What was /lit/ like during high school? Were you the patrician valedictorian, or maybe a degenerate dropout? Did you have an interest in literature, or did that only come later in life?
I was an edgy neckbeard who went out of his way to criticize the Bush administration in social studies class whenever possible. I had long, greasy hair, wore punk/metal band t-shirts every day, and am pretty sure many of my classmates suspected me of being a potential school shooter. In terms of literature I read lots of Lovecraft and other classic horror, beat poetry, and comic books. I wasn't at the top of my class or anything, but I did well enough be an ap student and receive praise from my English and social studies teachers.
What about you???
I was the friendless loser girl, "good girl"/teacher's pet stereotype who spent all time in the library during lunch rather than in the cafeteria, hoping a qt boy would approach me because of my patrician taste in literature (which never happened, of course). I just wanted to find my Sartre and be someone's Castor.
I was the quiet loser that a bunch of people thought was mysterious or deep since I was also relatively attractive.
>>8244409
>that a bunch of people thought was mysterious or deep
>>8244399
Would you like to be my girlfriend?
>>8244379
Friendless dancing boy who hated everyone because they were smarter on mathematics. I didn't read at all, all I did was dance my entire high school. What I enjoyed the most is that the shitheads that used to mock me because they thought I was dumb couldn't step up to me in physics. They were methodics retards like the teachers while I was actually understanding
STEM/debate salutatorian. Slightly weird/fat but still moderately popular with plenty of friends. Literature came later.
>>8244379
class rabble rouser, yearbook editor who trolled the entire school when my captions forced the administration to recall every single yearbook after complaints from parents who felt i made racist and misogynist comments. i also designed a graphic on the front cover that had three white hooded klux members disguised as flames.
> i was a little shit insomma.
>>8244399
You sound like my girlfriend if she never discovered lit
>>8244418
I don't know, what's your favorite book?
>>8244379
I read but maybe like 5 books a year, never occured to me to pursue reading the way I do now because my parents are blue collar plebs and wanted me to go to the Army or trade school. I had to develop an appetite for literature on my own.
But I used to steal those mass market hardcovers that the school would give out to English classes, so I read a lot of Steinbeck, Fitzgerald, Ginsberg poetry, comics here and there, Dean Koontz (lol) and listened to Bob Dylan. I came off as a hipster because I looked disheveled because my dad was poor and slept through a lot of my classes and I was the only person I knew who read for leisure. Also I hung out with the skater kids and played vidya, had several gfs and had a fairly consistent amount of sex. Normies and niggers never really bothered me cause I bought weed off of them.
High school wasnt as bad for me as it seemed to have been for most people who browse this board.
>>8244427
Wait what
But I have discovered lit too
>>8244440
maybe you're not as literate as you thought, chickie-poo
>>8244457
Well I think nothing anymore. Reality hit me long ago
I was the kid born into the world with a mean mug that didn't fade until I got laid at 17. Extremely insecure, timid, self-loathing all the way until senior year of high school. In 7th grade my football coach told me half jokingly that if anyone was to ever shoot up the school he'd bet top dollar that it'd be me. The very next year I get kicked out for threatening to shoot up the school to my female friend. Distraught that everyone knew it was me, I skipped school all the time in high school out of fear of confrontation. Didn't end up getting in trouble because I was a good, well behaved student and showed sincere regret (and the judge's son was in my grade at my school as well).
9-11th, outcasted, quit football after 10th grade (played my whole life prior to that -- was too lazy and wimpy to go to the gym every day with the others). Stayed friends with a lot of those kids, best friend became a drug dealer and got caught, other best friend became a much better drug dealer and got me into tons of parties and doin psychedelics and smoking weed every day.
Trip on research chemicals (knowingly), have a seizure and almost die, proceed to quit doing drugs. Brief period of severe loneliness, then somehow rekindle a middle school friendship with a kid a another school who is like some weird cross between Thoreau and Chris McCandless, but without any cynicism whatsoever.
Survive high school. Move to the other side of the US to live with strangers and start a new life.
I was an alt cool kid. wasn't the athletic cool kids. we were the skateboard kids, get high before anyone else, party before anyone else kids. we were the kids the athletic kids wished they could be, but they couldn't give up the athlete dream. we would sometimes invite them to get high or party and they would have have a blast. we converted the athlete of the year into one of us. we spent a lot of time skating out front of the school. girls would sit on the curb and watch us. we would play hacky sack with them. we would make fun of the Gothic kids and the weird smoker kids. everyone liked us but we were always mentioned alongside weed lol. for some reason the teachers respected us. I guess they saw skating as something positive. we didn't get good grades but we didn't fail. just floated on by. I would usually also hang with the hardcore gamer kids a fair bit. the kids other kids called game nerds. we would play street fighter and mortal Combat. good times.
>>8244409
I was also this. Played a lot of vidya back then, stopped in my senior year. Read a lot and generally seemed smart in my classes (but I was scraping by). It's because I'm very pretty. Really I was a mostly friendless loser, but as I started making my friends in my senior year they all started asking me why I seemed so mysterious and like what I did in my spare time... When you are pretty people care more about you it seems, I think the privilege concept is stupid, but if there is one I believe in it's "pretty privilege". I can't believe they thought I was "deep" or "mysterious". I had to explain to them that I got really fucked up on numerous different drugs and browse 4chan in my spare time. Absolutely humiliating.
>>8244379
>was /lit/ like during high school
>was
>>8244379
smart loner
>>8244473
Are you Katielovesclassicbooks? Did you get disillusioned/traumatized from our visit to your youtube channel so you decided to come hear and feed the beast that killed you?
i had 2 friends irl and spent most of senior year drinking/smoking at school and reading intentionally fuck off big books (IJ, east of eden, gone with the wind, house of leaves)
surprisingly i did pretty well in hs and now i'm at a global top 40 school
>>8244379
The weird, frightening one who everyone thought would shoot up the school. I dressed in multicolor quilted skirts and wore floor-length oversized housecoats, wore my hair purposefully messy, always walked on my toes and avoided shoes as often as I could. I had my glasses chewed off on the ends so they were sharp, meowed at people, sat directly on the floor instead of in chairs, etc. In general, pretty cringe-y. I was in all honors classes and graduated third in the class.
I was in the library all the time, though it didn't have much literature. I still tried to read all the way through the stacks, only got about a third through before graduating. Because they didn't have manga, I also bought a ton of that and would loan it to the ~6 anime nerds at my school (this was early 2000s in a rural area, anime was not popular).
I was brilliant but had few friends. Not because I was a loser or anything, more that I struggled to connect with people because nobody shared my interests, so it was better to just read books and watch films. I would also sometimes get really drunk at parties and be either hilarious or alienating and confrontational, couldn't really control which
I was in the magnet section of the school so it was rightly assumed that we were all awkward dorks. I was the guy who slept through all his classes but managed to somehow get As and piss off the people who really tried, and it makes me feel a bit guilty now to be honest.
I read stuff my older brother introduced me to, especially Vonnegut and Heller, so more entry-level lit than trash. I didn't read nearly as much as I do now. I started running cross country as a sophomore which helped me deal with my depression, made me a lot healthier, and gave me some solid friends. That was among the best decisions I've ever made.
I was the tall guy with pretty eyes that was acquaintances with everyone but only had a couple real friends. Insecurity and depression kept me from talking to girls for the most part until after I graduated.
>>8244489
I will not answer this
>>8244501
classic weeb faggot
I'm 19 years old.
I am handsome, smart, athletic and virile.
I have a novel that is in it's final editing stage, and a creative writing professor at my college has read the first draft and thinks it's saleable.
I have a girlfriend who is confident, articulate, playful and spontaneous.
I have a small group of interesting friends from different social and academic backgrounds, and I also have many other acquaintances who see me as a reliable source of humour and good company.
Both my parents are alive and in good health.
I have no regrets.
I have already experienced three existential crises, the latter of which was described as having the depth and profundity of a man twice my age.
I am a passionate lover, a sharp thinker, and a trader of witty repartee.
I am not self-pitying, meek or needlessly humble.
I will live a good life at your expense.
>>8244501
your the kind of kid we made fun of. did you smoke fag?
>>8244511
Hold the goddamn phone
It can't be
>>8244434
My favorite book is You Can't Go Home Again by Thomas Wolfe.
What is your favorite book?
>>8244519
I've never done any drugs, though my family are all drug addicts.
I was definitely made fun of, but I tended to embrace it. If they weren't impressed enough by how strange I was, I'd usually eat something off the ground for them. It was mostly the black girls who did anything physical though (I cut my long hair off after being slammed around with it too much).
>>8244518
Do you guys keep documents on your computers of all the copypasta you like to copy and pasta?
