ITT: Sexual dysfunction, futa fics, lots and lots of futa discussion, 2nd person and anthro fics are always bad, Horrorology 101, people full of ideas don't write, Mr. Hands in Equestria, debating whether or not edgy horse fics can be done well, riffing horrible autistic garbage, writing fanfiction about shows you dislike, debating whether or not paragraphs should have intents or line breaks, painting the Mona Lisa with fecal matter.
Tired of the same old feature box bait? Burnt out after reading that turd about filly Nightmare Moon? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!
>FIMFiction Starter Kit (recommended fics):
Winners:
http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png
List of nominees by category:
http://mlp-fanfics.herokuapp.com/
>How do I write fanfiction?
Ezn’s guide - http://eznguide.neocities.org/
Politics and the English Language - http://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/
Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - http://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f
>Can you pre-read my story?
Post it on Google Docs with inline comments enabled and give us a link. Someone will take a look at it eventually.
>Reviews and riffs:
http://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom
>Voiceguy's readings:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt68MpmvEketmqOdHncHI2w
Old thread: >>27508020
>>27600131
>new chapter of Inter-Universal Politics
>half-changeling Twilight gets magically super-charged due to 1000s of people jerking off to r34 of her
Why was I under the impression that I-UP was considered a good story?
also pootaloo get
>>27600512
It was. I don't know what the author was smoking this week, but he's often in this thread, so maybe he'll show up and tell us.
Continuing this riff: >>27598278
>We watched the creature run back into the everfree forest, where it belongs, but I still couldn't shake off what it was.
A timber wolf. A wolf made of timber. This is Twilight's POV, isn't it? She shouldn't be this thick.
>It was also intelligent, knew how to fight, and was strong.
PFFFF. Oh, Twilight. If only you knew how horribly wrong you were. Then again, you are being used by a retarded fanfic author as a mouthpiece to aggrandize a Gary Stu, so I can't really blame you.
>"Rainbow, you okay?" I asked her in worry.
Redundant dialogue tags are redundant.
>She looked up at me and smiled, "I'm alright Twilight.
As anyone with skin thicker than rice paper should be.
>I returned her smile
because it came broken and with a two-year warranty
>and shook my head. Always trying to act tough as usual.
Looks like Twilight also hates the basic literary rule of 'show, don't tell'.
>"Girls, have a look at this!" We turned and saw Rarity levitating what looked like to be some kind of pendant.
Why? She has hands. Is Rarity such a lazy bitch that she can't bend over and grab the pendant? It'd give the author a perfect opportunity for some anthro-Rara fanservice.
>"What is it?" Pinkie asked looking at the pendant.
>"I’m not entirely sure, but it appears to be a pendant of some sort." Rarity answered.
The mane six are retarded, too. No surprise there. An author with a Gary Stu and no brains can really make his Stu stand out by knocking all the other characters down a peg. Or two. Or so many that they start getting blunt force trauma to the head.
>a young male creature of some kind and a female creature of the same strange species next to him.
This is written in POV. Twilight is an amateur scientist. She should be better at making observations than this.
>The boy was smiling, and looked liked he was laughing while hugging the female creature.
Tragically, that was the last time a female of the same species would ever touch him willingly.
>too angry to write anything
>too tired of attempting for something that I will Never reach
>So much hate in my heart as of now for my existence.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EddX9hnhDS4
>>27600629
>"Who do you think this girl is?" Rarity asked.
The victim of a broken condom and anti-abortion laws.
>"Girls," I turned and saw Fluttershy carrying Pipsqueak, who was unconscious in her arms, "We have to take Pipsqueak to the hospital." Pipsqueak laid in her arms, still out cold, but still breathing.
How does Fluttershy know his name?
>We all got up and ran for the hospital, but my mind was still drifting around this strange new creature.
Oh. Oh, no. No, no, no! She's been infected with Sue-itis! If we let the infection spread, she'll become either extremely in love with, or incredibly hateful and envious of, the Stu. How long? How long does the infection have to spread to the rest of Equestria?
>300k words
...there is no hope.
>**********************************************************************************************************
Wanton cruelty to the asterisk button.
>We were all sitting in the waiting room, waiting for news about Pipsqueak.
Don't you have anything better to do than wait on a stranger?
>But my mind was still focused on something else. I needed to know more about this creature
All you need to know is he needs to be torched with a flamethrower. It'll save you a lot of heartache, and it'll save everyone a lot of time.
>All of us quickly got up and walked up to him, fearing the worst. "How is he?" I asked him.
