a fart in the wind

First things first: are you writer?

Second: I read your review, and although I didn't really look into the review itself, I have to say that I really detest the writing style. I don't often read movie reviews, but I thought yours literally made me feel labored to continue. I'm not really sure how to fix it, because it might just be the nature of the field, but I just couldn't continue on listening to someone set every scene for me without providing any points that were actually worthwhile.

So I guess, if you are to take away one constructive criticism from my reply, it would be that you are describing the film far too much and not analyzing enough.

>>8007009

I write fiction. This is my first attempt at a movie review and yours is the kind of feedback I need. Thank you. I'm going to write more and adjust the angles of approach based on feedback. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

I don't know if simply reviewing a movie is a big enough niche anymore. See, RLM reviews movies, but what they're really selling is fake friendship. TBF are playing video games, but they're selling fake friendship. You're already behind the times, man.

>>8007033

I hear you. But I'm not sure that would necessarily be the crowd I'm after. Right now, my short-term goal is to find a particular voice with which to write non-fiction. I like my fictional voice, but it's caustic and belligerent, and I don't want to use that in my reviews. I'm trying for something a little more subdued. I'm just not sure what it is yet and this was my first attempt.

Do you have any feedback on this particular review itself?

>>8007023
Also - "Are you writer?" is a meme made in response to someone making a post similar to your own and ending it, "I'm writer."

Welcome to /lit/.

>>8007057
Well now you've opened up the gates to your fiction and I want to read that too. Let's get comprehensive, friendo.

>>8006945
>at least one a week.

al least one *per week.

>>8007061

>Welcome to /lit/

I was warned I'd be bullied. But I like the feedback so far, so thank you.

>>8007073

>per

My mistake. I occasionally write 'should of' instead of 'should have,' too, and someone's quick to chew out my ass for it.

>>8007067

Here's a spurt of my fiction. 'A Good Poop is Hard to Find.'

http://pastebin.com/5VPBAzCT

If you're game for more, I'll show you something in progress that I hope to publish when it's complete.

>>8007094
Not bad for a story about a guy shitting in a sink, but too self-aware in comparison with some of the great autistic spectacles of copy-pasta yore.

Anyways, the review is sound and the expletives are justified, in this case.

>>8007189

>but too self-aware in comparison with some of the great autistic spectacles of copy-pasta yore

If you have anything on hand, man, I'm totally willing to see it. This /lit/ place. They told me there was some shit at this /lit/ place.

And thanks for the feedback. Between the feedback here and the mild ass chewout at /tv/, I'm going to try a different approach for the third review. My 'Midnight Special' one is already too far up its own ass to turn back now, so I'm just going to continue it in its current tone and wash my hands before the next one.

>>8007094
I really liked that story; it was a lot funnier than I expected a story about shitting in a sink to be. Great job, I hope you keep it up.