/lit triumphantly threw his backpack down and sat in his usual, favorite seat in the library.
"Yes! once again I'm the only one here on a Saturday morning. The neandrathols must have slept in after a night of barbaric hedonism"
/Lit took out his brand new Kindle and admired his smile in its reflection.
"only 6 of 8 gigs used. I need to step it up, lol! Let's see what my friends over at Reddit and Goodreads have to recommend for this summer's reading list."
As /Lit was adjusting his Fedora and loggin into his Goodreads account, he heard that dreadful sound that he ever so detested.
"Hehehe, stop it!"
"Come here baby. Let me see that ass."
/Fit sauntered in, head held triumphantly in the air, with one arm around what appeared to be a new girl.
"Ohh great," thought /Lit. "They always make so much noise.. All the laughing and having a good time. Don't they know a genius is trying to get some work done here?"
The smell of sex filled the air as /Fit and his new girl walked by, though /Lit could not identify it as such, being a 24 year old virgin himself.
To be continued....
Hey /lit, now that summer is rapidly approaching, how does it feel knowing that we over at /Fit are soon to be at the beach, girls in hand, whilst you all are on here arguing about which book is hardest and thus most desirable to read?
>>7922192
>Implying I leave the house
>>7922192
>neandrathols
your post is hard to read but it didn't make it desirable to do so. i suppose not being able to read has stopped you forming the realisation /fit/ is gay and will be sucking cock in a cottage this summer, but i thought the pictures would have made even an illiterate cop on to it.
>>7922203
*tips fedora*
Why would /fit/ and a cute girl be in the library on a Saturday morning? This reads like a very poor parody by someone who doesn't browse here very much.
>>7922192
kek as if your shitty board isn't filled with fat fucks thinking that they can lift and are attractive.
>>7922192
You and I both know /fit/ would be fucking a Greek statue.
10/10
It seems like you don't browse either boards.
/fit/ would probably say "y-you to" if a girl said anything to em
>>7922258
YOU'RE FUCKING A WHITE MALE
>>7922192
Quite fine. Opium and poetry > sex.
>/fit/
>with a grill
desu lads
>>7922192
Part Two:
"hehe stop it! Not here someone will see!"
"shhhhh you mean that dork over there? He's too busy with his math homework to notice"
/Lit was fuming at this point. "Physics is not math. It uses math but it is not math! It is the study of the laws of the universe. Of cause and effect. (Sigh).
Not that these two idiots would understand. They probably don't even browse /lit."
Meanwhile /Fit and his girlfriend were in a passionate embrace, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they were in a public place.
Not that it mattered. They were the Alpha male and female. They could do what they wanted to do without fear of reproach.
"Damnit! Not again! Another Saturday ruined. It was just me and Newton and he was teaching me his secrets but these two just had to come and ruin it. If I was not such an enlightened being
I would ask God what I had done to anger him."
/Lit loudly cleared his throat as if to announce his disapproval, but /Fit and his girl did not notice the invisible ghost glaring at them.
/Lit angrily grabbed his backpack and began his march of defeat out of what he had thought was his sanctuary.
To be continued....
Hey /Lit. It's me again. I am not against books or anything. It's just that if you guys would only lift weights and experience that surge of endorphins you would come to the realization that it is time to put down the book (you don't understand it anyway), put your Fedora away, and get your ass to the gym. You might even see a girl or two.
>>7922317
8/10, but you focused too much on the content and not the presentation. The neanderthal misspelling was a good one, but that's pretty much it.
>>7922317
>/Lit was fuming
Britbong detected.
Don't you have anything better to be doing on a sunny Thursday afternoon m8?
This tryhard shit is lame.
>>7922339
>Britbong detected.
Is fuming a British phrase?
>>7922317
>only lift weights and experience that surge of endorphins
no thanks I prefer heroin
>>7922339
>This tryhard shit is lame.
That's only because you didn't understand it. You need to read the background OP was influenced by- then you'll be able to fully comprehend where he was coming from. I suggest Thucydides, Hegel and Infinite Jest as a good starting point.
>>7922285
sauce pls
Ho-hum.
>>7922346
Well it's not an American one is it lad?
>>7922370
I wouldn't know.
Where the shitdicks *did* this ladposting come from, anyway?
>>7922370
Americans use that word, what the fuck are you on about?
>>7922285
The smell of Protein farts filled the air, as /fit/ thrust his member into his boyfriend's firm but willing hole once more. He rolled his head back in carnal ecstasy and as if it were returning to where it was always meant to go, he shot a viscous fat load into his boyfriend's anus. He quivered, he moaned and then, when all was said and done he opened his laptop and began a shit posting thread of /lit/.faggot
sex is for perverts
>>7922389
Yes, it is, although it's also a Londoner term. Probably other parts of Britain too. You definitely hear it here in the SE, at least.
