Are there Hegel fanfics?
>>8169646
>>8169663
A man who finds himself needing to specify this has done something wrong with his life.
>>8169663
>>8169752
To be fair, what he says before and after that makes sense.
"Amy: If you were to watch a documentary about a philosopher – Heidegger, or Kant, or Hegel – what would you like to see in it?
Derrida: Their sex lives.
Pourquoi? I’d love to hear about something they refuse to talk about. Why do these philosophers present themselves asexually in their work? Why have they erased their private lives from their work or never talked about anything personal? There is nothing more important in their private life than love. I’m not talking about making a porno film about Hegel or Heidegger. I want them to speak about the part that love plays in their lives."
Das Kapital.
>>8169991
ma nigga
>>8170958
I want a story not a novel length prose poem.
Guess I'll have to write it myself.
>>8169752
Or something incredibly right.
>>8169863
Kierkegaard sort of does this even though he decides to be celibate.
Hegel was so excited. Even though he was 52, he had been invited to the most prestigious school for magicians - Hogwarts. He had already bought his wand and robe, and stood admiring them in a full length mirror, imagining sleek muscles rippled beneath them. Oh, how they would, soon.
Cont.?
>>8169646
Ueber die Universitäts-Philosophie
>>8172486
"Magic!" he thought. "Magic is truly absolute idealism."
But something was worrying him. Magic was *too* absolute. He couldn't find an inherant contradiction. Would the new teachinga he was about to recieve destroy his beautiful system?
He stopped his worries for the time being, stretched his legs, and moved towards the bus station.
>>8172534
Please continue. I'm having a good laugh.
https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Philosophy%20RPF/works
this is the closest you will find
>>8173263
Ravenclaw or Slytherin.
>>8172534
This is hilarious.
>>8174851
That's good.
Now, this is a story all about how
My head got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I inspired some neckbeard and and revolutions everywhere
>>8172534
>stretched his legs
Lol
"Did you find the supreme philosophical truth today son?"
"No dad."
"You'll keep trying though?"
"Yes dad."
"That's the spirit."
"By Kant! That's it!"
>>8169863
Did he talk about his sex life?
>>8169991
underrated
>>8169663
Who would be on top?
All of philosophy after him
>>8169863
Tbf, Hegel seemed like the biggest autist of human history.
>>8181197
>biggest autist
>continental not analytic
Did he even speak in dialect?
Uh oh yeah
Oh suck it
Oh fuck you
Oh Shelling
Oh this is why they call you two dope ain't it
Oh fuck you
Oh take it out take it out
Oh now give something to Fichte
Oh violent Fichte
Wait don't bite it
Don't be violent with it now just suck it
Nice and slow yeah
Oh oh fuck yeah
You got oh
Now give it back to Shelling
He was sucking it better
Oh now say my name (Hegel)
Say my name (Hegel)
What?
Oh fuck you guys
Give me my dick back
Fuck you guys
If you want Hegel you can have Hegel
Fuck you guys I'm leaving
(Arthur no!)
(Arthur wait, oh damn)
(Nice going Shelling)
>>8169646
I'm thinking of writing a slashfic with him. What fetishes do you think he had?
>>8169863
So does that mean Ayn Rand is better because she talked about her sex life and sexuality with her work?
>>8182966
Yes.
>>8169646
>
>>8182972
Huh, interesting.
''Love, friendship, respect, admiration are the emotional response of one man to the virtues of another, the spiritual payment given in exchange for the personal, selfish pleasure which one man derives from the virtues of another man’s character. Only a brute or a collectivist would claim that the appreciation of another person’s virtues is an act of selflessness, that as far as one’s own selfish interest and pleasure are concerned, it makes no difference whether one deals with a genius or a fool, whether one meets a hero or a thug, whether one marries an ideal woman or a slut.''
I wonder what Hegel says about love other than it being completely irrational.
dialecticbump
>>8184625
Bumping for a new thesis
>>8169646
Everything by Zizek
>>8186440
I play negate attack.
>>8186445
Is any of it slashfic?
Slavoj sat back in his plush red gucci armchair and took a big fat drag, letting the intoxicating fumes from the dank kush fill his mindspace with fleeting images of only the purest ideology. He'd been engaging in this sort of intellectual masturbation for a few years now: building up ideology into the enemy to be defeated, a taboo, only to make his playing with it more sensual. Verboten. The fruit that must not be eaten but whose juice is so sweet. Toying with the idea of becoming an Episcopalian was bouncier than the freshest tits on a drunk girl on spring break in Cancun.
But today his dreams took him elsewhere, images of dicks filled his mind. He dreamt deeply of a solid if not particularly fantastic peener, about 5.3 inches long and a bit skinny, uncut, and adorned with a wreath of wiry grey hairs.
"You like what you see, don't you."
Slavoj startled and peered into the upper branches of the woodland of his subconscious, and saw Hegel himself, naked, prick and mantits hanging in the gentle breeze. The image was purely asexual, which excited Slavoj even further. His diamond hardness pressed against his trousers with enough force to mount a steed.
>>8186501
"Hegel, *sniff*, what are you doing here? I banished you to the netherrealms of my mind years ago."
"Yes, but I have returned. You should know that nothing in the mind is permanent. Allow me to demonstrate what the power of the mind can achieve!"
Hegel's penis started to grow at an alarming rate, upwards of 20 feet long in length, undulating like a serpent in response to a snake charmer's call. "My marvelous manhood will show you the way. For in my nonexistent state as a figment of your imagination, I have become an ideology myself. Strangle yourself with my penis Slavoj, and let yourself be taken under the waves of the ocean of peace."
Hegel's dick wrapped around Zizek, ensnaring him like a spider captures its prey. Soon all that was left uncovered by his penis cocoon was Slavoj's head.
"Now embrace the ideology that is absolute idealism, and let me rock your world."
As the penis cocoon began to vibrate rapidly, Zizek had a full-body orgasm. Cum erupted from all of his orifices like a faucet, and his mind was shown images of only the purest dichotomies. Soon he was spent, and his body was as flat and empty as a drained wineskin. "Now I will fill you, dear Slavoj, with my own ideas." Hegel stuck the end of his pecker right into Zizek's mouth, and began to fill his empty with cum body like a hose, as Slavoj started to inflate with all the Hegel-sperm.
"Mein Gott, I can see to infinity!"
Both of them reached the purest of climaxes simultaneously.
Slavoj woke up several hours later back in his armchair, finding himself with his pants down and his shirt covered with crusty dried semen.
...But was it his own?
~fin~