>"Pipsqueak will be fine, other than being in a little bit of a shock, just a few scratches and bruises. He'll be up and about in the morning."
Of course. How in the world could Blaze McEdge not pull off a perfect rescue of a boy he doesn't know in a universe he doesn't know?
>We all walked up to him and smiled, surrounding his bed.
Genderswapped bukkake imminent.
>Pipsqueak opened his eyes slowly and looked up at us and said, "Wha..where am I?"
>"You're in the hospital.
Durr, really?
>>27600728
>"Where's Daniel?"
Hmm, so I just woke up from a brief coma and woke up in a hospital bed. What's the first thing I should ask about? My health? My parents? My parents' medical bills? No, I think this alien I just met in a strange forest is far more important than any of those.
>"Who's Daniel? All we know is a creature was carrying you and we drove his sorry butt out of ponyville." Rainbow said proudly.
Rainbow can't piece together this incredibly obvious thing. Even she shouldn't be this thick.
>I saw Pipsqueaks eyes widen before he asked, "Was he wearing black clothing, had black hair and blue eyes?"
If you look back to his description in the first chapter, the red is actually more prominent. Which makes it even worse.
>Rainbow simply answered, "Yep,
>"WHAT WERE YOU ALL THINKING!?" He shouted at us while sitting up more, making us step back in complete surprise.
...that the strange alien with the foul mouth, abrasive attitude, black obsidian katana (lol), and archetypal villain color scheme wasn't the best guy to be carrying around a damsel in distress?
>"Sugarcube, what are ya talkin ‘bout? We saved you from him."
>"GAH! No, you got it all wrong, he was trying to help me, AND he saved my life!"
Yeah, you're very welcome, Pipsqueak. You entitled little bitch.
>Me and the girls stood there wide eyed by what he told us, nothing but confusion in our minds. I then asked, "What do you mean?"
Twilight Sparkle, erudite top student of Celestia, herself, and future Princess, can't figure out basic phrases like 'trying to help' and 'saved my life'.
>Pipsqueak sighed and explained
Incoming exposition block
>"I was playing with my ball in the meadow outside of ponyville, but it rolled off into the everfree forest. I ran after it but then I got lost.
How cliché.
>>27600794
>Then three Timberwolves came out of the darkness and attacked me. I thought i was done for, but Daniel, the creature you all Chased away, saved me and he was bringing me to ponyville for help."
The paranoiac in me would guess that this was a deliberate setup by Daniel to gain Pipsqueak's trust so he can be groomed into a boy sex slave. The cynic me would guess that Daniel only could chase off the timberwolves because his horrible body odor was too offensive to these woodland creatures who depend on sniffing piss and shit daily to track their prey. But because I actually witnessed that spergfest first-hand, both the paranoiac and the cynic can agree that both the author and the Stu are too stupid to think that deeply into things.
>This creature, the very same that we drove off...was only looking for help and he saved Pipsqueaks life.
This is just something he told you secondhand. You are literally taking the word of a traumatized child as gospel truth. You're an idiot.
>"If ah remember, it was Rainbow that attacked the critter first." Applejack said looking at Rainbow.
And all of a sudden, the Stu has washed his hands of all responsibility without even trying, through the power of author favoritism.
>"Grrr, he saved my life and this is how you all repay him?
Yes, they brought you to the hospital and took time out of their day to see if you are alright, yet you're angry that they didn't bow down to Flamingo McCockwarmer and worship him as Equestria's new messiah. They should've let you lay there and rot, you ungrateful shit.
>He did make a good point.
Of course he did. He's Gary's top shill.
>>27600864
>After what we did, we owed him an apology for what we did to him.
Let's see. Gary:
-Kidnapped a child
-Let himself be seen in public in a horrific eyesore of an outfit
-Called Rainbow Dash pathetic after beating her up
-Damaged one of Applejack's lassos with his black obsidian katana (lel)
-Called all of you assholes after running away from you like a bitch.
You:
-Attacked an alien creature as a preemptive strike against a whiny red-and-black OC
-Defended your friend from him after he pummeled her to unconsciousness in a fit of tard rage
...wait. Sorry. I was wrong. You're completely in the wrong here. Go get him some free Mojitos at Ponyville's best gay bar. You owe him everything in the world because he exists.
>"He's right girls, we have to apologize to him. He didn't deserve this."
That's right. You horrible person-pony-thing. How dare you be concerned about a kidnapped child.
>I just hope this creature can forgive us for what we did.
Of course he will. He can't get his horse waifu if he holds a grudge. Well, he is a Gary Stu, so I suppose anything's possible.