>>7922317
/Lit quickly regretted his decision to leave the library. His home was over half a mile away and he dreaded walking.
"Damnit. Mom isn't home so she can't pick me up and the bus doesn't run on Saturdays. There is no way in hell I can walk over half a mile."
Breathing heavily from his overexertion, /Lit plopped his backpack on the ground and decided he would lay down for a bit. After all, he broke his personal record (250 steps taken) and deserved some respite.
As he gently drifted off to sleep, /Lit could still hear the laughter of /Fit and he girl, echoing in the distance of his imagination.
"Damn those two," thought /Lit, as he completed his transformation from consciousness to dreaming.
To be continued.
Well /Lit, I see you all have chosen to go ahead and focus on whether or not I am British as opposed to truly reflecting
on what I have to say. How does it feel knowing that whilst you strain your eyes and brain trying to understand some badly written book,
I will be in some girl's house, listening to her loud moans of ecstasy in my ear?
>>7922425
it's ok because sex is for perverts
This actually made me feel pathetic
Except I don't have shit taste in entertainment mediums
Vidya>Literature>TV and Films
>>7922425
>/Lit could still hear the laughter of /Fit and he girl
>he girl
so /fit/ is full of fags
>>7922444
nye's trips
You know there was a time when /lit/ and /fit/ were friends. I know this is bait, but those days were a lot more fun.
>not being /fit/ and /lit/
>>7922444
Pope's still Catholic.
>>7922453
Sounds like shitty masculinist "Stoicism" to me. You know the type -- conservative guys who want so badly to be seen as REAL MEN they cling on to traditional manly archetypes like the Romans, and aggressively auto-fellate themselves about it without actually reading anything.
>>7922443
0/10
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!
>>7922425
>Fit and he girl
Lmao that Freudian slip
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>/lit/
>kindle
>>7922192
>/fit/
>people interested in women
Choose one.
Was this supposed to be like a confederacy of dunces?
>>7922192
>/lit
>>7922317
this is just bad
>Kindle
>guy in pic is reading paperback
I remember when memes were funny and people actually put effort into them
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!
my girl and I read together after sex
IT'S /lit/ YOU FUCKERS
NEWFAGGOTS PLS GO STAY GO
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>7923112
>trolled
>>7922425
As /lit drifted even deeper into his peaceful slumber, visions began to arise.
Visions of stacks upon stacks of books rising before him. Philosophy books, University physics, Organic Chemistry,
The Great books of the Western world 54 book set. All were his.
The new book smell emanated from every dimension in this dream world. The potent rays of light bounced off the crisp and perfect
Pages and every page turned ever so perfectly, without the need to wet his finger with his tongue.
Just as /lit was preparing to delve into some William James, he heard a thump at the chamber entrance.
He placed his Pynchon autographed bookmark into the book and shut it, taking long strides to the chamber.
"hmm I wonder who it could be. Perhaps even Newton himself?"
Precum began to form in /lit's pants as he anticipated his surprise.
To be continued...
Hey /lit/ glad you are still with me.
I just got back from class, where I was flirting with females (those things you read about in your books only.) How does it feel knowing that whilst you are in the library, huddled in your own little corner and reading your advanced mathematics book in an attempt to distract yourself from your failed sexual game, that I am here surrounded by alpha females with my pick of the choosing?
>>7922192
/fit/ is a bully masturbating at his own muscle size and laughing at those who fail at the standards he ignorantly claims to be universal.
In other words, nobody gives a fuck about the chickens you've been eating for an year to get a muscle mass. Laughing at us for that just makes you more pathetic.
/lit/ arose at sunset and poured himself a shot of gin while he admired his huge stack of second hand paperbacks
"i can't believe some people use kidnles"
he went on the balcony and drank coffee and watched people for an hour or two thinking about the ineluctable modality of the visible and the differences between static and kinetic art
then he went inside and browsed /lit/ for 11 hours before going back to sleep
meanwhile /fit/ worked out in his room and watched taxi driver
>>7923191
>tfw you actually do this
I don't even know if this should make me feel bad or not.
>not being both /fit/ and /lit/
Enjoy your myopic view of the world cunts
The renaissance men will leave you behind when the revolution comes
>>7923160
But as he opened the door, /lit's smile quickly faded from his visage.
"No. This can't be," he thought to himself, or may have even spoke aloud. He couldn't remember
His brain was rattling and flailing trying to comprehend what was happening, for it was /Fit himself and yet another girl at his side who were standing at the door.
"Hey /lit! rumbled /Fit in his testosterone-filled voice. "You won't be needing this will ya?" as he pointed to /lit's nightstand, which had a lonely condom perched on top, from older times when /lit's mom told him that he should carry one around "just in case that special someone were to show."
