hello everyone. Here is a story of why I'm garbage and how gay men are garbage too. This is how I became more and more degenerate because I hate myself.
>be little kid
>mom dies early
>only dad is there for me
>he sometimes molests me
>i would always feel like shit and knew something was wrong but i was too young to understand why
>was always bullied at school and made no friends
>when i went home, my dad would touch me and then hit me, and threatened that if i told anyone i would be dead
>grow older and go to highschool
>girls don't like me, boys seem to want to hurt me so i am very shy and quiet
>was raped in the locker rooms by two guys
>they called me a faggot while taking turns on me
>go home with a bloody ass
>try to avoid dad all day, lucky for me he was either working overnight or getting shitfaced
>i try to deny i am gay but realize it's the truth. I could only get off to gay porn
>get older, finally was able to sprout hair and look more manly, i take after my father
>after that my dad stopped touching me
>he kicked me out because he didn't find me attractive anymore
>living on the streets as a homeless faggot
>beg on the streets, look into trash cans for something to eat
>go to local gay bar
>scared.jpg
>one man is interested in me
>i realize that i don't have to be homeless, i can just get guys to take me to their house in one night stands
>do this with the man who is interested in me
>it's scary at first but it works and I have a place to shower and got him to buy a burger for me at mcdonalds
>do this over and over at the gay bar
>hookup and have a place to stay and eat for a night
>meet this one man who is more into me seriously than any other of my hookups
>he takes me to his rich high rise apartment and cooks me a really good meal
>we have sex and he asks if i want to meet up again tomorrow
>ask him if i can stay for the night
>he says sure
>i try to hide the fact that im homeless
>me and him hang out so often that i stop using the gay bar
I'm really sorry this has happened to you man.
>come out at 14 without any identity issues
>friends accept this without any qualms
>parents support me and continue to be amazing (mum's a judge, and dad's an academic with multiple degrees)
>date and sleep around a little in high school because I was a hormonal teen
>get to a good uni and study aero e
>meet boy of my dreams in the maths department in my sophomore year
>we've been together for almost four years now
>I'm working as a draughtsman and he's in grad school
>have enough money now to pay 35% down on a starter house near where my parents live in my home city
>talking about marriage
>parents love my SO
Am I seriously in the minority here? My homosexuality has literally never played a negative role in my emotional development.
>we get closer and closer
>he keeps asking me about my life
>i finally spill the beans about my abuse and rape and overall shitty life
>he tells me that i don't have to worry anymore and that he can take care of me
>live with him now
>im so happy because this is what life is supposed to be all along and i have a kind and wonderful bf to love me
>we live together for three months
>things start to fall apart
>he gets overprotective of me and gets very angry anytime i look at anyone, even girls
>there's a power imbalance, he's rich and i'm a neet
>because i'm lower class and have no power and live in his place and eat his food, he treats me as his dog and puts a lot of restrictions on me
>forces sex on me when i didn't want to
>we go to an all gay male sex party together
>i feel sick but had no choice but to go
>he goes all out on the other men and im alone in this weird place
>other men seem interested in me so i talk to them
>my bf sees this and is so angry that he pulls me out of the party and drives us home
>im terrified he's going to beat the shit out of me so the minute he parks, i open the car door and run away as far as i can
>homeless again
>can't go to local gay bar since he goes there sometimes
>hunt around the city for anything i can use
>there's another gay bar, it's bigger and more of a dance club
>go inside so i can get a hookup for a place to stay
>am able to do this for awhile
>met my 2nd bf there
>we hooked up and i stayed at his apartment
>i hookup with him frequently
>he asks if i want to be his bf
>i say yes i do
>he's not rich but he does well and we both get along and i am happy
>he gets me to work at minimum wage job so now i can make my own money
>we're happy together for many months
>i work overtime a lot
>come back home very late
>one night i come back home at the latest i've ever been held back
>my bf is having sex with another man
>the pain inside me is so bad, it hurt so much
>i leave the apartment
>bf yells at me to come back
>i decide to go back to him the next day
>he says he's really sorry and did it because he was lonely
>i forgive him and we try to go back the way it was
>it won't work, it can never go back the way it was
>i'm always angry at him and he says he's lonely but he seems so distant
>eventually he breaks up with me
>am heartbroken
>even more heartbroken that he just hooked up with another guy not even two days after i left
>i try to hold my shit together
>if he can throw me away like that than i can do the same
>now working at job but still not enough cash to make rent
