>tfw taking a writing fiction workshop at my uni
>my first one ever
>professor tells us we have to read our pieces in front of the whole class and get feedback from other students
>tfw presentation day begins
>literally too scared to read my piece aloud
>tfw just opt out of doing it
Feels bad, bros
>>7678921
why be scared? I'd assume people are only there to help, not laugh at you.
>>7678921
>take writing workshop
>read story out loud
>prof there stops me in the middle of the first sentence because I used the word "diurnal"
>he prances around the room saying, "Look at me! I'm Anon, the most gifted writer ever! I use pretty words like diurnal!"
>tfw the whole class laughs at me and calls me pretentious
>>7678942
What an asshole. My professor didn't ignore pretentiousness, but he expressed that in extremely thorough feedback notes where he put his own taste on the line, not in bullying.
It's true that using Latinate words too much can seem pretentious tho.
>>7678942
he's right tho. suck it up
>>7678942
Let me guess. He also thinks genre fiction is good.
>>7678942
>he doesn't appreciate wordsworth
baka
A SLUMBER did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears:
She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly years.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees;
Rolled round in earth's diurnal course,
With rocks, and stones, and trees.
I know those feels.
In the first year of my English degree we had a compulsory Anglo Saxon class that most people hated/resented. Slogged my guts out in that class. One week we were asked to do a translation of Dream of the Rood into modern English. The following week, I was the only one in the class who had actually done it, but didn't fess up to it because I was too shy and nervous around the absolutely gorgeous prof teaching the class and slightly ashamed of my (rather good and poetic but quirky) translation that I had sweated blood over.
Also spent that first year full of questions but too shy and overawed to attend lecturers' actual office hours. I would loiter in the corridor instead and lightly run my fingers over the hallowed nameplates on their doors, and then go and hide in the corridor.
It's a wonder I ever passed that degree, let alone with a good grade. Sometimes I was too excruciatingly shy to leave my room without spending literal hours on my (fairly average but not entirely hideous) appearance. It sucks to be a teenage girl.
TL;DR: I know those feels.
>>7678980
He actually did. He told us to study Stephen King because he wrote "effeciently" or something.
>>7678991
do you really think anon is on par with wordsworth
>>7678942
You sound like a faggot
>>7679050
no, nor do i think that story actually happened, but i just wanted the post the poem
>he shares the things he wrote
>he discusses them with other human beings
>>7679009
do you want to be my gf?
>Script class
>homework: write a classic script
>wtf?
>write a script of woman with an alien baby
>read it to everyone
>teacher stops me
>"Anon can you tell me how it finish"
>"well teacher it have an open ending"
>"anon pls get out of the class"
>i burned the script
Stop being a bitch and just read it. Most people in those classes can't write. I've taken a few of them myself.
Just do it man quit being a spaz, it's the only way to get over it.
>>7679295
>Going onto 4chan to pick up men.
Is that even a thing?
>>7679328
What is /soc/?
>>7679009
lol you fucking nerd why did you bother with that pointless assignment
>>7679328
well dear you can't know what it's at the next door.
>>7679360
TBQHWY I only ever come here for this pleasant blue board. I looked at /b/ a couple of times and was mildly horrified. I looked at /sci/ for a bit, but it was endlessly repetitive and full of wearisome one-upmanship by teenagers. This place seems nice. There's generally a good snark:lit chat ratio.
>>7679347
Mostly for intellectual and creative kicks. Also inspired by that cute prof, as I mentioned. Also, yes, out of nerdishness. I wanted to see if I could do the Seamus Heaney thing for a chunk of Anglo Saxon poetry. Literary translation can actually be quite a rewarding and interesting pastime in and of itself. I was never really one for hovering up cash/credit/kudos. Have you never done something just because? Smelt a flower? Kissed a girl? Um, read a book?
I had one of these this week. Ours is more technique based. We do a lot of writing 'engines' in class and use that to make original stuff. We're marked on our ability to use the techniques correctly for what we have written. Eg) choosing narrative by outlying a story and choosing the key scenes or moments and arranging them into a good dramatic shape (there's no right shape, that's not clear from this page, its just a method of rethinking structure, possibly improving pacing)
>>7679009
I messed up my degree under similar circumstances, I believe the phrase is 'imposter syndrome', common aspect of social anxiety and depression, was in my case anyway.
I'm redoing my current year from home and not socialising, but I feel a lot better for it. I read and write a lot more here, though I fear the NEET as much as I do work. I'm thinking of joining the army, which is strange, because I'm not 'army material', just hate the idea of a normal job and don't have many prospects for leaving smalltown
I'm taking a workshop class right now and, no shit, I'm the only guy in the class who gives enough of a shit to try and write something halfway decent. You would not believe what these kids consider worthy of other people's time and attention. None of them read, so how can they ever hope to be good at writing? It kills me. This generation is hopeless.
