Booktuber Sasha Alsberg has written a book called ZENITH it's the first installment in The Androma Saga.
Here's a sample:
Thirty-six days of endless darkness.
It surrounded Valen Cortas in cell 377, twisting and turning itself into his bones until he and the darkness had become one.
His thoughts had long since stopped running wild with every groan and creak of the prison walls. A thinning blanket, his only companion, was wrapped tightly around his shoulders, though it didn't block out the cold kiss of air that snuck through the threads.
I am Valen Cortas. He rolled the words over and over in his mind. It was the only thing that kept him going, and it leashed a sharp coil of courage around his veins as he added, Vengeance will be mine.
This is actual dogshit.
>>8241211
Let it go.
![desert_sage_080308[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qU9YSIz.jpg "desert_sage_080308[1].jpg")
>>8241211
>This is actual dogshit.
wait...
then why make a thread about it?
>>8241235
cyberbullying is fun
Women are sad because they're so terrible but they don't know it, and the whole society pretends it's not the case except for a few fringe lunatics who only see the truth because their lives suck or they have personality disorders
Imagine writing something like and people telling you it's good, because you're a chick and the rules of actual reality don't apply to you. It's just a free-for-all. Go scream about your vagina into a microphone and people will say you're a hero on par with Martin Luther King. Just do literally whatever you want, and the feedback will be 99% "You go, girl! Woo!" and 1% crazy evil misogynists who only dislike it because they're EVIL and CRAZY!
Imagine living your whole life like that. If everything you ever did got you praised like a small child with fragile feelings. If random strangers treated you like your doting daddy when you were five.
>>8241211
It's a new york times best seller and it's 62 pages.
Hope to see more under 100 pages best sellers in the future that i can read inbetween game of thrones episodes.
>>8241211
This reads like a first draft.
Editing would make this better and improve the flow. Not as bad as you seem to make out...bar the vengeance part.
>>8241252Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha
>>8241269
I actually welcome a trend towards shorter books, the fewer pages bad authors write the better.
>>8241211
OP, delete this thread and leave this board.
I'm honestly ashamed that I share a board with you.
Don't come back.
>>8241211
woah this is a thread that I would make. but I didn't make this thread. who ever made this you are a good man. let's be friends.
>>8241393
>makes it a 'saga' before she's even hit 100 pages
weewwwwwww lass
>>8241211
Her face looks weird so at least no one will be talking about how much they want to cum down her throat or have her use them as a tampon like they did with Katie.
>>8241472
That and she "cowrote" something that 68 pages. What the actual fuck?
>>8241524
I want to cum on her trashy books to bring down the market value
>Thirty-six days of endless darkness.
Not an effective "hook" for the reader, at least on its own.
>It surrounded Valen Cortas in cell 377, twisting and turning itself into his bones until he and the darkness had become one.
Combine this sentence with the one that came before it. They'd sound better combined. "Thirty six days of endless darkness surrounded Valen Cortas..."
>Valen Cortas
trying too hard to be fantasy
>twisting and turning itself into his bones
I do not see a significant relationship between darkness and his bones. It would make more sense for this to be his brain, though I doubt the ability of the writer to pull off such a description.
>until he and the darkness had become one
I hate to use the word "edgy," but that's what this is. A cliche "oh no this guy is so troubled and sad" moment.
You can definitely tell that she has not read a good book in her life, or at least does not enjoy good literature. So I guess it's hard to blame her for writing like this without any good inspiration or basis. You can also tell that she is a woefully inexperienced writer who probably has never had a single good peer review session. I get that it's fun to write and I'm not telling her to stop, but please try to release a quality product if you're going to be charging money.
>>8241211
Damn.
I think even my writing is better than that, if this could get published, maybe I do have a shot.
>>8241578
>>Thirty-six days of endless darkness.
>Not an effective "hook" for the reader, at least on its own.
Not only that, but if the darkness only lasted 36 days, why the fuck would it be "endless." That's not how words work.
>>8241605
I'm pretty sure she self published it using some program she paid for which was then listed as a "publisher".
