Fuck, I fell asleep. Writing the update now if yall still interested. Also, consolidating the three greens before me. Props to the anons who wrote themi love you senpai
(1/6)
>"Anonymous."
>You blink, trying to get rid of the soreness in your left eye.
"That's my name. Don't wear it out."
>"How long do you think you can hold out? During the day, the best interrogators in Equestria are constantly at work on your mind. At night, your sleep belongs to Luna. Every moment of your life is used keeping the secrets of your escape from me."
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I've never even been to Tartarus. I have no idea what you're talking about!"
>She stamps one hoof in front of you.
>"I watched you fall into the pit after Discord's fall! You were one of his greatest lieutenants, and now you are attempting to reinstate chaos in Equestria. And that, Anonymous, is something I will not allow."
"You have no proof of any of that."
>She glowers at you even more seriously.
"The best interrogators in Equestria are about as effective as a fart in a windstorm compared to what my species was doing to each other when Ponykind was still living wild in herds in a meadow."
>"They were trained by me, personally, and between them and Luna, I've already been given many details--"
"You've been given only what I allowed them to glimpse. Do you honestly think for a second that I don't have the ability to project false and misleading information? That I would willingly allow myself to be captured without the means to protect my own private thoughts, even while asleep?"
>"..."
"Some of it is salted with truth. Some of it is pure fabrication. And some of the information you've already gotten will lead you to ruin if you try act on it. Are you a betting mare, Sun Butt?".
(2/6)
>She scowls at your defiance.
>"Anonymous if you don-."
>She takes an uncharacteristic pause.
>"What did you call me?"
"Sun Butt."
>"And why pry tell did you call me that?"
"Because there's a sun on your butt."
>Her scowl returns.
>"I order you to stop calling me that this instant."
>You simply shake your head.
"No can do Sun Butt."
>You plainly see that you're agitating her.
>And this gives you an idea.
>"I swear Anonymous if you don't stop calling me that I-."
"You'll do what kill me?"
>A big ass grin forms on your face.
"You want info on Discord correct."
She tones down the anger for now and nods.
"Well then it looks like I'm calling you Sun Butt from now on."
>She stares blankly at you.
>"You that there are other forms of pain I can inflicted on you."
"Why yes there are, but I'm still gunna call you Sun Butt.
>Her mane flares into a solar flare.
>You stretch your arms wide.
"Come at me Sun Butt!"
>Her mane fizzles out.
>She turns to the two guards in the room.
>"He is not to leave this room, understand me!"
>The two just salute.
>Celestia stomps her way out of the room.
"Alright talk to you later Sun Butt."
>She slams the door loudly.
>You look at the two guards, before spawning a deck of cards in your hand.
"Who wants to Texas Holdem."
(3/6)
>You are Princess Celestia
>As you wait for your sister to arrive, you sit on your throne wondering what to do with the insufferable human.
>"I must protect everypony from this madness. But..."
>You've recently received the reports handed to you by your interrogators but you start to wonder if any of these are accurate, or even true.
>One of the reports was particularly peculiar as it seemingly said that the world revolves around the sun and rotates around itself to cause night and day.
>You start to believe that this strange creature is playing your little ponies for fools.
"We apologize for not coming sooner, dear sister?"
>You watch Luna approach the dais with a strange look in her eyes.
>"I thank you for coming, Luna. Have you learned anything new about his plans?"
>She hesitates a little
"We took your advice, and started to more carefully discern the information we received from his subconscious. As you said, many of the projections we saw were innacurate and improbable at best."
>You underestimated him, that much was true. But he underestimated you as well. And now you are closer to discovering the truth
>"And? What did you learn?"
>She closed her eyes for a moment and then stared blankly upward.
"We attempted to delve further into his psyche. Passing the veil of his mind so to speak. And what we found was... different."
>"Different?"
"Yes. We saw a strange city suspended in the middle of what we could only discern to be the oblivion. The city had many structures distinguishable only by what appeared to be letters set atop of each one."
>This is the first time you've heard this. From Luna or from your inquisitors.
"We explored the city, and found that it was barren but the streets were seemingly alive and well kept. The only signs of life therein were the voices that emanated from each structure. We attempted to investigate the structures and discovered that each one was devoted to a particular aspect of study.
(4/6)
"For a time, our search of many of the structures looked dire as many of the voices spoke in terms we could not understand. Truthfully, we thought to concede, until..."
>"Until?"
"We... heard a name spoken through one of the structures."
>"Name? Whose name? Was it Discord?"
