes, Luna's cold gaze, Shining Armor's expectant stare, and Cadence's sorrowful face.
>You look back towards Equestria.
"I..."
>As much as you want, no need, to say no, your conscience won't let you.
>Your training could save countless lives.
>Or take just as many.
"I'll do it. God knows I don't want to, but I'll do it."
>Once more unto the breach.Saw this thread when I was listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZm4zseMok0
>>21538399
Neither do Humans but we're still dicks to pretty much every species we can digest.
>>21538425
Yes, but gryphons seem to get along with ponies just fine. There's no real reason to assume that they're enemies.
>>21538425
And some we can't!
>>21519071
Bio weapons have been around for a long time though. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch for them to isolate/reproduce some variety of plague.
I've never understood the whole "Equestria would lose a war" thing.
>But they have no nukes!
They an terraform. They can manipulate weather, astral bodies, and reality itself. They can teleport, they can travel in time, they can fucking break the barrier of sound. A properly trained unicorn is a living nuke, a engine of destruction capable of readjusting his tactics in mere seconds. They don't need nukes because they ARE nukes.
>But only Twilight has that much magic!
Do you have any idea of how much damage can someone make if he has telekinesis?
Give that someone a nail, and he can pierce your cornea with a through. That's how much.
>Bioweapons!
They can cure the effects of bioweapons with a bubble bath, and said bioweapons grow as a herb. What do you think would happen if 'murica is sprayed with consentrated poison joke?
Everyone in the white house would probably be transformed into literal dicks or assholes.
>But ponies are peauceful and stuff!
When Spike went on a rampage, an alarm sounded and three wonderbolts appeared, indicating than they are on a triggerhair for crap like that. Spike did beat them, but he is a dragon and they could've been scouts.
>But the rest of the world would ally with the humans!
Yeah.
Everyone would attack the raisers of the sun and the moon.
Sure.
>Other race could attack them!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
SERIOUSLY?
I MEAN GOD MAN YOU KILL ME
"Hey dude, let's kill the fucking immortal empress that raises the sun that our crops depend on! I am sure nothing could go wrong! I am sure the very embodient of chaos would be fine if we kill his only friends, especially the yellow one!"
Only humans are retarded enough to do that.
>>21540271
>Everyone would ally with the humans
What? No one said that. Did you read the tread or just let your autism flow?
The thread never said the ponies COULDN"T defend themselves. It only implies they are seeking advice. They have everything they need, but that does not mean they know how to properly conduct war.
>>21540328
I was just letting my inner sperg out for a second, wars in Equestria are a bit of a sore point in the fimfic general and I guess I got carried out.
>>21540271
Equestria wouldn't lose any war, no one said that
The idea of this thread is that they're just pretty clueless on what the fuck to do. They'd win, at best they'd just fuck up a lot at the start.
As for the wonderbolts/spike thing, with giant monsters living in the forest next to you and shit regularly happening, it isn't that surprising.
>>21540271
I'd imagine that snipers would take out the magical powerhouses, and from there it would just be a
cakewalk for us, considering we have more powerful military technology when you discount said magix.
>>21519398
>Having acquired the beer, the two of you make your way back to the Command and Control room, steady on your feet.
>The two of you aren't STUPID.
>You had two beers and that's it.
>Plus some of delicious salted cashews that the castle tavern had.
"I gotta admit Shiny - I really thought there would be a lot more panic at the state of war."
>Shining Armor laughs quietly.
>"Well, the ponies trust the Princesses. I would assume they'll be making an official proclamation soon. Probably when you present a battle plan to them?"
>You gulp nervously.
"Me? But you're the main guy. Stallion."
>"Nope. Technically, the original plan had me as your subordinate. But Cadance, Luna, and I raised a ruckus about it."
>You nod firmly.
"Yeah. This place is still sometimes... you know."
>The two of you walk in silence, hoofsteps and footsteps echoing through the halls of Canterlot Castle.
>Funny, other than his sounding a bit sharper, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
"You think Comet Blaze is back?"
>"Yeah. That was a good idea."
"We're gonna need more runners. Because I realized something else while we were drinking - I want to talk to the Princesses."
>He walks in silence for a bit longer.
>"Even I know this. The last time the Princesses engaged in combat, both of them? One thousand years ago."
"Still... ANYWAY! Marriage! How is that working out for you? Twilight told me you were thrilled."
>He bursts into laughter.
"Nice segue. But yeah, it's great. Cadance is a really sweet mare..."
>The two of you continue your ascent to the Command Room generally chit-chatting about life as a Prince. And sports coach.
>He tries to broach the subject of what you did before you fell out of that portal, but you give non-commital answers.
>While he is your friend, and it's already been 2 years, you're still having problems adapting.
>And you miss people.
>Not anyp- anyone in particular.
>People.
>Humans.
>Feeling a bit morose, you walk into the Command and Control room.
>>21541705
Tell me:
Have you ever tried to snipe a objetive that is around half as big as a person and can fly at mach 1?
Ponies are versatility itself. If for any reason there is something their magic, agility, or strenght can't do, there will be at least a few with a butt tattoo for doing that.
>>21516500
>inb4 project Thor
>>21543190
>Project Thor
Is that the one where we use anonymous masks and throw onions at them until they cry?
>>21543206
>Some retarded faggot tries to take away our internet fredums
>A thousand masked guys throw onions at him constantly
This would be kind of cool actually.
>>21543206
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinetic_bombardment
>>21543190
>>21543206
>>21543222
>>21543226
>Satelite approaches to the Equestrian solar system
>Celestia throws a solar flare at it
>It gets too close
>Luna hits it with the moon
Done.
And I haven't even mentioned Discord yet.
>>21543286
I meant that celest would use it, not the griffons
>>21543345
Oooooh.
I can't really think of Equestria being that cruel, quite frankly. They would probably prefer to capture key pieces of the government to generate power vacuums and desestabilize their enemies, killing as few as possible.
I know war is ugly, but still.
>>21519398
pastebin?
>>21543811
nevermind, found it
>>21542774
>You were gone for, what, all of two hours?
>Already this place looks...
>Well, legit.
>The first thing that catches your eye is the giant map of Equestria.
>Seriously, the thing is like three or four times your height.
>Very detailed too.
>The candelabras and candlesticks somepony put in make the room seem warmer somehow.
