Previously on Anonymous In Equestria: The Legend Continues >>25310754
IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY
>rope's Gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/
>>25406462
First
>>25406462
>Tripfags in Equestria
http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony
So, whenever I get stuck in a rut, I guess I need to post how unmotivated I am, because it seems like every time I do, I churn something out within the next several days.
Anyways...
>"Your Highness, a visitor seeks an audience with you."
>You sit upright in your throne, the boredom and lack of activity in the last hour nearly putting you to sleep.
"Thank you. Send them in."
>The guards on either side of the massive double doors pull them open, and a familiar face struts through.
"Anonymous? Guards, do you honestly not recognize who-"
>"It's fine Luna, I told them to be professional about it. I figured you were bored and needed some excitement."
>You stretch as Anonymous makes his way to you, your back popping loud enough to create an echo.
>Sliding over in your throne, Anon has just enough room to sit next to you, which he does.
"So what have you been up to this fine day?"
>He reaches up and scratches your ear, as you can't help but lean into his hand.
>"Not much really. Buried in the library."
"Again? Twilight Sparkle has really rubbed off on you. I suppose the next step is besting her longest reading binge."
>"I can't imagine how long that would be, as I've seen her spend a whole afternoon with her head buried in a book, not moving an inch. It's a little eerie, honestly."
>You chuckle, resting your weight against him as he leans back in the throne.
"From what I recall my sister telling me, Twilight once spent three days straight in the library."
>"As in, afternoons?"
"No, I mean seventy-two hours straight."
>"Wow."
"Yes. I don't know how she does it. Just sitting here for four hours has me feeling stiff."
>Anonymous turns his body, looking at the throne itself.
>"Obviously it's time to upgrade to a lazy boy recliner like mine."
>You can't help but giggle at the mental picture.
"I don't believe that could be even remotely considered professional and proper, Anon. However, it would be a welcome change."
>>25406539
>The quiet conversation is interrupted by the echoing bong of the large clock outside the throne room.
>You rise to your hooves, Anon doing likewise.
"With as uneventful as this day has been, I am surprised it is already five o'clock."
>"I could tell it was almost five. I'm starving."
>The two of you make your way out of the throne room and to the dining room, making small talk along the way.
>Celestia is already seated at the table to greet you when both of you arrive.
>"Hello you two. I assume you're as hungry as I am?"
"I don't think that's possible sister."
>Tia sticks her tongue out at you, making you giggle.
>"Wow, we just arrived and already shots fired. Impressive, Luna."
>You and Anon take seats next to Celestia.
"It comes natural when you've lived with her as long as I."
>"Am I too late for dinner?"
>Twilight Sparkle trots into the room from where you just entered.
"Twilight, what a pleasant surprise. It is as if you heard Anon and I talking about you."
>She stops, perplexed.
>"Me? What did I do?"
>"A three day reading marathon, apparently."
>Twilight takes a seat across from you, seeming to go through her mind for the memory.
>Meanwhile, your sister is unable to contain a minor fit of laughter.
>"Oh, I had forgotten about that. The day I introduced her to the Daring Do series of books, she couldn't help to read them all in one go."
>Twilight perks up.
>"I remember that now! The first book was just so good, there was no way I was going to wait to read the next one!"
>"And the one after that, and so on. From what I recall, those three days were followed by a whole day of sleep."
>Twilight blushes.
>"You complain about me getting too much sleep, and you slept for a whole day? I don't want to hear any more criticisms about my sleeping habits, Twily."
>"Oh hush, Anon. It was only once. You oversleep every day."
>Anon turns to you, as if requesting backup.
"It's true, I practically have to drag you out of bed every morning."
>>25406554
>He crosses his arms, acting frustrated.
>"I'll remember that next time you want me to defend you."
>Everypony in the room gets a good chuckle, as a few servants enter the room hovering dishes in front of them.
>While Celestia gets a vegetable medley stir-fry and you get a fresh vineyard salad, Anon has gone wild with the meat, his plate dominated by a thick steak, amidst a sea of garlic shrimp.
>It took quite a bit of reassurance that neither you or your sister were bothered by his normal diet before he finally gave in and began eating what he really craved.
>Not a minute passes before another servant arrives, placing a nice garden salad in front of Twilight.
>Nopony hesitates to dig in, the dining room devoid of conversation for some time.
"So Twilight, what does bring you to Canterlot this time of the day?"
>"Anon sent a letter to me a few days ago. He said the two of you have been having some difficulty talking to the changeling you've apparently caught?"
>You glance to your left at Anonymous, who grins sheepishly.
>Despite his protests, you have been hesitant to allow him to accompany you to the dungeon.
>Not necessarily because of danger, but because you fear he may be unable to control his emotions.
"Did he now? I was not informed of this."
>"I thought I said something to you about it. My bad, Luna."
>You sigh, turning your attention back to the purple alicorn across the table.
"To tell the truth Twilight, it has not been going well at this time. In addition to a lack of information about Chrysalis's whereabouts and intentions, very little progress has been made in regards to identifying changelings masquerading as common ponies."
>"Well, I've been reading up on some law and psychology books the past couple days, maybe I can help?"
"I suppose I am running out of ideas, perhaps a fresh mind can come up with something."
>"And maybe you can give me a crack at it too, Luna. Like you promised?"
"Anonymous, please. It is for your own safety."
>>25406562
>He leans back in his chair, studying you.
>"Luna, what's the real reason you won't let me down there?"
>You scoff.
"That is the real reason, Anon."
>The room is silent, as you return to picking at your plate.
>"Either I'm getting better at reading you, or you're turning into a really bad liar, Luna."
>Anonymous folds his arms, as all eyes dart between him and you.
>Seeing no way out of his condemning gaze, you relent.
"Anon, do you recall what we discussed about your.... magic predicament?"
>"You mean if I use magic, I risk frying myself?"
"Yes. I don't intend to be rude, but I fear you may not be capable of keeping your emotions in check, and thus, your magic contained within."
>Twilight interrupts before Anonymous can respond.
>"Wait, hold on. Using magic can kill him? When did you find this out?!"
>Celestia breaks her silence, giving you a chance to sip at your water.
>"We aren't one hundred percent sure, Twilight. For right now, it's a theory based on what happened in your home during and directly following the exchange between Anon and Chrysalis."
>"And with all due respect, Lulu, I'm willing to take the risk."
>Nearly choking, you set down your water.
"Anonym-"
>Animated, he shakes his head, interrupting you.
>"Luna, Chrysalis wants me. And she's not going to care who gets in her way. If it takes harming or killing someone, she nor her minions are going to hesitate. If that happens, that blood is on me. And I'm not going to live with that guilt my whole life."
>He unfolds his arms.
>"We haven't come up with anything useful in the months since the incident. I know I'm impatient at times, but the more we sit around with our thumbs... or hooves or whatever, up our asses, the more likely it is I'm going to wind up dead anyways."
>You can't help but gasp at Anon's harsh tone.
"Don't say that! You act as if there is no hope!"
>He seems to ease off a bit.
>>25406578
>"I'm sorry, but I've been quiet about how I feel about this for a while now. But no more, I'm getting more involved in ending this standoff with these creatures whether you like it or not, Luna."
>His words seem to echo as if a gavel had been struck.
>"So, tomorrow morning, maybe?"
>Twilight's eyes nervously scan the room, as she flashes an uneasy grin.
>As a dramatic score builds up from the television, Anonymous jolts upright from your desk he was slouched upon.
"Fall asleep?"
>He turns to you, holding something in his hands.
>"No, testing this thing. Definitely still works."
>He displays it to you, the object looking like a collar, but with a curious small box attached to it.
"Is it a collar, a necklace... what is that?"
>He points at you.
>"Collar. Shock collar, to be more precise. In my world, we used these to train dogs. When the dog wearing it does something wrong, like stray away from the property, this box will emit a small shock that startles the dog. I had a feeling I pack ratted it somewhere in my house from when I had a dog, Twilight found it for me."
>You cringe as he describes how it works.
"And your reason for testing that is...?"
>"It's not going to hurt our little changeling friend, but it will shock the hell out of him. Or her, or it, whatever."
>Motioning for him to join you on your bed, he sets the collar down on your desk and flops beside you.
>His excitement for tomorrow morning is making you increasingly uneasy.
"Anon, you aren't looking forward to this for the wrong reasons, are you?"
>His eyes dart across the room, as if looking for the answer.
>"I don't follow. Wrongs reasons as in, what?"
"Revenge? Sadism?"
>He seems genuinely hurt by your inquisition as he puts an arm around your neck.
>"Lulu, I know you're worried about how I'm going to react during our little interrogation tomorrow, but I swear to you, this is purely to get what we need out of the prisoner, nothing more."
>He stops for a moment, before pressing on.
>>25406582
>"I suppose I didn't help matters regarding your apprehension with my little speech during dinner, did I?"
>Anon his the proverbial nail on the head with that question.
"No, you were a little... charged up."
>"Well, it's just been festering in the back of my mind for a while now. I didn't mean for it to be that harsh. But you and Celly - hell, everyone - has done so much for me, caught me so many times when I tripped. I got us into this mess by being impatient and rushing into danger, I want to at least play a part in getting out of this shit."
>You poke him playfully in the ribs with a hoof.
"You seem to forget you've caught me a few times when I fell. I'd say we're already even."
>"In that case, I want to get ahead of you."
"You're just stubborn, is all."
>He wraps his other arm around you, hugging you tight.
>"I learned it from you."
>You giggle, sharing a kiss with him, before your attention turns to the television.
"So, what are we watching anyways?"
>"Eh, various crime dramas. Figure I may as well get into the spirit of things, maybe I can pick up a thing or two from the questioning scenes."
"Twilight, I can see her getting some useful insight after a reading marathon on psychology. This might be a stretch, Anon."
>"Oh ye of little faith. You'll take that back when we find out where Chrysalis is tomorrow."
"If you managed to do that, I'd have no choice but to knight you."
"Alright, I won't do that, then."
>You turn out the light beside you, snuggling up to Anon as the next episode rolls on the TV.
>A loud clang echoes through the damp dungeon as Anonymous raps on the cell bars.
>"Wake up, you slimy sack of shit!"
>Startled awake, the changeling prisoner jumps to its hooves, head darting around before focusing on your group.
>This is one of the few mornings Anon has woken you up, instead of what is normally the other way around.
>You've relented, allowing Anon to head this interrogation session, which he was all too eager to accept.
>>25406592
>Meanwhile, Twilight is confident in her research binge on psychology and methods of spotting 'tells,' as she called them.
>Hopefully, any information you can get, she can confirm is the truth.
>"What, cat got your tongue?"
>You lean over to Anon.
"It seems as though changelings in their normal form are unable to speak in our tongues. I have always had our prisoner shift into me to get it to talk."
>Apparently it heard you, as the changeling's form begins to warp, before once again your duplicate is behind bars.
>"Well, not impossible, but rather difficult. I see the princess brought her toy with her today."
>You scowl, seeming only to give it more joy as it continues.
>"Oh, and the purple runt is here. This is great, I was beginning to tire of seeing only this stick in the mud all the time."
>"I suppose it's your lucky day then. Not only do you get new visitors, you get to see them out from behind bars."
>As Anonymous taunts the creature, you use your magic to bind both its front hooves together with rope, as well as its hind legs.
>You nod to Anon when you are satisfied, sliding open the wrought iron door.
>Carefully, Anon pulls out the collar he was fiddling with last night, fastening it around the changeling's neck.
>"And what exactly is this supposed to be?"
>"We're going to play a fun little game. I'm going to ask some questions, and you're going to answer them. Depending on whether we like the answer, we will either move on, or that little collar is going to give you a nice jolt. Every wrong answer kicks up the jolt a bit, every right answer knocks it down a notch."
>The creature smirks, as Anon pulls out a small remote.
>"You're going to have to do better than that if you're going to psyche me out."
>He presses a button, causing your twin to jump.
>"Still think I'm joking? That was just the lightest setting. All set to play?"
>The smirk on its face is gone, replaced by the slightest hint of worry.
>>25406603
>"Let's start out slow here. I want to know, how high up on the chain of command are you in the grand scheme of things?"
>A chuckle is the initial response received.
>"I've already told your pretty princess friend there, I am just one of my mother's common drones. Nothing special, which is why I'm still here with you."
>While Twilight shakes her head, signaling Anon it is lying, he presses on.
>"I don't believe that for an instant. you see, if I was a queen trapped in an enemy's dungeon, I'd want only my best soldier behind enemy lines to save me. I want the cream of the crop, someone with experience. I'll give you a free retry, since we're just starting here."
>It shrugs its shoulders.
>"I don't know what you want me to tell you, then."
>"Level one it is."
>A few presses of the remote, and the changeling grits its teeth, sitting straight upright as it writhes in pain.
>You can't help but feel a pang of sympathy, trying to imagine what that felt like.
>The creature takes a deep breath as Anon relents.
>"I'm... one of Mother's.... first."
>All eyes turn to Twilight, who nods solemnly.
>She seems taken aback by the display as well.
>"Okay, we're getting somewhere. You're one of Chrysalis's first born, I take it?"
>"Yes."
>Anonymous paces the room, while you sit down to the left of the seated prisoner.
>"I'd say that makes you pretty important. Important enough to not leave behind, at least not forever. So how many changelings have we got in the castle waiting to rescue you?"
>"I don't know. Maybe none, maybe a hundred."
"Lies, you know if there is other changelings in our midst. You said so yourself, you have telepathy."
>Anonymous stops his pacing, his interest piqued.
>"Telepathy? When did you find this out?"
>Before you can reply, your duplicate interrupts.
>"The gift only shared between Mother and child. We do not share the gift amongst ourselves."
>"It's telling the truth, Anon."
>Anon points to Twilight.
>>25406606
>"Be glad I brought this purple runt with me, I was getting ready for level two of this thing."
>"Hey!"
>"No offense, Twily. Just using its own words."
>Pressing on, Anon once again begins pacing the cell, the creature beginning to look more and more shaken.
>While you are impressed the method seems to be getting results, you still find the charade rather sickening to watch.
[Anon, I think you are enjoying this too much.]
>His eyes focus on you.
