What happens when you're in a gay couple and your partner says that they are experiencing dysphoria? Any stories?
When I told my girlfriend that I thought I was trans, she took it really hard. Wouldn't talk about it, wouldn't think about it. But she loves me and I love her, so she said we'd try to make it work.
She's my biggest supporter. She calls me he/him and uses my name, and helps me with looking more masculine. I'm still pre-T, we're going to try to make it work until she can't anymore. I'm not really sure it'll work, but she's been attracted to trans men before, so I do have some hope.
>>6566252
Do you know what your plans as a couple were? Have they changed?
>>6566293
If she ends up to be too gay to stay with me, then I understand. It'll hurt, but I can't make her stay with someone she's incapable of being attracted to.
However, our plans aren't any different for now. We just signed a year's lease on a house together, and we're planning to get married eventually.
>>6566399
Grats
>>6566252
>>6566399
>I suffer despite having a stable relationship, a career, and enough income to purchase my own home
>>6567226
A broken leg is a broken leg, dude. Also, don't blame your shitty life on trans stuff. You make your bed and lie in it.
>>6568559
but being trans is like being handicap, and prevents me from being more successful
>>6568584
Stop using excuses. Your failure is your own.
>>6566222
>experiencing dysphoria
I would tell them the cure to lifting negative feelings is to practice beneficial, rewarding rituals like putting a quarter pound of roast beef on provolone with some mayo and bringing it to me with a beer.
Let the healing begin.
>>6568644
Not them but I've been fired for being a faggot who pops hormones and became too gay looking.
>>6568709
>too gay looking
meaning?
Being trans doesn't mean you get a green card for acting/dressing like a moron. A lot of transpeople manage professional life just fine and carry themselves with dignity. You can't expect an employer to keep you if you act in ways that damages business.
Yes, we have an extra weakness as transpeople, no it should not be used as an excuse.
>>6568709
Well, we make choices. Im sure you found or will find something else.
You may not choose to feel like the opposite sex, but you do choose how to present yourself in different situations. A priority on personal comfort may not always be the most beneficial.
A lot of people hate a suit and tie, but they make choices. Some people would rather wear their hair long or a beard, but it isn't appropriate for the environment they choose to make a living from.
I think I might actually like walking out of the house one day doing my best to pass as a chick to see what happens. I might discover a whole new sexual frontier.
But...
That decision would have consequences. And my interest in discovering that frontier rate less than those consequences, So I choose not to.
And that's how that works.
>>6568740
>meaning?
Meaning I no longer looked straight even if I wore a fucking burlap sack.
>trans shit retardation
I'm not trans. Just a boy who modified his body for shits and giggles.
This means I tried looking like a normal cis male in regards to clothing, and I still do. I was fired for being physically effeminate. Any tranny hiding their transition could easily face the same shit as I.
I'm sorry, but not everyone lives in the magical land of dreams rainbows and unicorns. You'd have gotten some shit if you lived in the real world.
>>6568742
See >>6568862
Clothing had literally nothing to do with it. Jeans and a hoodie. How is that gay looking? Normal male jeans. Not skinny jeans, not women's jeans, just average normal fucking jeans. Normal clothing you would see on any straight cis male. That is what I wore.
I did choose to become a boygirl freak thing in visual appearance, but the thing is I'm not complaining about that. I am merely pointing out that, here in the real world, people like myself and trannies could easily have a harder time getting by, no matter how hard they try. I could quit the hormones, I don't because no fucks given. I imagine for a tranny that would be the most horrible shit, to quit hormones so they could work and have normal economic and social opportunities that all others take for granted. Because that is what they would have to do in some areas.
>>6568731
I know :/
Maybe if they leave their little fairy land, that will fix their baseless opinions.
>>6568880
>Just a boy who modified his body for shits and giggles.
So your failures are indeed your own.
>>6568880
>Maybe if they leave their little fairy land
>>6567226
I don't have a career, I work at a fucking Panda Express
Also the house is a ramshackle lease in the middle of bumfuck, I mean I'm not complaining, I love it, but it's not exactly nice
There are a lot of things that make my life hard though. I just didn't say anything about them because they weren't relevant.