>**********************************************************************************************************
If this fic had any more stars, it could compete with Hollywood.
>I was lucky that I was able to retrieve my sword, but I lost my mothers pendant.
And I'm guessing you're going to keep angsting about the stupid necklace, huh?
>I was still pissed at the girls that attacked me.
Yep. Should've bet fifty bucks on that.
>I didn't do anything wrong. I was only trying to find help for me and Pipsqueak, and yet they just attacked me like I was some kind wild animal that wanted to eat them. The way Rainbow attacked me, and the way she destroyed my pendant, everything around me just shattered. I felt truly alone...abandoned...and shattered.
Jesus Christ, get a grip. You don't have to present your case to us. The mane six are about to bend over backwards for you anyway.
>>27600926
>I continued to walk through the forest, feeling the cool air hit my face.
And longing for something warmer and stickier to do that, I bet.
>I didn't know what to do anymore.
Nothing. Just... nothing. The plot will fix all your problems.
>I don't have anything else, other than my grandfather's sword, my backpack, my Iphone, my laptop, and very little food and water.
Oh, you poor little thing.
>I had nowhere to go. I was on my own now.
Didn't you spend the vast majority of the first chapter on expository narration telling us this was your situation anyway?
>I was carrying Pipsqueak in my arms. Even though I didn't know him for a long time, he seemed like a good kid.
He seems really fond of Pipsqueak despite having barely met the brat. I'm starting to think the author identifies with him more than a little bit. Just a hunch.
>I took out my Iphone, and decided to listen to some soft music to calm myself.
Yes, feel sorry for this tortured soul who gets to have calming music everywhere he goes with his handheld music-playing device.
>I placed my earbuds in and played a soft song.
The word "song" links to this music video:
https://youtu.be/TtNHOEIDOSM
Because nothing says "strong, tough, brooding, and badass" like some sappy musical number from Kingdom Hearts.
>The soft smooth beat of the piano, and the sound of a violine rose into my ears, soothing any of my stress or anger.
I'm pretty sure you could've gotten the same thing with a bottle of whiskey, but 70 proof is probably too hardcore for you.
>I shifted my head toward the valley, and saw something shining on the ground.
It's that tiny glimmer of hope that this fic will be good. And of course, it's not real.
>I stood up and grabbed my sword. I walked over to the source of light and started digging a little around it.
What an intelligent use for a highly valuable and rare black obsidian katana (lol).
>>27600997
>My eyes widened when I saw a large Ruby in the shape of a heart was in front of my eyes.
Lucky you. It's not like this is a world where gems and rubies can be dug up by the bucketload from three inches under a layer of soft sand or anything.
>Who would leave a ruby in the middle of a valley!?
A seemingly unselfish thought. But then...
>This was incredible! I'm freakin Rich Baby!
Our hero, everypony! He is not only too dumb to not know that rubies and gems are worth shit in this universe, but also too selfish to even consider taking this back to its former owner despite it apparently being so valuable.
And keep in mind that he has his dumb little sword that's also worthless but he thinks is extremely valuable. If he left that on the ground for someone else to pick up, he'd be branded as irredeemably evil for having this exact same thought process. I guarantee it.
>….But...as much as I wanted to keep this ruby to make some easy money, this gem might belong to someone. My mother once taught me to never take valuable items and to always return them to their owners.
Nope. It's too late. We already saw your true colors, Gary. Blame your author for not editing that part out in a second draft.
>I laid down on the soft grass and my face was met with a lizard face.
Which was ripped off a lizard's head by whoever laid that gem there, so he could throw it at the idiot dumb enough to take the bait.
>I stood there wide eyed. The lizard went wide eyed as well. The two of us stood silent for a second, until I broke the dam.
I'm pretty sure the dam is public property. You should be in federal prison. But with all the swords you'd get to polish and let penetrate you in there, you'd probably prefer it there anyway.
>"AAAAAAAAAHH!" I screamed as I shot up from the ground and ran behind a boulder not too far from me.
He gets spooked by lizards. And we're supposed to accept him as a brave and strong man who can take on timber wolves. What.
>>27600629
>>27600728
>>27600794
>>27600864
>>27600926
>>27600997
>>27601072
You think anyone fucking cares? Do you see anyone replying to this overly posted riff that no person gives a shit about? Fuck the hell off with your shitty spastic spamming you fucking mongoloid. Your making a fool of yourself and this whole fucking dead thread retard. I bet your mother spoon feed you through a straw because you can't fucking control yourself like a normal human being.
