Howdy, partner!
What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.
Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.
The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:
~~~~~
>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?
>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."
~~~~~
Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.
If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.
If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.
If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.
Thread 143! A little apple for you, and a lot for me!
>>27582821
1 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20580492/
50 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27268873
138: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27308674/
139: desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27347570/
140 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27404496
141 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27463354
142 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27517724
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack
Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27517724
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki
Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
First for Mane six
FIRST FOR TRIXIE SHE EARNED IT
>>27582887
That's uncomfortable.
>>27582896
So close, but no cigar.
>>27582887
Not lewd enough!
>>27582887
Wow, punishments in Eqeuestria are weird.
OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~
>Tia? Gotta question.
"And I have all of the bombs. All of them. All of the bombs and they are pointed right at you and I will make you buuurrrrnnn."
>Iffin' ya' strike me down, Ah'll just come back angry ya' spent all that fundin' on bombs instead'a roads.
"Worth it!"
>But to mah' question, what do griffons have ta' trade with us?
"...uhhhh-"
>Cause we got unique crops, we got weather stuff like the dang stormclouds, we got us some gold veins, we can literally dig randomly in our mountains and come back with buckets of friggen gems, we got abundant water, we even got us plenty of farmland. So much, we don't even use the stuff in Everfree! What've they got for us?
"...Feathers?"
>...
"They make nice pillows."
>...
"Really nice, you ever had a griffon-down pillow? It's amazing."
>...
"...Their scones are pretty good."
>We got, like, nineteen different expert sweet chefs.
"Ah, yes, that we do, but they're not scony?"
>One of 'em is a dang griffon.
"Uh huh, so he is, so he is."
>...
"..."
>...
"I've got nothing."
>>27583035
Fuck Griffons!
>>27582896
Secret bro-tier horse was surprisingly good, I'll give you that. I also liked how she and Sunset didn't end on bitter terms, so they could be friends later if they want to
>>27583145
Yeah, but poor Trixie just can't catch a break.
Universe has to get her somehow.
Pinkie Preview Prophecy
>Does Applejack prefer organically grown apples?
>Can't read Pinkie's pokerface!
>Celestia can be so smug towards Luna sometimes.
>Tree Hugger was like...whoa.
>Octavia makes and drinks tea in the shower like normal ponies.
>The CMC will take any reason to do a booty shake.
>We have a special guest star, Britneigh Spears!
>grape fanservice!
>>27583216
>Britniegh spears
Nice.
>>27583106
I did find it funny that in the show the answer was scones.
Fucking scones.
Thatll fix the economy.
>>27583216
>>We have a special guest star, Britneigh Spears!
Holy shit my sides...
>>27583194
I liked that, it was a nice way to end on a comedy note instead of a 'DETERMINATION!' ending.
>Tree Hugger
"Cantie
~~~
>....
"You've, uh, you've been staring at that hospital window for a while now, you okay?"
>...You ever see something so shiny, so pretty, you can't help but think... wow, life's like, really big.
"Uh..."
>Cause life is like... it's like, wow, it's a whole bunch of things, you know? It's a thing, but then it's a THING, and you just don't know what to do anymore.
"I don't... what?"
>So then you sit back and you think... wowwww... there's like, so much going on, all the time? A billion little things all doing a thing and it just makes... a thing.
"A... thing."
>A thing, my pony, a thing. There's so much doing, then there's just.. a thing.
"..."
>Wow.
"Wow?"
>No... no, not wow. You know what this gets?
"What's that?"
Out of her hat, she pulled out a pair of sunglasses, and slipped them on.
>...whoa.
Gonna post this so breakfast /pa/ls have something nice to look at tomorrow morning!
>>27583532
You know I just noticed, but shes only pushing down on one key, just the one. How does she have that level of finesse with hooves!?
>>27583563
Nah, what would be impressive is if she was pressing on two or three with spaces in between, now that would be freaky.
>>27583532
Still a great pic.
>>27583563
She literally trained for months on months on months to be able to precision control her muscles so that she could hug her babies, because while every other Queen saw one worthwhile ling and a whole lot of disposable drones, Chitty legit wanted a whole big hive to think they were her kids and she was gonna love the fuck out of all of them.
That's how.
>>27583563
Training. Lots and lots of training. With hoovsies getting smacked with a pipe for messing up, cause momma titan is a bitch.
>>27583646
>With hoovsies getting smacked with a pipe for messing up, cause momma titan is a bitch.
Chitty's mom didn't teach her control, just the opposite. She turned to music and precision instruments because her mother's teaching left her with a fuckload of power, but no finesse. She could lift a mountain with ease but when it came to just holding things, she would break them. Her mother taught her to always be at 200 percent and breaking skulls, she had to learn herself how to pick up a bow and slide it across string without sawing through it. She literally caused a shortage in cellos for the entire nation before she got the hang of it.
>>27583699
That was actually me projecting my mom on Chitty's mom. My mom was a bitch about me being good a piano, haven't touched one ever since I moved out.
>>27583747
Did...did she use a pipe?
Holy shit.
>>27583759
PVC Pipe, it doesn't leave a noticeable mark but it hurts like a bitch. It would also shatter sometimes and cut my knuckles, it was messed up man.
>>27583640
>Chitty legit wanted a whole big hive to think they were her kids and she was gonna love the fuck out of all of them.
Goddamn, that's adorable.
>>27583875
And very sad considering what happened next.
>Actarius
"JJ"
~~~
>Alright, I think I'm starting to work out a map to this.
"How?"
>I've started marking certain rooms, and little by little I'm figuring out which doors go to them. At the very least, I know two doors end up in the kitchen, one door ends up in the lavatory, one door ends up in that weird exercise room, and five doors end up in that bedroom.
"...But... but the bedroom only has one door."
>I'm trying not to question it, because I'm actually finding some consistency here.
"But there's one door. It's... how does it work if there's five doors that all connect to one door!?"
>I'm trying not to question it I said!
"This seems like something you would question though!"
>JJ, just trust me, you don't want to-... dang.
"Dang?"
>It changed.
"What changed?"
>The doors, they go somewhere different now.
"...Did... did I do that?"
>...
"Sorry."
>Don't question it, JJ, just don't question it.
>>27584064
So if you think you can figure it out, but if you question HOW it works, it changes so it doesn't work?
So... Lavan uses Chaos Magic?
>>27583532
>Godzilla Tune intensifies
You know she's playing it.
Don't know why, but I randomly felt like making one of these.
>>27584356
Ahhhh, classic.
>>27584383
Literally classic, that was one of the original greats.
>>27584280
For some reason I actually hear her playing Ode to Joy.
>>27584483
She's not that good. She can play a whole lot of instruments but she is a master of none.
>>27584356
Oh, the memories....
>>27584356
Smiling like a bitch over here.
>>27584203
I was trying to avoid that. Guess I'll just have to make this even weirder to pull it out of that label.
>Luna
"Assassin"
'???'
-???-
~Pommel~
>Aha, you there, Day Guard.
~Yes, your majesty?~
>Bring news to your captain, the Royal Sisters require a coterie to block this knave's escape whilst he quivers in fear of their judgement!
~Uh, I AM the Captain, your majesty. Captain Pommel.~
>...we knew that! Gather six of your guards and tell them to assemble within our throne room!
"S-s-six? Is that really necessary?"
~Well yeah, I mean aren't you a cold blooded killer? Throwing out all those taunts? Where'd they go because it looks like they got replaced by stuttering and shivering.~
"I m-mean I'm a-"
>Assassin! Vile assailant of foreign dignitaries, spewing forth bile and rhetoric as you plunged your weapon into the chest of the changeling ambassador! We know who you are and what you-
'WHOA!'
>...
"..."
~...aw fuck.~
'This fuckhead did WHAT to my brother!?'
~...hiiiiii 88...~
-Hi, I'm Lavan.-
~...hi Lavan.~
>Greetings changeling...fire beast.
"Uhm...hi?"
'Nah nah nah, no more hellos, what did this fat bastard do to 32!?'
~You seriously don't know?~
-88 and I were helping the rebuilding, we were unaware of...ohhhh that's where all the blood came from.-
~Well that explains th-~
'He still alive?'
>Yes, thine kin yet lives.
'Cool, he dies, this asshole does too. Slowly. C'mon, Lavan.'
-...-
'Lavan?'
-He will also die fiery. Slow fiery dying, that will displease him.-
~Uh...good to know.~
>His sentence will be decided by my sister and I.
'Yeah, well I'm a top infiltrator and he's a fire monster from beyond space. We'll give our own sentence if 32 bites it, and OUR sentence will have a lot more exclamation points on the end, believe you me!'
-And it will be in a very fancy cursive!-
'C'mon, Lavan.'
>...
~Well, that's just great.~
"...eeeeeeeee..."
>Oh silence your whimpering, come on! You! Guards! Now!
~Yes, your majesty!~
>>27585136
>Chiggers trying to supersede the law
Oh when will they learn?
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.
"and me~"
>Yep, here to get you fixed.
"Hey!"
>What do you have for us?
"Actually, I was curious about the Filly Scouts."
>Oh right. We had a good talk about the Filly Scouts in the past and I talked about my camping experience. Then I bought cookies and asked them to stop coming.
"...You bought cookies from them?"
>Yeah, Ah' felt a little bad that they weren't going to get business from us anymore so Ah' bought a box.
"...so this is how it begins."
>Ah' don't know what you're talking about. The Filly Scouts are going to stop now. They seem reasonable enough. Problem solved.
"...I guess we'll see later."
>Don't you have faith in today's youth?
"...I did say they've been getting bold."
>Ah'm telling ya, you're fussing over nothing. Anyway thanks everypony for joining me on...the Fireside.
>>27585870
JUST FUCK ALREADY
Morning Thread.
>>27585060
>Weirder
>To AVOID chaos label
What.
>>27585870
She's doomed.
>>27583532
Well, that's a fun sight to wake up to.
>>27586373
He means
>Nnooooo, don't figure out a way to counter or be stronger than my OC, I want him to be the most powerful character!>Yss, I know a character named Lavan was a Gen 1 character. Statement unchanged.
>>27584356
Glorious!
>>27586651
Actually, since it's Lavan specifically, he has two easy and hilarious kryptonites to be used if you want anyone, literally anyone, to easily beat him. Won't say what they are in case it comes up in a story, but if you know the Gen 1 character it's not hard to figure out.
>>27586651
Already proven he can go through Chaos magic so Discord is out, but he can be beaten more mundanely as >>27586799 eluded to.
I'm sorry that we have yet another character that AJ can't intimidate into submission or easily overcome. But that happens when your main character is a midcarder in terms of power. That is why the show has Twilight as out and out better than everyone else, so most threats have to go trough her.
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~
>This cannot be healthy.
"Shining, be straight with me, how healthy is our culture? No, really, do you see how much emphasis we put on sweets? Do you not see how much our world is full of candy and sugar and everything like it? We have so many sweets that even ponies who's cutie mark is candy still end up moving garbage for a living, because the market is so utterly flooded that it's available anywhere, anytime. Even ponies out in the middle of nowhere fuckoff tundra somehow get all the ingredients they need to make the most delectable of cakes, why? Because we need it. We are bright, colorful little ponies Shining, and we need our candy and sugary goodness! We need it! WE NEED IT! AND NOTHING SHALL EVER TAKE IT FROM USSSSS!"
>...But still, frying a stick of butter?
"It's good!"
>Are you diabetic, you have to tell me if you are.
"Not yet!"
>...
"I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes, and I keep a bottle of bleach underneath my bed, just in case. I'm not sure how much time I have on this planet, Shiny, but I'm not spending it without the cakes."
>...M'kay, fried butter it is.
"That's the spirit! Live before you die!"
>To being mortal!
"Mortality!"
>>27586888
...That's awesome and terrifying.
>>27586882
>I'm sorry that we have yet another character that AJ can't intimidate into submission or easily overcome.
So then, she is going to fight him/have to take him down/control him to prevent something/figure out how to defeat/overcome in some meaningful sense at some point in the future?
Ah, nevermind the first statement then. Sorry for jumping the gun on that, I forget our setup for action/debate/whatever events can take a long time, with the time spaced it was just starting to seem like he was there and just arbitrarily was declared the strongest by a writer trying to hype up their own creation, with no real connection or meaning to it in the story.
Absolutely then, I don't care how strong he is. An Antagonist is there to give the protagonist challenge, be it physical, character or otherwise, to complain about them being too strong is to miss the point. The setup to make it harder for Discord to intervene makes more sense now that I know it's actually going to be something AJ has to confront and deal with, and is good planning if a bit 'informed ability'. Still, informed ability well before any event that would follow the eventual storyline where AJ actually has to match Lavan, mentally magically or otherwise, prevents a lot of plotholes from forming.
