So I have been on hormones for like 2 years or so, and I thought I was trans (mtf)
However recently I have lost a lot of weight and my dysphoria has pretty much completely gone away. But I don't pass as a girl. I have no problems with my dick, and for some reason I also don't care about being a girl anymore. I really like being cute and feminine, but I honestly have been feeling like I don't mind remaining a boy. I've also been lusting after boys in a really gay way, like wanting to be with them as a boy and have our dicks touch and all that shit. It's just really weird and I don't get why this has all changed.
Was my dysphoria just an extremely powerful desire to be cute and fem, rather than be a girl? Has anyone else had something like this happen, where you got a bit cute and just didn't even care about going farther, feeling like you're perfect where you're at in the weird androgynous phase?
Also what am I even? Is the dysphoria going to come flying back or am I possibly done with it? I don't think I'm a tranny anymore, if I ever really was, but it's also confusing because I want to keep taking the hormones, however I have no desire to go girlmode at all and actually prefer the idea of staying like this.
What should I even tell people that I am?
Additional info: It's been a month since I was switched from spiro to cypro, might this have something to do with it?
What have you been doing for those two years other than this?
And see a good psychologist. I recommend someone with a PHD.
>>6100055
What do you mean?
I dunno I've just been working and such. Not really doing much of anything with my life. Right now I'm actually feeling really good too, the best I have in a long time. Looking at myself in the mirror and such makes me feel really good, and thinking of myself as a boy and remaining how I am now also makes me feel really good.
I'm kinda just thinking of going with the flow, staying on the hormones, and seeing if I keep liking this.
>my dysphoria has pretty much completely gone away
same tbqh
>I have no problems with my dick,
same tbqh
>I really like being cute and feminine
same tbqh
> I've also been lusting after boys in a really gay way, like wanting to be with them as a boy and have our dicks touch and all that shit
same tbqh
>I don't think I'm a tranny anymore
why do care if you are a tranny or not? just enjoy your life i guess?
you don't need people to define your life bro
femboi lyfe
>>6100081
>why do care if you are a tranny or not? just enjoy your life i guess?
I'm not sure. It just seems weird that now I'm all good. I mainly want to know what I should advertise myself as when I'm looking for partners and such things. Especially when I'm not planning to stop the hormones. I really don't care personally what I am, I'm actually really happy that things have turned out like this because it makes my life a shitload easier.
>same tbqh
Did it start being like that when you got cute and fem?
>>6100125
>I mainly want to know what I should advertise myself as when I'm looking for partners and such things. Especially when I'm not planning to stop the hormones.
hey that's one of my concerns too. What the hell should people make out of me? I mean if this was Dumblr I would probably use labels like non-binary but that shit is even more confusing to regular people than trannies. Maybe label yourself as a "man" just for shits and giggles but idk it might be a bad idea because some of those repressed "straight" dudes might get murderously angry lol
>Did it start being like that when you got cute and fem?
Yeah around the time when I started looking noticeably younger.
>has anyone else had something like this happen
Yep, we sound like we're pretty similar. I was on hrt 7 years before I realized that I had no desire to transition all the way.
I still get pretty bad dysphoria when I think about how I would have looked without hrt. I genuinely hate the idea of being physically masculine and having a beard and stuff. I'm not completely happy with how I look... but it could be much worse. On the other hand, I can't imagine myself with a vagina.
Even though I pass as a woman most of the time, I don't feel like I need to be recognized as a woman in order to be happy. I'm perfectly happy to be thought of as either as long as people aren't assholes about it.
I've also started thinking about guys in a really gay way too. I thought I was a transbian for years and dated a few girls. Meanwhile, I mostly fapped to yaoi and traps, so I was basically lying to myself. But now when I think about guys I think about how hot it would be if he treated me like a guy.
I mostly let people assume my gender based on how I'm dressed. I don't care whether they call me he or she, but ideally I think of myself as more of a 'they' I guess.
>>6100196
>>6100260
Damn, I'm glad I'm not the only one.
>>6100260
>I still get pretty bad dysphoria when I think about how I would have looked without hrt.
Yeah I feel pretty shitty when I look at photos from before taking hormones, or when I think of how I'd look now without them.
>>6100196
>Yeah around the time when I started looking noticeably younger.
That's good to hear, I hope that means it's going to remain like this.
>>6100315
good day lads. Current strat is to go on hrt and just keep my penis, see if I land in cute territory and define myself once I get there and can look at myself objectively. Pray for a fellow lost soul
>>6100196
Also I was thinking of just calling myself a twink or cute boy or something. The main issue IMO is probably my boobs ;.; but maybe some gay guys would be ok with dealing with them, I mean anyone into my looks would probably be bi anyway.