>You're not sure whether this a good thing or not.
>In fact, this kind of reminds you of that Dragon Age game.
>Heh, Bioware eat your heart out.
>Anyway, ponies are here too.
>Comet Blaze is standing at attention.
>You quickly check his cutie mark.
>Son of a gun, his cutie mark really is that of a pony saluting.
>But Shiny made the right call in making him your runner.
>At least he's obedient.
>That's another idea...
>"At ease, Lieutenant."
>He does so as you look at the other ponies.
>You've met Bluestaff before.
>Granted, he usually talked down to you, but found you fascinating.
>So you had to endure his questions, because fucking with somepony who is an arch-anything is a bad idea.
>At least he's an archmage and not an archlich.
>You think.
>You give the blue unicorn a respectful nod anyway.
>He bows to you as well.
>"Congratulations on your... promotion, Anonymous. I find the thought of you using our mages... exhilirating. And Prince... Captain... Shining Armor. Good... to see you."
>Next up is a pegasus you've met before but only briefly, at the less up-scale social gatherings.
>She's pretty much Rainbow Dash-Lite.
>Except more hardworking, more dependable, and less intense about stuff.
>Honestly it was as if RD and Applejack had a foal together.
>Heh.
>She notices you looking, smiles and waves.
>"Hey - Captain Anonymous. We've never been introduced - I'm The Oncoming Storm."
>wat
"Uh... pleased to meet you."
>You hear Shining Armor chuckling in the background, but choose to ignore it.
>"And Shiny is here! Hey Shiny!"
>She pushes past you and hoofbumps Shiny.
>>21518863
> "Manehattan Project."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRdnmB-MVB4
A PMV to set the mood.
>>21544678
Actually, I'm listening to:
http://listenonrepeat.com/?v=4I-JEU5RUeE#Soviet_March
I have this thing where I need a song on repeat in the background, otherwise I can't write.
>>21530086
Not just any crazy-ass math problem. THE crazy-ass math problem. If you have Lorentz transformations, you have mass/energy equivalence. The reason E=mc^2 is the same reason things get more massive (and time dilates) as you approach the speed of light. Make no mistake, the canonical Equestria really wasn't that far from the bomb.
>>21544599
>"Cut the new foal some slack, Lilac Light - he doesn't have time for your manure."
>She bursts out into laughter, as you shoot Shiny a thankful look.
>You turn to the last pony - the one you've never met.
>A red earth pony with a pair of glasses as his cutie mark.
>Wait.
>OH SON OF A BITCH.
>One lens is circular and red, while the other is rectangular and green.
>Oh no.
>Before you start hyperventilating, the pony moves closer to you, and sniffs you.
>"Oh fucking great, the high and mighty Anonymous has summoned me here. What the fuck do you want, dickhole?"
>This is the griffon expert?
>Their version of Spider Jerusalem - whom might I add is not even a real fucking person - is a scholar?
>Not a gentlecolt, that's for sure.
>Luckily you trained for this.
"What the fuck did you say to me you little bitch? I'll have you know-"
>"Cut the shit, I'm a busy colt. What the fuck do you want? I'm burning minutes and drugs just being in the same fucking room with you."
>You facepalm.
>You didn't even have time to recite the whole copypasta.
>Glancing back at the other ponies, you laugh internally as they stare at the two of you, mouths agape.
>The black Earth pony prods you with a hoof.
>"Well, what is it, fuckstick?"
>Fine.
>Fine, you'll deal with this now.
"Fillies and gentlecolts-"
>"Fucking loser."
>"-lend me your ears. I'll take care of the esteemed - what's your name, dickwad?"
>He glowers at you.
>"For you, my name is Twinkletoes."
"Right, Grand High Lord Dickshit, is going to sit down and patiently tell me all we need to know about griffons. He will then be led back to his cell where trained apes are going to fling shit at him until he learns how to behave in proper company."
>You see his facade crack as he fights off a grin.
>"Only trained ape I see here is you, human. What, did you run out of species to make extinct, so you want to take on the griffons? You're gonna lose, and by association, so are we."
>You sit down opposite of him.
Bump for potential.
>>21540271
>>They don't need nukes because they ARE nukes.
>Only 1 Pegasus has EVER broken the sound barrier
>Only 7 or so ponies have EVER done the tougher magic shit.
No, the number of capable "nukes" is too tiny to do shit to say a human mil, where logistics, tech, tactics, and years of experience win. Almost every mil aircraft can go mach 1 at least and we have thousands of them. We have a gun that 1 man can move, load up and launch a 1 kiloton warhead from 2.5 miles away.
>Telekinesis?
When all those villains attacked, twilight, who's ability is magic, had to go through a gymnastic routine to remove them. Clearly showing there are limitations of magic.
>Bioweapons!
>Thinks poison joke is a bio weapon.
Poison joke is tamer poison ivy. And that's saying something.
THIS is a chemical weapon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88tuv7AN_S8
>When Spike went on a rampage, an alarm sounded and three wonderbolts appeared, indicating than they are on a triggerhair for crap like that. Spike did beat them, but he is a dragon and they couldn't been scouts.
>Showed that their only airborne assault response was weak and incapable of handling a pissed off animal.
This goes against you.
>But the rest of the world would ally with the humans!
No one has said this yet, unless it's a prompt.
I mean it's unfair to compare ponies, a CLEARLY peace loving species, living on a planet that isn't very hostile, under the care of a benevolent goddess. To a inherently violent, predator, living on a planet where anything kills, and the only one watching out for you is yourself. Humans and war go together, ponies aren't even close.
>>21543156
Do you know what FLIR is? Go spend some time on /k/ and just bask in the human capacity for war.
>>21543286
>I don't understand science
>Celestia solar flares, damages the planet in the progress.
>Moon throw, causes floods as tides violently shift.
>>21544893
Math isn't the hard part it's everything else: >>21535689 We had most of the math in the 1800s, but we couldn't have done it then either.
>>21546727
I posted the wrong video, here's the VX vs rabbit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXUeLwAit3Y
>>21546727
HE SAYS WHAT WE'RE ALL THINKING.
>>21546920I apologize, i've been really bummed out since moot left, and working overtime and not being able to writefag about spanking andfucking pones. It hurts more thanyou'd think.
