Hi /lit/, I have some new OC involving John "The Meme" Green.
I'm the Indianapolis-fag that has posted periodically about encounters with him around town (not stalking, it just seems we frequent the same area).
>be last weekend
>go to a bookstore that I don't normally visit because it's a bit of a drive
>among the few local authors, there is a glass case halfway filled with assorted signed John Green books
>A note on the past: he has purposely released some of his books to bookstores, thousands of signed copies, with the purpose of devaluing signed editions
>back to the bookstore
>$150 price tag
>$150
>Books have dust on them from not moving in so long
If people care, I can Greentext the closer encounters of the YA kind I've had.
>>8031416
>be me at coffeeshop
>we've bumped into each other a handful of times there, but we never talk
>he normally grabs something to go
>one day I'm on my way in as he is leaving
>I hold the door for him because good midwestern boy
>he turns his head to say thank you
>he must have just had a bite of muffin, because he sprays crumbs on my shoulder and lower face
>he says nothing else, but just ducks his head and scurries away down the sidewalk
>mfw
>>8031441
you got crumbed on senpai
>>8031441
>be at big museum exhibition opening party
>little did I know, the John Meme's wife is the curator of the museum
>he's hanging out in a corner sipping his drink, not talking to anyone
>the old wealthy donor types have no clue who he is, so they ignore the guy in the ill fitting blazer and untucked shirt
>his wife stops by the check on him from time to time
>I can't tell what they're saying as a steal glance at them, but it is becoming clear that something is amiss
>eventually he leaves, well before the end of the evening
>notice being a bit more touchy with wealthy donors than she was before
>kek internally
>>8031464
>going shopping one summer afternoon
>the parking lot for the Whole Foods is very busy
>lo and behold there is one parking space
>Mr. Meme is waiting for car to finish backing out of space to pull in
>swing in the spot as quickly as possible
>see the front of his car in my rearview for a bit, wondering if he would get out and say something
>he drives on past without even honking
keep going you bastard
I don't have much of anything else, I see him around frequently but these are just the gems from the past few years. Most of the time I see just him, no family with him.
>>8031416
>be last weekend
>be
>last weekend
HOLY SHIT, OP. YOU ARE LAST WEEKEND?
>>8031486
I guess I have one other one, but it isn't *that* good.
>sitting at the same coffee shop as always
>pre-muffin spray
>be re-reading Lolita at a sidewalk table, smoking
>he walks out with his usual to go cup, sees the cover and stops
>he stands there for a second then pulls out his phone, acts like he is texting though I can see in the reflection from the shop window that he's playing with the lock screen
>he puts the phone back in his pocket and turns to me
>"I really enjoyed that when I first read it."
>"Me too, that's why I'm reading it again. Do you have a favorite part?"
>"The roadtrip..."
>trails into silence
>sit there awkwardly for a second
>tips his cup to me
>"enjoy"
>walks away, head down and shoulders hunched, like usual
>>8031505
It can be a temporal indicator as well and you know that.
Does he seem like a nice person?
>>8031531
He seems like a nice enough guy, but he's painfully awkward when speaking to people who don't know who he is/don't acknowledge they know who he is. I don't think it's an ego thing, but he has gotten used to the social crutch.
>>8031541
Gotcha. Might just genuinely have social anxiety and only be up for talking to people when it's something he's interested in.
Also, is he the same guy in those Crash Course videos or does he have an identical twin or some shit or what? I seem to remember he has a twin but I'm tired.
>>8031548
Yes, he is. He has a brother, but I don't think I've ever seen him IRL except for maybe once.
If John Green wasn't so successful, /lit/ would love him and consider his works quintessential teen reading.
>>8031565
stop playing anon
These encounters actually improve my opinion of him. It seems like he would be a decent person to be friends with.
>>8031581
Befriend him, anon. Guide him. Make him... one of us.
>at local library
>small crowd gathering
>John green book signing
>ignore it and continue browsing
>2 hours later I'm about to leave
>hit the bathroom first
>someone in the stall
>deep flow of urine plunging into the toilet
>multiple stops and starts
>I need to shit so bad
>he finishes and comes out if the stall to see me waiting
>it's John Green.
>"excuse me, s-sorry" I ignore him and go on the stall.
>there is piss all over the fucking seat
>"What the fuck dude?!"
>no reply
>don't even hear him leave
Fuck John Green
>>8031524
that's what I would've done desu
>>8031464
Of course
This isnt real but it deserves to be
>>8031873
Agreed
>>8031691
Classic John "The Meme" Green
>>8031691
>no high-pitched voice shrieking "Corn!?! I dont remember eating corn!"
wotta sick twist ending worthy of this summer's Nicholas Cage vehicle
> be le me just bein all atheist n' shit
>a wild john green appears
>suddenly le troll idea appears in my head *me gusta* *winks at u*
>hey john green?
>y-yeah
>ur a fag lol!!!
>john green: FFFUUUUUUUU!
>*does troll face*
>>8031416
Did most of this happen in or around broad ripple OP?
>>8031565
>teen reading
this phrase is bullshit despite whatever bookriot wants you to believe
teens are capable of reading more advanced works that connect with them on a deeper level than "I WAS IN LOVE WITH HER PLEASE PAY ATTENTION IF THIS ISN"T OBVIOUS YET"
ffs kids used to read Dickens and now I bet half of all (literate) teens couldn't
>>8033852
Maybe. I don't want get more specific because I don't want people to start memeing at him IRL.