"Get oooouuuuuuu...." /lit started to squeal, but was quickly cut off by /fit, who casually flung him aside and took his female prize along with him, the smell of sex once again filling the air.
"It's that danged smell again. I don't know what it is, but I like it!" thought /lit, as his defeated frame
Stooped even lower than his poor posture provided.
To be continued.
>>7923224
>tfw you actually do this
Which one?
>>7923225
lmao this post
>>7923274
>he went on the balcony and drank coffee and watched people for an hour or two thinking about the ineluctable modality of the visible and the differences between static and kinetic art
>then he went inside and browsed /lit/ for 11 hours before going back to sleep
Unfortunately I sometimes have days like this.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7923225
Bodybuilding and lifting heavy things is just for fucking toxic masculinity fucks!
>>7923309
It fucking is really fucking shitty and problematic t b h.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
top kek
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
ignatius is that you?
>>7923258
Who are you writing for?
>>7923258
Bumping for moar
>>7922192
>not sitting properly on public transportation
>public transportation
Why don't I live in the 1950s?
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
>>7925129
You need more content to get hooks, you'll have to do more of your creative writing.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7924991
>doesn't put her head in the oven
Not /lit/ related.
>>7923258
>>7925134
/lit tried to make the most of his problematic situation, for though he had read many books on lucid dreaming, he was yet to reach the stage where he could control them……or leave them at will.
“Sigh. Well at least I still have my books. Vagina is but a fleeting pleasure, whereas a good read can change one forever.”
/lit jammed his ear-plugs into his sensitive sensory organs, perhaps a little bit too hard, perhaps thinking a little too longingly about what was going on in the room adjacent his.
Thump! Thump! Bang! Clang!
/lit furiously glared towards the door, where /fit and his prize were loudly oblivious to all but their most carnal desires.
“For crying out loud! How barbaric! Love is nothing but a chemical reaction. It is fleeting and deceptive, for what is now lust will fade like my enemies before me and my Katana.
To be continued…
Good morning /lit. It’s me again. You are probably wondering why I am up so early. Well I like to go exercise early in the morning so I can have them endorphines rushing through my veins for the remainder of the day, whilst you all are still wanking it to anime and alt-tabbing into your World of Warcraft battleground.
>>7922444
The Freudian slip is real
>>7925150
What exactly are you hoping to achieve with this?
>>7925150
That image is too anti-/fit/, you're mixing your messages now.
>>7925150
This is probably the worst parody I've read on /lit/.
Ah a fedora... think I'll pick it up and place it on my head Lol.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
I am really really confused as to who is writing this and why
is this double false flagging or what
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7925150
With casual joviality /fit and his girl limped from the now vacant room, fumes of pheromones and sweat dissipating into the air, filling /lit’s nostrils and instigating once again something primal within him but that something which he could not directly identify with, for he was a virgin past his prime.
/lot caught a glimpse of the girl’s heavenly and adorable breasts as they moved with her steps, like jello recoiling from a jolt.
“Fuck! “ thought /lit, as that familiar pang made its presence known, first in his belly region but then slowly making its way southward. That dreadful throbbing and aching, ever present pain that only went away with the swift work of /lit’s hand.
“My friends at Nofap are going to be so disappointed in me. I promised them no more masturbating!”
But /lit could not help himself. He was only human, and he had just seen standing before him what he had only before seen reflected from his lifeless computer screen.
To be continued.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>it's a /fit/ bullies /lit/ thread
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
>>7922192
Not bad. I can't say I will miss the beach, but I do want a cute girl for a relationship. I don't need sex, I'm just kinda lonely.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922365
That's classified
ugh this thread is still up?
I just joined from reddit r/booktubers and even I am annoyed by OP
does sage work on this board?
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
>>7922220
>fit
>hanging out with a cute girl
>not 'miring his bro's bod instead
OP clearly hasn't browsed both lit and fit enough to write a good copypasta.
>>7922361
/Lite me up literal schooler
>>7922285
wow these guys are really ugly
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7927017
You'll find a big bear someday little twink
>>7922317
>/Lit not reading Finnegans Wake, Ulysses, IJ, or GR
Confirmed for not knowing /lit/ board culture. 2/10
>>7926984
where does that picture come from?
>>7922203
top kek
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Illustrate to me how many of /lit/s users suffer from OCD/wishful thinking.
This makes me wet
>>7922361
>Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!
>>7922361
Enlighten me literary scholar
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
>>7926814
Sweat oozed from /lit’s wrinkled forehead, the aftermath of what had to be done.
“Fuck!” /lit’s voice echoed off to noone in particular.
“Why am I so weak? When I am in my books I feel so strong, but just one look at that pretty rose and I was all to mush. That throbbing in my pants overtook my motivation to learn and I could think of nothing other than to relieve that dull, aching sensation.”
