>known I was trans since I was 14
>too afraid to do anything about it
>no 19 year old man beast full of testosterone
>still too afraid to come out
TIME TO KILL MY SELF
>>5978166
Same, except I'm 21 now, and I've been unsure of myself since I was 14. If I could wake up as a girl tomorrow, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I just don't know if I could handle transitioning, and being hated by my family, friends and coworkers.
I'll be moving to my own apartment very soon. I've always lived with roommates or family members, so maybe now is the time to start seriously thinking about this. It's bothered me almost every day for the past 6 or 7 years, and even though the pain isn't so bad sometimes, it really really sucks at other times.
>>5978197
yeah man it's nice to know someone else feels the same way I do
>>5978166
>>5978197
Just transition jesus fuck, it's not even really that hard, just intimidating. I mean jesus, just force yourself by taking hormones you get on the internet, try your best to be a girl, fail, and through your failure learn how to actually be a girl. And coming out? You do that like a few times to a few people if you really don't want to, it's nerve-racking at first but it's not really a big deal either. To everyone else, you just don't. Don't justify yourself unnecessarily, and voila, nobody asks questions, because no one fucking cares.
Eventually you get over your stupid bullshit suicidal thing and start trying to put your life together for real, THAT's transitioning, all this is just a warm-up exercise.
>>no 19 year old man beast full of testosterone
Are you huge and stuff? Do you think you could still make a decent looking woman despite it?
>>5978341
Yeah I'm prett much a twunk now I started lifting at 16 to suppress it because my family is super religious and would disown me if they found out although I stopped in February because I hate my body now
Idk if I would pass or not my facial structure is feminine disregarding my brow and I grow facial hair pretty fast thick to
So what I think I might do is just start taking mones secretly while I burn off all my muscle and if I don't pass I can be a andro fen boy I can live with that
>>5978425
I hid the fact I was taking hormones for over 6 months before voluntarily telling my parents, and could probably go a couple years, it's really a non-issue outside of cis-tier breast growth (unlikely). Even then, you can do what FTMs do, even a sports bra makes me look flat.
About the facial hair, you can get a massive head-start with laser for like $200, super-easy, electrolysis is a bitch. By the time you're done with all the sessions your hair won't be growing fast at all and will be sparse and thin. Not exactly end-game but hey, better than killing yourself.
Just get out of there, start hormones, and figure out the hard stuff later.
same here, allways knew. My parents didn't let me and the people I called for treatment were full. Well,don't kill yourself, become a complete selfless member of society and help people as much as you can.
>become a member of a club and start teaching (for exampel in a sports club)
>help you community
>enlist in the army
your life is not meaningless now, it just can't revolve around you.
>>5978166
I started HRT at 19 and im passable now. Theres hope, OP.
>>5978614
How old are you now?
>>5978548
Good advice with the exception of joining the army.
Don't join the army.
>>5978548
i despise " be selfless" fags
fuck being selfless. after you die you're dead. 6 feet under. you're telling this person to live for other people?
>>5978667
>allways join the army*
you get respected, you get to studie, you have a possibility to die in your job. it's perfect.
>>5978676
yes, living for others will make you happy. If you can't live for your self, as it won't make you happy, living for other still will.
You might only have this one live, so why not fight for the greater good instead of one meaningless live (your own).
but I don't think you can understand this, selfish cuck.
>>5978696
greater good is bullshit. why care about others?
>>5978708
if you can't understand this simple social reason, you should seek out treatment. A normal person should understand that teaching severall hundred people valuable things in your live is more important than you are.
>>5978637
22, started passing a bit after turning 21.
>>5978166
>always had inklings of being trans since I was young
>my friends were all girls, I liked to dress up in my mom's clothes and wear makeup with my sister when we were little
>I even remember my mom telling me once when I was like 12 or so that transgendered people exist and she'd understand and support me if I was one
>thought to myself that being a girl would be way too much work and that male puberty would purge the dysphoria from me
>it didn't
>now I'm 18 and already ruined by T, just came out and starting hrt soon but I'm worried it's too late
I was so fucking close, dammit. I wish I had a time machine so I could just slap young me and tell them to fucking go for that golden ticket to be a cute girl.
>>5978696
Are we even allowed in the army yet? Like, do we have to wait for the court hearing in spring this year? Or is this hearing just to be able to go in the field with a doubletapper and I could sign up at any time?
>>5979098
I don't even know your counrty. I am german. There is a huge difference between trying to join as a tranny or becoming a tranny later on. However if you decide not to transition it doesn't matter at all. You just shouldn't tell them about your depression and shit.
>flags on every board please
>>5978726
>If you disagree with the majority, you must need drugs
Disgusting.
Anon's life belongs to (assuming mtf) her, and it exists primarily for her sake. If all it's doing is causing her suffering, and you expect her to continue to suffer for you people, that's true selfishness.
>>5979237
>that implying
I said nothing about Drugs, neither about whom her life belongs to.
I gave my opinion on how to have a decent live, if you choose not to transition.