>>21547294
I know how you feel, man. No sweat.
>>21547386
I just wanted to let flow my autism, i find it calms me.Not really, internet argument just gives me a reason to drink, despite having work in the morning.
>>21545503
>Man, these stools are very uncomfortable for your glorious human behind.
"Keep talking. Why?"
>He clears his throat.
>"Well, what we have here is me condensing my supreme knowledge of griffons into a couple of short sentences, so pay attention - I don't want to get the chair leg of truth out."
>He begins to pace.
>"So, griffons. Tough little shits. They're fast, they're strong, and they're mobile. And war is all they know. Generally speaking only three outta ten chicks survive to adulthood, because they kill off their weak ones. They are constantly on the move and when they aren't harassing or invading Equestria, they're either infighting or serving as mercs over in Assfuckingstan. They pride themselves on their endurance, aerial maneuvrability, and absolute brutality and general dickishness."
>Wow.
>So basically Mongols.
>Flying Mongols.
"Fu- ugh. Dang. Okay. Three questions - who is their leader, what is their attitude towards magic, and how did Equestria win the last time?"
>He gives a snort.
>"What do they teach you in school nowadays? I'll answer them in whatever order I fucking want. So. Magic is shit. They can cloudwalk like pegasi, but they lack weather control-"
>Lilac Light gives a whoop.
>"-SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CELESTIA-DAMNED WHORSE I AM TALKING AND YOU ARE LISTENING."
>He stomps his hoof angrily.
>"Anyway. They lack natural weather control, but they have Weather Wyrd Witches. All-female group of spellcasters who specialize in weather control. Storms, hurricanes, typhoons, that sort of thing. Male griffons with a talent for magic are killed in a messy fashion. Let's see... that's magic, fuck yeah. Equestria. Equestria had a bunch of conflicts with the griffons. We're gonna look at the last two. The most recent one, we did a smart thing. Princess Suh-lestia shoved a whole bunch of bits, gems, and priceless works of art at the dragons. The dragons came in and obliterated the griffon army."
>Note to self, get expert on dragons and a diplomat.
>>21547653
>"The other time, roughly 650 ago, we didn't win. We pretty much paid them off and they left. The fact that the Princess and the freak aren't doing that means that Equestria's coffers are empty - otherwise we wouldn't have this trained fuckstick leading our glorious charge."
>He gives you another mean smirk.
>You return it.
>"Now, leader. They are actually lead by the Thegn. The title roughly translates to "warleader who serves." See, they believe that this Thegn is actually sacrificing personal glory and valor by commanding his troops and as such, he - and it's always a he - gets glory for overall victories. So, in fact, one of their warriors who has a lot of kills is going to be considered more "worthy" by the griffons. The Thegn usually has a retinue of specially trained griffons who specialize in infiltration, sabotage, and assassinations. They particularly like going against the "Thegns" of the peoples they're warring with. So, Anonymous, you'd better watch out - the Sky Spears are aimed at your heart."
>He looks at the gathered assembly - herd - of ponies.
>"Any questions?"
>Shiny thinks about it a moment.
>"Yeah. Who's the current Thegn?"
>"One Ubijtsa the Cruel."
>Greaaaaaat.
"Okay, fine. Last question from me and you can go back to your skulking - if I wanted to provoke them - like really get them to come after me, my army, my woma-er, mare, and my foals - what would I say?"
>He peers at you suspiciously and then breaks into a smile.
>"I like the way you think. Like a real bastard. Hell, like a griffon. The three things in order of importance - imply that their abilities do not match yours, showing weakness, and insulting their way of life."
>Oh.
>Oh YES.
>You are in the zone.
>...as it were.
"Well, Twinkletoes, this has been enlightening. There may be a medal in it for you at the end of all of this. We'll whistle you up when we need you."
>He barks a laugh.
>"See you later, human. Piss on their corpses when you're done."
>>21546906
Why develop shit like sarin and VX for poneland? Even the Nazis didn't use sarin, and they invented it.
Seems more practical to develop enhancements to conventional armaments that can be done quickly enough to deploy nearly immediately.
>>21520122
I'm still waiting for that glorious writefag to return
>>21516500
We're gonna need shovels.
>>21547769
>With that, he trots out of the room, as the rest of the ponies follow him with their eyes.
"Well, that was enlightening. And I know how we're going to win. I just need to iron out some details. Please, everpony - have a seat."
>Archmage Bluestaff levitates the chairs to the table.
"Our recent visitor didn't take up too much time. Now then, I'm not gonna talk strategy yet. I'm just gonna assess our strengths."
>You turn to Lilac Light and fix her with a stare through your mask.
"Now, Lilac Light - how high can pegasi fly?"
>She thinks about this for a moment.
"Uhh. Well, generally speaking a mile or two at most. The higher you get the colder it gets and the air gets hard to breathe."
>You steeple your hands.
"Not good enough, I'm afraid. The griffons have better endurance apparently. What's the historical record, and who is the highest altitude flyer that we have?"
>"Easy answer. World record is Stratos Fear. Granted, he lost consciousness when he was coming down - but he recovered mid-descent and landed. His record was shy of six miles. Five-point-eight or something like that."
>She taps her hoof on the table.
>"The current record holder is contested. Surprise is the highest flyer in the Wonderbolts, however, there's an up-and-coming pony. Name's Rainbow Dash. Supposedly she broke Surprise's personal record of four-point-two miles."
>She grins sheepishly.
"Damn. And with proper training, how many pegasi can match that?"
>"The Wonderbolts can. Rainbow Dash is a talent, but these guys are professionals. Plus, they might be more up your alley - they were founded by ex-military, way back when."
>You nod.
"Prince-Captain Shining Armor, do you have anything to add?"
>He shakes his head.
>"Nope. You're keeping me in the dark as much as the next pony."
"Yes, for good reasons. For now."
>>21548022
>You look at Bluestaff.
"Archmage, now for you - it looks like Equestria has the griffons beaten in the magical aspect. This is good. However, I need to know what exactly the mages can bring to the table?"
>He gives a polite chuckle.
>"Why, Mister Anonymous. What don't we? We are truly craftsponies. Any unicorn is a master of his or her craft. And the Mages guild is for those unicorns who go beyond the call of their cutie mark, who wish to expand the study, lore, and science-"
"Archmage please. With the utmost respect, you're not selling us something. What you're saying is that you have at your disposal roughly 200 Princess Twilight Sparkles."
