Does anybody else here feel burned out?
A year ago I was so enthusiastic and energetic when writing, and could see myself improving. Now I feel so cynical and resigned, so capable of dismissing my previous ambitions. After two years of full-time wagecuckery, I really understand the appeal of living a "normal" life without any real aspirations and so on. Anybody else been in this position before?
>>7532741
>After two years of full-time wagecuckery
>Anybody else been in this position before?
Literally millions of people, but maybe 3 of them browse /lit/. Being burned out is kinda natural nonetheless, most of the aspiring local writers are in this state I'd say 50% of the time
I'm with you op. Having worked a few years now post college at a decent paying job and seeing my friends and peers slowly drift about has started to make me sympathize with the simple, comfortable lifestylethat i have always denigrated. what i cant tell is if "doing time" as it were as a wagecuck has worn my spirit and stunted my ambitions maliciously or if these new feelings are an inevitable product of aging
>>7532779
I realize lot of people in general are in this position, which is why the appeal of an "easy" life makes sense to me now. It just sucks that I'm trading all my energy and enthusiasm and will to live for the sake of a relatively secure existence.
I read that Cormac McCarthy dodged jobs all his life but HOW THE FUCK did he stay alive? Like where did the money come from? Everyday in work I sit there feeling restless and depressed and I picture a young Cormac McCarthy lying sideways on a sofa pinching his chin with a smug-ass expression. Why do I continue living like this? Only rich people should be allowed to be self-aware and have aspirations, it's pointless me wanting any more than my shitty lot in life it feels.
>>7532783
>what i cant tell is if "doing time" as it were as a wagecuck has worn my spirit and stunted my ambitions maliciously or if these new feelings are an inevitable product of aging
Well put. I honestly feel quite glad whenever I feel like I'm going to break down or something, because a lot of the time now I just feel numb or at least sort of placid in a way I hate seeing in my retired parents. I know I could easily accept that sort of placidity (which doesn't rule out partying etc, which I avoid) but I also know that when I read about some guy in his 20s getting published I'll feel like running off a cliff.
Is that you Gas-kun? I remember OP picture being associated with a wagekek writing advice thread but don't remember if it was GK or a different wagekek.
>>7532805
No it's not Gas-kun. I know who he is though, and I think his mantra of "gotta work hard to write hard" is insufferable and naive.
>>7532823
GK is a great example of how important it is to have teachers or mentors or gurus or whatever the fuck you want as guidance. You can write a million pages and not get better at all.
>>7532823
Ah yeah. Well I am also a wagekek and just coming out of a rut like you described. I advise not to dwell much on it, let the bad times pass over you, and spend time reading and finding enjoyment elsewhere until you can once again start producing stuff that is honest, not tryhard, and OK in quality. My problem, at least, was during that period I was trying to write Literature instead of trying just to write, and it wasn't real, very cringey.
>>7532835
Yeah true I guess. I do admire his commitment though and I hope it's rewarded somehow. I'm just fearing that I've really fucked myself over by wanting to quit my 9-hour a day job (with a 1 hour commute each way) and not doing it, and instead allowing all my youthful energy and enthusiasm to be squandered. But then I tell myself that I'm lucky not to be having a job with the same hours that pays much less. But I'm so autistically obsessed with this dilemma of mine that I've done a ton of research (in work) on the lives of well-known writers, and most of those I researched were either supported financially by their family (Suskind, Tao Lin, Pahuk, Lovecraft, Styron et al.), worked part-time or very rarely (Carver, Pessoa, Mishima, Knausgaard, Kafka et al.) or stayed in academia until their debut was published (DFW, Lerner, Krasznahorkai, others...). There are those who worked full-time (Huysmans, O'Nan, Houellebecq etc) but most (like those who succeed in any art form I imagine) really committed to their writing in a way I envy and wish to replicate. But then I do research into author's earnings, publishing trends and the rising competition and growing slush piles and it really is overwhelming. I would like to be assertive and say "fuck it" and commit to writing while living a life that will seem embarrassing after I turn like 28 but I don't think my hesitation is necessarily all cowardice. I don't know. I thing being destroyed by failure is more ideal than being destroyed by regret, but still I feel so incapable of making the world yield to me in any significant capacity, especially to my ambition to become a published writer.
Who's to tell you you'll be happier in that life? That you are not just enamored by its newness as you were by your previous projects? That you must sacrifice your aspirations and cannot live both lifes? That you cannot be inspired by a normal life? That a normal life is secure, and you won't find another host of problems? That normal people aren't assaulted by the same fears you wish to avoid, or that you won't be?
