The most dull-witted things a person has told you about books.
I'll start : You could have read the Bible 2 times already instead of wasting time on normal books.
There Bible is the most literarily significant book
>>8087200
>Books makes you smarter.
>People that read are more tolerant and express their ideas coherently
The only reason that would have been dull-witted is if it were in fact not true that the amount of other books you had read did equate to reading the bible twice.
Suggesting books isn't dull-witted, it's a matter of taste.
>>8087200
The Bible has killed more people than guns and AIDS combined. Ain't nobody got time for that!!
>>8087237
The Catcher in the Rye killed John Lennon and nearly Ronald Reagan. We should discredit that book as well.
>>8087278
It's already discredited for being shit.
My friend told his wife I write, and she asked if I write movies, and I told her that I try to write books, and she asked if I was talking about those paper and leather things that go on shelves.
She said she likes how they look, but thought that they were antiques, and asked if anybody still uses them anymore.
>>8087324
>Things That Never Happened: The Post
>>8087345
Pretty sure it was a joke there pal
>>8087200
I worked in a machine shop where half the people were ex-cons and the rest were borderline illiterate.
I was reading The Metamorphosis and my coworker asked "what's that book about"
>umm...a guy wakes up to the realization that he turned into a cockroach.
>that sounds fuckin gay.
>well....you just gotta read it, it's really-
>i dont read gay books
>you don't fucking read
>exactly.
I wish there was a better way of describing the metamorphosis
>>8087405
>I wish there was a better way of describing the metamorphosis
A man awakes to discover his exterior now mirrors his insect-like personality.
>>8087405
honestly, I tried describing it to a coworker the other day and all I could come up with was
>Guy turns into a bug
>His family is shitty to him
>>8087447
but that's literally the most accurate description of the book you could say in so few words desu senpai.
there's this chick in my class who's constantly trying to talk to me about "books" and "reading", but never anything specific
She's one of those people who "loves to read!!" but rarely reads anything, and only ever YA garbage
>>8087405
>mfw trying to describe Blumfeld
>balls that bounce on their own
>they torment this old guy
>he traps them and goes to work
>>8087447
> Man turns into a woodlouse; his family makes him feel lousy.
>>8087524
Literary equivalent of "I fucking love science!!"
Really annoying. Usually the same people who wring their hands in exasperation because "ugh I just don't know what to read next there's just so much to choose from!" Just fucking read. And make a backlog so you don't deal with this reading purgatory after every book.
>>8087345
Triggered.
>>8087200
Depending on how he said it and what you normally read, there is nothing wrong with that statement.
>>8087324
FUCK I hate women
>>8088135
You got memed friend
>>8087405
>cockroach
*Vermin
>>8087200
Are you American and if so, how far south of the Manson Nixon line do you live?
>>8087224
>The Bible teaches you about Western culture
>The Bible is the most book in Western history
>The Bible can be read for pleasure and not religious purposes
>The Bible is well written and well edited, all around a pleasurable read
>>8087405
>I wish there was a better way of describing the metamorphosis
Thats really the only explanation you need for anyone who likes books
>>8088313
God why.
Once is enough.
I don't think anyone really needs to memorize the genealogy of the Levites this closely.
>>8088332
Don't worry. They only meant the Christian parts.
>>8088338
That's not so bad then. The NT is like 1/10th the length of the OT.
>>8088313
It's also full of outrageous shit like incest, murder and genocide, so it's good fun for all the family.
>>8088345
>yfw someone says the bible has good moral lessons and teaches you how to live well
>>8088363
This. It's like saying the news has murders so the news is bad.
>>8088363
>implying original post wasn't capturing the idiocy of those looking for moral guidance from a collection of writings, histories, fables, genealogies, and a nice addendum about a pretty cool guy who said that being Jewish was hard, so we're going to stop doing that
>>8088363
hey listen, i read genesis, i'm pretty sure i've got the bible all figured out
>>8088363
>The Bible is not one book
>The Bible must be read as whole to understand its meanings
Pick One
>>8088363
'didactic' is the word you're looking for
>>8088352
>All that shit is metaphorical, trust me, you have look at the deeper lessons its gives, like stone the gays
Other than "love thy neighbor" which is a lesson found in almost every culture with various degrees of applicability, I don't see why you should read through all the religious stuff just to gain some understanding of moral ideas when 99% percent of the morals are tied only with the religious parts.
