STORY TIME/ADVICE
I'm posting here because it's a safespace i guess, so i can freely talk about my crush on an FTM transboy. So yeah
Since this story is directed, sort of, to my crush, it's gonna be a story in the 2nd person. So that's gonna be cool.
But yeah, i just really wanted to confess my love for my friend. And i was wondering if you can "proofread" or just tell me if i'm saying too much, or if im giving him too much information.
I'm basically gonna call him up one night, when i know hes not busy and tell him (probably a shortened version) of the following. So this is kinda a script
Also, i'm changing the names and situations JUST A BIT. Just so that nobody I know or he knows sees this and tells him. But, it's probably still gonna be recognizable to my actual crush. So, if you, my crush, are reading this. Well. Oops. You found out before I wanted to tell you.
BACKGROUND:
>Senior year of highschool
>We both signed up to be part of the crew of Wizard of Oz at our school
>He is FTM.
>Going to the same college, so i'll still maybe get to see him after highschool.
And i'll clarify anything else that might be needed for the story.
STORY TIME STARTS NOW.
Intro
Ok. I really just want this conversation to be between us.
Alright, first off: I have had the biggest crush on you
I really do not know why I developed one on you. We have no classes together, and we only ever see eachother in the halls. And we only ever talked a lot during Wizard of Oz. You were honestly such a bad person to develop a crush on. Not because you are a bad person, but because we never see each other.
Now, i think you might have a boyfriend, so im not asking you out. I just promised my best friend that i would tell my crush that i liked them at the end of the year. Because, apparently because of the way i talked to her about you, and me telling her about all the things that made me happy because of you, she thought i had a chance with you.
But you probably have a boyfriend now, but i still promised her to tell you. And im doing that now.
Story (OMIT MOST?)
Lets go back a bit i guess
I remember one of the first times that i kinda payed attention to you, I was talking to the main sound guy about something, and you were like “HEY MAX”.
I had honestly forgot where i knew you from, but i said hi back. And then the next time you said hey, i finally asked “sorry, but i forgot where i know you from”
“We met at Maria’s party!” you said, sort of offended.
I finally remembered where i knew you from. And that was cool i guess
But after that, i forgot what happened.
I know that we started hanging out at the the booth, but im not sure if i kinda made my way into the booth to talk to you, or you invited me. But then we started talking about EVERYTHING. Holy crap i dont know why i did that. You are just so easy to talk to i guess.
I was talking to you about my other crushes. And mostly about my being bi/pan/queer/questioning, and me being confused or what not. And about my crippling low self esteem. Then i think we were talking about my anxiety when all of a sudden, BAM. feelings. I tried to ignore them for the rest of the performances of the play, because i wasn’t really sure if i wanted to go out with you. Honestly, with me being a hopeless romantic, or in other words, in love with the idea of being in love, i’ve always felt that relationships with me would be hella toxic for everyone involved.
To be honest, you are probably the person that i had developed a crush on the fastest. It takes me SUCH a long time for me to develop a crush on someone, usually.
OMIT maybe? i think that this MIGHT be offensive to him. but should i say this?
I mean, I guess you could say that I met you a year ago at maria’s party, and that my crush took hella long to develop, but
Please dont get mad at me, i never had a crush on ASHLEY. You just seem like a whole new person now then from who you were at the party, and right now i have a huge crush on YOU. BRENT. But back to the Wizard of Oz nights.
But the other night when i was dancing to Cold War Kids with you made my crush on you like 10x bigger.
It was really the first time that i had been able to be a bit extroverted in front of the theater kids. I had always been the shy one that didnt really do much. But, i dont know if it was because i had a crush on you, or because you just are so chill, i actually did it. It was hella fun. Maybe more so since it was with you.
I specifically remember you holding out your hand and were like “want to dance”
I rejected at first, but then i said “fuck it” in my head.
I stood up and grabbed your hand, and your other one to. And we just danced. For the rest of the song. It was magical i guess. I mean, it probably wasnt magical, my memory is probably clouded because of my crush on you.