I got the best grades but that's not impressive because I went to a normal school. I was just a low-middle popularity person until everyone became normie/ more social in the final year (the final year was also given a common room) and I became a lot more avoidant. I stayed in contact with no one.
>>8244477
I hope this is bait.
>>8244511
Katie no!
We love you! Please be innocent again!
>>8244548
why do you say that
>>8244534
Can I get in on this relationship? My favorite book is The Story of the Eye ;)
>>8244511
Dark Katie...
The prophecies were true.
>>8244534
Crime and Punishment, probably. But I like Wolfe though
>>8244518
prepare to die bitch
>>8244477
>can't even spell Kombat
fucking poser
slacked off
drank, smoked, toked
Got into reading young, but got real /lit/ my junior year
took a couple years to be an LDS missionary, then got back into lit
>>8244580
yeah I wasn't a gamer nerd man lool
Didn't go
top kek
now I have cash money and a house with no mortgage
suck it goyim
i was a 'degenerate', but straight As. i read a lot. i didn't talk too much, just smoked weed with friends and tried to get laid. played halo a lot too
>>8244511
GUYS! KATIE IS STARTING WITH THE GREEKS! THIS IS REALLY HER! SHE HAS COME HOME
>>8244582
>took a couple years to be an LDS missionary
That sounds interesting
Describe the mormon missionary life from the perspective of a /lit/ poster
>>8244511
Dubs confirm
I was real, real depressed, and orbited my artsy girlfriend at the time, who was also real, real depressed
>>8244379
Robotics, Book Club, and Quizbowl team captain, who was in a group of friends that comprised the top 20 kids in the school. I goofed around a lot, always had a book on me, and ditched class to work on robots.
>>8244511
Someone cap this
>>8244572
I enjoyed Crime and Punishment and Dostoevsky's other work. Would you still consider being my girlfriend?
>>8244615
it's obviously not her
>>8244616
Yes but I have a penis
no bully
>>8244512
I'm not a gay guy, btw. Rereading, I guess I didn't make that clear. The skirts were gender-appropriate at least, if still distracting.
>>8244619
Whatever you say, Katie.
>>8244623
wasn't using faggot in the homosexual sense. I was using it in the 'Jesus fuck you're a faggot' sense
I was a left-communist who got suspended a lot for trying to fuck with the administration/certain clubs, was well liked, had decent (85%+) grades, and the admiration of my social science & history teachers
Not much has changed since then
>>8244633
Get a fucking job
>>8244648
Sure but I don't have a penis.
>>8244648
Yes I do. Are you masochistic, sexually speaking?
>>8244636
I've got better. I dress normally and don't have awkward verbal tics anymore, at least.
Despite whatever eccentricities I had in high school, I'm still doing better in life than almost all of them. Most of the girls who hit me are in prison for drugs, or living as poverty-ridden single mothers.
>>8244648
I have huge hairy man-tits is that ok? You could pretend its muscles
>>8244379
I was cringy and autistic, like I am now. I didn't read, I mostly played video games.
My english teacher was a conspiracy theorist and right-wing philosopher. He made us read Ayn Rand, Asher Lev, and Catcher in the rye/one flew over the cuckoo's nest. He was a Christian and he would use the "if god isn't real where would we get our morals from" and I was growing out of religion, so he would constantly try to argue with me in class over good vs evil, meaning of life, agnosticism and stuff like that.
High school really doesn't matter. I don't do social networks and only keep in touch with one person from that whole school.
I only started getting into books after I realized that chasing girls, money, and popularity is a very hollow existence.
>>8244669
Dazeet mane blacko's gonna black
>loner but attractive
>smart but didn't try
Do you realize how delusional you guys sound
>>8244682
>chasing girls, money, and popularity is something I'm unable to achieve so I reduce cognitive dissonance by labeling it as hollow
ftfy
>>8244688
lol it's like the beta anime cuck's ultimate fantasy protagonist, not believable in the slightest
>>8244684
Honestly though, most of the school is either in poverty or prison anyway, regardless of their bullying status or skin color.
Rural schools are hellholes of misery. I was looking at properties in my hometown, and the enormous Methodist church I went to for years is for sale for $160,000. That's the price of a shitty 2 bedroom home where I live now. I could buy the whole church and all the buildings with it.
>>8244677
Then go back to Mexico you dirty scumbag.
I was the popular jock who fucked all the hot and cheerleader pussy. Fuck yeah, it was amazing.
>>8244710
My school didn't even have those people...
>>8244688
I was actually both of those things, and many more taboot. In fact my life overall consists of a series of contradictory statements. I possess, for a example, a larger-than-average and very handsome penis and also a great deal of sexual stamina, though I am also a virgin. I am attractive but have never had a girlfriend. I am intelligent but achieved mediocre grades at an obscure college. My writing is profound, articulate and highly entertaining though my only published writing to-date is reserved to shitposting on /lit/. I am a racist but love music by black musicians and identify more with the resentful burn-it-down mentality of the Afro-Caribbean population than I do with the staid-and-reliable mentality of most Whites. I have the potential to be a leader of men but instead I work in a job which demands my meek subservience. So many elements of my personality consist only of contradiction, and it is therein my genius and appeal doth lye.
>>8244701
dude. SERIOUSLY DO THAT. How fucking incredible would it be to live in a church, it's like one enormous open-concept, ornate-as-fuck room. Most churches have small kitchens and stuff for christening after parties too so you're set
>>8244718
saved, thanks.
>>8244700
pic-related, me and my evil clone
>>8244727
this
>>8244379
I was pleb-tier in the literary sense. Began cracking spines on the good shit by late high school. I was in a strange limbo where I could go to-and-from different groups of people decently welcomed but didn't stick. School I attended was semi-prominent in theater which landed me on stage a few times, occasionally backstage and as a semi-autonomous assistant director and co-writer too. Had a plebeian literature romance. A lass three years younger than myself; her literary interests into Shakespeare and Vonnegut.
The musical was what brought us closer. In comparison to my performing arts peers I was mediocre. Against her I was a dwindling star drawing its last breath. Something about her audition left the more established actors in awe and I wanted to know more about the person behind the role.
We were sucking faces and interrupting rehearsals before long. Still pulled off a tremendous performance. As the star, she had her own change room which we fucked in. After meeting her folks, I came to see where her literary interest came from. Her father, Mark, was genuine /lit/. If I tried to talk, I’d often feel out my depths.
After two years; a bubble, a boil, and then shoving my head in the pot. Went our separate ways because she began falling for someone else and squeezing me out the picture frame. I was in university, a course I hated (computer science) because I wanted to bring substantially more to the table than just bread. Drank the degree away and picked up construction work. Along the way I’ve fucked two of her former (because of me) friends. One I’m still seeing and I earnestly believe I’ve moved on. Surely I have.
I'm a bit attractive or average looking I guess but I never talked to girls. Some girls came to me though and I refused them all which is my biggest regret. A couple girls were trying to get me to touch their butts, like they'd bend over in front of me and other times asked if their butt was big enough. These were the type of girls I thought were way out of my league too. Honestly, I don't regret those girls that did the slutty crap but I regret a single girl who was kind, attractive, not slutty, intelligent. Now I got fat, stopped weightlifting and girls aren't as attracted to me.
>>8244511
Katie-Chan....
>>8244542
Yes, I have 10 variations of the navy seal pasta on my desktop.
>>8244746
>Began cracking spines on the good shit by late high school.
Stopped reading there. I bet you wear paisley shirts.
I was fat, smart, and funny, sorta like Jonah Hill but with scholarships and no fame. Was a total pleb until university, mostly because my parents and friends were all smalltown know-nothings so I didn't really have any exposure until I got to college and took english courses that taught me more than Lord of the Flies and Catcher in the Rye. Still trying to make up ground for my early plebhood, but I have the advantage of being blessed with a wicked-smaht brain. Also not so fat anymore which is swell
>>8244769
>I bet you wear paisley shirts.
Is this an insult? What is this?
I'm going to kill myself today. A lot.
>>8244776
nah dude don't do that killing yourself sucks. Why you gon have a suicide bruh?
>>8244601
>Daily Schedule
Wake up at 6:30
Work out for 30 minutes
Get ready for the day
Personal study at 8 - reading the Book of Mormon, the Bible, other scriptures, and some /mormonlit/ - books written by some leaders of the Church, including the "infitine jest" of mormonism - Jesus the Christ by
James E Talmage
Companionship Study at 9 - plan for lessons of the day, practice teaching, etc.
Start proselyting for the day - 10
knock doors, talk to people in the street, service, teach people.
Take an hour for lunch and an hour for dinner. Dinner needed to be done by 6.