>>8088375
Nobody said the bible was bad edgelord.
You don't need to be a moral absolutist to see that many of the directly taught lessons of the OT are morally reprehensible.
Furthermore, I don't see many folks using the news as a method of proselytizing a moral system.
>>8088416
>many of the directly taught lessons of the OT are morally reprehensible.
According to?
muh feels?
>>8087405
Have you considered not being gay?
>>8087405
>>umm...a guy wakes up to the realization that he turned into a cockroach.
>>that sounds fuckin gay
what's gay about turning into a cockroach unless you sleep with cockroaches of your own gender
i could understand that reaction if the guy turned into a pretty pony, but cockroach, seriously, how is it gay?
>>8088424
>spooks
>>8088444
i think he meant it as stupid not homosexual
>>8088414
>not without structure or intent
So what was the purposes of all those passages advocated religious sanctioned warfare and tribal behavior?
>muh feels
You are arguing that it has great moral lessons, philosophical content or has great literary prose but giving me shit for "muh feels"? LOL
>stone the gays
The main lesson people take away from after all the raping and war, so I don't see how thats not inaccurate
>>8088424
>its not morally reprehensible
>you just feel its morally reprehensible
>I feel you are wrong
>lol muh feels
I've never seen someone troll this badly before
>>8088444
>>8088455
'cock'roach
>>8088456
>So what was the purposes of all those passages advocated religious sanctioned warfare and tribal behavior?
>The main lesson people take away from after all the raping and war, so I don't see how thats not inaccurate
HOW DARE EVENTS BE RECORDED! ITS FUCKING 2016 WE DONT NEED TO READ BOOKS FROM OLD DEAD WHITE MEN JOHN GREENS BOOKS TEACH A BETTER MORAL LESSON THAN ALL OF THAT
>>8088424
According to the teachings of Christ and many of the OT laws that are conveniently invalidated (temporarily) by God while the Jews rampage around murdering and raping.
Are you really this dense?
>>8088463
maybe he's the gay one, how do you pick that out without selective hearing?
>>8088463
I'm pretty sure saying "now go Moses and rape all these prisoners of war" is not mere recording
And what purpose that serves to us philosophically or morally out of all the books in Western literature, i'll never understand
>>8088470
[citation needed]
>>8088470
Ur just not deep enough 2 understand morality iz a sp00k
Something something "muh feels"
The fact that the system of religious morality set up in the OT is never properly followed should just show you how wrong your feelings of morality are because you are clearly basing them in no philosophical grounds because I am projecting my own insecurities onto you
So now go away or I shall taunt you a second time because I have only pretended to have read the bible to seem learned and 2cool4u
>>8088480
Stop shitposting.
>>8088478
Numbers 31
31:15 And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive?
31:16 Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.
31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.
31:18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
>>8088480
>I have only pretended to have read the bible to seem learned and 2cool4u
Lol kill yourself, I've read it before. But because I don't bend over backwards and support it as a moral or literary text doesn't mean I don't understand it
>inb4 JESUS RELIEVED THE COVENANT OF THE JEWS, ALL THAT SHIT DOESN'T COUNT
>The fact that the system of religious morality set up in the OT is never properly followed should just show you how wrong your feelings of morality are because you are clearly basing them in no philosophical grounds because I am projecting my own insecurities onto you
What the fuck are you even talking about? You can't say "muh feelz" and then advocate your own feelings that is a moral and philosophical text.
>>8088505
>Judaism has no moral basis
This troll has gone far enough, friendo.
>>8088511
Thats not what I said but ok
>>8088505
>But because I don't bend over backwards and support it as a moral or literary text doesn't mean I don't understand it
Yes it does: atheists cannot ever understand it because they are 'not even shallow'.
Even ignorance eludes you, and nothing fills its place; those that do not know the Holy Spirit cannot comprehend its influence.
It's as futile as describing to the born-blind 'colour' and 'light' when all they have ever known and will ever know is darkness.
>>8088516
Holding a religion accountable to its own moral guidlines is "muh feels"
In what world?
It's entirely impersonal.