/lit was coming to the realization that it was time for change. He flung his book across the room, it being propelled by the force of /lit’s sexual frustration.
to be continued.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922192
You don't have any Neanderthal DNA that means you're black.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me,/Literary Scholar.
>>7922192
>implying /fit/ gets girls
/fit/ is basically /r9k/ with more homoerotic undertones and occasional, very occasional fitness advice. Also roiding.
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922203
this was harder to read than OP
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
i dont know about you fags, but ive never liked the beach, girl in hand or not. the one memorable time i had was a massive and amazing game of beach football
>>7928815
"Where do I even start?" pondered /lit, for all he knew were books. They were his friends
but now he was turning his back on them.
He felt a pang of guilt like a hot dagger twisting in his kidneys. All he knew, or thought he knew.. alas, was of no use to him.
No GF, not even a brief or accidental caress of the hand of his laboratory partner in his Chemistry class.
"I know where I'll go" thought /lit, as he fumbled in his bookmarks for that special place to turn to.
"My friends over at /TheRedPill will know what to do."
And so /lit sat down and with a furrowed brow of determination, set forth on his new journey.
"Women are sluts!"
"Alpha fucks and beta bucks!"
/Lit cringed at the level of intellect on display, or lack thereof. He was used to the sweet poetry of rational logic that could only be set down on paper
by those, like he, with a superior intellect.
"Ugh.. Just yesterday the words of Descartes was caressing my brain and now this?! This is what I must do in order to succeed in this barbaric world?"
To be continued
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
>>7922192
Why don't we just agree that anyone can stick their face in a book and anyone can do pushups, but it takes a real faggot to taunt people about it on the internet.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Lit Scholar
>>7930111
Or a true friend trying to help others see their mental complexes with humorous rusing
>>7922361
Enlighten me, Scholar of Enlightenment.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /lit
>>7922361
Enlighten us, /Lit Scholar
>>7930058
and though it repulsed /lit to his core, he continued on, knowing that what is not comfortable at first becomes familiar with repetition.
“Alpha Fucks! Beta Bucks!”
“How to make it out of the Friendzone. 10 easy steps!”
What /lit did not understand, however, was that reading was not enough. In order to truly acquire knowledge, one had to APPLY what one read.
/lit’s flickering screen had taken its toll on his wearisome eyes. His fatigued brain longed for something new.
/lit unsheathed his Katana, and swung it masterfully through the air. Slicing several imaginary characters with powerful yet precise thrusts.
“Hey /lit! What ya doen?” came a voice from behind /lit, completely flustering his meditative trance, causing him to do what no Samurai would ever do…. to drop his Katana
To be continued.
Hey /lit.. /fit here. Today is Sunday. The good lord says we should take a day off and so today will be the day. Though my penis shall not. How does it feel knowing that whilst you admire authors long dead, I will be admiring the pretty, petite, pheromone filled camel toe innie of a gymnast girl?
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7932034
Five bait posts in a row with no response, good work.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7925428
My take is that it's a troll from /r9k/ trying to troll /lit/ by pretending to be /fit/ and spouting things that trigger /r9k/ because they actually know nothing about /lit/
I mean, maybe it's making our resident dumb frogposters mad? Maybe they're the target, and it's a bored /lit/ fella angry at the raids of /r9k/ so he's trying to make them mad by pretending to be /fit/?
The only thing I know for sure is that this ain't /fit/
>>7922361
Enlighten me, Literary Scholar
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar!
>>7932061
>The only thing I know for sure is that this ain't /fit/
nah it's prolly a /fit/ /lit/ xposter who got buttmad over some nerds calling him a meathead.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar
I'm not quite sure why the protagonist of the silly false flag attack is so enamored by the sciences.
The poster either has no idea or a very good idea of the average /lit/ aesthete.
Enlighten me, /Lit Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me /Fit Scholar
>>7922361
Enlighten me, lit scholar
>>7922203
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
Fedoren man, Fedoren man!
I cannot hate you,
Just Pete Pan!
Liftenblort!
Liftenblort!
Liftenblort!
Also: A submarine of blauen Corderoy!
enlighten me scholar of wiseness
>>7932034
"lol playing Samurai warrior again, are we?" bantered /fit, his grin so wide his eyes squinted tightly like the Asian women /lit so coveted.
“you can’t just watch youtube videos and expect to become an expert, just like you can’t just read books all day and expect to become enlightened.”
/lit’s heart pounded against his chest, the rhythmic sucking and pushing taking the forefront of his perception.
“leave me alone. Why aren’t you out with your girlfriend getting stoned at some party or something? I was perfectly happy with my books until you decided to show up and ruin it all. go away!”