FUCK YOU
>>27601157
That wasn't a kind thing to say, Anon.
>>27601072
>I placed my hand over my heart, feeling it beat rapidly by the sudden surprise of the face of the lizard. I didn't know what to do now.
First of all, stop holding your hand on your shoulder like you're saying the Pledge of Allegiance. You're probably about as patriotic as a Bernie Sanders supporter.
>Suddenly, I heard the sound of a teenager boy from behind the boulder.
It's yourself from five years past, begging you to stop writing horrible fanfiction and go hit the gym.
>"Hello? Hey, you don't need to be scared of me. I'm not gonna hurt you." His voice calmed me a little, but I was still freaking out like hell.
Over a lizard.
>The lizard I saw was pretty big.
Show, don't tell.
>Around as high as up to my abdomen.
You're a five foot even manlet. Half of that is not big.
>He had green, dagger eyes, had purple scales, a tail, green spines from his back, and blah blah blah
It's Spike.
>He was wearing a green T-shirt, a purple sweatshirt, and short jeans.
This is the second creature we've seen here in short jeans.
>He looked like to be around thirteen or fourteen in my mind.
Because you're a gay pedophile. That's why. Don't try to hide it; we already know about your perverse lust for Pipsqueak.
>He smiled again and said, "There. Now I can see you. My name is Spike. What's yours?"
Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Like the original, except I'm too much of a pussy to cut myself. Nice to meet you.
>I was finally able to swallow and greeted, "D..Daniel. Daniel Blaze."
Stammering is the mark of a true badass.
>"Sweet name.
Can not one character here not felliate him without being irredeemably evil or immediately regretting it soon after?
>It's good to meet you Daniel. Are you new around here?" He asked.
Yes, ask the alien creature if he's knew to Ponyville.
>"I guess you can say that." I replied dryly, not wanting to remember my warm welcome to this crazy world.
They would've been nice to you if you could actually function normally in society.
>>27601214
>"Cool. By the way, i've never seen anypony like you before. Are you some kind of furless pony?" Spike asked when he was circling me.
This sort of stupidity is actually in-character for Spike, but since everyone else is this stupid too, I guess we can chalk it down to a broken clock being right twice a day.
>Did he call me a furless pony? I guess this is his first time seeing a human. Probably.
Naww, you think so?
>"No, I'm not a furless pony. I'm known as a human."
I don't think even other humans would call you human, Gary. More likely sub-human. That'd explain why you had nobody who cared about you except for your incestuous child-molesting grandpa.
>He then asked shockingly, "You're really a human!?"
>I arched a brow by his sudden outburst. He knows about my race? I then answered, "Yeah, I'm a homosapien, or human in your words."
I'm surprised he didn't emphasize the "homo".
>"I don't believe this. Humans are supposed to be a ponytail." Spike responded with his shocked face still glued to his head.
As opposed to his happy face, his sad face, and his war face, all of which he keeps in hammerspace along with his stash of face-glue.
>Spike said, "Well, a pony named Lyra Heartstrings has been studying about humans ever since she was filly We all didn't believe humans existed, because we thought they were made up. Not real."
Nothing needs to be said.
>He's saying that humans don't exist in this world and are just some made up creature, but now it has one...me.
Aren't you so special?
>First talking anthro ponies, now dragons!? What's next, a Hydra!?
Babby's first foreshadowing.
>"Dude, you okay? You look pale."
Of course he looks pale. For most of his life, he hardly ever left the house.
>I snapped back into reality
, which I should've done a long time ago,
>and looked at Spike. I then said, "Y-yeah. I'm fine.
Is anything interesting going to happen here? I'm running out of ideas for jokes.
>>27601379
>"Dragons don't exist where you're from?" Spike asked.
>I shook my head and answered, "No, not really. Dragon's from my world are supposed to be just legends, made up majestic creatures. Even though they're not real, many of my people
"And by that, I mean myself."
>look up to them, and see them as legendary, powerful creatures."
The author is a Spikefag. Explains a lot.
>"Wow. That's cool." Spike said, "You mentioned you got sent here because of some light?"
>"Yeah. I was walking along a beach one night and I was then engulfed in light, tearing me away from my home." I didn't want to go too far to tell him that Tom and his friends were chasing me, because I didn't like talking about it.
But you did like fapping to it at night. Admit it.
>"Woah, dude, I'm so sorry to hear that." Spike said feeling bad about me.