>>8087302
fite me, m8
>>8088517
>Even ignorance eludes you, and nothing fills its place; those that do not know the Holy Spirit cannot comprehend its influence
So basically, trust me bro, you just have to believe. You aren't even going to try and justify its value outside of religious context?
Then that just confirms the point I made here >>8088313 that its can't be used for non-religious purposes
This is similar to what my Bible studies teacher told me come to think of it
>>8087278
>shooting John Lennon is comparable to thousands of years of warped Christian morality
Kek
Also its shit anyway
>>8088532
There is no 'value' or 'context' outside of religion.
When every system of logic collapses upon itself, every rationalist is revealed to be a hypocrite and every empiricist, incestuous, then all that remains is Faith.
>>8088538
>warped
How so, because you dislike it?
And why are you the arbiter?
>>8088517
I see /pol/ has arrived.
When shall we begin the crusading against the moors?
>>8088545
>i can't even retort, so I will instead blindly insult
>>8088540
>There is no 'value' or 'context' outside of religion.
KEK. Man even my teacher didn't go that far, lol
>When every system of logic collapses upon itself, every rationalist is revealed to be a hypocrite and every empiricist, incestuous, then all that remains is Faith.
And yet you can't justify your own system of logic other than MUH HOLY SPIRIT
>How so, because you dislike it?
Nope, its just shit. Building a system of morals on "God said so" or "you are going to hell" it is intellectually bankrupt.
As you can't demonstrate the Bible's value as a book or system of philosophy outside of MUH FAITH then whats the point? Whether I like it or not is another story but we can discuss it outside the context of personal taste.
And again, its ironic you are bringing the whole "only you don't personally like it" argument when your own argument is "I personally like it". Do you not see the problem with your line if reasoning?
>And why are you the arbiter?
Why are you? Why is the Bible?
>>8088552
>KEK. Man even my teacher didn't go that far, lol
LOL I CANT DEFEND MY STANCE SO LOL XDDD MY OLD WHITE TEACHER DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT
>And yet you can't justify your own system of logic
I have none.
>Nope, its just shit. Building a system of morals on "God said so" or "you are going to hell" it is intellectually bankrupt.
Confirmed troll; that is not anywhere in scripture or scholarship.
>Nope, its just shit.
muh feels everything should go according to what I LIKE IM BETTER THAN AN ABSOLUTE BEING
>>8088551
Why would an omnipresent and omnipowerful deity demand the attention of beings so small and insignificant in such specific and petty ways?
I'm all for the concept of deism, to make an argument either way about the existence or non-existence of God is philosophical suicide, but to imply the existence of a personal God, especially a petty, jealous, and weak God, predicated entirely upon the existence of a book that has been heavily edited and rewritten hundreds of times to incorporate middle eastern paganism and Jewish mysticism is simply foolish.
If there is a God it is a being so beyond our understanding that our faith means nothing in the face of it and no words could adequately describe it, let alone a holy set of words a few thousand years old in an almost ageless universe by comparison.
>>8088554
>MY OLD WHITE TEACHER DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT
He wasn't white but ok
>I have none.
The Bible and Faith isn't a system of logic? :)
>Confirmed troll; that is not anywhere in scripture or scholarship.
Except you said it before, KEK. Remember that rant about the Holy spirit?
>muh feels
Being this unironically retarded
>>8088554
So your faith in this being is based upon the bible and what else?
Could it be... YOUR FEELS? :^)
>>8088554
>I LIKE IM BETTER THAN AN ABSOLUTE BEING
So there is no purpose to the Bible other than an insane, indoctrinated trust in religion?
Got it, glad you could confirm this for the entire board.
>>8088559
>Oh, so you're illiterate as well.
You have confirmed this several times bro. Also, no one said anything about white people.
>>8088557
>he didn't read the bible
>>8088567
Apparently you can't also disagree with a 2000 year old doctrine without Christfags flying off the handle :)
>>8088567
Not STEM at all friendo, entirely humanities.
I'm not asking for empirical evidence, I'm asking what compels you to have faith. It is an inherent feeling that faith is correct. Glass houses.
>>8088581
So faith comes from within?
>>8088581
>heretic
Wtf
>>8087200
>muh people must not like what I do not like, people must listen to me, listen to me RRREEEEE , respect my authority !!1, I am a shark, REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>8087278
>John Lennon and nearly Ronald Reagan
But how many had they themselves killed?