>>7679533
Damn. That's some elementary school story structure lesson shit, anon. I hope they are at least making some attempt to teach you to think out of the box at times.
>>7679754
That's what I thought to be honest, We basically just covered Character desires and obstacles and and choosing and shaping narrative from a story. This is the lecturer's poem. He has some poems published, but I don't think many. Apparently he translates French ones, that may be why.
“Do you mind if I stay ‘til the rain stops?”
One woman comes in with her left arm already out of her coat.
Two girls sit by the door. They talk about sex,
waiting for a break in the clouds. When it comes,
one leaves on a BMX, the other on a skateboard.
The face of a waitress is reflected in the doorpane. The rain
smears it.
Schoolgirls drink diet coke, and watch the weather. They complain
that smoking outside is a shit when
it’s wet. They shuffle
phones and lipgloss in punk handbags.
Terracotta pitchers with necks like sleeves
flaring on hooks above the bar.
A Spanish woman with a tattoo appears from the kitchen,
ready to make bloody sangria flow. But
this is England; we close early in April.
When I was 10 during a swimming lesson I refused to jump in the deep end of the pool after everyone else had done it because I was scared.
>>7679869
By refusing to join in with your peers, you became part of the New Swimcerity.
>>7678921
I sort of know this feel.
> write a screenplay for screenwriting lecture tomorrow
> will have to read it with others in the class
> script opens up with a guy talking in detail about people who eat shit
> script has problematic language such as homophobic slurs and ironic use of the word nigga
> my university is one that is heavily hit by the SJW plague
How deep does one need to dig a grave?
>>7679452
why you hate /b/ dear is the son you never had.
>>7680021
tell them he has a tumblr-related disorder
they should be fine from then on
>>7680021
Make sure it is watertight in terms of technique, that'll be the mark scheme, not the content. Chances are you will have to bring up that.
That sucks OP, don't pussy out on the workshop. Already had three people drop out of mine this term with excuses that pretty blatantly signalled nerves and possible mental collapse at the idea of reading their work.
Probably the worst was this woman brought in a single piece of 'fiction' about her worries about her drinking. She started crying and had to stop halfway through, and she cried for a few minutes before the teacher awkwardly moved on. It was hideous.
Still, workshops helped me see writing as more like stand-up than anything cathartic and confessional, which in the long-run was good for me. Good luck!
>>7680565
>Still, workshops helped me see writing as more like stand-up
this, probably the best way to approach it. Dive in with what you have and see what happens
>>7680021
>ironic use of the word nigga
if you want to make it work be earnest in your use of nigger. You gotta pull off a tarantino
>>7679452
/sci/ has been taken over by memesters. 90% is the same fucking garbage and almost nobody replies to legit discussion if you try to start it. it's unfortunate
Every time we had to do some creative writing for homework in high school i skipped the next class because I knew there was like a 60% chance the teacher would read it out loud or worse, make me read it.
He dropped a comment once to the effect of, Mr Anon you're writing is hella decent, shame to see you throw your talents away like this. Hit me right in the feels.
>>7678942
>>he prances around the room saying, "Look at me! I'm Anon, the most gifted writer ever! I use pretty words like diurnal!"
Goddamnit, I wish this really happened
>>7678942
L. Ron Hubbard
Diurnetics
>>7678921
So did you just say "no" in front of everyone? Did you leave or just sit there?
>>7678921
if ur writing was gud u wudve red it but u didnt cuz u kno its shit and ur only fewling urself abt being a writer cuz unlike a engineering exam u can't fail creative writing
op if ur too shy to read ur shitty story to a bunch of dumb kids then how r u gonna get the balls to ax "do u want fries with that" to all the nignog that come to ur work when u graduate?
>>7678921
lol pussy.
>>7679848
Fuck is that a shitty poem. Sounds like something posted in the critique threads. Ignore your professor.
If you're in highschool or undergrad and you're not one of the 3 best writers in your writing workshop you should end your life.
>>7683151
like anyone needs a reason to end their own life
>>7683151
>implying I don't already know that
>>7678921
You have to do it, though.
In my creative writing class I got a rep as a cutting but gentle critic who could give and guide great feedback to even the worst writer.
Then came my turn. Feel sick and disoriented, cringing in shame, everything I've ever said sounds hostile from here.
You just have to eat it. There's no other way.
>>7680021
How'd it go? Whatever shit you got, you were asking for it honestly
>>7683151
Everyone says that my work is very beautiful, but I literally just talk about how much I love attractive buildings and nature. I think I am so inoffensive that the other people feel no reason to shit on me.
