Hey /lit/,
I have this idea for a short story. Basically guy is emotionally crippled by his parents, lives a shitty life (emotionally) and decides he will kidnap a woman and amputate parts of her to sort of send a message to the world of visible and invisible handicaps. Story also touches questions of god's existence, his (in)activity and male(manifest) and female(latent) power in society.
Now I'm thinking what sort of amputation would be proper (perhaps i could take something biblical?) to reflect this man's emotional scars? I was thinking amputation of feet. Perhaps also arms? Acid disfigurment? But his goal is not to disfigure, but to represent loss. Blinding the wictim? Destruction of her hearing? (It will be a her since society deems young women as an important asset. Even if this notion is cliche and sexist). Still, from a rather harsh perspective, it seems amputation takes little from females. (pic related)
Got anything on this? Except its muh fetish, cringeworthy and beta.
thanks
it's shit
>>8157834
You're a weirdo.
Go back to /r9k/
>>8157834
What's his connection to handicapped people? Why does he care about them? Why does he decide to do it? Did his emotional crippling lead him down this path, or was it arbitrary (his choice to go after handicapped people)?
Why do you want to bring God into it? Does it have to do with his emotional crippling?
Does amputation really take little away from women? Like your image, arms perhaps don't take away much; however, personally, if it were her legs being gone I would find her less attractive.
Perhaps explore your own fetish. Does it have a limit? What drives it, if anything?
Keep going, OP. Don't mind the haters. Write what you want to write.
I've seen this movie at least three times.
>>8157886
>What's his connection to handicapped people? Why does he care about them? Why does he decide to do it? Did his emotional crippling lead him down this path, or was it arbitrary (his choice to go after handicapped people)?
He wants for encripplement to reflect his damage. And he wants to do it to a young mother with high social status, since society values these most.
>Why do you want to bring God into it? Does it have to do with his emotional crippling?
Well character's consclusion is: God gave me the parents I got. Also, he brought him onto her path. Same attention should be brought to his wounds(latent) as it will be to hers(manifest).
>Does amputation really take little away from women? Like your image, arms perhaps don't take away much; however, personally, if it were her legs being gone I would find her less attractive.
Yeah it's a radical notion, I agree. I'd like to intertwine some symbolysm, perhaps like amputation of cloritis in Antichrist.
>Perhaps explore your own fetish. Does it have a limit? What drives it, if anything?
What inspires me in this case is the covert way in which damage is done to children, but especially males and I'd like to make this story to reflect part of this.
>>8157894
>hay guys i'm a fat shutin and i hate women because they don't talk to me, please help me with my halfwit power fantasies
It's a cliche, i agree. And that'swhy its a challenge. But i like the concept physical disfigurement = emotional disfigurement.
>>8157898
post your pic. I want to see how ugly you are
>>8157900
here
>>8157904
You're rotund, la
>>8157834
>Basically guy is emotionally crippled by his parents
I'd love to hear you go into detail of how this happens.
shit idea. a book about kids sucking their own Dicks would be funnier
Is there one american writer not trying to write the next great american novel that will be the novel of its generation and a true mark of its time?
Is there one american writer not trying to shoehorn God and god complexes into his work because all medias he's seen growing up have some form of connection to christianity?
>>8157908
In the story, or here? Basically drunk/distant dad, emotionally draining/vampiric mother and there we go. Abuse upon abuse and ta-da. All it takes is for him to live in such an environment for first year.
>>8157918
Not American. Not even an English native speaker. I just like 4chan and its harshness.
>>8157894
You sound just as jaded as the fucknuts you describe.
>>8157898
>society values these most
I'm not sure this is the case. Unless you mean among mothers in general; but, even then, I'm not sure I follow.
>God gave [him] the parents [he] got
Why does he still believe in God then? Why not just reject God and use that to justify his actions?
>it's a radical notion
I don't think it's necessarily radical. I was wondering how deeply you had thought about this idea, since it seemed easy to find a counterexample to. If symbolism is what you're after, then go for it.
>in which damage is done to children
What do you mean by "damage"? And by focusing on males I'm guessing you mean to your main character. If that's the case, why does he go after a woman?
