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Slave Pony Auction
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You are currently reading a thread in /mlp/ - My Little Pony

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>So what is this thread about?
Pretty much this thread is about anon owning a pony as a slave. He can do whatever he wishes, be it nice and not abusing or the complete opposite.

It is recommended that each story has to start off with anon purchasing said pony.
Also, if you're going to be writing some green, please name yourself. It will be easier to keep track of your story.

Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/u/SlavePonyAuction

Full Author List: http://pastebin.com/cqLCYveb

Popular Stories:

Buying a Bookhorse (Twilight) by Lurkernon -- WIP
http://pastebin.com/zvvD2hcE

Regards, anon (Vinyl) by IHLAOY -- COMPLETE
http://pastebin.com/AySUp8Ma

The Slave Auction (Applejack) by Jessi Jinx -- WIP
http://pastebin.com/gFYqU1d5

Broken Princess (Luna) by Jingle Jangle -- WIP
http://pastebin.com/NLP6dcMr

California Express (Twilight) by Unknown -- WIP
http://pastebin.com/FuFTWFVt

A deal is a deal (Applebloom) by Unknown -- WIP
http://pastebin.com/MEbfXf79

Previous thread: >>25506870
>>
Oh boy we not a general now
>>
>>25555261

(Continuing from pastebin)

> Twilight is still there come morning.
> Though she'd ceased waking you up every morning, she still often rose before you to dwell in her pit of mental misery.
> This day, however, she remained fast asleep - the blankets rising and falling softly as she breathed softly.
> Observing her, you wonder if this was the most peacefully she'd slept in a very long time.
> If not for the interruption in her sleep the previous night, you'd certainly think so.
> A few strands of mane had fallen over her face, which you softy brush away.
> Mumbling something in her sleep, Twilight shifts and settles - but doesn't wake yet.
> Poor thing was probably exhausted; who knew how long she'd been up and curled on the top of the bed.
> Slipping from beneath the covers, you manage to leave the room with a minimum of squealing from the crappy floorboards.
> Twilight doesn't emerge for nearly twenty minutes more, rubbing one eye to clear the last bleary remnants of sleep from it.
> Despite the sounds of breakfast preparation clearly being audible from the kitchen, she still freezes when your eyes meet.
> She speaks first.
> "So - um - about last night, and all that..."
> Holding a single finger up, you silence her so you can speak.
"Not here. At the table. We've got a lot to think about."
> Nodding briefly, Twilight allows you to finish up the two plates and bring them to the table.
> Any remnants of the storm had long since blown away, allowing fresh, clear sunlight to spill into the room and fill it with a warm glow.
> Settling in at the small table, you fold your arms.
"So."
> "So..."
> Shifting nervously in her seat, Twilight gathers a breath and plunges headfirst in.
> "I'm sorry. I broke into your room, and-"
"Shh. Hey, Twilight, remember what we just talked about? Blaming yourself? Don't ever apologize for seeking my help if you need it."
> Color touches her cheeks, and she nods.
>>
>>25555414

> "And you're right about that. I've been... holding myself back. I don't know how, but I must have been."
> Twilight's head falls, hanging in something halfway between an embarrassed pose and a bow.
> "I still don't think I deserve the kindness you've shown me, especially if I've been holding myself back from repaying you. But - I won't refuse it, either."
"Sometimes we need someone else to give us a little push and show how much we're holding ourselves back, Twilight. I promise, if you really put some effort into this, things will get better."
> "I'll hold you to that."
> There's a touch of the old surety in her voice that brings a small grin to your lips.
"You'd better. For starters - once we eat, let's sit down and have a look at the last project you were working on."
> Immediately she stiffens, but again you raise a finger and preempt any objection:
"And the first thing we're going to do, is look at what the risk of testing your ideas are and how we can keep everyone safe despite them."
> That puts a smile back on Twilight's face.
> "That... I think I can do."
"Then come on. Eat up - we've got a lot to work on."

--------

"Okay, that's last check. Anyone else report?"
> "Looks good over here."
> "Ready on station two."
> "Station three, clear."
> "Fourth, go ahead."
"Twilight?"
> Beside you, Twilight stares intently at the computer screen intently.
> "One second, sir. There's an abnormal temperature gradient on C-8, I want to see if it smooths out."
> A soft groan issues from somewhere in the control room, but you hold up a hand to halt any further questioning.
"She knows this system as well as any of us do, people. She says we wait, we wait."
> In truth, Twilight probably knew it better than most of them.
> But it had already been enough trouble to convince management to allow Twilight into the control room for the test.
> No need to antagonize anyone by pointing out that she could have replaced any of half the people in the room.
>>
>>25555422

> Being there was the only way you'd gotten her consent to use her ideas, though.
> The only way you could settle her mind.
> Even that had only been after weeks of gently building Twilight's confidence up.
> Though you'd gotten back to work that day, she'd hardly leapt into it with immediate gusto.
> Starting with safety measures first helped.
> As had repeatedly checking each step; while Twilight did so with a neurotic intensity that worried you, her relief at finding no errors seems worth the cost.
> Step by step, she had crawled back.
> Faltering sometimes - more than once you'd found her nearly in tears, paralyzed with fear over how to proceed.
> Terrified she'd fail you somehow.
> But those times were overcome; with each step forward, the next became easier.
> Soon she's forging her own path again.
> Not waiting for your suggestions but inventing her own.
> Thinking for herself.
> No, you might not ever be able to fill the place in her heart Twilight held for her original mentor.
> You allowed the little hope that you might be becoming another kind of mentor to her, though.
> One thing, however, you'd been unable to shift the mare on:
> If her ideas were to be tested again, she would be there this time.
> She would take responsibility, for better or for worse.
> And so here you find yourself.
"Twilight?"
> "Yeah, hold on. It's just - a second longer..."
> With a whoosh of breath she nods, turning up to peer at you.
> "It's ready, sir."
"And you?"'
> Hesitation flickers across her face, but Twilight swallows heavily and forces a nod.
> "Ready."
"Okay! Begin dumping from the 2nd tank. Keep it slow for now, wait for the pressure to come up before we push it."
> The words are barely needed.
> Every man and woman in the control room this night has already rehearsed the process four times over.
> So had you and Twilight - no less than a dozen times.
> Still, though, the reminder did its duty.
"Fifteen percent. Twilight, how's it looking?"
>>
>>25555441

> "Good here, sir."
"Carol, Rich, what's your readings?
> "One-ninety and rising."
> "Okay here too."
> Everything seemed to be running fine on your screen too.
> No one speaks if they do not need to, the tension rising in the room as surely as it was in the miles of pipes and machinery spread out before you.
"Twilight?"
> "Nothing bad so far. I think it's just - oooh. Uh-oh."
"Talk to me, Twilight."
> "Temperature's dropping in the third pressure vessel."
> Your stomach falls out.
> A leak?
> More bad piping?
> This time, anyone down there should already be in a safe area, but still...
"How fast?"
> "Two-point-five a minute, sir."
"Not too fast; we have some time. Find out what it is; everyone else, keep going."
> No hesitation in her actions, Twilight leaps to work - pouring through screen after screen of plans and calculations to figure out what might be wrong.
> Behind you, another voice also laden with concern speaks up:
> "Another pressure drop, circuit twenty-four."
> "Twenty-four, that's linked to the same pressure vessel. It's the same."
> Twilight hasn't even looked up from her work but her answer comes in a moment, without any hesitation.
"Agreed. Keep an eye on it."
> While her voice might be steady, you see the familiar signs building up.
> Tail flicking in something beyond mere nervousness.
> Nostrils flared wide to support her rapid breathing.
> Ears, fallen to the sides of her head - not folded straight forward as they did when she was focused on something, but flattened in an attempt to tune out the world.
> To force out the weight on her mind.
> "...I don't get it. If it were leaking from the vessel, it should be much slower - or all at once."
> "Do we shut down?"
> "No, I - I just need a second-"
> Still Twilight doesn't look up your co-worker's question.
> Mostly, you think, because she couldn't force herself to look him in the eye right now.
> Suddenly she stiffens - tail shooting straight out in shock.
>>
>>25555460

> "Of course! Shut the emergency vent on circuit twenty-four."
> "Close the emergency vent?! When there's something wrong?"
> Ignoring her aggrieved tone, Twilight goes on:
> "That's the input feed on the reactor. It's got a back-flow preventer; it shouldn't flow out of the pressure vessel. But if the preventer breaks and it flows back and out the emergency release, the reaction slows in the vessel and the temperature drops."
> "But there's no sign of anything wrong with the back-flow preventer!"
> "It's got to be that - trust me!"
> Twisting about, Twilight peers up at you - her eyes wide and fearful, begging you to do something.
"You're the one with the data, Twilight. If we close that emergency release, will the pipes hold the pressure?"
> Her throat catches; she hadn't thought of that possibility.
> And she knows all too well - especially after demanding to see the security footage of the accident - what could happen if the pipes did not.
> Eye flick back to her screens, pouring through data and trying to pull a judgement together.
> "...yes, sir."
"How sure are you?"
> "Absolutely, sir."
> No, say her eyes.
> She isn't sure at all.
> But she knows they will despite that personal uncertainty.
> Responsibility was the reason she was here, after all.
"Then do it. Shut off the pipes to the emergency release; route around it if you have to. Raise the input circuit pressure until it matches the pressure vessel's."
> A second later, you add:
"If it goes bad, it's on my head."
> Twilight had dared to put her neck on the line.
> You could do the same.
> For the briefest second no one replies, but then comes a sullen voice:
> "Valve closed, and pressure rising."
> Silence makes itself felt again now, the dull hum of computer cooling fans seeming deafening.
> If it did go wrong, and the entire pressure vessel vented, then-
> From somewhere behind you echoes a loud bang, followed by the bubbling hiss of escaping liquid under pressure.
>>
>>25555476

> Ducking, you twist to-
> "Sorry! Sorry! I dropped my soda can, it just burst. It's okay, everyone."
"...fucking hell, Rich. You give me a heart attack like that, you're paying for the bill. Clean it up later - what's the pressure doing?"
> "Approaching normal with the reactor vessel, and... temperature is rising again. Approaching normal!"
"Keep adjusting the input pressure to keep that temperature within tolerances. We'll have to get the backflow valve fixed later."
> "Understood."
> Leaning back in your seat, you rest a hand on your chest and feel the thud-thud of your heart beating beneath it.
> A soft touch to your thigh drags your attention down to where Twilight looks up.
> Silently she mouths a small 'thank you'.
> Then she is fallen back into her focus, her professional demeanor returning - confidently calling out orders.
> No one questions her now.
> The facade holds until you step back into the apartment hours later, sleep tugging at the corners of your eyes but mind riding high on success.
> Bent over to drop your bags, you stagger as Twilight all but crashes into your ribs, latching all four limbs about your torso in a hug that sends you reeling.
> Laughter echoes from both of you as you stagger, collapsing after a few steps into the couch.
> Air whooshes from your lungs as Twilight ends up falling on top of you, giggles bubbling up from her throat.
> "I-I'm sorry, sir."
> She's barely holding herself together.
> In a stark reversal of how it had been before, rather than being near tears she now simply didn't seem to know what to do with the wave of happiness she was riding on.
"Sorry? The hell are you sorry for?"
> "K-Knocking you over, s-"
"Twilight."
> Lightly you tap her on the nose with a single finger.
"I told you about that 'sir'."
> "Sorry. I - I guess I still can't quite believe we're home and safe and everything went right and-"
> Again your finger taps her face - this time to her lips.
>>
>>25555261
I thought we were going to take a break to give the content creators some time?
>>
>>25555489

"I know. Your first time out really leading something since it all came down, huh?"
> Wordlessly Twilight nods, folding her limbs beneath her and settling on the sofa.
> "Some part of me still thinks its all going to go wrong, even though we finished and came home."
"Even if it hadn't gone perfectly - you did well there, Twilight. Thinking on the fly, realizing something unexpected might have happened. That's good - I'm proud of you."
> Crimson colors her cheeks and she ducks her head, mumbling something softly.
> Guessing what was said is relatively easy; she always did react well to praise.
"Now, I know it's going to be hard, but we really should try and get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to come, no matter how hard we want it not to."
> Running up her muzzle into a frustrated scrunch, Twilight still gives a small nod.
> "Yeah. You're right."
"Come on. I'll flip you for first rights to the bathroom."
> A few minutes later she finishes her turn in the bathroom and slips into your room - landing on the bed with a small jump.
> That'd been another change; after that first incident, Twilight had begun to stay in your room every night.
> First because you'd not thought to stop it, and then because an unspoken agreement had developed between the two of you.
> No 'funny stuff' as she'd put it, but the mutual comfort that came with having another presence beside you at night.
> No longer was every night interrupted by her nightmares; now the terrors came every few days at most.
> Tonight, however, you can see something is troubling her as you slip beneath the covers.
"...you know, they say not to go to sleep in a bad mood, Twilight. So - penny for your thoughts?"
> "It's nothing."
> It isn't.
> She's been here too long for you to believe that.
> She's also been here long enough for you to know when not to push.
> Sighing softly, you reach over to scratch lightly beneath her chin.
>>
>>25555500

> A small gesture of intimacy that had come to be used when you wanted to reassure Twilight.
> To remind her that you were there.
> Only then is the light switched off, and you slide down beneath the covers to-
> "Anon?"
"Yes, Twilight?"
> "If things are finally going right again... does this mean my magic will be coming back soon?"
> Ah.
> No wonder she'd been in such a mood.
"I don't know, Twilight. I'd think so - now that you see that you don't have to be afraid of using your brains or your magic."
> "But you can't be sure."
> Sighing gently, you nod.
"Yes. I can't be sure."
> Scooting down the rest of the way, you reach up to scratch Twilight lightly beneath the chin again.
> Legs close around your arm, tugging it close against her chest and belly, head tilting up to give you access to her jaw and throat.
"Even if it doesn't come back real soon, you're still you. I'm still proud of what you're doing, and you should be to."
> Only then do you flip the light off, leaving you to fall asleep with the warm, plush sensation of Twilight's coat against your arm.

Anyhow, that's it for now. Next update might be a few days out since I'll be busy stuffing my face with turkeyday stuff, but it should wrap things up when it does come.

If thread wants to take a break at some point, that'd be fine as well.
>>
Thread could do what /bug/ is doing and have an IRC channel for inter-thread banter, discussion, and figuring when to put a new thread up.