>>6124757
In short, OP is a heckin moron who is overthinking.
Just do this:
Hey man. I like you. More than a friend.
That's it. And then wait.
>>6124816
OH FUCK. true.
but story time goes on i guess. cause why not. i already have it written.
After that was over, i forgot when, but we were sitting after a show or something, and i was gonna ask you if you were trans. I felt so bad afterwards, i felt like everything i was asking was offensive. But you seemed ok with it all.
To be honest, i felt that once i knew that you were trans, my crush on you would just instantly fade. But that didn’t happen at all. So i knew i had a pretty big crush on you.
But after that was over, or maybe the day after, we sat next to eachother up against the wall, as everyone was leaving, my ride hadnt got there yet, and yours probably didnt either.
But when we sat together, you took a pic of you breanna (i think thats her name) and me. I guess that was a good time
But then we went outside to say goodbye to jacob i think, and we sat up against the wall again, and you asked for my number.
Now at this point, i dont ever know if people want my number because they have a crush on me, or if they want to keep in touch and be better friends (my self esteem would probably always think the latter) but i was very surprised that you wanted my number.
Now, i wanted to text you everyday. But, my thoughts told me that you didnt want to text me all the time. So i never texted you at all often, so we only texted for a short time.
We only texted a couple more times, because of me buying a ukulele, or for you to tell me about quote on quote “OMG. TRANS NEWS. IM GONNA GO BY BRENT FROM NOW ON”.
But we saw eachother a lot in the halls. Sometimes i would get a hug, or a handshake.
But yeah. I talked about you to my friends a lot actually. Actually, I know for sure you know at least one of them.
But yeah they said that the way i talked about you and the way i got all blushy when they mentioned you, as in “hey, have you talked to josh recently?”. They said that that was cute. And apparently i only told them the good times we spent together (not that there were any bad parts), and that i was always so happy talking about you, that apparently they thought that i had a chance with you. They tried to convince me to ask you out, but i honestly didnt know how, or what i would do with you if we did go out.
But yeah. There was my best friend, lindsey, who told me to promise her that to tell you all of this by the end of the year. (Well not all of this, just that i had a crush on you)
>>6124843
should i not include a little of this story? if not, at least it's helping me cope with him having a boyfriend.
And then I see you got a boyfriend. I think. I dont know what michael is to you. But it seems a lot like hes your boyfriend.
But when i saw yall kissing eachother on the cheeks on my feed everything just kinda stopped. I felt numb for the next week. I felt empty.
I’m pretty sure ive told you about how i dont care if my crushes get bfs/gfs because theyre happy with someone, and if theyre happy, then i am happy.
But it took me way longer to realise that for you. I just felt so empty and depressed. It was selfish of me i guess, but i eventually felt that way. That youre happy, so i should be happy
Until i saw michael during lunch that one time and i got really irritable for the rest of lunch. But that was a one time thing i guess.
>>6124757
whaaaaaow. that's a whole lot to just tell someone you like them.
Now, i know that you might want to tell people about this conversation. But please please please please please promise me you arent going to tell anyone. Not even michael, or any other of your best friends.
I really just wanted to get this off my chest. And it took months plus friends plus my best friend’s promise to tell you.
Now, if see eachother in the halls again, i dont want you to make it awkward. I just want for us to still be friends. And honestly, i feel that over the summer my crush on you is going to fade anyway. So we should just act as if we’re still just friends, and that i dont have a crush on you. I really just want to be friends with you. I dont want things to be weird between us. I still want us to keep in touch and be friends. Hell, invite me to your graduation party or something. But please. Act as if we are only friends, and that i have never had a crush on you. Please do that?
END OF STORY TIME i guess
>>6124860
well yeah, im a horomonal teenager-almost-adult that is a hopeless romantic or whatever.
>>6124876
Just say you like him and maybe that part. If he likes you back then you can do the whole story thing. And good luck.
Update us
>>6124876
If you're going to say this then you might as well not tell him. Also, what's the point of falling back on your promise to your friend? If you YOU didn't wan tto tell him then YOU wouldn't do it.