Whereas a normal person/pony/dragon would've... you know, this is stupid. This whole riff is stupid. Why am I even doing this? There's nothing new to poke fun at. The joke got stale way too long ago. This is just an endless puree of your average, typical Mary Sue shitfic. I'm done. Fucking done. Fuck this fic, fuck this fic's author, and fuck this thread. I wasted far too much time on it already.
>>27601157
because hes interrupting all of this other activity we could be having at 0300, right?
Yeah we should totally just have scooterdude gets, trump bumps and [RANDY NICKERING]. How dare someone resurrect the kind of shit this thread revolved around in its early days?
Who the fuck are you and what can you bring to the table thats better? GTFO and go back to your EQGfutamothtentaclediaperrape general
xth for COLORATURA CHARACTER TAG WHEN?
>>27602075
they have one. pic related
seriously though they only give tags to popular characters. I cant say as I've seen more than a handful of fics that even mentioned her let alone one where she has a significant role
>>27602075
After Cherry Berry gets hers.
>>27598108
>>I turned and saw five more ponies.
What fucking ponies? How can you look at those anthropomorphic abominations and say "oh yeah, what a nice pony"? You can't even use the brony excuse this time.
>>27600512
No way. I refuse to believe that anyone would unironically do that in any fic.
>>27601072
>He is not only too dumb to not know that rubies and gems are worth shit in this universe, but also too selfish to even consider taking this back to its former owner despite it apparently being so valuable.
I mean, what would you do if you were him?
>>27601157
>Your
>>27601379
>Humans are supposed to be a ponytail.
>>27602615
>Humans are supposed to be a ponytail.
like mythological?
because ponies have tails. like literally every single pony has a tail. so ponytails would be unremarkably common.
if he tried to ponify fairy tale, then well first know the difference between tail and tale and second use something fairyesque that isnt retarded. breezytale?
>>27602649
>Spike: But that's just an old ponies' tale.
>Twilight Sparkle: But curses have no real power, they're just an old pony tale.
I'm eating ramen and fapping.
What is my life?
>>27603192
Pretty good I'd say desu
>>27603192
Cum in the ramen.
>>27601472
Great fic 10/10 feature box material
>>27601157
Just ignore him, anon. The rest of us are entertained by your riffing. At least, I am.
>>27603352
He already gave up.
>>27603374
Yeah, I wrote that reply before I hit the end of the riff. A shame, it was the most entertaining thing in these threads we've had for a while.
>>27603486
I guess the curse of /fimfic/ will eventually take over everything that gets started here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufO8LbwTdu0
Pixar screenwriter talking about how to set up a story when you only have some general ideas for it. 8 minutes long, pretty interesting. We could put it in the OP.
>>27603868
Wow, it's actually pretty good.
>>27603486
its ok. we'll just go back to bumping every couple of hours so at least that one guy will be happy
>>27604223
I mentioned riffing Persona EG last thread. I'd do like one chapter a day. Would anyone be interested?
Keep in mind I've never done this before.
>>27604338
Sure. A lot better than bumping.
>>27604338
I'd only be worried about your sanity.
I mean, don't be discouraged by the fact that every riffer so far has had a mental breakdown of sorts and then stopped.
>>27604392
It's fine, I'm already up to date, might as well re-read it before I write a review.
>>27604392
not every one. the ones that did those few oneshots seemed to have survived. its just the ones who attempt the 100k+ word fics that come out unfixably scarred
>>27604338
it's probably the only time I'll read anything from it aside from the snippets and riffing can be fun, so go ahead
>>27601157
Hello Shadicbro Brony.
So how about 'em pony stories?
>>27606253
I'm deciding what to read next from my backlog:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7621/harpflank-and-sweets
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/283487/a-change-in-fashion
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/301016/reincarnation-or-immortality
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/22454/the-elements-of-awesomery
Any advice would be appreciated.
>>27606411
None of those seem particularly appealing, but Change in Fashion lets me know there's a tag for Suri Polomare, which means >>27602075
isn't too crazy.
>>27606452
You serious? Every Coco story has to have some Suri to shit on, and Coco is really popular because she's Fluttershy 2.0
>>27606452
Harpflanks and Sweets looks like it has quite the fame; there are a bunch of side stories written by some pretty big names, including CiG. Since I'm also trying to write an fic in the style of an action-hero TV show, this is especially relevant to my interests.
A Change in Fashion is written by the same author as Fiddling With Her Heart, so I have some idea of the quality. The latter fic wasn't great, but it was good enough, and in fanfiction one can't really have such high standards.
