What's your opinion on this book?
>>7700309
It's not a book. It's a collection of books including holy scriptures (the pentateuch), history (the prophets) and literature (the final bits in the protestant and the jewish bibles) along with "the New Testament" which I know nothing about.
>>7700309
>bible literally translates as "books"
>plebs still refer to it in singular
>>7700309
>Iron Age goatfuckers trying to make sense of the world in the free time between fucking their goats and fucking their own underage daughters or just generally Yahweh ackbaring everything
>American evangelicals believe it's literally true
Wew lad
Overrated IRL, underrated on /lit/
>>7700309
It's a story best told in lego form.
But honestly, it's interesting how the various translations themselves have taken on new life and the apocrypha show insights into early Christianity and the various sects trying to survive.
>>7700361
>American evangelicals
Youre implying that American evangelicals have even read it. Most americans think Jesus was white
Not really exciting or thrilling in the slightest. I give it 3.5/10
A poor derivative of themes that were already around at the time
I liked the part where God told Moses to build a tabernacle and then Moses built a tabernacle.
>>7700309
Contains some of the greatest stories ever written and has good advice on perspective and how to view life, desu.
Anyone that hates it simply doesn't understand it.
>>7700808
>Most americans think Jesus was white
If only they knew the truth.
>>7701035
Blasphemy. God is an old Asian man that looks like my Grandpa and the Bible is the story of how my ancestors passed on their spiritual legacy to the Chinese.
Not enough dinosaurs/10
I'd read it all but the ending was spoiled for methe carpenter dies in the end
My favorite part is when the big guy gives everyone free will and then drowns everyone for not doing what he wanted.
Small bit:
I'm still confused on who the antagonist is. Is it the serpent who burst the shackles of ignorance or is it the omnipotent guy with low self-esteem who keeps killing things?
Inb4 Satan worshipper
>>7701322
Fucking spoiler text
>>7701322
The final antagonist is GOD
>>7701322
You better watch your attitude. Disrespecting people's Holy books will lead to having a bad time when interacting with people in a workplace environment. You might get fired ...or worse.
>>7701322
>in the end
>>7701350
>>7701322
Satan is anti-hero since he is obeying gods orders anyway.
Judas is misunderstood hero, since he too obeys Jesus command.
I really like Kazantzakis twist in his Last Temptation of Christ, were an antagonist is Paul, a guy who even though never met Jesus, popularizes Christian dogma and twisted all of his teachings for the worse and made Christianity into an authoritarian life-denying organised religion.
>>7700309
I like it when Elisha makes a boy using his magic, then rapes his corpse so the kid would live again, and then he goes to this village, and some kids laugh at his bald head, and, naturally, he summons two bears to slaughter 42 children.
>>7701469
Rape verse?
I love the part in which God pretends to be a Pokemon trainer and tries to steal Jacob's money.
>>7701478
It is the first wonder of Elisha
Simon Peter's last great "fuck you" to the Neo-platonists.
>>7701478
Two girls raped his father so he could have children.
>>7701478
If you rape a woman, you have to pay her father 50 silver coins and marry her.
>>7701533
Back then, father's would sell their daughters to the highest bidder in order to get married. Of course, if someone raped her, she would no longer be a virgin and would be worthless - no one would marry her. Making the rapist pay the father and marry her anyway was considered the just thing to do since the rapist basically fucked over the father financially and nobody would want the daughter.
Anybody who gets their morals from the Bible is fucked up.
>>7701576
But, if you rape a queen, give her father 50 silver coins and confess, you are set for life.
>>7701576
So you're saying I can't stone people? That's lame
>>7701605
If you catch your bitch fucking another guy, she gets stoned.
Is there an Edith Hamilton for the bible? Where it summarizes the bible myths and their later variations/elaborations in various sects like Catholic interpretations and medieval art.
>>7700309
>>7701359
I tried so hard and got so far
>>7701533
>Coins?
>>7701322
"God" was always the true villain.
>>7702035
This doesn't make you seem smart.
It's pretty teenage actually.
>>7702059
i guess milton was a teenage poet. no wonder plebs like him
>>7702059
Nice argument, m80.
>>7702059
?
Hes serious
Only white americans dont fear god.
