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Hey /lit/ I have a problem. A lot of my sentences end up like
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Hey /lit/ I have a problem.
A lot of my sentences end up like this.

"He ____. He then ____. He ____. After that, he ____."

How do I shake it up more?
thanks
>>
>>8160018

He___ . Then__- ___ After __

It's not that hard unless you are changing POV or the character in question it seems rather pointless
>>
>>8160018
just be conscious of it when you do it and try restructure it
>>
Just write more interesting sentences. Begin more sentences with dependent clauses.

>He walked to the store. He bought eggs.
Could be
>He walked to the store. With three dollars in his wallet, he only bought eggs.

Those aren't great, but I'm just trying to give you an idea of what I mean. Your sentences will sound a lot better if 1) they vary in length and 2) they don't sound repetitive like you mentioned in your post.
>>
How about instead of
>he walked into a store. He brought eggs.
Write
>he walked into a store. It was still early in the morning and he never got the chance to break fast, so he decided to buy a few eggs to go with that cold ass bacon. "Dam right" he thought as he handed over the cash. "That ougha make a fiiiine breakfast."
>>
>>8160018
Leave it the way it is, then worry about making changes while editing. Go back and get to the root of what you're trying to say and restructure the sentences to better capture it. See what can be condensed into small phrases, what can be interconnected to longer and more rythmic prose, what you can omit completely, etc. You'll eventually drop the habit.
Writing is more re-writing than anything else
>>
>>8160077
How about
>he went to buy eggs for breakfast. Then he thought: "How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>>
Quickest, easiest way is to read this and apply it to your sentences: https://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuk/nuts-and-bolts-%E2%80%9Cthought%E2%80%9D-verbs
>>
>>8160018
Think of it in the way of a painting. A house with nothing else clearly presents the house and your ability to paint on but it's all the other details that change it to a house surrounded by mountains and a chilling wind, or a house sitting pleasantly in a meadow.

You can say "he picked up the glass. He then put it down", you know how the characters feels, you can envision the room, the atmosphere, the smells, lights and feelings. Create the world your character exists in.

"He picked up the glass. Once crystal clear, years of use dulled it's shine. The way it sat in his hand gave him a feeling of importance - well weighted and obviously made with artisanal care, adding to the regal feeling he got from simply being in this abode. He then put it down. "

Obviously my second sentence just says more in between the sentences but it paints more of the picture than just house, not just the direct object but the other flares that give it character. This comes from just writing more. Don't worry if you can't do it now just focus on conciously writing to paint a full picture, give context and deeper involvement.

Hope this helps.
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