People don't have to kill themselfe just because they can't transition, even if you want that
>If all it's doing is causing her suffering, and you expect her to continue to suffer for you people
maybe you can understand that some people say something to show others a way to still enjoy their live somewhat. We don't have to kill ourselves, but if there is no value in our live for us, we might find a value in it, if we care about other people. This caring about other people will be a good way to cope with things like self hate; the activity will give less time to other thoughts.
>>5979281
Sorry for the strawman, I assumed that "seek help" meant "there's something wrong with you," and the predominant fix for that is drugs.
Shit, you seem sensible, I feel bad now. I started spewing counterarguments to arguments you never made, my mistake. :c
>tfw
now i just lay around and think about dying a lot
i wish i could just die
>>5979381
iktf. You should make friends, or get laid if you can. They tend to make for good distractions from bleak hopelessness.
>>5979403
>get laid if you can
I don't think I'd want to have sex outside of a serious relationship.
I mean it's not like I've ever even held hands or anything before but it seems gross to just have sex with a random person.
Also I'm pretty socially retarded and live in a rural area so it's a no-go anyway.
>>5978935
Fuck, same. I would have been super model tier. Brb I'm just gonna kill myself
>>5979752
well, you have not much of a choice. Either you get active and work for it (becoming a happier/better person) or you don't.
Just make a plan, that allowes you to transition theoretically, even if you will never do it. It's way easier than.
But it's true, it's hard to do those things, especially if you are depressed; they made my situation better thougt, so maybe they will work for others
>>5978503
>voluntarily telling my parents
not everyone has accepting families
i'm 26, about to turn 27 in a few months... i've known ever since i can remember. and i have done nothing to transition aside from getting a binder. one that i don't even wear because i've gotten too fat to fit in it because eating is the only thing that's really comforting to me.
i really want to kill myself. i just don't know how to work up the courage to do it. i know i'm a pathetic waste of space but i'm too pussy to do it
I told my parents at 14 and they beat me and sent me to catholic school, now I'm a 19 year old gay boy with disappointed parents
>>5981663
I feel like I would of had the same results had I said anything.
I don't get it I have religious parents and believe in Christianity to an extent but I don't get how hating people is doing anything.
>>5981622
Sorry you're in that place. If you're gonna die, then first make a last effort to transition. Throw lines out to therapists.
Or source bootleg T
like I did in the beginning
lots of research first
I mean at this point what have you got to lose.
see a therapist
if you can't then get yourself committed, whatever it takes pham
>>5981796
i don't think i could even stomach going to a gp, and a therapist can't get me hormones. i'm so disgusting and i don't even know what kind of health problems i could have because i haven't seen a doctor for like 8 years...
i don't even see any value in trying. i'd be wasting the time and moneyof those few people i care about... (because of course i'm an unemployed piece of shit who leeches of those around me) i don't want to do that to them. they'll all have easier lives without me
>>5980794
I know, I was just saying that you can hide it if you want.
>>5981912
hey doofus, i had a family member kill themselves and they were a complete mess and a burden. it CRUSHED us. i've developed panic disorder and all sorts of health issues since. you have no idea how difficult it is to go through.
>5981944
you're stating the obvious. i don't expect it to be easy for the people around me. but it expect it to be easier than it would be if they were saddled with the responsibility of me.
are you sure you wouldn't be in a worse place if the person was still alive? would you appreciate them if they were? people are so sad about those who they've lost but they ignore and take for granted the ones who are there. i have someone who says they love me and care about me but they do absolutely nothing to try and help me. the phrase "i love you" only goes so far when it's not backed up with any meaningful action.
it's probably not right of me to criticize you. it's probably awful. but see, it's things that i do like this that convince me that i need to free the rest of the world from my presence.
I started at 25 and now I am 26 and I am starting to fail boy mode, and I was buff and manly before hrt.
>>5982130
trust me, having it happen left me with so many regrets. every time i could have reached out, i never ever thought it would come to that, i just didn't know. i'm not sure of how it is with you, but coming from someone who has been in a similar place AND experienced the loss, it's gotta be you that reaches out.
look, i would put myself in complete financial ruin and squat in abandoned houses if i could buy that person's life back. i guarantee you someone you know will feel the same if you do it.
get yourself committed to a hospital if it comes to that. say you can't pay. you might be able to get some free/cheap professional help that way.
>>5982157
do you have before and after pics?
>>5982220
not really, told myself I was going to do a timeline but deleted most my old pics
Do it!
Kill Yourself!
fucking fag
>>5979788
>Just make a plan, that allowes you to transition theoretically, even if you will never do it. It's way easier than.
Yeah I agree with this and it's what I'm doing.
>>5978166
I'm 27 and I haven't transitioned. You will make it.
>>5983240
>Implying passing is the be all, end all of everything.
>>5983245
>Implying societies in most parts of the world allow you to even make a passable attempt at a life if you don't pass
>Implying that even in the accepting parts of the world, a good life still wouldn't be easier to achieve if you passed
>>5983245
>>5983245
>>Implying passing is the be all, end all of everything.
it kinda is