>>6100340
Twink isn't a very known word outside of gay culture, is it?
>>6100348
I dunno, but I want boys who are into cute boys, odds are they will know what that means right? Do I just call myself a femboy since that seems to come across better without someone having been exposed to the term before?
I can kind of relate. But I hate the social sphere I have put myself in. I am jealous of normal girls with normal friends and normal young women life styles. Maybe I was never meant to have that though
>>6100360
You know, that makes me think of another thing.
I actually like the lifestyle of a really feminine fag boy, and I've been noticing as my appearance and behavior has shifted into that, I've been treated differently by people and I really like how I'm seen by others now. I mean there's dicks who don't like fags but I don't really mind. I really like how people talk to me and treat me now.
>>6100016
wow putin's actually a QT
>>6100354
I guess since twink just implies a young fit guy.
Femboy sounds so corny but it's pretty descriptive to everyone tbqh.
>>6100391
Yeah it does sound a little corny lol. But it does describe it really well.
I might say I've just got hormonal disorders or something like that to explain it. It seems a little hard to explain to people that I'm taking girl hormones but I don't want to be a girl.
>>6100411
>I might say I've just got hormonal disorders
Yeah, I usually say I have a "thyroid problem" (whatever it means lol) and people usually go "oh k" without batting an eye
>>6100429
Yeah I've told it to coworkers with success, they completely stopped giving me shit and acting weird after that.
>>6100384
He sure is.
>>6100016
I've had a very similar experience over the past year. I took estrogen for six months and was happy and well on the path to transitioning to female in all aspects of my life. Then I gradually just stopped caring. I don't know if it was a combination of laziness and clarity or what, but I started getting really annoyed at how much effort it took to pass.
I was successful as a girl, but I didn't care about it any more. I'm happy just living as a boy. I still take spiro because I get freaked out by facial hair, but that's the only complaint I have that could be classified as "dysphoria". I like my dick and I've always lusted after boys in the same way you've described. Living androgynously and identifying/introducing myself as male has made me so much more relaxed. It honestly sounds like you're the same way.
I really don't think the desire to be a girl is going to come back, simply due to how much anxiety it gave me when I was constantly worrying about being clocked and worrying about my voice and all that.
Just be yourself and fuck convention/standards.
>>6100533
>I really don't think the desire to be a girl is going to come back, simply due to how much anxiety it gave me[. . .]
Yeah I totally feel that, it did give me anxiety thinking about trying to pass and worrying what people were going to think. Now I feel really relaxed and free for the first time in a long time. My life aside from this isn't even going that perfectly but I truly feel content and happy right now because I feel relieved that I don't have to worry about this shit anymore, and on top of it I'm loving how I look and it feels really good to be in this new role.
>>6100561
Exactly how I feel as well. Plus, being an androgynous cutie is always more desirable than a meh-5/10 tranny. So at least we have that going for us.
>>6100575
>being an androgynous cutie is always more desirable than a meh-5/10 tranny
For sure, that's another thing that's making me feel really good. My looks as a tranny were not so good. As a femboy though they are really good :DD.
>>6100016
>Also what am I even?
You are you. No more, no less.
Everyone is so fucking hung up on labels these days. When I was your age (yeah, fuck you, I'm an old man who's going to say "When I was your age") we worked like fucking monsters to shed labels, and now everyone wants to give themselves a fucking title like they're some kind of fucked up royalty.
Now look, I get it: when you feel all fucked up in your skin like you're in a body where you don't belong, and suddenly there's this group of people who all share a name or a label, there's a euphoric feeling, like suddenly, "My god, I finally make sense!" and like a black kid raised by white parents in suburbia your whole life, you meet a real live black family and now you feel as though you've found where you fucking belong, like there are people who fucking GET you for a change, and your body and your skin and your face is all suddenly less foreign to yourself. So we say, "Well, I'm trans!" or "I get it! I'm asexual!" or "I'm a fucking furry!" or whatever shit, and feels fucking GOOD to finally know who you are and where you belong.
But then there's this mad desire to go and label everyone else. I'm "cis"? What the fuck does that mean? And what the fuck do you know about me? I was thirty-six fucking years old before I ever heard people talk about "cisgendered". What does it do for you to say that? What does it do for me? It doesn't help me deal with feeling like I'm in the wrong fucking body or in the wrong fucking mind. I don't feel any less alien to the world around me.
Feeling fucked up and alien and weird -- this is the normal human condition. We all feel like that. And the quest to uncover what we really are, who we can really be, what we really want, and what we really need to make us feel completely whole, this is the human story. This is the journey we are all on.