I could always manage it for the thread if someone comes up with a good channel name.
>>
How about Horse Trader Monthly?
>>
>>25555639
What about
#slaveponethread
>>
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I almost want to make a story where Sadistic Anon buys Fluttershy, but then I remembered that I haven't writefagged before and it would probably be shit.
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>>25555924
just do it
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>>25555992
Nothing is impossible
Thank you Shia
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>>25556004
remember to namefaq or a faggot will stole your story
>>
>>25555783

I'd probably shorten it to #slavepone because shorter channel names are easier. Also, the changeling channel is #bugpone

>>25555671

#HorseTraderMonthly might be a bit long, and not necessarily as easy to recognize what it's for.
>>
bump 4 jessie
>>
I'll probably just keep this as a oneshot, but here we go:

>You look up at the butter-colored pegasus from your side of the table.
>Your newest purchase, the first pony you've bought.
>Her lower lip is quivering and she looks to be on the verge of tears.
>Or vomit? Hopefully not that, you don't like cleaning up very much.
>She's staring horrifiedly at the raw steak on her plate.
>You hear a sharp intake of breath, and a soft, squeaky sniffle.
>How absolutely charming.
>The corners of your mouth can't help but to make a big, delighted grin.
"Going to eat? No?"
>"Uh I-I'm sorry, I c-can't eat m-"
>Time to bawl her out for your own amusement.
"OH, OH, THE PICKY BITCH CAN'T EAT A GODDAMNED STEAK!"
>You swear you see her pupils shrink to half their size as she recoils from your statement.
>This one must not like yelling, eh?
>You continue as you stand up and make the few strides to be face-to-face with her.
"SO I GO OUT AND BUY SOME FOOD FOR YOUR DUMB ASS, AND WHAT? YOU'RE TOO *GOOD* TO EAT IT?"
>The first tears are flowing from her oversized cyan eyes, which are focused on your smiling face. She's breathing shakily, too.
>You can feel that bubbly lightness in your chest.
>"W-Well ponies c-can't eat meat"
>There's a first for everything, hon.
>You grab her by her adorable little ear and yank her (not too gently) up to face level.
>She lets out a pained yelp.
>"Please stop hurting me, I'm sorry y-you bought food that I c-can't eat!"
>You smirk, and the pony looks like she's about to get hit.
"Who says you can't?"
>You grab the steak off her plate.
>She makes the cutest sound as you push her back against the closed blinds of your dining-room window.
>Her eyes widen and she tries to squirm out of your grip as you shove the slab of raw beef just a few inches from her face.
"Hungry now?"

More will come (I hope)
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>>25555414
>tfw Thanksgiving family bullshit is making it impossible to immerse myself in this properly and I can't continue it right now
>>
Waiting for a response to my shitty green is a lot like fishing: it reminds me that I have absolutely no fucking patience
>>
>>25556072

eh. Registered #slavepone on rizon.

Feel free to come bullshit around.
>>
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>>25555515
I love your story. And nearly had a heart attack myself at the soda can. Great work.
>>
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>>25556523
continue add rape pls
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>>25555924
Don't worry, we will tell you to fuck off, if it would appear to be a shit. There's nothing to be afraid of.
>>
>>25556523
I hate you, but I love you, but I hate you.
>>
>>25555498
THE CONTENT CREATORS ARE THE SLAVES
THEY HAVE NO OPTIONS
>>
>>25556739
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up, this is just a first-time writefagging!
I'll add rape if it escalates to that, senpai
>>
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>>25556770
ADD RAPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
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>>25556782
calm yo tits dude
>>
>>25555515
GOD DAMN IT RICH
>>
>>25555515
Based
a
s
e
d
>>
>>25556523
this feels like its pushing into the SiM thread area. but I'm not entirely sure..
>>
>>25556803
FUCK YOU!!!!
>>
>>25556523
Thanks for the feedback, guys. Now, back to the story:
>You let her get a good whiff of the steak in between her wracking sobs.
>She's terrified at this point, and is currently flailing around weakly as you hold her against the wall.
>A blindly thrown back leg manages to catch you in the ribcage.
>This pony clearly missed leg day. Sure it hurt some, but nothing you can't get over.
>The arm pinning her by the neck stays there as you slide the pony down to the floor.
>She takes in a gasp of air as you remove your arm.
>She's a crying mess right now, and frankly, it's quite amusing.
>A smirk forms on your face as she breathes raggedly, eyes closed and forelegs wrapped around herself.
>"I... I'm sorry. P-please, I- I won't..."
>The grin on your face right now. Oh god, it is a masterpiece of an evil grin.
>It is the last well-formed thought you have before you lose control of yourself and your mind.

Don't worry,
>>25556904
I have plans. You'll see.
Please keep up with the feedback, my next one might seem weird, but go with the flow.
>>
>>25554980
hey jessie can we have some sex before you go to sleep please?
>>
>>25557074
Will be back with more, thanksgiving stuff is happening
>>
>>25548229

>A moment after she moves herself from you and wipes her face off.
>Slightly flustered about what happened, she doesn't directly look at you.
>Still, she makes a small smile and looks in your general direction.
>"Th-thanks."
"No problem, Rainbow."
>A small blush is seen in her face.
>You get up and proceed to peek out the window.
>The force of the rain has picked up slightly.
*sigh*"Looks dreary out, not much we can do cramped up in this house."
>"I-it's fine."
"You wanna watch some more T.V.? It's one of the only thing we can do right now."
>On the top of one of your shelves is some board games.
"We could play some board game if you-"
>"Ehhhh, that's not really my style. T.V. doesn't sound too terrible."
>Both of you chuckle a little.
>...The rest of the evening is spent watching movies.
>You didn't realize until after a little into the first movie, but Rainbow sits close to you now.
>Both of you are pretty much laid back into the couch.
>By the third movie, you were pretty tired.
>It was pretty hard to even keep your eyes open.
>You look over at Rainbow to see if she is still awake.
>...Oh?
>It's seems she fell asleep. Body tilted towards you and head slightly on your shoulder.
>>
>>25557281
>Seems she's prety relaxed right now.
>Time to turn off the T.V.
>Grabbing the remote from the side you press the power button to turn it off.
>You sneak your way out and proceed to tuck her in for the evening.
>Before putting the blanket on her though you see the only thing that still bothers you.
>The shock collar on her neck.
>...
>To hell with it, you would rather have it off her right now.
>Carefully, you remove the device from her neck.
>Her face twitches slightly, but thankfully she didn't wake up.
>You finish tucking her in for the night and proceed to your room.
>Now it's time to find a spot for these items.
>The bottom drawer of your dresser would work.
>Nothing is really in there anyway.
>After placing the collar in the drawer, it's time to get ready for bed.
>You check the weather on your phone beforehand.
>It still say the rain will be her for the next two days with chances of flooding.
>Oh well, you can find ways to keep both you and her entertained.
>She seems to be opening up quite a bit now.
>You set the alarm, and practically fall onto your bed.
>Time to go to sleep.

Small update for today guys.
Thanksgiving was crap so I haven't been in the best mindset today.
>>
>>25555639
>IRC
>Ever

Christ no that's a one way ticket to cancer and elitism in a place where that shit should never exist.

Besides let's not kid ourselves we don't have THAT many writefags to warrent that type of organization. If the thread dies and the active writefags finish/leave just let the thread go. Don't be a one note flavor that stays beyond its welcome.
>>
>>25555515
Thank you. Genuinely, thank you. You are the feels vanguard of this thread. One of them, anyway.

>>25556523
You're a fucking cunt, just letting you know. More.

>>25557292
Sorry to hear that, Anon. Good feels for us at least. Thank you.
>>
>>25557074
Okay, story stuff!

>You are Anon.
>And you've woken up on top of your bed, fully clothed, with a broken chair leg in your hand.
>It's happened before.
>You should know, considering your dissociative personality disorder and all.
>Your evil alternate personality sure likes to fuck things up with his sadistic ways.
>You rub the sleep out of your eyes with your free hand.
>Sadistic Anon can do some crazy shit when you don't take your meds.
>Hence why you live alone.
>Alright, you've got to do stuff and not be a gigantic lazy slob.
>Your ribcage kind of hurts, but whoever kicked you must have skipped leg day.
>You laugh at the though as you stand up and brush yourself off.
>Nope, you don't notice the blood on the chair leg as you toss it into a pile of dirty clothes.
>You do, however, notice the blood on the floor as you enter the kitchen.
>You also notice the little pegasus sprawled in the corner of the dining room.
>The poor thing.
>Butter-colored fur, stained by her own blood, cutiemark of 3 butterflies barely visible.
>Legs and wings, most bent at awkward angles.
>Bruises, ones so bad you can see them through that yellow coat of hers.
>Oh, and a really cute pink mane.
>Your alter ego must have really gone to town on her.
>Your sympathetic thoughts stop as you slip on a steak and fall on the floor.
>It's still raw, and there's a bite taken out of it.
>MUH STEAK.
"I was gonna cook that last night, you motherfucker!"
>Stop moping about the beef, there's a pony in critical condition in your dining room.
>As you walk over and attempt to help, she begins to stir.

We'll that might just be it for tonight. More coming your way.
>>
>>25555515
Good stuff here. I am hooked.
>>
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>>25557292
Really enjoying this Blue Fast story.
>>
>>25558468
An 8 minute bump, really?
>>
>>25555261
I miss that sweetie belle story
>>
I'm expecting a Kunoriu type story
>>
>>25559063
A wat?
>>
>>25550275
>Your mind is far from thoughts on the tractor as the mare walks away.
“Wait!”
>Maud stops and looks back over her shoulder.
“Do you know what’s going on in the barn?”
>”No,” she answers flatly. “Don’t you?”
“Y-yes.”
>She stands stiff as a rock, the only movement a slow, patient blink.
“But you can hear her crying –“
>”You would tell me if you wanted me to know,” Maud says with an almost imperceptible shrug. “I just hope it isn’t too bad, whatever it is. She’s had a hard life.”
>She’s not the first pony to tell you that in recent days.
>You sigh loudly and glance towards the barn door again.
>She can’t know what’s happening – even if she *does* know, she can’t – but her comments have you on edge.
>Your heart is pounding and mind racing – you’re not sure if this is a good development or not, yet. Still trying to figure it out.
>”Sir?”
“What?”
>You’d almost forgotten about Maud.
>No, you had forgotten.
>”Can I go now?”
“Yes. Almost. Wait.”
>She doesn’t move.
“Are you sure Apple Bloom’s brother is dead?”
>”Yes.”
>Maud fidgets, her eyes darting away from you with uncharacteristic discomfort.
>You don’t want to press her any further, but you need to know.
>If you can get out of the contract…
>Well, it would be the best thing for Apple Bloom, right?
>And the farm, probably. Short-term, at least.
>”I should get back –“
“How do you know?”
>She answers with a silent stare, her tail lazily moving back and forth.
>In another pony, that might mean nothing. From her, it’s a warning.
“Did you see the body, because –“
>”I don’t want to talk about this.”
>You shouldn’t push any further – it’ll undermine your authority if you keep it up and she refuses to answer – but you have to.
>>
>>25559449
>It’s for the best – you *have* to.
“Neither do I, Maud, but I need to know.”
>She meets your eyes briefly, before turning.
>”Ask Roma,” the mare tells you as she trots away. “She used to live in Ponyville.”
“But…”
>You hesitantly take a step to follow her, but she doesn’t stop.
>The signs where there – you saw them – not that they made any sense. It’s not like you were talking about her family, so why was she so uncomfortable?
>There’s no point calling her back – you lost control of the conversation when you pushed her too far.
>You could try to regain it, demand she come answer your questions, but sometimes it’s better to let go.
>Even to someone as new to this lifestyle as you, it’s common sense – never give a pony an order they won’t follow.

end for tonight
Not that I'm saying any of the speculation about Big Mac is right or wrong, but did no one remember Roma's comment about him dying and AJ running away?
>>
About time we had some pony abuse on a.. gasp. Pony slavery board.
>>
>>25555261
Update when?
>>
>>25559486
RICHARD ROMA
>>
>>25555414
it would be interesting that later proved that the accident at the factory was due to the material used was defective, or that had been made with lower quality to the specifications from the manufacturer to save a few dollars and that was not the fault of the original design

sorry for the bad english
>>
>>25555261

Hey, OP: Your last link is fucked. It goes to the universe-swapped-Anon-with-Twilight story, not the bin for A Deal is a Deal. Proper bin for that story is http://pastebin.com/DK21fjWz
>>
>>25559486


I personally took that to be as much hearsay about hearsay as anything else: Roma might have only heard it from AB, Applejack might have only heard it from someone that Mac died, etc.
>>
>>25559709
This
>>
>>25555498
A content creator made this thread m8. We take break when a dry spot is reached

>>25555515
This doesn't seem like a epilouge and more of a continuation? Did you have second thoughts about ending it or is it going to wrap up real quick in the next update? Either way the happy good feels from this are really... really nice and a fantastic way to end a good day. Thanks man.

>>25557292
There needs to be cuddles and comforting and maybe sex in this. If anon was looking for a companion maybe also explain why he settled on a pony too. Just a thought.

>>25558294
Errr. Okay. Let it be said that not only enjoy non white knight shit and wish there was more of it. That being said the whole DID part of this along the straight up unreasonable sadism and abuse anon is giving is just stupid and the thing is it doesn't have to be. Its very easy to write a person doing bad things for selfish reasons or simply pleasures without making them some sort of growling insane monster (hell its far easier then writing a believable white knight too). The way your going about it is cringey and bad friend I suggest revision.

>>25559486
I swear to god these twist, double twists, and turn around are driving me insane. Just get to the no good bad feels already How hard is it to go up to Applebloom and ask "is that your brother?"

I like your story man, but Anon refuses to drop the idiot ball.
>>
>>25559035
I really miss the Scootaloo one, but at least twi and bluefast are back swinging

>>25555515 >>25557292 thanks for the feels
>>
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Updating on the Minuette story from a couple threads ago.