>Almost wistfully, he shakes his head.
>"Alas, if only. No, Princess Twilight Sparkle is one of a kind."
>He pauses.
>"Probably why she became a Princess."
>"Actually, Archmage, it's because she learned the power of friendship. Not due to her magical talent. Otherwise, Star Swirl would've finished his own dang book."
>D'aww.
>Shiny sticking up for his lil' sis.
>Even though she probably outclasses him now.
>Actually Shiny brings up a good point.
>You wonder if it's possible to weaponize the power of friendship, considering the Elements of Harmony have been returned.
"Gentlecolts, please. This is a chamber of war, so please, no fighting."
>The two of them settle down.
"Now, I'm going to throw a whole bunch of ideas at you. Most of them are going to be stupid, because I do not understand magic, considering I'm a walking nullifier. So, please be patient with me."
>Bluestaff reaches out a hoof and pats you on the hand.
>"That's fine, Captain. Please go on."
"So. First question - can you enchant a bunch of pegasi for greater physical capabilities?"
>He thinks about it for a moment.
"Yes. There would be some logistical difficulties, but yes."
>You nod.
"Okay. Spells that can vaporize cities?"
>His eyes widen.
"N-no, Captain Anonymous. We don't really study combat spells. And one on -that- scale? Impossible."
>Damn.
>>21548304
"Okay. This is a two-fer. Finding certain minerals and blocking out some forms of energy, while letting others pass?
>"Of course."
>OH YES.
>You grin maniacally.
"Exceeeellent. Next question - bring the dead back to-"
>"NOPE."
"-not true resurrection-"
>"NUH-UH."
>That was Shiny.
"-more like a mindless drone capable only of-"
>"Oh for the Diarch's sake Captain, take a hint."
"Can't, or won't?"
>"NO!"
"...fine..."
>You drum your fingers on the table in agitation.
"Fine. Okay. Taking the traits of one animal and combining it with another animal?"
>Bluestaff coughs, Lilac Light looks a bit grossed out, and Shiny looks a bit confused.
>"Can we? Yes. Will we? Most likely not."
"You misunderstand me. We're at war. I'm not saying make airborne squid who breathe fire. This goes back to the question about pegasi."
>You stand up and look at the war table.
"Humans are -very- enduring. My ancestors would hunt - yes, I apologize for the gory details - by basically outlasting our prey. They would run and we'd follow. For days. Eventually they'd tire out. And we wouldn't."
>There it is again.
>The slight trembling of the flanks.
>Fear.
>You wish you were better at reading pony moods.
>Or just a better sense of scent.
>You sit back down.
>Remarkably, that seemed to have done the trick.
"So, final battery of questions - communication over vast distances, seeing things at a location far away, and teleportation?"
>Bluestaff seems shaken out of his horseshoes, but he still answers.
>"Ah. Yes, yes, no, with caveats. We can communicate over distances, but it requires two ponies with either the same cutie mark or a very similar one, who both happen to be unicorns-"
>He catches himself.
>"-or ponies that have long-distance communication as their special talent, of course. Now, seeing things far away - yes. But we need magical paraphernalia. Crystal balls, enchanted pools, magic mirrors - that sort of thing."
"And teleportation?"
>>21548545
>"Only three ponies that are currently alive that are capable of it. Two of them are the Royal Sisters. Princess Twilight Sparkle learned to teleport before she ascended to Princesshood. We're currently trying to replicate it. So no."
>You take some time to process all this.
>Okay, so you might have long-range communication and views of the battlefield.
>Too bad no rapid troop deployment.
>But it looks like the Manehattan and Detrick projects are going to be a reality.
>Good.
"Okay, fillies and gentlecolts. I thank you for your time. The first meeting of the War Council is over. Equestria thanks you."
>You stand up, and the ponies follow suit.
>Shiny nods at you.
>Comet Blaze stand at attention, hoofing a salute.
>Lilac Light snaps one off as well, trots over to the window, and flies out.
>Bluestaff nods at you.
>"Captain Anonymous, I urge you - do not underestimate your foe. Pony lives are at stake. Don't expect all your plans to fall into place."
>You smile at him.
"Archmage, we had a lot of military leaders back home. We also had people who wrote about them. One of them particularly said something to the tune of "Wheels within wheels." I assure you, the griffons won't know what hit them."
>You sort that sentence out mentally.
"Uh, actually, no. I'll make sure they'll know it was me. On that note - Archmage, how good are you at defensive magics and wards?"
>He seems a bit taken aback.
>"Well, before I became Archmage, I was the Head Abjurer at Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Why?"
>You lean over to him and whisper something into his ear.
>His eyes widen and he lets out a laugh.
>"Easier done than said."
>His horn glows with an azure color, and you feel your mask eneveloped by his magic, which fades in seconds.
"It is done."
>With that he takes another bow and leaves.
>You sit back down.
"I gotta admit Shiny, I don't know how you deal with ponies. I'm sweating."
>He wrinkles his muzzle.
>"Yeah bruh - you are."
>>21548757
>You sputter momentarily.
>Shining Armor takes this opportunity to dismiss Comet Blaze.
"Wait just a moment, Lieutenant!"
>He stops, does a one-eighty, and faces you?
>"SAH Captain SAH!"
"At ease, but please wait a moment."
>You walk over to a restocked cabinet and obtain writing supplies.
>Scribbling some stuff down, you look for something that could serve as your signet ring.
>Then it hits you.
>Something nopony else has.
>You finish writing your letter, drip as much wax on it as you can, and press down with your bare hand.
>It burns a little, but it's a good pain.
>You hand it to him, who takes it, and shoves it in the crook of his wing.
"Please deliver that to the Royal Sisters."
>His eyes widen.
>"Sir? Er, Captain I mean. I've never - I-"
>Shiny puts a hoof around him.
>"Ease up El-Tee. Just go over to the seneschal, tell him that you're on behalf of Prince Captain Shining Armor and Captain Shining Armor. He'll do the rest."
>"SAH, understood, SAH! Letter to Ponyville has been sent, SAH!"
"Excellent! Now, DIS-MISSED!"
>He nods, fires off another salute and runs off.
>Shiny and you watch him leave, hoofbeats growing fainter and fainter.