Need to be in at 9, or 9:30 if teaching a lesson. Then plan for half an hour, and then get ready for bed and go to bed at 10:30
>Weekly Schedule
Monday is Preparation Day - 10 to 6 is free time. Email family, play sports, shop, hang out, do laundry. This is the only time to email or shop or do laundry.
Tuesday is District Meeting - 10-11 a meeting where a district leader trains on how to be a better missionary. Leadership will be explained
Thursday is Planning Day - 10-2 you plan lessons and proselyting activities for the next week.
Sunday is Church - a 3 hour block, with 1-2 hours of meetings before or after the block. Includes a meeting with the congregation leaders and a separate meeting with the local missionary leader.
>Monthly Schedule
District Meeting every week, but the first Wednesday of the month has a Zone Meeting, which has precedent (no District Meeting). The third or fourth week might have a larger meeting in accordance to district meeting - a three-month rotation of Interviews with the Mission President, Zone Conference, and Mission Conferences.
Every 6 weeks is a transfer, where there is the possibility to change 1) location, or 2) companion. Generally most missionaries are with a companion for 2 transfers, and in an area for 4 transfers.
>Leadership
A missionary has a companion. One of them is the Senior Companion, meaning the leader of the two, but they work together. They have an 'area', a set geographic area in which they teach people who live there. Always in accordance to a local congregation.
A group of 3-5 companionships makes a district. One male missionary leader is chosen as a district leader. They help teach missionaries in their district.
3-5 districts make a Zone, and one male companionship have the role on Zone Leaders. They have the same role as district leaders - training missionaries.
A mission will have anywhere from 4-12 zones, depending on how many missionaries they have.
A mission has a President, generally from another place, and he has 2 counselors from the local area. He also chooses 2 missionaries to be assistants and help train missionaries.
A Mission President will have a meeting every month with every Zone Leader, helping them send news and trainings from the Mission President to every missionary.
>>8244790
I aspire towards your organization.
>>8244790
>>8244601
Cont.
Every Missionary works with Key Indicators of Conversion, focused towards converting people to the Church. Missionaries will set goals according to the following:
Investigators Baptized
Investigators with a Baptismal Date
Investigators who came to Church
Lessons Taught with a Member Present
*Referrals Recieved/Contacted
Other Lessons
New Investigators
*Less-Active Lessons
Each of the indicators (except for Less-Active Lessons/Referrals) should lead to the one above them. As you find a new investigator (someone interested in the Church), you'll teach them, eventually with a member from the congregation, and hopefully they start coming to Church, and once they do that, ideally they feel the want to be baptized.
Feel free to ask questions. AMA desu senpai
>>8244790
sounds so shitty
but not as shitty as doing all this because of a bible fanfic some fraudster wrote
>>8244718
so bad, it's good
I was mostly an awkward guy with barely any friends who enjoyed sleeping or drawing throughout most of his classes. People thought of me as a nice guy since im very polite and smile a lot, but they also thought i was a moron since my grades weren't the best and I barely attended class.
The more time that went by the more sickened i got at school, finally deciding to drop out. That didn't work out since my parents got pissed, and it ended up on me dropping out from a good school and ending up on a very shitty one.
The shitty school turned me into a weird lonely guy who people thought was smart but very hostile and secretive. I attended school even less than before and managed to leave early everyday by telling the administration i had to prepare a piano college entrance exam (which i did).
Overall it was complete utter shit.
I was a fat guy with a few close friends and a larger group of semi-friends. Our friend group was basically like 4 or 5 friend groups that all had some overlapping membership so we all hung out together. I became an alcoholic junior year but managed to get it back under control by senior year. My friends all smoked tons of weed but I didn't because my parents are super strict and would surprise drug test me and would have sent me to rehab if they found out I smoked once.
I listened to entry level jazz and read entry level books because that's what high school is for. I had sex once in high school. I was involved with the school newspaper for about two months before I quit (can't remember why). I joined the water polo team and got in slightly better shape. I formed tight friendships with three of my teachers and keep up correspondence with all of them (I graduated four years ago). I was a typical high school Marx retard. I think I was liked a little bit by everybody and liked a lot by a few people. I could be wrong. That's pretty much it.
>>8244783
I like to kill myself a lot in video games.
>>8244409
This. Minus the being attractive part. People had the impression I was a genius when I barely got through highschool with 70s. Looking back I probably should have been given some ADHD meds because I just sat there zoned out 90% of the time.
>>8244813
>joseph smith
>fraudster
says the neet who can't write a short story and get anyone to read it
try getting 15 million to read your book. that's what Joseph Smith managed
>>8244835
popularity is exactly what a good fraudster gets
>cf. L. Ron Hubbard
Like a lot of you it seems, I was the quiet loser dude too.
I took theater in junior year in the hopes that it would make me bolder or braver. It helped a little. I actually dated a girl in that class for a little bit but she dumped me.
I got picked on occasionally but I was never targeted.
All in all it could have been a lot worse.
I would have been "That loser who reads Plato for fun!" except I was also pretty funny so people generally liked me. I still felt completely alienated though.
>>8244379
I was fairly popular, did well with the ladies, and partied a little when the mood hit. When I grew bored in class, I would read ahead, usually finishing most of my textbooks in the first few weeks of the new school year. Socially, HS life carried over into college, but not so much after graduation. These days I'm a bit of a hermit who dates infrequently, but we're not talking about that.
>>8244895
Loser
>>8244811
How open were people generally to being proselytized? Were people generally aggressive or polite? I'd imagine few had the time to listen, but about how many people per week would be receptive to you?
>>8244648
do you enjoy rape?
>>8244980
Could I, by definition?
>>8244975
1-3 new investigators a week
>an investigator is someone that I taught, made a commitment to read the Book of Mormon, and if I had a specific return appoitnment
>>8244790
>wake up at 4pm
>slide out of bed
>oh god why I alive
>drive to work
>work 12 hours
>drive home
>fuck around for a couple hours
>sleep
>get woken up in the middle of the night
>fuck my life
>repeat
I was a delinquent I guess, missed something like 80 days my senior year but somehow squeaked by because all my teachers adored me. Didn't read much because I was busy getting wasted, though being wasted doesn't stop me from reading now so chances are I was just dumb. Also had a tendency for fooling around with low hanging fruit.
I was a depressed skater. not very many friends. edgy.
I had a photographic memory in HS, but I never did any work so my grades got lower every year.
The only reason I graduated high school is because I went to the library, found the biggest book I could find(The Stand) and the second biggest(don't remember) and aced the AR tests for both, earning twice as many points as I needed and bumping my F to a C. Surprised the shit out of my teacher because I practically slept through her class every day.
I had shit taste in lit, though.
>>8244379
I was a band kid, coasting through most of my AP classes and believing that good grades were indicative of knowledge.
I ignored my actual musical talent and went to college to study biology because I thought I was smart, when I was actually just good at taking tests
Now I'm a deadbeat college graduate driving buses for a living and consuming as much music and literature as I can before I eventually die
I was the guy you all wanted to be.
Remember him? Thought you would.
The chisseled jaw. The winning smile. Always something going on. Yep, that was me.
Never did like it when I started dating that one girl you liked but never talked to, did you?
Bet you always thought your "time would come" when I ended up with bad grades and you suddenly became this brilliant human being.
Didn't quite turn out that way, did it?
Hehe.
Well, kid, it never does y'know.
I'm a doctor now, you may have heard. Passed my final examination this June just passed. I'll be spending the summer in South-East Asia with my girlfriend. Oh no, not that girl. You thought I was still with her? No no, she was just one of the girls I had some "fun" with once in a while.
Hehe.
Anyway, I really have to get going. I have some scuba lessons booked.
I hope life worked out for you too!
>>8245115
I never wanted to be FtM, anon.
I used to torture animals but now I'm a normal businessman.
>>8245122
>i'm a girl btw ;D
>but don't hit on me silly boys :)
>>8245123
"I used to rape children but now I'm a normal Hollywood producer"
-Some Jew
>>8245127
But it's current year you misogynist bigot.
my friends and i were at this weird crossroads where we were on the outside of a lot of different social groups. we got invited to parties but werent friends with a lot of people there. i was the only one who played a varsity sport and despite my skill at hockey i could not fit the archetypal athlete mold and was kinda an outsider on the team. we were really into music and were friends with a land a lot of the "cool alt kids" and went to their shows and stuff but we were a little too normal for them. we were a very close knit group, closer than most high school boys are, and pushed each other to think more, which i think was really beneficial.
i read a lot of vonnegut, loved catcher in the rye, got into joyce and hemmingway as a junior, and started infinite jest the summer going into senior year, treating it like a long project
>>8245115
Why is copypasta so instantly recognizable even if you've never read it before?
