Okay /lit/, for the last 4 years I collected greentexts obsessively like an autist child, and now I compiled a book out of the best of them.
If you want to get it, go do it free.
Pic related.
Greentext stories are the second worst aspect of 4chan after memes.
>>7445115
>hates nearly everything about the place
>stays
>>7445115
Greentext stories are literally best.
you're selling this shit? fuck off
>>7445128
0.00
I wonder how many people are still in the process of doing for a tentative buck this since the idea was floated around
Waiting for reviews on goodreads
>>7445124
Im a masochist.
and man its a good time to be alive.
Link?
Make a physical copy you slag
>>7445109
This was already made.
can someone upload the file somewhere not Amazon?
>>7446755
This desu senpai.
>>7446755
Get it done
You're late to the party, pal.
Mines been up for close to a year.
And yes you are an autist of the worst sort
>>7446778
are you the legendary ann hiro? could you sign my post please, it's for my nephew
>>7445109
Why even write an introduction when your prose is so shit?
>the text in the book isn't green
One job.
>>7445109
This could have been the argument for greentexts as a unique form of their own with some value.
Then you start on the shit related ones. fug
>>7445109
>tfw you take and write notes in greentext
It's just such an efficient way to shorthand.
I imagine op collected shitty stories though.
>be me
You have literally already fucked up. You can tell someone is straight from reddit when they start a greentext story like this.
Now fuck off back to reddit.
>>7446910
Greentext does have its own (relatively) consistent rules and forms. It would be interesting to see an academic examination of it.
One thing I always marvel at is the greentext form wherein an entire story is told through negation, IE something like:
>you will never go to the store
>you will never run into Jack Bauer in the cereal aisle
>he will never [etc, etc]
>>7445109
>Aapo Nikkanen is a Paris based artist and an author who spends way too much time online.
>artist
You sure make no effort to actually create anything of value now do you?
>>7447171
some /fit/ autist wrote his thesis on fit. It included a section on greentexting
>>7446910
OP here, nothing wrong with shit related stories, I think they are important part of greentexts. I honestly see greentexts as an authentic internet formed literary form, you can make a poem dealing shit too you know.
>>7447174
Probably hard to believe, but this thing took me 4 years to make. It included reading thousands of very shitty greentexts just to find one that was good and an elevator company that helped me out.
>>7447167
Fuck reddit, if someone should pay for this, it's them, which leads to my next point:
>>7446738
>>7446755
>>7446758
>>7446768
Here: http://tempsend.com/A2A1482DC6
>>7447171
Someone should write a book about the laws of greentext.
>>7445109
Thanks mr. chinese guy
>>7447418
this is good. thank you. nice cover as well
v a p o r w a v e
>>7447486
Probably just an essay at best. but, since 4chin is trendy they could probably publish it and present it within a sociological academic setting.
double listing in the list of abbreviations
You should print it in Lulu a la Legacy of Totalitarianism under Anonymous, which basically makes it out to be just over printing price.
>>7448718
OP here, where is that?
>>7448820
pt as personal/physical trainer is there twice, so is tfw.
>>7447167
It's a call back to the oldest forms. You know what else only someone straight from reddit would use? Latin. CONTEXT.
>>7447167
>You can tell someone is straight from reddit when they start a greentext story like this.
This is how it was done years ago at the very beginning. You're just aping old patterns and pretending like all of this haet machine shit is still relevant and worth saving.
The party is over. You missed it, you newkid.
>>7447418
I can't believe that I downloaded this shit.
And will read it.
>>7445109
this is of genuine interest to me, I've read some genuinely spectacular greentexts over the years, the ones shared only as screencaps can be hard to find, did you OCR/transcribe some capped stories or did you only save ones readily available as text? either way I'd pay for a copy of this, especially if you were to include another section not for stories but just really out of place sincere/blogposty/expositional responses, some of those can b cool too but if you want to keep it pure I feel you.
there was this long as fuck one on mu in '10/'11 that was about this guys keked up relationship with a love interest over the years and busking nmh songs, never found it again, if anyone knows what im talking about sauce would b appreciated
>>7449093
tfw when you realize you cannot not like it.
>>7449139
99% are screencaps because that's how they circulate and that's how I save them myself also. Yes, there was shitloads of printing and transcribing involved (actually the biggest archive I have is in paper prints if you can believe it). I prefer to keep at least this edition pure.
I vaguely remember the one you are talking about (or similar), I can check after christmas if I have it in the prints (they are now in the storage) or in my old computer. That's not in the book though.
I enjoyed reading the first few pages, nice job! I'll get back to it later
>>7446841
Why yes I am, and autographs cost extra
>all rights reserved
>All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
>be me
>pissed off at this blatant ripoff
>by some scandinavian dude nonetheless
>download epub
>it's got the foodbro/chillbro greentext
>aw yeah
>>7447418
Miksi, oi Aapo. M i k s i.