>>7532910
I don't appreciate the format of your post but I understand that a secure life isn't necessarily without trouble, but my co-workers all live such contented, predictable lives without having any real ambition beyond raising a family and trying new foods or beers every now and then. I really don't mind being unhappy, but feeling this discontented isn't beneficial to my mental health. Maybe I expect too much of myself or something but other people have also and some have managed to write great books that I have read and which I respect and value in a way I value little else in life.
Writing is hard work. I guess the perception is you just sit on your ass all day, type something up for an hour, and boom, collect paycheck.
Not only is it hard work, it's extremely stressful too. I always say failure is always an option when it comes to writing. It's entirely possible that the thing you put all this work and energy into might very well suck.
>>7532925
I agree, and I also think the popular advice of "just write when you get home from work" is really naive. To invest in an imagined reality, whether it's barely fictional or some elaborate fantasy, takes energy and commitment. There's a reason why many writers have quit their jobs or avoided the 8-5 life in order to write. If it was so easy to dip in and out and add a couple of words here and there I think more writers would choose to fuck around on excel for 9 hours of their day, but it's not. I admit I used to spam the "it's impossible to produce a great work of art while working a full-time job" threads on here a while back, and the majority of the replies I received didn't prove me wrong and provided no real examples. That's not to say there aren't examples, but you'd think there'd be more if the aforementioned advice was true.
>>7532941
In fairness, some writers were able to make it with a day job. Stephen king, off the top of my head, worked two jobs and was raising two kids when he wrote his first books.
He's kind of an exception though, most writers are total bums for a decade or two before they actually make it.
>>7532924
>I understand that a secure life isn't necessarily without trouble, but my co-workers all live such contented, predictable lives without having any real ambition beyond raising a family and trying new foods or beers every now and then.
What I'm trying to tell you is that a secure life does not exist. Why do you believe raising a family or trying new food is not a real ambition? Simply because everyone around does it means you will be able to? That you're entitled to it?
Do you really understand that? Do you not see how everything could disappear at any moment?
>I really don't mind being unhappy, but feeling this discontented isn't beneficial to my mental health.
You're either contradicting yourself or you're spooked.
I simply reject your idea of a normal life. Everyone I know has a job and they're not much better off. First they want kids, then they want to get rid of the kids, then they fuck around a bit more not really doing anything and saying they're too old to, not even bothering to actually see the things and relations they've collected, then they just die. Their desires are not more simple, just common.
I want to make it clear I'm not opposing you leading a normal life. What I'm opposing is your idea that a normal life is more secure, or less grandiose than another kind; both can fail terribly or not, in both cases you'll be the only one to live that life.
I have assumed enough already.
>lit: amateurs advising amateurs
stick with the day job and the girlfriend OP. if you love literature you'll take a break for a year or two then circle back stronger. if it hurts because you were certain you were destined for greatness, you deserve these feels.
mac's a lucky guy
>>7532741
That's what happens when you get a girlfriend and receive regular sex with minimal effort. Why do you think normies never achieve anything? Become single again and your psyche will kick your ass into self-improvement and actualisation mode.
>>7532960
Punching was a techelical writer. You don't have to be a starving artist for Christ's sake. Besides, getting a job will give you experiences that might inspire your writing.
It's the wageslavery that's burning you out. It's what killed me. Forever chasing after those damned chits of paper; that's no fucking way to live....
>>7533110
Pynchon technical'
>>7532741
>Does anybody else here feel burned out?
Yes. Ever since i became a wagecuck. I was reading a book a day (or every few days depending on the length) and writing a decent amount when i was a NEET. I only read around 20 books last year and write a lot less.
I want to go back to being a NEET so bad.
>>7533196
How old are you?
>>7533221
Do you work full-time?
What is your job?
In retrospect 22 seems so young, especially when so many people I knew either stayed in college for another year or didn't worry about getting a job after graduation. I felt so much pressure to get a job but when I did I felt an equal amount of pressure to quit it. I'm fucking retarded.
>>7533234
>Do you work full-time?
Yes
>What is your job?
Retail, but i was working in a factory before
>In retrospect 22 seems so young
Well 22 is young, isn't it?
I think i would have handled the working world better and not become as burnt out as i am if i didn't have my period of NEETdom. Once you get used to unlimited free time, it's hard to go back to a schedule where you're spending most of your waking time and energy working. I guess it doesn't help that i have a shit dead-end and completely mind-numbing job.