>>8244718
Stop writing about me
I had a small circle of friends that I got mostly by accident. I spent most of my free time reading, writing, or drawing. My grades ranged from mediocre to above average, but nothing really standout besides reading and composition scores on state exams. Not a very high bar to get over considering how low the average was. I still let it go to my head though. I was an arrogant little shit. An edgy atheist, one of those "wrong generation" kids who thought he was better than his entire age group because he liked media from before he was born. Also thought myself worldly and informed because I watched the Daily Show.
Despite my overall mediocrity I somehow managed to maintain the delusion I was special, a genius in fact. It took a year in college to realize I was completely untalented and most definitely not a genius of any stripe. College was simultaneously the most liberating and most depressing time of my life for this reason.
>>8244835
>actually defending Mormonism
Hilarious meme
Robot stemtard, top 2% out of crazy competitive (ie, asian) high school, going to good school, ended up seeing 3 therapists for depression because I realized how boring and shitty being a lifeless stemtard was, started reading lit and art history because I thought it would help reclaim muh humanity, now doing cs so I can get a job and phil/lit so I can still say I got a real libarts education, still questioning my agency to this day. C'est la vie desu ne
I was just awake thinking this to an extent OP. Not necessarily exactly the sense of feeling lost you feel, but I was just thinking about how crazy life has been and how I've felt disconnected from the things I enjoy. I've never left the country, and want to get out of the states, but need more money. I've traveled all around the states, by car, bus, freight train, and hitching as a teen to early 20s and had some good times but also fell into the worst impacts of alcohol. It became less fun due to just partying myself the fuck out with booze. It was a routine. It wasn't fun anymore. I lost connection with writing, my creative side. Everything. I didn't even notice. long story short, i kind of stopped drinking all together after slowly just losing interest to be honest. I drank moderately a few times, felt like shit. I drank heavily, felt like shit. Alcohol just seemed to give me anxiety and have a shitty time for some reason since - it kind of became an acquired addiction considering i always liked feeling up not down. So i stopped and havent for years, but can enjoy and not get hooked on pretty much every other drug cept dope.
3-4 years later, I rolled the other night. It was so pure. I felt like my body, my mind, my soul was being cleansed and eased. I never experienced it like this heavily. I honestly felt like I needed it.. i've been through a lot. I opened up to myself and others for the first time in so long. I smoked weed, and closed my eyes as music played and thought about my life and everything I enjoy and how I need to reconnect with it, how i need to find the best self I can be and achieve that so I can feel content, happy, and live my life without regretting having not experienced as much as possible. So that's why I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. I have a plan, and I hope it works. Maybe If I finally leave and travel the world I'll feel lost at 28, but right now I just feel like I want to be places where I don't know anybody, places where I'm not completely familiar with every single inch of the city. Its hard getting things together, but I'll do anything to achieve this now.
>>8245203
Have you read Broom of the System?
I was really emo. My favourite authors were what you'd expect- (Poe and Lovecraft, plus some assorted sci-fi). I couldn't stand 90% of what we were forced to read for class, but looking back I'm glad I had to sit through that schlock so I didn't pigeonhole myself into reading ONLY the stuff I liked.
It was a pretty edgy time in my life and I try not to think about it.
I went to an all-boy Catholic school where the traditional cliques somewhat broke down. A different clique unique to this system was the "god squad", the group of super Catholic kids who went on every retreat, would read during Mass, try super hard in theology class, and so on. I was initially part of the god squad not because of any desire to fit in but because I found the Bible genuinely interesting. I excelled in the social sciences and was being pushed to join the seminary. I dreamed of becoming an apologist.
In my junior year my parents lost their jobs, got divorced, and everything went to shit. My grades fell, I missed a lot of school, and formed my own clique of the I-didn't-know-you-still-came-here kids. I still can't decide if I'm angrier at myself for trying to attribute the blame to my parents, thus absolving myself of responsibility, or at myself for being too weak to overcome whatever difficulties I was having at home.
>>8245212
I've heard it's a good undergrad thesis, but not spectacular philosophy... Will probably check it out though, thanks
Quiet socially anxious type, kinda blended in and didn't like attention. Appearance was normal, clean cut conservative as I didn't fall into trends. It was a Catholic boys school but I liked it and got on well enough with most of my peers, good camradery. Teachers liked me I guess because I was polite and liked to do well. Not into lit at that point, read very few books in general. Mostly non-fiction history stuff when I did. I read Roadside Picnic because I loved STALKER and felt patrician, I mostly consumed 4chan, anime and shitty comics. Had a few friends and a wider circle but still considered an oddball I suppose (which hurt me deeply)
>>8245216
4 years of college is really nothing compared to what some people go through. try and find your passion one way or another, maybe see what classes your university offers, if you can afford it i believe it is definitely worth finding something to fill that hole.
then again, maybe none of that will end up working for you. but the more you experience the closer you get to finding something. maybe it wont even be the classes you take but the experiences you have taking them that will lead you to something greater.
you just need more, more, more. im trying to find something to fill the void inside of me, it hurts to get out of bed and all i want to do is sleep, open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! open to door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! i had a deep conversation with my dad the other day, he told me pretty much what ive said here- you have to find it, WHAT you get and what gets you. he also told me to grow flowers in my heart.
theres's a lot of things to try, lifting, pressing flowers, making clothes, pharamacology.. anything. drawing hentai
i didnt read the thread so i dont know how old you are but my dad really didnt find what was his until his late 20s, if that. now he's making bank doing what he loves and what fills the void inside him.
unfortunately my mom got custody lol
Mostly German WWII memoirs. I thought of fiction as inaccurate and shitty litterature.
>>8245248
thanks for taking the time to respond. I'm in my 20s now and in university, but not exactly enthralled to be there either. what did your dad decide to do?
I did every drug and hung out with foreign exchange students. My high school was in the vicinity of a NATO base. My grades were excellent up until my senior year. After I did well on the SAT, I got burnt out. I spent most of high school locked up in my room for bad behavior so I'd read.
>tfw dropped out in middle school to read books in cafes and see movies
i used walk the four miles home because if i didn't spend my bus fare, i could buy a book a day, and if i didn't spend the money on the way into the city, i could get three cups of coffee.
if the truancy people hadn't ratted me out it would have been perfect.
I was fairly normal looking, and I had lots of friends whom I only considered a few to be close. Ran track and cross for four years and was mildly good. Mostly awkward around girls, but functioned enough to talk to them and not be autistic. Didnt have a gf. Read a little but never seriously. Took a bunch of honors classes and graduated top 20. Also didnt know what I wanted out of life. All in all, a really boring and typical teenager.
>>8244540
Did you go to school in a working class area?
Had a nice small group of friends and a lot of aquintances id talk to in class, wasn't exactly popular but wasnt an outcast or anything either. Had a few girlfriends here and there throughout the four years. Probably didnt leave much of an impact on people but who cares really.
didnt get into weed until the end of sophmore year
didnt get drunk for the first time until the middle of junior. Went to a few parties here and there but they werent really my thing being the introvert I am
highschool was pretty chill all around, good times, even the "popular" people were pretty nice I mean there were a few dicks here and there but they'd probably be dicks even if they werent popular because they just seemed like that kind of people
Teachers were mostly alright. One got arrested for propositioning a girl into some sex act I never really got the full story, never had a class by him though. My favorite teacher was one I had in sophmore year. She was this adorable petite late 20s chick that used to be a cheerleader, literally every guy in the class wanted to fuck her. So that's why I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. but she was a really nice caring teacher and person in general, really knew how to get stuff to click in your head if you werent understanding it.
Kinda ugly, but moderately intelligent and sarcastic so people either tolerate me or find me annoying, mostly the second. Had some hot girlfriends, but after a while they get on my nerves so I broke up with them. I don't think I've changed much, but am now slightly well known in my country so I mostly stay inside.
>>8244436
I was an overweight, poorly-dressed, mediocre student with terrible acne who tried to avoid as much attention as possible. I didn't attend class very often, participated in no extracurricular societies, and thought it was more important to watch Martin Scorsese movies than to do homework. I read occasionally, mostly just whatever was being covered in English class, but also Stephen King, Salinger, Vonnegut, GRRM, House of Leaves, the occasional Batman comic, and miscellaneous commercial fiction. I used to eat lunch in the bathroom and had very few friends. Falling asleep in class was very common. Teachers and fellow students either saw me as something of a failure or didn't notice my existence.
I honestly wouldn't be able to. When people signed my yearbook they would say I was the weirdest kid they knew. Which is completely supported by the fact that I was unaware of pretty much everything people brought up at the reunion as something that defined their HS experience. Talking about each other in such knowing ways. I realized I never actually got to know a single person that well that I could predict or reminisce about them. The surface level impressions I had (of everyone) melted into a fantasy wonderland.