>>7445109
thanks anon, will read
>>7445109
Nigga, pdf that shit or gtfo
>>7450769
>>7450769
>someone still thinks pdf is a good format for reading
>tfw
>no one posting reviews
>no one posting excerpts
>>7447418
Epub even, ty
Greentext stories are literally the only 4chan meme I still like. When they are good, that is.
>>7447418
bless you anon
PDF : http://tempsend.com/DD2E467118
For those who just want to skim in their computer
>>7447167
It's the original format, and it is still in frequent use at /b/ and basically all of 4chan. When did you invent all this bullshit about Reddit habits.
>>7447418
Nigger if you need a cover could design something. If you want professional help ask to /gd/.
Also greentext and text is not green.
>>7451146
Not being ungrateful or anything but you could've put some margins on the pdf.
>>7451202
I just shoved it into a converter, I understand you though, sorry mate.
>>7451146
>http://tempsend.com/DD2E467118
thanks mate
thanks op.
greentext is an evolution of the poem form.
>>7445115
You belong right here on /lit/.
>tfw your story isn't in it
Train Man
can anyone upload the epub to zippyshare or something?
for whatever reason, it won't dl from amazon
>>7445109
Excellent choice of final greentext
Should've guessed it, OP is Finnish memester.
>>7446753
this to be honest family
>>7446753
OP here. Yes would be nice, but working with a publishing house would have meant that I would have lost most of the power over the book. For example the price of the digi. Now I can just do what ever the fuck I want with it and then next year see about the physical copy. Don't have to worry about the publishing house removing links if I want to give it to 4chan for free for example. Although to be honest, for me it makes perfect sense that the book is digital. I think it it's a perfect smartphone book.
>>7452209
Here you go, I'm using tempseed so I can see how many people dl it.
http://tempsend.com/46F277A8A2
>>7452232
Out of all the great greentexts, that remains to be my favourite.
>>7447174
pic related.
.
>>7453062
>I'm using tempseed so I can see how many people dl it.
Can you let us know the numbers?
Token not found or someshit, how do I fix this?
FUCK YOU. I've been doing the same thing for the same amount of time. FUCK.
this sucks man. fucking hivemind. At least i took the effort to change any grammar mistakes, removing 'secret club' jokes and such
>>7445109
Link doesn't work
>>7453697
>changing the origin
Sure is a tragedy to know a worse verision of the book became irrelevant.
>$4.00
\thread
>>7453697
>hing for the same amount of time. FUCK.
>this sucks man. fucking hivemind. At least i took the effort to change any grammar mistakes, removing
just do a better job and release yours too.
>>7445109
personally, i like the funny ones
>>7445109
LOL is that a Vonnegut imitation at the top?
>>7453062
rehost requested
>>7445109
This is fucking awesome man! Would really like to possibly see something like this for tales from /tg/ or general gametales.
anons need to share this, fuck your tempsend
>>7457189
This. I need a comfy sunday. Please.
>>7455981
http://tempsend.com/C87E581256
fucking thank you OP
this is brilliant
>>7453951
Lol. I guess you didn't read the book, op did a good job including with the editing. I think of myself as a greentext encyclopedia and there were ones I didnt even know about. Thanks op.
thank you op im sure this will be fun
>I would like to acknowledge Kone Foundation that helped to create this book.
Did you get a grant for this shit?
>>7457386
not mobile friendly. rehost pls.
>>7453062
You can put it on lulu or something, people can pay the minimum price of printing the thing.
>>7445109
http://aapoaapo.com/current--upcoming
Kek
>>7457498
Important question. Begs the question, why would a grant be given for a bag of shitposts?
OP here with some answers.
>>7453273
Hard to say the exact number, because at the moment most of the downloads are coming through here, but I'd say around 1000 free downloads so far.
With paid downloads I have an accurate number: it is 3, which means I can buy 3 packs of noodles sometime in February.
>>7457498
Yes, I have no need to hide this information. It wasn't solely for the book though. I got a grant Finnish elevator company that gives money to very strange art / literature / sociologist etc. projects (scandinavia wtf rite). Needless to say the book would never had been the quality it is if I hadn't had time to work on it full time for few months.
>inb4 how much?
I will give you the numbers: basically they gave me a grant to cover my basic living expenses for 4 months, around 1700-1800 USD / month (after tax / social security / etc payments). It might seem like much, but I'm living in Paris which is expensive. In my day job (3/4 time) I make average 1300 USD / month, which really is not enough, so I spread most of the grant money to balance some of the rest of the year + bought a computer. So, people who think I got somehow rich out of this can refer to this. Of course I'm very happy about the grant, it was great: I got a brand new computer and to work 2 months focused only on the thing that I loved, so I'm very happy about it. I mean, who wouldn't be happy in that situation?