>You wake up the next morning to the sound of hooves on hard tile.
>When you say "morning", you mean around 3 pm, but that's besides the point.
>Your roommate (slave, again with the details) seems to be walking around your house somewhere.
>Almost immediately your still hazy mind drifts back to what happened last night.
>And while you are proud of yourself for making an effort to journey outside your well defined social shell, you're still disappointed with the general state of things.
>Minuette seems to be a lot more unstable than you would have previously assumed.
>You really do feel bad for her, no one should have to experience... whatever unthinkable deprived stuff she's probably been subjected to.
>The worse part about the situation is that you don't feel that your relationship with her is strong enough for you to help in any significant way.
>You're used to feeling powerless when it comes to controlling your life, but this is a new low.
>Get your act together man, you suck.
>Might as well start by leaving the bedroom.
>Hopefully interaction will be smoother after last night.
>>
>>25561025

>You make your way to your kitchen to get some breakfast, lunch, whatever.
>After rooting through a couple cabinets, you're able to find a mostly empty box of stale Lucky Charms.
>Best Thanksgiving leftovers ever, shit is going to be dope.
>You look up from your humble feast to notice Minuette making her way into the kitchen.
>She still looks nervous, her ears are pinned down and she walks close the walls while avoiding your gaze.
>"H-hey."
"H-hay is for horses."
>Silence.
>You seriously suck.
>Okay, it's cool, you can still save this.
"So, uh, are you feeling better? How is your day going?"
>Minuette looks skittish, she starts to back her way out of the kitchen.
>Overcoming the urge to cut off the conversation when the situation presents itself, you speak up again.
"Listen, I know that you're going through tough times, and you probably hate me, but if there is a-anything I can do to help you, please tell me."
>That statement at least stops her from making her way out of the kitchen.
>She pauses for a moment before speaking, at very least her voice has gained some confidence.
>"I don't trust you."
"W-what?"
>This time, she speaks the words much more slowly, raising her voice slightly in volume.
>>
>>25561029

>"I don't trust you."
>It takes a minute for you to process the words.
>The gravity of having one of the few people, uh, ponies, you've reached out to perceive you so negatively is hard to swallow.
>Your mind races trying to think of a specific action that could have caused this.
>You fucked up and can't even remember, great.
>Minuette speaks up, halting your thoughts.
>"Y-you're just like the rest of them. Just waiting for me to think I'm safe, I-I know it, you're so quiet, plotting ways to u-use me. T-then when I step out of line, you'll torture me, b-beat me, r-r-rape me, and I can't..."
>You can see she is about to revert her way back to full breakdown status.
>Unable to finish her thought, Minuette is once again reduced to a shaking blue mess.
>You can tell that it is important to pull her out of this, but you can't handle it.
>Everything is too much, your failures are just piling on top of each other.
>Holy shit breathing is hard.
>You want to do something, say something, anything, but it is beyond you at this point.
>>
>>25561035

"S-sorry."
>You do the worst possible thing.
>You start to cry.
>Pathetic, absolutely pathetic.
>You're almost too immersed in your own fit to notice Minuette giving you a confused look.
>Come on, words.
>You manage to choke out a sentence through your own tears.
"I don't want to hurt you, I-I just wanted someone around to lighten up the place. But I can't even achieve that! I'm completely incapable, I can't help you, or even talk to you because I spend all my time locked away terrified of basic conversation. I'm sorry you were abused, I'm sorry I'm making you live in filth and I'm sorry I'm too much of a degenerate to change the situation. I won't bother you again."
>Minuette just gives you a very wide-eyed look while you pour your heart out.
>Probably more than you've said in the past few weeks combined.
>And while you can't help but feel you've fucked things up beyond repair, it honestly feels good to get so much off of your chest.
>But at the same time, you can't help but notice one important thing.
>Minuette stopped shaking.
>>
>>25561035
This could be paced more slowly. Enjoying it.
>>
>>25561039

>"W-wait. You can feel emotion?"
>It's your turn to return her wide-eyed confused look.
"Yeah, what's it look like?"
>You've managed to stop crying, but it's still clear that you're a wreck.
>"I-I didn't know. I guess I've always thought you humans were emotionless creatures designed to t-torture or something. I've never heard any of my old masters say anything like that."
>While the statement surprises you, you can at least see the reasoning behind it.
"No, we can feel. We aren't machines. The only people you've met are just horrible monsters, bad examples. And I'm not great either, b-but I'm not going to plot against you, even if I wanted to, I'm not clever enough to do something like that. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm honestly just an awkward loser who wanted a friend."
>The room is filled with a heavy silence, but you can see Minuette's body language relax the slightest bit.
>"I still don't think I trust you."
"I-I guess that fair. Trust is built, you can't just trust someone immediately."
>"Well, hey, m-maybe that's something we can work on, if you're serious."
>Your heart leaps.
>For once, maybe things are going to work out better for both of you.
>You're still far from confidence, but you're starting to feel slightly more at ease.
"Yeah, I mean it."
>"Permission to speak freely, master?"
"Equals, remember?"
>"Right! Old habits, sorry. Well, I figure if we're equals here maybe we can, um, clean this house? It's... really disgusting."
>As much as the obvious statement embarrasses you, she has a point.
"S-sure, when do you want to start?"
>"Um... how about now?"
>You look around the kitchen at the filth around you and grimace.
>You suppose things are going to have to get worse before they get better.
>>
>>25561045

That's all that I have for right now. Sorry for the delay and poor pacing as already pointed out. These last few hours are pretty much the only time I've been free and sober since whenever my last update was. I really want to do better for you guys, but I'm having trouble. Hopefully next update I can get my shit together a little more. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
>>
>>25561070
Thank you, writefag.
>>
>>25561070
Shit.. I have to go back and read this from the beginning
>>
>>25558294
I would suggest making the gap between his personalities much bigger, maybe even complete opposite.
>>
>>25561070
iz ok, mang. We love you anyways.
>>
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>>25561070
Good luck writefag.
>>
>>25561070
I think its well done, if a bit bad on the pacing, as the others said. these threads seem to be going strong, so I think if maybe you just pop in say "hey I'm working on it" that way you dont have to constantly force yourself to update things will be fine
that being said, this anon is killing me inside, mostly because youre making me look into a mirror and realize, other than the filth, this anon is a lot like me and I don't think I would be able to handle it much differently than him in the situation.
I mean, my newly bought slave, who I had planned to help, at least a bit, clearly has no trust, is completely terrified of me, and worst of all thought I was a machine, shit shes even a cute little blue pony crying in front of me
Jesus I'm a loser
>>
>>25561045
In this universe I can imagine there is a thing where middle aged and elderly men keep more ponies in their homes than they can take care of.


Crazy Cat Ladies =
Neckbeard Pony Collectors.
>>
I'm going to rewrite the last part of my story, but unfotunately, I can't delete the two posts I want to get rid of.
>>25557074
>>25558294
Just ignore them or something.
Also,
>>25560129
I will be addressing your grievances.
>>
Bored and at work so, fuck it, I'll give it a shot

>The orange earth pony tried not to show any fear as the gate swung shut and latched. She stood there hobbled and muzzled as the man that had bought her circled.

" I don't know what you're thinking, mister " she said through the restraint " but, if yer gonna "

>Her words were cut off as he sprays her down with a hose, soaking her coat. She blinks rapidly trying to regain her sight but can only see him walking up to her, kneeling down and taking a firm hold

" wait now " she yelps as she is pulled in closer and starts to struggle, but, only for a moment.

>She stands there confused as a bar of soap runs over her coat, forming a thick lather. " Settle down " he says " I only want to get the stink of the holding pen off you "

>She stands there, a bit surprised and be it, almost thankful to be getting clean again. Her muscles relax as she starts to lean on the man. A few moments later she is rinsed off and a soft towel covers her, pulling the dampness from her coat.

>As you reach down and unhook the hobbles, she gives you an odd look. " Umm.. thanks " she says " I'm.. uhh... I'm Apple Jack "

You nod, " I'm Anon " you reply back " I know you have a lot of questions, but for right now, lets get you something to eat and some rest, then I'll answer your questions "
>>
>>25561070
>Minuettefag is back
Yiss. Okay, pacing is definitely a thing, but that doesn't mean you aren't doing a damn good job. Keep this going - just because you've pushed one breakthrough in their relationship doesn't mean you can't develop the rest more evenly, and there's plenty to develop here.
>>
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still waiting for jessie
>>
anal bump
>>
"Join the IRC" bump
>>
>>25556523
Welp, I didn't like where the story was going, so rewrite time. Forget the last two posts, I'm starting after the first one again.

>You are Anon.
>And you've just force-fed a raw steak to a little technicolor pony.
>She wasn't the one you wanted to buy, but still, does that warrant what you did?
>Seriously, what did she ever do to you?
>From your side of the room, you can see the little yellow-and-pink ball that is her sprawled in the corner.
>She's been bawling for half an hour, no sign of stopping.
>Holy shit, the mare's got waterworks.
>The rush faded away 20 minutes ago.
>Her suffering is no longer making you happy.
>You're no longer happy.
>This is actually kind of sad.
>Well...
>At any rate, you can't just leave her there.
>You leave your position propped up against the wall, and stand.
>Carry your pone into the living room, all the while she's sniffling and mumbling incoherently.
>Drop her on the sofa.
>Yes, drop her. The pathetic whimper you know she'll make is too good to pass up.
>Stuff like that always makes you feel good on the inside.
>You make yourself some toast; torturing an innocent little furball sure drains you.
>You don't know what compels you to wait around until she finally begins to sleep.
>Chewing on the piece of burnt toast, you think, but would never admit, that it's some fatherly instinct you've been trying to ignore.
>She looks so peaceful curled up on the couch.
>Go away, conscience. Please kindly shut the hell up.
>A quick check of the clock shows you that it's get-the-fuck-to-bed time.
>Well into the real nigga hours.
>If there's one thing you're happy for, it is the sleep that quickly overtakes you.

I hope this is better than the other try at expanding the oneshot.
>>
If you care to add mine to the list, I have my story at http://pastebin.com/ZmQHUCRc
>>
JESSIE!!!!!!
>>
jessie come here little kitty
>>
>>25560129
>Anon refuses to drop the idiot ball.
He's known there's a chance that the stallion is AB's brother for all of 5 minutes. Give the spineless bastard a chance to gather his courage and man the fuck up before kicking open the door and asking the poor mare if that's her brother currently balls deep in her.
>>
>>25562937
You have no idea how to bump a thread.
>>
stop begging jessi to post content and make some yourself you fucking heathens.
Making a general isn't automatically cancer-bumping it every ten minutes and having most of the replies devoid of content makes a thread cancer.
>>
>>25563331
3331
bump refused
>>
>>25563459
cancer
>>
>Once upon a time. I...Zephaniah Mann, spend my family's fortune to buy all the colorful horses in Equestria, and I regret it. But it was fun to give them to my stupid degenerate sons of mine. Now they can fight for useless cartoon horses and kill each other off.
>>
JESSI!!!!
>>
why is that faggot not showing up?
>>
bumo
>>
>>25555261
What about a pony owning Anon as a slave?
>>
>>25564216
Get meme'd m8 nobody wants that.
>>
>>25562113
>>25562290
Fuck off
>>
>>25563719
>the fuck, why have my sons became wing horn people. They say theyre imortal too.
>>
>>25556523
you dead, you imaginary scum fucker son of bitch
>>
So, I kinda want to write my own story, but I dunno how green text works...

Anyone care to explain?
>>
>>25564733
put a ">" at the beginning of each line.
also leave it out during some dialog to help differentiate who is speaking.
????
profit
>>
>>25556683
>>25556891
Hah, okay. So, the soda can thing was directly lifted from something that happened in a chemistry lab several years ago. We weren't supposed to bring food through, of course, but the lab supervisor didn't give a fuck and everyone piled their lunches in this little storage room at the back, away from the active projects and went back to get them later.

I'm coming in late one day, rushing madly through. I pause at my bench to drop my lab notebook off before I put my lunch down. Of course the lunch bag falls off my shoulder, and of course the soda can inside bursts. Cue forty people losing their shit trying to figure out whose project was hissing and fizzing, presumably about to blow up.

Supervisor still didn't give a fuck, and we went right back to doing it anyhow.
>>
>>25564733
>Doesn't even understand how green text work

Jesus Christ lurk. Lurk you retard. Why is that so hard to understand that. If you don't have a clue about what your doing observe others until you do.

By the way you put a ">" at the beginning of each line
>>
>>25564733
>Uses a name
>Doesn't even know how to meme arrow
>Asks others to explain instead of reading the FAQ

I'm reading newfag levels that shouldn't even be possible
>>
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>>25564733
just be lazy and write normally and just link a pastebin.
>>
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>>25564715
>>
There's so much cancer in here, I think we need a fucking awareness ribbon.

How about orange?
>>
>>25564899

Dunno how to use pastebin either...
>>
>>25565073
go to google
search pastebin
create an account
post stories in there
>>
>>25565210
Thx m8
>>
Stand by. The Octavia story is complete. Sorry for the delay but it was a holiday week. Since the earlier parts were short and were two threads back, I'll repost those to have the whole thing in one place.

<picture not related
>>
>>25565241
WELL IT SHOULD BE RELATED
>>
>>25564733
Greentext 'n shit.

'>' at the beginning of a line makes it green.
Usually written in 2nd-person perspective
Dialogue from the narrator is left un-greened, while dialogue from other characters is not.
Start a new line with each sentence, except in dialogue (if you prefer).
Writing styles vary; classical greentext stories were written with very short sentences and a lot of prepositions left out. When doing a greentext story, I personally tend towards longer sentences on each 'line'.
Pastebin is really fucking easy: Sign up, create a new document, paste your story in there, save document, post link url here.
>>
Octavia Enslaved - part one

Octavia groaned and tried to get herself woke up. "Oh what happened? I don't remember drinking last night. Where am I? Why does my flank hurt?" Octavia was puzzled by the small room she was in, but her puzzlement turned to horror when she looked at her flank. It was a slave brand, newly burned on top of her cutie mark. "No. No!"

About a year after humans arrived, for some reason that still remained a mystery, Celestia had instituted slavery laws in Equestria. There were protests across the land and attempts by the other royal alicorns to get her to revoke her decree or at least explain herself, but in the end Celestia's ruling was law.

As Octavia stared at the brand, the door to the room opened and a human looked down at her.
>Get your wits about you and get up pony. You've been sold.

"What? No. There's some mistake! Please! How did I get here?"

>From what I heard, a drunken white unicorn brought you in last night.

"White unicorn? Oh no. She couldn't have! This is a misunderstanding! I'm a free pony!"

>You have been processed and sold. Your owner is waiting. There are ways to deal with disobedience. The whip. Electric prod. Hobbling. Shaving your mane and tail. Which one do you want to start with?

Octavia knew for the moment she had no choice. She needed time to think. "No. I'll cooperate."

>You'll obey.

"She lowered her head. "I'll obey."
>>
>>25565334
Hasn't this already been posted?
Or maybe something similar
either way, continue
>>
part two


Octavia was lead to the human that had purchased her and she followed him outside. She wasn't restrained, but she knew better than to run. The laws involving fugitive slaves were strict. Better to wait. "If I may, what will I be doing?"