Reincarnation or Immortality is written by the same person who wrote The Library of Discord and craps out all those stats about fimfiction after each archive release. He's a better mathematician than writer, IMO, but his stories are still quite interesting and I think this one has potential to have some good philosophical discussions at a level I can understand.
The Elements of Awesomery is something that ended up on my RL list because someone I follow reviewed it, and it's written by PresentPerfect, so I trust that it's well-written enough to be an entertaining crackfic.
>>27606540
>entertaining
>crackfic
You should start reading your posts. I think you've made a serious mistake here.
>>27606621
Maybe crackfic is the wrong word. I just meant a story that derives humour from how ridiculous and over-the-top it is.
>>27603500
I was running out of things to make fun of anyway. If I hadn't quit, it eventually would've gotten almost as shit as the fic, itself. I mean, there are only so many ways you can say "Sue-fic Cliché X is shit" in a way that's entertaining.
>>27607037
I think that may be why I managed to keep going with the LtD riff for so long. There was always some new strain of insanity coming along the way.
It did prove to be my demise eventually, though.
>>27607078
Yeah, all the best riffs are of fics that always have a different flavor of shit to offer in each chapter.
Man, i never realized how much pointless fluff and filler Persona EG had until I decided to riff it.
>>27607200
i thought it was entirely pointless
>>27607200
So you're telling me that, somewhere in there, there's an actual point to all of it?
Which one was this again? Is it the one Iron Butterfly wrote?
>>27608237
Wait, that guy knows how to write?
>>27608689
It's debatable.
>>27608689
I think hes got a shit-to-text translator app. guess it works
>>27609177
We seem to return to the topic of feces art.
>>27609204
They say art imitates life, and I'm supposing the mythril masturbator has a pretty shit life
>>27608051
>>27608237
There's a general semblance of an overarching story that gets mentioned every 50 chapters or so.
>>27609827
so whenever mythril sentry runs out of small children and mentally challenged teenagers to molest he remembers the plot?
fucking hell the actual plot is just filler in his self insert fuckfest isnt it?
>>27610400
I'll be honest, the plot was almost always there until Sunset Shimmer sided with the main cast. Since then, it's been just slice of life and drama with occasional filler fights. Even the last monthly rescue mission turned out to be completely fucking pointless. Shining Armor didn't get a Persona solely because we can't have another guy interfering with Flash's battle harem.
Before that, there was always some mystery behind the Zodiac, like what it really was, why it was tied to Canterbook (in-universe Facebook) and why someone's trying really hard to keep it online, but nowadays Mythril's just riding the coattails of the story elements that he set up a long time ago but doesn't know how to resolve yet.
He did hint at some weird shit going on despite Sunset no longer pulling the strings, but it was only brought up once so far, and he just keeps delaying chapters with 3k words of fluff.
I just unironically wrote three paragraphs discussing the plot structure of an EqG crossover fic starring a self-insert of a 40 year old autist with a high school girl harem.
Do we know ANYTHING about Equestria's education system? What did Twilight do after finishing Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns?
I have an idea for a fic that I would really like to write.
>>27611419
>What did Twilight do after finishing Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns?
Study shit with Celestia.
>>27611722
A-are you sure she didn't go to college or something?
>>27611832
>>27611832
That's probably what happened. CSGU might be a "Polyvalente" style thing we had back in Quebec a few years ago, with primary/elementary and secondary/high school mixed together. She probably finished it, then went in direct tutoring with Celestia, which would fit her skills better.
>>27611419
What's with the "oooooooooooooooooooooooooo" in that pic?
>>27612546
I don't remember. You'd have to dig through the archives.
>>27612546
Ponies are pescatarian: they eat eggs, dairy products, fruits & veggies, and occasionally fish but no meat.
Provemewrongprotipyoucant.
>>27613307
Searched the wrong site, buddy.
I just threw away 12k+ words because I realized it was almost all crap. Might be able to salvage a couple thousand words out of it if I'm lucky.
Can some recommend something light and funny to make me not feel depressed?
>>27613325
>and occasionally fish
Do they though?
Also, what's this meme about fish meat not being meat? I've never understood. It just seems like some dumb explanation Christians invented to get away with eating meat on fridays.
>>27613580
>something light and funny
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/80622/the-wrong-fork
>>27613580
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/8675309/No-One-Fucking-Cares
>>27613614
That story is shit, read this one above instead.
>>27613657
You seem a tad peeved, Anon.
>>27613657
Daniel Blaze?
>>27613614
Thanks, that was a nice, quick read.
>>27613732
the fuck is in that picture
I have never been so afraid
>>27614311
it's just me...
thanks, anon...