/fit let out a roaring laugh, though a good natured one. He glanced at /lit, with those piercing eyes, and /lit felt that throbbing again in his pants.
To be continued.
good morning /lit. /fit here. I see that once again whilst I got some real writing done this weekend you all were shitposting about what font to use on your 10 year old kindle, or how to meet girls since you were not accepted into school. How does it feel knowing that whilst you are straining your eyes at your monitor, trying to read the specs on the new e-reader of the day, I am straining to resist letting out a roaring orgasm, waking up my girlfriend’s sorority sisters, and turning a 2some into a 10some?
>>7922361
Enlighten me. Enlightened me
>>7922361
enlighten me, lit scholar.,
>>7922425
How big do you think Scooby's dick is?
>>7936432
bout tree fifty
>>7922361
Enlighten me lit scholar.
>>7922361
enlighten us scholar.
>>7922192
"Working out" is so whitetrash. You are laughed at by more than the /lit/s of this world, pal.
>>7937670
All the rich people are into yoga, fitness, and sports. It's not cool to be fat, brah, unless you're in India.
>>7922317
>The gym
Of you could get /fit/ by being outside. Much less pathetic than being an iron rat.
>>7937686
"Working out" to me means weight lifting, getting swoll. the fitness/sport side of it is just normal human behavior
On an mundane afternoon /fit/ arrives home from the gym, fresh from his post-workout shower, endorphins surging through his vacuous brain from his tough GOMAD routine as he stands in front of the hallway mirror admiring his reflection for several minutes. Over the last six months he's made steady progress at lifting progressively heavier objects, and the results are visible. He's very proud of this indeed. After reluctantly pulling himself away from the mirror, he swaggers to his computer desk, on which there is a small stack of miscellaneous books, ranging from pop-history to pop-philosophy. These he glances at contemptuously for a few moments; he had tried reading them, and had actually succeeded in finishing some to completion, but no matter what he always found them difficult and boring. But just like he did with exercise, he forced himself to read them for the sake of a vague concept which occupied a large part of his thought which he termed 'self improvement', treating them only as self-help guides. They would make him appear 'more interesting' and intelligent he thought. He, who could scarce get down a morsel, bought, and set himself to swallow, whole treatises; and so he threw them up again, unable to digest them; and then came colics, fluxes, and fevers in the form of purile and poorly-written nonsense, which every time he posted on the chinese cartoon discussion board he frequented, caused the other posters merely laughed at him, or worse, to ignore him. He, who had achieved so much! Books he concluded, were not all that important anyway, and anyone who claimed to enjoy and understand them did so only because they were psuedo-intellectuals. These thoughts straining his vain and under-developed mind, he wakes his computer from hibernation with a frown, snorting inwardly and thinking "I'll show them!" as he opens the /lit/ catalog...
>>7937967
to laugh*
automatic spellcheckers should be illegal
>>7937965
>weight lifting, getting swoll
Rich people do that now. They want bigger butts or six packs and shit like that.
>>7935995
/fit glanced down and noticed the small protuberance stirring in /lits tighty-wighties and let out a hearty laugh.
“What do we have here, /lit? Did I, umm, interrupt something?”
lit’s blood began to boil, his face burning with hatred. He slyly eyed the katana that had fallen only inches away from his feet. For once in his life, /lit was going to follow through with something. He took a deep breath and solidified his resolve. He maintained eye contact with /fit’s burning and passionate eyes as he slowly bent forward to pick up his fallen katana when from the hallway roared a voice…
/lit get your ass down stairs now! I told you to clean up your room and you ignored me. Don’t try to deny it. I heard you cursing all night long at your computer. Something about the Horde always losing and Monks being over-powered. I’ll show you over powered. Get down here now! You are getting a spanking!
To be continued…
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me literature
>>7922361
enlighten me scholar.
>>7923309
I want all numales to die.t
>>7935995
>not killing /fit/ with one swish of the great samurai blade
>not claiming his woman
>>7922203
>>7922361
enlighten me scholar.
>>7938050
/lit trembled with trepidation, but not of the same sort he felt while standing in line at the comic book convention to get Captain Picard’s autograph. No.. this was a different type of disquiet.
“lol. Catch ya later, fag” laughed /fit as he and his muscular physique bounded out the window into the cool, breezy night, leaving behind once again that sweet sweet smell of sex, of vagina smeared all over his body.
“I said get your ass down here NOW!” /fit’s mom howled like Wharf, when challenged by an enemy Klingon.
To be continued.
>>7922361
kek
>>7938975
This is not good satire tbqh
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
enlighten me lit schollar
>>7938975
>>7939120
“sigh… This is not my best lucid dream, tbqh,” /lit mumbled under his breath, which bounced off the ether and into his nose, reminding him that he had not brushed his teeth in over a week.
“Yes mommy! comming!”