So what was I? I was someone who was experiencing something completely different from all his peers. I'm not going to defend it, debase it, or glorify it in any way.
>>8245549
There's rather little in terms of character building, mostly "and then I did the same as the day before," just your usual debris floating down the river of time. I also engaged in imaginary relationships with several females. I feel that and the lack of dialogue would put off most people.
Actually who am I kidding. The one short story in Oblivion, where the kid imagines cartoons out of the wire meshes of the classroom window. That was me.
I attended an all girls highschool as a boy.
It was a very strange experience, since i had to wear the official school uniform, which ment i was confined to skirts, blouses and long socks. And it also ment i had wear my hair long and make-up, for the sake of feeling ridiculous in such attire and not being singled out in the sea of girls.
It was a very competitive school, but because of my academic and musical talent i really stood out, and younger girls looked up to me as a role model to follow. My beauty also stood out, even when dressed in feminine attire, to the point were i gathered a lot of enemies born out of jealousy, yet so many girls idolized me, and that made anyone who dared touch me afraid and not capable of more than sly gossip.
Now i study Electrical Engineering at Harvard, and am currently minoring in Philosophy, Art, and pertain to Harvard's Royal Orchestra as a violinist.
I consider myself superior to all. Although i don't like to boast.
>>8245721
>I consider myself superior to all. Although i don't like to boast.
all girl school will do that you bruv, i wouldn't worry about it
>>8245721
Is this just like a sexual fantasy for you or why did you write this?
>>8244379
I was best in Biology and Economics.
I've been accepted, but not liked and I returned the ambivalence. I was not part of any clique although i hanged out a bit with the punks and goths (while dressing nothing like them).
I dodged invites to parties until I was not invited anymore. My romantic interests rejected me.
I read books on philosophy and ancient cultures as well as some genre fiction.
It was all the same at university with the difference that my taste in books improved and I found a gf. The relationship lasted 3 years. At work it's all the same again.
I've never connected to anyone except that girl. It affects me a bit, but not so much. What shakes me more is knowing that I'll never write a good book myself.
>>8245385
I'm not even sure if it counts as working class, since few people seem to even have jobs. Median household income is $28,000, Bachelors degree holders at 12%, only 69% have finished high school. Racial makeup is about 1/3 each of black, hispanic and white. Has about double the average US crime index rate.
But yeah, it's a poor town with low pay and few opportunities. It's not really a wonder why everyone is on drugs. I wish I could go back and do something there--one of my classmates actually ran for mayor a while back, but he lost to a guy who runs a local restaurant. They voted for a guy who runs a restaurant over the guy who won multiple national debate championships, went to a top 10 university, had a graduate degree in politics. I don't even know if he could have done much as mayor, but even just having a relatively intelligent figurehead could have done something good for the town.
>>8245829
That probably wasn't the right info to drop for "working class" definition. Here:
>men's most common occupations:
Construction and extraction occupations (13%)
Production occupations (11%)
Material moving occupations (9%)
Building and grounds cleaning and maintenance occupations (8%)
Management occupations (7%)
Office and administrative support occupations (7%)
Sales and related occupations (6%)
>women's most common occupations:
Office and administrative support occupations (15%)
Healthcare support occupations (12%)
Food preparation and serving related occupations (12%)
Sales and related occupations (9%)
Education, training, and library occupations (8%)
Personal care and service occupations (8%)
Business and financial operations occupations (6%)
Personally, my dad was a factory worker and my mom worked in a body shop.
>>8244379
the weird guy who had a messed up family situation no one knew about and was secretly depressed but tried his best to hide it until he couldn't and failed nearly all of his classes in senior year
>>8244379
I was a STEM nerd my first 2 or so years because I had old childhood friends that were into engineering, compsci. Joined the school FIRST Robotics team where I learned that the STEM path was not for me. Junior year all of these friends left to take college classes full time in a dual-enrollment program. That year I took AP English Language, a program that was very strong at my school. My teacher was amazing and really taught me how to analyze texts, criticize them, compare them, etc. This is when I learned to love literature. I also participated in sports more for recreation than anything. Did XC, swim, and track.
I hung out with all the smart kids that ended up going to Ivies except for me because my grades were only mediocre. I'd checked out way back in middle school. Wouldn't pay attention in class cuz I was reading Heidegger instead. Started a student activist group, but we weren't dirty hippy types, I recruited the smart kids because I knew they wanted something they could put on their college resume and actually accomplished things that made the schools better. (Which prefigured my life later on.) Teachers hated me for the most part, and I hated them. I was straight-laced, converted to Catholicism at some point.
Friendless, socially inept, quiet voice that would change pitch/tone depending on people around, trust issues and fear of abandonment, couldn't say no to anything, never fat and intense fear of becoming fat because I fucking hated fat people, low self esteem and worth, constant suicidal thoughts, 3.45 gpa, poor family within inner city LA, hated whiners with a passion so never whined about my problems irl, intense fear of people hating/disliking me so kept to myself and said few words so I could stay neutral with everyone or some autistic shit
I only got into lit senior year when I took that shitty ap english literature class
>>8244518
>>8245521
This is essentially my life at the moment. I feel for you mate.
>>8244379
i was athletic and played two sports but i was also pretty shy and hung out with the hipster types. i had few genuine friends but everyone else liked me well enough, even the more popular people, so that was alright.
my school had a strict uniform policy but i wore pretty normal clothing outside of school. plain polos, button-ups, jeans, khakis, etc. i kept my hair super short, in a fade.
academically, i was a good student but not the best. i did well in all of my classes and took ap physics in my junior year.
i wasn't really interested in literature back then. i read all of hemingway's work after we read two of his books and found them enjoyable, but that's it. it wasn't until college that i started reading a lot.
freshman year i moved from chicago to a suburb and had no friends. first semester was horrible, i hung out with no one, sat alone, and took the bus to school. somehow i persevered and by second semester i ended up becoming best friends with a chad swimmer since we'd gone from having a couple classes together to almost all of them, and since it was my first year where no one knew that i used to be fat and wear glasses i realized that i was attractive. i probably spoke to more girls then than i ever do now.
summer came though and i became a proto-neet, cutting off contact with everyone. eventually my friends from chicago pull me out of neetdom bc they force me to be in a quince. i get paired up with a girl who also goes to my school but she's about to be a senior. i go crazy for this girl and when sophomore year comes around, first semester i spend all my time with her, orbiting her i guess, but i also end up going to senior hangouts. basically i stop seeing all my old friends though. eventually she gets back together with her ex and i enter fml mode. i start acting out, drinking, doing drugs, teenager stuff. i get in a fight with someone while drinking and a friend from school tells me i should join the wrestling team. i do it and by the end of second semester, i'm over the girl, i'm fit af, and have a brand new circle of friends.
summer comes, go into neet mode again. i do absolutely nothing. jr year i've started smoking weed a lot and really don't care about working out or wrestling anymore. i listen to a lot of obscure music that i've started to find on pitchfork circa 2007. i guess this is when i also started realizing i liked reading. my english teacher from jr to senior year would be the same guy and we bonded pretty well. i'd rec him music and he would rec me books. i started hanging out with more musicians and stoners and felt like i really no longer cared about what others thought of me. i guess sure of myself and comfortable in my environment.
the next summer and school year though are filled with crises that i won't get into. so i guess basically i went from outsider loser, to normie, to degenerate, to jock, to a proto-hipster.
>>8244379
i initially was kind of a normie/sperg, with a good number of distant friends, later i turned into a respected senpai, with a good number of close friends and many acquaintances. always got excellent grades and was regarded as one of the smartest in my school. participated in tons of EC's, track team captain, band secretary, lead in school play etc.
didn't really have an interest in lit outside of certain niche books. cared mostly about left-wing politics and consciousness expansion. i still do to a degree, my favorite books aren't in /lit/s canon.
I was a quiet nerd. As my high school DM said to me after a session while talking about some kind of school 'drama': "Nobody really dislikes you, huh Anon? You just kinda get along."
I think that was kind of intentional. I had almost no friends in my old school, but post-middle school I was confident that I could make some actual friends once I was surrounded by new people. I made an effort to be as friendly as possible to everyone. Mostly, though, I ate lunch with the nerds. It was a cool lunch table of people, but I didn't interact with them much outside of school. It was around this time that I got into 4chan and anime, maybe a little before high school.
As I already mentioned I also started playing D&D at this time, which was honestly thrilling. I'd formed an idea of myself as a nerd, and since D&D fit that image I was excited at the chance to play. It was also an opportunity to get myself out of the house and socialize(!!!), which I sorely needed.