You have no time for yourself when you compare it to what you had before.
Kind of wished i had never tasted the forbidden fruit because there is no going back now.
I hope i can at least transition to part-time work in the future.
I am 37 years old.
My mother still buys me candy when I visit home and hands them to me the same way she did when I was a kid.
I work as a data inputter at a logistics company.
I have no friends.
I have no girlfriend.
The last time I kissed a girl was 1997.
The last time I got drunk was around 2006.
I am a virgin.
My dad left my mother for another women when I was very young.
For my birthday last year I booked a motel room and paid for an escort but when she turned up I felt sorry for her and gave her the money and told her to get some sleep but she laughed and called me a bunch of names and left.
I was attractive in my late teens and early 20s buy my looks have worn off.
No girls notice me and I don't feel worthy of being noticed.
Sometimes I drive to McDonalds after work and buy way too much food and eat until I feel nauseous and then lie in the backseat while listening to R.E.M.
Last year I developed a crush on a girl who works at an Arby's near my workplace but when I asked her out she seemed to hope I was joking and said no thanks.
My old neighbour had a pet dog that I'd look after sometimes but he moved out and now all I have are the plants I try and care for.
>>7533267
>that picture
reminds me of the shit niggers would pull at my public high school. always cracked me up, but I felt bad for those poor fucking janitors.
>>7533281
Jesus
>>7533267
I remember I was 22 when I got my first full time job. It sucked. For one, after car payment, student loans, insurance, all that shit, I was always broke anyway. Took me years to figure out that I don't need to work my ass off in order to be broke, I can just sit around and be broke.
Now I just sit around on welfare. It's honestly the best decision I ever made. Health insurance is a shit load better, and I don't pay a dime. I can actually save money up to buy things. It's way better than working, I don't know how anybody in government actually expects people to go to work.
>>7533281
my gott, you're r9k incarnate
>The last time I got drunk was around 2006
Well at least you can fix that. Go get high, get drunk, whatever. What the fuck is the point of living a sober life if you're not doing anything with your life anyway?
Hang in there anon. I'm your friend.
>>7533281
fuck
>>7533281
Kind of in the same boat. Though I'm not a virgin. I haven't been laid since 2010, but I did rail some good tail in my dad, I banged probably around 40 or 50 girls.
Not really sure if i'm attractive or not, though it really doesn't matter. Anymore I'm just a sad loser who women want nothing to do with, looks don't have much to do with it.
I had a crush on this slamming girl who worked at the hardware store near me. I didn't know how else to approach her, so I got drunk and texted her. Yeah....that didn't work out so good, I immediately started talking about her tits and she thought I was a total creep.
Other than that, I really don't have much of anything going on.
>>7532741
I hit that point a while ago. Now it's just become some kind of weird psychological game for me. See how much I can take before I snap under pressure. Full time work, full time university, running and lifting on alternating days, and writing as much as I possibly can. Currently waiting on a responses from publishing houses.
The way I look at it, you have to forget the past. Try not to compare your current situation too much to your "better" past one (when really, it wasn't all that better). Rise to the challenge, accept the difficulty, and fight it with all of your spirit. As Schwarzeneggar said, "So what if you fail? That's what everyone expects to happen." Find joy in the challenge, the difficulty, the hardship. That struggle has been the only true enjoyment I've felt to my core.
Then again, I could have just lost my mind and not realized it and these are the words of a madman. But still, what else are you going to do with your life? Why not say fuck it and do it anyway? Spit in difficulty's face, even if it means a broken nose down the line.
>>7533170
Was he not also in the Navy, though? Yes or no.
>>7533325
>Kind of in the same boat
>I banged probably around 40 or 50 girls.
Yeah, no
>>7533281
Young guys just have no idea that your energy goes and you should be out living your life instead of thinking things will get better. They don't.
Burn out in writing is ok though. Dostoyevsky wrote his good stuff at 60, you're still alive. You can back burner your writing and just read for a decade.
>>7533281
What's your favorite album by them? I like Automatic for the People, but Murmur will always be dear to me.
I feel I'm heading down your path. I'm 25, a virgin and I've got an MA in English and a steady, decently paying job. I think I'm of above average attractiveness, and sometimes women seem genuinely interested in me, but I'm never able to get further than a conversation and perhaps some awkward chatting. My social ineptitude is then revealed to her and she is no longer interested.
How do you cope? How do I cope?
>>7532787
That's why we NEET force a certain level of asceticism on ourselves, anon, so we can be noble in spirit.