With that in mind, I guess I can relax knowing that, at some point, Lavan is going to be the antagonist to something, and AJ is going to have to be the one to confront and overcome it, so his super-duper-special-magic seems less... well, super-duper-special, and more an obstacle that's going to matter int the long run.
>>27586943
He was originally set up to be a big bad before his initial contact with the crystal harem and with the little tidbits of him 'trying to kill everything in the past' and 'using interesting things to keep himself distracted' he is still primed to be arc anytime we want to set him off.
Basically, when his 2-esc level of Childlike wonder runs out, he is going to fall back on old ways. And bonus points in that he won't be weak to bug types if you catch my drift.
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~
>You want us to what!?
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
>Plum silly!
"Insane even!"
>Discord would call hootenany!
"Even I'm not this crazy!"
>What are you thinking!?
'I just think it would be a good idea for practice, is all. I mean, we're on really good terms with the Maretonians, they're pretty nice, so it would be good to have a meeting with them to discuss matters is all.'
>How is that a good idea!?
"Do you want a want an embargo!? Do you!? Because that's how you get embargos, putting me looking like me in the room after a goddamn bugzilla rampage!"
>And Ah've got enough on mah' plate without Celly chewin' off mah' damn ear cause Ah' messed up yet again cause nobody can stand mah' friggen straight talk!
"Or her talk in general, it's confusing!'
>HEY!
'... Chrysalis, I'm playing the card.'
"Don't you dare!"
'Doing it.'
"Cadence, I swear!"
'Card. Played.'
"...I'm going to pour all your shampoo down the drain.'
>Go ahead and play whatever card ya' want on me! Ah' dare ya, Ah' double dog dare ya'! Triple even! Ah'll do a triple! Ya'll ain't got nothin', and ya' ain't gonna get nothin', that'll make me play this game! Ah'm stickin' outta the fancy talk and you ain't got a single dang thing to change my mind! TRY ME!
'...Auntie Cellllllyyyy!'
>DON'T YOU BUCKIN' DARE!
'Your favorite adopted niece has a faaavoorrrr!'
>Come back! Come back here!... Chrysalis stop her!
"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."
>Betrayal! Ah' knew you'd stab me in the back!
"No regrets."
'Aunnnttieee!'
>COME BACK!
So Lavan's going to end up another villain then. Lovely.
>>27587151
Can't please everyone.
either we keep him as 88's happy-go-lucky sidekick and leave him in that third string of 32/77/88/JJ/acty/Pommel/Daw/side guard/29/MM/Zecora/Trixie/Luna knowing he can beat anyone we point him at.
or
We let him eventually rampage and feed him to AJ,
>>27587146
Whipped!
>>27587151
Nobody said villain, they said antagonist. As in, someone opposite the protagonist who they need to overcome in some way, much like how Chitty technically wasn't a villain in the latest arc, but she was pure antagonist.
And if you have a problem with Lavan being an antagonist... why? What, I ask, is otherwise the purpose of him being one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, characters? He wasn't like that in G1, so it's not a legacy thing. Even if there was a threat he could take down, we wouldn't want him to do it instead of one of the more established characters. He wasn't alluded to in the main storyline before his appearance, he wasn't a presence or escalation presence during any of the arcs, and he was introduced literally by dropping him out of the sky.
If not to be an antagonist, if he's never going to be an obstacle that Aj can't, as earlier said, intimidate into submission or easily overcome, why have him be that powerful at all?
>>27587246
My plan washave his power be usurped by someone with a far more villainous temperament taking advantage of him.
>>27587273
That works too, It allows him to be overcome without taking away the way he is used now.
>>27587151
Yep! Joining the ranks of that most villainous, that most evil, the one who nearly consumed the world in an endless darkness that could never be overcome, the threat to the world, nay, the very existence of the planet, who could only be overcome by wits, teamwork and just a bit of the power of friendship, the monstrous and terrible...
FLUTTERSHY!
>>27587273
Or that works, establish a powerlevel simply so that sometime in the future someone else could use his power instead, that way we know what he could do and when the time comes it would make sense why the protags would be prepared and know how to fight him.
>>27586888
>Sim Pinkie Pie is an unparalleled reality warping warrior on par with Discord with the level of fuckshit she can unleash anywhere and anytime.
Well that's going to be a cotten candy blood bath.
>Dash
"Various"
~~~~
>Guys? I'm going to be honest, I have doubts about this.
"Doubts!? With us!?"
"Ludicrous! We're the best sparring team you could hope to ask for!"
>Okay, first red flag, 'sparring'. You do know this isn't a fight, right? I'm looking for help in training.
"Same thing!"
>It really isn't.
"Look, you wanted the best, right?"
"Well, we'll have you know we were the very first to sign up for the Crystal Empire Airforce, and nobody has ever beaten our records!"
"Nobody!"
>...But, wait, didn't they-
"So if you want the best..."
"If you want to be trained with the best..."
"If you want the ones who know the game and can make you a real hero..."
"Then you've come to the right place..."
"Because nobody is better at this than..."
"""""THE RAINBOLTS!"""""
>...Uh huh.
"""""RAINBOLTS! TOKUSENTAI!"""""
RAINBOOOOM!
>GAHHHHH! MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS ON FIIIRRRRREEEEE!
"OH NO! Miss Dash!"
"SHIT! Those were supposed to go off behind us, not in front of us!"
"Damn it yellow, look what you did!"
"But Indigo was the one who-"
"Fucking. Yellow."
"Okay..."
"...So! First day of training is on, Rainbow Dash, I hope you've learned a valuable lesson about being prepared for the unexpected!"
>IT BUUURRRNNNNNS!
"You need to work on your dodging, just a bit of con crit."
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>>27587452
Shoulda stayed in the empire, fellas.
>2
"18"
~~
>Shiny? Mommy? Ah'm home from school... what the...
"HELP!"
>Uh, Eighteen? Ya' know Mommy doesn't like it when ya' sit on the throne, it gives her flashbacks.
"THEY WON"T STOP!"
>That is a long line of ponies. Are they all sittin' on the throne? OH OH! CAN I GO TOO!? Do I gotta be tall enough to ride it? Ah'm really tall! I can fwoosh taller too, cause changeling! It ain't cheatin', Not-mom said so!
"SO MANY QUESTIONS!"
>Are they 'is it mah' turn on the throne yet'? Cause Ah' get where they're coming from.
"GAHHHH!"
>Wow, that ride is way more fun than it looks, yer' not even movin' and yer' screamin'!
"SHINY HELP!"
>Are ya' stuck? Ah' can help ya' out!
WHUMP!
"..."
>Yer' free!
"...thank you, Two, I needed to remember that the pain is real, and not all in my head."
>Yer' welcome... wow, I am good at this, maybe Ah' should solve some problems!
"...So tempting... so... tempting..."
>>27587741
She's gonna rule it someday, might as well get it out of the way now.
>>27587976
Mally taxes, 20 percent of each batch goes to Princess Two.
>Guard
"Guard2"
'Trixie'
~???~
~~~~
One look, and the guard to the dungeon knew today was going to be another one of those days.
How he longed for the days when he saw so little action he could have written an entire novel in his downtime, one word an hour. He wished he could go back to the days before the return of Nightmare Moon, when everything was just plain more simple. When everything made more sense.
When he didn't see three guards being needed to drag a single, wild mare into his prison, and knew right away she was going to be a loud one.
'UNHOOF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE BEFORE SHE BLASTS YOU INTO A BILLION PIECES! SHE'S A HERO, DAMN IT!'
The guard at the front was the quickest to react, a fact that brought great ire to the two who had to continue holding her flailing form. He looked positively relieved the moment his ear managed to get away from the unending screech of his captive.
>Is the captain around? We have another prisoner.
'HERO!'
The stallion at the desk sighed, idly flipping out his book, and inking his quill.
"I'm afraid he's dealing with the recent assassination attempt, he's dealing with the perpetrator personally, and isn't around."
>Damn.
"What's she in for?"
>She went crazy in a hospital, destroyed a whole bunch of stuff, knocked a bunch of ponies down, the usual.
'TRIXIE DID NO SUCH THING! IT WAS SUNSET! SUNSET DAMN IT! SHE DID IT!'
>She also claims the former fugitive was there, yet miraculously, none of the dozen or so other ponies she knocked over spotted her. Imagine that.
'SHE MADE THEM FORGET!'
>She also somehow did mind stuff to them, allegedly, despite us scanning them and finding no traces of such.
'BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT THIS!'
>Just look up "Trixie", she's already got a record.
'SHE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!'
"Let's see here... Ah, Trixie, so did you-"
>We looked for any sign of the Alicorn Amulet, nothing.
'...OKAY! THAT ASIDE! SHE DID THAT! BUT THAT WAS IT, AND TRIXIE HAS CHANGED!'
1/3
>>27588284
>Good news, she can't blame the Amulet for this one, so we actually get to persecute her this time.
'TRIXIE WAS FRAMED! IT WAS SUNSET, DAMN IT!'
"Yeah yeah, put her next to the guy who said it was totally Chitania who stole his neighbors furniture... that's not a joke, there actually a guy down there who did that."
>Seriously?
"Yep. Wasn't as loud as her about it."
'BECAUSE TRIXIE IS TELLING THE TRUTH!'
"Suuure, just like everyone else in there."
>Just sign the papers so we can offload her, we're going to go deaf any second now.
'TRIXIE WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! SHE'S INNOCENT!'
"Can we add threatening a guard to that? Just because."
>Why not?
'OH COME ON!'
"Alright, take her back to cell B Three... uh..."
At the other's confusion, he raised a single hoof, pointing out to a fellow guard racing towards them at full tilt. Too quickly, as he soon found out when he collided hard with the edge of the desk. The young stallion was winded, but all too soon he had gasped back enough to find his voice.
~Is the captain around!? I need to speak with him, NOW!~
"He's dealing with the assassination-"
~Well, tell him to forget it! I need him! I need the princesses! I need everybody!~
>Sterling, I swear if you're drunk again-
~THE PRISONER HAS ESCAPED!~
The guards, and the mare in their custody, went deathly silent.
>Which prisoner?
~The one in the hospital! The associate of Chitania! The one who Daw hit! THAT ONE!~
"Oh, fuck."
>How could she have gone anywhere!? She could barely walk and was chained to the damn bed!
~The whole bed is gone with her!~
>How!?
'Erm...'
They moved so fast, they looked like a film that had scenes missing, simply jumping from their panic to staring right into Trixie's soul in an instant.
'...did Trixie forget to mention Sunset was breaking out that mare when Trixie fought her? And totally won, by the way. That's why Trixie fought her, she thought it was a kidnapping.'
2/3
>>27588303
Slowly, ever so slowly, the head stallion's eyes narrowed into a glare.
>You... 'forgot' to mention that'
'She was mostly quiet during the fight, it's easy to forget.'
>...Lock her up.
'But it's the truth!'
>LOCK HER UP!
'NO! NO WAIT! TRIXIE'S TELLING THE TRUTH! SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A KIDNAPPING! SHE FOUGHT SUNSET! SHE WON! SHE WON DAMN IT! WAAAIIIIITT!'
No longer questioning it, and desperate to get away from her before their hearing was completely gone, the two eagerly complied, and dragged her off.
'TRIXIE WILL GET YOU FOR THIIIIiiiiissssss...'
>Can't believe she thought we would buy that.
"Right? What, were we born yesterday?"
>But the prisoner almost certainly used her little stint to escape.
"Perfect distraction, you have to admit."
>And she was right by the hall... any chance she was in cahoots with them?
"No reason to assume it, far as I know they never worked together."
>Damn, was hoping to get her for that to. Will have to settle for all the many assault charges.
~So um... about the prisoner escape-~
>Just... inform the captain, we'll have to deal with that. In the meantime...
He winced, still able to hear the mare clear from where he was.
>Let's ask the princesses if there's room in the budget to soundproof the cells...
>>27588315
Even when Sunset is completely fucking up and losing fights, she comes out on top.
Bravo.
>>27588340
Yeah, but she's always gonna remember this.
No matter how big or how bad she gets, she'll always remember that day.
The day that she lost, to the Great and Powerful Trixie.
>>27588430
"You are the worst Mage I have ever heard off."
>But you have heard of Trixie!
>>27588315
-...sooooo, what're you in for?-
'TRIXIE WAS UNJUSTLY ACCUSED!'
-...I can't tell if this is an upgrade of downgrade from Fatso.-
>>27588499
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought of that.