>>27614343
in that lighting you look pretty terrifying, bro
that's some scp level shit
>>27614343
Regidar?
>>27614478
nah, I'm actually the dude who was freaked out by the pic
>>27614669
Is that ginger neckbear pic of you actually real?
>>27614687
Obviously not. Who would grow an actual bear on their chin?
[randy nickering]
So I just learned that my favourite author on this site didn't even speak English before he started watching MLP.
And yet, I'll never be able to write a tenth as well as him. And I'll probably never have as good a grasp on the English language than he does now.
So post fics that make you realize what a pathetic human being you really are, I guess.
>a guard tried to rape an infant
>it goes about as well as expected
>comedy tag
now I realize that its canon that the royal guard are pretty much worthless and wholly ineffective at everything, but I get the impression from this description that the rape may not proceed as planned.
and thats just fucking sad
>>27616398
>So post fics that make you realize what a pathetic human being you really are
You mean all the ones I've written?
>>27617269
the best part is, the dude didn't write it in english
he just ran it through google translate
>>27617538
huh if thats the case, then
>>27616398
>So I just learned that my favourite author on this site didn't even speak English before he started watching MLP.
is master titta your favorite author? or andre?
>>27617588
Aragon, who apparently only spoke Spanish until he watched MLP.
>>27618124
yeah, Aragon is impressive
>tfw there will be afanficepisode coming up
I wonder if it'll be as disappointing as Slice of Life was.
>>27606411
>The Elements of Awesomery
Sounds pretty bad. Ironically shit is still shit and all that.
>>27611419
>ANYTHING
Small towns like Ponyville don't appear to have high school equivalent education. That's the only canon thing we have so far.
>>27613580
>threw away
>not saving it in a separate file to cannibalize later and then posting the rest of it as a "Deleted Scenes" blog post
>>27617269
>it's a comedy rapefic
>all those downvotes
Reminds me of the Spike one the author pussied out of and turned into a serious fic after the Spikefags complained.
>>27618484
>tfw there will be afanficepisode coming up
I thought that was already confirmed for fake.
...
Well, shit. I better write that fic about RD writing Daring Do fanfiction before that episode airs.
>>27618503
>I thought that was already confirmed for fake.
I thought show staff was prohibited from going anywhere near fanfics for various reasons
>>27618575
They're prohibited from reading it to avoid lawsuits under the fucked up burger justice system.
>>27613589
>Also, what's this meme about fish meat not being meat? I've never understood.
I think it's a vegetarian thing when people don't like cattle being slaughtered, but fuck fish and plants.
>>27611722
>>27612012
>>27618484
Fuck it, I'll just do what University Days did and make some shit up. I guess I'll have to replace Twilight with Trixie.
>>27619644
Just suppose she went directly under Celestia's tutoring to develop her skills. That's probably the most logical path.
>>27618484
>fanfic episode
Based on which?
>I wonder if it'll be as disappointing as Slice of Life was.
It's going to be pure fan service, so we could expect a bad episode.
Especially if they do it on a popular fanfic like Past Sins.
>>27619671
I dont see how they can have a fanfic based episode if theyre not allowed to look at fanfics.
that being said, if nyx or even worse girokon become canon Im fucking done.
>>27619693
They can have an episode about the general concept of fanfiction, just not about any particular piece of MLP fanfiction. Probably it'll be about Dash writing Daring Do fanfics or some shit.
>>27620032
>Probably it'll be about Dash writing Daring Do fanfics or some shit.
great. a shitty self insert wankfest no doubt
>>27620186
I mean, obviously. What else do you think Rainbow Dash would write?And then Twilight reviews it and says it's great.
>>27620186
I mean, if it's something like Stargate SG-1's 200th episode, it could be pretty funny. That episode was basically each character writing fanfiction about themselves and pitching to a TV show director, and it was hilarious.
>>27620217
>Nyx canon
>She's a shitty mary sue who think he merits everyone's total attention, even if no one know her
Yes pls.
>>27620640
I hate Past Sins as much as anyone else, but Nyx isn't like that.
>>27620664
I was thinking of Nyx thinking she was in an universe where Twalot liked her and all, while being in the actual canon where no one knows her.
page 10, yo
>>27622603
the fuck u just say bout my thread?
>>27622766
I wrote 2 words and a number. which part of that confused you?
>>27622827
the comma
>>27622832
thats terrible. even bleedin and lance greenberg use punctuation, anon. And occasionally they even use it correctly.
if they can do it so can you too, foo
Here's something I don't we've tried before: recommending users to follow. What users would you recommend following for reasons other than tracking their stories?