>>7533281
>>7533281
This new pasta is getting popular. It's the 3rd time I've seen it in a few hours, on multiple boards.
>>7533281
You /lit/ fucks sure do know how to create a pitiful character, even through fictional forum postsAt least I hope this is a work of fiction
>>7533281
i'm honestly jealous, that sounds comfy as fuck.
at least you have a job
>>7532741
>>7533065
>>7533106
when i was single i was bouncing of walls, saying stupid shit to every person i didnt know, ending up in a wacky situations and making questionable decisions. ever since i got a girlfried, i stay in a lot more and play old videogames and jerk off into my breathing fleshlight.
but i do love her, thats the thing.
I personally believe there's nothing wrong with "giving up" on writing and choosing a "normal" life. Writing is hell anyway, so might as well choose an option that'll make you happy.
In all seriousness, I accepted a long time ago that writing is not going to keep me "happy" most of the time. I'll feel burned out, like my stories aren't worth shit and that everything that ever comes out of my head is fucking terrible. Still, I keep at it. It's the one thing I chose to do for myself, without anyone or anything telling me to do it, so I feel like I simply can't turn back now, but I find myself thinking from time to time that maybe quitting literature as a whole and maybe going off to study something different might be better on the long run.
Still, as someone else said, it might be good if you find yourself a mentor that helps you improve, or maybe join a group that openly critiques each others' works on a constructive manner. That's helped me, at least.
>>7532787
>only rich people should be allowed to be self-aware
Now we're getting somewhere!
>>7532787
He pretty much supported himself on academic awards from submitting his godlike literature.
>be 21~ year old white middle class or upper middle class beta male
>have mild depression at not being more popular and charismatic in spite of my overinflated sense of self-worth and just slightly above average intelligence
>compensate for it by devoting my life to criticizing people on the safe haven of the internet, where they can't effortlessly disregard me as a low status social reject
>gradually evolve from youtube comments and atheist blogs to criticizing other internet social critics, on literature forums and in my circle of spergin friends
>go into humanities degree that has the perfect mix of an easy curriculum and the nebulous, vague pretense of cultural sophistication
>lie to myself that postgraduate studies are my ultimate goal despite having no real plan B after attaining my worthless undergraduate degree (that my prole pleb family and social peers still fail to respect or care about)
>spend free time lurking literature enthusiasts' forums and websites that i claim to detest, 99% of whose users have non-academic jobs and active social lives, so that i can glean evidence of their dilettantism and report back to my fellow spergers, whereupon we will sup on their uninformed opinions and interests like manna from heaven
>marry a heifer in my late 20s or early 30s and imperceptibly forget about my stunted manchild dreams of academic auctoritas
>struggle to find authenticity in the life of an unambitious intellectual civilian, never quite realizing my reactionary superego fully encompassed my ego long ago
>spend the rest of my existence only dimly, unconsciously aware of the still living ember of narcissistic compensatory delusion, submerged in my soul like a red hot coal at the bottom of a lake, but still burning
>always burning
>>7533281
I am 38 years old.
My mother bought me a pack of condoms for Christmas and called it a "gag gift." She was mocking me. She then gave me a pack of black licorice and said "bless your heart."
I work at Wendy's part-time. They won't let me work full-time.
My coworkers are trying to file a restraining order on me so I can't go to work. I haven't done anything, but they hate me nonetheless. My speech impediment, deformities, and various twitches make it nearly impossible for me to find employment elsewhere. I was unemployed for 5 years before I found this job.
The last woman I contacted on okcupid called the cops on me.
The last time I kissed a girl was 1989. I was in sixth grade.
The last time I got drunk was in 1999 on New Year's Eve. I ended up totaling my mother's car that night and getting a DUI.
I'm not gay, but I lost my virginity to a middle aged man when I was 18. Blood poured out of my anus, forming an ocean of blood and shit in the toilet the following day.
I have never met my dad and my mother has a mild mental disability.
I booked a room at the Radisson Hotel in my city and tried to use my debit card to pay for an escort. It turned out to be a scam, so I lost $500 and spent the night coating myself in lube and watching pay-per-view porn.
I was never attractive. I have a lazy eye, a 3 inch dick, and a malformed testicle. I have always been overweight and I have muscular dystrophy. I can barely maintain an erection.
Sometimes I buy beer and talk to the homeless people in my city since they're the only ones who don't mock me. They only talk to me if I give them free booze.
I don't feel love, lust, or admiration for anyone other than porn stars and video game characters.