>[Relax, Moonbutt. It's all part of rattling this thing's composure, nothing more.]
>For now, you relent, allowing him to continue.
>"Why don't we move on to the main event here, what does Chrysalis want with me. From what I understand, you've told Luna here I am not wanted dead, but alive. Why is that?"
>"Mother's plans are only revealed to us when we play a part in them. Otherwise, you know as much as we do."
>Once again, Twilight shakes her head no, and Anon presses the remote.
>An unsettling hiss erupts from the prisoner as a charge of energy courses through its body.
>"Nope, we don't like that answer. Care to try that one again, or do you want level two?"
>"I'm telling you the truth! That purple one is just a sadistic little wench!"
>"Level two!"
>Your duplicate shrieks in agony, thrashing about as it falls to the floor.
>The cries seem to echo endlessly, long after the the creature quiets down.
>"That looked like it hurt a bit more. I'll give you a sec to catch your breath."
>It feels like an eternity before the thing is able to speak.
>"Mother has found very few foes that can stand up to her. Mother was under the impression you did not possess magic, but her metting with you proved that wrong."
>Your twin rises to its hooves, still a bit wobbly.
>"Mother desires your power for herself."
>An uneasy silence settles upon the cell.
>You don't understand how Chrysalis thinks she can harness that power for herself.
>Nor do you want to know, for that matter.
>>25406616
>"See? This can be very easy and painless if you just answer correctly the first time."
>"You will not be laughing after Mother has her way with you."
>anon rolls his eyes, as the fake Luna scowls.
>"I think you're getting ahead of yourself here. But while we're on that subject, where is mommy dearest?"
>The question incites a bout of laughter from the weary prisoner.
>"You really think I will tell you where the hive is located? You think I would betray my own kind?"
>"Okay, we'll start on level two this time."
>You cringe and turn away as the creature screams again.
[Anonymous, maybe we need to take a break.]
>[We're on a roll. We need to press on, Lulu.]
>"Now, try again. I can do this all day, and I still have three more levels on this baby to play with."
>"Go... to... Tartarus.."
>"Cool. Level three!"
>The howls only get louder as the energy increases, the changeling flailing about.
>You spot something that makes your blood run cold.
"Anon, stop!"
>He looks over at you confused, letting go of the button on the remote.
>With a surge of adrenaline, the creature growls, noticing the loosened bindings on its forehooves.
>You try to jump in front of it, but the changeling is quicker, leaping at Anonymous and landing a forehoof across his head, knocking him to the floor.
"Twilight, help me!"
>Before it can take another lunge at Anon, you and Twilight manage to hold the thing back, as you use a bast of magic to subdue the raging beast.
>It falls to the floor, knocked unconscious.
"Dammit, Anon! When I say we need to take a break, we take a break from now on, do you understand?"
>You turn around to him, where he still remains on the floor.
"Anon, are you alright?"
>Your heart rate begins to quicken as you gingerly roll him over.
>An ugly bruise begins to form on the left side of his head, as he lays unconscious.
"Anon, we need to get going!"
>Carefully pulling an eyelid up with your magic, his pupil nearly takes up his whole eye.
"TIA!!"
>>25406626
>The doctors surround Anonymous in a flurry of activity as You and Celestia arrive at the hospital in a flash.
>Numerous tubes and devices are connected up to him, as you try to understand what is going on.
>"Sister, what happened?"
"I don't know! Somehow the thing's bindings got loose, and it just- "
>"I don't have anything over here!"
>The pace of a few doctors quickens, as one attaches something that looks like a bag over Anon's face, pumping it rhythmically.
>What the hay are they doing?
"Sister, I must admit, I didn't pay attention in health or anatomy in school, what - "
>"Still nothing!"
>None of this makes sense!
>He took a blow to the head, clearly it's a concussion.
>A few doctors walk away, as the feverish movement in the room slows down.
"Where are you going?! As your princess, I demand that you return at once!"
>"Luna-"
"We both demand your undivided care upon Anonymous!"
>"Luna-"
"Hush sister!"
>Everypony seems to ignore you as they slowly shuffle past, leaving a ragtag group in the room.
>You can't keep your composure any longer as you raise your voice ever louder.
"Why aren't any of you doing anything?!"
>The head doctor looks over at you, his gaze one of empathy and fatigue.
>"I'm sorry."
>You suddenly feel extremely ill as your knees become weak.
"No. Nonono. NonoNONO!NO!NO!"
>You feel something catch you as you lose all control.
>"Time of death..."
I'm off to bed now, hope that was as depressing to read as it was to write.
http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony
>>25406636
Still one of my all time favorite stories.
Question for the writefags.
Lets say I was writing a story, and it's told in a way where large parts of it are flashbacks, would it sound better if written in present tense as though they were just experiencing it, or in past tense where the character is sort of just watching the events and narrating them. I'm asking for a friendits me
>>25407035
If it's a flashback, then always past tense.
I feel bad for it but would this be the right palce to ask for some recommendations ?
>>25407035
Jumping in and out of time, especially in the same section of a story, can be very jarring for your reader. If you are really dependent on flashbacks, you need to have good, clear, solid transitions while also limiting the amount of jumps you have to do.
There can, of course, be minor interruptions, but for the most part if your reader is aware that things are happening in the past, you should probably stick with present tense.
>>25407065
it depends on what you need recommended, really
>>25407068
Thanks for the advice.
>>25407078
stuff to read really
there's a million pastebins yes with awesome writers but well filter options are missing here are they not
there's the fimfiction website but seriously the few pastebins I have seen have all been better - heh and were finished stories
>>25407065
Giving us a rough idea of what you like is always helpful. I just went through the masterlist real quick and pulled a few. There's a hell of a lot more you should check out, I'd be here for ages if I went through and picked them all out.
http://pastebin.com/PcGdaxTj
http://pastebin.com/yct4pgCg
http://pastebin.com/8607sJAC
http://pastebin.com/kNeBVYhK
http://pastebin.com/ZQS2Aiev
http://pastebin.com/SMwVVyJD
http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra
http://pastebin.com/u7XWW0yH
http://pastebin.com/eNzgdW1B
http://pastebin.com/0Upn7sUf
http://pastebin.com/zSBq0Un4
http://pastebin.com/TZeSir3X
http://pastebin.com/40mr44VHCurrently being rewritten, but if you're willing to dig through the archives to find the original. I'm sure IceMan would love it and find it sweet of you.
http://pastebin.com/85c5SxnZ
http://pastebin.com/Z2CvQUvc
http://pastebin.com/ZKrsQtDp
http://pastebin.com/qT9YwQcU
Anything from these guys
http://pastebin.com/u/CYOA_AiE
http://pastebin.com/u/FlutterPriest
http://pastebin.com/u/Vhatug Pretty much entirely NSFW
http://pastebin.com/u/Anonpencil Same deal as Vhatug but AnonPencil writes more rape with prehensile penises, slug sex and human fashion.
>>25407130
>finished stories
Start here if you haven't already
http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
It's out of date, but I'm really struggling to think if there are many stories which have finished in recent memory.
Beyond that, try to find a genre that entices you, or even a writefag that you like. We can give you more suggestions based on similar stories, or other writefags who have comparable styles.
Additionally:
As I'm supposed to write "all of the things" (>>25406896) and I have some open time, I'll take some requests.
>>25407176
>http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
heh yeah that's what I mean - pone filter is missing here for me at least
I've read
http://pastebin.com/u/jffry890
jffry's Anon x Fluttershy story - which he still "didn't find the energy to rewrite it" haha
Drivers original Flutterrape story
and some other tiny Anon on Flutter stories
>Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY
everything in there that catched my eye too
why I might have even emptied the bucket without knowing it but these stories are the only stuff I'm into ~thanks for trying to help out by the way~
>>25407174
looky here
>>25407176
thanks a lot you kind bunch of writefags didn't even expect that
~I'll check that list
Anon x Fluttershy romance, slice of life, ... anything that goes in that direction really and well the longer the story is the better
heh I'm a cliche guy who only really reads these stories because I fucked up hard at one point and reading these is like I don't know therapy for me
>>25407174
Hey, I wrote...some sfw stuff.
So... any stories in which humans are thought of as incredibly powerful creatures, and summoned by a pony, but the summoned guy just turns out to be an average man?
I think I read a chrysalis fic where that happened once. The human did still have magic immunity or some shit like that.
>>25407879
Most "The ponies know about humans prior to Anon showing up" stories have a habit of falling flat.
>>25408521
I for one would like a story where they know about humans and are indifferent to them.
Like Anon has to bum change for the interdimentional bus service to get home or something.
>>25408651
So write it.
>>25409243
ew, effort
>>25407174
The original Mad Science is here: http://pastebin.com/ssCW9GdV
>>25409934
coo
Stupid short green to keep this thread alive.
>Day lost track in Equestria.
>Luna rests her head on your shoulder as the movie on the TV draws to a close.
>"I liked that movie. One of the few you have that doesn't involve car chases."
>You decide to tease her.
"Are you saying you don't like car chase movies? You know, ponies that don't like them aren't allowed in my house."
>She smirks
>"Oh. Did you know humans that don't allow me into their home have their dreams about cross-dressing revealed to their closest friends?"
"I've never had a dream about dressing like a girl, so you lose."
>The alicorn leans closer to your ear.
>"Not yet, you haven't.."
"I suppose I can make an exception to my rule, in your case."
>She giggles.
>"I thought you might."
>>25411125
that is 3qt5mi. I am kill.
>>25411348
oh no
>>25411125
Crossdressing Anon in Equestria when?
>>25411491
When you drink the magic bleach
>>25411491
>Anon explains this as a cultural difference
>Says in the human realm only the manliest men are comfortable wearing womens clothing
>The next day all the biggest and toughest stallions are wearing dresses
>Bulk Biceps is even wearing makeup
>>25412058
>It backfires when Anon notices that most of the stallions are more attractive than the mares.
>He has to question a few things about himself.
>Luckily Big Mac reminds him that it's only gay if the balls touch and you forget to say no homo.
>Big Mac doesn't crossdress.
>Dear Princess Celestia,
>Spider Anon here. Just wanted to let you know that Anonymous is recovering from his illness quite well. Also, that task you asked me about earlier has been taken care of. I sang songs to him and told him he needed to "wake up" while my venom slowly digested him. I even got Miss Heartstrings to pretend to be his wife and beg him to not die.
>In related news Lyra and I are dating now. I hope she does not attempt to consume me after mating.
>Sincerely,
>Spider Anon.
>p.s. Dwarf Anon says hi.
>>25406909
read Bros in Equestria
that was a good story
>>25413604
I have.
It was.
>>25413613
>>25413604You guys are trying to flatter me.
Anyone else find that writting tired and editing when you're awake is the way to go?
>>25405682
Obviousy the answer is to make him immortal.
>>25413993
I always write when I can't sleep.
I may not finish the story but I'll get a large chunk out.I don't proof though
>>25413877
Sh-shut up and write more pony, baka
>>25414266
I'M BUSY.I'm really not, just the pace I've got going is good for me.Lord help me, I thought of another story idea while getting dinner tonight.
>>25414327Hey man, whatever works. I appreciate you not being one of those dedfags cluttering up the place
>>25414073
>>25413993
Believe it or not, I tend to get most of my ideas thought out right in that transition between awake and asleep. Then, when I get up, I start roughly writing it out.
This is probably also why I scrap a lot of shit, because the next night, that idea usually comes back, but changed a bit.
https://derpiboo.ru/1021348
>>25414589
That's sexual harassment.
>>25414589
What. A. Bitch.
>Dear Princess Celestia,
>So, is there some kind of pony thing going on right now? Random mares keep coming up to me to sniff my crotch. I wouldn't mind so much if they would give me money when I ask them. I have no idea why they are the ones getting upset. Nothing in life is free. My dick included.
>Sincerely,
>Anonymous.
>p.s. Free sniffs to any white or dark blue alicorn that brings pizza and beer this weekend.
>>25415278
Inb4 Twilight paints herself white.
>>25415824
Fuck it. She's good as long as she brings pizza. Anon is like that girl who goes on dates because she is hungry.
>>25409934
around 3800 lines, I wonder how long it'd take to read that
does somebody care to explain what this story is about ?
>>25415278
O yea.
>>25414589
>>25416012
I like it when Celestia is a big pone.
>>25416235
Me too.
>>25406636
What the fuck was that? Was that the end or what?
>>25416339
I hope not. That would be really lame.
>>25416353
I mean there's like close to to 40 chapters in this story and I can't see it all end in one little green post without any conclusion. Anon's gonna have to pull some Janitor Anon shit to get out of this if it isn't the end.But if it is, I'm coming for you, AutoPony
>You're doing it with your shy, clingy pone gf
>you grab her tight and decide to make a joke
>"AHHHH!!!! SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!"
>She pushes you off
>"Who the hell is Summer?"
>She gets all mad and pouty when you try to tell her it's a joke
>it was funny to you
>>25416908
It's awful when no one likes your jokes.
>>25415929
Anon is a dick physicist with no friends because he's a dick to everyone. He builds a science portal and accidentally sends himself to Equestria. Antics ensue, mostly science related. I had it finished at one point, got it critiqued and found a lot of mistakes, especially with the ending. Then I fixed the mistakes and started writing new chapters, only to find that there were other mistakes that I couldn't fix just by re-writing what I had. So I started over.
I just collected all the chapters that I had previously written into one Pastebin because I didn't want them sitting around as I wrote new chapters and confusing everyone, so that explains the length. It's 59037 words, so about the time it would take you to read a short novel.
>>25417513
>Anon is a dick physicist
I like this idea
>Be Anon
>While performing dick science experiments on the large hardon collider you opened a rift in space
>You strapped a camera to your penis and thrust into it as if it were a space vagina
>Which for all you knew it was
>It opened wider and you fell through
>And then it fizzled out
>Now you're in the middle of a room full of smallish brightly coloured equines with a sensor-package strapped to your package
I recall a story about anon being from the Minecraft universe.
I don't think it got finished but if anyone knows who wrote it and perhaps could spare a link I'd love to re-read it.
I remember it providing a chuckle or two with the reactions to his "magic".
>>25417997
Yeah I remember that story. I liked it a lot.