/lit tried to leap on one foot like the Samurai he had seen on Youtube earlier that night, but his untrained body was not expecting this command from his brain, and he slipped on his jizz rag, which he had forgotten to put a way, and smacked his head loudly on the floor.
Thump!!!
“Damnit son! You better not be up there playing your Universe of WarCraft or whatever the fuck it’s called boy! Don’t make me come up there!”
/lit pushed him self up. To him it seemed that he had done so quickly, like a sleek crosfitter, when objectively his muscles only allowed for a tortoise like pace.
to be continued..
Good morning, /lit. hope you all have a nice day.
>>7922361
enlighten me, /lit scholar.
>>7922361
enlighteneth me lit scholar.
>>7922361
enlighten me fit scholar.
>>7940028
Very funny, please continue.
>>7940028
>>7942290
Crash! Bash! Blast! Slam! Crash! Hit after hit fell upon poor /lit’s untrained body. Somewhere deep inside, even his DNA sighed deeply, knowing it was not meant for such a pitiful life.
The scene before /lit’s eyes began to melt. Was he dying? Was this it? Was there really a God and, if so, was he about to meet him?
With a start, /lit realized that he was awake again, a large scrubby-looking dog forcefully taking an endless piss upon lit’s face while /lit had been laying there unconscious.
“Ugh! Disgusting!”
/lit kicked at the dog, but missed. The dog deftly dodged the pitiful attack and ran off, but almost seemed to do so with a smile upon his face. Even the dog had gotten on up /lit this time.
to be continued.
>>7922361
enlighten me lit scholar.
>>7922361
enlighten me lit scholar.
>>7922361
enlighten us
>>7945546
Your attempts at baiting now account for almost 50% of the posts in the thread.
>>7944002
lol nice meme
>>7922373
u can thank /int for the influx of lad, started a few years ago now
>>7922373
half the blame goes Brits using it genuinely
half the blame goes to the wew lad meme
>>7946054
what is lad mean?
>>7923289
How can you stand this place for 11 hours at a stretch?
>>7922192
It really doesn't matter...
I'll be up to my ass in bullshit at work.
God, I wish Obama would send us back to Iraq already....
>>7922395
W-what are protein farts?
>>7922220
right? /fit/ is generally seen as autistic
>>7944002
meanwhile, /fit leisurely walked out of the gym, another day’s workout conquered. His relaxed footsteps matched his restful mental state. He smirked as he noticed so many others, as they walked by, who seemed to be propelled by one too many caffeinated beverages. “Completely hysterical,” thought /fit. “If only these crazy people could calm the fuck down and take it down a notch or two. A good workout is the best medicine for anxiety, tension, and disease.”
A cute Asian girl wearing spandex shorts walked by and glanced at /fit’s crotch, with that all too familiar twinkle in her eye.
To be continued.
>>7948028
/fit's imagination too flight. Did the Asian girl have a beautiful innie?
Or did he have delicious roast beef lips, protruding from her hair pie to make
fit's favorite dish, the camel toe cake?
/fit, being the handsome testosterone-filled buck he was, hesitated not, and grabbed the
Asian girl by her spandex shorts, stretching them into her pleasure pit.
To be continued...
>>7922361
enlighten me, /lit scholar. please
>>7922192
This thread is still here? Jesus fucking Christ.
>>7948861
OP is trying very hard to show how autistic we all are.
Some insecure NEET who spends all his time on 4chan must have had his taste visciously shat on by /lit/, and now he's very upset. That's the only explanation I can think of for this thread still being here
>>7922361
enlighten me, /lit scholar.
>>7948869
pretty autism
>>7942290
patience grasshopper.
>>7949102
>That's the only explanation I can think of for this thread still being here
na 9/10 times it's just another /lit/ autist fucking with the younger knee-jerk posters on the board for easy replies. i can't really blame him when it's this consistently easy.
>>7951622
>>7948566
The Asian girl uncontrollably let out an audible moan, for her pleasure pit had never felt this way before. She was on her way to the library to meet her beta friend, /lit… but it could wait. For this was her chance to score the big one.
/Fit’s balls began to swell, like the whirlpools described in ancient texts. A slight erection gave him away, and he could tell it had not gone unnoticed by the cute Asian girl, who was unconsciously licking and biting her lips.
to be continued.
>>7951611
Usually but he's failing spectacularly to get any decent sort of response ratio to the number of times he's posted in the thread himself.
>>7922361
enlighten me, /fit scholar.
>>7922361
enlighten me lit scholar.
this is some good stuff. please continue
>>7954057
patience grasshopper
>>7951675
just then, /fit felt a rhythmic vibration emanating from his front pocket. It was one of his girlfriends.