I can't afford to care for animals and I always forget to water my flowers. I don't even try to purchase plants anymore.
My last suicide attempt resulted in brain damage. This is why it twitch, stutter, and confuse my words when speaking. My handwriting has become illegible. Thankfully, I can still type.
>>7533281
>>7534350
God bless you.
I feel one hundred times better now.
>>7534350
>>7534350
I bet those homeless people would talk to you regardless of whether you bought them booze.
>>7534350
Your suffering is beautiful to me and I don't mean that in a mean-spirited way. I love you.
>>7533325
>I did rail some good tail in my dad
>>7533281
So
If you want to go on a date sometimes
I-I'm really lonely and I like REM a lot
>>7534128
pray to god it is
>>7533325
Please never post here again
>>7532787
His wife had a job and supported him and he had pretty good talent that she could see so it's not like she was thrilled to do so but she could probably see that it wasn't a lost cause.
not saying you are either but yeah that's how he did it
quarter life crisis thread? OP, what does living a "normal" life mean to you?
>>7533281
>
Sometimes I drive to McDonalds after work and buy way too much food and eat until I feel nauseous and then lie in the backseat while listening to R.E.M.
fuck thats good
>>7533575
This!
Hurrah for a fabricated sense of superiority!
We are above the other wageslaves!
>>7532903
>But I'm so autistically obsessed
Don't downplay your rational/wise desire to know if your decisions are the best they can be.
>>7532990
>grandiose than another kind
Define grandiose.
>>7534238
I'm new to this board.
Is this a copypasta?
This is serious 10/10 shit.
>>7534455
Sympathy is normal.
It brings together two of the things we love the most.
Feeling superior to other people and being liked by other people!
so this is what goes on in /lit/
>>7533281
>The last time I kissed a girl
>I was attractive
Normie. Fuck off.
>>7533281
>My old neighbour had a pet dog that I'd look after sometimes but he moved out and now all I have are the plants I try and care for.
The hooker part was hilarious, but this just made me sad.
/r9k/ represent. send us ur memes
most people can write well, they just don't have anything interesting to say.
Pursue a homosexual relationship as a straight man and write about it. Sell 5-10 million books and retire to seclusion.
The zeitgeist of the west is embracing male sexuality.
The zeitgeist of the east is embracing asexuality through repression (islam is religious repression, orientalism is repression through labour).
You need a muse, like anyone else. A person who elicits in you feelings that transcend your burnt out bored state of being.
>>7535425
>most people can write well, they just don't have anything interesting to say.
you are pretty confused about this, most people who try to write aren't that good at it. without practice and a certain desire to improve and editing, it's pretty rare to find decent writing. and by that I mean HS level writing.
>>7535425
>most people can write well
By "well" do you mean certain poetry via scarcely-possible similes correlating borderline everything to something whimsical, just because they fucking can, and they want their readers to cum in their pants from the prose? Because no.
>>7532787
what the fuck do you do thats so hard it drains all your energy? are you out of shape or something?
>>7535531
It's just millennial mid-20s whinging, I guess.
>muh 8 hour work day now I'm sooo exhauusted and can't do writing for the remaining 16 hours
Stephen King wrote Carrie while simultaneously working as a teacher and a janitor
>>7535549
people should at least try to be busy before they complain
It's tough, but then I ask what right do I have to live my life as an artist? We have to do jobs because these things are what society considers useful, rather than writing. Even if you were a great writer, there are already great books being published every day at a rate far greater than anyone can read them. There isn't really a need for more great writers, sad as it is.
It's a source of pride to know that I'm providing a useful service to society by working a normal job, and I feel that if I tried for years to be an artist and failed (as most do) I'd feel worse because I'd have contributed nothing except to consume resources.
There's also the fact that art is better if you have life experience. Would you trust an artistic rendition of the lives of normal people by someone who has never had to be a wageslave? Don't some of these writers have a sense of superiority and condescension towards normals, and can't relate to them? The ones who just write about characters that are also writers or hipster deadbeats? What use is their art to society anyway, if it has nothing to do with regular people? Maybe you should be a wageslave for 40 years and then write a book about that.
>>7534350
>>7535425
>most people can write well, just don't have anything interesting to say
Ha, that's a good one. Surely you're trolling. Or maybe you don't know anything about writing.
For me "writing well" means, out of many other things, being able to turn "uninteresting" stuff into interesting reading. Like, if you can turn the everyday life of a store clerk into something interesting to read, you probably have the skills.
>>7534889
>grand in an imposing or impressive way.