>>25418030
And as I'm looking thought the archive I accidentally stumbled across it.
http://pastebin.com/u/Brewny
Equestriacraft.
>>25412663
>Big Mac doesn't crossdress.
Immersion broken.
>>25418053
I thought that was Braeburn's thing.
>>25414589
10/10
>>25417026
Why is his skin transparent?
>>25418062
Watch brotherhooves social and Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep. He enjoys it a little TOO much.
>>25418091
Magic.
>>25418105
You enjoy it a little too much...
>>25418105
He likes the attention.
Now that all the other stallions are wearing dresses, he's standing out by not wearing one.
>>25414064
I actually have a whole story planned out, I just thought that might be a cool place to end it if people liked that ending.Will try to do more tonight if I'm not too tired. Although if all goes as planned for tomorrow, I wouldn't count on me writing tomorrow night.
Anybody got some good Pinkie stories? Last time I checked the pastebin it was just stuff I've already read.
>>25418804
Who?
>>25418845
Pinkie Pie.
>>25416339
>>25416353
>>25416606
I'm working on the next chapter right now. Don't hurt me pls.
>>25418898
Still not recognizing
>>25419632
Sunset Shimmer.
>Fuck
>Your
>Phone
>Anon
>>25419632
ADHD Red and White Mixed.
Cats are perfectly feasible sexual partners
Cold weather ain't got shit on me.
>>25419314
>"Poppa?"
>Hotshot tugs on your sleeve.
>You give a small grunt before pulling your lips away from the straw.
"What's up, bud?"
>"Isn't that cold?"
>You glance at the milkshake in your hand and then nod.
"Well, yeah, that's the idea. It's ice cream after all."
>"Yeah, but-"
>The boy's face scrunches up as he stares up at you, choosing his next words carefully.
>"But, it's almost Hearthswarming."
>You glance around, noting the snow already on the ground.
>After a moment, you bob your head.
"I suppose it is."
>Bringing the straw back to your lips, you give a rather noisy slurp.
>The winged satyr raises an eyebrow as he watches you.
>"But isn't it kind of weird to be walking around in the snow with ice cream?"
>Wetting your lips, you take a deep breath and sigh.
"Shot, let me tell you something my Poppa once told me."
>You turn your head forward, staring off into the distance.
>Even still, you can feel the expectant eyes of the boy.
>After another moment of silence, you smile and nod.
"I have a vice. And it's ice cream in winter."
>"Oh."
>Well if that isn't the sound of sheer disappointment, you don't know what is.
>Walking a little further, you turn your attention back to Hotshot and smirk.
"Hey."
>He looks up at you right as you point the straw towards his face.
"Wanna sip?"
>Hotshot grins and rolls his eyes.
>But he takes one anyway.
>And the way his face lights up...
>It reminds you that there really are very important things for a father to pass on to his son.
>>25419754
>Important things like the watch
>Your family has had this watch for generations
>When you became a man your father passed it down to you, who received it from your grandfather.
>You reach into your pants and pull it out, feeling warm in the cold weather
"This is an old family heirloom, and our proudest tradition."
>"A watch?"
"It's a symbol of our unshakable ability to endure any hardship"
>You hand the ancient gold timepiece over"
>He holds it and inspects it with youthful curiosity
"We have carried it in our rectums for over a hundred years, and now it's your turn to carry it on"
>He looks at you with what you think is confusion
>It looks like the lad needs some help
"Don't worry, I'll help you get it in, the first time can be a little difficult for some."
>You reach around and grab his buttock firmly
>And with the other hand, you take the watch from him and slip it deftly inside him
>He yelps sharply, maybe you should have used some lube?
>Nah, he'll get used to it.
>>25419456
Good. I have become emotionally invested in this green. Godspeed.
>>25419719
>>>/utg/
>>25414503
was there any green to go with this image?
>>25420096
>>>/flutterrape/
Perdy green when?
>>25421225
Is that Derpy's twin sister who didn't get dropped?
>>25421225
>Save picture.
>1447389661682.png already exists.
HOW CAN THIS BE!
>>25421246
Why yes, Perdy IS the evil twin.
>>25421291
Well shit, I can't let that slide.
>You stand out in the open on top of the building.
>The wind howls as rain beats against your face.
>Across from you, two grey pegasi are glaring at each other.
>The one without glasses takes a step forward.
>"Your reign of terror has gone on too long Perdy. I won't let you drop any more pianos on Twilight Sparkle, or her friends!"
>"Ha, and double ha!"
>Perdy scoffs.
>"As if you can stop me, I'm the clever one, remember?"
>Derpy snarls and lunges through the air.
>Perdy does likewise.
>Lightening flashes across the sky as they collide and wrestle their way across the rooftop
>You watch in amazement as the two mares shake each other.
>Perdy's glasses fly off in the confusion.
>And, as you watch, a gun rolls out of the tangle of limbs and lands at your feet.
"Oh, what the-"
>Immediately, both ponies stop and hop to their hooves.
>You look between the identical mares.
>The one on the left cuts in first.
>"Anon, you know what you have to do."
"Are you kidding? This is like a poorly done version of-"
>"Stop arguing and pick up the gun!"
>That's the one on the right.
>What a bitch.
>You sigh, reaching down and grabbing the pistol.
>Clutching it in both your hands, you twist back and forth dramatically between the two mares
"Oh. Oh no. Who do I shoot!?"
>It's not very convincing
>But Derpy never did set the bar very high.
>Righty throws up a hoof.
>"Anon! You have to shoot one of us, but know that I'm the real Derpy!"
>"You little shit! I'm the real Derpy!"
>You stare at Lefty
>She's squinting at her doppleganger.
>Which mean she called you a little shit.
>What the fuck?
>Scowling, you pull the trigger.
>>25421409
>Lefty screams as salt water gets into her eyes.
>She crumples to the ground, and you twirl the squirt gun around once.
>"Anon, you did it!"
>Righty-er-Derpy bounds up to you.
>"How did you know I was me?"
>You grin.
"I didn't."
>Derpy's smile drops a little.
>"What do you mean you di-"
>She screams as she gets an eyeful of saltwater too.
>As the two mares writhe on the rooftop, you drop the gun and turn back towards the stairs.
"Okay girls, I'm going home and taking a shower. Next time I see you, you better have this worked out."
>Their screams are drowned out by the crack of thunder.
>You stand at the stairs, looking back at them.
"...They'll be fine."
>Besides, you've got a bubblebath planned when you get back.
>Seriously, fuck ponies making you go out in the rain for this stupid shit.
>>25421425
>>25418105
Yes, he enjoys crossdressing. He does not however enjoy all of the stallions hitting on him. He's a very private person and it embarrasses him.
>>25421409
>>25421425
>You're Derpy Hooves.
>You're sitting on the couch at the house of your wonderful, awesome, best friend Anon's house. You're watching his magical teevee box while you sip a soda that's resting on your belly.
>Well, technically you were watching the tv box as well as the ceiling fan, but that was besides the point.
>Everything was going fine until your ear twitched and you heard something from outside.
>"Yeah, that weird monkey's in there with that weird mare with the eyes."
>"Let's just be glad that they're keeping amongst themselves."
>Your head sings down as you feel a familiar panging in your chest.
>Not everypony in town made fun of your eyes, but enough did that you really didn't have that many friends.
>There was Anon, and Carrot Top let you sleep on her couch sometimes...
>You sigh. In a kingdom built on friendship and harmony, having neither made you sort of feel like an outsider at best.
>A failure at worst.
"Hey Anon?"
>"Yeah Derps?" he asks, stuffing popcorn into his mouth.
"Should I uh, do something to fix my eyes?"
>"Why?" he asks.
"Well...it might make me fit in more, and be more approachable. I could stop being clumsy and just be a normal pony..."
>Anon is silent for what seems like a long time before he pats your head and hands you some popcorn with a smile.
>"You're my best friend, Derpy. I think you're perfect the way you are."
"Huh?"
>Anon pets your mane a bit. "Wouldn't change a thing, truth."
>You think a bit and realize that the voices outside might have had it right, you and Anon do stay together because you're both weird.
>But that also meant you both saw how weird you were and liked it.
>You giggle and lay back again, munching the popcorn.
"What'sh happening now?"
>"Well there's two brothers, in a van, and then a meteor hits, and they ran as fast as they could..."
>Anon talks while you think.
>In this town, there weren't many people who really got you, but there was at least one.
>And that was good enough for you.
>>25421425
Crosspostan
>You are Anon, reading stories about little ponies.
>You lament the lack of content.
>Suddenly someone tells you to write.
>How horribly rude of them, it's like they think that everyone can write rather than just a select few with high enough faggotry levels.
>You are nowhere near as homo to write.
>TFW no homo.
>So anyway there's this guy on the internet who wants you to write.
>Fuck that guy.
>You're just getting back to your totally productive hobby of designing medical devices for poorfags when you notice a bright light coming from under your desk.
>That's weird, you've never seen anything like this.
>You're about to lean down to investigate when a hook-nosed griffon leaps out and tackles you to the floor.
>"Yes, this monkey goyim will do nicely for the markets."
>She ties you up and drags you under your desk.
>After an unpleasant and bumpy ride through a tear in the universe you arrive in some griffon town.
>It looks like you're doomed until you notice something on a shelf nearby.
>It's a menorah, the christmass tree of the jews.
>Seeing it fills you with the fury of a thousand angry serbs, and a single idea.
>What if this means the griffon is a kike?
"REMOVE GRIFFON FROM PREMISES!"
>You concentrate with all your might and unleash your inner power.
>Your fart stuns the griffon and you bodyslam it into the small poorly ventilated bathroom.
>The foul gas continues to surge forth, vanquishing your enemy, who now lies dead in her shower.
>After some struggling and rummaging you manage to remove your bonds with a kitchen knife and escape through the portal.
>Today will live on as the day you killed six griffons in self defence.
>No, it was sixty innocent griffons in cold blood.
>Wait, my friend, do you not mean six thousand who were murdered merely for being feathered?
>Anyway, you barricade the underside of your desk and go back to waiting for someone to write something.
>Be Invisible Anon.
>You took a dump on Twilight while she was taking a nap.
>Honestly you would have done that even if they could see you.
>Man you're bored.
>Be Anony "Dookie Two Shoes" Mous.
>Worst gangster on the east coast.
>You've been in Equestria for about a week now and you figure it's time to set up your own operation.
>So you start a protection racket. Or you try to at least.
>The ponies thought you were selling accident insurance.
>Turns out there is a large demand for that sort if thing in this town.
>Your boss would be so mad at you right now, but he isn't here. And you're making some pretty good scratch goin legit like this.
>You don't even have to bust up kneecaps. Just writing up contracts and having ponies sign them.
>You'd rather be known as an insurance agent instead of the guy who shit his pants during that burglary anyway.
>>25419754
Yuss. Satyrs.
It's that time again folks where I do the active list so I feel like I'm contributing enough to the threads enough to not need to write.
Also, I noticed a few of stories with no pastebin links so I want to remind people if you're not on the active list, it's because I add stories with direct pastebin links to the story.
Either make a post in thread, or message me on skype at sin.aie with a link to the story so I can put you on it.
Oct 31st
• "Anonpencil Writes Drunk: Going With The Flow" by AnonPencil [http://pastebin.com/H9zyxXH5]
Nov 1st
• "SpiderAnon: Nightmare Night" by Mind Wave [http://pastebin.com/sQVN1yaB]
Nov 2nd
• "Anonymous's House of Horrors" by IceMan [http://pastebin.com/rRXVXuu3]
Nov 3rd
• "Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]
Nov 4th - 6th
• No New Stories
Nov 7th
• "Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]
Nov 8th
• "The Ones of Legend" by Jffry890 [http://pastebin.com/7YEetcTJ]
Nov 9th
• "Moonie Shorts" by 8th-Sin [http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra]
• "Am I Evil 18: Awakening" by Mandroid [http://pastebin.com/tXYWE6kA]
Nov 10th
• No New Stories
Nov 11th
• "Let's Run Away Together" by Sneaky [http://pastebin.com/cFemKwRW]
Nov 12th
• "Changing Lanes 38: Detonation" by AutoPony [http://pastebin.com/fHaGN63U]
Nov 13th
• No New Stories
>>25423727
Rad
>>25423727
I totally missed that Spider Anon story. Awesome work Mind Wave.
Never 4get
>>25424865
Why Veers?
>>25424943because using my husbando would cheapen the message
Crossroads are you lurking?
Somewritefag?
Beans?
>>25424339
Thanks
>>25424974
Okay.
>>25425472
>dat filename
UNF
N
F
>>25425472
>>25425745
>>dat filename
Reminds me of something. Online with m8s playing vidya, deathmatch, pewpew, etc. Two guys on the other team are just wrecking, and we can't do shit about it because their names make us crack up when we try and cross talk and plan.
Their names?
Anakin Thighwalker
Throat Yogurt
Their k/d's were amazing.
Aspiring writefag here. With the show still going on and the status quo changing every season, how do you guys adapt if you're writing lengthy stories? If I wanted to write a story of decent length, is it sensible to pick a period during the show's run and just make a pseudo-alternate timeline with it?
>>25426204
Basically, yeah. If episode-related stuff comes up, try and keep a consistent point in mind for when your story takes place in relation to them.
Do what you want to. Following canon is really optional.
>>25425875
I've been giggling about Throat Yogurt for a half an hour.
>>25426204
Pseudo-alternate timeline is what I go with. In my mind once Anonymous is introduced to the ponies the story has to go through some real dedicated effort to follow the show since such a drastic change has to have effected the events and characters somehow.
>>25426315
Infinite Earths
Infinite Equestrias
But you're still stuck here
Just like me.
>>25426325
At least our version has internet.
>>25426204
I've found that the easiest way to think about it is that you've already borked the entire universe by adding a human. WoG was that humans would never be in Equestria, so you're already breaking the golden rule by considering writing an AiE. Once you do that, adhering to the idea of an in-show timeline become a significantly smaller concern.
Are there any greens about Kid Anon and Cheerilee?
>>25426368
Life wouldn't be worth living without it. How we ever managed before it was invented I'll never know.
>>25426383
>Be Kid Anon.