>Shining Armor sits down opposite of you.
>"So. Want to tell me what your plan is?"
>Instead of answering him, you start writing another letter.
"Well... kinda. First things first - I'm gonna make you not a target."
>He stomps his hoof angrily.
>"Why, Anon?! I'm a grown stallion, I can take care of myself. Plus I'm a specialist in defensive magic - I could've cast a better ward than Bluestaff!"
>You nod.
"I know that. You know that. Bluestaff knows that. ALL the Princesses know that. As do most of the staff, servants, courtiers, soldiers, and so on and so forth."
>Dramatic paaaaaaaaaaaaause.
"And so do the griffons."
>His face would grow longer if it was possible.
>"I see."
>You sign your name with a flourish, and do the same thing - dribble wax and handprint.
>Different hand this time.
>>21548951
>"But what they don't know, is you, Anon. So, you're gonna dangle yourself as bait. With insults. That's why you asked Bluestaff about it. Nice!"
>You nod.
"Yes. The next time I'm gonna use this trick, is when I attempt to gather their army in one place."
>"And what then?"
>You grin.
"Boom."
>"Boom?"
"Boom. I want you in my room."
>He takes a step back.
>"Uh, Anon, I'm a marrie-"
>You groan.
"Of all the things you have that are similar to my world?! And you don't have the Vengaboys. Er. Vengafoals."
>He shakes his head slowly.
>You bet you can read his mind.
>Oh no, I am in a room alone with somepony crazy.
>Heh.
>Like a fox.
"ANYWAY! Point is, I wasn't hitting on you, bruh. I was making a reference."
>"Uh-huuuh. Okay. You're a very strange individual Anon."
>You snort quietly.
"Okay. I'm off to the aviary. We'll reconvene at 0900?"
>He nods and smiles.
>"I'll tell Cadance you said "Hi," Anon."
"Uhhhh, right."
>You fish in your pocket for spaghetti, but surprinsgly don't find any.
"Actually. Yes, tell Princess Cadance that she is welcome to come along with the Royal Sisters - and could you send a letter to Twilight? Actually, wait up."
>You scribble a letter.
>There.
>Not too awkward.
"And I guess the rest of the Elements."
>You add a post-scriptum.
"I hope the Princesses are okay with me inviting ponies over."
>He chuckles and pats you on the shoulder.
>His hoof is surprisingly soft.
>"Relax Anon. You can. And by the way, I think you're doing a good job."
>You exhale loudly.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence. So, you'll send the letter?"
>"Yeah."
>You feel your heart flutter a bit.
"Cool. See you tomorrow."
>"No sweat. See you later."
>He starts walking out.
>"You gonna go back to your quarters?"
>You shake your head.
"Nah. I'm gonna make some sense of these maps. Don't worry, I'll get plenty of sleep, MOM."
>He barks a laugh and leaves.
>>21548962
>You stand up, pop your back, and walk over to the couch, and throw yourself on it.
>Okay.
>This is working well.
>You've just been made responsible for the lives of thousands upon thousands of ponies living in Equestria.
>Including those of the Princesses.
>And the Elements of Harmony.
>And Twilight Sparkle.
>And you're fighting basically the Mongols.
>Who were, for the most part, undefeated.
>You take a deep breath.
>Huh...
>You take another deep breath.
>Why are you so short of breath.
>Oh.
>Oh god.
>You take another breath.
>Fuck it's not enough!
>You start to pull at your mask.
>Why is it so hard to pull off!
>You gasp and gasp but can't seem to get enough oxygen.
>WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING THIS MASK?!
>FUCK.
>You fall off the couch.
>The lights seem to get a bit brighter then they start fading away.
>Fuckfuckfuckfu-
-END PART II-
http://pastebin.com/eFDMSUr9
>>21547786
>Nazis
Give them the B- Adolf Hitler
Fun fact: Nazis originally just shot the Jews and put them into mass graves, but this caused the people doing it to kill them selves or go insane. So that's why the gas chambers where built, to lessen the psychological effect on their own soldiers and officers.
>Chemical weapons.
The thing is, chemical weapons are ineffective for war, at least to humans. A rain suit a mask and some duct tape and you're immune to chem weapons, they are only useful for killing indiscriminately, that's why Saddam and Assad used it. Also chem weapons are area denial weapons, you may keep an enemy from moving, but you can't move either. Also wind effects chem flow. The only time a chem weapon can be useful is if you mix it into water supply or something, but even then it means you cant use that supply either and it's gonna flow.
TL;DR unless you wanna kill civvies, more than troops. Or have extreme targeting abilities, chemical weapons are more strategic than tactical.
>>21548986
>Also wind effects chem flow.
This and other things. They're vastly susceptible to contingency and random effects. They'd be good for mass casualties in enclosed places like subways (Google Aum Shinrikyo if you don't know what I mean).
They're basically weapons for terrorists, who want chaos. Militaries usually have to deal with enough chaos as it is. They want things they can control.
That and the fact they're evil as fuck and that's why even people like Nazis never used the worst kinds of chemical weapons.
>>21548975
2dramatic4me
>>21549061
>Aum Shinrikyo
That further showed how ineffective chemical weapons are. In the PERFECT condition for a chemical attack, granted carried out by a bunch of idiot lunatics, it only killed 7.
Hitler didn't like the idea of using chemical weapons at all, he was the survivor of a chemical attack in ww1.
That said, in EQ chemical weapons might just be really great. Think about it, ponies don't wear clothing, so they are easy targets for VX entering the skin and in to blood. They have no idea that the chemicals are there until it's too late, it would be scary as fuck to see their people die such a horrible death, and it would be cheap. Also, VX on crops, and if they start eating grass and such, VX all food sources.
Again this would mean your army can't move around without equipment, but maybe the massive psychological effect on a peaceful species would be enough to cause a surrender.
Hmm...
>>21549149
>In the PERFECT condition for a chemical attack, granted carried out by a bunch of idiot lunatics, it only killed 7.
It wasn't perfect gas. They'd destroyed the previous high purity product in a panic over nearly getting caught, and the batch they actually used was a rush job.
The nearly 1,000 casualties that did occur would have been fatalities if they had used sarin of purity like that they had previously manufactured.
Anyway, terror doesn't rely on body count but on spreading fear, but body count helps.
