>avoid adverbs
>use simple phrases
>use short words
>focus on the story, prose is just an obstacle you have to overcome
>>7505059
you're an idiot. it's the reverse. MFA retards think shitty purple prose will make their insipid bourgeois tripe, where nothing happens and people are depressed because le human condition, worth reading.
>>7505071
>le MFA maymay
>all MFAs write the same way
>MFA maymay is really just about how Iowa is shit.
Man, fuck Iowa.
>make every character's motivation clear
>le keep the memes coming senpai
Here's some real advice:
Avoid puncation at all cost.
Never use a pronoun when you could use an expletive
Names like Bill and Jack are over rated. Name your characters Pepsi and Fried Chicken and Godzilla.
You can never use enough cliches.
When you get tired and want to sleep, hold down the letter Z on your keyboard. This will rejuvenate you to new heights.
Everybody uses the bathroom and brushes their teethright? Make your characters do that otherwise the reader will know that what you're writing isn't real.
Name your chapters after Lays Potato chip flavours and always start them with description of the weather.
To increase productivity wear a diaper. The squishy poop rubbing on your balls will carry your creativity to unimaginable levels of creativity.
Always use fun ways to describe PoC, like nigger or porch monkey.
Don't be afraid to tackle tough issues like homosexuals in your writing.
Be mindful that other writers will try to deceive you under the guise of helping you
Never forget that there are people who will steal your ideas if you post them in critique threads
Make sure if you're writing a realistic book you don't put in unrealistic things, like fawns or ogres or smart women.
Have writers block? Steal something from a piece of work that doesn't have a copyright
>>7505294
>Never forget that there are people who will steal your ideas if you post them in critique threads
how often does this happen?
>>7505314
I couldn't possible tell you anon, but anons have made threads about it before and simply by that I wouldn't post anything you hope to publish in a critique thread. I wouldn't take the risk.
pic related's a good comment on critique threads
>>7505403
ok, that answers online posting in general. I had the notion of not posting anything I do online since I'm incredulous to begin with. How about offline critique? I found a group that does this near my area and most of them are traditionally published already. Hopefully, it's only the ideas that are stolen and not the entire MS.
>>7505403
honestly, i'd be happy if my work were stolen and recognized by society or published. it would mean that i can actually write. i think some of us pray that they see mr. douchebag mcjockstrap with one of our short stories making headlines, while we have a tear stained journal full of them on the shelf.
>>7505465
>How about offline critique?
Your guess is as good as mine. If you know and trust the people, and are a good judge of character, then I'd do it. However I would keep in mind that mediocrity can drive men to low depths. Where there is talent there is jealousy nearby.
>Hopefully, it's only the ideas that are stolen and not the entire MS.
MS?
>>7505513
That's unusual, man.
>>7505537
>MS
Manuscript
>>7505513
I think you might be the literary equivalent of a cuckold. This is interesting.
>NEVER USE THE PASSIVE VOICE!!!!
>Why?
>BECAUSE I WAS TOLD NEVER TO USE THE PASSIVE VOICE!!
>just write! you'll find "a voice"
>>7505041
"Avoid adverbs and adjectives" is solid advice...if you don't take it to the logical extreme.