>You miss your parents.
>You miss your school.
>But mostly you miss not being chained to a basement wall by a talking horse.
crossposting from >>25422971
>>25424378
>"A Milkshake? Isn't that kind of, childish?"
"It's made with alcohol."
>"..."
"And brownies."
>"You're a good guy, you know that?"
>>25426397
>How we ever managed before it was invented I'll never know.
They lived because they knew that one day something will be invented that will make life worth living, either for themselves or their children
Now that this has finally happened, society will collapse as we have nothing to work toward
>>25426383
I want a green but about Cheerilee being Anon's adoptive mother.
>>25426383
There was one about Anon being a kid and butting heads with Cheerilee all the time in her class. I remember something about Applebloom liking him and Big Mac hating him for it. Can't remember who wrote it.
>wanted to write this evening
>too busy following france getting BTFO
Frogs pls.
>>25426951Fronce gon get even soon.
>>25427349I hope so
>"Doctor Anonymous?"
>You peek out from the carriage.
>A cream colored pony stands across the way, a serious expression on her face.
>"I'm CSA"
>Holding up your hand, you shake your head.
"Sorry, I've got a bad feeling about this. Can we start from the top?"
>The earth pony frowns a little.
>"Uh, you don't get to... um, make your own rules."
>Oh jeez, she's actually...
"Look, stop this right now or I'm not getting on that flying carriage with you."
>The mare looks conflicted for a moment, and then sighs.
>"Fine."
>With a nod, you climb out of the carriage and walk towards her.
>She pulls a metallic pen from one of those weird pony-space pockets.
>"Before we go any further, I'd like you to look in this light h-"
>You slap the pen away and scowl.
>As the mare gawks at you, you throw your hands up and storm off, howling at the sky.
"Getting real sick of these rehashed movie bits!"
>You hope Sunbutt heard that.
I finished the next installment of Changing Lanes this evening. Hopefully no one still wants to take my head off after the previous chapter.
https://youtu.be/nvWADo6KPzA
>The radio softly plays in the Superbird as you finish another tome, and set off into the next one, scribbling down some notes on an old piece of parchment.
>While hardly comfortable to sit in the car for any period of time, you don't care.
>For the first time in almost two days, you've managed to finally gain some semblance of control.
>Now you just feel tired.
>Numb.
>Empty.
>News has spread rapidly across Equestria, and the outpouring of condolences still continue.
>Despite this, you decided to hold a private ceremony for Anon's internment in the mausoleum, with only his closest friends.
>Twilight has taken it extremely hard as well.
>Now all that is left is work.
>"Sister?"
>Your eyes look up over the dashboard to see Celestia cautiously approach.
>She has hardly fared better in the days since..
>"Luna, are you okay?"
"I am... managing."
>Her face lined with fatigue, Tia still forces a weary smile.
>Despite the events, Celestia has tirelessy stood in the throne room, fufulling both her duties and yours.
>She insisted upon it.
>"I thought I would find you out here."
>You do your best to shuffle the books on the seat next to you away as your sister peers in.
"I just wanted to be somewhere.... close to Anon. I couldn't think of any closer place than his pride and joy."
>You try to sound calm, but the pain in your voice is all too obvious.
>"What are you doing out here?"
"Just... reading. Something to occupy my mind."
>As her magic reaches for one of the tomes, you have no choice but to face the inevitable as it floats out the window to her curious eyes.
>The book falls to the concrete floor.
>"Luna, I know you are taking this loss the hardest, and for good reason, but this... this is not the answer."
>You already find yourself becoming agitated.
"What is the answer, sister? What else can I do?"
>>25427546
(forgot pastebin: http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony)
>"Dark magic? Necromancy? These certainly are not it!"
"What else is there, Tia?"
>You feel yourself being pulled out of the car, as the door opens.
>Her magic surrounding you, you sister hugs you tight enough to cause a bit of discomfort.
>"We all hurt right now, Lulu. You more than anypony, I'm sure. But you can't let yourself be consumed by your grief, we all need you. I need you."
>You aren't sure how long the two of you hold each other there, saying nothing.
>"Lulu, we will make it through this. It's just going to take some time to heal."
"I know."
>While you agree with her, the words feel hollow, meaningless.
>Slowly, Celestia gathers up your pile of worn manuscripts with her magic.
>"Until that time comes, I will be sure to seal away what we have in our collection."
>She manages another weary smile, before walking out of the garage.
>When she is out of sight, you pull your notes out from underneath your wing, smiling.
"Okay, Tia."
>You make your way to Twilight's home in as discreet of a manner as possible.
>Words of condolences mean so little at this point, you don't want to hear them.
>Especially now that you have something that should work, if your research was correct.
>Covered from horn to hooves with a cloak, you rap on her door and wait.
>"Come in."
>Without hesitation, you you make your way inside the library, slamming the door behind you.
>"Can... can I help you?"
>You drop the hood on your robe and turn to face the apprehensive mare.
"My apologies, Twilight. It is difficult to travel considering what has happened."
>"Princess Luna, I didn't expect you..... how are you doing?"
"I am... better. It is still difficult."
>Twilight looks down at the floor, shuffling a hoof.
>"I know. I still can't believe it myself."
>You already begin to grow impatient with the small talk.
>Clearing your throat, you pull out your notes from earlier.
>>25427569
"Twilight, I know you are well-versed in many subjects, I was wondering if you could tell me where I may find some of these items."
>You hold up the parchment for her to read.
>Her lips move slightly as she reads off the various plants and items you have listed.
>You made sure to omit some of the things you need that seem..... out of place.
>"What.... what are all of these for? It looks like some sort of spell."
>Racking your brain, you try to come up with a believable excuse.
"It is, it's..... I'm not exactly sure what it is. You see, my sister and I have been going through some books regarding arcane magic, and this one, we couldn't quite translate."
>Her sorrowful face perks up a bit.
>"That sounds very interesting. Maybe I could help you."
"No! Er, no, sorry. This is all very advanced magic, Twilight Sparkle. However, I do appreciate your offer."
>The twinkle in her eyes diminishes somewhat, but she nods.
>"I understand. Unfortunately, I don't think you will be able to find some of those ingredients to complete the spell."
>Your heart sinks.
"What do you mean?"
>"Well, the meadowsweet plant does not exist any longer, as far as I know. And Tartarus root? If such a thing ever existed, I've never heard of it. And I've read all the books and notes my friend Zecora has to offer."
>You bite your lip to keep from screaming, taking a moment to reel yourself in from the edge of self-control.
"I see. A shame, but understandable. Thank you, Twilight Sparkle."
>Twilight frowns, looking concerned.
>"Are you sure you're alright, Luna? You can talk to me."
>Her eyes seem to cut into you, as if she can see something else underneath you are hiding.
>Fighting back tears of defeat, you turn away, opening the front door..
"I am fine, Twilight. I must head back to Canterlot."
>If she does sense something amiss, she lets it go.
>"It was good to see you, Luna. If you need something, just let me know."
>>25427581
>You close the door behind you, without a word.
>With all of your might, you throw yourself into the air, your anger and sorrow driving the rapid beat of your wings as you head home.
>As you reach the bottom of the staircase, your fatigue and disappointment only makes your pent up anger build.
>It seems there is no spell in the world to bring your Anon back.
>You would cry, but with the constant grieving of the past few days, you have nothing left.
>All that's left is anger.
>Finding the cell, you stop in front of it.
>Apparently hearing your footsteps, the changeling sits upright, already staring back at you, before shifting.
>"I was wondering when you were going to come back down here for me. Why the long wait?"
>You just glare at the creature, now in the form of you.
>"Did I break your toy? I hope he comes back soon, that was fun."
"My toy?"
>Your doppelganger rolls its eyes and sighs.
>"Sorry, your highness. By toy, I refer to your precious little ape friend you keep with you in the castle. You know, it makes it hard to capture him when you have him under lock and key."
"He's dead."
>The words just drop out of your mouth.
>It laughs in response.
>"Right, right. He's dead, so we can stop looking for him. Try a bit harder than that, princess.
>You just stare, imagining your vision being enough to tear this beast into bits.
>Whether it is your silence or your glare, the changeling stops, mulling over what you have said.
>"You really are serious. Well, I can't say I'm upset. Mother might be, but I guess that's what he gets for torturing me."
>Your grit your teeth as something within snaps.
"That's 'what he gets?' Pardon me, but I believe you vile creatures began this whole mess with your haphazard plan to feast upon us. Anon was my friend, he was my whole world!"
>Pure hatred pours out from every fiber in your body as tears stream down your cheeks, blurring your vision.
>>25427606
"I want you to send Chrysalis a message. She has ruined my world, now it's my turn to ruin hers."
>A nervous chuckle is the response from your prisoner.
>"Ruin her world? We already starve for food, banished away from society. There is nothing you can do to us. We have nothing to lose. Which just makes this news all the sweeter for me."
>You tremble as you feel yourself slipping into the abyss.
>And you don't care.
"Oh, but you do have something to lose. You have your entire species to lose."
>Confusion spreads across your twin's face.
>"Uh, run that by me again?"
"I will hunt every one of your kind down, across every corner of this land. And I promise you, I will make every one of you suffer."
>You feel yourself being consumed by your rage.
>Your hatred.
>Your sorrow.
>Nothing matters anymore.
>You feel your teeth rearrange themselves, as the room slowly seems to grow smaller.
"No amount of pain and suffering will bring my Anonymous back. But I will make sure every one of you regrets ever living."
>The look of confusion changes to horror on the changeling's face.
>"Night.. mare... Mo-"
>You seize the creature by the throat with your magic, slowly constricting as you watch its eyes frantically search the room for salvation.
"You think you know suffering? You think you have been tortured?! I assure you, you have not experienced either in your pathetic life. But you will now."
>Unable to speak, the creature moves its lips, silently apologizing.
>You just tighten your grip on its windpipe further, relishing the feeling of its struggle for mercy.
"Sorry? You're sorry? It doesn't matter. You are only sorry to protect yourself. Nothing more."
>"Please, don't do this."
>You snap your head around in the direction of the voice.
>Celestia stands a few feet away, her expression a mixture of fear and anguish.
"Why? Why should I stop?! Why does this... this THING, deserve to live?!"
>Her voice wavers at your tone.
>"This isn't you. You are better than this."
>>25427625
>The pressure cooker inside you bursts as you further tighten the vice.
"WHY DOES THIS THING DESERVE TO LIVE, OVER ANONYMOUS?"
>Choking down a sob, Celestia gives in, letting the tears stream down her face.
>"Because revenge isn't going to bring him back. Revenge will only deepen the void left behind."
>You turn back to the Luna in front of you.
>You look into its eyes.
>The light of life begins to dim, its struggle subsiding.
>"Don't do this Luna. Please."
>Celestia begs in between sniffles, her voice getting quieter.
>You can't bear to hear your sister's pleas.
"Please. Come back to me."
>You turn to her again, as her pink irises lock onto you.
>"I just want my little sis. My Luna."
>'My Luna.'
>Your memory flashes back to the night of your breakdown, Anon consoling you.
>'You're not a monster. You're my Luna, and my Luna's a sweetheart.'
>You're not a monster.
>Not now.
>The ache in your heart saps your strength.
>'My Luna's a sweetheart.'
>Clinging to those words, you relent.
>Your knees give out on you as you cry out in anguish, dropping the changeling.
>It takes a massive gulp of breath, as you let the dam inside you burst.
>The cold of the stone floor seems to suck the energy from you, taking your own breath away as you sob deeply.
>And yet, at the same time, you feel the warmth of your sister over top you, as she embraces your form.
>You raise your head, taking a moment for your damp eyes to adjust and focus.
>You jump a bit as you look up, finding not only your sister atop you, but Twilight Sparkle, as well.
>The purple alicorn is very nervous, and doesn't wait for you to say anything before unleashing.
>"I'm sorry Luna! After you left, all those items you had listed made sense, and I figured out what you were trying to do, and I just had to tell Celest-"
>You do your best to speak in a somewhat calm voice.
"It is fine, Twilight Sparkle. I am not upset, just.... I just feel empty. Lost."
>>25427641
>"You aren't alone, Luna. I know it feels that way, I know you feel a hole inside, but you can't let that consume you."
>Your big sis raises her head beside, pulling you tightly next to her with a wing.
>"Do not let the anguish of loss cause you to lose yourself. Equestria can not bear to lose you again. I can not bear to lose you again."
>Twilight pipes up as she stands in front of you.
>"I know it hurts, Luna. I hurt too. But the pain does not signify an end. You've come so far from when we first met on Nightmare Night. You've helped countless ponies with their dreams, you make the night sky beautiful. Just as much as Anonymous has affected you, you affect all of us."
>You take a deep breath, as you feel a weight drop off you.
"Thank you. I have felt alone these past few days. I almost let my anger and sorrow consume me, as I have once before. But you, you both refuse to give up on me, you saved me from myself. And for that, I am eternally grateful."
>"Anon would be proud of you, Lulu. You are stronger than you think you are."
>Darkness falls over Equestria, and with it comes another night of insomnia.
>Carefully, you creep past both Tia and Twilight, not wanting to wake them.
>Both of them decided it would be best to stay close to you for the next few days, after the events of earlier today.
>You can't blame them, and you appreciate and cherish having two ponies so dedicated to you, that care so much.
>It makes it easier knowing you aren't alone, even if it has felt that way.
>That mistake has been made once before, and nearly repeated again.
>And yet, even in his absence, Anonymous rescued you from yourself.
>The empty halls of the castle are silent, as all but a skeleton crew of guards are resting like everypony else.
>Even so, you focus on your destination in your mind, the castle fading away, to replaced by the garden.
>Your sister is likely worried enough about you to have the guards notify her if you are seen up and about tonight.
>>25427656
>The heavy door in front of you takes some exertion to move, as you slide inside the stone structure.
>Closing it behind you and turning around, you look over at the wall.
>Engraved with the names of past family members and close friends throughout the many years of you and your sister's existence, the freshest chiseling stands out the clearest in the dim light.
>Standing in front of the marked resting place, you try to arrange your thoughts.