>I've set myself up in the trade business. I think eventually I can do well, getting the right product to the right town at the right time. I need an earth pony to pull my wagon and you were the only one they had.

"Pull a wagon? But I'm a musician. I've never done this type of work."

>This first load is small. You're an earth pony. You'll adjust.

And adjust Octavia did. He was right. She was an earth pony. It wasn't easy, but after a time she got herself into a steady pulling rhythm. Later down the road he stopped allowing her to take a rest. There was a stream nearby. She was used to a nice chardonnay, but she was grateful for brook water.

>I haven't learned your name.

"It's Octavia."

>I understand they had just gotten you. I assume you're not happy.

"No sir, I'm not."

>You seem like an intelligent pony Octavia. At the moment all my money is tied up in the wagon, the trade goods and you. Building up a profit will take time. I'll make an agreement with you. You cooperate and don't cause me trouble and I'll set aside a small percentage of each sale for you. When you have earned enough to cover what I paid for you, you can buy your freedom. But it won't come quickly. Possibly a couple of years at the least. Do we have a deal?

Two years. She would have legs like a warhorse by then. Her musical career would be gone. She would still have that humiliating brand. But it was a chance. Distant and difficult, but a chance to regain her freedom. "Yes. Thank you. I won't cause trouble."

>Good. Let's get moving. We have to drop this off, then we're scheduled to take a load of freight to Ponyville.

"Ponyville?" Back to her home town. And Vinyl.
>>
>>25565395
i am getting bored, i will promise you that i will join in this story, but not now
>>
part three

Ponyville. Octavia was back. Not as a musician, but as a slave pulling a wagon. The freight had been unloaded at Barnyard Bargains and her owner was inside. Now was her chance, but if she ran, she would ruin the agreement she made. There was no choice. She had to.

It was only a short run to her home but if felt like forever. She burst in. "Vinyl!"

Vinyl entered the room looking like she had just woke up. She probably had. "Hey Tavi. Where you been? Next time leave me a note when you go on a gig."

"A GIG?! Vinyl, you stupid cow! Look at my flank! You got drunk and sold me into slavery! And you don't even remember!!"

It seemed to take a moment for what was said to get through to Vinyl. "What? Oh. That's where the money came from. I thought you left it to me to get that new sound system we talked about."

"Sound system?! I'm a slave so you could get a sound system?!" Octavia grabbed a chair, not certain if she was going to aim it at Vinyl or the electronics. But all her rage suddenly drained from her. She dropped the chair and lowered her head sadly. "Oh Vinyl."

"Tavi, I didn't mean to! I didn't know! I can fix this! Just tell me what to do!"

"Don't do anything. You've done enough." Octavia turned and started back out the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm a slave Vinyl. I can't stay here. I ran off. That makes me a fugitive. If I return to my owner and do some groveling, maybe it won't be too bad. Goodbye." Ignoring and leaving behind Vinyl's cries, Octavia returned to the store as quickly as she could. She was in luck. Her owner was just leaving the building. He hadn't seen. He didn't know.

>Octavia?

"Here sir."

>There you are. Get hitched up. There is supposed to be an apple farm around here. We're picking up a shipment.

"Sweet Apple Acres. I know where it is. May I ask a favor?"

>I suppose.

"This is unlikely, but if a unicorn ever shows up with enough bits to buy my freedom, turn her down. Tell her to go to Tartarus."
>>
>>25565368

It was but I wanted the whole story together. New parts coming now.
>>
part four

Another wagonload of freight had been delivered. Her human owner was inside finishing up the sale. Octavia was free to walk about, though she knew not to go far. How long had it been since she was enslaved? Two months? Three? She had lost track. Octavia sighed to herself. "I played before royalty. I worked with Equestria's top performers. Now I'm a draught horse." Today it was boxes of hoof polish. Tomorrow it would be chairs or sweet potatoes. "At least I'm getting exercise. Seeing the world one dirt road at a time." Octavia was grateful their travels had not taken them back through Ponyville. The last time she had been there was picking up a load of fruit at Sweet Apple Acres. She had been concerned Applejack might make a scene. The farm pony was known to be outspoken against the slavery laws. But instead she had only whispered to Octavia, telling her to escape back to the farm and that she could help her. Octavia was grateful and knew she meant well, but she could never run and involve another pony. The laws were strict about anypony helping a fugitive. No, she would free herself. Each load earned her a small amount of bits. It would be years, but she would eventually buy her freedom. Then she saw it in the window of a second hoof store. For a moment it felt like all time stopped. A cello. Not nearly as nice as the one she had back in Ponyville, but it was still the most beautiful sight in the world.

>Octavia?

She had not even noticed her owner approach. "Sir, the bits that I have. Are they enough to buy this?"

>A bass? Why?

"A cello. I was a musician. I played one. I could perform on street corners when I'm not working. I could earn extra bits. I'll carry it on my back when the wagon is full. It won't be any trouble. Please."

>Well... it is your money. I don't know if you have quite enough for it, but you have been very cooperative. And you are looking at me like a starving puppy. If it's that important, it's yours.
>>
>>25565269
Wow, thx a lot :P
>>
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>>25564216
I don't have much of that
>>
>>25562466
In continuation:

>You drag yourself out of bed at 6 in the morning.
>Didn't get much sleep, but you've got enough.
>You pull on some shitty clothes, not expecting to leave the house today.
>Slightly oversized t-shirt, an alright pair of pants, and a sweatshirt, you're also going barefoot.
>As you enter the living room, you note the yellow pony's absence.
"An early bird, huh?"
>You proceed to flop on the sofa.
>TV remote is just within your reach...
>With more willpower than movement, you manage to inch it into your hand after a couple tries.
>Flipping through news channels you glimpse the pony's yellow face peeking around the doorway.
>It's gone before you finish turning your head.
>You call after her:
"Hey! Hey, wait!"
>No response at all.
>She's terrified of you.
*sigh*
>And you don't blame her, you get pretty bad when you're mad.
>Not to mention a moderate sadism issue on your part.
>Yeeeeah.
>You'd better at least apologize so she isn't permanently scared of you.
>You wouldn't exactly enjoy that.
>Alright, you stand up and poke your head outside the doorway.
>You search for a second, looking down one side of the hallway, then the other.
>Doesn't look like anything is around in the rooms to your right.
>After a brief search, you turn your head to the left to see a pink tail and a bit of a leg poking out from a pile of laundry.
>Fucking seriously.
>11/10, 2stealthy4me.
"Nice hiding spot, can't see you at all"
>A slightly-muffled, timid squeak is the response. Seriously, the sounds this pony makes.
"I'm not gonna hurt you or anything, please just come out,"
>...
>Worth a try.
"I just wanted to apologize. I went completely overboard last night and kind of took out my anger on you,"
>Nothing?
>Well, you did kind of force her to eat half a pound of raw meat.
"Fine, you win, uh... wow, I never got your name, did I?"
>So much for that, you begin to turn away.
>It takes you completely by surprise when she answers you.
>"Fluttershy. My name, it's Fluttershy"
>>
>>25561701
Quotation marks shouldn't be spaced from the quote. It makes your writing really hard to read.

>Correct: "Hey there."
>Incorrect: " Hey there. "
>>
>>25565702
Oh, Jessi, sorry if the name drop scene in my story almost seems like yours. Just kinda how it happened in my head no lawsuit pls
>>
>>25565609
I'm so glad you came back
>>
part five

Later that evening when they had set up camp for the night and her owner was planning their next trip, Octavia nervously prepared her instrument as best she could. Her first couple of attempts to play did not go well. She had been using different muscles the last few weeks. She cringed at every off key note. But soon it all came back to her.

When they reached the next town and the shipment had been unloaded, Octavia eagerly took her opportunity. The last time she had street performed for bits was back when she was a student. She pulled out a tune from that time, a short sweet melody with the odd name of Avast the Flank. For the next few minutes she was no longer a slave. No longer a wagon puller. She was complete again. She was herself. She was Octavia.

When she was finished there was scattered applause and some bits were collected, but honestly that was secondary. She could play again. She would be starting over buying her freedom, but the many months ahead would be much more tolerable now. Returning to the wagon and storing her cello away, Octavia felt things were looking up.

Seconds later her world was upside down. Literally. She had been grabbed and was being carried away. No, not carried. Levitated. "I thought I'd never find you Tavi! I decked that guy keeping you prisoner! Hang on! We're outta here!"

It was the one voice she never expected to hear. Never wanted to hear. "Vinyl?! Vinyl stop!" Octavia pleaded as she was being pulled helplessly through the air by the unicorn. "Listen to me! Please!"

Even in the best of situations, Vinyl Scratch was not known as being a good listener. "It's cool Tavi! I've got it all planned! We'll hop a train and make a run for the Crystal Empire! I hear Cadance doesn't allow slavery or humans there!"

"Vinyl, you don't know what you are doing!" Octavia yelled.

"Sure I do! They'll never catch us!"
>>
>>25565804
she says just before getting caught
>>
part six

"I can't believe they caught us. Let us out of here ya screws! Man my butt hurts."

"A branding iron will do that," Octavia replied. They were together, only now it was in a small holding cell. "I tried to warn you if you had only listened. Any pony trying to help a slave escape forfeits her own freedom."

Vinyl still wasn't listening. She was staring at the door and straining. "If I could get my horn working. What the heck did they do to it?"

"They numbed it Vinyl," Tavi explained. "It's a treatment given to all unicorn slaves. Until the antidote is applied, your horn is useless. They do something simular to pegasi, except it slows their wings to the point they can't fly anymore."

"How do you know all this?"

"I read, Vinyl. Something other than Canterlot gossip magazines. You know, I had everything under control. It wasn't ideal, but it was working. Now my owner is going to be furious. He'll think I tried to escape." The cell door suddenly opened.

>I might have, except I recovered fast enough to see you weren't going willingly. Come on. I've got everything straightened out.

Octavia and Vinyl exchanged a wordless last look, then the cell was shut again. Vinyl would be sold and Octavia knew they would never see each other again. Serves her right, Octavia thought to herself. All of this was her fault. "Keep walking," she murmured to herself. "Don't do it. Don't do it. You'll regret it so much. Don't... aw blast. Sir? Master? I understand you have every right to say no, but may I please beg you for a big favor?"
>>
>>25565957
How much time has passed? there's no way she would have made enough to buy vinyl.
>>
Recovery
http://pastebin.com/DNvbjnQG

>“I think i've never felt so good before. You're really the best, you know that?“ she says after finishing the cookie
„Well, thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying.“
>“But i really mean it. Like THE best. I can't imagine what would happen if you weren't here for me. Can i give you a hug?“
„Of course-“
>before you could finish, she has already her hooves wrapped around you
>feels good man
>you put your right hand on her back and with your left hand, you slowly start to fondle her mane
>she lets out a pleasured moan
>nice
>afted minute or two, you still continue and it seems like that if you'd take advantage of this situation, she probably wouldn't even have will to resist
>but on the other hand, you kinda feel that you shouldn't
>she should be at least sober
>laying there in your arms like this, she's so vulnerable
>if it was just another drunk girl at some stupid party, you probably wouldn't think for too long, having a chance like this. You're no white knight, but this is just different
>and right now, you might just be too high for fug anyway
>you can leave that to some other time
>at this time, slightly lewd cuddles are more than enough
>while fondling, you're examining her every detail
>her fur is so incredibly soft, like rabbit but shorter
>her whole body so well formed, just in the right proportions
>and her mane, oh man how pleasant is it to bury your hand into her beige-blonde hair
>your right hand slowly continues down her hip once and then up again
>strong and firm
>then you continue with the very same hand to her ear, scratching slowly behind it
>with eyes already closed for some time, her brows go even lower from the pleasure and she stretches her neck to the direction of your hand as if she can't get enough
>“Mmmmm. Anon, this is wonderful...“
>you'd just very much like to kiss her at least, so you give her a soft, small kiss on her lips
>in all the extasy, she probably barely felt it
>>
Octavia Enslaved - part seven


>I want you girls to understand I really did not need two slave ponies. Especially one that kicked me in the stomach.

"I was aiming lower," the unicorn muttered.

"Vinyl!" Octavia hissed. "We understand sir and I assure you Vinyl is very grateful and will cooperate. Right?"

"What? Yeah. What she said, boss. It's all good."

"With two ponies we can pull much bigger loads," Octavia continued. "Or maybe two wagons. I promise you won't regret this."

>I suppose. Maybe in the future. Right now every extra bit I had was just spent and we're back to square one. We are going to be together a long time.

Octavia already knew it, but it was still difficult to hear. There would be no freedom in two years. Between the two of them, maybe ten if they were lucky.

"Hey Tavi? Thanks. But why? I screwed everything up for you."

Octavia managed a small but sincere smile. "Because you are my friend. My stupid stupid friend, but somehow still a friend. But if you do anything else I'll break off your horn and make you eat it bite by crunchy bite!"

"Got it," Vinyl replied. "I really do get it. I won't mess this up. And hey, it won't be so bad. I can learn this wagon pulling bit. Plus we're together. We'll be awesome wagon ponies."

"Yes, together. Every day. For years with no break or escape. Oh what have I done?"

END
>>
>>25566032

No she couldn't. That's why she had to talk her owner into doing it.
>>
>>25566320
Not bad. a little more development for the slave owner would have been nice.
>>
>>25565954

Exactly. If this had been television, it would have been a quick jump cut.
>>
JESSI!!!!!
>>
>>25559486

that's the worst that could happen? Big Mac was married to the sister of Maud before the invasion?

by the way, you're doing a great job with this story, all those who are writing different stories so far, keep it up and enjoy what they do, hence the inspiration
>>
>>25565442
you need a name, a pseudonym to avoid confusion in the future anon, how "No Anon" or whatever
>>
>>25565442
I wonder if ponislave how Otavia can sell his master one free Pony, or at least to take his place : )
>>
>>25567493
wut?
>>
>>25565957
>"Sure I do! They'll never catch us!"