>inb4 I could have done it
Yes completely true, but don't be fooled that this somehow happened overnight. The whole process took 4 years from which especially in the last 6 months took a very big amount of time and effort.
>>7457528
artfag here, so if anything is printed I want to have it done right. I don't think quality is so great in POD. But you can always print the ebook / pdf if you prefer to read from paper. Would be a dream to publish a physical book one day though, whether it would be this or another one.
>>7457802
>Needless to say the book would never had been the quality it is if I hadn't had time to work on it full time for few months.
what work other than collecting stories did you have to do? Isn't it just time-consuming?
>>7447167
do you also think that
>mfw
>mfw I have no face
is from reddit too
>pic related mfw
>mfw when i have no face
>>7457802
Interesting. Fellow aspiring artfag here and I should look into what grants are available around me. Would be nice to make a living pursuing some more creative endeavours instead of continuously flipping burgers until I deteriorate.
OP here.
>>7457848
Yes, very time consuming, collecting and selecting.
The biggest challenge was selecting the stories and their order. What I used as a tool was that I made a story card for each story (like they used to do in cinema when it was still film). Then I just started putting them in order (I mean at this point I had read all the stories in the final selection of 200-300 so many times I knew them by heart). Sounded like a simple plan, but actually was very nerve-racking.
>>7457861
Yes you should try, grants will not be a magic solution to quit your day job (I'm in one right now too), but they can really help a lot. Otherwise 1/2 - 2/3 time jobs are great since you can still work on your own stuff.
>>7457848
...also transcribing and editing, forgot to mention those.
>>7457903
what is there to transcribe and edit if you collect stories?
>>7457525
>1.4 megabytes
>Book
Welp, here goes nothing, I'll let ya know if i get a virus m8s ;)
>>7457802
Neat, I'm pretty jealous and might have to look into grants for a similar project at some point. 4chan is fascinating in a sociological-type way, and the whole "getting paid to hang out on image boards" angle is appealing even if that's an oversimplification or misrepresentation of your work.
>>7457924
It has images in it, for what it's worth. Shouldn't have a virus, but I didnt create the pdf so I woun't vouch.
OP, you could post a Dogecoin (or Bitcoin) address for some donations
>>7457924
>current year
>being this computer illiterate
>>7458070
Wonder how much study of 4chan could be done. I feel a book composed of greentexts captures most-of.
OP here.
>>7457922
Well generally greentexts circulate as screenshots, and that's also how I save them. Editing is mostly typos or improving the language, but there were also stories that were good, but had some problems in them (for example they were illogical). In those cases I would edit them more. All in all greentexting is so compressed language, that changing even one word can make a big difference, so it's easy to get stuck reviewing things over and over.
>>7458075
Most certainly, thank you for the noodles.
1FUknf9Qmy8wstta3emh33HTGgyYrTM8Jn
pic related, not the most classic, but my favourite spaghetti story.
>>7445109
It's not free unless you have kindle unlimited or wanna buy the kindle version for .99¢,nigger.
>>7458543
>reads zero replies in the thread
>smells like cunt
Must be a cunt.
It's alright. The selections were kind of basic /b/ stuff, which is okay but in future collections like this I'd like to see /lit/ better-represented
>>7458673
yeah, this.
why skewed so heavily to /b/ and /fit/, OP?
>>7457897
Read it til the end and there are a couple of good ones. If you've been lurking for 2 years you're probably familiar wih atleast 80% of the good stuff. Enjoyed it none the less, but to be honest I was hoping for more.
Could you tell us more about the selection process? Sometimes I felt there was some theme tying it together but it kind of faded in and out. How many texts didn't make it into the final version.?Also, get rid of the typos. Unless they were in the original, then I guess they are fine. Appreciate the effort though.
>>7458421
>be me
>be good boy
>sent sum satoshis to big greentext collector
Posting 3 good short ones1/3
>been wanting to die for some time now
>feels come every night
>when not wanting to die, take preventative measures to keep myself feeling comfortable with suicide
>other day I literally bought a dildo and hid it in my room
>can’t knowingly kill myself when it is possible that my family will find it after I’ve died
>so far it’s working
>I add more items when the urge arises
Nah, just gonna be two. 2/2
>be last night
>crying in my car in front of McDonald’s near my house, eating french fries and listening my sad playlist
>black guy comes, taps on my window and just gives me a life changing advice
>”It’s going to be ok lil nigga you can do it.”
OP here.
>>7458877
>>7458673
I was trying to think of the selection from the point of view of someone who had never seen a greentext, as if the book would exists without any context. This was the selection and order I came up with, and of course in the end it's subjective. But at the same time it's not just a collection of most circulated greentexts, although they do make the body of it. It's also not a pure collection, I took liberties while making it (see the end of this post).