>>8241524
she's hot your dumb
>>8241211
>Thirty-six days of endless darkness.
>Thirty-six days surrounded Valen Cortas in cell 377
>Thirty-six days twisting and turning themselves into his bones
Oh it's "let's get cranky over attractive females who would never date us"-time.
This is the sole reason you guys are spending attention on this. If she was a male you'd just say [he] is another amateur writer. Like threre's millions of. But he's a she, and ATTRACTIVE (a "stacy")??? - we must put her down!!!
>>8242089
Bitch looks like an alien.
If you're not chad or have a vagina, why live?
>>8243289
Go try to commit suicide, robot
>>8241211
Capitalise Cell, it seems unimportant when the reader will want to know why Valen is locked up.
Darkness infecting bones is not a common descriptive term. It infects blood, brain and nerves because it creates cancer symbolism. it infects, it spreads, it creates dead zones in your body where hope can no longer live. If you wish to write something about his bones, it makes more literary sense to write about a bitter wind entering his bones or a terrible sadness that seemed to hollow him out.
Double adjective in prison walls is lazy. Either groan or creak. Additionally, walls only creak or groan if there are pipes. Why not mention the metal bars creaking or groaning?
The threadbare blanket is okay, I can't see anything wrong with this part.
He doesn't speak the words aloud and internalises them, leading to a weak start. If you wish to write Sci-fi, it comes off as mundane.
Start the novel with "Vengeance will be mine." Describe the man, describe how cold the words felt in his mouth, describe the cell, his miserly grasp on the blanket, the planet, the universe.
There, you have an opening.
At 63 pages and co-wrote, this type of shit needs to fuck off.
Let me focus on the beauty of beethoven's pathetique sonata and stop distracting me with your plebeian threads, bitchnigger.
>average 4 with books in the back
>SHES FUCKING HOT DUDE LMAO!!!!!
holy fuck, no wonder every women thinks she is a 10
>>8242373
I'm guessing her appearance and popularity is why the book got published in the first place.
>>8243309
This, nice critique.
Also "His thoughts had long since stopped running wild with every" reads terribly. The whole thing needs way more description. Seems more like a summary than a fucking novel. Didn't create an atmosphere at all, no immersion whatever.
>>8242373
The problem is that her awful book is a bestseller and it's not even a book. It's all about her being a "pretty" girl who has a mediocre entertainment channel on yt. Her fanbase is naive women and desperate young men. It's so fun to ridicule it! I mean, what else would one do? Despair? Prefer to laugh at the absurdity, lad.
>>8243325
I think she's a 5. 4 would be a fat uggo. Look around: most girls looks very unpleasant. She's too butterfaced for a 6, that much is sure.
Daily reminder: if you procreate with a 5/10 or below you perpetuate misery. Give your children a somewhat good headstart in life by not settling with the worst genetics. It would be better to not have a family at all if one cannot score something decent.
>>8243430
desu
>>8241211
wew
Check out the sample on Amazon. It's actually helpful to read this book because it is basically a guide that shows you how you shouldn't write. A juxtaposition of faults and pitfalls of writing. Will undoubtedly improve your own writing.
that's actually a pretty terrible goodreads score compared to most YA.
>>8243762
>49 tabs
Does Valen Cortas have a boyfriend?
>>8241211
Genuinely seems like something I would have written when I was 14.
>>8243762
Yeah, but Goodreads scores are almost entirely full of shit.
wait till xtines book comes out
>>8241211
I wish I was an ittle girly wirly so I could make a shitty booky wookie and if people complained I could cry and throw my rattle at them and have white knights change my soggy diapee wipey
>>8243918
Typically if something has at least 100 reviews and a 4/5 or higher it's shit because you know most of the reviewers are pleb fucks who wouldn't give high scores to anything that was actually worthwhile.
>>8243762
Literally higher rated than Ulysses
why are you mad that these people have fans
it's not like a critic said it was a good book. a bunch of 12 year olds who watch her youtube did. i don't blame them for having shit opinions. in fact, i expect it.