>"I can't believe they caught us. Let us out of here ya screws! Man my butt hurts."

my sides XD
>>
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>>25567576
>XD
>>
>>25557292
>The morning alarm hits you like a door being slammed in your face.
>You reach your arm out to turn it off.
>The rain can still be heard outside, albeit it's light.
>You sit up in your bed and rub your eyes.
>It's pretty early even for you.
>Getting up out of the bed, you decide to get some breakfast before doing your daily morning routine.
>Never hurts to mix things up a little.
>walking through the living room, you see Rainbow Dash still on the couch asleep.
>Continuing into the kitchen, you decide to make something quick.
>A bowl of cereal will do.
>After eating, you wash out in the bowl and make your way back to your room.
>Upon re-entering the living room, you see that someone is starting to stir.
>You stand there for a moment to let her wake up a little.
>She sits up and starts rubbing her eyes.
"Morning, Rainbow."
>"Ermmm....morning."
"I'll go make you something for breakfast."
>You head back into the kitchen and decide to make oatmeal for her.
>Well, it's instant but it's something.
>After heating it up, you put a napkin underneath the bowl and carry it.
>Somehow the bowl is always hotter than it's contents.
>You'll never figure it out.
>>
>>25567803
>Coming back to the living room, you sit the warm oatmeal on the table in front of Rainbow.
"It's still a tad bit hot, so be careful."
>"Thanks..."
>Looks like it'll take a bit for her to really wake up.
>She picks up the bowl and proceeds to blow on the oatmeal and eat it right out of the bowl.
>It's slightly adorable how she eats.
>Upon finishing her breakfast she proceeds to look at you.
>You chuckle slightly.
>"What?"
"You got oatmeal stuck on your face."
>Grabbing the napkin off the table, you move to wipe Rainbow's mouth off.
>She slightly turns red at the motion.
>"O-oh thanks, I guess."
"Anytime. Let me take that back for you."
>You take the bowl back to the kitchen and wash it out as well.
>Upon returning to the living room you peek out the window.
>Since the rain hasn't let up any, it looks like a complete wet mess outside.
>Thankfully no severe flooding has happened yet.
*sigh*"I wish it wasn't so terrible out."
>Time to check the weather.
>You sit down beside Rainbow and proceed to turn on the T.V.
"Let's see what the weather says about the rain."
>Turning it to the weather channel, the detailed forcast is shown.
>Looks like the forecast got updated.
"Hey, it says the rain should end by tonight."
>>
>>25567819
>It brought your spirits up a little.
>One less day of rain is okay in your books.
>"Cool, the rain was actually starting to irritate me."
"Well, we won't have to deal with it much longer."
>"Oh yeah, I need to take a proper shower."
"Oh?"
>"Yesterday you were still asleep and I didn't want to wake you. So I just washed my hair carefully."
>She hasn't realized it yet.
>"Now since you're up, I need you to take this off so I-"
>She freezes when her hoof touches only her neck.
>Confused, she moves her hoof up and down her neck to feel for the collar.
>"H-huh?"
"Oh, you're wondering about that?"
>Her eyes get slightly wider.
"Last night after you fell asleep, I took it off. Didn't feel like it was necessary anymore."
>At this point she doesn't know what to do with herself.
>Confused and speechless are what you make of it.
>You put a hand on her head.
"I feel like I can trust you now."
>Her face gets slightly red, eyes darting trying not to look directly at you.
>"Ummm...I-I..Th-Than.."
>You know what's shes trying to say.
"Your welcome. Rainbow."
>You move in to give her a hug.
>She still sat there tensed up for a moment.
>Her wings however slightly extended upon you hugging her.
>After it fully registers, her hooves are wrapped around.

And end of update. Don't know if I made any grammatical errors typing, I'm just too tired to proofread.
>>
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>>25567576
>>
>>25567852
Good as always rainbro Neutral. i havnt checked your grammar yet, because lolno, so I don't have any real complaints. i don't think its moving too slow, but thats just me wanting to keep it going
>>
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>>25567459

Okay, if I need a name, I'll be Coffee Anon.
>>
http://pastebin.com/ZmQHUCRc
Shall I continue, or just shelf it a while to pursue other shitty dreams?
>>
>>25568407
go on golden cock
>>
>>25567852
I'm feelin' it, Mister Krabs
>>
>>25568407
don't let your dreams be dreams
>>25567852
Nice, anon.
gave me a little feel
>>
Jessi Bumperino
>>
>>25568407
Hey, you not using that anon with split personalities? Cause I would like it.
>>
Suggestion:

Let the thread die for now and let content-creators build up updates before that one anon makes a new thread. It's a bit of a holiday situation still and things are winding down. People are gonna be busy.
>>
>>25570903
>>25568862
>>25568441
>>25567461
>>25566806
>what is constructive bumping

Hermann, kindly stop bumping the thread. That or provide some content when you bump.
>>
>>25571783
>Namefag telling another namefag to stop being obnoxious

This is surreal.
>>
>>25571805
What's wrong with being identifiable?
Not all people who use the names are complete fags
>>
>>25571867
If you're going to feed the namefag haters while they're still in their cribs, at least make sure there's some poison in the food.
>>
>>25571867
>Not all people who use the names are complete fags

wew lad.

You haven't been paying much attention there almost all attention whoring condescending niggers in leagues more than the standard anon. Considering that you also tried to get a fucking IRC up for a general your heading down the same path.
>>
>what is #pftg
>>
>>25571904
>>25571929
Also
The IRC wasn't my idea, I just liked it
>>
>>25571867
>What's wrong with being identifiable?
There's nothing wrong with it on literally 99% of the internet forums ya know that ones that require a user name and log on information, however this an anonymous image board people come here to post anonymously in their various activities except in circumstances where it is necessary or makes things easier. Take a look at your previous posts did having a name attached to it serve any purpose than feed your ego? Namfagging shows a general ignorance of the sites culture (thus being a newfag which is already a stigma) as pretty much every board dislikes unnecessary namefags and anyone who's been here for more than a week could clearly see that ( see the herman guy). It also can show disregard for board culture in attempt to piss people off or 'troll' them while building a stupid rep for themselves as a 'famous/hated tripfag' (see that other guy with the meme name around here)

TL;DR: This is anonymous site with a anonymous culture if you can help it post anonymously otherwise go to the hundreds of thousands of namefag centered forums out there.

>>25571942
Take it from someone who has seen the rise and fall of the AiE and Flutterrape skype groups off site chat areas for generals NEVER work out. It will very rapidly become filled with people who don't write and just sit there and circlejerk all day moving farther and farther from its original purpose topic wise OR it will become devoid of population and disappear into the void
>>
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>>25571867
>What's wrong with being identifiable?
People don't like attention whores unless you have tits and show them.

Do you have them and will you show them?
>>
>>25561070
Personally I think the pace is fine its just anon's character I don't really understand. Maybe people like him really do exist (I always thought that people here and r9k were exaggerating quite a bit to fit the lel autism meme), but the character feels a bit too uh, extreme and memey to fit in a what I presume to be a serious feelsy story. Maaayybe tone it down a bit?

>>25566320
This was... interesting? Not much feels wise or world building wise, only a little bit in terms of character building for like one character, uhhhh there was a funny moment.


To be honest this seemed kind of boring and lacking in well any juicy story bits. Almost as though it was a prompt or set up for a story rather then an actual complete story.

Can't say I liked it sorry.

>>25567852
Need more Rainbow she's cute when surprised/flustered.

>>25568407
>>25565702

As the person who gave that long ass critique last time you posted. Revise the story, but please to do not give up. The only reason people critize or mock something is because they want to see it improve or change if it was truly truly terrible people would just remain silent or flat out tell you to shut the fuck up.

I want to more stories with an actual slave owner anon who isn't a white knight. Your just inexperienced not bad. Continue.
>>
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>>25571867
Confirmed for huge faggot.
>>
>>25566272
Shit man I missed you there

For the sake of your story use a name or at least post in longer updates so people can actually see your updates

As for the story I like where this is going.... and by that I mean anon should fuck the pony, while high so it isn't as much as taking advantage of her,
>>
>>25571217
I didn't really like how it was going.
>>
>>25572124
Yeah, guess it's better I release a rough, semi-awkward green or two if it gets me much-needed experience writefagging.
>>
>>25572057
I don't think he's going to show them.
>>
what the fuck jessi
>>
>>25572337
I wish i could write faster, but i don't always find enough time when i'm in the right mindset for writing.
And about that high fucking, it's just that i like to prolong things like that. You know, first sexual intercourse in greentext is kinda like a cherry on the top of a cake, that you eat the last. You are really looking forward to it, but when you actualy get to it, it is after you ate the whole cake and you wish you had some more.
Not that it won't continue the green after the sex scene, but i enjoy writing about that expectation before it actualy happens.
But i guess that when it happens, it will include weed again. Drugged sex is the best sex.
>>
>>25566272

>but she did, even if she most likely didn't realise what exactly it was
>she moved her lips slightly upwards and licked her upper lip, where you kissed her
>„Anon, i think, i think i'm gonna...gonna melt here. Like literally melt. It feels good, but just a few minutes more and I'm gonna fall asleep and wake up like a puddle.“
>she opens her eyes only to close them again because of the sudden brightness around
>in her second try, she opens them only a little so she can see
>her pupils are so wide, that her blue irises are barely visible
>„I don't wanna fall asleep...“
>very slowly, she lets go of you and tries to stand up
>looking at her, she's having a bit of trouble with coordination, so you help her up
>she just interrupted that perfect moment you two had, but how could you blame her?
>you remember times when even a normal weed like this fucked you up so hard
>the good old times
>“My head...I really need to move. Just walk somewhere or somethin'. Or I'm gonna pass out.“
>you stand up and it hits you as well
>that second wave of high, always coming when you stand up
>made you a bit dizzy as well
>“I'm just gonna take a walk around here...Could you...go with me please? I just don't wanna go alone.“
„Course i will. I think i could use some walking as well.“
>“But where?“
„Come with me. We can leave the blanket here. No one will steal it here.“
>“Do you think someone would just take it if it isn't his?“
>you chuckle
„This isn't Equestria you know.“
>stuffing the bottle of water, cookies and fruit into your pockets, you look around
>you have no idea how long you've been laying here, it could have been something about 10 minutes or a whole hour
>you think about looking at your watch, but you don't
>time is now just a nuisance
>only thing that you should know now is that it's still the same beatiful day and the sun is still far from setting

Wanted to write some more today, but i gotta go now, friend is coming over
>>

>>
Got an outline written up for the next chunk of green. Hopefully I'll have time to flesh it out today, though I find myself wondering when Anon became the villain. Then I remember that he always has been.
>>
>>25581691
>>
>>25582522

Any anon in this thread that isn't some white knight of epic proportions is going to be a villain. Its the nature of the topic.
>>
>>25584221
>>25581691
>>25579849
>>25577755

Hermann, this thread has been bumped to hell and back. Staph.
Or actually contribute.
Or be less of a dick.
Pick one.
>>
>>25584394
maybe i will do a story later
>>
>>25582522
Will be waiting.
>>
anal rape
>>
>>25583452
and if the anon in history begins as a villain and ends becoming a good person?


or vice versa
>>
>>25585374
>>25586553
Now you just need to who, when, where and why and you got yourself a story.
>>
>>25566272
About time.
>>
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>>25571942
>The IRC wasn't my idea, I just liked it
>I just liked it
>IRC
>>
>>25566320
Not used to the format but it was good
>>
>No.
>It was time for things to change.
>Picking up Scootaloo, much to her protests and struggling you headed out the door.
>”Put me down you weirdo!”
“Nope, not happening.”
>"I swear if you try anything weird i'll... i'll bite you!"
>Holding the still flailing pony you locked your front door.
"And I'll bite back."
>"You wouldn't?"
>Kek, she almost sounded unsure of herself there.
"Well you could try and see what happens."
>"You'd like that wouldn't you?"
"No, not really who knows where your mouth has been."
>"No fair,I brush my teeth as often as I can!"
>Note to self: Buy her a toothbrush.
>You lived in a decent neighborhood, so all the good stores weren't too far away.
>Papa Anon didn’t raise no fool, at least when it came to assessing a property.
>As you continued the walk to the local store you held the filly under your arm.
>”Can you please put me down now?”
“Are you going to try to run away?”
>Craning your head you looked Scootaloo in the eye.
>Her pokerface sucked, not to worry we’ll work on that.
>”You’re taking me back to where you found me, aren’t you?”
>You barely heard her whisper.
>Stopping and bringing her up so you could see her face you stared deeply into her eyes.
>>
>>25589905
“What makes you think that?”
>”It would make sense, where else would you take me?”
“Nope, were going to get some new stuff for the house. You’re going to need a bed and all that stuff if you're going to be staying with me.”
“And groceries, let’s not forget the groceries.”
>Still holding the filly you raised your arms and placed her on top of your head.
>You had a scootaloo hat.
“How’s the view up there?”
>”…”
>Silent treatment huh?
>”Thank you.”
>Right in the feels.
>>
>>25589921