It was an all-boys Catholic high school, so I didn't meet any girls. I didn't go to any parties or anything, so women were basically unknown to me except for my first date with a girl, who I met at the FLGS that opened in my area junior year. It turned out she was gay, though, so nothing came of it, not even another date or a kiss. I remember spending the night of senior homecoming playing D&D.
People tended to think of me as an honors kid even though it wasn't really true. I just give that impression, I guess. I kept getting placed in the "honors track" because it was a small school and I did well in most subjects, but the math classes always kicked my ass. I had an interest in English before then, because back in elementary school my parents and teachers said I was really good at it. It seemed to come naturally to me, and I remember always being frustrated that other students would pause at the end of each line instead of at the end of each sentence. Once it became clear in high school that becoming average at math would take a significant effort, I decided to focus my efforts on the humanities. I didn't try very hard in school, so my GPA was almost always crap, but I tried not to worry about it too much (and when I had to, for college applications, I learned what "panic attacks" felt like. I'd always thought they were bullshit before then).
The last English teacher I had there was and is an actual genius. He was a short, fat, balding Italian man with an exhaustive knowledge of film and literature. We must have covered hundreds of works in the two years I had him. I kept all the notes. He also headed the school newspaper and lit mag, which were populated by a cadre of students who all had nice haircuts, smoked weed, wore boat shoes with colorful socks, and were generally pretty preppy. I always kinda wanted to join their ranks, but I figured I wouldn't fit in anyway. Oh well.
>>8244718
You stole that from Neil Gaiman.
>>8244379
Valedictorians aren't '''''''patrician'''''', they're people that spend all their waking hours studying.
Popular class-clown who teachers referred to as "too smart for his own good." Unfortunately, my yearbook superlative was "most likely to stand in a pair of Ferragamo's." Yikes.
>>8246375
I agree with you for the most part. People who are genuinely intelligent don't usually find themselves solely pursuing academic success (especially considering relatively favorable performances are achieved anyway with minimal effort). However, there are certain people, one of whom graduated a grade above me at my highschool, whose incredibly retentive memories allow them to put in virtually little work and still earn them a valedictorian's GPA. Some people are in fact that smart.
>>8244379
I was on my school's policy debate team :^)
>>8246395
Memory isn't intelligence
I was edgy and thought that being cynical and detached from social issues was cool, mostly thanks to my own ignorance. It didn't help that my friends were kind of faggots in one aspect or another. I was also very socially-awkward and insecure, and hated strangers on the street that looked at me, feeling like they were laughing at me all the time. I was also disrespectful to my mother, and she'd hit me sometimes. Basically Tomoko from WataMote.
I didn't like linguistics or history until the last years of HS, although I loved to read. I didn't play many videogames, but the few I played, I'd play obsessively. Since I wasn't good at socializing, I also spent a lot of time befriending some stranger online and chatting with them all the time.
At some point I started craving more literature and history, and I also improved my English by a lot thanks to a good teacher that had started working recently and practically dedicating most of my free time to listening American music. Our English teachers were always shit and couldn't motivate my class of delinquential cunts to learn anything.
In the national entrance exam for university, I got the highest score in the languages and literature test of my school's generation. This is quite something, since I didn't like the linguistics class for many years because the teacher didn't even try and it was unbearingly boring, pretty much like the English ones.
Tagalong who wansn't respected in my group of friend.
Only true friend was a stoner
Had a few chances to get a gf. Didn't take them.
Browsed 4chan a lot
Was funny but not likeable. I was like the comic relief character in a sitcom that was never fully developed.
>>8244542
Yes. I have one textdocument for litpastas and one for mupastas.
Hung out with the group of rejects. Most of the others were less aware than me of their reject status, due to being less anxious and/or thoughtful. Still hang out with them, can't really have deep conversations but they're decent people and easy to get along with.
Senior year, I became close with a member of the group who is severely mentally ill and a pathological liar, mostly because he was the only one with whom I shared interests and could have intelligent discussions. I try to do what I can to help him without getting fucked over by his sociopathic disregard for other people.
Had one girlfriend, the only girl I've ever kissed (never had sex with her, for complicated reasons). She has/had HPD, which was the only reason she showed interest in me - I was an easy source of attention. I was dumb and horny and pursued sex despite her obvious fragility (not being feminist btw, would've been the situation if I was gay and with a guy who had issues). I feel a lot of guilt and regret about this, but not too much because I know that despite her sweet nature she's probably not all that good of a person deep down.
As for the normal kids, they disliked me because I was awkward and confrontational and didn't respect the teachers.
Took a creative writing class, which solidified my belief that writing is best done alone, for oneself.
Some fat introverted nerd who played video games but wasn't an autist or social retard. As such, people generally had a neutral or positive opinion of me because I helped them with their homework, didn't sperg all over the place (like most of the nerds, aka my friends,) and had a decent sense of humor. Graduated top 10 and got voted most likely to succeed. I probably could've been salutatorian if I'd tried hard but I don't think I studied more than 10 hours total my entire elementary/high school career. Would never have beat our valedictorian though, she was the next level up from me in smarts and had motivation in spades.
Also I didn't start reading for fun until senior year cuz books r 4 gays amirite.
>>8244983
It's possible to enjoy something but still not want it done to you, so yes.
>>8244648
Since nothing seemed to come out of that, I'll step up and be your bf.
>>8246280
what are your favorite books?
didn't believe in grades and failed a lot of required courses
got in a lot of trouble for truancy and disruption
absurdly strong standardized test scores in my file gave me a somewhat infinite leash with teachers and my dean
Had good friends freshman year, halfway through sophomore year I moved hundreds of miles away, lost all my friends and for two and a half years never made a single friend.
Worst time of my life, still recovering. Never dated, never kissed a girl, slid by getting A's while thinking about suicide in class. Would usually not eat lunch and often no breakfast and I would spend as much time in the library as possible.
Obnoxious vidya and animu nerd that made everyone laugh but that no one liked. Had obsessive oneitis with a girl that creeped most people out. I was that guy that brought his guitar to school. Didn't get into literature until college.
>>8246797
Damn, that's unfortunate anon, sorry to hear it. I feel very lucky that my family has always stayed in the same place, that's exactly what would've happened to me in that situation.
>>8245335
>Marriage before 25
AAAHHHH
>>8246761
Tips fedora
S-sorry, It's been ten years but that's simply not long enough.
The memories are too fresh.
>>8244511
We need a drawfag for Punished Katie.
>>8246825
maybe if I'd gotten expelled
I was a liminal creature, belonging nowhere and with no-one but mingling with most (as needed). I think people liked me, I was funny. But I disliked everyone, they made me nervous. I dropped out eventually disaffected with life itself and too ready to believe the grandiose nothings I read.Not much has changed.
>>8246761
a living cliche has come among us
you sound like a failed attention whore
I was valedictorian. I read Plato and listened to /mu/core
>>8247011
it's just the truth. I went to a massive school where I was free to fuck off and write in my journal for entire classes at a time relatively unnoticed or unbothered. High school was not my prime.
>>8244379
Near the top of the class, hated everyone and was a dick to people, but did my work well and befriended teachers. I didn't know what tact was then, so I had a lot of enemies, but I remain good friends with the few friends I had. I thought I was smart, I was well-read, but I was afraid of women and instead spent time playing video games when I wasn't reading books. The only thing that prevented me from being a loser was that I look decent at the very least, and I was pretty smart. I was already reading Dostoevsky, Hemingway, Steinbeck by that time.
>>8244475
west coast to east coast or vice versa?
>>8245721
incredible
I was in AP English, but spark noted half of the books I was supposed to read. Looking back on it, I wish I would have actually read all of those books when I was supposed to. Plus I really liked my English teacher. She was one of the few that actually put in effort to make sure the students were actually learning the material and not just passing the standardized test of the year.
for most f highschool i was a dumb depressed cynic who thought everything was pointless and everyone but me was disingenuous. needless to say i didn't have very many friends.
i identified myself with right wing conservatism because i hated everyone in my school which was made up of dumbass liberals and because i was both involuntarily celibate and involuntarily straight edge, so i had a reason to look down on people for achieving things i hadn't. i also hated poor people despite never working a day in my life. go figure.
i was a bad student, i thought the arts especially reading were "gay" and i spent most of my time playing fps games i barely enjoyed and hanging around parking lots and alley ways committing whatever acts of childish vandalism i could
i was really a pathetic twerp and it's not been an easy recovery. i started reading about halfway through highschool though and i would say it was literature as much as anything that set me on a better track
sad to look back on the days gone to waste, though.
I'm very attractive and very introverted. I received a lot of attention for the former, and it was a nightmare because of the latter.