>>8243934
>1k likes
>only 5 dislikes
RIGGED
I
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D
>>8242089
"You're"
>>8244507
lol why you say that
>>8241211
>It surrounded Valen Cortas in cell 377, twisting and turning itself into his bones until he and the darkness had become one.
Stopped reading.
>>8241254
Some women are good authors, and there are some COMPLETE KEKS which are much worse than any woman.
>reading the synopsis on the dust jacket of a book
>the main character is very proud of her heritage and is trying to save the human race from the evil white man about to kill all the world's children through oppressive technology
>oh god why
Because of you faggots and Amazon's retarded one click "feature", I'm now an owner of this "book"...
>>8241578
>You can definitely tell that she has not read a good book in her life
She's American
>>8243934
oyyyy i am kvetching from here
>>8241211
I'm happy for her. I don't even know who the bitch is. Good for her for writing a book. More than I've done recently. Hopefully it sells a bajillion copies.
>>8244566
Oh yes I am sure it will sell SIX MILLION copies.
Only fitting she is repaid for the sins of our ancestors.
>>8244583
yes, zix gorillion. she probably deserves it. I bet the book is shit, sure, but we've all concluded that literature is dead. it's folly to expect anything to come out that's worth a shit anymore. I take solace in the past, because there's more than enough for me to read til i'm on my deathbed, and that's not even including second and third reading. If some weird youtube bint wants to write a book and make a little cash and live her life, who am i to stand in her way? I don't really care, you know? not worth the distraction from the little time I get to enjoy literature in my life.
how do i write a book
>>8244655
start a succesful self whoring booktube channel then shoddily put a 100 page pamphlet together with every fantasy YA trope you can come up with and bingo.
>>8244802
62 pages with roughly 20 words per page, and she only wrote half of it... could hardly call this a book, or her an author.
>>8245592
>20 words per page
Holy shit really?
>>8245598
I exaggerated some, but it seems to average around 80 or so. Pic related is one page from the book.
Who /peruseproject/ here?
>>8243934
Obnoxious whore
>>8241211
Who gives a shit. As long as there are some pages inbetween two covers you have a book. As long you have a smelly vag with somehow qtable face that can operate a twiiter you have got an author that actually sells and can digest loads.
>>8243511
Checked the sample, language wasn't as bad as I'd expected, but god damn, I felt zero connection with characters what so ever. I'd assume it's the case with the rest of the book, but biggest flaw imo.
>>8243886
Holy shit I didn't even know you could do that with phones.
>>8245617
Not actually the worst I've read / 10
>>8243762
Is there any book on goodreads that doesn't have at least a 4 star rating?
>>8243762
Why would a mercenary have a reign of terror? Wouldn't the person who hired them have a reign of terror? Why the fuck does she have a glass ship?
Most importantly, why is she a fucking baron in space?
>>8247306
It's a bunch of things that sound cool (to the writer) mashed together. That's how all YA gets plotted.
>>8247306
>why is she a fucking baron in space?
Probably because the author has read (or heard of) Dune.
>>8247209
It's terrible.
>>8247306
>Most importantly, why is she a fucking baron in space?
MOOOOOM THE FUCKING ATREIDES KEKS ARE REPRESSING US AGAIN
>>8247270
Heart Of Darkness
(Fucking kill me goodreads are such plebs holy shit)
>>8247270
I'm pretty sure finnegans wake might have sub 4 stars.
>>8242089
and hotness is inversely related with age.
>>8247270
loads of shitty books. Joyce never broke 4. he has some of the worst ratings out of all the people we read.
>Writes half of 100 pages
"I'm a writer, Hurr Durr!"
We can only hope she kills herself before she has to endure the soul rending trials of... Another 50 pages
>#1 New York Times Bestseller
I guess that means nothing now.
That pic shows her with lots of books, how did she not figure out how to write one?
>>8249510
>I guess that means nothing now.
When did it ever mean anything? The 30s? The 50s? The 70s?
>>8247222
it's actually worse than Legend desu. At least Uli has a unique style. Also keep in mind she fucking co-wrote this dreck.
>>8249586
I'm writing a spiritual sequel to Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters. No hex codes tho.
