Can you critique this?
The leaves were green splashed with gold; the sky was baby blue, and clouds as if snow was floating above the world. The sun lit up the world like a candle lights a room and revealed it’s mix of bright greens, yellows and blues. Every now and then, the still warm air was interrupted by a generous cold gust of wind coming from the East. The field was clean and trimmed. If a person were to rub their foot on the grass, they'd hear a soft squeaking noise as if it was a polished wooden floor. Deep down in the oceans, coral reefs glittered with fantastical array of colors; deep reds, bright yellows and passionate pinks, like a bouquet that spreads throughout the world.
Yes.
The author is so unobservant and narcissistic that he didn't even post in a critique thread that he'll never write anything of value. Kill yourself/10
>>7868074
It's good, you have beautiful prose that still needs working on but it's a lot better than most garbage that gets posted on this board. How long did it take you?
Ignore this guy he's a pleb and probably visits /pol/ and reads Game of Memes.
>>7868086
You seem to be a thoroughly intelligent and competent individual. Good job understanding how to use the board.
>>7868091
>>7868077
Why are you all bullying me???
>>7868098
It's still just me and you in this thread, OP. What the fuck are you doing?
>>7868074
> If a person were to rub their foot on the grass, they'd hear a soft squeaking noise as if it was polished wooden floor
Apart from that bit it, I liked it. I would instead say something like "the grass underfoot produced/sounded etc..." - the original seems a bit clunky and disrupts the flow imo
The amount of samefagging in here is so ridiculous it's actually impressive, good job OP.
Critiquing abstract descriptive stuff is pointless though, as descriptions only carry weight when seen from the eyes of a character. Otherwise congrats you have a thesaurus on hand.
Go post in the critique thread.