>>7678921
My creative writing prof did this too. I yelled at him for a little bit about how writing is made to exist in written form. Then I read my piece, making sure to painstakingly point out every place where there was important punctuation, which in my work is every two words or so.
>>7684551
Get over yourself
>>7680021
It honestly depends on the atmosphere of your class. And, most prominently, the school you go to and said school's composition.
>>7680565
>Already had three people drop out of mine this term
That reminds me of a thing DFW said, where he had a reputation of being the Grammar Nazi on his campus so that only about four people were left in his classes. God that would've been amazing.
>>7683151
>tfw you are
>>7684551
If you can't read your shit aloud properly, then you're a shit writer.
>>7685180
Jackson C Frank couldn't bear to play in front of people, yet he's still a rather nice musician and lyricist.
>>7679009
>I'm a grill btw
Master bait. You had me sympathising with you right until the end then you spat on my fucking face. Bravo.
>>7678942
i hope you were ashamed of yourself you frogposter fag
>>7679604
Christopher? Christopher E.? if that's you, fuck you, your shit was mediocre at best
>>7679890
suprememly underrated post
>>7685154
i missed him by 5 years. so close............................................. yet so far
>>7683151
i am unironically the best writer in my workshop. this is a meaningless distinction as anyone these days can get into a workshop for lack of competition. kids thinkin they can write.... without reading
If you professor knew how to write, he wouldn't be teaching.
>>7685450
If your accountant knew how to write, he wouldn't be accounting.
I've written 1200 words on my phone this week : >
>>7685458
The two aren't comparable. Teachers are subsidized by society, they are beyond all censure, they are fundamental to every field and have job assurance that isn't based on competence, demand, or worth. This is true in both the public and private sector, most professors are totally unqualified, and will rear a whole new generation of mediocrity to replace them with no incentive to do otherwise. I know the first thing I did after graduating was get a job teaching at my college. It was good and easy money.
>>7685458
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Those+who+can,+do%3B+those+who+can't,+teach
the saying exists for a reason
1st year writing classes are the best. i'm by no means a wordsmith, but it's quite clear that some students are self-described writers who have had perpetual writers block for the past 5 years.
i think there is some value to be gained, i only took mine as an elective but don't regret it. most of the best advice is given when you actually do present your work and receive criticism. but you could probably save yourself the trouble and find some writing club that freely reads and discusses with each other.
best thing that happened in my class by far though:
>obese, trenchcoat-wearing neckbeard that spends every class grimacing when people read their work and then giving very unhelpful criticism (eg. 'that was pretentious' or 'it was too long')
>finally his time to present
>actually was looking forward to this since i knew it would be high quality cringe
>he distributes copies of his work to everybody, it's written in that showy cursive font
>story is about a petite girl reading in a bar
>our chivalrous narrator approaches her and they exchange the kind of witty banter that could only exist in the mind of a socially stinted manchild
>he flirts with her, at one point calls both of them something to the effect of 'intellectual refugees, in a sea of macho idiocy'
>story ends with them holding hands and leaving the building
>neckbeard was pummeled by criticism, even the teacher said it was a 'cliched mess'
>he never came back after that class
>>7685305
>damage control
>>7685584
of all the things that never happened that never happened the most
>>7685626
jokes on you, he adapted it into a fantasy audio drama and put it on youtube
here you go - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJju4fR9FgE
>>7685584
Damn, wow. High-quality cringe indeed.
>>7685644Jesus.
>>7685644
How did he get a girl to help narrate?
>>7685684
because there are equally pathetic girls willing to help fulfill his masturbatory fantasies
>>7685739
Was the girl in the video also in your class?
>>7685745
nope
>i was sat at home drinking bain fluid when english teacher ring
>teacher: u have asignement tomorrow
>me: yes
>face: not asignement prepared ahed for next duirnal period
when were u, lit???
>>7678942
Did it feel/sound organic, or was the prof right?
i took a creative writing class about 8 years ago with the author of pic related
he was a massive prick when it came to grading other people's assignments, but every class he read something like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r21w8ht6lA so we were ok with it
>>7685450
You're not wrong, ya know
>>7685784
Kek
>>7678942
Go on the internet and tell lies .jpg
>>7678942
I'm upset for you but at the same time I loathe pretentious "writing"
>>7679009
>>7686351
Fucking savage
>>7686351
Saved.
>>7679013
kinda semirelated, check out dfws syllabuses
>>7685944
Are you saying he's a professor? Because that'd be hilarious.
>>7685644
That was fucking terrible. He probably watched a shitload of anime and cartoons.