Are we mad on her because she's a bad writer or just because she's making more money than any of us will see in our lifetimes with 50 pages booklet?
I feel like I'm mad for both. But everyone knew all along that small ebooks are the future.
>>8241211
>zenith
>androma
i wonder which exquisite ecotic words will she use next.
>>8241235
to shill it of course.
>>8249625
Is it really that much worse than autistic shit violently tossed off onto the internet by users of this board like pic related?
>>8249625
Little 50-100 page books are perfect commuter reads. I ain't even mad that she had the guts to put her stuff out there. More power to her.
>>8249793
I've read Ulysses on the train, faggot.
>>8241578
>> Nabokov-esque review
>> No reference to the author as a "non-entity"
Stop slacking, anon.
>>8242089
The bookshelf explains it.
>>8249605
>no hex codes
absolute, utter pleb. Uli was a master of prose and the hexcodes were necessary to establishing his OCDcore style.
>>8249793
>the guts to put her stuff out there
When will this meme die. It doesn't take any "guts" or "courage" or any of that other bullshit to put your garbage up for sale if it's something as milquetoast and inoffensive as an sff story that's not even 100 pages long.
This everyone should get an award for trying crap is cancer.
>>8249800
I've read Finnegan's Wake while driving, faggot.
>>8250510
I've read the Voynich Manuscript while skydiving, fuccboi.
Honestly, what did you expect from people that take pride in reading YA books?
bump for sweetheart
>>8241393
C U M M I N G S
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>>8251926
That picture is disgusting.
>>8250424
It is predominantly meant as advice for people with anxiety problems, but yes, if you're using it outside that context you're facilitating the production of airport thrillers at absolute best.
>>8250424
You know if one were at least minimally self aware, one would realize how utter shit your product is and be ashamed of using 13yo to sell it.
Hell you don't even have to able to understand good literature, just get an editor to give you an honest, hard opinion.
Everyone can become disillusioned about their capacities, it's just a matter of wanting it hard enough
>>8249702
Oh so this is why Tundra and Hyperspace are 90% retarded autismo writing with unfunny jokes. This guy is being imitated of all people.
I mean I like the "fuck the format" approach and chapters within chapters and mini-stories, but I wish that was just the means not the end and the means at the same time.
>>8249702
Modern literature, everyone.
>tfw children's literature are better than what "young adults" read nowadays
>>8241211
>booktuber
Still waiting for a good Youtube blogger analyzing the classics.
>>8243934
>all five people are from here
>>8255169
you're welcome
https://youtu.be/M_hQjX5Q3qU
>>8245617
>I am Valen Cortas
>Vengeance will be mine
Maximum cringe.
>>8251926
Tell them they know not the joy of reading high tier prose.
Oh, who am I kidding, no one cares about prose nowadays. It's all about the tropes and whether it's problematic or not.
>>8255173
I don't speak Spanish.
>>8255183
it's italian
>>8255186
Same shit to my Anglo ears.
>>8255181
Can confirm. There are people who will read horribly written/translated stories that contain the tropes they like.
>>8241537
She cowrote it bc her cowriter boyfriend let her suck cock inbetween her writers block so she could get more ideas. Drinking Cum = more ideas cmon. Besides she looks like she is better at sucking cock than putting a sentence together
>>8255175
Exactly, I swear some of her sentences flow like an r9k thread they are so cringe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1rBCec80Hw
Step 1: Go to link
Step 2: Go to comment section and comment "shadow hunters killed your mom"
Step 3: ???
Step 4: profit?
>>8255284
>Sasha I love your hair.
Fucking girls.
>>8255284
>aaahhh! sasha, the thread in your shirt! Drives me crazy-rip it off rip it off!!
>Ohhh... your english is sooo fast D: Greetings from germany :)
>>8255284
>I already read it halfway, and im freaking fall in love with the foreigner, ooohh i have so many fictional boyfriends love it
L I T E R A T U R E
>>8255284
Thank you Jesus fucking Christ lord in heaven above for making me male
I do not understand why you even made women, it seems outright cruel, but
either way, thanks for not making me one
>>8255284
alright I posted it. why did you want me to post that?