She even has a nice hat too!
>>27588315
It's a good thing it was Sunset who screwed her over, or Trixie might have been thinking of a teamup out of spite.
>Chitania
"???"
~~~~
>...Have I really been reduced to hoof puppets? Is that where my life went?
"Hey! I'm right here! That's very offensive to me! I have half a mind to leave you to be a jerk all by yourself!"
>Yeah? Where are you going to go?
"I could go anywhere, the world is my oyster! You think I won't do the dirty stuff for a part? I'll let them stick whatever in me, I don't give a fuck!"
>Fine, go on then.
"Fine, I will!... Hng!... HGNN!... Oh no, I'm trapped!"
>Ha.
"Help! Guards! I'm being hoofnapped, literally!"
>I'm not holding you.
"Let me go you ugly brute! I'll scream! RAPE! RAAAAPPPPPE!"
>...
"Ha, just kidding, you know I'm nothing without you. You make me feel just full, and without you I'd be a sad sack on the ground, flopping and just laying there."
>...
"Because I'm a sock."
>...okay, choice made. Next chance I get, I'm buying all the alcohol I can, and filling up every leg hole.
"Where did you even get a sock anyway?"
>...huh...
>>27588783
Eh, you're in Equestria, socks are practically lingerie.
>>27588783
>Is literally just sitting there with a hoof puppet
>Is goddamn hillarious
Beautiful.
>Twilight
"Guard'
~~~~~
>Okay, how about this. A generous benefits package including a huge retirement bonus!
"You already offer that, it was an incentive to regain guards after Cordyceps."
>Ah, right. How abooout, a great vacation package!
"Offer that already, it was why we stuck around after Chitania attacked."
>Ah, that we did. What abooout.. downtime! Lot's of downtime!
"Between the giant monster attacks, you mean?"
>Right, that's a thing... great health benefits?
"We already get free healthcare."
>Fuck, Celestia got that one already...
"..."
>...Jelly of the month club?
"Is that a threat, or an offer?"
>Yes.
"I'll take the punishment, thank you. Better than being in the middle of a city that gets attacked by star bears and no longer has the greatest heroes in Equestria guarding it."
>...shiiiiitttt...
>>27588975
Huh. Who would be a good fit down there?
I guess we could do one like lucky, but he's not really shown any real interest and he doesn't really have any connection to it. One's like DT are off being a superhero celebrity and they are right out, and all of our Mains are tied up in something else obviously. We don't really have a good fit.
>>27589067
Just give it to Harry. He'll be about as effective as anyone else.
>>27589067
Spike?
>>27589211
Give him something to do, I guess?
>>27589211
>Makes a new A-team down in Ponyville
>He's only got Cloudchaser, Derpy, Harry and 77 with occasional help from Trixie
I actually wouldn't mind that.
>>27589323
The A-Team B Team? I can dig it.
>>27589211
>>27589274
>>27589323
Just give it to Harry the Bear. It's the whole reason why I left him there to be a volunteer guard, so that somewhere down the line we wouldn't have to worry about it.
>>27589323
...you know what? Maybe. I'll wait till after the Spike/Jetset thing is resolved first, but I kinda dig the idea of Spike going down there to try and find warriors to defend the place, but only getting... Derpy.
We're putting that one in the maybe pile, after he finishes unlocking himself.
>>27589323
>>27589343
>>27589371
>New A-Team is formed
>Ready to fight and defend for the good of Horses
>Not a single threat comes about to Ponyville, leaving them with nothing to do
>>27589385
Isn't that the dream of every soldier?
>Fluttershy
"Cantie"
'Cantie 2'
~~~
>I don't know why you think I want this, but you keep coming to me. Do you think I want this? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think that, but-
"This asshole is stealing my paper!"
'I am not!'
>Um... does this really require-
"I demand you cut off his hooves for stealing!"
'Oh yeah!? Well I demand you have your tongue cut out for lying!'
>Wow, that um... that is really extreme a reaction, just in general. I'm not even talking about this situation specifically, just in general this seems like it would be pretty huge-
"Well, I demand you have your hooves cut off for stealing and tongue cut out for lying, because you did both!"
'Well, you should be locked up for life for filing a false report, with the biggest zebra thug you can find!'
>We don't have those... I don't mean zebras in general, we have the one, but we don't have zebra thugs, she's nice. She makes me tea when I come down, it's delightful-
"Oh yeah!? Well we'll see how you fight off those big muscly advances when you don't have hooves!"
'Oh yeah!? Well he's going to be real disappointed with you when he learns you don't have a tongue!'
>This got real uncomfortable real fast.
"You know what you need!? You need to get locked up with a griffon!"
'YOU TAKE THAT BACK!'
"Yeah, I bet he'd cuddle you nice and long through the night! You'd share a whole life together!"
'Don't shove your fantasies on to me! I'm not the one who would let that happen!'
>...Is he racist for saying that or you racist for not wanting that?
"PRINCESS! Sentence him!"
'PRINCESS! Double sentence him!'
>I'm not a-
"THAT'S IT!"
'I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
"AAGGGHH!"
'AGGGHHHH!'
>Oh, oh dear, please stop fighting! Please stop, could you just-I'm trying not to do any of my magic, I can't control it well when I get worried, and-oh dear! Oh dear oh dear! Stop! Don't... wait, what are you doing?... What are you doing!? STOP! THIS IS SOMEHOW WORSE!... GET A ROOM, IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU!
>>27589385
That makes me less inclined to put him in charge there. I want him to be able to move freely not chain him down to a small town.
>>27589590
I sorta feel the same way. Feels like we're pushing him further to the side than he already is/was.
>>27583532
NC
>Chitania
"Piano salesmare"
~~~
>Hrmmm...
"Wow, I am not comfortable with you looking through my wares."
>Are these tuned? I don't want to go through tuning them, that's a pain.
"They, uh... they are tuned, yes."
>You sure?
TINK!
>That one sounds a little high.
"I... don't know what's more shocking, you saying that or managing to only hit one key, and not break the thing."
>Hrmm.
TING!
>This one's a little better, but it's flat.
"I would correct you but I feel like you would punch me, and I would explode."
>Hrm...
Dooo!
>This one I like.
"To smash someone with? Yeah, that thing could smash a wall... and a pony. Not this pony, hopefully, but-"
>Let me just try it out.
"How do you try that out? Smashing is one use-"https://youtu.be/3qq-1gCiB7g?t=22m54s
"...Wha... what?"
>I like it!
"...Fuck, meth is a hell of a drug."
>>27588315
Well the good news is that Trixie has a writer, so being locked up is not a death sentence character wise.
Bad news is, unless we pull rank by having Twilight's plot >>27588975 mix and get her forgiven she is not getting out unless 29 breaks her out or Sunset is captured.
>>27589371
He's been off and on this goal for about a year, please don't try to wait on it.
>>27589872
>He's been off and on this goal for about a year, please don't try to wait on it.
He's referring to the currently in-progress subplot, IE Jetset and Spike are currently talking with Celestia, they just met up and decided to talk but we haven't actually gotten their scene where they discuss the unlocking thing yet. Presumably, afterwards, he'll be a bit more open for use.
>>27589872
Nah, Trixie will be fine, don't worry about it.
>>27589850
Nnnnn~ice!
>>27589872
>He's been off and on this goal for about a year, please don't try to wait on it.
Eh, didn't get a positive reaction to the idea, so I guess I'll just leave him be.
Plenty more to write about, no worries.
>>27590035
>Plenty more to write about, no worries.
With him, or just in general?
>>27590160
The idea in particular, not him.
In fact, the talk gave me an idea about who to pick...
LAST THREAD RECAP, TRIXIE TIME EDITION!
>42 is shocked how many visitors 32 has.
>Lightning dust reaps the benefits of her position.
>AJ and Chrysalis, after finishing up the basics for their idea for love as a currency, which much to Chrysalis's dismay entails leaving a sizeable portion of her treasury and every bit she owns in the Embassy with 32, realize that they have no way to propose this to other countries, as they both suck at politics.
>Cadence, happily, does not, and begins training them.
>...It goes badly.
>Actarius and JJ, going into the embassy, realize it's a madhouse, with rooms connecting randomly, and quickly get lost.
>Rarity gets up, and gets to work.
>Chitty gets bored without Sunset.
>PD and Gwen blow off some steam.
>18 solves CE problems, and grows more insane as time goes by.
>Siegfried, with some insistence from Watchdog, finally gets the courage to get out of the hole he's been hiding in, only to find his mother gone.
>The go out searching for Vekir, and shockingly manage to stumble across her.
>SA and Pinkie meet up, realize they haven't hung out in a while, and decide to have fun. And oh, the fun they have.
>While messing up with the Celestia-Rocket, they also stumble across Quicksilver, still down beneath Canterlot. After some mishaps that leaves him injured, they get him back to safety.
>42 is having none of 29's shit.
>The would be assassin tries to convince Snake Eyes to help him get out of this, as he still has to buy his guys some time, but Snake Eyes is having none of it. In fact, he turns it on him, and gets ready to deliver everything to the princess.
>One problem, it wasn't the princess he expected.
>Worse than that, Luna accidentally messes up who the accused pony is, and takes Snake Eyes off to Celestia. The confusion is cleared up shortly after SE's gives some helpful advice, and Snake Eyes is tossed back in his cell, with the assassin back to being taken away.
>Farmerling does not like it when you shoot at his crops.
1/4
>>27590384
>Dash and Twilight do not question SA/Pinkie.
>Honeyheart wakes up after seeing another scene of Jetset's training with Shining. When she wakes up, she's surprised to find she's not kidnapped, nor is the diamond dog, named Zanta a bad guy. The reason the glasses gave off a warning sign had more to do with the fact they're completely surrounded.
>Uh oh.
>Awkwardling discovers that the Pie Family mostly messes with their guests with the rock soup.
>Cloudchaser makes Amethyst take the fall for the town hall thing.
>MM, having had enough, finally insists to Twilight she get some guards down in Ponyville. Reluctantly, Twilight agrees.
>She's quick to find out she would need to appoint a captain of the guard down there, as Pommel obviously is only the captain in Canterlot, but one problem... nobody wants the job.
>Nobody.
>Zecora and 42 reminisce about the poledancing.
>13 gets a gun, and names it bangy shoot shoot. She is not good with names.
>BBB has revolutionary ideas about an orange cat.
>007 finds the cave leading to his target, and after debating with himself about it, decides he's not going to fail the hive again.
>Rarity struggles to find a way to hold the princesses accountable.
>42 and 32 banter.
>After this, they have a long discussion about the current and future state of the changelings, debating each other, and seeing the others point.
>SP and 41 see an oddly familiar wrestling show...
>Two's teacher is confused why she knows how to spell assassin.
>Nobody seems to listen to Fluttershy when she says she's not a princess.
>Including Zecroa
>Chitania tries to move the sun. It doesn't work.
>Dr Hardlove, after a lot of bantering, releases Screwloose.
>CC and Derpy set up an obstacle course for Dash, and Derpy does not understand offensive words.
>Sweetie Doll wants to be a real filly.
2/4totallymeantfour
>>27590389
>DT meets up with her mom, Spoiled Rich, in Trottingham. Despite the obvious signs she's being used, she's just happy to see her mom again, and happy to see Silver Spoon again, who though concerned won't push her.
>Trixie, having stumbled into the hospital room and thinking that Sunset is about to kidnap Sweet Note, engages Sunset in battle. Sunset, meanwhile, holds back and merely attempts to erase her memory.
>Though she can't match her in magic, shockingly, Trixie's able to outtrick her. To the point where, after being battered particularly hard, she manages to fool Sunset into thinking she's escaped, then actually escape.
>During the battle, Sunset slips more and more, until Trixie's escape has her outright livid. She recklessly chases her down the hospital hallway with Sweet Note pulled in tow, firing off mind-wiping spells in a frenzy as she goes to anyone who spots her.
>Eventually, she thinks she's caught Trixie in a long stretch of hallway, but Sunset was tricked yet again! Trixie substituted in a passer-by, and Sunset mind-wiped then.
>A back and forth ensues, with Trixie tricking and outsmarting Sunset to hit blow after blow, but never managing to keep the prodigy down. After she gets the advantage and a bad blow, Trixie thinks she's won, and awaits Sweet Note's praise. It was only here that she learns Sweet Note wasn't being kidnapped, and she wanted to leave. No time to ponder it, as out of the blue Sunset attacks, and catches her!
>Finally, it looks like Susnet has her. Until, it turns out, there was someone who wanted to see Trixie get beat up.