"In my many years of existence, I have had the pleasure of meeting countless ponies and other beings. All across this land I have traveled, and there are many more acquaintances and friends I will make in the coming years, no doubt."
>You sit, feeling once again overwhelmed by emotion.
"And yet, only one has so drastically affected me so, has helped me find myself. Helped me move on from my past, and look to the future. To find every day of my existence something to enjoy, rather than a burden. To help me see that even in your absence, I am not alone. For that, I thank you."
>You exhale, letting go of everything you have pent up inside.
"I miss you, Anon."
>You touch a hoof to the internment stone.
>Involuntarily, you jerk it back, a searing hot pain cutting into you.
>The marker itself feels as if it is molten, as you gingerly drop your leg and stand in shock.
"What in Equestria?"
>Curiousity and fear mix with adrenaline as you use your magic and pry at the stone.
>As it relinquishes its spot, intense blue flames erupt from the void, causing you to duck and drop the marker.
>Falling to the ground, it shatters, as you feel the intense heat above you, nearly singeing your back.
>You find yourself pinned there, unable to move, not even to look up.
>Slowly, the heat dies down, allowing you to look up.
>The flames are gone, light wisps of smoke coming from the chamber above you.
>Apprehensive, you rise to your hooves slowly, minding your burned hoof.
>>25427663
>As you peer inside the internment chamber, arms reach out for you, causing you to jump back.
>"Luna, this isn't funny! I've told you before I'm claustrophobic!"
"Wh-What?!"
>"Sister!"
>The steel door to the mausoleum opens, Celestia and Twilight rushing in.
>"Luna, what is-"
>"Someone get me the fuck out of here, I can't breathe!"
>Without another thought, you focus your magic on the outstretched arms, pulling.
>Anonymous falls out onto the floor, breathing rapidly and looking around incredulously.
>You stand dumbfounded, as your sister and Twilight stand stunned with you.
"Anon?"
>"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"
"So I was dead. As in... what?"
>"Clinically dead. No pulse, not breathing, deceased."
>Luna still hasn't let go of you since getting back into the castle.
>Continuing to run your hands through her mane, you try to make sense of the story the three princesses are telling you.
"Are you sure you checked correctly?"
>"Let me ask you, Anonymous, what do you remember?"
>Scratching your head, you try to think of anything from what is apparently the last two and a half days.
"I remember going down into the dungeon with Lulu and Twily, but I don't remember anything that happened down there. Next thing I know, Luna's staring back at me from some hole I'm crammed into."
>"Internment chamber, Anon."
>You stare at the purple alicorn.
"My bad. 'Internment chamber,' I mean. All I know is, that is one of the most terrifying experiences I have ever had."
>Luna sits up in your lap.
>"You try getting burned by a grave stone, then have a wall of flame rush out at you at breakneck speed and tell me which is more terrifying."
"Claustrophobia will win every time, Moonbutt."
>"You don't remember that, either?"
>Luna gazes into your eyes, curious.
"I told you, I just remember seeing your face pop up in front of me."
>Luna turns to her sister as she sits back down in your lap.
>>25427677
>"What do you make of it, Tia? Surely you do not think I have dabbled in the dark arts, do you?"
>The white mare rubs a hoof to her chin, thinking hard.
>"The only thing I can think of that makes sense is the phoenix."
>Everyone in the room just stares, not following Celly's thought process.
"You want to run that by me in layman's terms?"
>"Anon, Luna, when the two of you swapped consciousness a few years ago, Nightmare Moon when back with you, correct?"
>Luna nods silently, as you do the same.
"Unfortunately, yes."
>"With her went not only that part of Luna, but also some of her magic. I don't think it is too much of a stretch to consider with some of that magic contained within you, our gift of the phoenix, of rebirth, is with you as well."
>Holy shit.
>"So, you think he is like us now, sister?"
>Celestia nods.
>"It is the only thing that makes sense to me, though the length of time between death and resurrection is rather odd. So too, the rather..... violent nature of the flames of rebirth."
>"I don't care, I just know I have my Anon back."
"So by the sounds of it, I can't get away from you, can I?"
>Luna looks up at you, her eyes still damp from earlier.
>"Just shut up and hold me."
>You oblige Moonbutt as you pull her in tight.
http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony
>>25427349
If by "get even", you mean surrender, then yes
Don't worry, Trump will build the wall for you
>>25427858
Whoopsies!
You're in the wrong containment board little buddy!
Hello thread how have you guys been doing? Prepare yourselves for NO MORE HORSES!
Pastebin here: http://pastebin.com/F3MkxYk5
>"I thought you said you never wanted to revisit Canterlot," Twilight says, munching on some greens.
>You squint at her from behind your garlic bread, cooking up something good to say.
"Hmph, this place is so great, how come you never mentioned it?"
>Averting your eyes, you stuff your face with a handful of broccoli.
>”Come now, there is no way to avoid it now, Anonymous,” Twilight asks pressingly.
>Oh no, she’s doing the grumpy face.
>Her weird horse face scrunches and stuff, and she tilts her head to the north.
>No really, wherever the north may be, her head tilts toward it, her horn is like a little compass.
“I uh, you know.”
>Her face wrinkles into a fierce scowl.
“I wanted to visit Canterlot, your old home! Bonding experiences and all that,” you say, avoiding eye contact still, swinging broccoli.
>“You said you hated it here!”
“Well, don’t you want to see your favorite alicorn and god-queen Princess Celestia?”
>She is taken aback for a moment, maybe surprised at mention of Celestia, “yes of course, w-why wouldn’t I?”
“I dunno maybe you’re too attached to me and are forgetting your mentor,” you twiddle your fingers for emphasis.
>She grumbles her grievances, but dinner continues all the same.
>Conversation is sparse, as you have to spend all your brain power on choking down bland-ass fucking veggies, yo.
>Seriously, you’ve got a series of health problems due to lack of certain vitamins and nutrients best available in meats.
>The pair of you stagger to your hotel room and not too long after retire for the night.
>The hotel is just a good ol’ moonlight stroll from the royal palace.
>He he he. . . You mean, ha! what a coincidence, yes.
>The hotel is posh as all hell, cushy pillows, nice featherbed.
>Horrible sneezing and itchy skin from the aforementioned featherbed.
1/21
>>25428933
>Horrible sneezing and itchy skin from the aforementioned featherbed.
>You were surprised to find Celestia had paid for all your travel expenses, she must be excited to see her old protege.
>Or maybe she is expecting you? No, no way, you think, squinting at the ceiling in the middle of the night while laying next to your mare-friend who’s just a friend Twilight who you are sharing a bed with you’re just friends though.
>You take a deep sigh, and Twilight shifts next to you, drooling into your elbow as she is wont to do. You’ve taken steps to ensure she won’t wake though.
>The total classic, cosby mix, slipped into her drink. It was quite easy really, for being such a smart cookie she is really distracted by “LOOK OVER THERE”.
>Flying down the stairs and out the lobby door you find yourself on the empty streets of Canterlot. No moon is out, so the dark is night and the night is dark.
>The official statement is that Luna is on vacation in the Griffon kingdom of Griffistan (or something).
>We both know that isn’t the case, she is in face somewhere in the dungeons.
>And you put her there, with this very suit you’re wearing.
>Speaking of which, this suit has been giving you problems lately.
>Fluttershy’s spirit seems broken somehow, and despite her efforts, there’s nothing Twilight or you can do to fix it.
>And you’ve tried every kind of fluid you could think off!
>Honest to god, you have tried some nasty fucking stuff on this thing.
>Twilight had suggested that strong emotions could trigger a reaction, but you haven’t tested that. >You aren’t particularly worried, there still is 5 other great forms.
>Actually AJ’s is garbage, don’t tell her though.
>To be fair, knowing what you do about Fluttershy, how could she possibly be of any use?
2/21
>>25428950
>The streets are empty and quiet.
>The cold wind flutters your blood red tie over your neck, feels cold but cool as fuck.
>Did you catch that pun?
>It’s strange, seeing everything so empty and so clean.
>Normally you would have police, or wandering vagrants milling about.
>But here in pony land, everyone is so nice there is no need for police or violence.
>:).
>Damn, you miss home.
>The constant fighting, the overcrowded streets, and who could forget the serious pollution from all those factories.
>Home, sweet *COUGH* *COUGH* home.
>It’s horrible, but it’s yours.
>Or was.
>Fucking Luna.
>One winding, steep stone path later and you’re at the west entrance of the royal palace.
>You spot with your hawk like vision, a pair of lazy looking guards twiddling their hooves in front of the gate.
>You stop for a second, watching the two of them stare down at their hooves in bored contemplation.
>They just sit there rubbing and bumping them together.
>What the fuck.
>Well, Twilight’s info seems to be right.
>This is the least protected side, from what you can tell. “But how to get closer to them?” you ponder while looking around the area from the shadows.
>What’s this here then?
>A cardboard box lying against wall just out of the guard’s cone of vision.
>You dive for that shit, and snake under it.
>You center it on top of yourself, and punch yourself a hole in the front.
>Perfect.
>With your right and left hand you give out a good bird call to get the guards attention.
3/21
>>25428964
>“You hear that?” the one on the left pips up.
>“No, what was it?” the other replies, sounding half asleep.
>“That was the blue-breasted tit. It’s one of the rarest birds! It only comes out at night, when under the influence of fermented fruits.”
>“Why do you know so much about birds?” the second asks sharply in a judgmental tone.
>“HUSH!” the first says, “help me find it.”
>You hear them jingle about, looking for that rare and elusive tit.
>Ha, idiots!
>“When the bird watching clubs hears about this they’ll get cutie marks in envy.”
>You can hear his partner roll his eyes (god how horrifying) as you shuffle between them and go through the gate.
>It’s tall and black, with a single door the size of a moderately tall pony.
>Seems odd that they’d have a gate the princesses wouldn’t be able to fit through.
>Oh, wait, they can fly.
>S rank all the way, baby.
>No C4 needed, that wouldn’t be stealth.
>What kinda shitdick retard thinks using C4 as a distraction is true stealth.
>Bird calls is true stealth, my friend.
>You toss off the box and charge right into the palace grounds.
>This section is a garden, how lovely.
>Good thing the pitch black night allows optimal viewing conditions for these shitty ass plants.
>Oh hey a fountain.
>“Oh, hi Anon,” a cheery cotton candy voice pipes up from the silence.
4/21
>>25428981
>Princess Cadance’s intro, recorded by Flutterpriest, thanks Flutterpriest: https://u.pomf.io/bvzxjn.mp3
>Theme of Princess Cadance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JhRCWUtUV4 (JJBA: ASB - LISA LISA ~ Lisa Lisa ~ Extended)
>You jump up in fear and scream a small string of swears.
>With a flick of the head you find the source, an alicorn with a pink coat, shadowed by the night.
>She flaps her wings aggressively at you, and mocks you with a smile.
“Cadence? Cadance? DanceDance?” you call in question, assuming your boxing stance.
>“Yes, it’s me, but what are you doing here?”
“Excuse me princess, I have a meeting with, uh, the other princess. But tell me, why are you here?”
>“Bird watching. I thought I heard a rare bird down this way.”
>Why do so many ponies like bird watching?
>Cadance begins pacing back and forth near the fountain.
>With a quick look you see the door to the palace not far off, a small set of stairs leading to the ornate passageway.
>“A moonlit meeting? That doesn’t sound right, my unfurred friend.”
“I’m not a furry.”
>“Why would you be snooping around the palace, this late at night, through some back entrance. Especially when you most recently gave the moon a black eye.”
>You hold up your hand and point up, ready to give a retort, but none comes.
>“Bird got your tongue?” she says slyly.
“The time for talk is over. I won’t let you stand in my way. Princess Celestia may or may not even know about something that I need. Or even have the power to perform even if she does know that thing.”
>“What?”
5/21
>>25428990
>You throw your first punch with a lunge, springing forward on one foot.
>The wind rustles past your ears as you soar towards her.
>Cadance is an alicorn however, and her movements are deft and graceful!
>She leaps easily out of the way, onto the fountain and then at you with the intent to deliver a fierce, horseshoe kick.
>Reflexes of olympian proportion activate allowing you to adjust your position to block and divert her attack, her golden horseshoe knocking hard against your raised forearms.
>She lands softly to the left of you, smiling cheerfully.
>Lovely how quick everyone is ready to settle things with violence here.
>“Okay, are you ready to calm down and talk about it?” she asks.
“Yeah this is silly, why are we fighting? This feels really forced actually, like someone is just throwing us together for a cheap action scene!” you reply, waving your hands about.
>“Hmm, maybe we can make some love instead of some war?” she rears her rear around and wiggles it a little.
>You feel your muscles tense up in excitement, and you lean forward a few degrees, eyes on that prime piece of candied butt.
>Cadence used Attract!
“Aren’t you married? Also I’m REALLY REALLY good friends with a girl already, I don’t need two.”
>The princess only winks in response, rising up on her hind legs and blowing a kiss.
>Against his better judgement, Anonymous is infatuated.
>Infatuated with that fat ass.
>You feel your muscles move on their own, tugging your whole body a step closer to her.
>What is going on here!?
>This isn’t right at all, how are your hips moving on their own?
>Cadance giggles and does a little dance on her hind legs before going down to her natural stance on all fours, “works every time!”
>Your mouth opens for a snarky remark, but your jaw shuts itself painfully. It feels like it’s wired shut!
6/21
>>25429002
>“Hush now, we have to go see the princess."
>You are looking at a princess right now though, who else could she mean?
>Oh yeah, Celestia!
>Sweat accumulates on your brow like the condensation on a nice cold lemonade glass.
>What if they imprison you for breaking and entering the palace grounds!
>This was an awful idea, Anonymous.
>You probably could have just asked her and she would have helped you.
>It’s too late now!
>You’ve been stupid and chose the path of black and blue eyes and hurt feelings.
>And this is what you’ll be getting, a scalding from the Sun herself!
>You stomp, very much against your will, toward that ornate door past the fountain, Cadance giggling to herself as she leads you forward.
>True fear grips your heart like a corpse’s hand. Rigor Mortis, yo.
>The fear sweats leak into your dress shirt, staining your pit area under the jacket.
>Hold on!
>You’re feeling a tingling, and the familiar tightness of a transformation!
