[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Home]
4chanarchives logo
Any merit to this?
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /lit/ - Literature

Thread replies: 9
Thread images: 2
File: iu.jpg (28 KB, 338x253) Image search: [Google]
iu.jpg
28 KB, 338x253
I wrote this a long time ago, when I was in high school:

-Anodos-

The light now fades, a sad night falls,
Expanding shades grow thin and tall.
A young man knows what must be done
As all light leaves and dark has won.

He starts to walk through hill and dale
Over choked up creeks and dead foxtail.
The old oak leaves crunch with fallen stem
As his scarred black boot walks over them.

All pitch now, but in light of day,
Those crunched up leaves were gold in fey.
These colours by noon in crimson hue
Show by dark a deep black-blue

A dry wind Southerly carries this sound,
In the hour birds hide or batter down.
All things run, or fear the wrath,
The waste of man; his prideful laugh.
But this one differs, his silence stays,
To hurt not land nor trees nor bays.

A young red squirrel takes a chance,
And sees one little man, lost in trance.
He walks without reason, rhyme or way
Toward the far cliff on the side of the bay.

His hair is dark and as are his eyes,
Hard in the dark as expansive night skies.
As if thinking of such, the man looks high,
Past trees, past clouds, to the Gourd in the sky.
It points North, in the heavenly dome,
As it did helping slaves to find freedom.

A cloud passed grim and covered the night
Darkness upon darkness, death of all sight
The man’s footsteps cease, the silence grows
As all things halt and time now slows.
And, as a shift, the moon returns
The birds murmur, the clouds have turned


The man starts again, now quicker in pace
As he hurries through that forsaken place
His actions of past, now set free
Will face the light of scrutiny.

He reaches a fork in the road up ahead
One offers escape, the other deep dread.
What did the Poet say upon this?
That the road less traveled did lead unto bliss?

His path goes on through darkened wood.
Hidden eyes watch to see what would
Transpire on this, this empire Dark,
That destroys the soul and damns the heart.

The trees now thin and the wind does blow
The sound of waves comes crashing slow
The cliff is near and he has found
He cares not more for light and sound
To end this pain is all he asks
But, as he rounds the bend, he gasps--

A deep blue ocean, dark and free
That goes forever, endlessly
With mountains of waves and crashing foam
And sunken ships with ghosts that groan
And bleached white birds flying o’ the sea
And the field of Heaven, eternally.

The man, now recovered, sits on a log
And fixes his mind on this impossible job.
The wood, white as bone, has shown him the truth
He is natural, organic, and will rot like a tooth.
And what’s natural does die and decay, as it must
For as Ash goes to Ashes, Dust goes to Dust.
>>
>>7982775

He stood and he walked to the ocean’s Great Gate
Where the Sea and the Sky meet in colors of slate.
And cursed the God he did not believe,
As he passed back and forth at the end of the eve.

But lo, in the West there came a strange thing
A crisp, sharp, clean breeze like the birth of Bright Spring.
That passed to and fro through the Oak and the Ash
And rolled that old log off the cliff with a splash
And the current took the wood, far out to sea
Where it roams with the Dutchman, endlessly.

And from now the East; gold in the sky!
Apollo was up and flaming on high.
Bright colors and bold he seemed to yell,
“Today is a day not meant for Hell.”

He saw bright water evenly full
Moving and groaning like a young Spanish bull.
For each strand of light hit each rising hill
And fell on those cliffs like a shark on it’s kill.

And the spray rose up and hit his chin,
But salt was already thick on that skin.
For tears, like torrents, came falling fast,
And he cried, but as now for this, not his last.

With hue upon hue and light upon light,
He honestly doubted the existence of night.

And he laughed and he breathed as he turned around slow
And walked away from that beauteous flow.
With light wind in his face and a sun warmed back
He walked to the path and picked up his sack.

As he strode to where the rock met dirt
And he knew he was glad that he was not hurt.
He never looked back as he walked through the wood
And took the road less traveled as he knew he should.

The gust from the West and light Orient
Should remind us all of gifts nevr’ spent.
And a better man said
And he said what he meant,

“Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.”
>>
it's not terrible but it's not good.

super cliche and derivative. work on your imagery and avoid using tired cliches, and vary up the prosody a bit so it doesn't sound like a sing song rhyme.

it's /imanedgyteenandthisisdeep/ tier, sorry.
>>
File: image.jpg (171 KB, 1264x864) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
171 KB, 1264x864
>>7982775
No discernible talent
>>
>>7982775
Talented but boring and trite. Flaccid and limp imagery. Masturbatory rhyming games within. Need to rebel against high school formulas and vary word choice. Surprise me.
>>
>>7982786

what is this picture and why is it arousing me so
>>
>>7982813
Frank Yang, something about how camera is a penis and vagina at the same time
>>
>>7982786
>>7982971
Unrelated, didn't that girl in that picture cheat on Frank?
>>
>>7982980
It was staged for video, also he met up with her in a recent video and made her cry.
Thread replies: 9
Thread images: 2

banner
banner
[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at [email protected] with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com, send takedown notices to them.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.