"Nay. It was my own... one thought we had gone mad from the search, but the voice called out more clearly the closer we followed it. Though what followed surprised me further."
>You start to wonder if this 'city' was something close to Anonymous' home, or at least where his secrets were hidden.
>"What happened, Luna?"
"We started hearing other names. Familiar names. Your's, your favoured student's, the names of her friends... and our enemies."
>"So..."
"For true, I had found what we had sought for."
>You breathe a sigh of relief at what you heard, and now start to hope to start to make headway on finding out Discord's plans.
"But... w-we could not believe what we saw."
>"What's wrong? What did you see?"
"We saw... depraved acts committed on what appeared to be our person and many others. And the voices regaled on heinous intentions they would commit upon our citizenry. Molestation being but the most common among them."
>You could see that the experience took a toll on Luna, who was now on the verge of tears.
>Knowing that Anonymous was essentially an agent of chaos, it did not surprise you to hear what Luna mentioned.
>"But did you find anything, sister? About Discord?"
>Luna shook her head and steeled herself, trying to recall the events.
"We attempted to commune with the voices, and inquire to the location of our great foe. Yet for all our efforts, I was met with dismissive responses that doomed upon me, a strange title. They called itNewfag?
(5/6)
>Be Anon
>What a fine day
>For silence?
>"That's weird."
>You look around and notice that there aren't any guards in the room.
>Not that it would have mattered.
>Dumb and dumber from before couldn't even stop you from making them play a healthy round poker with you.
>You still lost though.
>"I WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOSE!"
>You screamed outside the door.
>There was no response. No sound.
>Or was there?
Yes there was.
>You could hear the sound of hoofsteps across the hall.
>There wasn't anything particularly unusual about that, since they usually serve breakfast around this time
>You do however question the practicality of serving hay to someone who ISN'T a fucking horse.
>At this point, you couldn't tell if it was torture, or they're just ignorant to the concept of omnivorous diets.
>The hoofsteps were close now
>It stopped right in front of the door.
>"I'll have a regular Bacon McDouble, with some fries and a shake. Diet coke if you've run out."
"Anonymous..."
>You knew you recognized that dainty ass trotting from somewhere.
>"Why good morning Sun Butt! Do you know where Harold and Kumar went? Awfully lonely in here without someone to make fun of."
"I don't know who y-"
>"Those two guards you ordered to babysit me. I originally called them Asshat and Dickshit, but I felt they would have harmed me if I kept doing that."
(6/6)
>He asked you if you were a betting mare.
>In this instance, you supposed that you were
>"There's no need for it anymore."
"Well durrrr, those two couldn't keep me from leaving any more tha-
>The room shone brightly with the magic from your horn.
>The protective seal that prevented him from escaping has been dispelled.
"Wait, what're you doing?"
>"You're free to go, Anonymous."
>From his expression, you could tell nothing but confusion.
"Just like that? Yesterday you were itching to send me hurtling towards the sun, and now you're... letting me go. You think I'm going to just tell you what you want out of gratitude?"
>"No. We already have what we want from you. We know where Discord is. Equestria thanks you for your assistance in locating such a dangerous threat to our world."
>You turn to leave the room
>"The guards are outside. They will escort you to the gate until you reach the nearset ch-
"WOAHWOAHWOAHbackthefuckupshinyhorselady."
>He teleported infront of me and was now, in his way of speaking: 'All up in my shit.'
"Now unless your little faggoty weak-ass David Blaine wannabes gave you some total bullshit, which you are stupid enough to believe, or you're giving me THIS total bullshit that I'm supposed to believe! And I don't recall giving moonbutt ANYTHING last night but directions to the nearest pitstop to my rectum! That's how much bullshit I made sure she got!"
>He was clearly upset for some reason.
>You start to wonder if whether he ever wanted to protect his master's whereabouts or just wanted to have some fun of his own.
>"You give my sister too little credit, human. She saw through your illusions. As did I. Ironically, we wouldn't have been able to had you not given us a hint of your guile. But now, all of your trappings have fallen like a curtain on a stage. We saw the city, Anonymous. All of your secrets are ours."
>And that was it.
>The fate of Equestria now hinges upon the success of a stone-cold bluff.
Update.
>The silence that lingered was palpable
>And the seconds that passed felt like hours within the room
>You didn't know what to expect at this point.
>You simply hoped that you would get something.
>Anything
>Anything that might reveal to you his true intentions.
"...wut?"
>Did he not hear you clearly?
>"As I said Anonymous, all of your secr-"
"Shut up. What city? What secrets? What are you talking about?"
>Is he feigning ignorance? Is this a trap?