>A not-alive someone.
3/4FOURISWHATISAIDOTHERTHINGDIDN'THAPPEN
>>27590397
>FLASH! When Sunset is blinded, Trixie unleashes everything she has, and unleashing a fireworks display without peer right into Sunset's chest.
>Though the mare is alive, and still standing, Trixie won all the same. The guards are coming, brought by the display, and there's no time to fight. Mockingly, Trixie declares she was holding back the whole time, and when Sunset prepares to leave Trixie gives on final warning about ever doing what she did to her friends.
>With no time left, Sunset Teleports with Sweet Note in tow and Trixie takes a bow.
>The guards arrive soon after, but it doesn't quite go as planned.
>"TRIXIE LULAMOON, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"
>It takes Trixie about a second to realize everyone else got mindblasted.
>"Well played, Sunset..."
Ignore that other bit of nonsense, and as always, if I missed something or misunderstood something mid-skim gimme a shoutout.
>Rarity
"Cantie"
~~~
>Excuse me? I'm trying to get an opinion on possibly getting some accountability for the Royal class-
"You mean giving us more power?"
>...If by us you mean the normal ponies, I suppose yes-
"VIVA LA' REVOLUTION! DEATH TO THE BOURGEOIS! VICTORRRRY-"
>Erm... it's just a proposal right now.
"..........oh..........."
>...
"....I vote yes?"
>I'll um... put that down.
"You're not writing anything."
>So I'm not.
"..."
>...
"...NO GODS NO-"
>Stop.
"Okay..."
>>27589872
>Well the good news is that Trixie has a writer, so being locked up is not a death sentence character wise.
Yeah, thank god.
29 anon even kept 32 from getting zeroed out, Trixie's fine.
>>27589850
>Chitty becoming a concert pianist
That would be amazing.
>>27590409
>In a OoCO story. Spike and Rarity follow a lead on Caramel Sandiego by cornering a mare named Iron Snatch.
>She's not what her name sounds like, but after a firefight she decides to cooperate and is willing to tell him what she knows about Caramel Sandiego.
>Unfortunately, she slips on the wet floor and falls down the stairs, so she'll be unable to say anything. Spike calls in the meat wagon.
>>27590573
And in the distance, 32's voice echoes:
'I like you, let's hang out.'
>>27591124
I thought he got over that?
>>27590573
Tripped at the first hurdle.
Night Thread
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~~
>Huh. Should I question why my wife is skipping off, being followed by a screaming Applejack and a grumpy Chrysalis?
"Nope!"
>You sure? That seems like something I should question.
"Nuh uh! No questions here!"
>I reeeeallly feel like questioning this. Just to know why Cadence is so happy, I wanna know that.
"Shiny, I'm going to be honest here, you could question it, that's a thing you could do, but there's a catch. If you question it.... you're a part of it."
>Really?
"Can't escape it. If you question it, all this fun ends, and you have to go do prince things and deal with a grumpy AJ and a pouty Chrysalis. Either you just let it go...or you have to go deal with all of it."
>Hrm..
"Orrr... you could keep having fun with your buddy Pinkie."
>...hrmmm...
"Ehh? Ehhhh? I have ballooooons."
>...hmmmnn... nngggmmm...
"...ehhhhh?"
>...Well, Cadence is smiling, she's obviously having a good time.
"Riiiight?"
>So if I got in there, there's a one percent chance I'd ruin it.
"Minimum!"
>And I'm having fun over here, and if I leave it it's a hundred percent chance it's over on this.
"Perfect math!"
>So if there's a one percent chance I'll make Caddy not happy anymore, and a hundred percent chance I myself won't be happy... you know what? Let's just stick with this, this is working.
"That'a boy! Follow the pink party pony and lets have more fun!"
>There's probably some questionable implications about all this-
"Yeah, but are you going to question it, or are you going to bounce?"
>...is that an inflatable house, whatever it's name may be?
"That it iiiisss!"
>...And thus, I'm done thinking.
"WHHHHHEEEEEEE!"
>>27591889
There's an infidelity joke to be made here, but I just am too classy to make it.
>>27592356
She is a pink temptress, that she is.
>Celestia
"Luna"
'Assassin'
-Pommel-
"Sister, we have brought the fiend."
-And I brought the guard. Not the ones who brought in the camel slaver but they're up to the task of playing hoofball linestallion for this guy.-
~Hike!~
-Buckler that was just a metaphor, stop posing like that.-
~Aw...~
>Very well...so, here you are.
'Uhm...uh...hi?'
>Sister, please, take a seat beside me.
"Of course!"
>Now, state your name.
'...m...my name?'
>Yes.
'...Lord...Ruby...Delicatessen.'
>...
"..."
~Of the Neigh Jersey Delicatessens?~
-Shush, Buckler.-
>I'm going to ask you to refrain from lying to us, it's only going to make things worse on you.
'Worse? How could this get worse!?'
>You've committed a grave crime, one that I thought my ponies incapable of. True, in times of heightened tensions they have proven brash, prejudiced, and capable of the most idiotic actions one can imagine...
"But even at their most foolish, the ponies of Equestria at least believed they were helping their people, blinded by their ignorance!"
>...but there was nothing ignorant about what you did. It reeked of something different altogether: Desperation.
"Cloaked in the guise of hatred, you sought to obfuscate your artifice. But now, now your disguise it stripped away to reveal the vile worm underneath!"
'I...uh...I...I...'
>There's only hope now to keep you from facing a fate fitting what you've done.
"And We think you know what it is."
'...wh...what do you want to know?'
>Let's start with your name.
'...Tubbs...Tubbs Canoli.'
~...wow, that's like naming your kid Diabetes Lardgut.~
-Buckler!-
>>27592997
>Buckler
Okay, that this guy did not turn to a life of crime is the most shocking thing in this.
>>27593468
Fun fact! He's been around FOREVER! That's the guy 77 cut when he first showed up.
>>27592997
Cannot tell if Buckler's a smart ass or just reeeeally dumb...
Morning, thread
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.
"Plus me, Rarity~"
>In your dreams.
Rarity smiles.
"Already there, darling."
>Whatever. What do you have for me?
"Actually, I'm curious if the Filly Scouts came back?"
>They...yes. Yes they came back. They thought Ah' was joking about telling them to stop coming.
"Ahh, then what did you do?"
>Ah' told them to leave.
"Did they?"
>Eeeyup.
"Did they give you puppy dog eyes?"
>Yup. Still told them to leave.
"Did you end up buying cookies from them?"
>......huh. Ah' did...weird.
"They'll be back tomorrow then."
>Hmmm...Ah' guess Ah've been too easy on them. Third time's the charm. Ah' guess this problem is still unresolved, but catch me next time on...the Fireside.
>>27594601
HAVE
SEX
NOW
>>27594601
Oh, AJ, it's already too late.
>>27593803
That's how good of a smart ass he is! Just enough to keep you guessing
Who is Buckler again? Think I may have missed a story, work and all...
>>27594959
Just a guard.
pic related, but with 10 interviewing Chitania.
>>27595547
...pretty much sums her up, yeah.
>Actarius
“JJ”
‘???’
~~~
>Alright, I think I’ve got it figured out again-WHOA!
“Whoa what!? WHOA WHAT!?”
‘Helloooo.’
>Uh…
“Is that someone else!? Is someone else in there with you?”
>…No?
“You are seeing someone else, aren’t you!”
>JJ it’s not like that.
“I knew it! There was someone there the whole time!”
>It’s not what you think!
“Are they taller than me? Shorter? Go on, tell me all about them!”
>Why would that matter?
“It matters to me! I wanna know who’s with you!”
>Look, this just sorta happened and it’s not what it sounds like.
“It sounds like you’re with someone else!”
>Well… I mean, I guess, but it’s not what you think-
“I know what I think and I think it! You think I can’t hear? That I wouldn’t find out? I was gonna hear it somehow eventually! Why try hiding it?”
>It’s… it’s uh…
“Just… is it another changeling?”
>No!
“Oh, thank goodness, I’d never hear the end of it… but that’s not better!”
>JJ…
“Now start talking mister, and no more misdirection and lies! I can’t take anymore! I’m pretty much just that as a species! TALK!”
>JJ!
“What!?”
>It’s a painting.
“…”
>And it talked.
“…Ah, I see.”
>…
“…So are you-“
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
“There it is….AHHHHHH!”
>>27596157
Ghosts now, really?
Damn Lavan!
>>27594616
That one wasn't even sexy!
>DT
“Silver Spoon”
~~~
“Okay, who keeps trying to put me in skintight spandex?”
>It’s standard superhero gear.
“It’s creepy is what it is! Who wears this!?”
>Superheroes.
“You don’t wear it!”
>I’m a tactical superhero, different.
“Well, then let me be a tactical one!”
>We can’t have two tactical superheroes on a team. That’s just not done.
“You can have more than one!”
>But then how will we compliment each other’s abilities while also providing enough differences so that we’re not confused for each other?
“What abilities does spandex give me!?”
>Better backflips?... Look, I just don’t want us to have two of the same thing on a team. It’s just not done.
“Lots of soldiers with similar abilities work on the same thing, that’s literally the whole point of a battalion!”
>Yeah but…
“But what!?’
>What about the toy sales?
“Who cares about toy sales!?”
>…everybody.
“Fine then, you wear the spandex!”
>No! It makes TBRLIATU misfire, he gets snagged on it. He’s got a hair trigger as it is!
“Then… I dunno, give me body armor, not tactical armor! Tactical armor makes good toys!”
>Ehhhh…
“…”
>Fine, I’ll forward it to the marketing team.
“Thank you!”
>…
“Tell me it wasn’t you who wanted the spandex.”
>It wasn’t me, I don’t care what you look like.
“…”
>Feel better?
“Not remotely, that actually brings up a lot of uncomfortable questions.”
>>27596614
This is Hollywood, SS.
Get ready for a lot of this.
>Trixie
“Guard”
~~~
>THIS IS BULLSHIT! TRIXIE DID GOOD! SHE’S A HERO! SHE ACTUALLY WON A MAGICAL DUEL FOR ONCE! SHE BESTED A STUDENT OF CELESTIA AND APPLEJACK! TRIXIE DEMANDS HER FREEDOM AND CONGRATULATIONS!
“I do not get paid enough for this.”
>SHE WAS GOING TO BECOME A PRINCESS FOR THIS!
>Lightning Dust
~~
>Iiinnnteresting.
She hadn’t questioned before why someone had discreetly slipped a note under her door, and she wouldn’t still. Because the why didn’t matter, what mattered was the how. How exactly someone had managed to slip past Wonderbolt security to do this was all she cared about.
>No alarms, no warning, they must’ve slipped in and out before anyone noticed.
She didn’t even bother opening the door, never for a second considering someone might still be there.
>I could probably catch them, but where’s the fun in that?
She pushed all thoughts aside, and threw caution to the wind, and opened the envelope. There was no poison or trap inside, just a letter.
>Very interesting.
A letter, professionally typed, neatly presented, and shining with the best materials money could buy down to the real gold leaf stamp.
>Well then…
All of that paled in comparison to what the envelope said.
>An interesting offer.
She took a second, looking all around to make sure she was alone. When she was sure none were peeking in, and none were spying, she discreetly slipped the note into her jacket, and gave it a nice pat.
>It couldn’t hurt to at least consider it… could it?
All the rest of the day, her cadets would wonder why she was smiling as brightly as the sun.
>>27597232
Well, fuck. Who's teaming up with her now?
>SA
"Pinkie"
~~~
"Soooo? One to ten, how amazing is it?"
>How did you do this?
"Shhhh, don't worry about how, just worry about the why. And the why is, why not?"
>I'm having a hard time arguing with that.
"Darn tootin'! So, one to ten, how good we talking?"
>One to ten on the giant fountain that shoots cotton candy?... Ten, definitely ten.
"Awesome! Another focus group tested! Partyland Two is going to be awesome!"
>Are you just using our time together to test future rides for your amusement park?
"Do you care?"
>...Nope.
"That's why I like you! LETS DANCE!"
>>27597385
>PD
>Discord
>Sunset
>Unnamed third party
Take your pick.
>>27597086
No, you weren't. But you would forever have bragging rights. Actual ones, not the ones you have now.
>Chitania
"???"
'???'
~~~~
She was going to start hitting things.
She didn't know when she'd stop.
>WHERE IS SHE!?
A more paranoid type would quite reasonably, assume that she had been duped, and even now a hoard of Canterlot's finest were on their way to challenge her while she was weak, thereby allowing Sunset to torture the information she sought right out of her and lavish in the praise of Canterlot while she did it.
