professor greentext thread
>be me
>spend all semester working on antony and cleopatra paper
>be proud of it
>turn it to advisor
>in one margin scribbled is something about psychoanalysis being becheuse
>wtf
>i know french
>never heard of this
>look it up
>it's a pretentious way to say pretentious
>mfw
>>7397165
lmao I'm french and have never heard of this word either.
gr8 post desu
>be me
>creative writing
>halfway through semester
>first short story assignment
>write story
>A+
>don't have to read it aloud b/c it's too sexual
>word gets around
>people start asking for it
>all the girls want to read it
>this is sexy wow anon
>blow off all the other class assignments
>get an A for the class
>story was about phone sex and late term abortions
>mfw catholic hs
>mfw lit lifestyle
>mfw 10 years later shitposting all over /lit/
>sign up for beckett class
>this will be fun
>first half of the course is about Weimar Germany and theatre
>ok weird but whatever
>professor tells us the rest of the course will be about Mann ist Mann and Lebes Des Galilei
>ask when we're getting to beckett
>she looks confused
>tells me this is the brecht class
>i tell her i thought this was the beckett class
>"How Brechtian, anon"
>her fw
>be stem
>take class
>learn useful skills
>accept high paying job offer following graduation
>mfw
>>7397227
>not living the banana-bandana lifestyle
You need to be poor or you will never transcend the labyrinth, pal.
>>7397275
tell me more
>>7397212
I had a similar experience. I wrote a story about an homosexual relation between a naive, confused high school student and a young librarian with an erratic behavior. I had it set in an old Catholic school and curiously it impressed much more than it disturbed.
>>7397218
kek
>>7397165
>be me
>spend all semester hammering out papers filled with complete nonsense
>have a B going into the final week because it's a modern philosophy class
>professor gives us topics and deadline for our final paper
>do what i usually do and put it off until the night before
>finish writing paper about 20 minutes before the 12:30 deadline
>go to submit paper
>deadline was pushed up two hours to 10:30
>fail course
>>7397491
That sinking feeling right after you realize you missed a major deadline is so awful.
>>7398373
>not doing The Ego and Its Own
>>7398373
>mfw yr story is as baffling as yr class presentation
9.5/10
>>7398386
hahaha that day definitely showed me I'm in no way better than anyone no matter how smart I believed myself to be
>>7397440
Why would it be disturbing
five years ago
>be in AP Language and Comp class
>friends and I think we're /lit/-tier, or maybe not
>running joke about how long I can make coherent sentences
>criticism essay on Huck Finn
>one page-long (double-spaced) paragraph with two sentences
>friends see it
>friends decide I must be trying to fail class
>disgonbegud.jpg
>two weeks later
>get essays back
>highest marks
>teacher likes my "voice"
>whatever man, new nickname is Faulkner
>(nobody said friends were smart)
>>7398400
>AP
>Huck Finn
lol
>>7398405
>basically the whole joke
>thank you meme man
>Put almost no effort into essay about Archilochus
>88%
>Put a shit ton of effort into short story
>78%
>tfw your TA has no constructive feedback besides "make it shorter" (to be fair it was half a page too long) and "pronoun use"
>tfw all of his other comments are "wow that was really funny" and "great themes m8"
I'm not salty, I swear
>>7397515
Once I spent three classes wondering why my professor gave our class a break. Check syllabus, no assignments. Feels nice. Next class comes and the professor asked who wanted to present first.
>>7398416
kek
>>7398409
Tell me about your Archilocus essay, anon.
>be me
> in AP world history
>assigns a paper about Hitler
>annoyed as fuck
>every history class involves Hitler
>waits til last minute to get started
>starts writing
>sleep deprivation kicks in
>fuck Hitler i'll write about Tupac
>eventually I finish
>goes to bed
>wakes up an hour later
>print out essay before leaving for school
>turns in without reading it
>week later, we get ours back
>gets a B+
>whatthefuck.jpg
>note on the bottom says shes glad I noticed how every history class is dominated by hitler at some points
>gives me extra points for fighting the "oppression"
>is this bitch serious
>whatever
>looks over essay
>complete and utter trash
>basic Hitler stuff in first few paragraphs
>then out of now where Tupac appears
>write how Tupac knew what was up and what he would've done
>tfw you actually turned in a Hitler-Tupac essay and got a B+
I actually cringe at this story. That teacher was fucking nuts man. Maybe she felt sorry for me. I'm still baffled at this
>>7398437
You probably gave her such a good giggle she thought you deserved that grade m8
>>7397165
>spend weaks stressing and deleting drafts of my Keats paper
>the process brought me near tears
>get a B on it
>drunkenly pound out a paper on Great Expectations and Pride and Prejudice
>A
>an interesting an unorthodox Freudian analysis
I will never write sober again.
