Published writer here, ask me anything
Are you relevant enough for anyone in this image board to know who the hell are you?
>>7747530
Do you prefer honey nut cheerios to the original?
>>7747530
why you such a sellout bitch?
>>7747530
No one cares, genre fiction fag
How many copies have you sold and how much money have you made?
Did she ever really love me? Am I deserving of love? Is anyone?
>>7747530
is your dad proud of you?
>>7747548
>because i want as many people to read and enjoy my work as possible. the money was just icing on the cake.
>doesn't show off his book
liar.
>>7747530
Have you ever used a self-insert?
If so, would you do so again?
>>7747548
Go write your shit fantasy lit, faggot.
Please go away.
>>7747530
Fuck off, Gaiman.
>>7747550
hell yes. the main character of my frist and most popular book was self-insert as hell and people loved it. people only knock on self-inserts because the bad ones are mary sues. my self-insert had no amazing qualities besides being a sad sack.
>>7747552
i despise fantasy, it's more drama
>>7747554
maybe some day
Who's your favorite author?
>>7747566
i barely read, but i love the shit out of andy warhol's 'the philosophy of andy warhol' book
>>7747569
>meaningless platitudes
if you want your writing to be seen by everyone possible, post it here.
>>7747561
it's obviously tao
>>7747576
nah, i prefer meaningless compliments to meaningless insults
>>7747579
This. No other author would actually come here.
Pynchon?
Is it really you?
>>7747579
nope, never to school for writing
>>7747530
OP is a tripfag. There is nobody here who can claim to be him. He is not a published writer.
>>7747569
>i never made a career out of writing, writing made a career out of me.
>>7747584
those buck teeth would prevent one from being able to give a proper blowjob, so if I was him I'd have killed myself years ago. in short, no.
>>7747580
well, since you've been clearly caught in a lie already, why should anyone believe that you're a published author? god I hate liars. fuck off already.
>>7747596
if you don't believe me, at least make up a funny insult to along with it, 'liar' is so boring
Do you write a diary?
>>7747597
I'm a homosexual, and you're a faggot. Stick around and continue to show the difference.
>>7747599
i'm not insulting you to be amusing. you're a liar. insincerity is genuinely disgusting, and your writing is likely trash as well, i reiterate: fuck off.
>>7747575
Oh brother.
>>7747530
What's your favorite food?
>>7747553
So does you not paying attention to the money mean that you have fuck-you money or that you don't make enough for it to matter?
What is your age
So..how exactly can one check and measure his progress as a writer? How did you understand you were improving?
>>7747603
I've kept one for years and write in it sporadically. it's been a few months since I've last regularly write in it.
>>7747620
*oh honey
>>7747604
the only difference here is that I love being a faggot and you clearly don't.
>>7747622
i'll eat anything, but i love sweets and really juicy meat most of all. that wasn't meant to be an inuendo.
>>7747629
at first the latter, but now i make a decent amount. i quit my day job but i'm not bill gates. i don't care about being rich, anyway, as long as i have enough to pay the bills and buy weed, i'm content.
>>7747606
whether you are or aren't, might as well have some fun regardless.
>>7747530
Wow, so Joshua Cohen still posts here huh?
>>7747641
>I've kept one for years and write in it sporadically. it's been a few months since I've last regularly write in it.
Post some excerpts. If you aren't willing to post your book, you could at least post some of that.
>>7747636
young enough to look for a sugar daddy but not old enough to be one
>>7747639
ask a lot of people to read your stuff and take all of the (valid) criticism. a large part of it, though, is being content with your writing. i know the cliche is that writers will always hate what they write, but that's bullshit. obviously, i'm not telling you to be a pompous asshole, but if you write things that you like more often than you write things that you think is shit, you're getting there. most of it is just writing and writing, over time you'll get better at it. it isn't really a science, though. when in doubt, get people to read it. this works better if they've been reading your work for a while/read old and new work so they can see the difference. what kind of stuff do you want to write? what, do you think, is your main issue? post some work? I'll give as much help as i can (not that I'm some master etc)
>>7747658
Is your only source of income from the books you write?
>>7747575
is this irony?
>>7747658
Thanks. Sound advice.
When one does Finnish a novel/novella, what is the best way to get it published? I have built a sizable Instagram following for my artwork and think I could use this in some way.
>>7747663
He seems like a moron, so, probably not.
>>7747644
there's nothing interesting in it, unless you're dying to be privy to my personal life.
>>7747662
right now, yes. i live with my husband, and he has a job. we make enough to support ourselves and have fun in our free time.
>>7747663
i guess so. i read to enjoy books, i don't read to study. i don't see the point. why would i read something just to learn how other people do something that's subjective to begin with?
>>7747664
no problem. it's been a while since i first contacted publishers and what not, so i'm probably not the best person to ask. i know it sounds like i'm deflecting this, but just google it. there's more straightforward tutorials and whatnot out there. you don't really have to know anyone, this isn't like the hollywood acting business.
