>walk into Agamemnon's tent
>floor is covered with wine
>dude must've dumped like 9 caskets
>he kills four live animals before I can even speak
>pours me wine
>makes me dump it on the ground
>traces my entire family geneology everytime he speaks to me
>leave with fourteen tripods and a bowl
>die the next day
>mfw
Trojan war general I guess
Agamemnon was the world's first cuck. Or maybe that was Menelaus.
>Here Agamemnon is back
>Walk into his house to congratulate him
>floor is covered in wine
>dude must have dumped like 9 caskets
>oh wait that's blood
>Shit he's dead
>>7858165
Adam was the world's first cuck
>tfw u get expelled from paradise
>because you listened to a woman
>tfw u regret immediately
>>7858206
Cain was the world's first alpha
>realized murder was a spook
>realized God himself was a spook
>did whatever he wanted for practically 900 years
>>7858165
I think it was Menelaus. Correct me if I'm wrong but Aegisthus seduces Cyltemnestra after Agamemnon had gone to the Trojan war.
>>7858438
Agamemenon tried to cuck Achilles and failed miserably, making him a cuck
>be me, from Thrace
>fighting Achaeans in defense of Troy
>don't even give two shits about this shitty city
>my armour and the will of the gods make me feel pretty safe though
>always keeping my eyes peeled for spears or threatening sword thrusts
>see giant boulder
>decide to take cover behind it for a sec
>mfw Ajax crushes me with boulder
>>7858823
Are posting this greentext from Hades? How is it like?
>>7858828
Are you*
>>7858833
>mfw go to hades and can't talk to living humans unless they sacrifice some goats and let me have some of the blood
>been fighting Troy for 10 years
>no fucking point, Helen's ugly now anyway
>finally sack the shithole
>get a tripod, a few bowls, some bitches
>Ajax an heros
>pussy
>time to head home
>finally.jpg
>Odysseus says he wants to stop first and get more plunder
>more plunder
>mfw
>>7858165
There was a lot of cucking between most early gods in all mythologies
>>7858242
or God himself
>Hector cucked by his murderers son
>>7858989
Would DFW survive the Trojan war?
>>7858989
probably, just because the gods want to bug him with irony.
>>7859156
I feel as tough Joyce and Pynchon would do fine, but DFW would end up stuck by lightning.
>>7859205
DFW would probably just be another Paris
>>7859205
"...but the gods would not grant Big Dave another day, and standing sweaty amongst the Trojans he went down by Diomedes shaft, and there is something terribly sad and banal about that..."
post more greentexts, these are funny as FUCK
>>7859252
Nah he'd be more like Ajax, he who also an-hero'd because of an overwhelming self-consciousness of inferiority
Who was the true Alpha, Achilles or Agamemnon?