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So I'm submitting a short 300 word piece of writing this Friday to a literary magazine. Based on the prompt : “Hold this - it’s supposed to relieve stress?” and inspired by how much I've been on 4chan lately. At first I didn't want to take it seriously, now that I'm done, I kind of want it to be readable. Is there anyway I can make it better, less cringe?

>Unironic Trip Through Embryonic Lady-Land

>Momo-chan took my wrist in her hands and pressed my palm against her breast. “Hold this - it’s supposed to relieve stress?” I gulped away my embarrassment and gripped her breast, squeezing it gently. I was shocked, I couldn't believe Momo-Chan’s firm breast was in my hand. I palmed them and rubbed my thumbs against her nipples, she winced “I can’t believe you are touching my breasts. You really like my breasts, don’t you Onii-Chan?” I never realized how much Momo-chan cared about me up until this moment, she looked up at me blushing. I could see my reflection in her mirror black hair. And that’s when the acid kicked in.

>I saw the world in true color. The skin leaked away from my hands and devilish triadic faces with fiery tongues spat out at me, laughing against the rising flames. I leaned back and looked at Momo-chan, I could see she was trying to ignore me, ignore the guy who was experiencing the depths of hell. I looked around and thought of the people who were going to die, and realized that certain people die without living and certain people live without dying, that we were all one creative organism that had been dissected and quartered and chopped up and placed in rooms. That time didn’t exist, all that existed was matter flowing forward and I was the culmination of my experiences, that I was experiencing my whole timeline at once in my irreversible entropic design. Infinite continuously extended beyond itself, and I was there, experiencing the limits of my finite unto infinite.

>That’s when Momo-chan whispered in my ear: “Have you heard, Onii-chan, Radiohead just broke up.” I remembered we were listening to the basement tapes. Thom Yorke purred in my ear and I lay awake smelling my stink trying not to touch myself. The universe at work purred inside me and Thom Yorke purred inside me as well.

Thanks!