>>21549207
>Bad gas
I didn't know that.
But still, a military wouldn't find it that useful.
>>21549232
Agreed. Bio is pretty similar. Rarely useful and can backfire. Most of the "successful" uses were things like catapulting in plague infected corpses, usually because your own troops were already dying like flies from it.
(Or shit like smallpox where you had guys who had already had it so it hurt the other side more than you. Hi Injuns!)
>>21548975
Fuck, we fell asleep.
ah ah ah staying alive
>>21549277
>Smallpox
Well that was unintentional, the people coming over from Europe just happened to be carrying it, but immune or resistant. Spreading it to the Indians wasn't hard.
On the subject of human X pone war, why would we even do that?
>>21516500
Of course I do, your highness...
Hm. regarding the situation here's some advices:
The Griffon Imperium has grown and expanded and created alliances at a point this little nation on its fucking island has dominated the seas and most of the north. We must remain certain that the conflict does not comes to the Equestrian mainland for the following reasons :
- Our military effectives are small
- Our equipments are outdated, fighters, tanks, missiles would make it to defend a country that large.
- Even the Licornia has a better defense and could kick our arse if they wanted.
- Our generals still think they will win a battle like they did centuries ago.
- We don't really have any alliance, in fact we have more enemies than allies.
- Ponyland was the first to surrender, welcome the Griffons and Germaneigh is the only country in the region to stand.
in fact we are not getting invaded because so far, Griffons like our country as is, but if there's someone to blame, it remains the Crystal Empire. They started this shit and since we are their allies, we are de facto involved in this conflict.
>>21549840
to unite humanity, we demonize them, make them a danger to humanities existence, an escape goat if you will to unite humanity against this clear and present threat to our very existence and finally stand all behind one flag as one group of people instead of the 190~, nations the world holds now, for as long as we can before moving onto the next one
>>21549918
humanity's*
>>21549918
then again pones are not for war, they are for cute, and cuddles, are they not?
>>21519561
Well I have a plan that will make you even harder. still in my arc with OP's story.
let's admit it we won't make it in a conflict with the griffons, now they are established worldwide.
Look at the situation: many of these countries surrendered or decided to ally with the Griffon Kingdom somehow. they were shit anyways but now they are invading us, hopefully there's the Everfree forest right there so they won't pass.
Orange - the Griffon Imperium
Purple - us, our alliees
Red- Commies.
Gray - they don't give a fuck but don't want to get invaded.
Green - neutral or out of this shit.
The commies so far are not involved in any conflict with the Griffon Kingdom.
They hate us even more than the Griffons, so they are not engaging in the war.
The Griffon will be defeated if they enter in conflict with Industria, or any of the red block country, and they make sure it is not happening.
WHY, Celestia, haven't we performed a higly secret, horrible and bloody false flag attack yet against Industria or one of these countries, to ensure they nuke the shit out of the Griffons? Let's focus on doing this, like if the Griffons will launch a surprise attack against the reds, and the Reds will get rid of them for us, Celestia will just have to be like "Ha we told you!"
If we get caught, if we fuck up, these commies will ally against us with the Griffons and we will be even more fucked.
It needs of course to be horrible and credible enough. What should it be like? nukes?
>>21549918
See,
Jews can be scapegoated, because they have historical properties i will not get into.
Religion can be scapegoated, because again properties.
The rich can be scapegoated, also because history.
But how do you scapegoat, nice fluffy little ponies, who have problems hurting a fly? Like literally, if those parasprites met humans, raid would become a military contractor. I bet if dragons existed in our world, humans would find a way to hunt them. Like we hunted mammoths scaring them into a swamp or trap that caused them to be stuck, then just stuck spears into it over and over.
>Thread
I've been working on a greentext of similar properties, but anon is an average soldier, who gets moved around.
>>21548975
>Note to self: put fucking air-holes in mask if not dead.
>>21516500
Thank Horse Jesus I brought a copy of The Art of War with me when I came through your little portal.
Sure, I can advise General Prince Shining Armor. But I want a dress uniform. A nice one.
"Uhm...Sure, your Highnesses. Can I ask what your stance on Warcrimes are?"
> I don't understand the question, Anon...
"....and how badly do you want to win?"
> It is imperative, Anon!
"...Okay. Can I get something in writing to make sure you don't murder me or imprison me forever first?"
And that's how Anon introduced the Ponies to the concept of the Nuremberg Laws!
>>21516500
Yeah sure, I'll accept.
War. HUH! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! SAY IT AGAIN! War. HUH! What is it good for?
>>21546796
I think than there is something you are forgeting. That everyone who touches this theme forgets.
We took so much time to reach nuclear development because we are omnivores, and as such our history is war riden. There isn't a single century on our five thousand years or so of history where we haven't started some war or another.
Ponies are herbivores, and their society is based on love and comprehension. Their technology will easily advance ten times as fast as ours because they have had like three wars total. I mean, Sombra, the "fight against the shadows" they reference in a Celestia comic, the three tribes war and that's it. They don't bitch about muh sins, they get shit done.
>>21551082
Oh, and even Sombra is a moot point so that's probably two wars.
>>21516517
Nope, but I am.
TIME TO BUILD A STEN
This story is sex.
Bahmp
Bumperoonie
>>21551082
uh you got it all wrong mate since the ponies are a "peace loving kind" as you say then that means their tecnology will advance AT LEAST 10 times slower than ours since the level of technology we got in this age is all thanks to war never mind the fact that we have hands and they have hooves
I would love to fught for equestria
>>21551082
>Ponies are peaceful guiez
>They have no war so thier technology will get 10X better 10X faster
Ever hear about necessity being the mother of invention?
>do you even america rock?
>>21552459
School House Rock, while doing good with science and math, has some really iffy parts to it. To be specific, "No More Kings" and "Elbow Room" paint very biased views of history and historical figures by omitting specific info.My favorite is "Electricity".
>>21516500
>tfw spent years studying the cold war and military tactics.
I'm so fucking ready
>>21552613
>ttfw spend decades playing 4chan risk
>tfw im too danm ready.
>>21551082
This is either b8 or you're a complete retard. Necessity is the mother of invention, if you don't have a need, you won't invent shit. It's simple logic.