>Unlike the part of town where you found Scootaloo, the area where your modest home was located was pretty nice.
>And as you walked down the street several people gave you odd looks.
>It wasn't surprising really.
>You did have a small orange filly set atop your head.
"So I was thinking"
>"Don't hurt yourself there."
"Hardy har har, I'll take my stuff out of the storage room and make it into a bedroom for you."
"Were going to need to get you a bed and other stuff. At least we don't have to worry about clothes."
>"I knew it, you just want to see me naked."
"You're naked anyway."
>"And you're still a weirdo."
>Damn snarky horse.
"After that, we'll go grocery shopping."
>"You know how to cook?"
"Well since I lived by myself I sorta had to learn."
>"I always got told that men were just weirdos that lived in basements and ordered their food."
>What the hell were they teaching these ponies on that farm?
"Yeah anyway, we'll get the groceries after the furniture and the rest we'll play by ear."
>With somewhat of a plan together you continued your trek with Scootaloo sitting on your head.
>"Can we get some ice cream?"
>Ice cream? Wasn't it a bit chilly for ice cream.
"Isn't it a bit cold out for that?"
>"I don't even remember the last time I had any."
>Just the tone in that small statement almost ko'd your damn heart.
>Fucking cute little pone.
"Alright fine, we'll get some ice cream. But if you get sick don't come crying to me."
>"Okay!"
>Whipping out your phone you looked up if there were any ice cream places around.
>From the looks of it there was a small hole in the wall place not even two blocks away.
>With a new destination you set off once again.
>>
>>25589933
>Fact is humans are stupid.
>So here you are with a tiny filly atop your head in an ice cream parlor in the middle of the winter season.
>And the place is packed.
>Besides a young horse, who the fuck would think its a good idea to eat ice cream now?
>Walking over to the counter you eyed the different flavors being sold.
"So which one do you want?"
>"Hmmmm , Oh! How about a strawberry cone? No! A chocolate shake would be delicious."
>And like that Scootaloo devolved into going through and listing the flavors she wanted to try.
>Which was really every flavor behind the glass screen.
>You felt her keep inching forward on top of your head until she was precariously close to falling over.
>Her curiosity of the various ice cream flavors would be her undoing.
>Then with a single 'eep' she tumbled forward.
>You were ready for this.
>Catching the filly you let out a laugh.
"Alright, how about we decide what we want without having to visit the hospital today okay."
>"I meant to do that."
>Why don't I believe you.
"So decision time, what are you getting?"
>"Chocolate shake!"
>She emphasized her decision while raising a small hoof in the air in victory.
>Looking around you didn't see anybody actually attending the counter.
>Da fuq?
"Hello? Anybody here?"
>"Down here...sir."
>Glancing down you saw a pony head that barely rose above the counters level.
>"What can I get you today?"
>With the icy tone and glare directed straight at you you almost recoiled.
>Why did you get a sudden feeling this pony didn't like you one bit.
"We'll have one chocolate shake and a strawberry cone please."
>"It'll be one moment."
>The cream colored mare trotted over and began making yours and Scootaloos treats.
>"Anon?"
"What's up Scootaloo?"
>"I don't think she likes you very much."
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
>You tried saying that last part with as little sarcasm as you could muster.
>>
>>25589950
>"Sir let me apologize again about Bon-Bon, she's normally not this hostile with customers."
>Nodding slowly you tried calming down your frantic breathing.
>"I'm sure she didn't mean to throw that knife at you."
>From behind the counter you definitely heard.
>"Horsefeathers, he got lucky I missed!"
>Fucking homicidal horse.
>The lady standing in front of you gave a small embarrassed laugh.
>"So please the ice cream is on the house today."
"Yeah, thanks."
>So let's recap what happened here.
>While waiting patiently for some delightful little treats, Scootaloo made a remark about the mare who's name you learned was Bon-Bon.
>She said the said mare had a particularly large backside.
>Being the responsible adult in this situation you tried telling her that she should say that about humans or mares as it was very rude.
>Score one for Anon being a good role model.
>But your luck ran out a long time ago I'm afraid.
>The mare in question must have heard you're mutterings and insinuated that you were calling her bottom end fat.
>It was, in a nice way. But that's beside the point.
>Almost as if you had spider senses you turned just in time to see a very sharp knife flying at your head.
>Luckily one of the shopkeepers managed to come out and restrain the homicidal mare before she could get her hooves on you.
>So yeah, back to the present.
>"Maybe next time we should go to a bakery?"
"That sounds like a safe option."
>"I'm still saying she had a large flanks."
>Damn you little horse.
>>
>>25589967
>Okay Anon don't freak out.
"Scootaloo, please come out this isn't funny anymore."
>Maybe freaking out a little is the right course of action.
>After the little side quest of getting some icy treats you ended up in a furniture store.
>Mostly to get some things which would adorn Scootaloo's new room.
>On the list was a bed, dresser, nightstand.
>Everything else you would order online.
>When you got in the store and asked a clerk for some help it all went wrong.
>Scootaloo vanished.
>Holy shit! What if she was kidnapped?
>Or would it be foal napped in this situation?
>Shit this is not the time to figure out proper wording.
>With your thoughts going a mile a minute you raced to the customer service area.
>Maybe they could help.


-----------
http://pastebin.com/8CST2NS4
>>
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>>25589921
>>You had a scootaloo hat.
I need that in my life....My feels hurt now
>Damn snarky horse.
love me some snarky horse
>>25589967
why is this horse so damn homicidal
>>25589980
SCOOTS OH NO


anyway, pacing isnt that bad, maybe slow it down a bit, add in a bit more details
>>
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>>25589980
Yes, this pleases me.
>>
Finally got the first part of that fugitive slave story, I talked about a couple threads back.

>"Bill go right! Jim, check the marshes! Joe take the mutts, see if they can find their scent!"
>The men do as they're told as they split up going off in different directions
>The flame of a small lighter could be seen out of the darkness of the night as the man commanding the group lights a cigar
>"Out of the entire week, it had to be a Sunday."
>Groaning he pulls on his beard wondering his next set of actions
>If what they told him was true, then this wouldn't be the usual cat and mouse game most slaves put up
>Unslinging his rifle, he loads another dart and cocks it
>Soon all the hunters were marching into the endless wilderness
>It was a particularly cold night
>Fall was coming to an end as Jack Frost was beginning to make his presence known
>Quivering rays of light pierce the never ending darkness
>Looking high and low for any signs of their target
>Soon the sounds of barking dogs fill the air as they chase an unseen creature
>Hearing their discovery the rest of the men rush towards them
>"Come on! Find dem bitches! Find dem!"
>Without hesitation the dogs pounce, a shriek is heard as they begin to sink their teeth within the creature
>"Joe get out of the way!"
>Spitting out the cigar butt, the leader of the three pushes in front of them to see the catch
>He whistles, causing the dogs to trot gleefully towards him
>Sitting up straight, one of them opens their mouth
>A heavily mangled squirrel falls out
>No one says anything as the leader picks up the creature
>Examining it, he grabs a violet cream bowtie wrapped around its neck
>Bringing it to his nose, he takes a quick whiff
>"Chocolate........"
>"Ah sir?"
>He taps his boss on the shoulder
>"Bill, we're going back to Smith's."
>He turns to face Bill
>"That girl just played us for fools!"
>>
>>25590983
>After some more arguing the men scramble back
>Unbeknownst their bickering retreat, a pair of sky blue eyes stares at them from a far
>"Are they gone yet? I-is it safe?"
>An orange filly with a purple mane asks, nudging the cream color pony in front of her for a response
"Not yet Scootaloo, go back to the others."
>She nudges the filly away
>Scootaloo sighs disappointed
>Sliding back down into the muddy ditch
>She enters a hallowed out tree where the others have taken refuge
>Looking back, the cream pony takes another gander of the area around her
>Nothing but the ambient light of Luna's midnight sun
>Satisfied with the result she returns to the others
"Is everyone alright?"
>The four of them look at one another
>"Coco's a bit bruised, Scootaloo seems fine and I don't think Fluttershy can carry that belly of hers any longer-"
>A mint pony says pointing behind her
>Scootaloo and Coco both try to comfort a visibly distressed Fluttershy as she rubs her heavily pregnant belly
>"-but besides the mud and coldness, I think everyone's here!"
>"Not everyone...."
>Coco speaks up
>Getting up, she slowly limps towards the other two
>”Coco, don’t-”
>Fluttershy begs
>"YOU LEFT THEM!"
>"Coco, pipe down!"
>The mint pony tries to calm her
>"No Lyra! She used her as bait!"
>The cream pony says nothing
>Lyra backs off giving her some space
>"How could you Bonbon, you promised all of us you'll get us out, not just Lyra and Fluttershy!"
>Coco begins to tear up
>"If not for Octavia, were you going to lie to me and use me as bait!"
>.....................
>"Huh! What about the others! What lies did you tell them to execute your master plan?"
>.....................
>"Huh!"
>No one said a word
>>
>>25591006
"Its Sweetie-my name is… Sweetie Drops......."
>"What?”
>Coco cocks her head confused
"No more lies."
>Bon-Bon takes in a deep breath
"It was mission priority to free the element of Harmony at all cost, I-I..."
>Coco takes a step back
>"You're not making any sense."
>Bonbon looks down
"-I wanted to, I-I really did but with Fluttershy's current condition I had to make... some tactical-sacrifices....."
>Coco just stares at her as do Fluttershy and Scootaloo
>"She's a secret agent."
>Lyra says blatantly
"Oh for Celestia's sake Lyra, subtlety much?"
>Bon-Bon cries out
>"I couldn't help it, the tension was killing me."
>She says shrugging
>Rolling her eyes Bon-Bon turns back to Coco
>”Wh-wha……”
>Before Bonbon could respond Lyra interrupts her again
>"And Im a secret agent too-
"Lyra, you are not-"
>"Shhhhhhhhh!"
>"Just go with it....."
>She whispers to Bonbon, giving her a playful wink
>”You two are secret Agents?”
>Scootaloo says approaching the girls
>"Yeah! How do you think we managed to escape that testing facility? We had double spy power! Just ask Fluttershy herself!"
>The attention diverts back to the pregnant mare.
>"Um.....I don't think I have any say in this matter."
>She begins to blush in embarrassment, trying to cover up her belly
>Bon-Bon sighs
>>
>>25591015
>Grabbing Coco, she turns her around
"Coco, I don't care if you hate me after today's events but you have to trust me."
>"But-"
"No 'buts' Coco, if you want to get out of this alive and not go back being a slave, then you have to listen to me from this moment on! And this goes for the rest of you too."
>She finishes sharply, letting go of Coco causing her to stumble
"Especially you Lyra."
>"What did I do!?!"
>She says in sarcastic distress
>"I don't believe you."
>Coco says getting up with Scootaloo’s help
"You don't have to believe me, you only have to listen."
>The two lock eyes for a moment before Coco backs down choosing to return to Fluttershy
>Scootaloo looks at Bonbon and Lyra before joining the other two
"Good, nice to see some actual obedience for once."
>Bon-Bon turns back
>Climbing the ditch once more she pops her head out
>She looks over their surrounding area once more
>It seemed clear
>But unless they begin to move now, they’ll never loose their trail
*Sigh* “Its going to be one of those nights, isn’t it?”
>>
>>25591034
-Somewhere else-
>"Master your 8 o'clock coffee."
> A light blue mare with a periwinkle mane and a pigment blue streak says as she places the cup on his desk
>"Ah, Minnie always on time."
>The man puts down the documents he was reading and takes a sip
> Before he could say anything else the door suddenly opens as a hesitant bearded man enters
"Officer Smith!"
>"Well there goes one quiet evening...."
>He places his cup down as the man stops right in front of his desk
>"Excuse me mister, no one's allowed in Master Smith's office withou-"
>"Now now, Minnie I can handle this."
>He says patting her head.
>"What is it now Anon? Did one of the pegasi get stuck in the barbed wire again? ”
"CODE VIOLET!"
>Smith just stares at the man
>Grabbing his cup, he takes another sip
>"Master, what's 'code violet' ?
> Minnie asks
>"Could you leave me and Mister Anonymous alone for a bit, this is an urgent matter."
>"Of course Master!"
>And with that she makes her way out the room closing the door shut
>Smith pinches the top of his nose
>"How many lost?"
"10 deaths, 5 of them escaped."
>"From which groups?"
"They targeted all three labs; mobs from each overwhelmed the guards."
>" Do you have the numbers of those who escaped?”
>Smith says bitterly
"E-22, P-07, P-24, U-69 and a newly arrived-"
>"Newly arrived?"
>>
>>25591052
>He curiously asks
>Anon hands him a folder
>Taking it, Smith examines the cover
>What seemed to be the remains of a classified stamp was blotted out by thick marker ink
>He opens it and finds a similar mess inside, though there seemed to be some freshly printed documents
>"E-69. Earth pony with a cream coat, sky blue eyes, a two lined mane; navy blue and pink; and the typical equal sign for an ass mark......."
>He looks at Anon with a disheartening face
>Anon could only chuckle haphazardly
>"Choosing the name 'Bonbon’; originally captured roaming around Fort Tilden; later deemed suitable for the program after given a routine stem test. She was later transferred multiple times after showing ‘unusual feats of ingenuity in escaping’....."
"Sir I can explain-"
>Smith raises his hand cutting Anon short
>"From sharpened toothbrushes, bent metal key openers, and stolen or used tranquilizer darts; to multiple attempts at seducing facility staff, creating homemade tear gas and what seemed to be a makeshift fertilizer bomb......"
"Or maybe not."
>"It's highly recommended to keep E-69 under high surveillance with little contact from the outside world."
>Anon gulps
>"Looks like we got a real special one, now do we Anon?"
>He slams the folder on his desk
>"What are the current conditions of the other four?"
"Well P-24 is heavily pregnant with her first foal, P-07 is still to young to be tested so she's still clean, while E-22 has already been implanted with a different mix of seeds. U-69 on the other hand is classified."
>Smith grabs his cup and takes another sip
>"And why only till now was I kept in the dark about this E-69 subject?"
"I'm not sure sir, the folder was just hand delivered to the facility when I arrived."
>"Mmmmmm..."
>He looks over the documents once more
>>
>>25591074
>" And how were the attempts to retrieve them?
>Smith asks nonchalantly
"Failure so far, we lost them in the wilderness. O-one of them somehow used a squirrel to trick the bloodhounds by wrapping a bow tie around the squirrel’s neck trailing their scent."
>Smith continued to look down
>"Causing a riot to keep security busy and a squirrel to avoid pure bred bloodhounds-"
"Though we did find one unconscious with a gash in her head just a couple feet from the fence."
>Anon interjects
>"-Also knows how to bait.....truly an unusual feat of ingenuity, would you agree Anon?
>He looks up cocking his brow
>Anon begins to sweat
"Of course sir! First in my entire life!"
>Smith looks down at the papers again
>"Well it looks like I’m going to have to speak with my superiors about this...."
>He begins to get up, collecting all of his papers with him
>"When's the earliest you can renew your search efforts?"
"We recently got more men combing the east side of the wilderness, but we've been getting reports that a-a snow storm was destined for land fall this morning so we're going to hold out until its done."
>Smith's face soured
>>
>>25591089
>"Real sloppy work Anon, just be glad your reputation as a handler continues to shield you from the pink slip."
>Having what he needs, he heads towards the door
>"When the storm settles I want your men searching every nook and cranny of this area until bodies are found."
>He opens the door
>"Is everything clear?"
>Anon hesitates for a moment
"Y-yes sir!"
>"Now would you please....?
>He gestures towards the door
"..................Oh!"
>Anon gets up and quickly empty's out the room
>"Good."
>Smith closes the door behind him, locking it
>"Is everything okay Master?"
> Minnie asks, standing over her empty bowl of food
>"Everything’s fine Minnie-"
>"Everything's just fine.............."

That'll be all for tonight, any feedback would be great.

What should I title this?
>>
>>25591111
pacing is fine
I'm not much of a grammar nazi, so thats fine
I'm interested to see where this leads, but its somewhat early for me to tell for sure whether I like it or not
>>
>>25566320
That was great, have anymore ideas for stories?
>>
>>25591641
I'm working with one.
>>
>>25591111
So, it's a little confusing exactly who's speaking in some of the scenes. I had to re-read both sections to figure out exactly how the dialogue flowed.