>>8157948
>I'm not sure this is the case. Unless you mean among mothers in general; but, even then, I'm not sure I follow.
Well, societally, men are most disposable elements of society. If you have a society with 1 man and 100 women, this man can easily impregnate 100 women and continue the line. If situation is reversed, society is ended. Thatswhy men were sent to wars, used to work in mines, on oil rigs and all dirty and dangerous jobs. Complete opposition to this is a healthy child-bearing woman. Boys, from young age, are emotionally crippled (boys dont cry) in order to be used as fodder for society.
>Why does he still believe in God then? Why not just reject God and use that to justify his actions?
That is not a bad idea, but I like the God aspect to be questioned in this.
>
What do you mean by "damage"? And by focusing on males I'm guessing you mean to your main character. If that's the case, why does he go after a woman?
Indeed I do. He goes after most venerated member of society, as stated. Mutilating another man would be just a crime. This is a sacrilige that will cause outcry in society. I'm thinking of using some paralels to Breivik too. He struck at softest tissue of society to emphasize his ideological point.
>>8157954
Your view of society is one of many. For example you could argue that very old people are viewed as disposable elements, and even then it's one of many views of one of many cultures (in Western culture old people are disposable, not so much in Eastern cultures).
Hence, why concentrate on women when a classist view could be also argued? To repeat your examples:
Societally, the poor are disposable elements of society. They're sent to war, work dangerous jobs. Complete opposition is the healthy rich people who have a good education. If you have a situation with one very rich man and 100 poors the poors will all obey the rich guy because he's got everything. The poor, from a young age, are emotionally crippled (being poor is shameful) in order to be used as fodder for society.
I'm no saying go full communist revolution, I'm saying those arguments you presented about society are not the last of the absolute truths and so your short story fall into the realm of bad short stories because you have to follow the writer's mindset and hamfisted goal from beginning to end. It's like you have a message to pass on but don't know how.
>>8158018
Nobody says I seek absolute truths. I just find this segment of society interesting and more i think about it, the more does forced amputations seem appropriate for the story (male expression of power/distress being reflection of female execution of power which is subtle). I would love the criticysm to grow out of this story - as long as it makes people think. In this case I want it to be rather postmodern - everyone will see something else in it.
Also you are totally right about the poor.
>>8157834
1. include your second paragraph as introduction
2. hands and feet
>>8157919
>drunk/distant dad, emotionally draining/vampiric mother
boring.
>>8158053
He should scalp her and then realize that he was the vain one all along.
>>8157898
Why would you imply that physical disfigurment equals emotional? Thats a trashy idea that goes nowhere
>>8159182
The only problem with scalping is it might kill her, but I'm not sure about the facts on scalping. Maybe he could stitch some ass skin on her skull just to rub it in.
>>8159195
Scalping does not kill people. Indians have scalped and wictims have often survived.
you just played katawa shoujo didn't you
>>8157834
Go to >>>d and check out their amputation fetish threads. Then you will know all, my child.
>>8159266
Whoops, been on 4chan 7 years and never learned how to do that board redirect thing. Plz divulge your secrets, meme masters of 4chan.
>>8159266
I've actually checked some amputation vids on youtube. I'm skipping my steak tomorrow.
>>8159215
Yeah, hence the word "might."
this is a bad idea
>>8157834
It could be a masterpiece, or it could be gore erotica. You need to express the depth of his actions and his psychological brokenness to convey your message. Otherwise, you'll have a bunch of perverts jerking off to it.
Come to think of it, you'll make significantly more money if it turns out to be erotica. Your choice.
>>8157834
>I have this idea for a short story. Basically guy is emotionally crippled by his parents, lives a shitty life (emotionally) and decides he will kidnap a woman and amputate parts of her to sort of send a message to the world of visible and invisible handicaps. Story also touches questions of god's existence, his (in)activity and male(manifest) and female(latent) power in society.
The most pretentious /r9k/ garbage I have ever heard.
>>8157898
>God gave me the parents I got. Also, he brought him onto her path
That has nothing to do with the existence of God, but rather with predestination/destiny. Completely different topic.
