Your mortal enemy has made his final boner- he has named YOU godfather/godmother of his newborn child!
That fool doesn't even know you hate him.
What books do you give the child to ensure your rival's seed is ruined?
Age X: Book A
Age Q: Book M
etc
>>7365058
too drunk to think of answers right now, but this post is fucking masterful.
>>7365058
Raise that kid to be a feminized little kuck, no problem.
>tfw no mortal enemies
>tfw not christian so I don't blame the child for the sins of the father
Give her Lolita
>>7365058
Shit about transgenderism. shitty novels containing transgenders, some regurgitated pseudo-spiritual ''God loves everyone no matter what you do'' Christian shit, Plato's Symposium, and some De Sade.
>>7365058
Young; something tedious and exhausting to dissuade the little bastard from ever enjoying reading
Tween: World of Warcraft novels, so everyone knows what a loser he is.
Teen: Hemingway and Freud, so he'll be seen as obnoxious and pretentious by his peers and to ensure he never gets a girlfriend
Adult: Almost exclusively Tom Clancy and Lee Child so everyone knows how boring he is as a person and how much he's dissatisfied with his 9-5 job.
>>7365146
>>7365058
How to get revenge on your former bestfriend for stealing your highschool crush:
>You will need: a good 17 years of patience, a position that allows you to contact the firstborn child, preferably a boy. For example: being it's godfather or 'that friend of the family' they call 'uncle'.
>When the child is born, start giving it presents at christmas and his birthday. Not books yet, but just little things to befriend the family.
>As soon as its old enough to recognize you, give it playthings, stuffed animals, anything the kid likes so that he'll become sympathetic to you.
>When it starts to read, you start feeding him childeren's books to ensure a later fondness of reading. Perhaps even read it stories yourself. Winnie the Pooh, Watership Down etc seem like good choices. This is crucial, as he'll have to like reading for the plan to work. If it's a total retard: abort mission and try again on the next child.
>When it has grown fond of stories, at about the age of 10 give him adventurous stories. Darren Shan, maybe even some teen post apocalys stories. As long as he learns to have fun reading. His parents will be proud of him, thus strengthening the bond you'll later cut off. For maximum effect.
>After those adventures, follow up with cozy stuff to get him through the hard years of 11-14. The Eragon series, The Hobbit, Lord of the rings. Cozy and most important: giving him the skills to read that are neccesary for the plan.
>When you've awoken the love for outdoors adventure with LOTR, at age 15 give him 'Into the wild'. He should be able to comprehend a little and you can start feeding him the notion of being 'different'. He might even run off and get himself killed in the wild. Premature, but you'll see his father mourn nonetheless.
>At 16, the time when he first comes into contact with heartbreak, give him Poe and 'The Sorrows of young werther'. Not to kill him yet, just make him more vulnerable, draw out the emotion he can't handle yet. But as you give the books tell him with a wink "not to overreact, you'll get more insights later.".
>Kid gets wrecked by the books in combination with his first heartbreak and by the time he's 17 you give him "The Steppewolf" and anything by Schopenhauer, convincing him these are the 'insights' you spoke off and with some tape you hide a razor on the last page. Emotionally overwhelmed by these theories, unable to process them because of his young age, vulnerable because of the oversensitivity Goethe grew in him he'll take the razor and slit his wrists.
>You now get to watch your rival mourn the suicide of his firstborn. Victory!
>>7365343
Good post. I'm trying this, I'll tell you if it worked in a couple of decades.
>>7365102
>implying he'll read it
>>7365165
perfect answer.
>>7365343
That's pretty fucked up anon.