>so i go back to my old ways of hooking up for a place to stay
>go to bar and flirt with guys
>one guy asks me to hang out at his place
>i say yes and we go
>he makes me a drink and some dumplings
>let's eat he says
>i drink and eat and soon get very very tired
>am completely sleepy
>i crawl to his living room area in front of the tv and close my eyes and sleep
>wake up and freak out
>can't move or see anything
>realize i'm tied up and i hear him say "puppy is all yours"
>i feel strange hands all over me
>i think i'm being used as a sex slave
>try to think how to get out of here
>i scream as loud as i can but someone just tapes my mouth shut
>i get raped and now i'm trapped here
>next customer, i beg him to free me
>he pretends not to hear me and uses me
>next customer, i decide to flirt with him and am able to get him to release me because i told him i wanted to worship his body
>i see that im in some shitty apartment
>i trick him to give me his clothes
>now i'm fully clothed and he's naked
>i kick him in the nuts and get the hell out of this shitty apartment
>run away as far as i can
>too scared to try my typical tactics again with the gay bar
> i feel so hopeless and scared and lonely
>i feel like nothing good will ever happen to me
>im too fucked up and its too late for me
>im a fucked up gay man and every gay man i met is fucked up too
>im going to kill myself
>see cars in a fast lane
>plan to get smashed by these cars and die
>can't make myself do it
>go to the bridge
>get ready to jump off bridge and drown in the river
>can't do it, survival instinct too strong
>this is fucking bullshit
>im useless and i have no balls to do anything
>decide to go back to the gay club
>go back to my old ways and get hookups
>this time i don't care how my body is used
>just let them destroy me i dont care anymore
>at least it will feel good even though the good feelings will not last
>don't care if i get hiv
>don't care if i give anyone some weird disease
>don't care about my health
>don't care about gay men
>i just want to disappear
>i flirt and talk to any man interested in me
>i can switch my personality to "cute, shy innocent guy" to "crazy fun party guy"
>can entice so many men
>have sex with so many of them because it doesn't matter
>don't know if i have any stds or hiv but i really don't care
>am now waiting for sweet release as i fuck my life away
>been to many different gay clubs and a gay sauna or two
>been to many sex parties in the arms of gay men who think i'm cool
>i've lost count with how much sex i've had with men without condoms
>maybe around 1000?
>could be more than that idk
>all these interesting and rich places are fun for awhile
>but my shitty feelings come back and hit me and try to escape them through sex and drugs
>it's a slow suicide but at least i have fun sometimes
and that is my story. just wanted to get it out there. i know i am a massive faggot and i have no morals but i don't care. have a nice day /lgbt/.
Sexy
>>5920615
Most homeless shelters won't accept gaybois.
>all this self hate because others treated you like shit
Some severe Stockholm syndrome in here.
I never understood this.
>>5920631
>not hating yourself for being a faggot
>>5920680
It's not my fault I'm not straight.
>>5920696
Yeah it is
>>5920703
It's not my fault.
>sex having normy complaining about depression
top kek
>>5920584
Do you live in Yurope?
>>5920717
You could just not act on it you faggot
>>5920870
Shut up.
I can act on it if I want.
If people don't want me to they shouldn't have made it legal.
is it even possible to have a loyal monogamous relationship in the gay male world?
>>5920436
>This is how I became more and more degenerate because I hate myself
>because I hate myself
you're just a worthless piece of shit, kill yourself.
>>5920887
Kill yourself you fucking worthless faggot, no one would miss you
>>5920984
>waaaah why don't all gays hate themselves I hate gays that don't hate themselves
topkek
>no one would miss you
Then why kill myself?
>>5920995
>why should I kill myself
No one cares about you, you're deformed and a degenerate, and are objectively worthless
>>5920615
Because it's a fantasy, bro. Putting a stop to the masochism and slutty submissiveness like that wouldn't make for a good story.
>>5921014
>No one cares about you, you're deformed and a degenerate, and are objectively worthless
Reasons for me to stay alive.
Damnit, 4chan is such a fucked up place. After someone, who suffered in a way most of us cant imagine, writes down his life story, the comments are mostly inhuman rubbish.
OP: How old are you now? Where do you live? Arent there any social facilities in your country, where you could look for shelter?
I know life seems worthless to you at the moment. The fucked up thing is: No matter how bad it is, it can always get worse. You have sth to live and fight for. Where do you live?
>>5920467
thank you father
>>5920436
copy pasta
>>5920467
I hope that all you hold dear will crumble into dust in your hands.
In all seriousness, yes, you are in the minority. Most people don't have rich, highly educated parents. Most people don't live in the first world either. That much should be obvious.
>>5921764
Lol you're pathetic, subhuman scum.
This is copypasta and a ruse right?
>>5920467
>Am I seriously in the minority here?
yes.
