>>7840193
read all of them

>>7840194
>read
cry

What's with /lit/'s enthusiasm for the Bible? It's really not that good.

>>7840219
careful, you might go to heck

>>7840221
If God is all powerful, why does he have traits of weakness like getting upset when people don't worship him? That seems pretty immature and unattractive to me. Also, why does he identify as male? Everything I've heard in regards to the Christian god seems like the opposite of what I think of when I think of God. He's like an upset, angry child who throws temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. Also, the Bible sounds like the insane ramblings of some emotionally fucked up weirdo who has no friends and needs psychiatry.

Ecclesiastes is the only one with actual literary value.

The rest is absolute garbage and only valued because it's in muh influential holy book. Do you know how plebby it is to consider something important because it's popular? Dumbfucks.

>>7840219
>>7840193
>>7840193

Some /lit/ user has posted a /lit/ bible crash course, but regrettably I don't have it. The western canon, theist and atheist, scientist and poet, is suffused with KJV language and metaphor. You will understand shit that you would not otherwise have understood, if you know certain Bible verses, stories, etc. It's better to know the stories than not, even though yes, the prose is plodding and a bunch of begats in certain places. In others, the prose is very simple, and, I'm going to invoke the five-dollar word --- sublime.

OP, do the first few books to get the creation and the moses story, see where the jews are coming from. Then the Gospels for the jesus stories, and Revelation for eschatology. Jonah is like, a page, so do that too - that's a large chunk of what the image said, anyway, and it makes sense.
Sprinkle in Psalms, Job for God just being a dick more than usual, and Song of Solomon aka Song of Songs, which Christians in my experience like to tout as proof that the bible isn't all blood and guts, and has nice things to say about sexual love. Ecclesiastes for some quasi-nihilistic edgy r9k feels (which must eventually give way to loving God, just a guess).

I'm going to estimate that KJV and Shakespeare coined a large percentage of English-language colloquialisms, sayings, &c, now used reflexively and without understanding of their origins. ( "un-real" comes from Shakespeare IIRC, as one example) I would be interested in seeing that combined list.

>>7840273

I'm a full fedora and even I know that this is a puerile opinion. And no, I don't wish to ingratiate myself with Christians, or prove how tolerant/cultured I am, etc. You're just full of shit is all.

>>7840292
Have fun pretending to enjoy thousands of pages of tedious, repetitive, and self-aggrandizing sand people stories.

>>7840300

I like how you were immediately reduced to this after I pre-emptively shut down your predictable retort. You don't even sound mad anymore, kek. Low-Energy.

As for all the Begats, you just skip those ya dingus. Then you can read the smitings and the Ezekiel hallucinations and the metal shit. or the lovey stuff if you're in the mood.

>>7840320
Honestly I just pity anyone who makes themselves read the bible because they think they should or something.

Proverbs, senpai

>>7840194
this tbqh. sorry.

For OT read Genesis and Exodus,
along with Kings, Psalms, and Song of Solomon.
NT read the gospels.
These are my personal favorites.