She was not a paranoid type.
So, instead of preparing for the onslaught she did not believe would come, she just punched a lot, and tried to ignore the voices in her head that had not left her be.
It was going to be a long day.
>Maybe I should try to just put on a disguise and go-GAH!
Or so she thought.
In a flash of light and a brilliant show of magic, at last, her newest ally against those who would bring her low returned.
It did not take long for her to notice something was off.
"ARRRRGHHHH!"
That helped the investigation greatly.
>What in love's name happened to you?
The pony spun on her, rage apparent in her eyes and hooves stamping in irritation every time she so much as twitched. So lost in her anger, she was even willing to point it squarely at the Titan herself, glaring her down with bloodshot eyes.
>Well?
"FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHAT!"
She almost recoiled, truly having no real idea how to respond to such brazen and genuine spite in the much smaller pony's voice.
>You look like you fell into a dragon mid flame bath.
"And you look like a... thing! A dumb thing! A really... thing!"
She sputtered and spat, hooves still trampling the dirt beneath her as if to crush the life out of the ground itself, and Chitania couldn't help but find it amusing.
>Did you at least get what you were after?
Sunset's response, whatever it may have been, never got a chance to emerge.
'Chitty!'
1/3
>>27597838
All attention went to the happy white mare clinging to her monolithic leg, and the way her tail swung back and forth in eagerness and joy.
>Ah, I see.
'I knew you wouldn't leave me there! I knew you'd come back for me! Everyone was sayin' you'd just forget about me, but I knew better! Thank you thank you thank yoooouuu!'
Wisely, or at least comparatively wisely, Chitania did not mention she hadn't actually thought that Sunset would go for her, and any rescue of any kind had been planned for much, much later.
>Excellent work, Sunset, I-
"FUCK YOU, IT WASN'T WORTH IT!"
She, and thankfully Sweet Note, chose not to comment on that.
>Is there any chance you saw...
She didn't say the name, nor did it seem necessary. There was only one other body on this planet she cared for, and everyone knew it.
'Sorry, Sugar Bean, but she ran back to go be with the other changelings.'
Sagely, the massive Queen nodded. It was for the best, she supposed. In her current state, she was in no condition to protect her daughter as she should be. If nothing else, her niece's pride would prevent her from letting any other harm the changeling.
>We will deal with that later, but for now, we have bigger issues to worry about... are you really going to keep huffing?
The pony, who had up to this point been angrily kicking up dirt, froze and spun, redirecting the entirety of her rage square at the changeling once again.
"FUCK! YOU!"
>Very well. Well, with Sweet Note secured, we should be heading out.
'Ain't ya' gonna take that stuff?'
>What stuff... oh my.
She had wondered why they had brought the hospital bed.
>Well, that's just impressive.
How the pony had managed to fit all of her possessions onto it, she dared not even question. It had to be magic holding them all together, that was the only explanation that made sense. Nothing else cold keep the various metal scraps and vials of strange liquids stuck together and unbroken.
2/3
>>27597845
>You're exceeding expectations, Sunset.
"FUCK YOOOUUUU!"
>In some areas at least... is she alright?
'Um...'
Nervously, the mare's face scrunched, and she did her very best not to look at the burning glare being thrown her way.
'She's... fine?'
>Uh huh.... are you about done?
"DAMN IIIITTT!"
The tree before them would never be the same.
Literally, it had somehow changed into a rosebush, even Chitania wasn't questioning that one.
"...fuck, I just wanted to... why the fuck did she have to just... this all could've been so easy, you know!"
Nor was she questioning the rant.
"Let's just... fucking go."
Or, for that matter, where the pony was going exactly when she started stomping off.
Chitania was questioning very little in her life, she noticed.
>Very well... are you well enough to walk?
The wobbling salute was every bit as fake and transparent as the earth pony's attempt to walk.
'Y-yep! Just fine, don't worry about me, I can keep up! I can-WHOA!'
>I'm not having you slow me down.
Sweet Note, also, was not questioning very much in her life.
Not that many would question why Chitania of all beings would carry them instead of just enjoying the ride.
'...t-thanks...'
>Sunset, do you feel like sharing where we're going?
"Oh, you want to know where we're going? You really want to know?"
Strange, thought the Titan, something about her voice was off. Something about it sounded...
"...we're going right to the top, Chitania... and we're making every one of them regret thinking we belonged any lower than that."
...familiar.
All the same...
Chitania wasn't complaining.
>About time.
>>27597850
>They try to Kaiju fight again
>They're all so beaten up as shit they die of over exertion five minutes in
>And there was much rejoicing
>>27597850
Not so smug anymore, eh sunny?
>Dash
"Fluttershy"
~~
>Fluttershy! I need a favor.
"Oh, of course! What can I help you with?"
>I need you to make it legal for me to rainboom buildings without a permit.
"...Several questions-"
>No time! Just sign it into law real quick!
"Several sad things I need to tell you-"
>Stop talking and just sign it!
"I can sign whatever I want, it's not going to-"
>Then sign it!
"I feel like you're not listening to-"
>Sign sign sign!
"...Okay, fine. Signed."
>YES! Knew I could count on you!
ZOOM!
"....I don't even feel bad for that one, hopefully her seeing what I wrote down will be punishment enough."
>>27598140
>It's just a picture of dickbutt
Please be true please be true please be true
>>27598207
I almost snorted coffee through my nose you ass!
>>27598140
Somewhere, someone is dead, and there is a body that needs buried.
She should really question things more often
>>27597850
Huh. Is she upset she lost, or does she actually feel remorse for what she did?
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~~
>HA HA! She's busy!
'You do realize there will, presumably, be a point where she is not busy, right?'
>...Did not think that one through.
"HAH!"
>Ah'm gettin' this from the queen of never thinkin' things through?
"That would actually be Celestia, I would think. Not a Queen specifically, as she's not badass enough to actually warrant being called a Queen, but in general. How many times has she actually thought through who she sends to save the day?"
>How many times ain't it worked, versus how many times yer' plans worked?
"...We are enemies again."
'Now just sit down and wait, this will be good for all of us! The minute Auntie Celly is done talking to that criminal, we're going to set up a super special dignitary meeting for training! You're both going to be political wiz kids before this is over!'
"I would like to remind I am actually good at politics, just uh... short term ones."
>And Ah' would like ta' remind Ah'm not changin' a thing and what happens is yer' fault.
'Nonsense, you'll both be fine!'
"We're going to start a war, aren't we?"
>Eeeeyup.
"I call dibs on riding whatever Twilight makes to fight it into battle."
>Oh come on!
>>27598982
>Bringing Celly into the banter.
Yes!
>>27598982
Dunno why but that last part reminded me of the avengers, specifically that scene with Loki and Stark, something like,
"I've got a Juggernaut Mach 6.2. What've you got, appleass?"
>Ah've got a Centitrain.
>>27599127
Celestia is not going to really add much to this but a way for AJ to continue to blameshift and turn the tables. Which, while fun, is not productive for applehorse.
Then again the bit here changed from 'Cadence can into ecopolitical situations' to 'no matter what, Chrysalis can't stop being creepy and AJ is her way or no way'. So Celestia can be a good straight man for that.
>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~
>...How did we get this job, again?
"I think I may have wolfwhistled at sub-commander Daw."
>She's not official.
"I have found no evidence to support that. You?"
>I might've gotten drunk and peed in the breakroom sink.
"...That seems way worse than I did."
>The captain isn't shagging the sink.
"Got me there. So... what does it eat anyway?'
~SCREEEEEEEE!~
>...
"...FUCK THIS!"
Cenitrain watched them go, and just barely managed not to sigh.
She really wished she could just open the giant bag of beetles herself...
>>27599405
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN CHITTY ATTACKED!?
>>27599597
not around because thanks to infusions the electricity is not needed and the bulk was easily countered by normal Chitty, so would have been useless.
That and someone has to let her out, so blame the two putzes watching her.
>>27599597
She got her ass kicked when Chitty was normal sized.
You want to know where she was?
>SCREEEE... OH HELL NO!
>Cantie
"Cantie 2"
~~~
>Did everyone just go fucking crazy?
"Yes. It happened. We all snapped because of the constant battles and threats to our survival, you're just the last one to notice."
>Phew!
"...that is not the response I wanted."
>I'm just saying, now I can do this and not feel bad!
BLAM BLAM BLAM!
>YEEEHHAAAWW!
"GAH! Why the fuck are you shooting a gun into the air!?"
>Because we all done gon crazy, woohoo!
"I was being sarcastic!"
>Oh...
"..."
>...Want to join me?
"...yes."
>>27599783
Sooo is the plan still to evict all of them, replace them with nicer better ponies and pretend the original ones never existed?
>>27599940
Nope.
It's to make them better, by finally knocking them off their high horse and taking down their preconceived notions about superiority or hate, but also understanding their legitimate problems and addressing them. Making them better not through force or simply making them leave, but by helping them with their problems, and not dismissing them just because they're 'snooty' or 'too rich to care about'Cause fixing it is better.
>>27600007
Good. I hated that other plan.
>>27599940
this
>>27600007
and the fact we tried that with the guard and it lasted about four or five threads before every guard Pommel doesn't know was back to being a dick. Compare the guys who were overjoyed about locking up Trixie vs the ones who interacted with the Changelings back during Christmas.
>>27600127
>and the fact we tried that with the guard and it lasted about four or five threads before every guard Pommel doesn't know was back to being a dick.
???
They've been pretty much nice guys since then, and including the sideguard's arc extremely effective. You can't even really call the guys dealing with Trixie dicks, they thought she wrecked a hospital, and they know she once took over a town. you don't even get shit from them to the changelings anymore, nobody acted like a dick to 13 post Chitty smashing even.
Seriously, when have the guards been dicks?
>>27600007
As long as it's not one of those "I'm gonna make things worse before it gets better" plot lines, go nuts.
>Jet
“Spike”
~~~
>You know, far be it from me to be a pessimist buuuut….
“Speak your mind, Jet, what’s on your chest?”
>The suffocating sensation that this is going to end in nothing but tears. Our tears.
“Well, two friends crying together is better than crying alone, right?”
>I don’t think I like that analogy.
“Yeah, didn’t really tickle me coming out, I’ll admit that.”
They had to wonder just when it had clicked, came to life like it had. They remembered being led by Celestia, following her ethereal tail very closely… and then there was a glitch of sorts, like reality itself had hit a snag and fragmented, and then there was no more room.
Only great reaching plains, plains of sweetly smelling green grass that caused the gears in both Jet and Spike’s heads to grind to a confusing halt.
“…Don’t suppose you were watching where the princess was leading us, eh?”
>Noooot really? I mean, she was leading, and she’s good at that, leading things. Besides, when being led by one of such upstanding royalty, all one need do is put their trust in-
“She has a great butt, Jet, you can say it. Not to sound like my bro Fifty-Six but she does, and it’s okay to get distracted by it once in awhile."
>LIES!
“Unnecessarily loud-”
>LIES AND SLANDER AND IT’S NOT TRUE I WOULD NEVER GAZE AT MY PRINCESS LIKE THAT!
“…You done yet, man?”
>For the moment. Is this that mystical box of simulation I’ve heard so much about?
“You mean the augmented reality… bending… photons… thing? Screw it, the fakebox?”
>I highly doubt it’s called the fakebo-
“It is now. Anyway, you’re asking if we’re in the fakebox? Yeah, I think so, sure feels like it.”
>Been here before, have you?
Even before he spoke, there was something telling about the way Spike glanced around, like he was seeing things only he could fathom. And then he smiled.
“Once or twice, waaaay back when, ya’ know? Good times, good times….”
1/2
>>27600433
>Normally, one doesn’t look like they just swallowed a dire slug when reminiscing of the good times….
“Oh, what? Noooo, no, no, no, they really were good times! Really! Totally….”
>Your right eye’s twitching.
“Muscle spasm. It’ll pass. ‘Sides, this? This right here feels… so different, compared to back then. Way less hostile. Almost feels like a complete one-eighty, all tranquil and stuff.”
>There’s no hiding that metallic undertone, the presence of science, of being watched from far away. As stunningly lifelike as this is, because I could swear I smell bread baking somewhere, it shouldn’t be that hard to separate reality from simulation.
“Ha, you’d be surprised….”
>But speaking of separation… how exactly do we get out of here?
“Normally you’re not let out until someone either manually does it, or you meet the requirement for entering in the first place.”
>It has to be the former, then.
“How d’ya figure?”
>Because my queen wouldn’t just stick us in here without telling us why.
‘Oh, wouldn’t I?’