>>6568992
Your post is nothing but a display of your incompetence.
You're missing the whole point. Of course it was a complete free choice for me, but that isn't my point at all. My point is that it's not a choice for trannies. So a tranny in my area would be stuck dealing with that shit even with a great boymode. They'd just get too girly looking physically eventually, and their body would be to androgynous to not look like some sort of fag, just like mine became.
The point: trannies have to face the same shit where I live, and many other places. Except unlike me they don't have a choice, and no amount of dressing the right way will help you here.
Aside from small enclaves of truly tranny-tolerant areas, a tranny will have more difficulty finding a job and having a career and many other things in life. Even simple human interaction can become ruined.
Luckily for me I'm pretty awesome and managed to pull off something nice. But without luck I easily could have been completely boned.
>>6569008
Read the file name
>>6570140
You're responding to a tranny you moron. The point is presentation. Unless you live in a Hate Country (most 4channer's don't) the point of presentation and dignity is more important than the fact that they're trannies. I run my own business and presenting myself as a dignified human being trumphs being trans every time. You can silence people's ignorance by disproving people's prejudisms. If they assume trannies are mentally unstable drama queens don't act like one, and in effect prove them wrong. Have your credentials in order, get a good education, make sure you keep connections, and be polite and dignified when interacting with everyone, and you will have a career, tranny or not.
>>6570194
>I'm a tranny hurr hurr
Good, then you should understand why having to choose between hrt and feeling like shit forever isn't much of a choice.
Again missing the point though. Not everyone lives in your area. There are US states, for example, where it is totally legal to fire or not hire people or kick them out of your business for being LGBT. You don't need to go to shitholistan. It is undeniable that this often creates difficulty for people. There is a higher degree of difficulty for people like you and I, in these places, to be successful. While doing your best and having good qualifications and trying hard will do you good, there is still that bit of added difficulty. You don't have the same exact opportunities as everyone else here, no matter how well you present yourself and carry yourself, because based off of your physical appearance alone you will by default assumed to be shit, a weirdo, a freak, until proven otherwise. That's just how it is here. I leave the house and go in public and invariably get shit because people can't figure out whether I'm a boy or a girl. That's purely physical too. My clothes don't change that.
Your area doesn't have this, good for you. You did well, good for you, here's a virtual pat on the head. But you also didn't face the shit that some people have to, and that comes through in your writing.
Hard work will never hurt, and will almost invariably improve your standing. I'm not arguing against that. I'm arguing that for people in places like mine, there is a higher difficulty setting for trans who don't pass yet but still have become quite feminized, or people like me. It's not just I work, but in all social interaction.
(Cont)
>>6570347
(Cont)
You may say "then leave lol" but that is easier said than done and much must be sacrificed to do it. Friendships, relationships, distance from family, possibly work issues, going to a new area whose land you don't like for whatever reason, etc. I'll ignore the cost and risk factors, but they are there. Having to move to live normally is of itself proof of a raised difficulty setting. A straight cis person wouldn't have to do that.
So face it. Some of us are held back or given more difficulty to attain the same things. They are obtainable, but may require a lot more than it'd take normal people. Lost the birth lottery and get born a tranny in bum fuck Alaska and you will have the cards stacked against you from the get go.
Thankfully where I live there is a very high volume of available jobs, now I do something that actually uses my degree, I've only moved up. But it's been harder than it would have been without being physically androgynous.
>>6570347
>>6570351
I come from a more conservative country than yours and trannies have a lot more trouble here than in the US. What I'm saying is that there is a huge difference between the one's using it as an excuse (like you) and the ones who recognize the weakness, secure themselves and involve legal action if they find themselves marginalized. You're a femboy with tits. Did it ever occur to you that you could bind them like a ftm would? Or that you could present more masculine (or feminine, whatever rocks your boat) at work to minimize confusion? Business/work/public is all about appearances and play, and you choose how to present yourself. Learn make up and get acting skills and stop being a whiny bitch.