>>7398437
Yeah, why do American thought reprogramming centers focus on propagating their propo...
Oh yeah.
>>7397165
>tutoring an undergrad in a real subject (mathematics)
>complains about how he has to read a whole book and write a 3 page paper before next week
>ask how long the book is
>fewer than 200 pages
>ask what it's about
>"some shit about black slave women, i mean who the fuck cares about that shit?"
>tell him to just read the book in a night and write the paper because it's just 3 pages
>he later said he paid his friend $40 to write it for him
>my face when people actually get degrees for this
>Ethics class
>have to write an essay question on a test about which ethics system is the "most just"
>BTFO the question itself and attack the idea of objective ethics, Stirner syle
>get a 4/10
Luckily I did well on the rest of it and got like an 85% still
But seriously the idea of an "ethics" class is laughable once you have read Stirner, so many spooks
>>7399881
>he later said he paid his friend $40 to write it for him
I've had students literally spend twice the amount of time and effort finding ways of trying to get out of writing a paper than it would take them to actually sit down and write the fucking thing. It boggles the mind how some people think.
>>7399881
I knew a guy that would get paid to write papers for a friend's girlfriend. All the assignments were one page assignments asking him to either respond to the reading or write about something else that is completely unrelated.
He'd only get paid like $10-20 for these, but damn that's like getting paid a dollar a minute.
>>7399906
You don't need to read Stirner to realize the amount of spooks in the world
>>7399906
"most just"-type questions are intended to be subjective. you're supposed to demonstrate what you have learned by making an argument, not by being a "well everything is relative" edgelord faggot.
>>7400044
I mean... wouldn't appealing to a specific philosophy (IE, once that does not hold objective ethics) demonstrate learning and argumentative skills?
>>7399936
I'm guilty of this. I'm not dumb or lazy, but I have terrible irrational anxiety problems especially when it comes to school. I have a decent capacity for work as long as it's nothing important.
>>7397218
underrated post
>be me
>nobody, in russia
>currently a neet
>it's cold, also dark
>read stories in this thread
>vivid imagination kicks in
>having a great immersion
>universities, massive halls, professors, giant whiteboards, hippy-looking students everywhere, intelligent discussions, cute grills
>having a great time in general
thanks pals
>AP History course
>No real friends, don't have any non-academic conversations with anyone
>Threw-up saying hi to a crush once because of self-hatred/anxiety
>Only interaction I have with a female is my teacher
>Heavily infatuated, try really hard to impress her
>Trying too hard actually lowers my grade, go from a top student to below average
>Go from a A+ first semester to a 80 second semester
Anyone else suffer grade drops from having crushes on their teachers?
>>7397165
your advisor sounds like a cunt.
>year 11 (12?)
>taking higher-level english
>we're required to do a re-write of the miller's tale
>teacher says he really liked it
>tell him that the school has a creative writing competition coming up, in fact I think I recall him being the one running it
>"oh just leave it with me, I'll enter it for you"
>mfw he never entered my story
>>7397491
What? That's bullshit they can't push forward the time
>>7397218
I don't get it
>>7398437
The absurdity of this reminds me of my English 12 provincial final. For the composition portion we had to write on the prompt "how people have effected my life".
I finished the other shit super early so I spent 3/4 of the essay on that composition, oh right greentext
>thinking of what to do for comp
>essays always graded ruthlessly, or so I've heard, so I stick with a story, most highschool kids woudn''t write a good or even entertaining story to save their future firstborn child
>decide to basically rewrite Goldilocks and the 3 bears
>purple prose everywhere but lots of comedy
>rife with swear words, think I even used "cunt" a few times (& I'm not Aussie)
>turn the regular innocuous story into intense thriller/horror story, ridiculously excessive bloodbath, think Titus Andronicus but cheesy af, literary portrayal of gore as in like, Shaun of the Dead or something
>Goldilocks has hypercoagulation & the final climactic scene where she's brutally slain and eaten alive I spend two pages describing her legs are ripped off and BBQ'd while the top half of her body squirms and the bears just eat her
>blood on the walls, ceiling, etc., piercing screams fill the forest
>cut to prison scene
>papa bear is in jail writing memoir
>a guy caught him in the act of murder and after a short trial he's imprisoned for life
>focus on the bear's memoir
>"and now I spend my days sitting here, rotting, looking through the steel bars, if only I weren't caught by that person. And this is how people have effected my life"
I got 98%, I think those poor saps who grade the provincial papers basically must trudge through literally thousands of substance-less faux-memoirs circlejerking about their boring schoolyard shit so the guy grading was probably stoked just to read something different. We don't get those back though and I've always wanted to read it again and see if it was really that good
>>7399906
>BTFO
>4/10
m8
>>7397440
>curiously
SJWs
>be me
>taking online class
>weekly assignments due at 06:30 UTC
>determine this is 11:30 my time at the beginning of the semester
>daylight savings comes
>think nothing of it
>go to submit mid-term at 11:04
>error
>fuck
>>7401883
jej
>>7401883
>>7397440
I wrote a story about a gay man falling in love with a teenage male ballet dancer during a performance of Stravinsky's Petrushka in year twelve when we had to write a short story in the style of Katherine Mansfield and got 100% for the assignment. I guess teachers have all fallen for the gay meme
>>7397218
I once got the hour for an environmental science lecture wrong and went to the room was being used for a lecture on economics in china or something, i'm not too sure. The class was all talking about some small village that was becoming industrialised. Anyway, the professor asked me at one point 'so, you in the front row, how do you think the region could develop?'. I babble something about how soil composition so close to the sea may not be suitable for long term agriculture and industrial runoff would exasperate the problem. i think every party involved was very confused
>>7401993
Damn, glad your teachers were down with the rudie wordies. I did a creative writing class at uni where one assignment was a piece of non fiction, mine had the word 'cunt' five times in about 2,000 words. the teacher took marks off me for this, even though it was non fiction and I was writing about some friends who live in rural australia and smoke meth. shit was fucked
I think the last story I wrote in full was for a final exam in high school, 1500 words
>theme for our year is 'belonging'
>story starts with a cowboy chasing down a band of runaway horses
>cowboy notices one that sticks out, a wild horse
>band approaches a cliff, cowbody has the pack cornered
>rest of horses get caught but wild horse chooses instead to jump off the cliff
>cowboy watches him go in silence
>flash forward
>cowboy is cornered in a barn with authorities outside
>asked to come out peacefully
>swings open the barn door with gun in hand
>end
Pretty shit looking back on it
>>7397165
>mfw I pyschoanalysed the wife of Bath and got an A for the class
>>7399881
>he later said he paid his friend $40 to write it for him
That's what happens with people who study a 'real' subject
>>7401993
>effected
>>7402278
I life can be effected
>>7402247
that sounds good I'm stealing it
>>7401915
didn't have a crush on my teacher but i thought she was a babe and she tried to set me up with her daughter
>be in year twelve
>the literature teacher is like 60 year old lady
>her granddaughter is in my english class
>she's been there for 40 years, and before that her mother was the english teacher
>she gets sick in middle of year, and her daughter takes over the job
>third generation of english teacher from this one family
>bit of an english faculty dynasty
>to clarify, there's a girl in class (let's call her sally) and her mum is current english teacher, grandma was previous teacher, and great grandma was teacher before that
>anyway, i win award for best literature student
>sally's mum invites me to their house for dinner in congratulations
>doesn't seem that weird, I'm 18, just finished final year of school and i'm sort of friends with sally
>at dinner we talk about future plans
>sally has no interest in becoming a teacher
>her mum says 'maybe you could marry an english teacher and he can take over my job when i retire'
>immediately turns to me and says 'I think you would be a great english teacher, have you thought of that?'
>later on i go into sally's room because i want to borrow a book or something and while we were in there her mum walked past and shut the door on us
>i think she wanted us to fug
>>7402523
WELL???
did you??
>>>7401915
>Threw-up saying hi to a crush once because of self-hatred/anxiety
>Heavily infatuated, try really hard to impress her
>>7399906
Where should I start with Stirner to obtain this realization?
>>7402013
I have a Daylights Savings story too.
>take philosophy of Art class
>top student in many classes, even non major subjects
>readings from Aristotle, Nietzsche, Gadamer, Ingarden (no Schopenhauer or Adorno)
>this gon be gud
>get B on first paper, low mark for me
>day of mid-term is Monday after daylight savings
>spend Sunday studying hard, don't go out
>Go in to take exam
>Hallway is quiet
>wtf? Why is nobody around
>enter class, sit beside sister's friend
>"What are we doing today anon?"
>It's the midterm
>Look around, everyone is scribbling furiously
>panic.jpg
>I'm an hour late, get the test paper
>Finish exam in an hour
>A on exam, B+ in course
>>7402284
>how people effected my life
my parents fucked
>>7397165
The adjective " bécheuse " cannot be applied to an abstract notion. It just mean something like " snobbish " when talking about a girl. Plus it is really just something little girls call each other, so definitely inappropriate here.
>>7402943
it's definitely possible the wording was different i.e 'psychoanalysis makes you seem becheuse' or something of the sort. it was a few years ago. i'm reasonably certain my advisor wouldn't have used the word incorrectly.