>>8088313
I had no idea that the bible was the most book in Western history!
>>8087200
my dad says some pretty shit things about hemmingway. i love hemmingway, but..
>old man and the sea
>its about a man vs nature
stop it dad
>>8088332
its called brainwash
>>8088581
But how do you know that faith is self propelling. Does it come from the Bible or somewhere else?
>>8088416
>lessons
They weren't lessons though. They were guidelines to maintaining a functional society in a desert shithole. The moralizing was a later feature that was read into the preexisting text retroactively.
>>8089075
>guidelines to maintaining a functional society in a desert shithole
>guidelines are not lessons
>implying what is considered acceptable social organization, under which contexts and the relationship of the individual to both isn't the very essence of morality
>>8087200
> have friend
> his favourite authour is john green
> never read a literary classic in his life
> buy electric kool-aid acid test for him
> comes back a week later saying there are not enough outsanding and meaningful sentences in the book
>>8087405
I know these feels. Used to work in a warehouse that shipped out TVs and Appliances. Everyone else there was black. So yeah...
>>8087557
I'm mad at myself for bursting out in laughter.
>>8088557
god is the ideal of perfection that we strive to
god is the best qualities of man, he is the word and his son is the word made flesh. we can do great and meaningful things with words, you being on a fucking forum dedicated to literature should know this more than anyone.
this is one thing i got out of it. there's more but this is the most topical, and personally my favourite.
it seems to me you havent read the bible or at the very least the gospels, so you're talking out of your ass
>>8089704
"For the LORD thy Godisa jealous God among you) lest the anger of the LORD thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth."
Deuteronomy 6:15
>What man aspires to be
Have YOU read the Bible, friend?
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
>b-but m-my New Testament- !
Jesus is a cool guy, indeed the word made flesh, but the relation of Christ's nature to God Himself is part of the whole triune God divine mystery, aka we can't rectify that Jesus is nice and the ideal person when God has never been anything but a petty cunt.
Game of thrones is good it's just written weirdly
Op here.
I made this thread to just get some /lit/ humor going, however /pol/ invaded.
>>8089611
well I'm black. So yeah...
Probably has more to do with working in a certain environment than it does with race, friendo
>>8090168
Nope. You're just an exception.
>>8087226
But that's true
>>8090181
an exception to the demographic or just your views of it?
>>8090192
The former.
>>8089516
you just triggered the fuck outta me
>>8090275
really? Because black women make are the highest percentage of the college demographic in the US. Maybe you should try going outside every once in a while.
That machine shop I was talking about was literally all white people, I was the only black guy and the only reader. In fact I had to do all the reading at safety meetings because I was the most proficient. Imagine what I would think of white people if my only exposure was work and 4chan. I'd probably sound a bit like you, no?
>>8087200
I'd almost adhere to that advice except I've read the Bible already liek a good catholic Irish boy I am.
However, I agree that reading 'Normal books' - as in, fiction, is time wasting for the most part and I rarely read them. I use my team reading books on real subjects to gain knowledge.
To each his own of course, I just feel like I could be learning rather than enjoying a story. If the books mix things like philosophy with stories then I could read that but I've read my fair share of philosophy already.
>>8088414
>muh feels
is the extent of all morality
>>8090362
No. Every negro girl in college I meet is just as trashy and idiotic as ever. No random statistic will make up for how pathetic your entire peoples are, just be happy you're less garbage than the rest because you at least read.
>>8090468
Not blackanon, but I think you may be butt-angery friendo.
Does it bother you to know that with every privilege possible you're still a failure and a piece of shit?
I'd probably hate black folks too if I were as closed-minded and pathetic as you.
>I just can't read.
>>8090606
shut up fag
>>8090606
Yeah I stopped caring at "every negro girl in college I meet"
>>8090709
>I have no self esteem and it's everyone else's fault
>>8087226
I only agree with the toleant part, lol.
>>8087441
way to shoehorn your own interpretation into a description, retard
>>8090468
>No random statistic will make up for how pathetic your entire peoples are
But your idiosyncratic interpretation does justify this sweeping claim?
>>8090135
Pol fucked this thread up hard
Anyone have the template for this comic?
>>8092989
Had no idea there was a non-leftypol/ version of this