>>8255417
why did you want him to did that?
>>8255173
Do you have the French equivalent?
>>8255161
It isn't the end in his case though. This is some sort of vindictive crackpot attempt at discrediting Amazon and the publishing industry. He's put five of the fuckers out at this point.
>>8243432
>Look around: most girls looks very unpleasant.
Lol what kind of pleb place do you live in?
>>8244454
Well it's shorter.
>>8249399
subtle
that's honestly better than everything i've read on here. i take it you don't like scifi
>>8255570
look at that crusty ass 3.5 score. James joyce. more like james-fucking-sucks. you niggas finna try and Rep some man's who only has 1 book even break 3.8. yall fucking plebs mane
>I just mentioned this recently! The NY Times just announced that over 60% of YA readers are older adults. YA should just stop being called YA in general
YA confirmed for literature.
>"Poetry isn't literature"....baka. Another thing with Shakespeare- it's filled with fart and dick jokes! I hate people that try and degrade YA Lit. I don't understand how someone can read something written by John Green or Tahereh Mafi, whose books are written in such a beautiful, poetic way, and say it's smut.
God, I fucking hate John Green.
>I am sending you a standing ovation. This was brilliant!!! I am considering making a video response!! I had a English Lit professor spend an entire lecture ripping into Twilight and how it's the anti-Christ of literature and how it shouldn't even have been published. An entire lesson was spent on this. Excuse me, but I am not paying the tons of money I pay to be in his class to have any books torn apart, let alone a story I and many others love. That class is meant to praise writing, if he feels Twilight isn't worth praise than he should keep his mouth shut and continue rambling on about classics. Twilight may not be the "best" writing or the most inspiring plot but you better believe my passion for reading and stories is attributed somewhat to Twilight. And comparing a famous classic, say, "The Great Gatsby" to "Twilight" is a joke. Why is there this need to compare books to each other anyway. Can't we just read what we want and take the stories for what they are? Can't I read a classic and feel so proud and thankful to an author like Jane Austen or F. Scott Fitzgereld or the Bronte sisters for inspiring me to read a piece of history and then turn around and read Stephanie Meyer and be appreciative for the simple entertainment aspect of the story?? Why must we constantly compare books to each other when they should never even be discussed on the same playing field. Ughhhhh! I guess this big, old paragraph is enough to make it unnecessary to film a response.
>>8241578
Yes.
This bitch missed the "show, don't tell" memo.
The first paragraph is a melodramatic vomited stream of awkward cliched description about a guy I have no reason to give a fuck about.
Moreover, the "guy trapped in jail fantasizing about revenge" seems stolen wholesale from Alfred Bester's "The Stars My Destination," and he did it 1000x better.
>leashed a sharp coil of courage around his veins
puke
ugh I want to jizz in her Jewish face so hard
>>8255618
>the "guy trapped in jail fantasizing about revenge" seems stolen wholesale from Alfred Bester's "The Stars My Destination," and he did it 1000x better
The Count of Monte Cristo would blow your mind.
>>8255773
I want her to go for a jog on a muggy day and then run her finger between her tits until she gets those black stringy bits of sloughed off skin and sweat and dirt and then feed them to me one by one. I want to be her Roman strigil-slave and eat her γλοιός.
>>8255789
It usually included oil too and women weren't supposed to exercise according to classical Athenian culture, PLEB DETECTED
>>8241269
>best-seller
>>8241605
>if this could get published, maybe I do have a shot
>>8242377
>bitch looks like an alien
There is a reason for all of this, and it echoes.
>/lit/ all of sudden hates cute YA booktubers
What happened?
>>8256806
Lit stopped being AIDS, you should try it
>>8251926
>when that third reply reminds you off your gf
Kill me.
>>8255782
Wasn't the Count about to kill himself?
>>8256854
lol kill her
>>8241269
You know there are companies you can pay to put in bulk orders for your shit that'll automatically get it on the NYT bestsellers list, right? That list is worth less than toilet paper.
>>8256955
lmao sick I'm gonna post it on all her videos. that's hilarious.
>>8257026
she's rich as fuck too