Neither Spike or Jetset jumped when that voice, so pleasantly familiar yet filled with teasing mirth, seemed to echo from everywhere, all at once.
Spike couldn’t help but laugh when Jetset grimaced.
“As you were saying, Jet?”
>Shut up. Just… shut up.
2/2Celestia is still free to use if ya need.
>>27600450
Curious, yet cautious...
Right so Assassin Anon here, we're in the home stretch of this side bit but I ran into a teensy roadblock:
I got no clue what fittingly illegal thing should be in that damn cellar. Guns don't seem to be all that regulated in Equestria, drugs would require some figuring out as to what exactly they'd be (unless cocaine just exists in this world...which honestly it might), mares being trafficked would be derivative of the 29/Sideguard thing only this time it's like five Italian stereotypes with grease guns vs the full might of the guard with Peacetrotters. I did have an idea for them to be trying to brew their own kind of infusion down there to undercut PD, but that would require someone who knew how to make them and while I did have an idea on that as well it'd kick the legs out if literally anyone had designs onthat doctor dude and his weird mutant pseudo changeling wife.
So I leave it to the consensus, what should be down the crimehole?All of the above is a valid answer if you want full absurdity and to probably collectively break the Guards' minds.
>>27600686
Hrm... actually? It would work best if it was something unique, something that actually had been having an effect on the place for a while. In order for the joke really to land, but still be a unique enough thing that it seems serious, we kind of have to toe the line between absurdity, because this is a magical Realm which while it does have a lot of the real world problems it has them through a absurdist and magical. For this, you would want something that seems serious, but still takes people back and it allows them to laugh at it. If it has a real world counterpart it also will fit.
My proposal?Counterfeit sugar, which they have been selling to all the highest bakeries, that carry with it serious health risks and has been undercutting or threatening out of business the law abiding Growers.
>>27600755
I should notethis is going to lead to tieing up that Baltimare thread by having whatever it is either coming from or being sent to the city in question. I'm hurling myself on that grenade for the good of the thread, I just needed an actual reason for someone to go there to investigate beyond 'Hooker friend of an enemy of the state said it was bad'.
>>27600686
Drugs would work best, as a counterfeit infusions surprisingly wouldn't actually be that bad, because they are new and those are not regulated. Like, this would be big to PD, as far as Prosecuting them goes there's no law against making something like this. They could have done it legitimately and they wouldn't have needed to cover anything. In fact, it actually would fall more into a trademark or copyright infringement than a criminal one. So, I'd say drugs would be the best idea for the story. as its relatable, you can make up something funny for what it does, and it addresses something AJ can deal with.
>>27600755
>they've been making aspertain to replace sugar the whole time
OH MY GOD
IT'S TRUE EVIL
>>27600769
Well the hooker never said it was bad to AJ, we the audience only know what she was talking about thanks to us knowing where she came from, but I see your point.
That said, that fact actually makes my proposal more like the real-life equivalent, as theolive oil trade is quite bloody and mostly about importing and exporting all over the world, Baltimare being a coastal town really helps that out considering they don't have mass of air travel.Yes, olive oil. It's seriously the biggest cause of mob violence in the world and prevent most of us from ever actually getting true virgin olive oil.
>>27600755
...huh, you know? That would actually be pretty funny, and free of the whole drama drama drama stuff of actually trying to introduce a real world problem.
I like it a lot better than drugs or human trafficking
>>27600797
Ok. You fucking win.
That is...that is too goddamned hilarious not to do. Just for the record, what exactly is harmful about counterfeit sugar? I mean it'd probably get Celly's dander up considering it'd probably be keeping her subjects from knowing the true joys of cake that she has experienced, but to save me some research and give everyone Celly and Luna back quicker, what would does it do?
>>27600836The equivalent of the olive oil trade mostly has the danger being from the fake stuff they make having chemicals in the that, while it gives the taste, are dangerous to consume, and a lot that have been outright banned because they cause cancer. They outright lie about what is inside them, and then go after the actual Growers to keep the supply Limited so that they hold all the cards when it comes to marketing it.
Fake sugar? Give it the same principal, but hey, magic. Say they are making it by a magical something-or-other that's outright banned because it causes some horrible side effect if consumed too much, or it has a long-term effect on older folks that wouldn't be noticeable right away, or just have it be something silly. Fake sugar can be cut together with pretty much anything white and powdery, so hey, maybe have it so that they are the first ones who discovered cocaine, and they are cutting it with the sugar without actually knowing what it does. But since it doesn't have any use and seems dangerous, they can sell it for super cheap. And so long as they keep the actual people growing it under their thumbs, they can essentially own the market through intimidation and undecutting prices, like in real life. Or go to the real world route of having them sell tainted sugar after dousing it with banned chemiclas, like some companies do in real life.
The principal is there, just have fun with whatever direction fits, it can go a LOT of ways.
>>27600755
Oh god yes.
Cells reaction will be legendary.
>>27600905
You got it, I'll have this out by tomorrow.Hopefully this guy's punishment will be bad enough without it going over the top. Also I hope I've included Luna enough here.
Also point of order, I'm pretty sure Sweet Note talked about how crappy her home was to AJ, and Aj found out it was Baltimare later. I specifically know Pommel was given an earful about it.
>>27601086
AJ never learned what city she was talking about or where she came from. Pom did, but that was only because he also came from there. By the time he learned it though, AJ was already on her vacation and long gone, and never came up post that.
She has zero idea it was that City, and that was kind of the point.
Goodnight thread
>>27601698
Morning!
HIRO KILL YOURSELF AND LIVESTREAM IT
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Alpha]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we have monster owned loli/shota farms!
'Okay, seriously. We're going to have to beat up kids. Don't bother to hold back.'
"I don't...I don't feel comfortable with that."
>I don't think we're going to get that choice. We just need to hold out until Luna can sortie enough night guards to handle this.
"But there's so many of them."
'Yep...we'll try to save some for Luna.'
A Dream Eater, who's distinguished by a gold band on her trunk, steps forward.
[You made us lose some crops. You're quite troublesome.]
>That sounds like us. This pink posse likes to get into trouble.
[Ahh, you're in deep trouble this time then because you're going to be part of the feast.]
>Oh, what are we having doc?
[Hahaha...YOU!]
>I was afraid of that.
And like that, a thundering force of hunger and the indoctrinated come crashing towards 3 pink ponies with full intent of turning them into a meal...
'FIERCE ROCKETS'
"DETERMINED ARROWS!"
>PRODUCT PLACEMENT CANNON!
Only they won't be an easy meal.
>Battle song please!
Hey hey life in the dreamfarm~
>>27602612
Yea! Beat up those kids! Kickem in the ass
Wait...
>>27600686
Don't forget they also firebombed all the other pizza places in canterlot.
>>27602537
Yeah, that outage was fun
>>27602952
I have no qualms with this line of thinking.
Fuck kids
a part of me thinks a lot of things could have been solved if sunset didn't quit smoking while dead.
>AJ
"Chrysalis"
'Cadence'
~~~~
>Ya' know, while we're on the subject of trainin' fer' politics...
'Yeeesss?'
"I feel like my day is about to get a lot brighter."
>Now, promise ya' ain't gonna laugh.
"Confirmed!"
>Ah'm serious here, ya' can't laugh at me, no matter what'cha think!
'Applejack, of course not! If it's involved with bettering you ability to provide ties between nations, why would I ever mock it? No matter how silly or inconsequential it seems, not matter how crazy it sounds, nothing could ever make me believe it is anything less than completely valid. All things, no matter how small, matter when it comes to politics, as you'll soon find out! Now I can't make promises for a certain SOMEBODY!'
"I'm mentally recording this, fyi."
'I would like to point out I can make her sleep with the rest of the changelings if she acts up. I have that power.'
"YOU MONSTER!"
>...Fine. Look, it's just...
'Yeesss?'
>Okay, none of ya'll were around, so you wouldn't know this, but when Celestia first came down ta' Ponyville, we had a dinner party and... well, Ah'm just not sure where ya' start when it comes ta' eatin' like that. Do Ah' pick up a fork? Start with the farthest dish? What's the deal there?
'...'
"..."
>...Guys? Ya'... ya' got this weird look on yer' faces, what's the deal-
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
'AHHHHHHHHHH!'
"NOT AGGAAAIIINNNNNN!"
'WE WILL NEVER LEAVE NEVER LEAVE NEVER LEEEEAVE!'
"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!''
>...Well, ya' ain't screamin', Ah' guess that's a win.
"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"'
>>27603947
>ain't laughing
FTFY
>>27603947
>AJ in Table Manners
YES
MAKE IT HAPPEN
>SA
"Pinkie"
~???~
~~~
>...This is supposed to be the hottest club in Manehatten?
"Yeah, isn't it great?"
>Okay, first off, this is directly above an abandoned and decrepit building, with raccoons. I saw raccoons down there.
"That just makes it better by comparison!"
>Second, it's the top floor of a building, this cannot be safe.
"Danger adds to the thrills!"
>Third, that is a small dancefloor.
"You mean exclusive!"
>Fourth, there's a grand total of one bouncer there.
"All you need, baby!'
>Fifth... I count, like, three ponies out there. One of whom looks freakishly like you with a weird hairdo.
"Like I said, exclusive! Doesn't get more exclusive than the minimum amount of ponies it takes to get a piano up the stairs!"
>Fifth... okay, what the fuck!? Is that bouncer seriously not letting us onto the dance floor!?
"Exclusive, Shiny!"
>You've saved the world umpteen billion times! You're the whole reason that these guys aren't under a tyrannical rule, besieged by insane chaos or DEAD!
"Hey, I didn't do it for the fame."
>They should know who you are!
"I know, sucks they don't, right? But them's the breaks."
>Bigger than that, he's not letting me in there! I'm the damn prince of an entire empire!
"Nobody cares."
>...
"It's true."
>Even still, I-wait, is that a pacifier!?
"Yeah? So?"
>The only possible reason to have a pacifier in a dance club is if you're planning on taking ecstasy so that you don't bite your tongue off, she's literally showing this place if full of drugs-
~HE'S ONTO US! CHEESE IT!~
STAMPEDE!
SLAM!
>...
"...how did you know about the pacifier thing?"
>...
"Shiny?"
>...
"Shiiiiinnnyyyy?"
>This was not worth the train ticket.
>>27604243
I knew Shiny was a wild motherfucker in his youth.
>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
~???~
~~~~
>Alright, that's it! Our partner in the crime that is life hath dallied too long, and no more can I stand it!
"She has been gone a weirdly long time, where do you suppose she went?'
'Not to deride her or consider her problems useless bulk, but she was upset and perhaps went off to sulk?'
>If so, then I bring my ire! Even as I toiled away doing mine tasks so great-
"AKA mostly busywork anyone could do."
>-Never did I go off and make a show of my pain!
"Except for the multiple times you went into the crying corner and bugged changelings until they asked you what your problem was."
>Nay! I suffered as all should, in silence!
"Loud, loud silence."
>For her to do any less is a sign that mayhaps she still has much left to learn!
"You two hanging out makes way more sense now than it did yesterday."
'Marey, do not chide our friends again. Not that he doesn't deserve it, but at this rate his head will spin. Instead, let us go our, and search for our friend of magic and of ego. Maybe we will find her doing something useful, no one will truly ever know.'
>Ah, yes. Perhaps I have been too hasty, too quick. Tis possible she is bettering herself. Why, a chance so great is that she is out there this very moment, bringing joy and happiness to children! Perhaps, as we slack, she is sending a great many to the happy place, where they will be filled with joy. Perhaps, just perhaps, I was wrong-
~Are you "Twenty Nine?~
>GAH!... Damned guard, how did thou sneak up on me!?
~You were so loud, an elephant could have managed it.~
>Racist!
~...~
>Sorry, reflex. Thou were saying?
~The annoying asshole down in the prison wants you to tell the mayor of Ponyville to let her out.~
>...prison?
"Er, why didn't you just tell me?"
~Why would I do that? Do you know her?
"..."
'Dick.'
"Niney? Is that Crying Corner still available?"
~Her name, as she keeps reminding us, is-~
>Fairly certain I know which one, thank thee.
~....Well?~
>FUUUUUUUUUU-
>>27604065
Ah shit did it die again
>>27604587
Did what die again?
>Cloudchaser
"Derpy"
'Octavia'
~~~~
>...I have several questions.
'AHHHHHHHH!'
"What's up, CC?"
'AHHHHHHHH!'
>You're not going to believe this, I just say the weirdest thing.
'AHHHHHHH!'
"Is it related to the screaming?"
>Yeah, pretty much. I think she's trying to distract me.
'WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'
>No no, don't make this about me. See? She is trying to throw me off.
"Sounds like it."
'THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?'
>See? More deflection, I just don't get it. What does she think I'm going to do, just ignore this? You, madam, you fool no one.
'GET AWAY FROM ME!'
>Me? Excuse me, I'm not the one who should be moving.
"You think she means me?"
>Entirely possible.
'OUT OUT OUT OUT!'
>Please, indoor voice.
'GET OUT OF HERE!'
>I will, I swear it, just tell me... are you seriously making tea in the shower? That is so dangerous. You could seriously slip and scald yourself.
'Normal ponies do this, thank you! Not that you'd know!'
"WHOA! Gonna go right there? That's mean!"
>Right? Here I am looking out for her safety, warning her of possible danger, and she's insulting me.
"Safety is important!"
>So sad not everyone understands this.
'AHHHHHHHHHHhhhh...'
>Don't run on wet floors! You can slip-
SLAM!
>Typical.
"...So now that she's gone-"
>Start pulling, we have to dislodge my head and patch up the hole in her ceiling before the guard get here, that way they'll never know.
"But what about anyone who can see-"
>THEY WILL NEVER PROVE IT!
>>27604508
Does Equestria have bail?
If so, that's going to cost him.
>>27604817
>Octavia is maiking tea in the shower
>She is the least crazy pony in the room
That takes real effort.
>>27603786
...explain. I am morbidly curious.
>>27605104
Applejack told her to get a vice
she became a smoker for like a week until she died, then she gave it up because... reasons
>>27605155
She gave it up post-death because she couldn't feel it anymore, it wasn't hurting her(as her lungs didn't work properly enough to let it sink in) and it wasn't making her feel better(as those same effects prevented any nicotine stuff from reaching her brain)
Post death, she would've essentially been breathing weird and bothering everyone for no reason.
>Daisy
"Roseluck"
'???'
~~~
>The horror! THE HORROR!
"What happened now? Bee fly by and spook you? A rabbit looked at you menacingly? Spilled the chocolate milk... again?"
>No! Worse than all of that!
"Not an accomplishment."
>Someone cut down all my flowers!
"Oh. That actually is bad. Who would have done this?"
>I don't know, but it gets worse!
"That's actually worrying now."
>Someone broke into my house and smashed all of my pots! All of them!
"That's actually really bad, yeah, that's breaking and entering and destruction of property, you are not over reacting on this one. But just your pots?"
>Just them! Nothing else!
"Weird... that's weird. Hey, buddy! You seen anything weird going on around here?"
'HEEYAH!'
"Is... is that a no?"
'...'
>You don't have to be rude!
'Huwah!
"Fine, dick! Sorry for messing up your oh so important day!... Jerk."
>Right? Thinks just because he has a cart full of gems he's above us.
"Green hatted twink."
>...what was I doing?
"The horror.'
>Right! THE HORROR!
>>27605462
I was waiting for this
>>27605504
It took me a second, thanks to not remembering that.
>>27605462
>Fluttershy
"???"
~~~
>Um... mister giant pig, I know I said I'm willing to help all animals and protect them whenever they need my help, but um... do you really need help? You have swords. Big swords.
"Look, just trust me on this one, and hide me for a couple weeks. And DON'T put the key to my room an in easily accessible chest. You know what? Just leave the key with me. And any weapons that can hurt me. Just don't, been burned a time or two on that one."
>Oh, okay... would it be rude to point out that I mostly deal with animals and, normally, animals don't talk?
"...oink oink?"
>You can't put that fairy back in the bottle, sir.
"OH SHIT, WHERE!? WHERE IS IT!?"
>...
"I mean, oink."
>>27605845
>Twilight
"???"
~~~
"You're sure?"
>Am... am I sure my smarts don't come from a magical triangle?
"Yes, I need to double check this in case there was a... mix up."
>No, no it is not.
"You're sure?"
>...really sure, yes.
"Phew! That's a relief... so, when you go adventuring, who do you pretend to be?"
>Huh? Nobody! I don't need to hide behind a secret identity when I go save the world, I'm a proud princess who is able to contribute to any battle effort on her own! We're long past that point where we need to hide and pretend to be someone else-
"So what about Mare Do Well?"
>WE DON'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT THAT! EVER! EEEVVVEERRRR!
>>27605945
Never forget that time you were a total asshole.
>>27605155
Sunset actually brought cigarettes with her from eqg verse. So she had a vice before she was told to get one.
>>27606108
But dash deserved it though.
>>27606151
For being a cocky asshole who sung her own praises and thought she was hot stuff.
You know, like the assholes who all jerked off the parts of Mare Do Well they just so HAPPENED to have done themselves!
Fucking hypocrites.
>Sweet Note
"Chitania"
~~~~
>Chitty? Can I ask about the rock?
"No."
>You, uh, you sure? Because it has googly eyes-
"Do not ask."
>I'm just kind of curious-
"DO. NOT."
>...
"..."
>...So, weather's nice-
"Don't."
>Awww.
>>27606327
Where did she get the Googly eyes?
>>27606388
Nobody knows.
>>27606388
Occasionally, when it's needed most, someone can channel Pinkie Power.
Not often, never intentionally, but it can be done.
>42
"32"
~~~
>For the record, if you injure yourself again, I will hurt you. Repeatedly, and with gusto. I have no qualms with keeping you in the bed with eternally broken legs.
The other changeling's fear, if he had any to show at all, was firmly disguised beneath am egotistical smirk. As if to mock the one watching his every move, he stretched out his hind leg nice and slow, letting all the kinks pop on his back as he leaned forwards on unsteady hooves.
"I'm well enough to walk, and this will speed up my recovery, thank you."
>I fail to see how movement of a wound makes it easier to heal.
"The bullet hole is closed up, you know. I've you to thank for that."
The other changeling scoffed, rolling her eyes.
>Technically, you have my benefactor Shining Armor to thank for it.
"Well! I shall certainly have to give him my thanks... in a great many ways."
The eyebrow waggle did not have the desired effect on the solider. If anything, it had the exact opposite. The smirk was nothing like he was expecting.
>By all means, give it a try. It will be quite amusing to watch him erect a barrier to keep you out for all time, like he did Twenty Nine.
"Ha! You said erect."
>Yes, I did. Because that's what it means in this context. If you wanted a different definition, too bad.
She had gotten better, he noticed.
>But, I suppose there is a silver lining to this. If you are well enough to stand and walk you are well enough you no longer require a solider of my level to guard you, I will assign someone else to be your bodyguard in the meanwhile.
"Shirking your duty? That's not at all like you."
>It's called delegation of appropriate forces.
Strangely, instead of a look of offense, he smiled.
"Well, far be it from me to question your wisdom."
>Yes, do not do that. However, if you feel a future threat will require someone of my stature, you may submit a comment. I will take it under consideration.
1/2
>>27606899
Her skin may have been solid and pitch black, but sometimes she couldn't be more transparent.
"No no, you've got your own duties to attend to, I'm sure whoever you assign will be more than capable of protecting me."
>Correct, I've no intention of looking bad by having something happen to you do to neglect by one I assign, they will perform well or they will not perform at all.
"That's the spirit!"
>I will return in under five minutes with your new guard, remain in this sealed area until such time. It is well fortified and protected, and the guard should be making a round for the duration after I leave, you will be fine until I return.
"Five minutes? A little fast, don't you think? You think you can make it to the empire and back in no time at all?"
This time, it was her turn to smirk.
>...Thirty Two?
"Yes?"
>Your recovery will not be long now, so heed this before you return to your station. If you need a recharge to perform your duties without fear, I suppose we can find the resources to spare it, on occasion. It's a dangerous world, after all.
"...that it is."
>I will be watching, in the future, do not make me intervene. We have so precious few left, after all, it would be a shame to waste any one of them... including you.
Before his very eyes, the fire consumed her, and in a flash of light and magic, she was gone.
"...Goodbye, Forty Two."
He didn't know why, his side was still killing him after all, but something he couldn't explain brought a smile to his face.
A real one, rare as it was beautiful.
"Hurry back to your family... I'm sure they miss you so."
>>27606906
Dawww, nice to see them getting along.
>>27606388
Better question... how'd she glue them on?
>>27607657
Teensy globules of greenspit?
>>27607657
She just punched them onto the rock.
They knew better than to let go.
>>27606388
NC
>Faust
"Craig"
~~
>Okay, when I made the eyes move and made the rock talk, I kinda figured she would... like, freak out or something.
"Actually seems to have just rolled with it, didn't she?"
>Right? The fuck is wrong with her?
"You think you went too far?"
>Did she drink a gallon of bleach?
"No?"
>THEN I DID NOT GO FAR ENOUGH!
>>27608039
>She drinks bleach
>It just gives her a bit of a stomach ache.
>Faust rages in the sky
>Sunset
"Chitania"
'Sweet Note'
~~~~~~
The disguise that she wore was, by far, the best she had ever been enshrouded within. The Titan tried not to think too much about the fact it had been a pony who had made it.
Sunset was quickly proving herself quite able and apt with the changeling magic that was granted t her, at a rate the Titan found, if nothing else, worrying.
'Woowww!'
One of them, at least, was having fun with it. The now bright blue 'unicorn' of the group was quick to admire herself, and her newest appendages. The information that the thing was purely cosmetic had not dampened the spirit of the mare in the least, she was far too caught up in admiring herself to notice. She turned a mirror this way and that, frequently running a hoof through her now sharp silver mane and striking a veritable catalog of poses in front of it.
>Because this isn't suspicious behavior.
In stark contrast, the 'pegasi' of the group had not stopped grousing this entire time, her red fur and mane matching her inner feelings so perfectly it had to be subconscious at the bare minimum. She had not stopped being grumpy yet, and considering her current streak that was not soon to change.
So it fell on herself, the current earth Pony who had once been a proud Queen changeling, to ask the bluntly obvious.
"Where are we going, anyway?"
It got the same response the last few times it had been asked, but she never was one to give up when someone grew annoyed at her.
"It's important, Sunset, where are we going?"
Be it through having had enough, or finally feeling safe enough she felt she could discuss it, a sigh signaled she at last gave in.
>I have no idea.
'WHAT!?'
A swift tap, thankfully forward thinking enough t aim for the shoulder rather than her still obviously badly wounded head, silenced the mare.
"What she means is, elaborate."
The prodigy groaned, her shoulders roughly shrugging.
>It's what I said it is, I have no idea... yet.
1/3
>>27608878
A bit of magic, one she was keen to mask by making the disguised mare's horn glow in case someone peered in at an inopportune time, summoned up a map before them. The grand land of Equestria, laid out and glowing before them all.
>There are several locations we could use, but right now the concern is hiding, but also having access to a lot of materials for our future project. We can't make you stronger if we're locked in some backwards ass town, but we also run a big risk if we go to one of the bigger and more influential cities. They're looking for us, they're going to notice things are missing when we take them, and they're going to come for us.
On any other day, the Titan would have challenged them to even try.
The throbbing pain and fact her head felt as if it had lead strapped to it silenced that.
"Then we need to at the very least be in an area I can drain enough to defeat them, should it arise."
>It's not so simple. There's no question, with the current corroboration between Cadence and Queen Chrysalis, they've almost certainly found a way to ensure that if someone is drained, they know about it. They'll find us quicker if we go too fast to get you back to a hundred percent.
"At least we will have the advantage of surprise."
>Which takes out one, maybe two of them, maximum. But do I need to remind you there are a bakers dozen of Princesses just waiting to try their luck? And, as we got to see first hoof, even the weakest of them have... surprises.
Even now, the ringing in her ears from that blast kept any argument of the Titan's silent.
"Fair enough. So-"
>So we need a place that is discreet, has a lot of traffic, and won't notice a bunch of ponies having... accidents. We need-
'OH! OH! OH OH OHHHH! HEY!'
She tried not to give Sweet Note the satisfaction of hearing her moan in pain when she raise her hoof.
She failed.
>Somewhere you did not come from, and they would immediately go to. I thought that was obvious.
2/3
>>27608888
'No, silly, I don't never want to go back to there anyway! That's just dumb! But that ain't all I got!'
"I thought you said you never left Baltimare?"
Sweet Note tried, and quite spectacularly failed, to keep the look of elated shock from her face at the fact Chitania had listened to at least one thing she said.
'R-right! Well... yeah, mostly right, but not right right! Cause while I ain't never been outta that place before then, that don't mean I don't know bout other spots!'
The biting comment that Sunset was clearly forming would never come to be, the Titan beat her to it.
"Very well. Do you have an area that fits our criteria?"