Catch is, I'm not exactly sure why this is. You've already done everything I'd normally recommend - put lines in between each bit of dialogue indicating who's speaking, properly used green/non-green text to indicate who's perspective it is, etc. I'll chalk it up to the inevitable difficulties of running a scene with multiple participants - and possible me being so unused to reading more normal prose on this sight my brain didn't connect.

One minor recommendation I would make is to try and change up your sentences indicating who's talking, not using 'says' as much as you can. You're already doing it in some places; things like:
>Coco begins to tear up
is good; see if you can keep up that inventive streak and cut out using 'says' as much as possible.

Overall? Very interested. Will definitely be watching.
>>
Bump before bed.
>>
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>>25589980
Anon and his cutaloo is always welcome
also
>a worm little pony as a hat
That was i think the first time I have been envious of the bald.
>>
>>25565702

>A while passes as you watch the news.
>It's typical stuff going on around the world:
>That revolt of pony slaves in Kansas and Nebraska was finally put down.
>The UN was bickering about stuff.
>Some of the last of the Equestrian Royal Guard was killed or captured in an allied raid on their hideout.
>And the price of gas went down from the $5 a gallon it was, barely.
>Fluttershy enters the room during a commercial break, took her long enough.
>She keeps her distance, though, she's still wary of you.
>She doesn't seem like the type to walk up and start a conversation, the pony probably has something to ask you.
>You ask her first.
"What's up? Do you need something?"
>You turn the TV off and look over at her.
>She stands nervously, eyes trained down at her hooves.
>"Well, uh, do you have any food that I could eat, i-if that's okay?"
>The mare looks up at you inquisitively.
>She must still be scared that breakfast today will be a repeat of last night.
>You smile warmly, you make sure she recognizes it as genuine.
"Yeah, actually. I was gonna make breakfast in a bit; gotta see what I have, but there'll be something,"
>It's met with a quiet "Thank you"
>>
>>25595455
A good hardy breakfast of bacon, eggs, and biscuits in sausage gravy
>>
>>25595455

>Reach the kitchen, Flutter trailing behind you.
>Gesturing to a bag of bagels, you ask:
"You like bagels?"
>She can only barely see them over the counter.
>"Oh, I've never had one before, but I'm sure they're good,"
>Okay, let's see what else you have.
>You search the cupboards; they're never well-stocked, but you actually manage to find an unopened box of cereal off to the side.
>You hold it out to her.
"Looks like I've got some cereal, if you'd rather have that,"
>She examines the minimalistic store-brand box.
>"This also looks good, though,"
>You point towards a bowl over on the other side of the room as the pony puts the cereal box on the counter.
>"There's some fruit over there, if you'd rather have that,"
>"Fruit sounds good, too,"
>She keeps this up as you offer you think she could eat.
>You'll have to make her choose.
"Alright, but which one do you want?"
>She examines everything you've set aside.
>You can't like everything, now can you?
>"Um, well, uh, I kind of might actually like... Nevermind, nevermind,"
>pone_refuses_to_form_opinions_about_breakfast_and_it's_getting_slightly_irritating.jpg
>You decide to help her along.
"If you can't tell me what you want, at least tell me what you think you want,"
>She should be able to recognize the impatience in your voice.
>She contemplates this for a second.
>"O-okay, I was kind of thinking that I'd like like some cereal, but a bagel sounds interesting,"
>You grab the cereal box as she is talking and pour her a bowl.
>"U-uh I was kind of thinking I-"
"Do you like your cereal with milk?"
>"Might have possibly wanted a bagel,"
>You open the fridge and grab the milk jug.
"You couldn't make up your mind, so I decided for you. Now let me ask again, do you prefer cereal with milk?"
>Kind of harsh, but you do legally own her, as a slave, at that.
>She's lucky you gave her a choice at all.
>>
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>Her dere Master.
>You done wit dat job thing you do every day?
>Dats cool.
>Hey listen, I was wonderin when we were gonna get down ta business.
>You know, you could rape me a little.
>I mean, you've owned me for like a month and you ain't done nothin to me yet.
>You could hit me and pull my hair and stuff like that.
>C'mon, don't make dat face.
>I'm a grade A piece o flank ova here and you ain't done nothin yet!
>So get ova here and cornhole me or somethin!
>HEY!
>WHERE YOU GOIN?
>GET BACK HERE AND MAKE ME A MARE DAMN IT!
>I ain't never gettin laid.
>>
>>25595603
My erection is moving on its own
>>
>>25595603
Plot twist: it's a stallion
>>
>>25555515

"...and I think that covers our next major step for the second site. Everyone knows what they need to get done before our meeting Thursday?"
> "Yes."
> "Absolutely."
> "Got it."
"Excellent. Twilight, anything to add?"
> "No, I think that covers it, sir!"
"Then I'll see you all in the office tomorrow."
> One by one the video chats go black, leaving the room silent.
> Beside you, Twilight rises from her seat and stretches heavily - several vertebra popping appreciatively.
> Chuckling softly, you rise and try to get your own blood moving again.
"I told you meetings suck, Twilight. Teleconference or not."
> "I know."
> She shoots a grin up at you, eyes twinkling.
> "Still, if they're still going to make a fuss about me being around the business every day I'm glad we've found a way to work around it."
> There's not a hint of pain in her voice, but you know that rejection had stung.
"Mmm-hmm. Now, come on. Dinner's nearly ready, and we both of us need to eat."
> "But there's still the planning to do on the fourth section-"
> To think your dominant problem would ever become that it was hard to get Twilight to -stop- working.
> Even years into her recovery it sometimes surprised you.
> Still vastly better than the alternative, however.
"Nope. And no taking your dinner to your workstation either."
> "Awww."
> Ruffling the pouting pony's mane, you shoot her a small grin.
"Life exists outside of work, girl. Now come on - if you were going in with me every day, you'd have left your work at... work."
> Rising, you wander into the kitchen of your house.
> Sometimes it still surprised you too; even now you somehow expected to wake up and find yourself in that dingy, cramped apartment again.
> Sure, this one wasn't exactly a luxury home - but it was nearly three times larger than your previous residence.
> Throughout dinner, however, you could see something was on her mind.
"Pickle for your thoughts, Twilight?"
> "It's penny, and-"
>>
>>25596242

> She blinks as you fork over a pickle slice, then gives you a sly look.
> "I guess I have to give my thoughts now, huh?"
"Absolutely."
> Fidgeting with the custom hoof-fit flatware, Twilight abruptly looks down.
> "I... do you think you could get me into your job just once again?"
"You really want to be part of it directly again, huh?"
> "Well, yes. But - not why I wanted. Um, actually..."
> Fork and knife fall to her plate, leaving forehooves free to be rubbed together.
> "...I wanted to see where they died."
> Seeing the stiffness that had settled over you, she violently shakes her head:
> "No, no. Not that. I know it wasn't my fault. I just... I want to see. To put it entirely behind me."
"You promise, no more bouts of depression if I let you do this?"
> It's a promise she can't possibly hope to honestly make - no one, pony or human, could say what seeing something like that would do.
> But even so, when Twilight nods an affirmative you know she meant to keep it.
> "No depressed unicorns - I promise. Pinkie promise."
> Definitely meant to keep it.
> As Twilight had opened up, you'd learned little tidbits about her world.
> Like that kind of promise being a serious deal to her.
"There won't be anything really there, you know. They cleaned up everything, scrubbed the floors and damn near rebuilt the building."
> "I know. It's hard to explain, I..."
> She hesitates, staring at the half-downed plate of food before her.
> "Somehow, even if it isn't really my fault, I need to put it behind me. Seeing that... what's the phrase you use? It'd put my demons to rest?"
"That's understandable, I suppose. I'll give it a shot - they can't afford to avoid offending their golden goose, so they'll probably agree to a brief visit."
> "Thank you."

--------

"Okay, just keep all hands, legs, hooves, horns, and other assorted limbs away from operating machinery, and we should be good."
>>
>>25596253

> The joke falls flat, but Twilight at least seems to have caught the gist of the warning.
> As if she needed the reminder.
> "I'm ready."
"Let's go, then."
> Harsh buzzing grates on human and pony ears alike as a door is unlocked.
> Beyond sits the production floor: A tangled mass of machinery and piping that was barely understandable in theory, let alone in person.
> Both of your wore safety glasses and earguards - in Twilight's case, borrowed from the business' cache of equipment for other company-owned ponies.
> They only barely served to muffle the indescribable cacophony that greeted you as you stepped out onto the work floor.
> Mane and tail were also tied back too, each formed into a small bun that could not catch on anything in passing.
"This way, Twilight. Careful now."
> Easing your way between lines of humming pumps and conveyor belts pushing components through the maze of machinery, you finally come upon a relatively open square.
> It's a fragment of serenity in the maelstrom of industry surrounding it; even the noise seems to have dipped somewhat.
> Even so, Twilight is forced to raise her voice.
> "This is the place?"
"Yes. The hot intake line ruptured there-"
> You point to where a pipe is strung across the ceiling, clad in a thick thermal sleeve.
"-and broke the gas lines there, and there. The explosion blew out everything here; what wasn't pulverized, burned."
> Twilight doesn't reply; her eyes are sweeping over fresh, gleaming metal and newly-painted surfaces.
> Trying, you think, to envision it as her accident had made it.
> Imagining the pools of blood spreading amid the rubble, paint charring to black under the flames' heat, groaning of metal strained beyond-
> "What's that?"
> Interrupting your thoughts, Twilight points you towards something you'd not noticed yet.
> Seated on the wall was a small, silvery plaque - fixed at chest height to a column with several screws.
>>
>>25596264

> The perfect height, you realize when approaching it, for both humans and ponies to be able to read it.
> Time and chemicals had tarnished the plate, but if anything it had only made the letters more legible:
> 'ALAN IRVING - RAUL ALASQUEZ - BRIAN DUFONT - HERMANN GELLER - FRED GINGHAM - MERRIWEATHER - CRESCENT SPANNER - FAIRWEATHER: 7/24 NEVER FORGOTTEN'
> The last three names were accompanied by stamps of what you presumed were the ponies' cutie marks.
> Dimly you become aware that Twilight was reading the plaque aloud; when she finishes, nothing more is said for a long time.
> Her lips move in regular but silent patterns, though; it takes you a while to realize she is committing the names to memory.
> Perhaps several minutes later Twilight rears up, one hoof on the column and another tapping the plate lightly.
> Her voice is soft, but even so audible.
> "I won't forget you either."
> Dropping back down, Twilight looks up to you with eyes wide and shimmering with contained tears.
> "I'm ready to go now, I think."
> Turning for the exit, you've taken perhaps the first few steps when a voice interrupts:
> "Hey! I know you!"
> An earth pony stallion had emerged from between two machines, his sandy coat mottled with accumulated grime that came with working in such an environment.
> "You're Twilight Sparkle, aren't you? You were Princess Celestia's student back home."
> Familiar dread settles over your mind; Twilight, too, had gone stock-still.
> If this one chose to pick a fight in here, it could go bad very badly.
> Not explosively so, but there were plenty of hot, sharp, heavy or otherwise hazardous things to knock into.
> And frankly, an earth pony would have strength to surpass you or-
> "Uh, listen. I just wanted to say, thanks. You've done a lot for us down here."
> Yours and Twilight's minds come screeching to a halt at the same moment.
> She recovers first, although not with her full eloquence:
> "Huh?"
>>
>>25596280

> "I'd heard a bunch of rumors you were coming up with these new changes, but didn't quite believe it - but, wow. It's really you."
> At last the rest of Twilight's brain catches up with her lips, and a more coherent reply emerges.
> "But, I - it was my design -"
> "Oh, that?"
> The stallion points to the plaque; Twilight nods dimly.
> "Horsefeathers. I was there for that; I wasn't your fault. Stuff like that - it used to happen all the time."
"Used to?"
> At last the stallion notices you; he dips his head slightly in greeting and replies:
> "Used to. Since the new changes started coming in, it's been a lot safer down here. Even for us 'property'."
> Mouthing the words 'new changes' to herself, Twilight stutters out a response.
> "New - you don't mean my-"
> "Damn right I do. If you're the one that's been suggesting them, I mean. All that pre-testing and step-by-step checks has really cut down on the accidents and made our lives easier."
"...hey, Twilight. I guess your insistence about checking everything a million times is actually paying off."
> At last a wide smile splits Twilight's face.
> "You really mean it?"
> "You bet it. You've been a gift from Celestia herself for us."
> Now it is Twilight's turn to dip her head, furiously blinking back tears of happiness.
> "I - I'm really glad to hear that. I didn't - I wanted to think it was helping, but-"
> "Really has. Good to know that someone's caring for us up there. Human or pony, we down here weren't exactly high on their priorities before."
> With a little stomp of her hoof, Twilight nods once more - this time, a sharp and determined.
> "Then - then I'll do all I can. I promise - we won't give up. Either of us."
> Her tail - balled up as it is, twitches to flick against your leg.
> "He's helped me a lot too."
> "Well, then I'll thank you as well."
> Once more the pony's head dips in greeting, and you smile back.
"She's been a help for everyone, honestly."
>>
>>25596359

> The high Twilight rides from that encounter lasts for hours.
> She seems to be coasting on clouds, newly reinvigorated and determined.
> Even as you climb in the car, she practically dances her way into the passenger's seat.
> On arriving home, her first instinct is to all but leap into your lap - head coming to rest across your thighs as she happily rests her eyes.
"So, that everything you were hoping for?"
> "Do you even need to ask?"
> Chuckling, you assent to the wordless request embodied in her position and start to scratch lightly at the back of her neck.
"Want to place bets on whether I can get you to let go of your work for a bit and take a vacation, then?"
> "After finding out THAT?"
> Smirking at you, Twilight shakes her head.
> "I know you say I should let go more often, but you'd have to pull a miracle off."
"Okay. Miracle it is, then."
> Grinning down, you let the final twist you'd been holding back to drop:
"One of your friends - her name was Pinkie Pie, right?"
> "Uh-huh?"
> Rooting in your pocket, you retrieve your smartphone and scroll until you find the right file.
"This her?"
> Twilight carefully clutches the phone between two hooves, but immediately drops it (thankfully into your lap) when she lays eyes on the image.
> "OhsweetCelestia - Pinkie! Her hair - why's it all straight?! Is she okay? Have you-"
"One thing at a time, Twilight."
> Pulling herself back together, Twilight settles on the couch cushion beside you.
"So - as best as I can tell, she's fine. Maybe not perfectly happy, yes, but safe; her keeper-"
> Twilight may have come to terms with your position with her, but you still felt ill at ease with the word 'owner'.
"-seems to be a good type. I don't think he's been hurting her, and he's agreed to let the two of you meet."
> All is still for several moments.
> And then-
> "Yes! Yesyesyes! OhmysweetCelestiayes! Yeeeessss!"
>>
>>25596371

> Leaping from cushion to cushion, Twilight twirls about in a joyful, prancing dance as exclamations pour from her.
> "I can't believe we're finally going to see each other-"
"Twilight."
> "-after all this time and I'm sure I'll be able to get her back to normal and maybe even find the others-"
"Twilight!"
> "-and then we can all get back together for-"
"TWILIGHT!"
> Pausing, the mare peers up at you with some confusion.
> From your spot curled into a ball several feet up, you crack an eye open.
"...you're levitating things again, Twilight. Put me down, please."
> "Oh!"
> Blushing until she appears positively crimson, Twilight focuses long enough to settle you and the half-dozen other objects she'd lifted back before her horn extinguishes.
> "I'm sorry - I'm getting better at controlling it, but the magic is coming back so unevenly-"
"It's alright, Twilight. "
> Beckoning her over, you run your fingers along her chin and throat.
"Focus, though. After all, we've got a bit of a trip to plan."