I would stay up all night to have some time alone where I could be myself, but the lack of sleep just made me even cagier.
People were very pleasant and understanding, but for whatever reason I came to dislike anyone who liked me in some sort of complicated display of self-loathing.
I was a bit snarky but not precisely rude, so I did make some friends in my classes but I never socialized outside of school.
First year I pretended to be as generic as possible so people would think I was boring and leave me alone.
Second year I stopped caring as much, and would just read and draw in class, which caused me to start failing all of my courses.
My lack of sleep stopped me from being able to concentrate on my drawings, so I started taking Adderall.
Oddly, it actually helped a lot, at least for a while. It made me more outgoing and talkative, and closer to the person I had always wanted to be. I still didn't socialize much outside of school because of the comedown, but it was a start.
I would dash around the school, in hindsight, a bit like Sherlock from the BBC series. I would go on adventures to steal overhead projectors and play pranks. It was pretty silly.
Eventually the lack of sleep and nutrition, paired with too much adderall and caffeine, got to me, and in a stroke of eminent genius, I chose to simply stop taking it cold turkey.
I went into withdraw. Slept through classes, snapped at anyone who tried to talk to me, and systematically alienated everyone I knew in attempt to graduate completely forgotten - hoping that everyone would forget I existed.
And I succeeded.
>>8247157
Re-read the op.
I was probably the biggest fish in my small pound. Captain of the Football and Basketball team. Prom king. Great grades. Dated one of the best looking girls all the way through school. It wasn't until I got into college and got carried away with being young until my life fell apart.
Just like any other unpopular guy in Finland. I was left alone, when it was needed. Had some school buddies here and there but they were all uninteresting assholes in my book. I never followed any trend or whatsoever. I lost many of my friends, but succeeded finding a total bro on the second day of high school, with whom I still hang out now over a year after graduating.
Sometimes I rebelled against fashion wearing a damn ugly shirt (picture releated). Overall I dressed in clothes I liked.
I developed a great interest in walking around the city and long-distance bicycling by the time. I read some books every now and then, but my passion has always been music (only listening in my case).
>>8247165
While I do sympathize with the paradoxical annoyance you must have gone through in being very attractive yet being too introverted to capitalize on it, this is still 'champagne problems: the post'.
I was one of the mid-upper rankers on the social scale. Accepted by the cool kids, and looked up to by the boffins.
Got to bully a few fellas as well. Good times.
I only became /lit/ after secondary school.
>>8247348
true patrician
>>8247350
Tb.h mate I was more of an Equestrian but I appreciate the facetious compliment
>>8244638
>communist
Disgusting
I was a big guy.
I was a misunderstood and disenfranchised genius, of course.
>>8244835
Love how you dont acknowledge that he was a fraudster whos religion shouldve died with him
>>8244597
Just checked her tumblr. Holy shit this is real it may corroborate the previous reply by her supposedly
>>8244409
tfw I am still like this, the only difference is that it isn't just limited to school now.
>>8245203
How's your life now?
>>8244511
I, for one, welcome our new overlord
>>8244379
Christian, really involved with my church youth group but not the school Christian activities like FCA. Nerdy, but not popular with the "cool nerds." Shy. Mainly programmed my calculator or played cards at lunch. Studious with a high GPA but didn't really have a specialty subject (they were all relatively the same in difficulty and interest to me). Played a lot of video games (PC and N64). Had a small circle of friends with whom I was close. Awkward around women - almost to the point of being asexual. I was a straightedger (no porn, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs) although I wouldn't have known the term for it. I was incredibly naive about the world and still had a lot of growing up to do. I suppose I was happy but I pretty much just went along with whatever other people said I should do.
>>8247850
Oh, literature wise I was into Lord of the Rings and wrote a few short prose things in my notebook that I never really showed anybody. I liked The Great Gatsby, Grendel, and Dante's Inferno when we read them in class.
>>8245408
is this thomas pynchon
>>8244379
I was pretty edgy and liked shitty metal bands.
Was also quite obnoxious.
I grew out of it, thankfuly, have lots of friends now so they either got used to me or my obnoxious level got lower.
I had an anime phase, for about a year and a half untill I finished highschool more or less. I still like some of them, but it's sort of difficult to find something good.
Also, gaming and miniatures, Warhammer 40k and Warmachine. Still paint them, it's extremely relaxing and I get to hang with my brothers who also paint.
Played a lot of board games, still would if I had time.
Read the school assignments, without skipping any, so 6 or so books per year and at 17 started getting into reading for myself, started with Martin, Poe and Lovecraft, the usual edgy shit.
Later on, while I was finishing school, a month before the end I discovered Gene Wolfe and Dostoevsky, who are still amongst my favourite authors. I also became a Catholic. Since there is a natural connection between it and philosphy, I started reading it too, now about half of my books are either philosophy or theology.
Now I like different kinds of music, so shitty metal like Drudkh, Batushka and Chelsea Wolfe and classical stuff, Tsaykovsky (don't know how to spell it in english), Wagner and Bach. Also, a lot of gregorian chant and Hildegard von Bingen.
Underachieving borderline autistic fat kid
The one black kid in all AP/honors. I grew up in a upper upper middle-class suburb but my parents were working class teachers in a small town 40 minutes south. I moved a lot growing up so I learned how to make friends quickly. I had a friend in pretty much every social circle which meant I was never alone for too long. Looking back I think high school was great minus the suicidal thoughts.
"That guy" who did weird shit to get laughs but got hostile to people who tried to get close.
Dropped out in 10th grade and more or less found my own way from there.
In college with a minimal social life still, but I can pass as normie if I'm in the acting mood. Marketing is my major but I really just want to go monkmode and write
>>8246424
Yeah but guess what, understanding makes recall effortless.
i lost the perfect /lit/ waifu in junior year and got all emo and shit for like 10 years. fuck me
>wittcher 3 referenced Aquinas for whatever reason
Triggered
I was a socially anxious, neurotic kid who was really into existentialism and shit (super edgy, I know). I also would read "Naked Lunch" in class and leave it on my desk where my Literature teacher would see it so that I could get into arguments with him about how it's a work of genius.
Surprisingly, I had a lot of friends and most people in my class liked me, but as a socially anxious wreck, I always assumed everyone hated me. People thought I was kind of weird but they actually seemed to appreciate that.
>>8244483
are you me?
>>8244444
Does lit have these
![2016-05-25_20.56.36[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dYowDPG.jpg "2016-05-25_20.56.36[1].jpg")
I was good at everything (except P.E. lol). Somehow got good grades despite drawing all the time in lessons. Like.. I wouldn't stop. I took almost any opportunity to mess around rather than work. Never skipped school though. Well, I did skive a fair bit but only as much as I thought I'd get away with.
Smoked weed since I was 14. I was quite flaky with homework, especially in lower 6th (16-17). Teachers rarely thought I was putting in enough effort.
I was the best at English, violin, physics, maybe 2nd or 3rd at maths cos of algebraic mistakes. Algebra is still a weakness of mine. (subjects are w.r.t. year, violin is w.r.t. school).
Man I have to put this quote in cos ego: "Quite often * shocks me with how exquisite and grammatically advanced her writing is."
I was kind of a rebel but cried when teachers had a go at me.. I think I grew out of that. Thereabouts.
For my art GCSE my examined piece was about Ted Bundy. (I was obsessed with psychopaths at the time). Probs freaked my teacher out a bit. Physics teacher liked it though. He said I'm the most interesting person he's met. In class. I also asked my physics teachers questions they couldn't answer and corrected their physics sometimes. Felt as if the rest would resent me for it but I was fairly well-liked despite being a bit of a loner. I did have some friends but didn't see them outside of school. I never went to parties. At around 14-15 I hated myself.. and my parents for being so useless at handling my emotional state. I started hanging out with townies and that's how I got into weed etc.
In 6th form (16-18) I smoked weed a lot. I didn't hide this from my classmates cos I thought it might improve my normality-rating.
Had a "genius"/"artist" rep. .didn't know what to feel about it. Kind alienated me. Kids would often ask me to draw them. Didn't stop me from being insecure either.
For some reason I changed my ambitions from art college to english to physics degree and somehow got into oxford despite not preparing for the admissions test or having stellar GCSEs. Now I've just recovered(ish) from the depression/extended existential crisis, or whatever, that made my first year of university a fucking nightmare. Last week I was motivated and now I seem to have lost sight of my goals again and I'm not sure wtf I'm doing. Go me.