A peaceful and very pampered species is not going to invent shit, a simple thing like a shaduf which is just a bucket on the end of a lever to help pour water on plants, won't exist if the land is fertile and doesn't need to be watered.
And war is just the ultimate driver of mankind.
>>21552681
>>21552613
>TFW have access to /k/
I am beyond ready.
>>21519406
Nukes are stupid easy to make if you have enriched uranium.
>>21552831
You're retarded,
>>21552831
its just 2 pieces of U fuzed together through kinetic. and then shit goes down right?
>>21548304
>"This is a chamber of war, so please, no fighting"
>Not using the "No fighting in the war room!" quote
>>21552712
>tfw i have acccess to /mlp/ archives
the gryphons should just pray...
>>21552947
this guy gets it.
>>21552841
If you have a few kilograms of U235, you can make a basic dirty bomb with a shotgun and a basic trigger mechanism.
>>21552851
Basically. You fire a slug of U235 at a larger chunk and reach critical mass.
Now, to do a proper, controlled chain reaction you gotta keep a lot of variables in check. But if you want a big explosion that gets radiation all over the place you basically just slam 2 rocks together super fast.
>>21552990
>Basically. You fire a slug of U235 at a larger chunk and reach critical mass.
>Now, to do a proper, controlled chain reaction you gotta keep a lot of variables in check. But if you want a big explosion that gets radiation all over the place you basically just slam 2 rocks together super fast.
>If you have a few kilograms of U235, you can make a basic dirty bomb with a shotgun and a basic trigger mechanism.
This is not in anyway effective enough to be considered a nuke, it is too small in scale, too simple in design and suicide. Sure you can wiki gun type nuclear devices and the CONCEPT is simple. But putting it into practice is very difficult to do, and also a little something known as classified, meaning we can't exactly pull up every spec of little boy.
>>21543286
>summon the Q-tinum
>discord anal raped
>ponies sentenced to 6 guadrillion years of human service
It isn't that difficult to just throw shit out there, and I haven't even brought in Goku or Doctor Manhattan yet.
>>21552690
Uh
You know
Technology is not all about killing stuff.
Ponies can teleport. Do you know how complex teleportation is? The only characters we see doing that are either terribly old superbeings or Twilight, who spent all her life studying magic theory.
We would be above them in weapons, but not much else. Rainbow broke her wing, and they repaired broken bone in like a week in a small city hospital. Their specialisation is in support and defense, but even on that they are way, way ahead of us.
Take hidrogen for example. On history, motors using as fuel where invented, what, five times? before the general population knew about them, because the inventors kept dying mysteriously thanks to oil companies. Their general society is much more efficient than ours.
I mean, we spent like two thousand years in basically the same technological level thanks to the church.
>Pampered
>Lives in a planet with dragons that can kill an entire country by sleeping near it.
Yeah.
>And war is just the ultimate driver of mankind.
Just because we are territorial fucks.
>>21552990
exactly, in wwiis case it was reached by being dropped out of a fuckin airplane
>>21552947
Yes, that was my bad. It's been over 5 years since I saw the movie, so I forgot the specific quote.
>>21550760
Kek
Just as a heads up, I will continue the story tomorrow.
>>21554190
Cheers anon. I love this story,
Bamp
>>21553040
We can't pull up specs of little boy but achieving partial nuclear fission is trivial. The average college physics student could assemble one given the right materials.
It is effective enough to be considered a nuke. If nuclear fission occurs, it's a nuke. Plain and simple.
Bump for Silver
Pity bump
Bump for tonight
>>21516500
We got this, just write the check to... OUTER HEAVEN!
Bumpy ride
Morning bump
>>21552960
Kek
>>21562594
Big Boss in Equestria when?
>>21547653
>>Man, these stools are very uncomfortable for your glorious human behind.
PHRASING!
Wumpbump
>>21553173
>Teleportation.
That's not an invention more like learning a law of the universe, there doesn't seem to be a machine that can do it, just "special" people.
>Broken wing
That ability goes to the organism it'self, not the process to repair. Even with the most advanced medicine some animals just CANT fix a broken bone, while humans it takes about 3 months of just not moving too much.
>hidrogen
Hydrogen* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_hydrogen_technologies
Even with modern tech, hydrogen power has the problem of needing more power to separate H2 and 0 than energy given back by burning them. It's simple physics, more energy to take apart a stable compound that put it back together. Nothing to do with oil companies.
>>Lives in a planet with dragons that can kill an entire country by sleeping near it.
And the fact that it took a group of young women and no serious response clearly showed it wasn't that big of a risk.
>two thousand years in basically the same technological level thanks to the church.
That's false, there's a pasta explaining how no historian refers to the dark ages as the dark ages.
Human growth is exponential, it started out slow, and gets faster with time. We went to the moon in 1 generation of inventing powered flight.
ponies are clearly still living in early 1800s, so their tech isn't anywhere near our level, its simply because they have no reason to get better.
Why would you want to invent an engine without the need to? Even if you did, why would someone invest in it , when it's not really needed? We invented the engine and saw no need in it, until someone figured out you can power machinery with it, and then the industrial revolution happened, mostly because of imperialism and a need to built weapons faster.
This has nothing to do with the inventor dieing, it's just was harder to get information around, and since ponies are still using letter and books, they still have the same problem we did.
>>21553245
No, the little boy had a conventional explosive firing a pill of 235 into a ring of 235, the least efficient method.
The airplane was just a delivery method.
You have to be over 18 to be here.
>>21557856
>The average college physics student could assemble one given the right materials
Then explain to me why 1: a student has not done it yet 2: why countries have multi-billion dollar programs to figure this shit out.
Unless by >Proper materials
You mean they are given everything, and just have to assemble it, Ikea style. Which is stupid, since it's those components that take years to figure out.
>It is effective enough to be considered a nuke. If nuclear fission occurs, it's a nuke. Plain and simple.
Natural fission happens all the time, doesn't mean it's a nuke. A nuke is weaponised and effective enough to be used as a weapon. Anything you make with a 235 slug is not going to be effective enough to be a nuke.
I'm learning so much about nuclear weapons in this thread.
>>21566067
>You will never be blinded by the light next to your wiafu.
>You two will never watch the mushroom cloud form as your eyes acclimate to the conditions.
>You will never look at each other, shaded by the bright light.
>You will never passionately kiss in the warm glow of radiation.