>There is a flash of blinding light, some odd sounds of slapping and pulling, and the rough grind of fabric against clothing.
>Then all is back to normal, aside from your clothes of course.
>Did you accidentally switch into your Pinkie form because of the sweat?
>“What the hell are you wearing?” Cadance asks, blinking her eyes a few times to adjust them.
“Don’t know retard, I can’t move my eyes down to check, I’m frozen remember.”
>“Oh right,” she replies, craning your neck down so you can get a look.
“Easy, that hurts.”
>What the hell are you wearing?
>A terribly long yellow sweater, a ribbed turtleneck for your pleasure.
>The stupid thing is all way down to your feet, with sleeves like a car dealership’s airdancer.
>It’s a full-body sweater.
>This is quite possibly the worst of all your suits!
>It’s horribly unfashionable, what would Rarity say about this?
>And it’s only making your pit sweat worse.
>“That’s probably gonna stain! Meep,” a cooing voice calls.
7/21
>>25428933
HERE WE GO
>No More Horses
Obligatory Theme:
https://youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ
>>25429017
>“Who said that?” Cadance asks, stopping cold.
>She peers at you, “no tricks Anonymous, come along, we have to settle this with Auntie Celestia.”
>Holy fuck, you think fearfully.
>That’s the most pious “fuck” you’ve even thought.
>“Oh no, this is terrible! How will we get out of this, Anonymous?” Fluttersuit asks, her voice faltering.
>Oh god, I’ve got myself ensnared in Cadance’s booty magic and now my only hope is fucking Fluttershy.
>Amazing.
>It’s shit already.
>If your faulty mind is correct, the magic she gave Fluttershy’s form was so bad it wasn’t even worth mentioning.
>Thanks Twilight, thanks for nothing.
>“W-what do you mean f-ing Fluttershy? I-I’m not a shit,” your suit says.
>THIS IS AWFUL.
>“Don’t leave me out of this conversation, Anonymous, why are your clothes talking?” Cadance questions, looking you up and down.
>At least she’s stopped because she’s curious. Maybe the magic will wear off if you distract her!
>“Hold on, I’ll get us out o-of this! I’ll show you I’m worth something!” Fluttershy says defiantly, she quickly follows up her claims with some light humming and chirping.
“Oh yes, singing will save us,” you retort.
>She carries on, voice wavering for a moment.
>Sounded almost like she was about to cry.
>The bushes rustle around you, and the cawing of a raven can be heard carried by the wind.
>Cadance flicks her head to and fro, looking around for some hidden enemy.
>What is happening?
>An owl lands on the fountains peak, doing a 360 with its head before fluttering off, hooting at Cadance angrily.
“Please, tell me animals aren’t your power.”
>Fluttersuit just meeps, and you feel your sweater quiver.
>You stare with panic at Cadance, unable to move.
>A black raven, almost unseeable in the night, swoops down and drives its pecker right into Cadance’s flank.
8/21
>>25429025
>Then, you feel your arms and torso dip toward her.
>You’re moving!
>But you’re not?
>Maybe Cadance fucked up and accidentally put you forward?
>“Anon, can you move now?”
“S-shut the fuck up she’s right there, idiot,” you reply hastily.
>Cadance continues batting at the bird stuck in her ass before finally getting angry and using her magic to pull it out.
>You instantly fall on your face into the dirt.
>Shivering muscles and coughing as your throat relaxes follow your fall.
>Was she keeping your heart and lungs working?
>Scary shit, my man.
>You bring yourself to kneel, trying to recover while you have a moment.
“Okay, how do I use you Fluttersuit?”
>“Uhm,” she peeps up.
“Speak quickly,” you say panicked, watching idly as Cadance recovers from her scuffle.
>“HAHAH! You’ve spent your one trick, Anonymous. And I’ve spent mine. I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way, huh?”
“Yeah okay, ” you reply blankly
>“SUPER DOUBLE ALICORN TRANSFORMATION GO!!!”
>With a loud “waaaah” Cadance twirls into the air, the sky is illuminated with various shades of pink and red, radiating like a rainbow from her horn, supported by her wings.
>From her chest something bursts, a white and red. . . uniform?
>A tie, a button up shirt, ending in a skirt that covers her flank (and just barely).
>Plaid skirt, work shirt, sassy look?
>She’s in a school-girl get up! You clap whilst turning around slowly to get a full 360 of the light show.
>Very impressive.
9/21
>>25429041
“Alright, you candy-ass, let’s throw down,” you roll up your giant sleeves like Pop-eye, and sidle on up to her, ready to deliver an uppercut.
>You give her the swing like Mike Tyson, no pigeons though.
>And it connects with her jaw and she goes flying!
>Okay Ryu, ease up.
>“HAHAHA!” you hear Cadance cackling.
>The Cadance you just fucked up disappears into a puff of sparkles!
“It was only an afterimage, I’m actually behind you,” she calls, prompting you to spin around.
>PEWPEW.
>Two hot zaps sear your back, nearly burning holes in your sweater.
>“Oh~!” Buttershutter coos remorsefully.
>Charging up to Cadance is your first thought, you clear the gap in about 3 strides, and go for the grapple.
>You clamber forward, missing her entirely, and the pink fucker dances away, fluttering her wings as she gains altitude.
>Human legs were not built for jumps more than a foot, at least yours weren’t.
>Not even a crouch jump can get you close to Cadance’s laughing, flying visage.
>She gallops in the air mockingly, “try me now, little man.”
“Dude I’m like twice your size,” you say, unimpressed.
>“Then how come you can’t grab me?”
>She’s got you there.
10/21
>>25429052
>And she’s about to get you with that pink sawed-off shotty!
>Quick, cartwheel dodge.
>Also where did that come fromt?
>BAM!
>The hunk of metal and wood goes off, and a bouquet of roses smashes into the grass where you were a second ago.
“Ha! Harmless,” you comment, dusting off a bit.
>With a second look you notice the roses latch themselves into the dirt, and then with thick vines begin wiggling about and trashing.
>Too far to reach you, but you don’t need to feel it to know those thorns would hurt.
>“Ugh, my rosebuds didn’t work!” Cadance gives a depressed twirl in the air, and a shower of sparkles and bright light rains down from her.
>Alicorns are fucking awful.
>You take a pause and catch her attention with some snapping of your thumb.
“Hey look at my eyes,” you shout.
>She does, and you hit her with the perfect eye roll, some real teenage emo phase shit.
>That’ll show mom!
>She’ll learn not to knock when you’re on Suicide Girls.
>“LET MY PASSIONATE LOVE PENETRATE YOU,” Cadance screams, dipping her head down at you, releasing a thick beam of loving red and white.
>The hot, coursing fluid cuts a line in the grass, cracks the fountain in two, and nearly does the same to you.
“Banana slug, give me something to work with.”
>The nervousness in your voice is obvious, you’re gonna get carved to bits down here.
>You feel your sweater wiggle a little bit, and then, out from the darkness, a big eagle.
>Maybe he can carry you to Celestia’s room and we can get this over with?
>Oh better yet, yes go ahead and knock Cadance out of the sky!
>With stylish dashing you move just under her, giving a jumping punch straight to her stomach as she decedents.
>You hear all the air get knocked out of her body, and she tumbles off your fist to the grass with a thump.
“That probably should have broken my wrist,” you comment, picking her fat ass off the dirt.
11/21
>>25429062
>You give her a good spin before tossing the alicorn into the nearby wall.
>And, accidentally, through it.
>The bricks fall in around her, a puff of dust escaping with them.
>What the hell are those guards doing?
>Have they gone off somewhere?
>They probably heard that.
>Better get inside.
>As you walk over to Cadance you notice your sleeves fall back to normal all on there own.
“S-sorry, that really hurts when you scrunch them up, Anon,” Bananarama says in a wavering voice.
>(Bananarama is an all female pop music vocal group formed in 1979 by a bunch of friends in London.)
“Well this is really not good, I mean how am I supposed to punch with these long sleeves flopping around?”
>“Look Anon, she’s getting back up,” Sputtersweat spouts.
>Your eyes flick to the prone alicorn, holding her aching head.
>A bump the size of a prize pumpkin right on her forehead.
>She groans in pain, swaying a bit as she stands.
>“Anon she’s really hurt, we should help her.”
“Yeah, help her into a coma!”
>A running right hook does her in for the night.
>Her body goes limp and she slouches into a pile of bricks like a sack of potatoes.
>Stepping over her large rump, you continue down the hall and into the palace like a stealth master.
>How will they know you’ve entered if the door is still closed and locked?
>The castle is cozy looking with carpeted halls, warm flickering torches, and the occasional chandelier.
>It’s getting a little hot in this sweater.
>And what time is it?
>Hopefully Celestia isn’t up yet.
>You’d like to catch her unawares.
12/21
>>25429072
>Any other moron would be lost in these halls, but you recall your first visit here spectacularly after how many times they wanted to coddle and parade you around, the freaky alien man.
>The Princess of Light’s room is quite stunning.
>The ceiling is at least twenty feet up, supported by grecian-like pillars and slotted between those thick blue curtains that are likely obscuring the multi-paned windows.
>The walls are lined with rows of well kept bookcases, desks littered with scrolls and inkwells.
>A lavish bed rest in the middle, round with a canopy.
>It’s headboard faces the windows, giving Celestia a view of the door when she wakes up.
>That’s where she is now, snoozing, draped in a neat-o yellow quilt.
>“Shabloo-bloo,” she snores, echoing through the room.
>You feel like a right bandit, sneaking in like this.
>With one hand you close the door behind you, after being assured with the low click you continue on.
>We’re in the belly of the beast now.
>“I hope Celestia doesn’t notice us!” Fluttershy whispers.
>With your eagle vision you catch the light seeping in from underneath the door flashing in Celestia’s now open eye.
>In a swift motion the quilt is tossed up in the air and she disappears behind it.
>“Where did she go!” your suit asks.
>The thick curtains are tossed asunder as well, falling with swooshes to the tiled flooring.
>The quilt flies toward you, but you dodge to the left of it and catch Celestia stretching a few paces next to her bed.
13/21
>>25429084
Intro for Princess Celestia, recorded by Pogo, love you Pogo: https://u.pomf.io/villdh.mp3
Theme of Princess Celesita: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLvgvsI5jAg (MGR OST: Mistral’s theme, A stranger I remain)
>“Anonymous, I wasn’t expecting you,” she says with a yawn.
>She turns her back to you, her horn begins to glow, and the sky in the now revealed windows begins to lighten.
>Amazing, she’s raising the sun!
>Time to avert your fucking eyes.
>You shield yourself from experiencing the panting, sweaty, un-sexual waggling that takes place when she raises the sun.
>Going through that twice is not on your bucket list.
>Wait, this would be a perfect time to catch her unawares.
>Your ear detects grunting and the dripping of sweat on tile just a few meters from you.
>If you can catch her now, you might be able to wrestle her into submission until she sends you home.
>Within a fraction of a second you mind formulates the plan.
>You roll up your sleeves, you will make the sun humble.
>You sell out Madison Square Garden, and you will again.
>No Jabroni will stand between you and home.
>BAM, BAM, BAM, you feel like a titan striding across Celestia’s tiled room.
>Falling into a knee slide you open your arms and catch her hindlegs.
>Her ass right in your face you do not care, this is where you belong.
>You rear up, the weight of Celestia’s fat fucking butt nearly snapping your back.
>“W-WHOA,” she cries out, being flipped around and tossed to the side by the superiority of fucking pure human muscle.
>She collapses with a mighty THUMP and the goddamn palace shudders, dust coming from the now cracked ceiling.
>With a healthy roar you stand and position yourself for the Anon clutch.
>Yes, yes this will keep her in line!
14/21
>>25429096
>“The physique on you right now Anonymous, astounding,” the sweater says to you.
>A few months ago that would’ve shocked you.
>With your lumber sized arm you wrap around Celestia’s midsection as she mewls and kicks at the air weakly.
>You squeeze upward.
>Yes, yes, pretend you’re saving her from choking on a dick.
>. . .
>Ow.
>Whoa, what the fuck.
>You suddenly feel the impact of smashing into a wall.
>Shaking your head, you find yourself slumped down on the floor.
>Hazily looking up you confirm the giant dent in the wall, right next to one of the windows.
>The pain in your back is more than you can bare!
>You can hardly move.
>With a forcefully turn of the head you see the sun peaking over from a window, it’s half raised in the sky, looking lazy underneath a blanket of purple and blue haze.
>Celestia begins laughing, trotting toward you.
>What happened?
>You had her pinned, it was over.
>She was out for the count!
>“Let me guess why you’re here,” she says in her comforting, motherly voice, “you want to go home now? You have had enough of Equestria?”
>Now, in your head you’re saying “meh” but for some reason your mouth isn’t making it happen.
>“A-Anon,” your clothes groan.
>She doesn’t sound good.
>Fluttershy never seemed like the toughest of the bunch, how will her clothing spirit hold up against the beatings it’s getting?
>“Are you done yet, Anon?” she asks cheerfully, “I can put some tea on the kettle and we can talk this over.”
“Send me home,” you reply, standing, brushing off pits of plaster and stone.
>“We both know I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
>“I can’t say.”
>You go red in the face, and you sense Fluttersuit trying to say something, but she keeps quiet.
>No way in hell you’re staying here forever.
15/21
>>25429110
>She has the power to send you home, no fucking doubt.
“You’re lying through your horsey fucking teeth, I can tell. I’m an expert liar,” you declare with a smile and a proud thumb pointed at your chest.
>See, you lied just then.
>You square up, nigga, and get a running start at her.
>. . .
>A heap of small cake plates shatter against your body with a hard impact, and you’re tossed hard against the mahogany of her bed frame.
>W-what happened?
>Did she catch you in a throw and toss you to the bed?
>Then where did the plates come from?
>The pain of a dozen or so slight lacerations becomes apparent, you can feel blood soaking into your clothes.
>With a panting, breathless sigh of anguish you realize you’re in no condition to fight.
>Fluttershy is your only backup, but you’re indoors so there’s no space for animals.
>What a shitty power.
>You’d kill for a sword, or a candy cane, or a fucking whip at this point.