(cont'd)
>>6100016
cont'd from
>>6100614
Look, you are you. Rejoice in the joys you find, revel in the things that make you feel as though you belong, love who you want to love and god damn everyone else. Don't get hung up on labels and which assortment of letters you feel your friends need for you to put together to make sense of you. It's not their job to make sense of you -- it's yours. And you do that on an a level that cannot be conveyed by mere words. True understanding of ourselves and others can only be expressed in art, in poetry -- and even then, it is merely the best metaphorical expression of a reality we know to be True.
Do you like being feminine? Be feminine. Like your dick? Keep it. Like boys? Get with boys. Does this make you gay? Does this make you transgender? Does this make you a transvestite? Who fucking cares? What the fuck do any of these words even fucking MEAN? They'll all just mean something fucking different twenty years from now, anyway.
Just be you. Be you. In all of your fucking glory. Love that you are the perfection of humanity as only you can represent.
>>6100016
>What should I even tell people that I am?
Got a fucking name? Use it. Don't like the one you were given? Choose another.
What should you even tell people you are? No one fucking cares.
You know, so long as you're not an asshole, anyway.
>>6100624
>>6100614
You know I actually am very against necessity for labels for everything, and it looks like you had a lot of built up anger at that issue to release. I am glad you released it and all that. I hate the million labels we have for everything these days "cis" and even "trans" and such included.
I am more wanting to know "wtf am i" for when I'm trying to find partners. If I look like an androgynous qt then gay guys might get a little butthurt if I just act like I'm some regular gay dude. Such cases. I am more trying to figure out how to describe myself to people than to find a label to put on myself to act like I belong to some group.
>>6100658
No anger here. Just a mad fucking passion that people let go of the need to explain themselves to everyone, particularly knowing that it means fuck all anyway since, in the end, what matters is whether or not you're a decent human being.
Assuming you are OP, you're the one who asked about labels, dude.
>Also what am I even?
>What should I even tell people that I am?
I was just responding.
>>6100658
Identity: Male.
Let others decide whether or not they're attracted to you. You might get more attention from bi guys than strictly gay guys though if you look confusingly androgynous. I'm bi myself and I wouldn't mind your hrt-boobs, but some gay guys get turned off at that prospect.
>>6100675
>Assuming you are OP, you're the one who asked about labels, dude.
I don't see the word label anywhere in my post.
I think it makes sense to wonder what the fuck I am when I'm not a normal boy, I'm not a tranny, I'm not a girl, I'm not a bunch of things. It's pretty retarded to sit there and just go "hurr hurr i'm just beeing myself :^)" without first thinking about how you feel about yourself, and talking to others about it, when it's such a huge self-identity shift. Now after thinking and talking more I'm much more sure, and yes, the answer is pretty much that I'm just going to bee myself :^) but if anyone asks me to describe myself I'll be saying feminine boy or something along those lines. That's not a label, either, that's an adjective and a noun that describe me.
>>6100743
adjectives and nouns are literally labels. words are labels for concepts and objects as we perceive them. stop being a defensive goose and just do whatever the fuck you want. doesn't mean anyone else will appreciate it, but no one but the people who love you ever will.
>>6101641
No, labels are adjectives and nouns that have become proper nouns to work as the name for a group of people. Adjectives, nouns, and words on their own, are not labels in the sense that we are talking of.
It's nice to see that i'm not alone, and others feel the same way as me. Stuck in that limbo between TGirl and femboy.
>>6100506
Looks like an actual Bond villain in that pic, goofy gun, and russian accent to boot
>>6100016
People think that dysphoria is something like a mental disorder. But it's just the discomfort with gender. Other things make you uncomfortable with your gender too, like autism and weight, actually there are lots of things that make you uncomfortable with your body. As a teenager and young adult you will have the most rollercoaster emotions that make you feel like shit for no reason.
People misinterpret these feelings for being transgender and they can only blame themselves for not making sure.
>>6102605
The TRANSTRENDERNATOR
>>6102605
Kek noice. I'm not detransitioning though, I'm simply not transitioning in the first place. I got to the cute androgynous fem point and felt like it was perfect. So here I am staying, plus whatever else the hormones do to me.
>>6102906
Yeah actually, spot on description.
>>6102952
>>6100016
>Was my dysphoria just an extremely powerful desire to be cute and fem, rather than be a girl?
yes
i also had a lot of my dysphoria cured from weight loss (didnt realize how much i gained around puberty that i never lost). this shouldnt be so strange considering dysphoria is a body image disorder. but people really latch onto the brain-sex bull....
