>He knew about pussies, had glimpsed more than a few on HBO and CinemaSpank (before his folks got wise and blocked the premium cable channels), but these were shaved pussies. Pete wasn't sure what the big deal was- to him they looked sort of oogy- but he supposed he might get with the program when he was older. Besides, the bare titties made up for it. Bare titties were fuckin awesome.
I like most of King's books. He's a fantastic storyteller. But holy shit, every once and a while he spews out some vomit like this onto the page. It almost makes me want to stop reading. This shit is just painful to look at. What's King's problem? It's like he can't help himself. Does he think kids actually talk and think like this? Shit is so cheesy and stilted.
Bare titties are awesome though. What are you a faggot?
>>7333144
shaved pussies and bare titties are great
Every metaphor King makes makes me feel embarrassed for him. I'd rather read the result of him throwing his keyboard at a wall.
>>7333160
What are you, 10 years old?
What he is is an immensely inadequate writer on a sentence-by-sentence, paragraph-by-paragraph, book-by-book basis.
This is what makes him great cheeseburger lit. Because we enjoy reading it and we know is bad or us regardless we end up eating them. Who doesn't enjoy a good chesseburger .....with tits.
What the fuck book is that from
>>7333144
You're reading it through the character's lens, hearing his thoughts. If it elicited that sort of reaction from you then King did his job.
>>7333199
But how many millions of books have you sold, Harold?
I remember when we had HBO and Cinemax along with our basic cable when I was a kid and I watched all the sexy stuff they showed late at night. It's how I learned what sex was. King is wrong though, I definitely liked looking at the pussies.
>>7333212
He sells pretty well, actually.
>>7333144
I like king too, but you have to get used to the fact that most of his shit is complete garbage, with the occasional gem.
>shitting on Stephen King
this board is garbage
>>7333232
Agreed. Let's go back to reddit, Anon, where they liek quality literature such as Stephen King.
>>7333234
Bloom is more entertaining to read than Stephen King IMO.
>>7333238
Hahahaha... Why?
>>7333245
He talks about books that are actually interesting instead of writing novels that suck (except for that one time)
>>7333247
Yeah, he writes about great books, but he's a terrible writer. Unbearable at times. So, he doesn't have shit taste, but he should just make mixtapes or something. At least King is fun. ilymtaf
>>7333205
The Bazaar of Bad Dreams, first story
>>7333144
I know. I got a good chuckle when he described a character's eyes as being baseballs. I love when he spins stuff like that because I can feel a thousand autists crying out at once.
>>7333144
nothing wrong with this? its just a frank telling of the character desu
>people give me shit for never having read King
>tfw see King threads on /lit/
Poor unfortunate souls.
>>7333144
kek'd heartily. King is a master of just being Stephen King. truly the best Stephen King out there.
>>7333188
Why, was he talking like one?
Its supposed to be repulsive OP. the character is disturbed.
>they looked sort of oogy
Ain't that the truth. A real girl has a nice limp hormone shrunken feminine cock
>>7333144
Kids do talk like that, I know because I've met children who said those exact words regarding tits.
The oogy part is strange though.
>tfw totally did stay up late to see tits and ass on SBS as a child
>>7333144
>Though he was of a naive age, he new what he didn't have. He would so briefly glance at the slit of older women on television. "Wowzers," he though. "Gee wilikers, those pussies look neato I tell you." His parents had heard him once again and had enough. "Butters I told you to go to sleep." "B-b-but dad, I was just looking at the uh, clean shaven furrets on tv." the boy retorted knowing that those jiggly tear drops were much better.
What's the diff between King and trash?
>>7333144
King has a 'good old regular American folk' obsession. I think he's trying to be clever by portraying blunt realism in his normal-people characters but I often feel like it's trying too hard.
I get it, pubescent and near-pubescent males get horny and use slang. To be honest it's still a bad reflection. young teenagers come up with slang on their own terms. Nobody called them pussies when I was in school because it was too obvious, they were called muffs or cunts or even minis when even younger. Among kids slang is partly a code to obscure meaning from older people or at least soften the blow of the real term.
Writing it like the way he's written feels like exactly what it is; an old person trying to be down with the kids but missing the point.
>>7335202
This is exactly what I meant by posting this thread. You said it better than I ever could.
I feel like part of the reason King is this clueless is his astronomical fame. He can't help but be out of touch with how people really talk. When he enters a room, he IS the room. No one talks to him like a regular person anymore.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
King is entertaining airport literature, at best.
At. Best.
>>7335533
I disagree. He's written some less than stellar stuff, sure, but the guy's bibliography is full of genre masterpieces. Not literary masterpieces, I'll give you that. But miles better than most of the shit they sell in airports.
Pet Sematary, Dead Zone, Different Seasons, Carrie, 11/22/63, The Gunslinger, Night Shift, Skeleton Crew...
If you haven't read any of these I'd suggest you give them a shot. Might change your opinion.