“Shit. How the fuck do girls have this kind of uncanny timing?” It seemed that one girl or another was always calling at the most inopportune of times. Whether /fit was going for a number close or if he was sticking his tongue down a girl’s throat, there was always his phone, ring ring a ringing, reminding him that he was a player.
“I only got 6 girlfriends though, I need that 7th so I can say I got one for each day of the week! lol”
/fit silenced his phone and resumed attending to the cute Asian girl, whose camel toe was on display for the world, but mostly for fit, to see.
to be continued.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literacy Scholar.
>>7922361
enlighten me, lit scholar.
>>7955279
I like camel toe too. does that make me /fit?
>>7955813
what's cameltoe|?
>>7922361
enlighten me lit scholar.
>>7948028
is that Harold? didn't know he was a lit scholar. but he looks like one.
>>7955279
"ni hao ma?" said /fit, in his coy fashion. The Asian girl blushed, her spandex changing color with the addition of H20. "hehehe he ehehehehee. your Chinese is so Good!"
/fit's penis was fully erect now, as his instincts were in full swing. Billions of years of evolution came to this. It was time for action.
To be continued.
sup /lit, /fit here. Enjoying your weekend or are you shitposting on R9k about TfwNgf? I just got back from the gym, and I feel like a billion bucks. almost like an orgasm but it lasts and lasts for hours.
>>7922361
Enlighten me /literary scholar
so when do we get to hear about how large fits penis is? girl here.
>>7957635
Meanwhile, /lit was pulling his hair out at the library.
“Where is Ling Ling? She is already 15 minutes late. I read from the Red Pill forum that I should leave right now… but ohhh Ling Ling.. that beautiful black silky hair and that cute button nose! I guess I will wait another hour or two.”
“Ughhhh!! Ughhhh!!! Ohhhhh!!! Uhhhhh!!!” Ling Ling’s head bobbed and weaved, her facial features blurred by fit’s powerful thrusts. Her phone vibrated viciously nearby on the ground indicating the 30th missed call from /lit.
to be continued.
Morning /lit, /fit here. Gotta admit I made myself a bit horny there. Nothing better than a cute Asian girl squealing like a piglet. Hope you have a nice Sunday deciding on which model e-book reader is best.
I miss the halcyon days.
>>7924991
http://incaseart.tumblr.com/
>>7959472
“ughhhh ughhh Mommiiieee!!!!” Ling Ling howled, interspersed with guttural sounds no man had heard before. /Fit had found his rhythm now, his powerful arms easily holding him up as his hips thrust backward and foreword, changing tempo every once in a while so as to hear that wondrous wet slapping noise as wet skin banged upon wet skin. /fit glanced down so he could get a better look at Ling Ling’s beautiful mound, her lips spasmodically gripping in tune to her rolling orgasms.
To be continued
>>7959490
Now I know why /lit/ is what it is. Thanks for the feels.
>>7922361
enlighten me lit scholar.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.god, I am such a whore for these
>>7922361
enlighten me /lit scholar.
>>7959715
The more animalistic Ling Ling’s screams and moans became, the more turned on /fit became and the harder he slammed his body into hers, until a switch flipped somewhere mysterious that signaled Fit to explode deep inside her now gaping hole. With a deafening roar /fit thrust once more, and stayed……..completely deep….and pressed up against her mound…. Until his tremendous throbbing subsided. With a luxurious sigh, /fit laid upon the still trembling Ling Ling.
To be continued.
Damn /lit. looks like I gave myself a bonder. But unlike you all I don’t wank it to porno movies all day long.. I have some self control.
>>7960715
>Shit prose
>Shit grammar
>Shit allusions
>Shit philosophy
Very Spooky
>>7960715
how mature
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Fit Scholar.
I just want to say I've thoroughly enjoyed every shitpost in these thread and I thank you all for this experience
>>7960715
>>tfw when the only two boards you frequent are /lit/ and /fit/
>>tfw when you're natty, slathered with women, and more than well-read
>>tfw when you were alive for this thread
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7961720
I would like this thread a lot more if OP was good at writing or familiar with /lit/ culture.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, literary scholar.
>>7962019
True, but you can't ask 4chan for much. Well, you can, but you'll usually unironically be given the exact opposite of what you requested. With that in mind, I'll take I'll take all the organically formed magic I can from this damned place.
>>7922361
Enlighten me, /Literary Scholar.
>>7922361
"Enlighten me, /Fit scholar
>>7960715
“For crying out loud, the library closes in 15 minutes.. where is Ling Ling!?” muttered /lit as he dialed her number for the infinite time. “We were supposed to finish our Chemistry lab together just like she promised… I’m always pulling 90% of the weight in that class and all she does is prance around and giggle like a schoolgirl and act cute… (sigh) though it does melt my heart. I’m a sucker for pure girls I guess”
“Uhh.. hello?” a very feeble and weakened voice sounded through /lit’s phone.
