I blew it tonight, you guys. I really blew it. If you don't know me, I've been reading the classic novels. I figured it's good to experience the great works of art that have been made before I was born and also, and this is the main reason, I want to be able to recommend books to the girl I love. She enjoys reading. I took some time off from reading for a while after I finished The Stranger. I'm now halfway through Lord of the Flies. I'm not enjoying it as much as the other books I've read so far, it's a little heavy on adjectives for my taste, but it's definitely good enough for me to finish it.
I've been making these threads and people always make fun of me. I understand why. I'm pretty awkward, but I still think I have a chance with her. Well, tonight I screwed up. I botched a conversation worse than I ever have before. I started a conversation with her, that's progress for me. I just thought I'd say a few words to her, then leave. I was feeling confident because I was previously able to bring up my new reading hobby and mention a few books I've read. So I come up to her, say a few things and start to walk away, and then she says something that I didn't hear. I stutter like an idiot for a while pretending I did hear whatever she said. I don't know why I do that. You know how sometimes that works? You don't hear what somebody says but you say "yeah" anyway. Well here it didn't work. She just said "huh", and then I said the stupidest, most autistic thing I've ever said in my life: "I didn't hear what you said. I was just trying to end the conversation." I don't know why I said that, it just came out. I want to kill myself.
Anyway, I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time today. I was really great. It made me think of her, anything romantic does. She inspires me to be a better person, she really does. Anyway, in that movie they mention Alexander Pope. I'm interested in him now. Where do I start with him?
Thank you for reading. I needed to tell this story. I keep replaying it in my head. All I had to do was say "What?".
>>7448411
1. you don't love her
2. you're reading some lesser classics. If you haven't read at least King Lear and Hamlet, please do that
3. if she knows you at all she knows you're awkward because obviously you're socially awkward
write about in a fictional format
oh and Pope fucking blows. Just read some Percy Bryce Shelley or Robert Browning
Yeah, you know...just uh, avoid anything H.I.V. related, support transgendered people and faggots, and kill niggers, and it'll all be good.
>>7448411
Stop trying to impress girls and stop trying to improve yourself for a girl.
You seem to over think a lot of things. You need to create positive physical habits so that you don't have to think about it, so that when you go up to a girl its charming that you're embarrassed to be near her, not a horrific experience that makes you like bad movies.
Being in love is fun anon, and you should use this as an excuse to better yourself. Talking about reading to others as if it was your main hobby is about as interesting as talking about video games to random strangers. Literacy isn't an issue in the modern age and when people want to read they will. It should be a common interest before you start suggesting to other what they should do with their free time.
The books you read should make you grow as a person, not be trite proclamations of completion. Books should effect you in profound ways. You should focus reading on things you think will help change the way you see the world.
Please anon, don't make r9k /lit/ related, I know youre better than that.
>>7448434
This.
>>7448411
hey, it's okay. you're gonna be all right, bud. when it comes to the girl, she probably understands you're just awkward. i know it sounds impossible, but try to have a bit more confidence. the worst that can happen, won't. even that wasnt the worst. maybe try talking to people who arent her, and build yourself up to more social venues before tackling an attempt to bring her into your life. what's important is that you're trying to improve your life through reading, and taking some chances that you may not be comfortable with, but will help you grow as a person. good luck, bud. you'll be fine.
Anon, I hope you don't have designs on having premarital sex with her.
I need to remind you that any use of the sexual organs outside of sacramental marriage is a grave sin. That includes fornication--which is premarital sex--as well as homosexual sex of all kinds, and also includes masturbation, and also includes all sex which is not intended for procreation.
Now you've demonstrated through your myriad posts that you are awful around women. Maybe you shouldn't be bothering with romantic relationships at all. Maybe you should be a "eunuch for the sake of the Kingdom," as is written in the Gospels.
Basically, bitches ain't shit, have you ever considered becoming a priest?
these things just keep getting funnier, thanks OP you're shitposting is starting to come around
>>7448439
I hope she finds me charming. I can be funny sometimes, usually on purpose, and I really hope that sometimes crosses over into charming. I think here's my thinking about reading all these books. She loves reading a lot. I know that I don't have to have all the same interests as her, but my main interest is movies. I started watching all the classic films about three years ago. I love Hitchcock, Keaton, Bresson, all those guys. I don't have many hobbies other than that, so if we start going out, sooner or later she's going to be watching one of these movies with me. Now she's really smart, so I don't think she'd be put off by the black and white or subtitles, but if I'm going to get her to enjoy my hobby, I should try and get into hers.
