>17-19
>read literature non-stop
>22 now
>read one book this year
Who /failure/ here?
>aged 19 read 160 books / year
>aged 20 read 200 books / year
>age 21 read 9 books / year
>age 22 read 0 books this year
at least I got the greeks in when I had the drive i guess
>17-20
>read classic literature non stop
>20-30
>just read pynchon over and over
cram it homo
>>8167578
>17-19 didn't read
>23 now
>still don't read but now pretend to read
>>8167589
Burned yourself out I guess.
That is an inhuman amount of books.
>>8167596
I was full on NEET and only read books so yeah probably burnt out
I was having this problem too OP
My accidental solution:
>drop two gumdrop hits of acid
>have great time for part of it
>smoke weed
>become depersonalized
>feel like you are a spirit floating in nothing, having hallucinated your entire existence up to this point
>vibrate
>go upstairs and lie in bed, prepare for possible death
>stare at the ceiling and watch it melt away
>try to find the answer in Corinthians 13, find nothing
>chill the fuck out eventually
>get sick the next night
>throw up
>try to rationalize why your throwing up
>experience existential despair for the next week
>become absolutely paranoid and anxious about having fucked your mind
>slowly become less and less concerned about it over the weeks
>feel relatively normal again
It's been like a month and a half and I've read more in this period than I have since December. It's been kinda shit but I'm finally readjusting to sleep and not being like "whoa what if it's all a dream in my head", not really smoking weed as much since it gets me in weird head spaces which it always has but it's definitely worse when your depressed, and I'm not paralyzed with fear about my future and wether or not I'll go insane/kill myself. I don't remember where I was going with this but whatever; I'm actually reading again and enjoying it.
>>8167652
Protip: the real potential in LSD lies with microdosing.
>>8167578
>16-19
>read classic works of fiction
>19-23
>read enlightenment and counter-enlightenment philosophers and transcendentalists
>23-now
>read fantasy
>>8167656
Seems interesting, but I'm definitely taking a break from psychedelics for a while at least. Don't want to test my psyche anymore than I have at the moment.
>>8167656
>Microdosing
Mein Nigga!
I have microdosed on shrooms for two full semesters, felt like an uber.
One time, on the train, the dose was a bit potent then planned, the station turned to the inferno in front of my surprised eyes, the screeching noise was torture, inside I sat next to a smilling demon with fire in his eyes, but when the train started moving all was quite and calm, the destination was clearly revealed to be among the stars.
The next day I bought a scale not fucking around any more.
>>8167784
just... just stop man...
please
>>8167656
DUDE
>>8167590
>pynchon
why
>>8167652
Had the same thing with 15 years old smoking spice, now for defeating my fears with psychedelic drugs i tried acid and was really beautiful. I'm a little anxious now but wathever, reading a lot about buddhism.
>>8167797
Awful english there but wathever.
>>8167578
Fuark OP, I'm similar.
>18-23
>Read tonnes of books, becoming more and more of a discerning reader
>23-24
>Close to fuck all
>24- few months later
>Fuck all
I'm in a quagmire of nihilism. I'm the guy who invented and is population the terms "pseuds" and "academia-media-publishing industrial complex".
I only need to type "aca" on my phone before it offers the full term.
>>8167652
>Corinthians 13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM
Anyone else here constantly want to buy gummi worms but can't because the cashier will judge you?
Is Fight Club a comedy?
>>8167578
>Who /failure/ here?
All of us. Except Lisa and Günter, they're doing alright.
>>8167578
>failure
We all fail, even winners, it's your mind that thinks that you will forever be a failure.
>debate me
>>8167822
>muh modern "your mentality can change the world meme"
kys
>>8167815
homo erotic masculine fantasy
>>8167823
not the same guy but isn't your own perception the only one that truly matters?
>>8167790
Stop what?
>>8167790
why?
>>8167652
>iktf
Did a lot of acid my senior year of high school, it really helped me realize some important things about my self, those around me, how people communicate and certain metaphysical aspects of existence. Had a few bad trips but found they were more meaningful than most of the enjoyable trips.
I went too ham though, dropped at least once a week for 2.5 months. I began to not even feel the acid at normal doses and the positive mentality toward my schoolwork I took years building dropped away. I stopped caring about things as much, felt more sedated in everyday life, gave up playing guitar (which had been my passion) and stopped reading as much. Haven't touched acid since the first time I tok 25i (was supposed to be L, had worst trip of my life on 2 tabs) and the effects linger. I feel like taking it again might be able to get me in the right direction, but as I have seen in many people who have fucked with psychs, there is this feeling of uneasiness in my gut that tells me there is danger in dropping again. I did a half tab of 25i despite this feeling and had an ok if not very confusing experience. I would feel comfortable doing salvia at this point though.
>>8167823
Learned helplessness and chronic defeatism is so fucking common, especially on this site. ressentiment9k is the most extreme instance, but it's on other boards too. In those cases, it genuinely isn't much more than a shitfaggy attitude holding people back.
>>8168639
A small amount of shrooms might help. I'm not that well informed because they're the only psych I've tried, but it was very peaceful in an indescribable way. I walked down some stairs and stepped out into sun shining on snow and felt so at peace that I kept telling my friend we had just been baptized.
>>8168700
> I kept telling my friend we had just been baptized.
kek
I read about 5-15 books per year all my life until this year. This year I've read about 6000 pages, which I think is a better metric, and is double what I read last year.
>>8167589
lmao sounds like you got caught by the pussy demon
>>8168655
>ressentiment
Top meme.
>>8168639
Another victim of MKULTRA. They tempted you in like Adam with the forbidden fruit on the promise of wisdom and peace and love maaaan then ruined you. Another hopeless dead head waster cast adrift and no longer a threat to the order.