>"The... city that Luna saw in your dreams. The structures. The voices."
"Seriously, I have no idea what the hell you are going on about."
>"Do not take me for a fool, human. My sister saw it with her own eyes. If you believe your lies will save you every time you are sorely mistaken."
"I'm not kidding this time, Sun Butt! I honestly truly definitely have no clue what you just said."
>You reel away in shock, but try your best to keep it hidden
>Was this all for nothing?
"You sure moonbutt didn't take a wrong turn at Albuquerque? Got into someone else's head by mistake?"
>Impossible.
>"No! What she saw was real!"
>Your sister has overseen the dreams of many creatures, big and small. And not once have you seen her break down that way.
>"What she experienced was nothing she had ever before. The aberrant voices, the depraved acts, all made at the expense of my subjects. No other creature could possibly hold such vile and twisted thoughts than you!"
>You screamed at him as loud as you could, while trying to maintain your composure
>But is it your imagination
>or was he blushing?
>"And you may think my sister is a 'newfag' or whatever else you choose to believe, but if you think tha-"
"Wait... what did you just say?
>>27561487
You could have at least fixed my arrow anon.
>>27562372
Is this getting continued or should I leave?
>>27563838
Relax friend. I got other stuff going on too. Will come back to this in a bit.
OP of the original thread here. I'll be honest, I didn't expect this to go so far. You're doing a fine job mixing meta, comedy, and tension. You're doing me proud.
>>27562372
>Is this real life?
>Is this just fantasy?
"What?"
>Well technically yes.
>This is a goddamn kiddy cartoon for girls after all
>"That word... newfag. W-where did you get that?"
"It was what the voices called Luna afte- What does it matter?"
>You start to think she may have more questions than answers from her supposed 'revelation'.
>"Sooo... let me get this straight. Little Lulu dug herself further into the rabbit hole that is my brain, and found what you claim to be a city, filled with these so-called 'aberrant voices', correct?
>She nods
>"Let me guess. Your sister tried to ask them where to find Discord, and then they all called her a newfag to lurk more or something to that extent, yes?
"Y-yes?"
>No. Fucking. Way.
>"You mentioned structures too. Did they happen to, oh I don't know... have names or something?"
"Luna mentioned that they were each signified by various letters."
>Hooooooly shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
>"And waitwaitwait, these, uh voices were all talking about different things in each building right?"
"She... did mention that, yes. But couldn't decipher what all of it meant."
>Well, that's no surprise.
"Where are you going with this, Anonymous? So you admit that you do know of this city and it's value."
>She is soooo full of shit right now
>Very cute
>Very stupid
>But that's okay
>You still loved her
>"Last question, your heiny-ness. The structure your sister found, which you said contained, and I quote: 'Depraved acts made at the expense of my subjects', did it have a name as well?
"..."
>"Well?"
"I believe Luna said it was called...MLP?
>That did it.
>The absurdity of it all took it's toll on you and whatever pretense you maintained melted away
>It started with a small giggle, then exploded into roaring laughter.
"Anonymous, what i-"
>You were now on the floor rolling like a fucking retard, cackling in absolute ecstasy and pain.
"I demand you stop this at once!"
>She seethes at you, but you don't give a shit
bump
>>27564547
MORE DAMN YOUits nice
Bump
Just got back. Bumping this now. Gimme a minute.
>>27564041
Thank ye kindly
>>27564547
>What is happening?
>"Anonymous, that's enough!"
>His bellowing continues to echo throughout the castle.
>You sense your guards approach.
>You telepathically warn them to keep their distance for fear of what the creature before you is capable of.
>Whatever has possessed him to act this way has now made you wonder if you've made a terrible mistake.
>Between his long episodes of hysterical laughter, he mentions words you no longer understand.
>What is a 'moot'?
>And he repeats letters, numbers, and punctuations in seemingly random sequences.
>You fear he is casting some kind of spell.
>You've had enough.
>"SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILEEEEEEENCE!!!!!"
>The room is blinded by the glow of your magic.
>Your magic now envelops the human so firmly, that it would surely crush him if he were one of your beloved ponies
>But you have no fear of that happening.
>Not for this... thing.
"aaaaaaaaaaa... Sweet God almighty that was refreshing. Oh would you look at that, I'm flying!"
>"You have made a fool of me for the last time, Anonymous. Now you will tell me what you know or I swear in my mother's name, I will-"
"But Celestia dear, I thought you already know all my secrets."
>"Ah...I-I..."
