I want the sentence "Well then what are you?" to be spoken very quickly in one breath with no pause. Would it be grammatically correct to leave it as is, sans comma, or would I need to put one in? If so, where? After "well," or after "then?" I feel like both of those change the intonation of the sentence, the former placing stress on "well" and the latter on "well then," whereas I don't want either.
why does it have to be spoken so fast?
>>8055186
Why not just use dialogue tags, its you being faggy
"I'm not sad."
"What are you then?"
>>8055198
Because that's the nature of the scene and the circumstances surrounding the line, my man.
>>8055203
I won't use them unless they're absolutely necessary and in this case I really don't think they are. If I can communicate what I want to convey through the words themselves then I'm not going to bring in unnecessary fucking clutter onto the page.
>>8055213
This is a really good alternative, but even then there's a problem: could you get away with using no comma before the "then?"
>>8055228
Then what are you?
"What are you?"
>>8055186
In my opinion, first or third. Whenever I've read the second one I've always read it with a pause in mind. Third one has a kind of natural stopping point, the sentence being split there makes perfect sense and the tempo would, or could, still be quick. I think the first is still fine if you really want to be clear about it.
"I'm not well."
"What, are you?"
"Sad then."
>>8055233
Sounds too short and angrier than intended. The "well" adds a necessary extra syllable to the line and gives the sentence a tone verging more on exasperation than anger. "Then" is a much harsher, barkier way of starting the line than "well," which is much softer.
>>8055186
>Well then what are you?
Nothing stresses a pause at all. The one thing that would cement the speed would be an exclamation mark, as to me, it would be read as someone being snappy
Not sure how you'd feel about having ?! in your work, others will surely disagree.
>>8055228
>This is a really good alternative, but even then there's a problem: could you get away with using no comma before the "then?"
Yeah
"Then" only APPEARS to be a nonessestial word because in this circumstance "then" isn't essential to understanding the sentence.
>>8055447
>?!
Please, anon. My heart.
>>8055228
>could you get away with using no comma before the "then?"
You can get away with whatever the fuck you want, the writing police aren't going to book you a ticket
"Says you."
B U M P
>>8055186
IMO grammar isn't really important when writing dialog. Just write it in the way that will make the reader read it the way it is meant to sound.
Well then what are you?
What are you then? is superior, though.
>>8055186
I vote no comma. Otherwise I'll read it with a pause. If you're gonna go with a comma, do it after "well". I think the other one changes the meaning slightly.
>>8056971
>Otherwise I'll read it with a paus
Yes. That's the fucking point. Why have I read this so many times in this thread. Are you guys retarded?
>>8057008
you've literally gotten your answer a million times.
>>8057008
I don't understand what sort of response you were hoping for.
>>8055186
Well, then, what are you?
>>8057132
where did you send it?
"wellthenwhatareyou?"
t. only writes essays for uni
Gosh darn it son what are you then?
Well then what are, you?
Well what are you then?
>>8055935
Warned you about the symbols, bro
change the font so that the letters have speed lines