'Yep!'
"And that place would be?"
'Right there!'
To anyone else, it would have looked like she was just randomly pointing.
To the Titan and Unicorn, it meant so much more.
>...isn't that-
'Yep!'
"And aren't they-"
'Uh huh!'
>...So you want us to walk into a place like that-
'No guards anywhere nearby, not even close, and they get all the best stuff, Slippy bragged about it all the time! And ain't nobody gonna raise a fuss if some ponies don't get spotted, they vanish all the time round there! It's perfect!'
To anyone else, the mare would have been locked up. She would have been put away for the insanity she was proposing, and not a one would question the choice.
But the pair did not cast her aside, they did not assume her head wound had taken it's toll, nothing of the sort.
Instead...
>...you think you're up for it?
"Mmmm... it will be a good way to stretch my legs again."
They smiled.
The cloud that had hung over them both had parted, and they smiled truly again.
>This... is going to be fun.
>>27608896
Iiiinteresting
goodnight, thread.
>>27609540
And to you, anon.
>>27608896
So... what is it? Partyland's Crashsite? A Drug Den? Castle of the Two Sisters? Lavan valley? Canterlot Mines? The former Fawntaine Lab? Glimmers town of Equality?
We have plenty of horrible places for them to be at. And none of them bode good news for everyone else.
I am not looking forward to whatever it is Sunset is planning
Probably because it's the League of Evil or whatever pointlessly being evil because Sunset has gone completely off her rocker, and their going to gear up Chitania for more smashy smashy and FOR GOD'S SAKE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY
>>27610582
I wanted to write a bit of introspection on her part on why she does what she does and what her motivations are. While doing so, I realized I'd have to look really deep into the mind of someone who is either a) a broken bird or b) irredeemably evil. Both is neither fun to read nor to write.
So... uh...
I've got nothing. She's gone off the deep end, and the magic of friendship failed to catch her in time. My best hope is that she will find friendship with the unwanted/despised/feared which are Chitania, 29, 32, Variolus' daughter, Sweet Note and so on.
>>27610916
She's obviously not irredeemable yet.
>>27610916
>Variolus' daughter
Not officially real or anything... yet.
>>27610916
I'm sure you can give it a nice ending sure.
But if it goes into "big monster Chitania fight scene"
Fffffffuck man I'm just tired of them, almost cliche and one-note.
Can we have a resolution without the egregious mash-up
>>27611720
None of Chittys fights have been in the same location, had the same characters, or even have the same resolution, so calling it one note she is a little insincere, and that's not what cliche means at all.
That said, fuck that, we had Chitty get knocked down hard, it would be terrible if we didn't even give it a proper resolution of a follow-up fight. Sure, I agree if it happens it needs to be an escalation instead of a repeat, but no way are we just having them talk about it. That would be boring, and actually cliche considering the base show.
>>27612152
Chitty gotta get her win back, brother.
>Celestia
"Luna"
'Tubbs'
-Pommel-
>Now, Mr. Canoli, I'm sure you understand the severity of your crimes by now, so we will not belabor the point on your punishment-
'Please don't kill me!'
>We're not going to kill you.
'Phew...'
>Well *We*, it'd be up to someone else altogether.
'...what?'
>If you refuse to come clean, I've decided to hand you over to the primary authorities of your victim.
"Meaning Queen Chrysalis."
>Now she's far less of a villain than most would have you believe, but I know I'd be far less than forgiving of someone who knowingly did such damage to one of my own ponies so-
'THE PALAMINO FAMILY!'
>...
-Wow, you just came right out with that, huh buddy?-
~Faster than the captain on date night with his lady.~
-...Buckler, I'm right here.-
~Sorry I heard Fuzzy and Buzz make that joke and I've been dying to use it...y'know I think I actually told it wrong, can I try agai- ~
>...
~Shuttingup.~
"We're sorry, forgive us if we're wrong. The Palaminos of Neightaly?"
'Yes.'
"Hm, the last we'd heard of them, they were mere merchants, why would they hire a thug such as yourself?"
>Things change in a thousand years, I'm afraid, Luna. These Palaminos are criminals, though very good at hiding it under a legal veneer. Cart dealerships...
-Casinos.-
~Pizza shops.~
>...
-Oh...son of a BITCH! I KNOW YOU NOW!-
~SO DO I!~
"Elaborate, you nonsensical Sentries!"
-YOU'RE THE DELIVERY GUY FOR PALAMINO BROS.!-
~Dude, I was JUST there a few hours ago! They were keeping folks away and refusing help cleaning up!~
>Well, we've the Who and the Where. But we need the What and the Why. Mr. Canoli?
'Y-yeah, they're right. I worked at the pizza joint, that's uh...that's how I knew I had to hit a changeling.'
"Beg pardon?"
1/?
>>27612219
'Well I mean, come on. Every time things go wrong around here, there's a changeling at the center of it. It means the guard gets on edge and the bugs get testy and those other two-the apple lady and the changeling queen-get into a fight and it's just...y'know...the best cover if you want something kept hidden.'
>And that something is?
'...our cellar it's got some...contraband, very very illegal and dangerous contraband.'
~...motherfucker you BETTER not be telling me your pizza causes cancer.~
'Wha? No! Not the pizza, NEVER the pizza, Chef is very insistent on that. No it's...sugar.'
>Sugar?
"-Sugar?-"
~...ohhh honey honey, you are my-~
-You're getting demoted.-
~I'm a private!~
-You'll be a janitor!-
'Yeah, sugar, fake sugar. We get 'em from our headquarters on the coast, who get them from back in Sicileek. Mostly we're just a way-station between the headquarters and our customers in Las Pegasus and the like but we have a side business here too. Hell, the sugar on that restaurant that got blown up's churros came from us.'
-I...is this even illegal?-
'Well...the stuff we cut the actual sugar with is a kinda powder our guys back home enchant to taste like sugar. I mean it behaves about the same when you cook with it so nobody really can tell the difference, but problem is having something juiced up on magic to the point where it tricks your mind into thinking it's sugar running through your system-'
>Is a quick way to throw one's biology out of balance.
'Yeah, I mean the Palamino Family isn't exactly interested in testing the medical bits but you hear stuff...makes ya irritable, erratic, just a sour no-good bastard really.'
~Soooo you sell a lot in Manehattan, is what you're saying.~
'Yes, why?'
~Noooo reason.~
"Well, at least now we understand your need for a distraction."
2/3
>>27612229
>You and your cronies have been giving my ponies POISON!
-And you shot my friend to cover it up!
"With the intent to plunge us into even more civil strife with the changelings!"
~And I mean, come on, you're the only pizza joint in town that DIDN'T burn down suspiciously?~
>"-...-"
~What? I thought we weren't investigating because the pizza was so good.~
>"-...-"
'I think they want you to shut up.'
~Doing that!~
'But yeah, uh, that too, though I didn't do that personally.'
>Very well. Captain?
-On it. Buckler, go round up some Peacetrotters, I'll get some more guards. These bastards are going down.-
"And as for you, Tubbs Canoli, have you any last words?"
'I-I uh...'
>Know that after your confession, we'll be holding the pronouncement of the sentence until your cronies are rounded up.
'R-right just...please...'
>Yes?
'When you get them, there's gonna be a guy, our chef, well we call him Chef. Look that guy, don't put him with anyone else, he's...he's bad news and it won't be pretty.'
>I'll take it under advisement. Take him away!
3/3
>>27612234
...buckler is weirdly funny
>>27612229
Holy shit they are giving them cocaine.
Glorious!
>>27610916
That's silly, Sunset isn't a mustache twirling villain or a poor widdle broken soul, she's a mare who burned up reaching for the sun, and never really got over that nobody she thought she could trust caught, or even seemed to care about, catching her on the way down.
Currently, she has a single thing on her mind, revenge. Revenge not against AJ or Celestia, they're not even worth her time, but the one who caused it all to go so wrong. Who messed up her research and took her one shot at victory, and to prove she was worth giving another chance. Chitania is a means to an end, she knows Chitty for all her faults is far beyond her in power, so increasing her to fight against a god is well within her power, so long as she actually stays in her graces.
Calling her irredeemably evil is naive, at best. Even if she was willing to do irredeemable acts, there's reasons for it, there's justification on her part that she tells herself so that she doesn't think herself a monster.
She still thinks she's the hero of this story, after all.
>SA
"Pinkie"
'???'
~~~
'WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! THIS IS THE BEST!'
>I told you bringing her was a good idea.
"Pfft, you say that about everything."
>I do not! I do not want her anywhere near anything serious... or dangerous... or upsetting... or pretty much anything not happy.
"That's probably not healthy."
>Neither is me punching someone in the face because they upset her.
"That's not healthy at all, no. Though not for the reason you're thinking."
>Bah, it's fine.
"Tell that to a guard."
>I am a guard.
"Was a guard."
>Still am, at heart.
'AUNTIE PINKIE, COME ON! THE ROLLER COASTER IS COMIN' AROUND AGAIN!'
"Oooo~ I'm up to Auntie Pinkie, I'm stealing your child's heart away."
>Bah, nothing can ever take away her Shiny from her.
"You sure about that?"
>One hundred percent.
"Hey! Two! I've got cotten candy!
'Awesome!'
"...that tastes like marchmalleys."
'YOU ARE THE BEST THING EVER AND AH'M GONNA LOVE YOU FER' THE REST OF MY LIIIIIIFFFFFFFEEEEE!'
>...
"Check, and, mate."
>...Can I have some?
"Heh, everybody comes to the Pinkie side eventually."
'GIMME!'
>>27612808
>secret ending unlocked: Pinkie Harem!
>>27610582
>FOR GOD'S SAKE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ALREADY
Same, I'm so sick of Chitania smashing things. I want us to stop focusing on her already and giving her entire arcs. I like her better when she's doing comedy bits.
>not looking forward to whatever it is Sunset is planning
Sunset has fallen so far from my grace, that I regret including her in my stories.
>Twilight
"Lucky"
~~~
>Come on, you can't want to just be a guard for the rest of your life, move up in the world! Take the promotion! Go somewhere and be somebody!
"I like it in Canterlot."
>But this place gets invaded all the time, destroyed even!
"So, Ponyville doesn't get invaded or wrecked?"
>...Hrmmgmgnn...
"Yeah, sorry. Got family up here, can't leave them all behind."
>You are literally within sight distance! You can see Ponyville from here!
"Still a trainride to and from home. Commuting is out of the question."
>Come onnnnn!
"Nope."
>DAMN!
"For the record, it's not that I don't think Ponyville is a nice place, but seriously-"
>Yeah, I understand, trust me, I understand... all those ponies are crazy.
>>27613205
>Twilight
"???"
~~~
>I realize I'm scraping pretty far down the barrel, but I'm desperate here. Captain of the Guard? Prestige, wealth and respect? Any of this tempting you?
"I'll take it!"
>OH THANK FUCKING FAUST-
"Under one condition!"
>... Fuck. No, I'm not sleeping with you. None of my friends, mentors, sort of friends or sometimes enemies are sleeping with you. None of us are doing any sexual acts of any nature on you, for you, or where you can see them.
"It's not that!"
>Somehow that makes me more worried.
"I'll become your captain under one condition! See, I have this very large debt...
>You'll get a substantial raise.
"That, uh... that's not going to cover it. Was more hoping for like, having that wiped off my record?"
>We can't force someone to forgive a substantial debt.
"Then no deal!'
>...
"Please, he's going to break my legs, probably!'
>...The worst part is, I'm actually considering it...
>>27613336
>Twilight
"SG"
~~
>Any chance you would-
"I'm obligated to ask if I do if I can forgive massive monetary debts."
>...no, the captain of the guard is more about... guarding.
"Guarding against broken legs?"
>Yes? Though you'd think they'd just take you to court.
"Hrm... sorry, buddy! Not worth it!'
~DAAAMN!~
>How do I only know like three of you?
>>27613510
>Twi
"Daw"
~~~
>So would you-
"PFFFTTTTTAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAHAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
>...
"Sorry, that was rude, you were saying?"
>...Would you like to be captain of the guard-
"AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>Yeahhh...
>>27613561
Can't blame her...
>42
"18"
~~~
>...What the fuck did I miss?
"NEXT!"
>Should... should I do something about this? Is this a takeover? If so... who's side am I on here?
"NEXT!"
>I feel like I should be punching something, but I have no idea what.
"NEXT!"
>... I suppose I could just tell somebody, they'd sort it out.
"NEXT!"
>But at the same time, I don't want to sell out my friend.
"NEXT!"
>...hrm... this is going to take some debate.
"NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT!"