>>7747665
damn right i am
>>7747642
he did in the first place? how'd that go?
>>7747679
>there's nothing interesting in it, unless you're dying to be privy to my personal life.
Well yeah. I'm interested in a published author. Isn't that the whole point of this thread? You can of course remove any details that might identify you.
>>7747698
;^)
hi. i'm a published author. ask me anything, except my name, my tastes in literature, what i've written, or anything actually important. don't be angry if i answer in anything other than memes, btw. that just means you don't have a sense of humor.
>>7747726
how often do you suck dick that isnt your boyfriends?
>>7747679
Z A D I E S M I T H
>>7747729
as often as possible.
>>7747726
k, i concede
>name
Carl Witkowski
>taste in literature
gay erotica and nutrition facts
>what i've written
nothing i'm just bored
>anything actually important
i'm really, really bored rn
>>7747711
K, here ya go
>6/9/97
This guy walked up to me sometime ago trying to get me to join his pyramid scheme selling hormones and vegetables. I was curious so I said sure. I just dropped out of college, so I used my student loans o buy 100,000 bottles of estrogen and half-ripe pumpkins. I then ran away and spent the following year in canada transitioning to a woman and fucking pumpkins. I just moved back home and no one recognizes me. I guess from now on, I'm Candy.
What's your philosophy on life?
>>7747741
always swallow
>>7747743
that's pretty shallow
but if you mean metaphorically, then that's deep bro.
What does it feel like trolling such numbers?
>>7747745
kek
>this fucking thread
Here's a question: if we don't know who you are, how are we supposed to gage the validity of your advice?
>>7747757
>>7747752
who says I'm trolling? i really am an author, you know, just no one here believes it.
jakalanturn
>>7747763
>just no one here believes it.
>"guys i just levitated"
>ok yeah whatever, prove it
>"guys i'm being serious"
>ok show us
>"come on guys can't you just trust me"
>>7747765
k, so if i told you i really was tao lin and that the details of my personal life were made up, would you believe me?
>>7747769
timestamps and so on
>>7747763
Be truthful this time
What drugs are you taking at the moment?
>>7747774
why would i want my face on 4chan? it already has my ass.
>>7747760
Inexplicable. You're over-aggressively gay and your responses to the questions you asked to be asked are incessantly annoying: you remind me of me a few years ago, and me a few years ago would probably have pretended to be a published author.
>6/9/97
Is this your birthdate? If so, perhaps you really are virtually me a few years ago, in which case my advice to you is please wait at least few years before coming back here.
>>7747782
goatse guy?
>>7747778
weed, coke, a touch of alcohol and whole handful of attachment issues. wanna party, anon?
>>7747530
What's your most popular book?
Dubs and you reveal your book
>>7747784
why are you doing this to me?
>>7747786
my husband once fucked a goat. i broke up with him for a week but then he bought me chocolate. my dad nevefr bought my choclate. he onnly bought my e amphetttiminess
>>7747789
>that 16th malformed kernel
what are ya?
>>7747789
>coke
>weed
Which is for writing and which is recreation?
>>7747798
Retard
>>7747801
neithjer, theyier both for tehe pain
>>7747796
clsoe enuf
>>7747798
why? because I just wanted to watch better call saul off of my DVR and do my essay today and you marched into my life and tainted both of those. and there are countless other people in this thread on top of that
christ, man. what you're doing in this thread is irritating to the point of being hostile
>>7747808
i just wanna be loved, anon. unfortunately, the only way to do that is is to shove gum against my ingrown toenail.
>>7747807
Stop your mollycoddling. At least have honourable intentions if you're going to be a druggy.
Have you tried many hallucinogens?
>>7747822
do you trust me?
>>7747811
https://youtu.be/jzysxHGZCAU?t=16m23s
>>7747811
you are also loved in truly huge quantities by people who enjoy your book, apparently. hypothetically, i mean, since you clearly either have never written a book or have never written a notable one
>>7747825
Only when you aren't asking devious questions
Tell me who you trust?
>>7747833
none of the men who raped me. do you trust me? can i tell you something?
>>7747829
i totes have tho
>>7747844
then why come here? why do you need this generic brand attention as well?
>>7747846
because i'm wheelchair bound and my robotic legs can't feel my soul anymore, so i need to collect love and attention to trade them for flesh ones from satan
>>7747838
tell me child, I trust you more than you can know
>>7747866
you can't tell anyone, okay? you promise me? not a word to any of the men who'll ask you? none?
by the way i love you do you love me
>>7747877
>do you love me
Op don't never ask me such a thing again
Have you never learned that all things disappear when you look at them too close? The world is completely self-conscious
>>7747890
i have the gun in my mouth. it reminds me of the times i used to stretch my lips for his cock. goodbye.
>>7747530
Assuming you're even talking the truth, what was the process of getting published like?
>>7747592
He's got his teeth fixed.
>>7747901
Meet your so called "OP" /lit/
Gorge your eyes and despair.
>>7747906
>japanese competitive eater
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP
