Write the most poetic Tinder profile you can, /lit/. prose submissions welcome
dick is fire af
not a raper, but also not a non-raper
>>7370266
Pic of me doing something expensive and WASPy
pic of me with attractive white women who look wealthy
pic of me with my mates playing sportsball
There ya go, that's the ideal tinder profile.
>>7370266
i am the kind of man
who your parents
wouldnt want to meet
in an alley
>>7370278
I smiled slightly at sportsball.
Big dick fuck you
That's what I wanna do
Wish I had a big dick
Once read a book about Kubla Khan and Xanadu
>>7370294
I say that as a guy who loves playing pretty much all sports, played a few at the varsity level in high school and one in college but dislikes watching them on TV and finds it odd and a little off-putting that women like ballplayers so much.
>>7370266
Fourteen years later. A loving couple standing by a frozen lake. "Remember how we met?" A fond smile shared.
I push you in.
Look at me. Look at my face. Look:
I will fuck you. Hard. I will fuck you in the night, I will fuck you in the day. I will fuck you in the winter and in blooming spring. I will fuck you in darkest Peru and on the Asian steppes; I will fuck you in space. I will fuck you on the Moon as well. We will fuck forever. Join me.
>>7370356
kekd
>>7370307
Someone on /fit/ recently listed olympic weightlifting (a branch of strength-based weightlifting activities, does not necessitate competing at olympic levels) on his profile, and his tinder exploded with chicks who thought they were getting pro athlete cock. Disgusting.
>>7370393
such is life. I'm either gonna try Tinder or its gonna be MGTOW
>>7370393
It's almost as if women want the fathers of their children to be impressive people. What cunts
>>7370401
it's almost as if none of those women are impressive people themselves in any way shape or form. What cunts
>>7370407
Ah, so you take offence to the *principle* of right-swiping people if you yourself are not on their tier. I take it then that you only ever right-swipe girls you you consider to be your social/genetic equal? Only the absolute dregs of humanity for your match list then.
Stop being such a fucking self-pitying hypocrite. You would do the exact same thing as those women if the roles were reversed and some chick mentioned (what sounded like) an impressive accolade on her profile. You would feel desire for a top-level partner. So do women. If you weren't such a bitter gutter NEET you would be content with that concept.
>>7370399
>mfw try tinder with fake facebook using some pics of a male model
>1 match all week
Why even bother actually using it
>>7370440
For sex. I have done multiple sex as a result of using the app. It was all bad and weird sex, mind, but sex nonetheless.
>>7370420
Sauce?
>>7370440
Probably looked fake. you gotta be more convincing.
>>7370487
Used candid pics from an IG account of a very minor but still very attractive model
>>7370427
>You would do the exact same thing as those women if the roles were reversed and some chick mentioned (what sounded like) an impressive accolade on her profile. You would feel desire for a top-level partner
>thinking men care about "accolades"
>thinking a female "top level partner" has anything to do with accolades
>>7370569
Not that guy, but high-achieving men absolutely do want impressive female partners. I graduated an Ivy League university and work in the field I dreamed of as a child. Tried going on dates with cute girls who worked at Chipotle or studied pharmacy at some random college and they always just seemed dull and small-minded compared to the girls I went to school with even though they were super hot. Now I'm a huge elitist about dating.
Maybe all the misogyny on 4chan would be a little less extreme if folks here didn't just hang out with trash-tier people/women.
>>7370670
Nice classism. I hope you will be tortured and brutally killed come the revolution.
>>7370670
the majority of these neets also live in amerishit, land of the distasteful plebs
>>7370679
People who never go anywhere or read anything are boring. People I went to school with were in nonstop motion except when they were reading. Deal with it.
>>7370679
Not that guy - actually, I'm the guy that the guy distinguished himself from by saying "not that guy" - but I have the exact same outlook as him. Same pattern of experiences too. It's sucks, because I'm bleeding-heart progressive liberal as they come, and you have a point - it's much easier to be 'clever and interesting' if you've grown up in a higher-class household were intellectual pursuits are encouraged. And I, having grown up in a similar sort of household and placing a massive importance on my partner being 'clever and interesting', am only going to help propagate the class divide another generation. Sigh.
>engaging this seriously with an obvious troll
>>7370273
fucking underrated
>>7370420
sauce ??????????????
>>7370266
I make big cums.
>>7370679
>killed come the revolution
This is what salty commie fags unironically say
>>7370724
respect diversity, appropriationist scum!
these women do not need to be saved by what you consider "interesting"
>>7370420
Sauce pls
>>7370427
Its am empirically proven fact that women have disproportionately high standard. As a product of hypergamy and entitlement the average woman will rate the average man significantly lower than they ought to otherwise.
Consequently, attractive men become average, very attractive men become desirable and only the truly rare cream of the crop is considered attractive.
Men generally aren't as choosy, and are much closer to rating looks appropriate to "the average".
That being said, it all comes down to status and sexual economy, its not much of the fault of women that men are such horn-dogs that they'll fuck any type of woman rather than trying to have higher standards.
>>7371254
fedora man
to the rescue
>>7371254
Shouldn't women be choosy so they aren't sluts?
Passionate gamer looking for new and lucrative ways to aquire street cred
>>7370569
Arguably more poetic in the metaphysical sense than anything you fucks have posted.
>>7371287
I'll give you ten dollars to suck my thick Johnson. 2$ tip if you swallow. Wait, scratch that. I'd rather cum on your face.
>>7371303
..alright
>>7371254
anyone who talks about dating like this is a guaranteed red-pilled permavirgin spaz
>>7371291
>i like to pretend i know what words mean
>>7371254
pls dont bring your men's rights bullshit to /lit/ we are already overladen with shitposts and ignorant reactionism
>>7370393
>Someone on /fit/ recently listed olympic weightlifting (a branch of strength-based weightlifting activities, does not necessitate competing at olympic levels) on his profile, and his tinder exploded with chicks who thought they were getting pro athlete cock. Disgusting.
just as there are betas willing to fuck them, there are betas willing to provide for them.
the situation is created by women, and being resentful shows betaness.
>>7371313
Sorry, I'm high. I know you grok my meaning.
>>7370420
>tfw just started nofap
Thanks a lot dickhead
>>7371388
>grok
hello reddit
/r9k/ the post.
>wahh athletes get so many grills
if you have an ounce of intellect and a decent body, not even athletic, you can snap up beautiful women all over the world. I wish we could purge 4chan of /vg/, gamers are the only people retarded enough to think that they've acquired some secret knowledge from shitty Marvel films and women reject them because they're "deep" and "profound"
For sale: ball gag, never worn
It only lists my my height, two heavily filtered ig pictures and:
"I am waiting for the lonely abyss of my black coffe to stare back"
>>7370356
take me.
>>7370329
underrated post
>>7371291
You only think this because you want to fuck that arrangement of pixels, you pathetic fucking monkey
>>7371311
>applying reason to sexuality is verboten
Scurry along now, don't you have a witch to burn
>>7370427
Nae bruh cos I actually know what oly lifting is, seen ?
more poetry less bitch
>>7370670
Condensed version of the Oxbridge pasta, nice.
I see you baby
shakin that ass
shakin that ass
shakin that ass
shakin that ass
I like to fuck you
All night fucking long slutbitch
I like to fuck you
>>7370670
I can't tell whether this is bait, but I think you're right regarding the misogynistic views on 4chan. I shared a lot of those views throughout young adulthood. However, after deciding to go back to university and gaining admittance into a more prestigious college, I wound up finding out that there's a sizable number of intelligent, interesting, and attractive women out there who you never seem to come into contact with if you're living in a sleepy suburb or the lower middle class part of the city, as I had been. Now, after socializing with these young women at my university for a while, I have a lot more respect for women in general.
>>7372808
It's not that I prefer these women because they're generally of a higher class. It's that the values and lifestyles of the people belonging to the higher classes more closely resemble my own. If a woman from a lower class background cared about education and self-improvement, if she had interesting things to say on a variety of subjects, I'd likely find her attractive.
My cunny is as spread as the abyss;
My anus, in its depth, is Tartarine;
Worn smooth as Fenrir's fetter from Chad's piss
Is my gullet, now thirsting for your ween.
>>7372608
Except I'm serious. Why is it so hard for people to believe that the students at selective schools may be on average more dynamic and interesting than the average at less selective ones? Even the alcoholic sloots at Harvard can postcoitally have a better conversation about Shakespeare than most of the people on /lit/.
>>7372802
Not bait at all. People here are just resistant to believing that their experience is limited at all.
>>7372831
>It's not that I prefer these women because they're generally of a higher class. It's that the values and lifestyles of the people belonging to the higher classes more closely resemble my own
AND I'M A WALKING CONTRADIIICTIOOON AND IIIII GOT NOOOO RIIIGHT
>>7370273
beautiful
>>7370420
wow, she is a qtpa2t
>>7372907
That's not a contradiction. Do you know what a contradiction is?
>>7372831
>I'm not classist, I just think that the upper classes set the norm for being an interesting person.
>>7373164
>He has interests commonly shared with upper class
>he likes people with the same interests, regardless of class
>people of upper class just often have those interests
Really not that hard to comprehend. Nothing classist about this. If I love tennis, polo and sailing and want people in my life with the same interests it's of course going to be mostly upper class. Mostly though and regardless of my own social standing.
"The only thing lower than my standards is my self esteem"
>>7373937
Unfortunately this leads inevitably to a class bias, it's almost akin to preferring an accent. Sure, someone can change their accent and adopt one of a higher social class, but laregly you will just exclude people. Also tennis is for cunts.
>>7373164
Problem? Upper class people have more personal freedom and resources to draw on owing to their social connections and lack of money-related stresses, such that they have a better opportunity to self-actualize than less privileged members of society.
Ffs he mentioned education and self-improvement as the aspect of that self-actualizing he admired. It's not like he was going all goo-goo eyed over summering in the hamptons and doing a lot of cocaine on yachts or whatever the fuck indolent rich jackasses do.
>>7374113
>tennis is for cunts
>>7370670
That last line perfectly describes what's wrong with boards like /r9k/. I met a shitload of intelligent women solely because I did not limit myself to my surroundings/school.
>>7374164
>Implying that upper class people aren't the most boring humourless people on earth.
>>7374257
I didn't imply that tho. I said that they had opportunity. You could have top tier potential and still turn into trash if you were raised poor and had to work 12 hours a day in a Chinese factory from the age of 9.
>>7374276
Implying that Chinese factory workers don't know cool af magic tricks .
>>7374164
>Problem? Upper class people have more personal freedom and resources to draw on owing to their social connections and lack of money-related stresses, such that they have a better opportunity to self-actualize than less privileged members of society.
You're conflating 'self-actualization' with happiness. You don't need any of the standardized fucking garbage of modern world to live a happy life.
You're gonna lie to cover up I'm predicting but your post is implying affluent people are somehow better because they have more money. You're contradiction is aimed at the statement calling someone out for being a classist, which you are not disputing, you're just admitting you're an asshole and a classist and don't care
>>7374309
>You're contradiction
baka
>>7374309
Jesus fucking christ all this projection. Dude, my point was just that if you have social/economic/educational resources and financial safety, you're more likely to be able to become the person you want to be because you're not gonna get distracted by the pressing need to make sure you're fed and clothed. Most people can't be who they want to be because they're rightfully terrified of dying on the street if they take one too many risks.
I really don't think this is a controversial point.
>>7370266
Every woman adores a Fascist
let me know how it goes because I'm too afraid to try it
>>7374332
There's a selfishness though in wanting to be friends strictly with people who don't go through any severe hardships you'd have to help them with. It's so you can have more me-time
>>7374347
...now you're just glorifying hardship.
Btw I prolly should have made this clear but I wasn't the person you were responding to. I'm a guy from a lower middle class family who grew up in poor rural area and who went to a school full of upper middle and upper class kids.
Dude, they really are better, on average. There is absolutely no benefit to being poor or having hardship. The people who come out of hardship looking noble would have been good people regardless of context. All hardship does is reduce the person you can be and what you can offer to people.
Dude, do I really need to remind you that life is unfair and that it sucks?
>>7374346
If you're referring to something I'd really like a link.
>>7374358
>>7374355
nice unfalsifiable nonsense
>>7374372
>unfalsifiable nonsense
Nice scientism m'sir!
>>7374379
>>7370427
Hahahahaha holy shit could you be any madder you fucking cow?
>if you're under 6'0 swipe left :)
>>7374415
>if you're not [insert unilateral unrealistic standards] swipe left
>>7370427
>Spotted the woman in the thread.
>>7374853
>Spotted the goat fucker in the thread.
>using tinder
LMAO at your lives
Join a church and get married, faggots
>>7374309
Some of the biggest sluts and narcissistic cunts I've ever met were all upper middle class women who were well educated.
>>7370273
Raper as in someone who raps, right?
I always thought those were two words that should take each other's place: Think about it, what's a good portmanteau of 'rap' and 'artist'?
>>7374861
>gauls
>>7370356
>>7370356
Pretty good ohana.
former sad and pathetic virgin here; lost my virginity (recently, I might add) to a girl I met on tinder. And the best part is I opened by asking her what she thought Thomas Pynchon's great novel was.
tbqh, I have a sneaking suspicion she browses /lit/ and 4chan in general, though I'm not completely socially retarded so that's not something I'd ever bring up in person. So I'm kinda half waiting for her respond to this post and confirm my worst fears.
>>7372028
>coffe
Coffee fags and coffee cunts should be sent to gulag desu.
You are more annoying than vegans ffs
>>7374859
Hey I think you'd be a lot more comfortable if you removed all the sand from your vagina
>>7370273
10/20
>>7374915
Rapper.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
>tfw this is my actual tinder profile
>tfw matches have dried up since I changed it to this
>>7376458
I don't have a vagina.
>>7370356
Holy shit, this is genius.
Let’s go babe, you and I,
When the night’s straddling the sky
Like a passed-out drunk guy.
Let’s walk down frat row.
Yeah, let’s go
And remember our night in the HiHo Motel
And that wack restaurant with bad oysters. Hell!
Frat row that flows like a stream of spilt beer
When the keg is empty
To point us to the question…
But don’t ask “Where’s the other keg?”
I’d rather sit here and fondle your leg.
At the rager the chicks come and go
Talking about art or something, I don’t know.
The smoke that hits the windows
Yeah, the smoke that hits the windows
Got sucked into my lungs,
Stayed in the pool at the bottom of the bong,
Let the ashes from the cigarettes fall in it,
Slipped under the door, moved real quick,
And since it was football season,
Sprinted down to the field and disappeared real slick.
And for sure there’s gonna be time
For the smoke in the street
To hit the windows;
There’s gonna be time, there’s gonna be time
(Is that from a Dave Matthews song?)
To get ready to meet the brothers you meet;
There’s gonna be time to win and lose,
And time for all the games and scrimmages
That get your picture in the local news;
Time for you and time for me,
And time for a hundred hip-hop-hoorays,
And for a hundred plays and replays,
Before we go hang out with Steve.
At the rager the chicks come and go
Talking about art or something, I don’t know.
And for sure there’s gonna be time
To think “Will they stare?” and “Will they stare?”
If I turn around and trip on a stair,
I’ll put a cap on over my thinning hair—
(They’d say: “Man, dude should buy some Rogaine!”)
My Hilfiger coat, my Abercrombie sweater pulled over my shirt,
My sneakers, Nike and wicked expensive, but still covered in dirt—
(They’d say: “Man, he’d look better in a skirt!”)
Will they stare
If I mess everything up?
In a minute there’s time
For plays and replays that a ref’s call will reverse.
‘Cause I know everything already:
I know the nights, mornings, afternoons,
I measured out my life in bottles of Boone’s;
I know the cheers that die out steady
Before we take another drink.
So what am I supposed to think?
And I know the eyes already, know ‘em all—
The eyes that look at you in a smoked-up haze,
And when I’m baked, taking a munchie run to Dairy Mart.
Or when I’m staring at the fractal poster on my wall,
Then how should I start
To throw out all the butts from my cigarette-smoking days?
And what am I supposed to think?
And I know the arms already, know ‘em all—
Arms with bracelets that are pale and bare
(But under black light, covered in glowing blue hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me think so messed?
Arms that lie on the sofa, or hold a pom-pom ball.
And what am I supposed to think?
And where should I start?
Should I say, I’ve walked at night down frat row
And watched the smoke come up from the joints
Of lonely guys in T-shirts, leaning out the windows…?
I should’ve been a pair of worn-out cleats
Stumbling across turf in empty fields.
And the drunk guy sleeps so peacefully
Soothed by your cooing
Asleep…tired…or passed out.
Stretched out on the floor, here are you and me.
Should I, after another Coors Light,
Have the strength to force out a climax?
But even though I got drunk and passed out, got drunk and spewed,
Even though I’ve seen my liver (turned all fatty) brought in on a plate,
I’m no D-1 player—this is not a shocker;
I’ve seen the eternal coach burn my varsity coat, and laugh,
And really, I almost shit my pants.
And would it’ve been worth it, after all,
After the Schnapps, the Bud, the Grateful Dead
Around the bong, around some talk about you and me in bed,
Would it’ve been worthwhile
To have made the field goal with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a football
To throw it at some crazy-big end zone.
To say, I am Jerry Garcia, back from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, “I’m a gonna tell you all”—
If somebody, hitting the sack real hard,
Says: “I didn’t say that at all.
That’s not it at all, you douche.”
And would it’ve been worth it, after all,
Would it’ve been worthwhile,
After the movies and the semi-formals and the keggers,
After the pornos, after the bowls, after the skirts that hike up to the waist from the floor—
And this, and a hell of a lot more?
Nobody understands me!
But like a Zeppelin laser show put the feelings on the ceiling:
Would it’ve been worth it
If somebody, hitting the sack or taking off her pants
And throwing bottles out the window, says:
“I didn’t say that at all.
That’s not it at all, you douche.”
>>7377222
No! I’m not Tarantino, and I wasn’t supposed to be;
I’m a cameraman, one that’ll do
To shoot a take, start a scene or two,
Advise the director; no joke, he’s a tool,
Kinda laid-back, a little flaky,
Hip, chill, with a real nice pad;
Full of sweet ideas, but kinda crazy;
Sometimes even almost wack
Sometimes almost a douche.
I’m gettin’ old, man…I’m gettin’ old…
Gonna wear my pleated khakis rolled.
Do I need a comb-over? Can I eat this bean dip?
I’m gonna wear loafers and stop looking hip.
I heard the mermaids singing on that bad trip.
I don’t think they were really singing to me.
But I saw them floating on the waves
Brushing their hair in that flashback
Before everything went all black.
We’ve tripped a lot
And seen other mermaids
Till the nurse sedates us, and we’re out.
>>7377250
sad
I want you to love me more...but...for real, and so I know that you love me really...and that's a lot of it, for me and not unknown. Out in the open do I know more everyday that you love me more.
>>7375052
you were alright for a first-timer :^)
>>7370329
I like this
>>7370266
Looking for that special non-jewish someone who knows that Israel did 9/11. I like spending times outdoors and reading when I'm not watching youtube documentaries on how Mossad agents brought down the towers. Why did the dancing Isrealis start filming the towers before the planes hit? Its questions like these that make my heart flutter.
I'm not looking to just hook-up but I want a real relationship where we can talk to our hearts content about why the FBI found explosives in the Isrealis van or why they had fake passes to work in the WTC. Big fan of Thai food.
>>7376645
Then there's no hope for you