“sorry. I felt kinda sick today and could not make it to the library. I lost my phone or else I would have called to let you know”
and Ling Ling was not completely lying, for she could not walk and felt dizzy when trying to stand up… still quivering from her experience.
“oh that’s ok! I’ll just e-mail you my results.. we can do it next time!” said /lit triumphantly.. for Ling Ling had answered his call.. a win in his book.
/lit’s face glowed, as he walked out of the library by himself… convinced that he and Ling Ling were, in fact, getting closer after all.
morning /lit. I'm late for my workout.. shit.. gotta get there before the DYELs arrive and hog the equipment. hope you have a nice day.
>>7922192
/lit/ and /fit/ awoke to chirping birds and sunshine through the glass. The curtains were promptly closed.
/lit/ slept in, he had no job and his parents weren't up yet to make him breakfast. /fit/ did his morning exercises, drank his milk, showered. He dressed for wage-work, feeling his hard lumps of muscle over his clothes.
/lit/ got up when the curtains could no longer keep out the sun. His mother had prepared his breakfast and left for work. He noted with disdain the quality of her handiwork, though he himself had never cooked in his life and probably never would. After "breakfast" he returned to his room and locked the doors. There was no one in the house, yet this made him feel psychologically secure. He returned to his bed, picked up a book on the floor by the side of the bed, and started to read.
The book urged a return to conservative moral values, or it rejected moral values, or it suggested moral values. /lit/ never acted on what he read. He read for aesthetics. He read for pleasure. /lit/ tended to agree with whatever he read, so long as the title of it was unknown to the general public, for then he could claim victory in any argument presented to him, by appeal to authority. He waited for such a day, when a representative of the ignorant masses, the wandering hedonist, full of smiles and lies, reeking of pleasure and therefore, ignorance would come to him and challenge him.
But that day never came. /lit/ was shy. He was quiet. He overheard outlandish opinions and platitudes, on the train, in his university (when he still attended), among his peers (though he did not consider them so) but had never engaged them. He justified this with the thought that such effort was not worth his time, and he returned to his books, ever increasing his understanding of the world, the word, his worth. His books urged a return to moral values, or rejected them or suggested them. Sometimes he did not understand his books, but that was OK. Boxes had to be ticked, elements crossed of off lists.
/lit/ masturbated frequently. Usually, when he took breaks between reading he would browse the web, and often he encountered images which riled up his libido. And, despite all the books he had read on disciplining the mind, on moral virtue, and despite his spitting, cross-eyed hatred of hedonism -- well, he justified it as a primal biological urge, inescapable, no different than eating or sleeping. Often these spells of pleasure started from an image on 4chan.
/fit/ spent his work day doing minimum work for minimum wage. He felt good when women glanced at his chiseled body, better if it was a man. But, like /lit/, superiority in one way did not cure his "shyness". He returned home having said no more than 6 words the entire day -- the same as /lit/. Although exhausted from the mind-numbing tedium, he lifted weights until the night, drank his protein shake, watched some well-selected anime and finally, and inexorably, went on 4chan.
1/2
>>7963289
2/2
These two men, the one higher by his intellect, the other by his physique, they both sat down when the sun had set, and browsed a chinese cartoon image board. Perhaps, in some crevice or fold of their brain, they felt guilt or shame at their nature. What they did not know was that the nature of these two men were, fundamentally, the same: a vicious cycle of self-fulfillment unrealized, forever perpetuating their need for betterment. Better bodies, better minds, more weights, more books. They wanted to be loved. But intellect could win no friends. And physique won the "wrong" ones. So they kept to their masturbatory activities, erected facades in their minds, and forever and forever, browsed 4chan
>>7922361
Fit scholar, help me fit scholar. enlighten me so that I can decipher the most difficult of texts.
>>7922192
>/fit/
>saturday morning
>not trying to find the will to get out of bed after going through a shitload of snapchat sotries and instagram posts of his 'friends' having fun, after a night of playing vidya and cheating on his diet cause he just doesn't want to go out and would much rather stay in and chill but actually he would love to go out if someone included them in their plans.
>>7963111
/lit, still soaring from his “success” with Ling Ling, floated through the doorway and flung his backpack on the floor. He was eager to share his happiness with someone but alas, he had no real friends, so he resorted to the next best thing… his Chinese cartoon home, where he could share his feels with many others.
“Hey guys! TWF finally got a GF!!!” wrote /lit, and he chose his most clever painting of a frog stroking its face..
to be continued.
>>7922328
I don't want to be shot by Mersault
>>7922361
enlighten me! fit scholars!
>this thread is still up
>books are for faggots
Great job, /ft/.
>>7965336
Isn't /fit/ objectively the gayest board?