Every Christian minority believes god is somewhat villainous, thats why they love and worship him so he doesnt smite them like the pathetic ants they are
>>7700309
It is a collection of stories, fables, and folktales that center around the foundation of the Christian religion. What I find most interesting are the gospels they left out.
The Old Testament is pretty metal. Massive battles, spell slinging, and mountains of loot. Almost sounds like a dungeons and dragons game.
I like the part where Jesus says "Just Kidding" about the whole Old Testament.
>>7700309
I'm not keen on all the incest though...
>>7703151
B-but incest is wincest!
>>7700309
It's 100% truth. I know because God told me.
Not bait, this is serious bizness
>>7702329
You should check out the Shahnameh if you liked the OT.
>>7700309
It's the same giving stock picture every time. Why do people still fall for this shit tier bait
American psycho for an ancient audience
Nordic Mythology is more interesting
>>7704758
God is probably an old afroasiatic man, if genetics is to be followed.
>>7704819
maybe if you're a neckbeard manchild
>>7704829
And who's the bible for ?
>hard mode: you can't answersheep
>>7704852
I don't disagree.
>>7700309
It should be called "When a jew shepherd smokes too much, or a subhuman story."
Facts:
>The Old Testament was stolen from the jew beliefs.
>Jews stole part of this from Babylonian poems and traditions.
>All of them were almost black.
>Mary, mother of Jesus (Maryam) was around 12yo when she started fucking with Joseph.
>She had sex with another guy, and got pregnant. According to the tradition she should have died by stoning, but Joseph was a beta, who accepted that kid.
>Jesus was a jew fanatic who treated her mother like shit, and insulted to those who didn't followed him.
>He said that he should return to the earth around 70-100 years later.
>Roman persecution was mostly political, and by intervals.
>Herod (Herod I, the Great / the builder) died 4 years before the birth of Jesus.
>>7701046
>>7701035
For some reason I always pictured Jesus looking like Tony Shalhoub
>>7701349
God killed God and by that he broke the God's law and has to be punished by God and only God can save him...
It isn't meant to be taken literally.
>>7705351
This is the first good post I've read since I came back to 4chan a couple of days ago. If you were a trip user, I would not filter you.
>>7700374
>Overrated IRL
I guess it just depends what kind of life youre living. I would argue that a lot of the "educated" world and the younger generations have now dismissed the bible for any worth whatsoever
>>7705362
As a very insecure person I find Gratification in positive comments from strangers on the internet. It makes me feel like my existence is finally justified. I thank you kindly good Sir
>tips
fuck you all, i'm a agnostic christian and there is nothing that you can do about it
>>7705508
gnostic*
>>7701576
>doesn't understand that those morals are jewish and christ teaches how the jewish law is not the law (not talking about that paul faggot)
Religion is good hustle for controlling the stupid. Wish I had thought of it first
>>7704819
>Nordic Mythology is more interesting
get a load of this pagan pleb
>>7705519
Right except the bits about sodomy. Christfags hold into that OT horseshit like its the last cupcake at a Twilight book club meeting
>>7700309
>an episodic, non-linear, creation story with hundreds of characters that ties everything back satisfyingly to an overarching narrative dealing with the ultimate fate of humanity
>everything from philosophical treatises, poetry and apologues to stories of kings, mystics and prophets
>of vital importance for understanding a lion's share of literature
>of vital importance for understanding a lion's share of philosophy
>of vital importance for understanding a lion's share of western civilization
>people dismiss it immediately because they have a shallow ideological conception of what it represents
It would be universally praised here if the average anon didn't have such toxic ideology attached to it
TLDNR
The prose is atrocious.
>>7701469
Those she-bears will get you everytime.
>>7702391
It's just a prank bro!
>>7701469
you cant rape a corpse
>>7705657
You must be new here.
>>7705351
test
ITT : euphoric fedoras bag on the moral centre of Western civilisation.
>>7700309
Incest
Genocide
Giant flood
Talking snake
Slaves
Corruption
Magic
Man eating whale
Betrayal
Romance
I change my vote to:
8.7/10
Jesus flipping tables and chasing the faggots around with whips while basically going "GAMBLING IN MY FATHER'S HOUSE? REEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Is my favourite thing. I want Jesus to be real so that can be true.
Of course, I do believe in Christian stuff, but I always kind of war with my faith.
>>7707887
Are you Jeremy Usbourne?