>>7448443
Thanks for the kind words. She knows I'm awkward, but man, I've never blown it like this with anyone. And she's literally the one person I care about not blowing it with.
>>7448503
I don't think you understood my point at all anon.
>>7448507
I don't know which one was you.
I know you like your "creative writing" practice but really this is plain shitposting and this character you created is too banal to be worth the effort
>>7448522
I assure you, this is my real life, no matter how pathetic it may seem. I'd post a picture of her, but she's to pure to have a picture of herself floating around the internet for people to jerk off to. This is 4chan after all.
>>7448434
There's only one I'm trying to impress. There's only one I've ever felt anything like this for. I don't think there's no chance either. She's said a few things that taken together give me hope that she kind of likes me too. I just have trouble talking sometimes.
This is why we tell you to start with the Greeks.
>>7448411
I don't hear my gf literally all the time when she talks. all men do this.
although
>I was just trying to end the conversation
is pretty autistic. still, I've said this to my gf on a couple of occasions when caught, and it wasn't a big deal. you must be very ugly/unlikable to begin with.
did you scoop up all your spaghettis
>>7449405
I just left it all out there, man. I wanted to die.
why do ppl keep bumping this stupid KFC ad? it's been up for a fuvking day already
>>7448411
Yeah, I've been infatuated too. Fucking sucks. Try to get over it.
ALl this angst over self analysis...
Just say to yourself, I'm me, I'm different and that's not only not terrible but actually fucking great. Own who you are.
If you said
>"I didn't hear what you said. I was just trying to end the conversation."
That's you. Be in yourself, its fine. After saying something like that you can say 'Now I want to die.' get out of your head and express yourself.
>>7449317
Is being in love what normies call this subset of delusional thought disorder?
Feeling heart broken? Don't feel bad...get a bucket of the Colonel's Spicy Hotwings! For $8.99 you get enough finger licken goodness to feed the whole family! Or one fat austist in a fedora! Either way nobody does it like KFC!
Order now and get a free 2 liter bottled of Mountain Dew!
lmao is this fucking thread for real?
you aren't in love you dumb twat, you are obsessing over her because of your fucking autism and inexperience, not because of anything special about HER
The bad news is that you are in fact autistic. Sorry.
Good news is you can remedy your "situation" by telling her everything you wrote here. Communication is actually really easy.
Your only hope here is for her to think your autism is attractive or cute in some way.
It's quite simple. Next time instead of saying or doing the first thing that comes into your mind, take some time to process the situation and say what you need to say.
And believe me, you might feel shy or awkward but you need to grow out of it, because you're going to miss lots of things and you will regret it. Believe me.
>>>/r9k/
I know that feel though... I sometimes just ignore people to see if they'll repeat themselves with more clarity even though I have ubermensch hearing when do not feel pressured. They probably think I'm either deaf or just an asshole. Just give up.
>>7448411
here we go again.
>YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN A GIRL BY HAVING THE SAME INTERESTS AS HER
sure it's good to have things to talk about but to win a girl's Heart, not her mind, you have to work on how she feels about you.
having fun instead of having a conversation. relating to each other over emotional matters like family and friends and enemies. you're not ready yet but you eventually need to learn how to flirt and tease.
honestly you should be reading books on socializing instead of novels. start here:
>The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine
if you're poor, get it at the library or buy a used copy on amazon.
you need to learn the basics of walking, ie having a conversation, before you learn higher level stuff. (and no i'm not talking about PUA bullshit.) if you want to talk more about this, post a throwaway email.
>>7448439
>eternal sunshine
>bad movie
come on
>>7451776
I know I can't win her heart by having common interests, but I think it would be nice. And really, that isn't the only reason I'm reading. I'm trying to experience all of the classics movies. I want to get the books too. Slaughterhouse-Five has been my favorite so far. I can usually talk to her alright. Yesterday was just extremely bad for some reason. Her face was hard to explain, sort of confused, a little speechless. It was painful.
>>7449317
>>7452167
you absolutely don't love her and there's absolutely no chance. love ONLY exists when both people agree to it. call me when the rejection happens. you will immediately see the error of your ways
on another note, good on you for reading the canon. there's no excuse to avoid reading it.
>>7452167
You sound really anxious. Try talking and socializing with her in a crowd first. Be with friends and socialize with her. You need to start having social contact before planting interests.
>>7448411
Holy shit anon, this went from a blog post to a cringe thread to a feels thread.
You don't love anyone you don't know, don't say you do because you don't, it's impossible. Take up a physical hobby or something and stop being such a fucking fag, stop trying to impress girls or change yourself for them or care what they think. It isn't worth it and, get this, they fucking hate it when you do that. Honestly, no woman wants to be in charge of anything, they want you to be in charge and they know, even if they say different, that some gayboy that tries to do what they want isn't in charge.
>>7454338
I didn't expect this thread to still be up. Anyway, you must have missed my previous threads. I know her, she's a friend of mine. We talk often. I've known her since she was like, 11. I'm a few years older. I always thought she was pretty cool, but a while back I started to really enjoy being around her. She gets more beautiful every time I see her, which is nice, but I'm always worried she'll start to attract undesirables, that is, guys more alpha than me who own cars and things. I think my best bet is to try and be more sincere. I never say anything meaningful. I think I'll try and compliment her when I see her tomorrow. Hopefully I can override the memory of my epic blunder from Thursday.
>>7448411
You're a fucking failure and a fraud.
>>7454676
>I'm always worried she'll start to attract undesirables, that is, guys more alpha than me who own cars and things
Wouldn't you be the 'undesirable' in this context? Are you saying that girls DON'T desire alpha guys who own cars and other stuff? That they'll be attracted to your broke,beta ass?
What's the big deal, anon? Describe her.
>>7454707
I meant undesirable for me.
>>7454716
Well, she's really smart. Most teen girls don't make me want to hang out with them for very long, but I enjoy hearing what she has to say. She's feminine, but not girly, if you know what I mean. She wears jeans and is great with power tools, but she's still very much a girl. She only wears dresses on special occasions, and I don't think she even wears makeup usually, but she always looks amazing. We can joke around a lot. Her face scrunches up in a really cute way when she laughs.
I've been attracted to other girls before. Most of them I thought were pretty, but their personalities weren't my type, or I realized that they didn't think of me in that way, so I never pursued anything. I've never been on a date. I'd get over her if I really thought I was hopeless, but she's said a few things that make me think I have a chance. If I told you one of them you'd say it doesn't mean anything, but all of them together give me hope.
>>7448411
>>7454788
"This too shall pass".
Literary inclinations aside, the fundamental issue here is whether you might be to her what she is to you.
It's not likely. Imagine yourself in her place: you (if you're her) probably know you're smart AND cute (most teenage girls are keenly aware of their attractiveness relative to other teenage girls), and you've got this funny but inept guy talking to you sometimes. He's nice, but that's that. You don't give much thought to it ([did she ever talk to you in the same way you ever thought of her / talked to her? do you feel genuine similarity /affinity to her in the way you see things?])
--
I mean, dude. I've been through this. You think about someone more, in more detail, than they'll ever think of anything ever in their damn life. You have hopes, you lose hopes, you fuck up, you have high times, low times, you fuck up again, you pass her the goddamn love letter, and then she says she likes you, just not in *that* sort of way.
I hope I'm wrong, but that's how it ends most of the time.
>If I told you one of them you'd say it doesn't mean anything, but all of them together give me hope.
The best you can do is stop worrying. If she's not meant to be with you, off with her then. No reason to suffer for someone who has no inkling of what you're going through. Few things are worse than giving a damn about something that no one else gives a damn about.
>>7454866
This 2bh.
But, the guy just souds so pathetic with shit like
>If I told you one of them you'd say it doesn't mean anything, but all of them together give me hope
that your message isn't going to register until it's too late.
>>7454904
I'll just hope he either gets the girl, or else handles the impending denial with dignity and becomes a better human being.
>>7448411
you think too much.
stop over-analyzing things. from what you've typed out you sound extremely stuck in your head.
start doing things for yourself and quit having some sad-sack pathetic as fuck narrative going on in your wormy brain. you start by ignoring it.
good luck, don't kill yourself.