Here are my recommendations:
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/bookplayer provides good writing advice, especially when it comes to writing relationships. She also often links other good blog posts and provides interesting perspectives on them.
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/horizon links a lot of interesting stories and blog posts.
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Aragon has the funniest blog posts I've seen from any user. Most of them are better than almost all comedy fics I've read.
>>27622855
anon i can barely use my keyboard please send help
>>27622912
i dont follow anyone so i cant really say
i have better things to waste my time on
>>27622912
autistic faggot sperglords follow me, not the other way around.
>>27622912
>A character can’t fall in love without a reason. Dogs will try to impregnate any pillow in sight without a second thought, and even they bother to smell their mate’s asshole before the courting.
You know what, I'll follow this guy.
>>27622984
The entire "It feels rapey" series is really funny. The advice there is good too, though not necessarily original, but the delivery is pure gold.
>>27622912
I already follow all three of these, and even though I disagree with almost everything bookplayer writes, she's still a good author to follow because the ways we disagree are at least interesting. For the same reasons, I'd recommend following
>http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Bad+Horse
and
>https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Titanium+Dragon
Incidentally, if you love drama, make sure you check out the comment section on TD's latest review blog.
Also, here are some off-fimfic people who write interesting stuff:
>http://onemansponyramblings.blogspot.com
>http://louderyay.blogspot.com
>https://cityofdoors.wordpress.com
Week's almost over.
Why haven't you written anything?
>>27624019
Highschool V exam session, unfortunately our exams aren't finished like you guys at uni.
>>27623959
I never followed TD because he seemed the type to attract a lot of drama, which I didn't feel like having clog up my feed. Bad Horse is pretty interesting, though, especially his very LessWrong view of the world.
For reviews, I'm quite fond of http://www.fimfiction.net/user/PaulAsaran. He seems to have pretty good taste in stories and has a ton of reviews.
I just discovered onemansponyramblings yesterday. Looks interesting. And the other two also seem to have a lot of reviews. Thanks.
I also just started following https://www.fimfiction.net/user/ScarletWeather, since bookplayer and TD both linked some of her blogs and she seems to have some interesting views on writing (she's the one who started this whole Mary Sue discussion, which I assume is the drama you're referring to in TD's blog).
>>27623959
Holy crap, I did not expect Aragon and Numbers to just start laying on TD like that. It's like reading a celebrity feud or something.
This is what I got while trying to be positive about myself.
Great.
>>27624671
Don't worry, Anon, spergs can be cool.
>>27624019
But I have, Anon. It's just that none of my words have been horsewords.
And I'm about to sit down and critique a 25 page story about something that isn't FiM.
>>27624671
I sometimes do these autism/asbergers/depression/mental illness "tests" that get posted on here, and I've never ended up on the autistic part of the scale.
What's wrong with you, Anon?
>>27625495
Gross. Get out of our thread, creep.
Ideas for a fic;
The mirror pool was first created as a tool for the Equestrian justice system, for cases which had sentences which would be softer than Tartarus. By separating its dimension from Equestria's, its population is kept in relative security from very powerful criminals. Since the mirror exists in another dimension, time doesn't pass at exactly the same rate, and suspects found innocent can be retrieved after what they fell as an extremely short time. Various access points, like the one we see Pinkie using, enable accessing the mirror dimension, or making copies of the suspect with the same memories for interrogation without the risk of them escaping and wrecking havoc.
How to tell if someone hasn't read Past Sins:
They hate it.
>>27625519
If I could leave I wouldn't have been here the last two years. You're stuck with me.
Sorry.
>>27625562
>>27625553
Actually, how the hell can mirror pool even work? Pinkie went into the pool and came out of the other side, where a clone was already standing by the water. So logically, her clones would have to go into the pool and come out on the other side as well, right? Then how come the extra clones appeared on the "proper" side? Do you only have to take a bath in it and suddenly a clone is standing right there? Because that's not how it seemed in the episode.
>>27625614
My idea is that the pool got corrupted after being left to decay for too long, and so acts as a barrier between any dimension, not only the mirror one and Equestria.
So basically Pinkie emptied 30+ dimensions of their Pinkie Pies, and Twilight's spell cast them back to theirs.
>>27625553
>>27625614
>>27625660
And with Beardo confirmed for developing a time travel spell more than 1000 years ago, we can really see a dimension travelingdimensionto FiM.
The more I think of it the more this show is autistically deep.
>>27625666
amazing