And I think that finishes up this story for real. I'll be around, though - this thread tickles my interest something mightily, so I'm probably going to pick up that Spitfire idea someone suggested a few threads back.

As always, feedback and stuff appreciated.
>>
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>>25555515
>>
>>25595496

>She considers it for a moment.
>"Oh, alright, I guess I do"
>That's fucking right. Your pony is not an "I don't eat cereal with milk" weirdo.
>You were pretty sure people like that were alien spies or some shit.
>You pour some in the bowl, and put the milk on the counter.
>Take a spoon for her, just to be safe.
>You look over to Fluttershy, she's sitting on the floor out of your way, but still watching what you're doing.
>Nope, you're not exactly sure how a pony eats something like cereal.
>You get yourself some, too.
>Mostly because the box is still open, you've always been kind of lazy.
>You bring the two bowls into the living room, she gets up and follows.
"So, Fluttershy, what'd you do before all this?"
>You place the bowls on the coffee table and take a seat.
>She hesitates to get on the couch for a second, but eventually joins you.
>"Oh, I took care of animals, it was great! There were sooooo many critters and...
>Elaborating on the subject, she ends up giving you a continuous, five-minute-long run-on sentence, describing every unnecessary, excruciating detail about her "animal friends".
>It's pretty cute.
>You have to admit *she's* cute, too.
>This is the happiest you've ever seen her, and it melts yo heart like diabeetus.
>The bowls have been sitting out for all this time, you know what that means.
"Hope you don't mind soggy cereal there,"
>She looks sadly at her breakfast, then to you:
>"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
>You sigh and shake your head.
"It happens, Flutter. If you still feel like eating it, go ahead,"
>You're not (too) pissed, and soggy cereal is still food.
>She seems to share the sentiment, eating the stuff straight from the bowl.
>So that's how they do it.
>Huh.
>You turn the TV on, it's still on the news channel.
>"... latest reports of gunfire in Washington, D.C., at least 4 dead, Many more wounded, and this is coming to us just as-"
>You shut the TV down.
>So much for that.
>>
>>25596500
wonderful, simply wonderful.
I still want more
>>
>>25596500

This is all? No green is complete if it doesn't end in wild horse sex.

I enjoyed it from the beginning to the end, no jokes. Good job Lurker.
>>
Sorry for the complete lack of updates guys. One the branches from my neighbours tree snapped and broke my house's power line on Friday. Finally this morning the city came by and fixed the cable. I was able to do a bunch of brain storming while the power was out so expect an update for the Luna story within the hour!

>>25589980
Nice to see you back HeliAnon

>>25596875
Added your story to the pastebin
>>
>>25596500
you know we love your updates bro
although just seeing pinkie isnt what I originally had in mind for your story to do, as I imagine Anon is fairly well off now, I kinda expected him to start trying to collect them. I'm actually sad to see it end. Slave pony one off thread or general, I'm adoring this shit.
One question I do have though is how long in story has passed between your last update and this one
Don't stop writing in here though, after the holiday weekend is over, we should be back to kissing your ass again. Spitfire might be interesting
>>25596875
>>You shut the TV down.
>>So much for that.
yeah I know this feel. I dont even have a TV anymore (thats why I'm always shitposting in here)
>>25597393
sex would have ruined his story for me honestly, it just didnt feel like it fit
>>25597655
Sweet stuff anon although
>not hooking p a bicycle to an alternator purely so you can update us
its like you dont even care about us anon
>>
>>25598114
Well I went to a cafe for wifi so that I could tell you guys about it since I don't have data on my phone but they had 4chan blocked.

I don't have a bicycle and I have no knowledge with anything related to wires, circuits, electricity or whatever.
>>
Kinda makes me sad how little art is here.
I really like the OP image, but it doesn't convey the same feeling In over half of these stories.
Not much despair here.
I like that stuff.

Maybe I could sketch some shit later.
>>
>>25598246
Please do. We had the artfag doing Sweetie in the beginning, but they vanished. More would be awesome.
>>
Story pastebin: http://pastebin.com/NLP6dcMr
Cont from a 2 threads ago

>Before you proceed to say something, Luna's stomach makes another loud grumble
>"We should probably eat something now."
"Why do you keep referring yourself as we?
>"Oh, it is a long story. We would rather not talk about it
>Fair enough
"Let me get the bowl of fruit for you right outside the door, you must be starving"
>"Wait anon, let us try to get them ourselves"
>Oh right, she's got magic now
>Luna's horn starts to glow and 2 apples from the bowl glow of the same colour
>The apples slowly start floating in the air towars her but you notice that Luna is struggling
>Just as they get a few feet in the air they drop to the ground, magic glow no longer wrapping them
>You look back at Luna, exhaustion in her face
>"It seems like our magic is rather weak. We haven't been able to use it since we were captured"
"The effects from the magic suppressants must still be affecting you"
>"Oh right... Guess we will wait until they wear off then"
>You pick off the apples from the floor and hand them to Luna
>Once she chows them down she asks you to use the washroom
"Go ahead Luna, you don't need to ask me for permission"
>She gives you a nice smile and proceeds to walk across the hallway to the wash room
>"Care to give us a wash? We usually use our magic in the shower but obviously we cannot at the moment"
>You weren't expecting that
"Ehhh... sure I guess. If you don't mind that is"
>Luna hops into the bathtub and you turn on the showerhead
>You get her wet (no pun intended) and lather her up with some soap
>You can tell she finds this very satisfying, must of not been washed very well since she was at the auction
>Once you rinse the soap of her, you dry Luna off with a towel
>>
>>25598416

>You begin drying her head and hair
>As you finish, Luna's eyes and yours lock for a few seconds, staring at each other
>Damn, Luna is fucking beautiful
>Your little friend in your pants is starting to wake up
>godownwiener.png
>You snap out of your daydreaming and back into reality
>Your face is bright red like a tomato, a trait you shared with your father
>Luna starts to giggle
"I.. eh... um... here take the towel.... you can finish drying yourself off"
>You hand her the towel and storm out of the wash room
>You grab a bottle of water from the fridge and crash onto the sofa
>God dammit brain, why do you do this to me
>Gotta keep a mental note to avoid situations like that in the future
>You turn on the TV and tune in to the news

That's all for the update for now. I gotta fucking appointment I forgot about. I'll be back in a few hours.

Writing takes a fucking long time, holyshit.
>>
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>>25598434
Jingle Jangle?
...
What did I used to read of yours....
For some reason sweetie belle comes to mind...
Was it you writing some story about her and finding rarity's bdsm stuff?...
>>
>>25598563
Nope. Only thing I've made so far is the Luna story and its my first one too.
>>
>>25598668
No, I know I've seen that name ages ago.
Not for this thread....
I was waiting for you to come back to a story.

I forget.

I remember talking to you under the namefag "Pinkamena"
>>
>>25598165
I would loose my shit seeing an anon peddling a bike while trying to write a greentext just to please some internet faggots
I'd gladly build it for you
>>
>>25596371
>meetup with Pinkie

Shieet, in the happy ending of Gearsgearseverywhere's story, doesn't she meet Twilight?

You're linking the stories, aren't you, you beautiful fucker?
>>
>>25599325
Yup, here it is!

https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385994/#25394767
>>
>>25598434

I love your green Jingle Jangle
Plz continue
>>
>>25559486
>Briefly you consider tracking down your cook and questioning her, but discard the idea almost immediately.
>After all, Roma might not give you the answers you want to hear.
>And… and…
>It doesn’t really matter if the stallion is Apple Bloom’s brother, so long as you can convince the Steffords that he is, right?
>If you remember the contract right, DNA testing is at their cost, so you doubt they’ll seriously contest it.
>This deal is worth a decent amount of money to them, but not *that* much.
>You’re almost giddy with excitement as you open the barn door and slip inside.
>It’s quiet - the stallion occasionally grunts as he thrusts himself into Apple Bloom, but that and the squeaking of the stand are the only sounds.
>Your mare seems to have run out of tears.
>Lauren is slumped on the ground with her legs bent, resting her crossed arms on her knees.
>She seems oblivious to everything, looking vaguely in Apple Bloom’s direction with a vacant, thousand-yard stare.
“Not too proud to sit on the dirt anymore?”
>That should make things easier.
>Always has, with her.
>Once Lauren’s pride is broken, she’s a cinch to deal with.
“Hey.”
>This time won’t be any different.
>You’ll have your money back by the end of the day.
“Lauren, wake up.”
>You bend down slightly, trying to get her attention.
>Her eyes don’t waver – she doesn’t respond to you at all.
>Huh.
>You reach out to touch her shoulder – you don’t want to wait for her to snap out of whatever little fantasy she’s having on her own.
>>
>>25600026
>As your fingers brush against her, Lauren finally comes alive, jumping away and slapping at your hand.
>”Don’t you ever fucking touch me, you son of a bitch!”
>She misses by a mile.
“Well, if you’d actually been paying attention to things, I wouldn’t have had to.”
>Lauren scowls at you and scoots further away.
>”Everything’s fine.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far…”
>The woman’s frown deepens as you sit down beside her.
>”No need for you to stay, I’ve got this.”
“Actually –“
>”Fine! Then I’ll go –“
>She tries to stand, but you grab her wrist and yank her back down – pulled off-balance, she falls awkwardly to land sprawled on the dirt.
“Don’t you fucking walk away from me.”
>”Or what?” Lauren growls, tearing her arm free from your hand and half-rising.
“Or I’ll have to go talk to your ‘daddy’ about this instead.”
>She freezes in place.
>”About what?”
“Well, I just heard something interesting from one of my ponies.”
>Slowly, she lowers herself back down, edging further away from you as she does so.
>”And…?”
>She knows you have a point – you always have a point. She also knows you’re going to take your own sweet time getting to it.
“Apple Bloom has a brother.”
>The woman timidly glances in the mare’s direction – as do you after a second’s delay.
>Her eyes are squeezed shut, her ears flat against her skull.
>She won’t hear a word you say.
>Good, you don’t want her ruining your bluff by saying anything.
>>
>>25600080
>”What, you want to buy him or something?” Lauren mumbles after a moment, her green eyes flickering away from the ponies momentarily. “Maybe make your money back on stud fees?”
>She laughs weakly, baring her teeth in a fake smile.
>”You want advice or something?”
“Nah, I heard he was pretty badly injured.”
>If the ponies thought he was dead, he had to have been – if he had survived at all.
>”So what? If you take care of him proper and all, that ain’t much of a problem.”
>She jerks her chin towards the stallion.
>”Daddy managed, after all.”
>Oh, that’s just beautiful.
“I also heard he was pretty big.”
>”Well, good for you, then. Guess you’ll get a nice foal out of this.”
>She frowns and looks away, finding something at the far end of the barn that required her immediate attention.
“He’s also bright red.”
>Lauren’s head snaps around to stare at you, her eyes wide in panic.
>”You don’t mean –“
“Now, what did that contract say again about –“
>”Don’t you dare!”
>She practically jumps to her feet. You follow suit – it’s hard to intimidate someone standing over you.
>As it is, the top of her head barely comes up to your chin.
>That doesn’t stop her from getting in your face, though.
>”Don’t you *dare* try –“
>She stops midsentence to look at the ponies again.
“What?“
>”Outside,” she murmurs angrily, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the door. “We’ll discuss this outside.”

more later tonight
>>
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When will GearsGearsEverywhere come back? We didn't get the good ending.
I can't take it anymore.
>>
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>>25600136
Agreed
>>
>>25600136
>>25600199
Refer to
>>25599486
>>
>>25600290
It's beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
Still want more GearsGearsEverywhere though, he was really good.
>>
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>>25580186
Not much to comment here not much has moved on since the last bit uhh. High shenanigans?


>>25591111
It takes a special kind of evil to be mean to a pregnant Fluttershy. Interesting to have a purely antagonist anon character. Looking forward to whatever this is going to be so far a good start.

>>25589980
This will probably be fine right? I mean she even has that chip in her even if he can't find her..... right? Either way great to have you back man I thought you was a toad.


>>25596500
Happy horses ending. I'm glad a few things got resolved and it ended on a hopeful ending even though I was hoping for a time skip of many years later but this is nice way to end it too.

>>25596875
Riiight.... so when does he flip out and ruin all the trust building made between them.


>>25598434
YES YES YES, Goddamn I missed your story Moonhorse is top cute and need more. What else will she need anon's help with no/weakened magic?
>>
No more updates for today. I haven't seen my father for a few days and he just got back so I going to go spend some time with him.

>>25601042
Well someone requested spooning, so I plan to do that.
>>
>>25600097
Ooooh, this is back. Looking forward to things getting interesting with this conversation.
>>
>>25601433
That's a shame
>>
>>25601042
When he buys Fluttershy a puppy, then gets pissed with her and snaps its neck naw, just messing with you (hopefully)
>>
>>25602812
Reminds me of a guy i know who when he was 8, and his brother 7, got a baby duck for Christmas. They started arguing who got to hold it so their dad took it from them and stomped it so neither of them could hold it.
>>
>>25602891
I was thinking of the time with the Ariel Castro abductions, where he gave one of the women he kidnapped a puppy, then killed it when it bit him.
>>
>>25602812
It's not a bad idea.
Fluttershy probably believes she has lost everything. Anon needs to do something to remind her that she ALWAYS has something more to lose.
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