how the fuck do you deal living in a world that's so stupid, religious, morally arbitrary, destructive, and egotistical? It's fucking unbearable.
>>8028544
I know what you're insinuating, and I've been out of high school for almost 5 years.
>>8028539
“It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.”
>>8028562
wtff slashing your wrists is the least effective freedom path known to man
>>8028544
mods
I became a god. People are transformed into higher beings when I enter the room. Just yesterday my grandfather and aunt threw themselves at my feet and begged for my mercy.
>>8028539
You become the kind of person you respect, then meet with others who you respect. Not everyone is total shit.
>>8028577
Not OP.
I'm trying and it's really hard
>>8028577
I am OP, and to be honest all of my friends have either been insane, figuratively and literally, they've all been online too. I don't even know what to do when I leave my house, I just find the sort of interactions I have with others to be so trivial. Become someone's "friend", talk to them every month or so, or maybe every year, given you don't work in a certain space with them. I long for that sort of adolescent friendship, where you would spend time with others and really get to know others. Ironically, once we grew up we all realized we didn't know who we are, we didn't know who are friends were either. I still have that problem. I spend so much time alone, I have not a single clue short of going up to random people and painfully striking up conversations with random strangers. Human being can sense your emotions, they'll know if I'm desperate for companionship and if I feel lonely, they'll be repulsed by my weakness.
>>8028584
whoever said it would be easier
>>8028539
Focus all your energy on science and pretend you're going to change things
>>8028601
What do you do for fun OP?
>>8028618
I listen to classical music pretty much all the time lately, I usually listen to other genres too but right now it's just been classical music for about the past month. I generally just read some random articles that appear on my facebook feed, because I follow a lot of news sources, watch a ton of porn, practice the piano a little bit, and try to grapple with the questions I can't answer. On rare occasions I'll play a video game or watch a movie or, in a blue moon, a show. I find the latter things to be boring, usually. To be honest, I am much more content with my life now a days than I used to be, but there's still a hole in my life that I'm not quite sure how to fill.
>>8028601
the only way to overcome this is to go and try it and accept you're going to fuck it up to begin with.
I remember i was trying to find essentially a formula of how to be a good guy while watching porn and doing nothing all day and it leads to this awful split and the amount of shame you naturally embody makes it so that the level of social perfection you feel you need to attain gets greater and greater till it's insurmountable and you are stuck.
This is like essentially all other growth and it's based in real evidence not just me spouting:
You go into unknown territory, that forces you to learn, you realise you have capabilities you thought you didn't have, you reframe what previously seemed next to impossible so it's normal for you, you increase your comfort zone.
And if you do things right you do not just stay there, you do the same process for everything else that you deem worthwhile.
This is how it works and I promise reading social books, no matter how many will only help you max 5%, the rest is the hard stuff.
The process you already know is what you have to to do but you wish there were an easier cop out. There isn't
>>8028628
What's your piano repertoire?
Favourite composers?
>>8028564
Nonexistence is at worst neutral where existence can and often is negative, and suicide is the only truly inalienable right.
>>8028628
Media is fun but ultimately it's no substitute for human interaction. You ever consider going to see an orchestra? Recordings can't replicate the huge sound of a live orchestra in a good hall. I mean don't expect to meet anyone there (bunch of rich old people), but you have to be tangentially associated with at least one person who'd be interested in going with you, right?
Watch less porn.
>>8028646
He means there are much better ways to kill yourself, dummy
>>8028644
Right now, I am not very good at piano. I am about 30 pages away from completing the 140 page practice book which my teacher gave to me. It's taken me about 2 weeks to get to this point. I am usually an amateur guitar player, but I have background in cello from high school, so picking up the music theory automatically makes it very easy for me to progress on piano, the rest is muscle memory.
To be honest, I'm not really sure I have a favorite composer right now. I think my favorite composers in general though, are stravinsky, ligeti, schniitke, schoenberg, ravel, debussy, eric satie, bach, and most of all bela bartok and his string quartets. It's hard for me to choose a precise favorite, but I generally prefer works by those artists. I consider myself a light weight in classical music, and I really need to get into it more.
>>8028649
No, unfortunately I'm not really associated with anyone in my age group. I did see stravinsky's the firebird a couple weeks ago with my mom and aunt. You're right, the power of an orchestra, feeling your whole body be shaken by it is really amazing. You can't experience the power of the firebird to the fullest extent just sitting alone in your bedroom with headphones. The atmosphere of a concert is so relaxing, the total respect and silence for the performers, the way people dress, the beautiful interior of the concert hall, these are things which I love.
>>8028539
By /not/ dealing with the stupid, religious, morally arbitrary, destructive and egotistical.
>>8028628
You fried your brain on porn you dunce. That's a main source of your problems, right there.
>>8028681
I'll believe it when I see some empirical evidence.