>>8244509
literally me except I joined the swim team instead of cross country
>>8248750
>le good at everything prodigy of not trying
>le insecure introvert of let me list all these excellent qualities about my-self
>le innecessary attentionwhore stagelight quote of egostroke
>le rebel without a cause of wantings to be scolded
>le high praise of british teacher topkek
>le self-loathing of blaming my parents for me turning out to be a piece of shit
>le freaky interest in psychopaths of nobody loves me please give me attention please anybody
>le shallow artsy cunt of frigid vanity
Damn, the British sure have cold chests. Your next goal should be hanging yourself to match.
>>8248750
they were probably asking you to draw them as a way of mocking you. That's what kids at my school would do to the weirdos. Like there was this one kid who called himself sniper fox and played airsoft and tried to rap all the time, so everyone at school badgered him to rap for them so they could laugh
I started infrequently frequenting /lit/ seven years ago (holy fuck) when I was a freshman in high school, so I was reading introductory memetier stuff like Portrait and Lot 49. I'd just moved to the area and decided to go full clownmode, would entertain the entire class with pranks, jokes, shenanigans, etc. I had lots of friends. I was oblivious to the advances of people who, looking back, like, totally wanted to fuck. Some Spergotron 9000 a few grades below me was gonna shoot up the school but I stumbled upon his private tumblr glorifying the Columbine shooters among other things and emailed the administration as a "concerned parent" (he later confessed to wanting to shoot up the school; his dad had guns, it would have probably happened) and got him arrested and comitted. It was aight.
>>8248916
>le good at everything prodigy of not trying
I'm good at things I'm interested in.
>le insecure introvert of let me list all these excellent qualities about my-self
I am an insecure introvert with some good qualities. According to other people.
>le innecessary attentionwhore stagelight quote of egostroke
It was from year 9, don't be paralysed your spasms of jealousy.
>le rebel without a cause of wantings to be scolded
?
Usually it was to do with homework. When I got scolded I'd become convinced that I'd always let myself down and die a failure.
>le high praise of british teacher topkek
??
>le self-loathing of blaming my parents for me turning out to be a piece of shit
Erm, no...
>le freaky interest in psychopaths of nobody loves me please give me attention please anybody
It was a genuine obsession and I'm not proud of it; I mentioned it because it's true. It wasn't edgy, it was a piece about his last interview.
>le shallow artsy cunt of frigid vanity
Wow. Why are you so bitter?
>>8248930
I was never a braggart. Also yes I did feel as if many things people said to me were subtle jibes. But I was also never sure if that was paranoia or what so I awkwardly ignored my thoughts.
Seriously, you people are too judgemental. I think you'd be a bit less harsh on yourselves if you stopped jumping to conclusions about others. I know, I'm guilty of the same. Fucking 4chan.
>>8244379
>talk about yourself
>+220 replies
Bunch of basic bitches.
>>8249030
I am aware of this. But everyone on /lit/ is insecure and lonely- fancy that??
>>8249024
Be my girlfriend
>Wow. Why are you so bitter?
I'mtsundere
>>8249061
you'll have to try harder than that
>>8249208
How harder
>>8249339
as hard as my dick ;^)
hey bb message me my steam is jikavak
>>8244727
He probably couldn't live in it if he bought it because of zoning laws.
>>8248522
exactly me but in my second year
I'm never going to find real love again LOL
>>8249351
>Bulgaria
>>8249719
am behind 10 000 proxies
9th: nerd who got along with many people. best year of my life. great teachers
10th: stopped showering. became a degenerate fuck. masturbated regularly. smiled rarely. ugly girl in class liked me, which irritated me since i had very high standards.
11th: had a shot at a hot girl, but blew it up. spend the rest of high school ( and a few years after) thinking about that mistake and beating myself up over it. classes were okay. showered regularly again. rarely went outside.
12th: made one new friend. depressed about graduating. never went outside. my old friends left me. thought about suicide many times. i'm ashamed to admit i even thought about killing this girl in my pre-med class for teasing me. looking back, she might have been flirting with me but i'm literally autistic so it's hard for me to tell the difference.
i spent most of my time indoors, vidya or reading. sometimes a movie.
ITT: Proof that /lit/ is the most narcissistic board.
>>8249760
not denying my own narcissism but at least 3/4 of this board is discussing the literary arts whereas /soc/ and /fa/ are entire boards actually devoted TO narcissism, so
>>8244379
> Were you the patrician valedictorian, or maybe a degenerate dropout?
I don't know whether it's my crippled self esteem or actually true but I always felt like I was one of those retarded high school kids with no friends what so ever. Not the edgy kind, the kind of person people sympathize with simply on the basis of feeling lucky that they didn't end up with genetically inferior material like me. I was "sick" most of the time (about 80%) and while I actually finished the written final exams with a relatively okay score I dropped out since I wasn't allowed to take the final oral exams (because of me missing too much classes). I played a lot of vidya at that time, way too much. Luckily the German education system is forgiving so I can still study Philosophy, Literature and Maths at Uni even though I basically loose 2 years of my live (internship). I'm done with the first first half of those 2 years and during that time I discovered Philosophy and Literature, partially with the help of you guys, so, thanks for that! Currently I'm in the process of giving up vidya completely, not really because I feel I need to, it just happens. During my time in the german equivalent of high school I wasn't really depressed or anything, I just felt apathetic towards most things, the only things I cared about were of a nature that granted me immediate pleasure (vidya), it felt like I was in my own little bubble all the time. I haven't really processed everything that happened in the last few years completely but I feel like I'm becoming a better person. I don't know why I told you this, maybe some of you feel or felt the same way. It gets better.
>>8249750
this is a bit similar to my HS days. i.e., on the track for success during ninth grade, 10th&11th grade me suffered from crippling depression, which i only got over the first half of 12th when i got much more into philosophy, music, lit, whatev
>>8244379
The kid who read a lot of high level books to put myself above the people who got good grades, and never talked unless it was some vague underdeveloped philosophical idea. Also never showed up and did drugs but managed to pass AP exams with scores better than the kids who came to school, like when I got a 4 on the ap language exam after withdrawing from school halfway thru the yr and not showing up half the time before I withdrew. It confused people because I was a druggie loser who hung out with thugs just to do something different, but actually had a higher mental capacity than all of them.
>>8244379
I was a bit of a try hard cool kid who wasn't as cool as they though they were. Interest in lit resumed from teenage period in early twenties, now am V cool.
>>8249822
you seem to have been fine with being eccentric before from your description of yourself, why not let everyone see you in your resplendent weird glory?
>>8249788
You mean 1/4. 3/4 of this board are making memes, posting bookshelves, and making threads about booktubers/Elliot Rodge
>>8244379
>Will be 19 in a month
>Still 2 years left for me to go to Uni
>Had to repeat three different grades
>Started reading tons of Lovecraft, which til this date I'm not ashamed of despite what everyone says
>Started expanding my literary views into my country classics, greek stuff, etc...
>Lost the ability to care about anything when I realize that I should be in my second year of Uni right now
>mfw
>>8244379
I played basketball and was pretty good, too bad I didn't know about DFW so I could've the 2nd coming.
Only books I read was half of Catch 22, half of A Farewell to Arms, and all of The Color Purple. First two years I was a fat nerdy class clown, who didn't want to do anything but become popular, last two years I was a douchebag, athletic, class clown who feels like he wasted his time and lost my self-respect for finally becoming popular. Now I ignore all my old friends so I can sit on my computer all day and become a patrician by mu, lit, and tv standards.
>>8250095
lovecraft, epic!!!!!
>>8250067
>I was smarter than everybody, I just never did anything smart
t. every dumb person ever
>>8250099
> become a patrician by mu, lit, and tv standards.
Same here, I'm a mu patrician and maybe in a few months I'll also be a lit patrician. I've no Idea about tv. Any recs?
>>8250100
At first I read it like
"Lol, Cthulhu is so cool. Elder gods, YAS"
Then It started to be like
"This is getting boring, there are no aliens or strange creatures in this one"
And then I stopped reading. Got trough some dark places. Came back.
"Wow... STILL NO ALIENS AND SHIT"
No but seriously, Lovecraft has a deeper meaning that everyone thinks. Just the way he is able to describe, memes aside, what can literally not be described amazes me, he almost broke human logic and conception and tried to understand what we will never understand. Also his fantasy is amazing if you are into that kind of stuff, It's just a shame that everyone sticks to either "Lovecraft so kuwl, Cthulhu, LOL, hahaha" or "Lovecraft is purple prose for teens"
There is truly beautiful stories in Lovecrafts work so please, consider giving him a true honest go sometime, you will be surprised.
>>8250110
I got outstanding test scores, I was just reserved and spent my time reading and doing acid so I didn't get good grades or do my assignments. Smart is a very relative term and can be measured in many different ways so I will just say I was more well read, but socially retarded.
>>8250113
Hey man, Zizek here. Watch "they live".