>>6570452
Have you considered that I tried all that? Shaved head doesn't even fix it, and I also talk like a straight guy. Binding your tits is not only uncomfortable, it also does nothing to masculinize your face. Also if there is any legal action you can take, your country is less conservative as a fact.
Furthermore I have not used it as an excuse, you should have gathered that from what I wrote. I prospered in spite of it, through hard work, determination, and not quitting. I was never arguing anyone should use it as an excuse. I was arguing that it can make things harder, which is undeniable fact. I was not saying that's reason to give up. It's reason to work harder, if anything. We are in agreement in some ways and I wish you'd see that.
With maxed out masculine presentation it still doesn't change my physical body. I'm unwilling to go back and remasculinize physically. I carry myself in a masculine matter. I talk in a masculine matter and even sound manlier than most. Doesn't matter though.
I worked hard and improved my lot in life by quite a lot. I've got a real career. But I had to work harder to get it than most, and so would a non passing tranny who was too feminized to pull off a normal boy mode yet not feminized enough or ready for girl mode. I'm not arguing it's an excuse to give up or do poorly, I'm just saying it is factually more difficult, that is all.
>>6570513
>I carry myself in a masculine matter. I talk in a masculine matter and even sound manlier than most. Doesn't matter though.
No you don't. But good for you working hard to achieve your goals. I doubt you have encountered any more problems than the average normie though. It doesn't sound like it.
>Also if there is any legal action you can take, your country is less conservative as a fact.
The standard prosedure is to use international pressure from trans-organizations and human rights groups to provoke change and/or protection. I recall your country pulling the same stunt on a national level when the toilet feud raged. Just like before, you decided to look at the negative instead of the potential resources. If no one can help you locally widen your search.
This is me irl right now
my bf knows about my gender issues, but thinks they're mostly under control. He said okay to me taking some hormones to be a femboy, but I still desperately want to be female and do full HRT
I don't want to lie to him but I don't want to keep putting it up and end up a disgusting hon
help ;_;
>>6570588
>your first point
You have no way to confirm. Into the garbage it goes.
>2nd point
If you have to even go for any kind of legal help that is automatically having more difficulty than the average person, no matter how possible or impossible, no mater how helpful or unhelpful, said things may be. In an ideal world I wouldn't have to do such things.
That said if I had gone for legal help nothing would have come of it. No business would have been lost by them. No legal repercussions for them. Just wasted time for me, and I tried finding ways to get legal help in regards to those issues. There was and is none to be had.
International pressure and national-level pressure is slow. It's not the kind of thing that helps someone in the here and now, it's what helps people in the future. National-level anti-discrimination laws would be what it'd take. But that would do nothing to make people in these areas stop seeing androgynous folks as freaks.
>I doubt you have encountered any more problems than the average normie though. It doesn't sound like it.
So the average normie is explicity fired and discriminated against and harassed for being visibly androgynous? The average normie can't go in public without getting shit? Good to know, I'm glad it happens to everyone else too.
>>6570853
>I act/present masculine
>I pop monies, have tits, and whine because I can't structure arguments.
Choose one and only one.
>If you have to even go for any kind of legal help that is automatically having more difficulty than the average person, no matter how possible or impossible, no mater how helpful or unhelpful, said things may be. In an ideal world I wouldn't have to do such things.
Cis women, half the population, regularly have to retort to legal aid because of discrimination based on their gender. Most people experience discrimination of one kind or the other. You are whining because cis-white-man.jpg.
>That said if I had gone for legal help nothing would have come of it. No business would have been lost by them. No legal repercussions for them. Just wasted time for me, and I tried finding ways to get legal help in regards to those issues. There was and is none to be had.
We have already adressed this. Are you dim?
>But that would do nothing to make people in these areas stop seeing androgynous folks as freaks.
But it would stop them acting on it.
>So the average normie is explicity fired and discriminated against and harassed for being visibly androgynous?
The average normie gets fired and discriminated against on other bases. An educated tranny gets chosen over a cis ex-junkie. A well spoken well dressed tranny gets chosen over a guy who has a lazy eye, speech impediment, and dresses like a slob.