>How can you take her out with just your bare knuckles?
“Fluttershy, come on, have you got anything else for me?” you say, voice groggy.
>Rising to your feet is a feat on its own, and you sway side to side, hardly keeping your balance.
>“Give it up, Anonymous, you can’t win. Let’s just talk this out,” Celestia calls from her position by the wall.
>She’s about 4 or 5 strides away, that is if your legs can even carry you there.
>!!!
>Your eyeballs flick to her, casting the most defiant look you can muster, “no amount of talking will make me want to stay here! I want to see my old home.”
16/21
>>25429115
>…
—Celestia’s PoV—
>Hot damn you are going to need some cake after this.
>Burning too many calories beating up this stud.
>You flick your celestial mane back with a snap of the neck.
>You’ve got all the time in the world here, having activated your secret ZA SUNZO power.
>Stopping time in exchange for having to raise the sun every morning?
>Easy choice.
>It’s a real shame you have to ruin Anon’s face.
>I mean look at that cute little mask, you could just smother him with your big horsey bottom.
>Instead you’ve gotta beat him up and send him back to Twilight.
>Good thing you never told her about the mirror, or else she would have spilled the beans on that thing long ago!
>It’s not Anonymous’ home by a long shot, but if he is truly as desperate as he is coming off, he would use it in a heartbeat.
>You saunter up to him, fluttering your eyes.
>With the slight turn of the head you give him a sultry look, right into his own anger filled eyes.
>Aw, it’s like seeing a kid acting up.
>Well, time to send him flying~!
>Oh.
>Why can’t you move your legs?
>Did he stop time in your time?
>What exactly is he capable of?
>Damn, times up.
>…
—Anonymous’ PoV—
>Ah!
>What the hell, now she’s about twenty feet closer than she just was.
>Ew, why is she just giving you that odd snarl face?
>“Oh, it worked! We gave her THE STARE,” Stuttercloth says with a determined, but tired voice.
“The stare? The hell is that?”
>“It’s my secret special talent. I can cast dominate creature at will, with my eyes alone.”
“Gee-wiz that’s amazing,” you reply, tossing a fist at Celestia’s frozen jaw.
>Her face contorts into confusion and anger.
>She’s hanging there, frozen a half an inch off the the ground, tilted to the side from the force of the punch.
>Now a left, and she’s sent into the tiles with a boom.
17/21
>>25429127
>The sound echoes throughout the bedroom, the drapes flutter with the force of the impact.
>That felt pretty not bad.
>She tries getting up and you see her body shudder with effort.
>You’ve really got her now.
>That special trick must have really shaken her spirit.
>“How did you stop time like that?” the princess of all ponyland questions.
“How hard did you hit your head?”
>Limping over, you feel a soaring in your chest.
>Anticipation, expectation for an end to all this, finally.
>And look how easily it has gone.
>She beat you pretty good, but you got her back twice as bad.
>Nothing can keep Anonymous down, you’ve found your way!
>You stand over her, flexing your muscles a little bit.
>Bathe in this victory goo; sweaty, bloody victory.
>“Why did you have to resort to violence?” Sunhorse questions, laying on the ground still.
>She opens her wings and envelopes you in them, pulling you closer with weak nudges.
>Oh, this is nice.
>Warm, and cozy, being tickled by these feathers.
>“Why couldn’t we just have a chat, share some tea? I’m so sorry I can’t send you home, Anonymous. I thought maybe you could leave a peaceful, love-filled life here in Equestria instead.”
“Huh.”
>It may be your battered brains, but you think you’re having a thought. . .
>Why did you have to open with fisticuffs?
>Is it just your nature?
>No.
>Maybe.
>Whoa, this is some real existential shit she is throwing down.
>Maybe it’s human nature to cause violence?
>Maybe peace and friendship really is the answer!
>Perhaps your whole time here was meant to be a purgatory.
>Did it all lead up to this epiphany?
>Yes!
>YES!
>Challenging Celestia was the wrong option, embracing her friendship was the real answer!
18/21
>>25429138
>C—R—A—S—H!!!
>You stumble back and fall flat on your ass.
>With a burst of ear shattering sound the walls of the palace crumble.
>Chunks of stone and shards of glass go flying.
>Bracing for impact, you expect a heavy amount of damage.
>None comes.
>When you open your eyes you’re holding a very much battered Celestia in your arms.
>Oh dear, one of her wings are broken, must have been from one of the stones.
>With some constriction and whipping you feel your suit return to its original form, albeit beat to hell and torn up.
“W-who did this?”
Mega Force intro theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4VNZdsjveE (Undertale OST: Song that might play when fight Sans)
>The mega forces that caused this disaster are now floating in, carried by dark magic.
>A radical group of bizarre creatures saunters in.
>A dastardly looking green and red-eyed unicorn leads the charge, carrying the other 4 freaks in matching uniform with him on a platform of ghostly green magic.
>Gracious and glorious sunbeams herald their arrival, seeping in behind them like a play’s backdrop.
>“BRACE YOURSELVES FOR THE ULTRA WICKED, AND SUPER STYLISH, M-M-M-MEGA FORCES OF DARKNESS~” one of them shouts, as they freeze in place a strike a variety of poses.
>All four of them are clad in skintight purple, gold and black costumes.
>And all of them look uncomfortable as hell in them, aside from the odd purple one naturally.
>You’re speechless, holding a passed out Celestia in your hand and being subjected to this freakshow.
>The unicorn leads again, getting up on his hindlegs and kicking the air with his forelegs.
19/21
>>25429149
>He growls before dropping his one-liner, “mi nombre es Sombra. Por favor, sácame de este traje.”
>A cringe-inducing tentacle haired mare, tall and lanky to boot pops up to take the stage next, she does a sassy flick with her head and wiggles her weird hentai mane, “I’m Mane-iac, and I’ll turn your world crazy~”
>A hole-legged black, chitinous bug horse hybrid slowly walks to her spot.
>It’s like she has practiced this.
>“Hello, I am the Queen of the changelings, Chrysalis. Bow before me, tiny ponies,” she says in a dry, flat tone.
>In an amazing display of dexterity and magical aptitude the dragon, goat demon bat flies underneath Chrysalis and shrinks himself to fit into one of her leg holes.
>“Oh, how wonderful it is to be back at the palace, did you miss your old friend Discord, Equestria?” he announces.
>They all hold pose, aligned awkwardly together for a moment.
>“Wait, d-did you beat her up all by yourself?” Mane-iac says, stunned.
>Discord twirls into himself as he slithers toward you, “I think he did.”
“I—” you slump down to your knees, Celestia with you.
>“Well, get her already,” Chrysalis pipes up, stepping forward.
>Before you can even react, green swirling magic plucks the princess from your arms.
>“I think we have our replacement, friends,” Mane-iac comments while sauntering toward you, one of her green tentacools sliming your cheek.
>She reaches into her back pocket and places a shampoo bottle into your lap, leaving a kiss on your goo’d face.
>Sombra flicks a business car at your leg, and it digs into the tile, standing straight and resolute.
>“See you around, Anonymous,” Discord says as he and his mega force buddies lift off out the giant hole in the wall.
20/21
>>25429154
>You really can’t go home?
>All this for nothing?
>You curl into a ball, dragging the dust and bits of stone around you like a bed.
Outro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xzDhLvhgQw (Bill Withers - Ain’t no sunshine, High Quality slideshow on this one.)
End of Episode 1, Season 2, No More Horses.
Will Anonymous ever recover?
What will become of the Princess?
How will Twilight react to her mentor being blown the fuck out?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON NO MORE HORSES!
21/21
Well. That's all folks. I hope it was entertaining. I certainly had fun writing it.
Yo shout out to my niggas: 8th-Sin, who helped edit and Flutterpogo for doing their recordings.
>>25429181
I didn't care for it. Too randumb for me.
>>25429181
So, so many questions.
>>25429693
I'm pretty sure its a sequel to this
http://pastebin.com/jNGJzFA7
>>25429154
Enjoy ur vacation, faget
>>25427699
Nice save. I like the use of the Phoenix resurrection. Was that planned?
>>25430353
I've had it planned for a long time, ever since the first chapters. A lot of shit has changed over time, but the rough idea has stayed the same.
You didn't really think I was going to end the story on such a sad note, did you?I love Luna way too much to do that.
>>25430701
You need to write a bonus chapter so you can end it on an even 40.
>>25429200
Randumb is not at all the right word for it. You're just shitposting.
crosspostan
>You are Anon and you are in Equestria
>You're the only human here.
>Ponies decide that that means you're the highest ranking human around, and thus the prince of humans
>A gang of alicorns ambushes you and shoot magic lasers at you
>Now you're an alicorn too
>TFW no hands
>Wait you have telekinesis
>Fuck yeah, telekinesis!
>You immediately begin to masturbate with your phenomenal cosmic power
>The alicorns all watch and masturbate at the sight of you jerking yourself off
>They then decide that you can't be trusted to handle responisbility because you just masturbated in public
>Nevermind that they joined in
>So you've been given a room in the canterlot castle and a squad of guards
>The princesses tell you they are still arranging for your new house to be built so you can stay at their place
>You try to go pick up some chicks but the guards keep cockblocking you
>Not cool
>>25430944
I'm not done with Changing Lanes. I was just stating I'd never be enough of an asshole to end a story like that.This story will probably never end.
>>25429200You mean it's just full of memes and ebin references.
>>25429181
This is a sequel to horse the horse right? Because that's great if it is, otherwise I don't know what the shit is going on.
Crossposting from >>25431516
>>25432192
"Fluttershy, I don't think I can keep doing this."
>She frowns at you.
>"What do you mean Honey? Aren't you happy?"
"Yeah, sure, it's great but-"
>You huff a few times as you search for the most delicate way to put this.
>The buttery mare leans in closer, batting her big green eyes.
>"It's okay, Sweetie; you can tell me anything."
>Right.
>This is Fluttershy.
>What are you even worried about?
>With a final sigh, you look her straight in the eyes and tell her how you're feeling.
"Shy, I don't think that I can keep up with this S&M play."
>Fluttershy's expression falls a little.
>She looks thoughtful for a moment.
>"But-"
"Listen, I know that last week was really great, but it's really way too far out of my comfort zone to do that for any length of time."
>"I see; it was really difficult for you, wasn't it?"
>Shy bobs her head.
>You sigh again.
"Thanks for understanding Fluttershy. I'm not opposed to doing it occasionally but I don't think it could ever be a regular thing. I'm sorry; I know you like being a sub."
>The pegasus mare giggles and shakes her head.
>"No, it's okay dear, I was thinking that maybe we should hold off on doing it again anytime soon. My bumpus is still really sore after all!"
>You smile.
>She smiles, cuddling up close.
>"So, since we're putting S&M aside, maybe, possibly, perhaps we can try my fetish?"
>What?
"What?"
>You give her a frown.
"But, isn't S&M your fetish?"
>A quick giggle escapes the mare's throat.
>"No you silly-billygoat, I did it because I thought that it was your fetish. All I said was that I liked being a sub."
>You blink in obvious confusion.
>Her voice takes on a mothering quality.
>"Aw, here, let me show you what I mean..."
>
>The night is long and dark
>Outside critters sleep.
>And in the distant town of Ponyville
>Your voice still echoes out in sheer orgasmic frustration"Y-YOU JUST SANK MY BATTLESHIP!"
>>25429181
WOO! I got a shout out!
>>25407422
Go for this, my friend: http://pastebin.com/ZnPLwx9PAnd know you're a cool person.
>>25427699
Hold that pony.
>>25429181
It's nice to get away from the usual "serious" stories that fills this fucking place. Some times I like to read a silly story. Thank you.
>>25435212
Stop being so happy, Pinkie.
>>25434588
I'll have one sandwich, hold the pony.
>>25431499
>phenomenal cosmic power
Is there any good greens about Kid Anon in here?
>>25435722
tsun horses best horses
>>25436062
I love the tiny "yes".
>>25436062
As if I would marry the pony that keeps me chained up in her basement.
>>25436193
You're thinking of yandere
>>25436062
She isn't done well often, but when she's done right she's great.
Off topic:does 4chins have a strikethrough feature? If so, could someone give me a heads up how to use it?
>>25436062
Indeed
>>25436367
Like spoilers, but use strike instead
>>25437590
>Like spoilers, but use strike instead
[strike]Like this?[/strike]
>>25437618
He did it.
The absolute madman.
>>25437618
>>25437590
I̷̸̥͖̺̝͚̜̟͙͝ ̴̶̹͓̼̀d͏͏̺̠̙̦̫͡o̠̙̕͟n͈̫̰̤̱̰͔͡ͅͅ'̳̤̦̲̰̥͎̥͇͟ṭ̨͉̰̠͉ͅ ̴̟͉̤̭͞k̵̬̜͔̗̙n̵̮͈̹̗̜͔͈͎o̶͙͚̯͖̥̹̕w̙̪̪͟͢͟ ̧̯͚̻̞͕͘a͏̼̰̼̜ͅb̧̭̩̣̮̥̠̰͔̕o͚̰̪̦̻̰̜u̷̪̤͎t̶͓͔̙̬̲̤ ̤̳s͔̰̰͎̰̀͜͡t̵̛̤̱͓͍̮̖̬̝ͅr̛̯i̶̮̙̼̻͎͡k̷̬̙e̶̼͇͜-̴̯͙͞ṭ̫̘̤̣̦̀ẖ̵̠̞͖r̶̫̥̺̗̝͡o̴̝̭͔͍̺̞̣̕ù̼̦͈̺̲͔̕g̸̲̯̟͉͈̗̀h͠ͅ,̧̟͈̼͍̩ ͞҉̥͓͙͇̦b̢̦͓̱̼̦͔̳u̴̱̖͉̭̦̰̤̲̟̕t̞ ͍͠t̢̠̦͕̕h̤̠̯͖̀e͓̭͖̺͖̥͎͚̕͝r̫̪͓ͅe҉̮̘͟͟ͅ ̲͓͎̲̻i͚s̶̹͍̣̗̘̥̪͇͎͞ ̡̧̬͖̼̱͘Z̢̩̜̮̫̯̥̻̕͡a̲̣̟̹̞̱̝̯l̢͍̺̥̮̻͎͓͓̟͞g̟̰̤̰̝̜̮̪͝o̯̱͙̖̟͓̪͇͓͘͡.̳̘.̷̙̠͈̞͎.͎̟͈̟̥̳̬
M̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶H̶o̶o̶d̶
>>25437699
How?