>Your enemies will never face the horror of human destruction, as the two of you make love on a balcony while the nuclear blast cools down, falling asleep in the dark shadow of radio active ash.
It hurts anon.
>>21565982
>You mean they are given everything, and just have to assemble it, Ikea style. Which is stupid, since it's those components that take years to figure out.
This. The primary impediment to building a crude, Little Boy type device is actually getting a critical mass (you need more than a critical mass actually because the method is so inefficient).
This involves first extracting uranium from ore. The whole process, from mining uranium to extracting the metal, is highly dangerous and exposes everyone involved to hazards.
But that's probably within 19th century technology.
The tough part is extracting a specific isotope, U-235, when it is infinitesimally different in weight to the rest of it (mostly U-238) and comprises only .7% of it.
That's done by converting the uranium to uranium hexafluoride gas, itself highly corrosive and toxic, and spinning it in giant, incredibly sensitive centrifuges to get out the very, very slightly lighter U-235.
Then it's converted back to pure U-235. Only then do you have what you actually need. The difficulty of that step is why it's questionable whether North Korea, for instance, actually has effective nukes.
And it's why even a crash program to develop them would be years from success in Equestria, at least using technological means.
Considering that's the only step really stopping them, though, if they could magically extract U-235 from U-238, they probably have the technology to do the rest.
I don't think they would, though.
Bump pls i like
>>21566261
>This
Also lets not forget the industry necessary to do this, and the electronic/ mechanical components to keep the device safe and to activate it properly.
>>21547786
Because Anon is true Predator.
>>21548975
MOAR! I WANT MOAR! EPIC MOAR!
Bump territory
>>21566261
I'd think there would be no real way of them figuring out how to do this in the first place without years of research.
>>21516500
Tactical Nuke those n00bs.
"Anon, if I take the mask off, will you die?"
>>21516500
b-u-m-p
>>21518235
Fuck you, Ramsey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTQIogLBFBs
Consider this war won.
>>21571077
If they had Raiden on their side no one would even try to fuck with them in the first place.
>>21547820
>That story about a guardsman conquering equestria with a trench
>>21572858
link?
>>21548975
>"General, they've breached the outer perimeter! Orders?!"
>Shit fuck shit fuck shit.
>How succinct.
>Okay, you can still salvage this.
>You look at Comet Blaze.
"Have the pegasi fall back! Tell Bluestaff to have his ponies provide some cover."
>"Anon?"
>You whirl around to face Twilight - who looks very concerned.
>"Anon, we're losing."
>You grit your teeth.
>Your mask was torn to shred days ago.
>Fucking griffon assassins.
"No."
>"We're not? They're past the Sky Trenches."
>She moves up closer to you and pokes you with her hoof - hard.
>"Anon, my brother is out there! If he doesn't make it back alive..."
>Her wings go limp and she leans against you.
>"Please, Anon. Just make sure he's fine."
>fuckfuckfuckfuck
"Okay, correction. Pull back the Royal Guard back to the palace - we need to protect the Princesses."
>And the ragtag remains of your army.
"Get Commander Shining Armor in here."
>You look at the ponies inside the Command and Control room.
>You lock eyes with 8 pairs of coldy seething eyes.
>And a pair of worried and concerned ones.
>You look at Twilight and Celestia.
"Your majesties, the situation is not un-salvageable-"
>"You said that when they took Baltimare."
>"And Ponyville."
>"And Cloudsdale."
>With a gesture of her wing Princess Celestia silences the Bearers of Harmony.
>"General Anonymous. You will reveal your plans to us immediately. You have squandered the trust we have placed in you."
>You slam your fist down on the table.
"Your majesty I did my-"
>"Which wasn't good enough. Had you been open with us from the start, maybe we would've told you why your strategies did not work."
>She gestures with a hoof towards the window.
>"And now my little ponies are being killed and eaten."
"Fine. Okay. It's still salvageable. We had a strategist back on Earth, uhhhh, Kutuzov. When his country was invaded, he let the enemy take the capital, but moved his army. He then torched it. The army was demoralized and took a lot of casualties."
>>21573856
Well, that escalated quickly.
>>21573856
>>"And now my little ponies are being killed and eaten."
That's a bit fucking extreme.
>>21573856
Never before has my interest in a story dropped so quickly.
>>21573856
>You take a deep breath.
"And then he kept pulling them in deeper and deeper, killing the other guy by letting him lose his troops by attrition."
>You turn your attention to Comet Blaze, who just returned.
>The poor stallion is covered in blood.
>Luckily, Shiny-
>Luckily, Shining Armor is there with her.
>He gives you a long hard stare.
>You choose to ignore it.
>You've said all you could do one another.
"Okay, Comet. One last thing. Pull ALL our forces back to the castle."
>Your hear Shining Armor growl a bit.
"Try to stress that this isn't a retreat, but tactical repositioning."
>He fires off a salute and jolts out.
"Now, as I was saying - your majesties, how many ponies can you evacuate at once?"
>celestia exchanges a glance with Twilight.
>"Not many, we're afraid. If we stretch ourselves, no more than three."
>"And I've never done more than a pony and a baby dragon."
>You rub your eyes.
>Fine.
>Okay, plan B.
>Well, technically not plan B - more like plan W, but y'know.
>Who's counting?
>Other than the dead.
"Fine. Okay. You'll have to do decoys. Commander Shining Armor, once the decoys of the Princesses are released, you'll have to concentrate your forces and punch your way out.
>He nods.
>"Since we're mixed units, we'll have to hoof it."
>He goes over to his personal aide and starts giving out orders, as more troop leaders start coming in.
>You go up to Twilight.
"I need you to 'port me over to Project Manehattan. I'll tell them to evacuate with the rest of you."
>She kicks her hoof nervously.
>"Fine. What is your plan?"
>Her horn begins to glow.
"You escape. I stay behind."
>In a flash of light, you appear deep in the Crystal Caves beneath Canterlot.
>Nuclear Winter jumps away from you.
>You notice his assistants are scurrying around the lab, gathering papers and reports.
"Winter, you're outta here. Princess Twilight Sparkle will teleport you back to the Control Room. There you will report to Commander Shining Armor. He'll tell you where to go."
>>21573856
What happened?
>>21518235
Hodor hodor hodor!