>He knows
>His smile taunts me
>"I...Y-you're wro-"
>I have failed
"It was a good try though. You even had me going for a second. Make silly ol' Anon think he screwed up, then make him stumble on himself and say something really stupid and blab whatever you wanted. Bravo, my lady. Very clever. Never saw it coming. You deserve a round of applause."
*clap*
>Your hold on him has vanished
>"NO!"
*clap*
>The next thing you knew, your whole body felt stiff as you lay on the ground.
>"Anonymous... you dar-"
*clap*
>The force that slammed you against the wall caused you to wince in pain.
>Fortunately, you were able to cushion the blow with your own magic.
>After a brief respite, you steel yourself.
>"Of course, you do realize this means war."
>>27566619
>You send forth bursts of energy from your horn
>Part of you hopes none of your attacks will kill him.
>The other part, however, does not.
>He dodges all of your attacks with little effort
>Each missile you hurl towards him misses it's mark as the human teleports instantaneously from one point to another
>Eventually, you paused to catch your breathe as the smoke clears.
"Oh relax, will you? In my defense, you started it. That submission hold you put me in hurt more than you think."
>He stretches his limbs, making his joints pop.
"I just returned the favor."
>It comforts you to know that he can at least register pain.
>"My guards are waiting just around the corner. I've called my sister and all of my best archmages here, and they will arrive within minutes. I may not have the will to take your life, Anonymous. But you will beg for death by the time we are done with you."
"Ow, the edge."
>He is approaching you.
>"Stay back."
"Now now Sun Butt. Don't be like that. I thought we were friends."
>He's getting closer
>Step by slow step
>"I am warning you, Anonymous. Come any closer and I will-"
"Yes yes, end my life. Sure, uh-huh. Whenever you're ready, sunshine."
>Your horn glows brightly
>The energy stored within slowly rises
"It would be a shame though."
>Every step he makes closes the distance between the two of you.
>You take further steps back as you charge your attack
"Suuuuch a shame."
>He's merely inches away now.
>Your energy level is practically at it's peak
"Daaamn fuckin shame."
>It hurts
>You want to stop, but you can't
>You want to hold it in, but you can't
>"Anonymous... don't. Please..."
>You don't want to kill him.
>You want to protect all your loved ones.
>You need to choose
>And you choosethem
>"Anon... I-"
"Since I'm going to give you all that delicious information you would literally kill for."
>>27567236
>You feel your magic fade.
>"...W-what?"
>The power that you've harnessed slowly withers as you try to comprehend what you just heard.
"Of course. Why not?"
>Is this another trick?
>You realize that Anonymous is so close to you he is almost one breath's distance.
>"But... why?"
>You don't understand any of this.
>Not one bit of it
>"None of this makes any sense."
"Come on, Sun Butt..."
>He grasps your chin and draws you closer
>And whispers to youWhat fun is there in making sense?
>"No..."
>The ceiling hit you faster than you could react.
>The force that kept you there threatened to break every bone in your body
>You struggle to break free, but only succeeded in losing more strength
>You attempt to reach out to anypony within the closest reach of your powers
>But there was no presence
>It was as if all life outside the room you were in had ceased to exist
>"Luna.... please."
"Oh don't worry about her, Princess. You two will be seeing each other very soon I think."
>"What are you doing?! You said you would help me!"
"Wait did I say that? Nonono. I said I would give you all that sweet juicy info on Discord."
>It hurts.
>It hurts so much.
"Or something like that."
>You could barely contain your screams.
>Whatever force pinned you to the ceiling is now drawing everything in the room towards it.
>Like a vacuum or some unseen black hole.
"You know, Sun Butt. I really have to thank you for telling me all that shit a while ago. Really put things into perspective for me."
>Everything around you started to lose their form
>The colors started to fade
>The shapes began to disassemble
>Your eyes are failing you
"But in retrospect, maybe you should have just left me alone in this room with your dumb guards. I might have just told you everything I know after I got bored of messing with you. Because sweet Jesus do I enjoy seeing you mad. You're just a boatload of laughs, you know that?"
>>27569768
"But this is going to be way more fun."
>Are you going to die?
>Is this how it all ends?
"All this time, you've been soooo interested about what goes on inside my head. And since you've been so hospitable, I guess I need to return the favor."
>jfriosjsdfdjfdsfd;sfktritr
>wporoiuweoudsfds
>sdasjdsdjsdsd
"You want to know what makes me tick, mate? I'll give you an all expense paid tour!"
>KJHFSDKF!!!
"Welcome to paradise, bitch. ENJOY THE RIDE!"
>>27569856
Is it ogre? Also any pastebin for it?