>>7458879
>selection process
The most important thing for me was, and still is, in regards to any story, is to have a story I want to believe in. Whether the story is actually true or not is insignificant. For this reason there are no spaghettis in the book for instance.
As for the book, there is a logic in how the book is composed: it starts of light, and when you finish the it-stories you'll (hopefully) be hooked, then it builds up until it hits the feels part. Hopefully the last story leaves you in peace with the absurdity of the world.
>typos
Please let me know, will fix.
>>7458937
This is a good example of editing and of the idea that greentexting can be considered as its own literal form. It was originally just a normal 4chan post from which I made a greentext and the story became imo better than the original.
>>7458900
thank you anon.
>>7459121
OP I've been saving threads since maybe 2009. Just in case I wanted to read them again. Think you'd be interested? I'd have to go through my hard drives but I'm pretty sure I have a few hundred scattered about. Some will have greentexts and others might not though, I'd have to check each one. I also save a lot of screencapped ones.
I thought of doing that when I'd come across good threads and didn't know about archives or thought I'd never be able to read them again, was previously using the program to help me with school work. I'm not gonna lie, I've also thought of starting a book or blog with tons of greentexts available, like daily or something.
>>7459121
As someone who's pretty well-acquainted with greentext by now, I was hoping for a greater diversity. Your collection, for better or worse, sort of felt like it could have taken place in one thread on /b/, but if you're interested in working on another, it might be good to go heavier on /lit/, /int/, etc. It's a good first volume
>>7459230
I'm this guy>>7459208
I'm about to start reading it but the threads I've saved are pretty much from the rest of the boards, I can't remember the last time I've been on /b/. My favorites are job, self defense, parents, family, and spooky/scary encounters, not skinwalkers though. I like /x/ but you can only read so many skinwalker greentexts before it all reads the same.
>>7459251
I haven't been on /b/ in awhile. Really greentext can only be personal or indirect, so probably a good volume would be about half first-person, half third-person, and in my opinion another collection should trend towards /lit/, because in fairness this is the only board that is actually interested in the putting together of words
>>7459121
OP the way you organized it was genius, i dont mean that as a figure of speech
one of the best literary experiences i've had. so good to read.
do another one that includes "Paradife Loft" and that "Seriously fuck Paris" one please
and give us a physical copy
>>7445109
>4 dollars
>not in paperback
Go fuck yourself
most of these are /b/? you actually read /b/ op? i am dissapoint
>>7453062
I would love a print version of this so I can show it to my future children while they are learning about 4chan in their history classes.
>>7453062
I would love a print version of this so I could show it to my future children while they're learning about 4chan in their history classes.
I don't really think there's much merit in this but that last one is oddly poignant.
>>7445109
So is this New Sincerity
Just finished, pretty good book.
Newfag here so I haven't seen most of those.
Laughs were had, tears were shed at the end.
OP, if you were to make another collection of these, would you consider devoting one to the obviously fictional ones like Paradife Loft or spaghetti stories? Or is the ostensible truth of these stories an essential part of your interest?
>>7445109
Honestly OP, i feel kinda fucked up. i've been working on my version for some years now and now it just seems i've wasted my time. I got 200 pages of greentexts with an average of 2 stories per page, all nullified now. I had set my hopes on publishing it and using the money (if there were to be any) to pursue my dreams of becoming a luthier.
oh well, c'est la vie.
Guess i'll just keep collecting stories until your version has been somewhat forgotten.
>>7461444
Yes, actually I've been thinking about this to send as kind of an extension zine that is much shorter! I love them too.
>>7461645
So far my royalties of this book are about 7 dollars, so I'm not quitting my day job quite yet...if I ever make some real money (with this or with something else), I promise to find a way to give something back to 4chan though.
>>7454657
Im fairly sure at least the last one was true
>>7461645
this kind of book won't make you rich
go on collecting and release another one next year, maybe you will even earn $10 to follow your dreams
>>7461645
200 pages at 2 stories per page is 4x more than this one. Just go through and remove all the duplicates then publish
>be me again
I would love to send something like this to my Grandmother for Christmas, but I'm worried it might be slightly too lewd.
>>7461888
nah, that's fine, grand parents are cooler than parents, they ve seen some shit
>>7461752
suppose i could try that. I was already kind of done with it, but i couldn't find time to learn Indesign to make the background and text colour the same as 4chan, so i just kept on going.
>>7461706
I assume it wouldn't, but there definitely is a possibility, not necessarily rich but any income would do . i think timing is essential. besides, have you seen how many shitty books are sold that refer to 'nerd culture', anonymous, hacktivists or some shit like that.
>>7461908
yeah, there are many books, but do they sell well, too? I don't think so.
>and it's the birthplace for instance of Anonymous and internet memes
wow, totally not attracting even more 12 y.o. normalfags