>>25437679
Same. Make me smarter, sempai.
>>25437832
>not knowing about the zalgo tags
lurk moar
>>25437832
~strikethough~
[zalgo]zalgo[/zalgo]
>>25437905
~Test~
[zalgo]Like this?[/zalgo]
N̶i̶g̶g̶a̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶i̶k̶e̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶t̶e̶x̶t̶
>>25437923
Fucking hell.
>>25437937
See, this is just taunting me. Do people just cut and paste or something?
"Are you two sure you don't want any ice cream?"
>Princess Cadence and Prince-Consort Shining Armor looked up at you with a pair of smiles
>They were nice, toothy and pearly white smiles
>There was no malicious intent on their faces, and their body language didn't suggest that anything was out of the ordinary
>They were smiling up at you not to mock or because they had to
>They were doing it because they wanted to smile at you, they wanted you to know the care they felt in their hearts for you
>The smiles that the royal couple were giving you was one filled with friendship and trust
>And you didn't fucking trust it one little bit
>You knew better
>Ohhhhhhhh did you fucking know better....
>"I'd love some, Nonny," Cadence said as the frozen treat horse passed you your large vanilla cone. "But I'm on a diet right now. So no ice cream for me."
>"And I can't have any because Candy wanted me to go on the diet with her," Shining chirps, patting his belly with a hoof. "I was meaning to lose a couple of pounds anyway. The Prince's life makes you a bit pudgy if you aren't careful!"
>Your expression doesn't change from the bemused, nearly irritated look that you had worn since coming to this ice cream stand
>So this was how they were going to be huh?
>Alright then...
>Reaching into your pockets you pulled out a bag of bits
>The same bag of bits that you had just used to buy the ice cream in your hand in fact
"I'm going to ask you two one last time, while we're here standing in front of the stand. Do you two want some ice cream?"
>Not breaking eye contact with them you shake your bit bag
"We're right here, I just want you two to remember that. And I'm offering to buy you guys ice cream. You can get whatever flavor, size and topping that you want. Then we can go sit by that tree over there and enjoy our treats."
>You point at the little horse sitting behind the counter
"She'll get you whatever you two want right now."
>>25437905
>>25437923
k̶e̶k̶
>>25438098
I know where this is going.
>>25438098
I see where this is going. This is one of my fucking buttons. I preemptively and fully support Anon's rage.
>>25438098
>Cadence giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof
>"Don't you worry about us you silly little filly! We don't need any ice cream!"
>You could feel a headache coming on as Shining walked over and nudged your leg
>"Yeah, what she said. But thanks for offering, Anon. You're a good friend."
>"The best friend that the two of us could ask for," Cadence added with a happy wing flutter
>You look at the little ice cream horse
>From the look on her face you can tell that she knew that these two little horses were full of the shittest shit that had ever been shat
>Just like you she was wise to their antics
>The three of you came down to this stand at least once a week
>You had a sweet tooth, and it got hot in the Crystal Empire this time of year
>And this ice cream stand made some of the best ice cream in the city
>So why not cool off with some ice cream and enjoy chatting with your two favorite horses?
>...Was what you had thought at first
>...But now you knew what was going to happen
>The same fucking thing was going to happen that happened every time this little pink horse and her little horse husband came down here with you
>And you were sick of it
>Alright
>To be fair you were KINDA doing this to yourself by inviting them each time but you still had a right to be mad dammit!
>THIS WAS YOUR FUCKING ICE CREAM!
>Frowning, you glared at the two
"I will BUY you two your own cones," you say, nearly growling. "I WILL buy your own cones with my OWN MONEY."
>This time Shining chuckles, nuzzling his wife's cheek before turning around
>His horn glows, and a pink aura tugs at your hand
>"Come on, Anon, let's go and get out of this heat."
>You and the ice cream pone share a look before you follow the prince toward the little oak tree that was a stone's throw away from the ice cream stand
>Give me strength, little ice cream pone
>Only you know my pain
>>25438160
>"You have a good day, sir," ice cream horse calls
"I'll try," you answer, your grip tightening ever so slightly on your frozen prize. "I'll try."
>Cadence's shoulder brushes against your leg as she walks beside you, the same bright little smile on her face
>You knew, just like her husband, lovebutt was happy to be out and about
>The Crystal Castle was cold and lonely even in the summer and you knew that both of them wanted to be out amongst their subjects
>Which was why you always made it a point to drag/force/carry their furry little asses down here every once in awhile
>And though they sometimes complained when you did it you knew they appreciated
>Which almost made the headache worth it
>Almost
>Though you're still frowning you bring your ice cream up to your face and have yourself a lick
>Hmmm
>That's the shit right there...
>Like he always does Shining sits to your left as you plop down onto the ground and lean back up against the tree
>And like she always did Cadence sat to your right, leaning against you and resting her head on your shoulder
>>25438212
>You always told her NOT to do that fucking shit, since, you know, if was like a hundred and ten degrees outside but she never listened
>Condense and Shiny here were a touchy-feely kind of horse
>If they weren't rubbing up against you or nuzzling you they'd jump up into your lap or just hop up onto your back and make you give them "human rides"
>And you didn't even want to fucking get into your bed situation...
>Eying them warily you began to tongue-fuck your ice cream like the dirty little bitch it was
>Yeah
>Get that shit all over my face
>That's the stuff right there...
>"So, Nonny, how's the armory been treating you?" Shining asked
>Wiggling against the tree to get a bit more comfortable you look over at cap'n pone
"Not as bad as I thought it was going to be," you say. "It's been a pain in the ass teaching all of those armory ponies how to use a power hammer but--"
>That was when you felt it
>The slightest pressure on top of your cone making your pinkie move just a hair
>Your head snaps over so fast that you see stars and you fucking GLARE at Cadence
>The Princess of Love smiles back at you, the picture of 'innocence'
>"I heard HeatStroke complaining about you bringing in all of of those thingamajiggers with you to help the armory out the other day," she said, trying to continue your conversation
>Your eyes drift over to your ice cream
>You couldn't see any out of place lick marks but you knew what you felt...
>You swear to god if you catch that little horse licking your fucking ice cream you were punting her back to the castle
"Heatstroke complains if I so much as sneeze in that fucking dump he calls a forge," you grumble, getting yourself another tongue-full of ice creamy goodness
>Lord knows how much more of it you'd have if what you thought was happening was happening
>Shining chuckles
>"You know if you were a little bit nicer to him Heatstroke wouldn't bust your flank all the time right?"
>>25438287
>You snort, moving your ice cream away from the pink menace
"I can make ten times what that old prick makes and he still tries to give me shit. The fucker needs to grow up and--"
>You feel that slight pressure on your cone again
"OI!"
>Your head whips around and your growl at Shining
"Didn't I fucking ask you if you wanted any fucking ice cream?!"
>"...What are you talking about, Anon buddy?" Shining asked, cocking his head to the side
>Naha
>You weren't doing this shit today
>Not again
"I know you just took a lick of my ice cream!"
>You feel that pressure on the fucking cone again
"Cadence, I swear to fucking god I'm going to put you over my knee and give your subjects one hell of a show!"
>While most ponies would be a little concerned about being threatened by a guy that was twice their height and triple their weight Cadence doesn't even flinch
>In fact she doesn't even move her head from your shoulder
>...Did you just fucking see her licking her lips?
>"Are you alright there, Nonny?" she asked, 'concerned'. "Is the heat getting to you?"
>You turn to look over at Shining
>The little nigger has melted ice cream ON HIS FUCKING FACE!
>YOU CAN FUCKING SEEEEEEEE IIIIIIITTTTTT!
>Before you could comment as such the prince's tongue darts out of his mouth and cleans up the evidence
>"Yeah, maybe we should go and get you something to drink because I think you're starting to see things," he tells you
>You try to move your ice cream in a position where you'd be able to see it at all times but it's useless
>Whenever you turned to talk to one of these little devil horses the other could do whatever they wanted while your head was turned
>And you couldn't just STARE at your ice cream like a weirdo or keep it in front of your face at all times
>You might not have wanted them to eat your shit but you weren't at THAT level yet
>...Yet
>Making a concerned noise Cadence wraps a wing around you
>"Shining hasn't even looked at you--epp!"
>>25438326
>Fucking gotcha bitch!
>You watched as Cadence's tongue slipped out of her mouth
>This time she wasn't going for your ice cream
>This time she was licking clean her lips
>Growling your hand shot you and clamped her muzzle shut
"What the fuck's this then?"
>Your thumb runs along her bottom lip, coating it in a white liquid
>Not breaking eye contact with Shining, who looked a hell of a lot more nervous all of the sudden, you popped your thumb into your mouth
>Yep
>Yep
>You FUCKING knew it!
>Letting go of the thieving princess's mouth the two of you stare at each other
>Before Cadence lunges forward and noms your ice cream
"MOTHERFUCKER!" you snarl, pulling your ruined treat away from her
>You try to scoot to safety but you could feel Shining pressing his furry little body against your side, effectively trapping you
>Before you could turn to slug that little horse you got to watch as his muzzle appeared by your shoulder and lurched forward, taking a huge chunk of your ice cream
>FUCKING CUNTING SHIT NIGGER!
>You were about to throw out an elbow to avenge your ice cream that YOU FUCKING PAID FOR when a pink blur knocks you onto your back
>Your ice cream and magicked out of your hand with a pop and you let out an irritated groan as your back hits the dirt
"...I hate you both."
>Cadence pressed her nose against yours
>"Sorry, Nonny," she said, nuzzling your chin with a giggle. "We couldn't help it."
>Your ice cream coated her face
>The fucking ice cream that you paid for is all over her dirty horse face
>That little nigger
>And to top it all off you could see what was left of your ice cream floating next to her head
>You are a 1,000,000 percent mad
"I swear to god the second that you let me up I'm going to kick both of your asses so hard that all of your shit for the next month will be shaped like my boot
>Shining magically takes the cone away from his wife as she sits on your stomach
>"Then I guess Cadence is gonna have to sit on you until you calm down huh?"
>>25438384
>The Princess of Love beams, wiggling her rump in what you assumed was villian-like glee
>"Don't worry, Shiny! I'll made Nonny stop being such a stick in the mud!"
"I'm not being a stick in the mud. A stick in the mud is someone that ruins something because of their bad mood and no other reason."
>Your eye twitches as Shining takes a bite out of your cone
>You could pick up Cadence and toss her at her husband
>This little pink horse didn't weigh more than ten pounds soaking wet
>And that meant you could REALLY lob her
>...But what's the fucking point?
>Sighing, you continue to speak
"I'm completely justified--"
>"PRINCESS OF LOVE ATTACK NUMBER FIVE!"
>You weren't able to finish your thought as Cadence began to assault you with nuzzles and kisses, her eyes sparkling with joy as she wrapped her hooves around your shoulders and mashed her lips against yours
>Shining smiled as she then began to roll the two of you around, not letting up her nuzzles or kisses, as you cussed her out
>His widdle furry chest puffing out, Shining took another bite out of your cone, licking his lips
>"Sweet Celestia is this some good ice cream."
>Fucking Cadence
>Fucking Shining
>Fucking ice cream
>>25438413
Alright, I'm back from on high to start 4channing again. I wanted to write something about Condense and Shining so I did. Hope you liked it. Comments are appreciated.
>>25438422
>Condense
>>25438434
I know what I said
>>25438422
Nice. But this could quite easily be solved by having a milkshake. I mean, come on, it's 2015, why aren't you drinking a milkshake? It's fucking
M I L K
I
L
K
>>25438422
Good to see, mang. As much as I'm a fan of your new Bonbon stuff, it's fun to see Lurvbutt and Sarmor stuff again.
>>25438456
>Missing the ice cream on shining armor's lips
>Dat artifacting
>>25438506
>>25438506
bajillion hours in paint
>>25438422
>>25428981
>4/21
So close.
>>25436062
I smell a derail
>>25437986
I love taunting the new kids.
>>25439523
That's not tsun at all.b-baka
>>25438422
>>25438434
>Condense
>>25438442
Oh really. So tell me then. Is that aHomestuckreference?
Are there any good Rarity stories? I have nothing to do tonight and I'm feeling some dress hoers
>>25439587
Yes.
>>25440379
You shouldn't lie to people like that, Anon. It's not nice.
>>25440555
hush bby
More Captain Anonymous when?
>>25441122
When Jews stop hoarding shekels
Does AiE like converted green?
>>25441353
Sure. Stories is stories.
>>25441122
When you revive the author.
Kid Anon story when?
>>25438422
This is great. I wonder what it would take for those two to legitimately get upset about with Anon; it's like they're made of sugar and rainbows.
>>25441852
Never because you keep asking
Hey I'm retarded. I should have specified that this is in fact a sequel. Season 2 of Horse la Horse basically. Sorry about that.
>>25429200
Hey, the referential humor and silliness is not for everyone. Glad you gave it a try though.
Nice numbers, my man. Sorry it wasn't for you.
>>25429693
>>25430038
I hope this cleared stuff up. You were probably confused because, again, sequel. My bad for not saying. If you still have questions, ask I guess, maybe there is something I didn't explain well enough. Sorry.
>>25430073I swear I didn't see that titty, sheriff. I was too focused on the legs and butt. Too late to delete now. Sorry!
>>25432147
Yo, you hit it right on the nose. I hope you enjoyed it and the stuff to come, this season is going to be hyper than ever!
>>25433728H-H-HEARTATTACKACKACK.
Sorry.
>>25435212
Aw thank you my man, the fact that you enjoyed it warms my heart. I hope you stay tuned for more.
>>25442692
Those legs look weird with those hips.
![large[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/3Z0iW6C.jpg "large[1].jpg")
More Twilight stories pls.
I said a hip hop,
Hippie to the hippie,
The hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop
>>25443441https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CYJ73pVpVc
>>25443953
That feel when some white kid from the 90s has better moves than you.
